First-World Problems.

[Kim]

Eyebrows.

[Mrs Pingu]

Behold the field in which I grow my fucks for having a monobrow.....
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OTOH wearing specs helps hide it.

[closetleftie]

Eldest Leftie just made himself eggy bread for breakfast. He's quite particular about it: finely chopped parsley, black pepper in the egg mixture, cheese on top once he's done the first flip, lid on to let it melt and so forth. The end results are usually magnificent, to be fair. Then he installs himself on the sofa, forgets the remote. Gets up, turns his back, and our cocker spaniel tucks in.

He's used the last bread in the house. Currently kooking glum scoffing a bowl of shreddies.

[Torslanda]

Cocker fucking spaniel would be in orbit/buried/rehomed if that happened here...

[PeteB99]

My iPod battery died halfway through my turbo session this morning.

[Vince]

I've misplaced my mobile phone. It's in the house somewhere and I would call it with the house phone, but I can't remember the number.

[Diver300]

An email chain with me in it contained over 5000 instances of ">" as so many emails had been replied to.

[Kim]

An email chain with me in it contained over 5000 instances of ">" as so many emails had been replied to.

At least they were quoting properly?

[rogerzilla]

I can't work out whether to do a no.2 in the upstairs or downstairs toilet.  One has an extractor fan but the other has a warmer seat.

[SoreTween]

Dear Mr Sainsburys,

I understand why you have ejected herbs and spices from all other vendors from your stores and replaced them with your own brand.  I applaud you for a job done properly, all non Mr S herbs and spices have been ejected and replaced with a completely comprehensive range of your own.  Even the weird stuff that gets used once a decade is covered in your range.

So why on earth did you decide to put it all in jars that don't fit a standard spice jar holder?  What you have succeeded in doing is ensuring I never do my weekly shop on your orange stores whenever there are herbs or spices on the list.   A side effect of your policy is me cursing mightily in isle 6 when I forget and round the corner to see your H&S fatjars.  I believe the kids of today might say Epic Failz.

If you'd introduced a complete and comprehensive set of packaging light refills alongside new ones you'd have won my custom but I will not treat a brand new non-recycleable hereabouts plastic jar as a refill.  I'll just go to the green, blue, other green or one of the yellow options instead.

[Kim]

Yeah, but do they sell spice racks?

[T42]

The missus inflicted one of these on me for Christmas:

https://www.noxgear.com/tracer360

I'll happily wear a hi-viz vest, but tote an extra 200g so as to light up like a frickin' psychedelic octopus? Darlin' dear, it's just not me.

I assume the nox in the URL is short for noxious.

In any case if I used it as suggested the éplucheurs'd** have me for emitting to the rear a light other than red.

**French for peeler, as in potato

[andrewc]

What sort of inconsiderate people give you a full case of wine as a present, when they know you live on the 4th floor & there is no lift ? 


Oh, me back !

[Mr Larrington]

You need one of those block-and-tackle arrangement such as can still be seen in Old Amsterdam, for getting pianos in through the top storey windows.

[andrewc]

I've considered one.  Especially for the Thorn Nomad!  Shouldering that up the stairs is leaving me as lopsided as a medieval longbow man!

[Andrij]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

[hellymedic]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

Do you have a scanner so you can image this onto a phone or computer?

[Andrij]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

Do you have a scanner so you can image this onto a phone or computer?

I guess I could photograph the bottom of the box with my phone or tablet, then use that for reference.  But then I'm cluttering up my devices with photos which are useful for only a very short time and will need to be deleted.  Obviously yet another first world problem.

[CAMRAMan]

The soft-close toilet seat isn't so soft-close any more. It makes a bit of a clatter now.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

The BBC seem to have cut a lot out of this afternoon's showing of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[mattc]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

Do you have a scanner so you can image this onto a phone or computer?

I guess I could photograph the bottom of the box with my phone or tablet, then use that for reference.  But then I'm cluttering up my devices with photos which are useful for only a very short time and will need to be deleted.  Obviously yet another first world problem.

Why on earth would you delete it???

[T42]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

Do you have a scanner so you can image this onto a phone or computer?

I guess I could photograph the bottom of the box with my phone or tablet, then use that for reference.  But then I'm cluttering up my devices with photos which are useful for only a very short time and will need to be deleted.  Obviously yet another first world problem.

You need one of those transparent tables with a mirror at 45° underneath that doctors make you stand on when they want to examine the contact areas of your feet.

[hellymedic]

Yet another box of assorted chocolates has the 'key' on the bottom of the box.

Do you have a scanner so you can image this onto a phone or computer?

I guess I could photograph the bottom of the box with my phone or tablet, then use that for reference.  But then I'm cluttering up my devices with photos which are useful for only a very short time and will need to be deleted.  Obviously yet another first world problem.

You need one of those transparent tables with a mirror at 45° underneath that doctors make you stand on when they want to examine the contact areas of your feet.

You could image box before opening or if securely closed...

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

Just tip the fecking chocolates into a bowl!

[Canardly]

Lobster tails were rubbery!