Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 235663 times)

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2650 on: 27 July, 2021, 10:23:10 am »
Put the battery out of the A4 on the recharger this morning. A couple of hours later nothing seemed to be happening. Put the multimeter across the charger output: zilch.  Then remembered why there's a dud fuse sitting in the bits dish on my bench.

Fortunately, I have two chargers, and t'other one works.
But they never got to Carcassonne.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2651 on: 27 July, 2021, 07:17:12 pm »
Narrowly avoided doing a Hanananannanh[1] (who once famously found herself in A&E trying to convince them she was merely bad at DIY and therefore didn't need to see the duty psych about her slit wrist) by fighting with a Schwalbe Pro One with the wheel brake rotor side up.  Fortunately the surprisingly painful wrist injury is merely a graze, and I was able to glue the thumb back together.


[1] The astrononononomer.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2652 on: 28 July, 2021, 09:03:58 am »
Narrowly avoided doing a Hanananannanh[1] (who once famously found herself in A&E trying to convince them she was merely bad at DIY and therefore didn't need to see the duty psych about her slit wrist) by fighting with a Schwalbe Pro One with the wheel brake rotor side up.  Fortunately the surprisingly painful wrist injury is merely a graze, and I was able to glue the thumb back together.


[1] The astrononononomer.

I did that stripping a wire with a Stanley knife back in 1991.  No psych suggestions and I got to see the inside of my wrist when the surgeon was knotting stuff together again, just like that bit in Terminator but not quite so elaborate. Still got the knife on my desk.

Anyway, my further claim to divvery this morning is that when I took the A4 battery off the charger yesterday I thoughtlessly let the crocodile clips touch each other before unplugging from the mains, so now I have two chargers with blown fuses.  :facepalm:
But they never got to Carcassonne.

CommuteTooFar

  • Inadequate Randonneur
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2653 on: 30 July, 2021, 10:28:00 pm »
Today I very carefully bought two right hand window handles.  When I got home I discovered I need the left hand versions. Idiot

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2654 on: 30 July, 2021, 10:29:02 pm »
Good effort  :thumbsup:

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2655 on: 30 July, 2021, 11:12:35 pm »
I once bought some ambihandrous ones and found the shaft didn't fit.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2656 on: 01 August, 2021, 05:11:27 pm »
The left mouse button was starting to double click without me wanting it to. I had a spare microswitch, so I opened the mouse up and changed......

the right mouse button switch.
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2657 on: 01 August, 2021, 08:37:33 pm »
The mediocre performance of the TSR's front suspension may have had something to do with me putting a washer in the wrong place when I rebuilt it with the "race" spring.  I wondered why one bolt seemed a bit short  :facepalm:

I can adjust the damping visually now.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2658 on: 02 August, 2021, 12:09:30 pm »
Spent all day carefully avoiding crashing and cramp during the silly bike races, then bashed my knee hard on the rent-a-car's pointy dashboard when I climbed in to drive home.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2659 on: 04 August, 2021, 01:06:24 pm »
I've been expectantly going downstairs each day to check the post for a particular item I need to finish a thing, being disappointed and trudging back upstairs while quietly cursing everyone.

Today I decided to check whether I'd actually ordered the thing.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2660 on: 06 August, 2021, 12:57:50 am »
I have a nice super-flexible GREEN Ethernet cable, which kicks around aimlessly on the floor for easy access when I want to plug something in for testing.  In spite of having boots on the connectors, a couple of days ago, while in the middle of something important, I somehow managed to snap the retaining tab on one of the RJ45 plugs.  So far so normal.

Because it's super-flexible, and moreover GREEN, I decided not to simply chuck it back in the box of assorted netjbexing stuffs and untangle a working one, but to dig out the case of elec-chicken tools and fit a new connector.  A couple of recitations of the T568B mantra and a bit of swearing in colourblind[1] later, I plugged it into my Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China, which reported lack of continuity on pins 4 and 5.   ???

So I chopped it off and fitted another.  Same problem.  "Ah!" I reasoned, "It must be a fault at the other end.", so I lopped that one off and fitted a new one.  Reader, it was not a fault at the other end.

Several RJ45 plugs later, I did what any reasonable person would do and stuck a warning note on the cable to the effect that the blue pair was mysteriously b0rked somewhere along the length (on the basis that Future Kim would have the sense to use it for Fast Ethernet, and not anything gigabit or telephonic or relying on the supply of voles), and chucked it back in the corner by way of making the problem go away.

Obviously this played on my mind until I came to rant at barakta earlier today.  Where, lacking something important to be in the middle of, I decided to sort the problem properly.  "Binary search!" I exclaimed in computer SCIENCE, and after a cursory inspection for obvious kinks or nicks, chopped the cable in two at the mid point.  Having by now become suspicious, I opted to strip and short the offending pair before fucking about with further crimping.  The tester showed continuity, so I proceeded.  To make yet another cable with no connection on pins 4&5.

At which point my brain started working, and I considered that perhaps it was my Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China that was at fault.  "Mongrels!" I exclaimed in the time-honoured Dave Jones antipodean style, as I discovered that they'd used triangle-head screws.  Barakta pointed out that I had a set of silly screwdriver bits, which were duly used to open it up, at which point it was about a minute's work to replace the offending LEDs with ones that still contained magic smoke.  I can only assume that past-Kim had been a div and plugged it into something that supplied ringing voltage or PoE.

Anyway, I'm now the proud owner of two nice super-flexible (if somewhat short) GREEN Ethernet cables, and a Cheap Shitty Network Cable Tester From China with mismatched blinkenlights and midly chewed screw heads.  Hurrah!   :facepalm:


(For anyone wondering about the knee referenced in my previous post, it's mostly stopped hurting, but has developed a respectable bruise.)


[1] For some inexplicable reason this one went: White wire, orange wire, other white wire, blue wire, light blue wire, poo colour wire, grey wire, dark poo colour wire.  Because the usual colours-and-matching-stripe scheme where you merely have to get a really bright light to determine which is the green and which is the orange would be too obvious, or something.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2661 on: 06 August, 2021, 01:17:45 am »
For Antipodean Bad Swears this Unit commends TV's Nick Atkins off of “Outback Truckers”, who can make the phrase or saying “you dirty mongrel bastard” – usually directed at truck-stopping bits of Captain Cook's Mistake – last about thirty seconds :thumbsup:
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2662 on: 06 August, 2021, 08:37:21 am »
MrsC needs cupboards in the barn (pottery-to-be).
We have some old crappy kitchen cupboards.

I say I'll put them on the walls.

Fittings for said cupboards have disappeared. No problem, I'll add some battening and screw through that.

Much swearing later (I had to hold cupboards up one handed while marking hole positions and they are bastard heavy like all chipboard furniture), cupboards are up.

MrsC comes out and points out that 2 of them are upside down. <cue laughter from audience>
She says that doesn't matter. Asks am I certain they are secure?

"Sure" sayeth I "Look" and hang my weight off a cupboard. Which promptly rips off the wall and falls on me. (Reader, I had already done this once and they were secure.)

Decide to buy some proper fittings, and more rawlplugs.

Much wrangling the next day - and part-way through fitting them - rawlplug (which isn't a 'real' rawlplug but some shitty knockoff, all I could get) pulls out of wall. Cupboard falls on me.

(I have now finished the job, using proper rawlplugs.)
<i>Marmite slave</i>

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2663 on: 06 August, 2021, 09:05:23 am »
I have discovered that if you insert the blade of a chainsaw upside down (so the chain runs backwards) no cutting takes place. It just rubs the wood a bit.  ::-)
There's no vibrations, but wait.

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2664 on: 06 August, 2021, 09:21:08 am »
Plugging usb cable to phone, going why aren't you coming up with the option to transfer files, started to poke around in the settings, minutes later, oh this usb goes to the wall not to the PC ...
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

Beardy

  • What’s this do?
  • I’ve always wondered where this was
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2665 on: 06 August, 2021, 09:28:18 am »
I’ve just replaced the drivers door handle on the boys Fiat 500, a straightforward if somewhat tight operation. I put the door panel on and tidied up my tools. As I,was putting the last of my tools in the boot of my own car I espied the strap of my headlamp. Oh. Guess where the business end of the headlamp was…  :facepalm:
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2666 on: 06 August, 2021, 02:32:06 pm »
Removing the bumper from a newish car, a bumper mounting brackets on either side, under the lights, was held onto the body with M6 screws with 10 mm hexagon heads, which would have been easy to remove, had the bumper not got in the way. After quite a lot of time fiddling various parts of the 1/4" square drive set, the lower left one still didn't move. I went to the right, and manage to get both top and bottom screws off.

At which point the bracket fell away from the bumper. It wasn't part of the bumper as I had assumed.

It turns out that the bracket screws to the body, and the bumper clips between the bracket and the bumper. It also unclips in fractions of a second once other bumper fasteners have been removed.

The divery comes from trying to undo screws that could not possibly have been fastened in seconds with the bumper in place. Everything on a car has to be fastened in seconds on a production line. It is therefore impossible that the bracket was part of the bumper, and I should have realised that before finding that they were separate.
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

Zipperhead

  • The cyclist formerly known as Big Helga
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2667 on: 06 August, 2021, 04:05:57 pm »
MrsC needs cupboards in the barn (pottery-to-be).
We have some old crappy kitchen cupboards.

I say I'll put them on the walls.

Fittings for said cupboards have disappeared. No problem, I'll add some battening and screw through that.

Much swearing later (I had to hold cupboards up one handed while marking hole positions and they are bastard heavy like all chipboard furniture), cupboards are up.

MrsC comes out and points out that 2 of them are upside down. <cue laughter from audience>
She says that doesn't matter. Asks am I certain they are secure?

"Sure" sayeth I "Look" and hang my weight off a cupboard. Which promptly rips off the wall and falls on me. (Reader, I had already done this once and they were secure.)

Decide to buy some proper fittings, and more rawlplugs.

Much wrangling the next day - and part-way through fitting them - rawlplug (which isn't a 'real' rawlplug but some shitty knockoff, all I could get) pulls out of wall. Cupboard falls on me.

(I have now finished the job, using proper rawlplugs.)

You are Reg Prescott AICMFP
Won't somebody think of the hamsters!

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
« Reply #2668 on: 06 August, 2021, 07:04:57 pm »
We're off on a mini - break to play bikes and as we were driving through Durham City I had that nagging feeling of having forgotten something.
Tried to read a poster and found out - I am away for the weekend with only my computer glasses. FFS. Good job Mr Smith does all the driving.
I have contacts for on the bike but they don't cure all my eyesight flaws either.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2669 on: 07 August, 2021, 06:39:45 pm »
Im giving this to my wife who went for a run this am before 9am and my daughter and I pass her running homweward. 30 mins later we are back home but my wife isnt. 4 hours later Im filing a missing persons report with the Police. My wife didnt take her key/phone, comes home door locked so goes for a bit of extra mileage. In this time we return home and go out again. In a comedic turn, wife returns home, sits for 2 hours in the garden, getting v.cold then decides to go to a friend's house. Friend calls me but dials the wrong number and wife isnt sure of mine:facepalm: It got sorted but the Police called round to check she was OK. Having a spare key in a wall box or located in the garden isn't necessary acc to my wife.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2670 on: 08 August, 2021, 12:01:06 pm »
Spare keys with the neighbour.  Is this not a thing anymore?

My non-div neighbour knocked recently requesting key due to similar "forgot to take mine and everybody's out".  I have also spent the last week feeding their cat putting food in the cat's bowl, no sign of the cat but the food seemed to be disappearing.


I've also had the enjoyment of returning home from a bike ride to find an angry father-in-law and my wife at my parent's house in panic having filed the missing person's report.  Much embarrassment of having to phone police to un-report myself, as well as phoning CTC contacts and everybody else who'd been questioned as to my missing status.    Mrs Nutty thought I'd gone on the CTC club run, whereas I'm sure I told her I was heading to my sister's.   I had a lovely long ride, until I got home.

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2671 on: 08 August, 2021, 12:04:41 pm »

My spare keys aren't with my neighbour, but there are a few sets with trusted friends. Slightly more awkward if I do need them tho.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2672 on: 09 August, 2021, 07:55:25 am »
I managed to put my shirt on back to front this morning.
But they never got to Carcassonne.

ian

  • not a woman, not an american, not a vampire
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2673 on: 09 August, 2021, 10:13:50 am »
We left spare keys with two friends, which seems a good idea, though with the intervention of time, one is now living on the other side of Oxford and the other somewhere near Rochester, Kent. One day this is going to prove very inconvenient.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2674 on: 09 August, 2021, 10:28:18 am »
Spare keys with the neighbour.  Is this not a thing anymore?

My non-div neighbour knocked recently requesting key due to similar "forgot to take mine and everybody's out".  I have also spent the last week feeding their cat putting food in the cat's bowl, no sign of the cat but the food seemed to be disappearing.


I've also had the enjoyment of returning home from a bike ride to find an angry father-in-law and my wife at my parent's house in panic having filed the missing person's report.  Much embarrassment of having to phone police to un-report myself, as well as phoning CTC contacts and everybody else who'd been questioned as to my missing status.    Mrs Nutty thought I'd gone on the CTC club run, whereas I'm sure I told her I was heading to my sister's.   I had a lovely long ride, until I got home.

MrsC and I went kayaking this weekend. I left her in the sheltered bay and said "I'm popping around that island", thinking it was about 5km and would take about 40min.

45min later, on the opposite of the island in biggish seas, I realised I'd somewhat underestimated how far I'd have to go. The size of the seas meant I needed to stay much further out, and the island was bigger than I thought. So I was gone nearly an hour.

MrsC casually informed me that she would have waited another hour before getting concerned anyway.
<i>Marmite slave</i>