Author Topic: You know you're middle aged when  (Read 186210 times)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #150 on: 04 February, 2016, 08:27:39 am »
I still find it mildly disgusting that a shop whose window proclaims TATTOOS in foot-high characters can actually flourish. Still, with a bit of luck hepatitis C and good old Darwin will prevail.

Apart from that old-fartish sentiment, my claim to codgerdom this morning is that I spent two days trying to find a 64 Gb Sandisk SD card I received earlier this week, only to find it by surprise in the equipment case I'd already looked in twice (ot was it thrice?), inside a mesh pocket made for SD cards but a good deal more opaque than I had appreciated.

Think I'll get CODGER tattooed on my forehead.

Or maybe not.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #151 on: 04 February, 2016, 08:48:09 am »
Seriously people, spellcheck that tat and get someone to proofread it before you put it on your skin. It's not difficult.

I suspect finding someone with the right combination of sobriety and literacy probably is thst difficult.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #152 on: 04 February, 2016, 10:00:21 am »
I suspect finding someone with the right combination of sobriety and literacy probably is thst difficult.
If I got a tattoo, it would be along the lines of "Spelling: is it really thst difficult?"  ;)

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #153 on: 08 February, 2016, 12:17:47 pm »
On receipt of a free bus pass, isn't it?

The only good thing about increasing the pension age is I shall stay middle aged for longer!
Reine de la Fauche


T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #154 on: 15 February, 2016, 08:39:46 am »
Making the Inlaw Paw's breakfast this morning, I folded a slice of mortadella and carefully plonked it down atop the marmalade already on one piece of toast, leaving the other bare.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

red marley

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #155 on: 15 February, 2016, 02:37:26 pm »
A tattoo shop set up near us a couple of years ago.  A couple of weeks before they opened, they unveiled the sign: "Tattoo's".  I pointed this out to the owner in a friendly manner, thinking he might not want his victims to be put off.  He was either too thick to understand or knew perfectly well that his victims wouldn't know any better.  It's still there, unaltered, when all it would have taken was three square inches of paint.  B'erk.

You know when you're middle aged (or a member of YACF) when...

... you'd tune into a C4 doc called "Tattoo sign fixers"

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #156 on: 15 February, 2016, 03:20:42 pm »
... you're trying to get ready for a wedding,

You know you're middle aged when you realise that you are going to more funerals than you ever did weddings
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #157 on: 15 February, 2016, 03:39:39 pm »
A couple of years ago my Mum complained I was going to too many funerals...

ian

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #158 on: 15 February, 2016, 06:35:07 pm »
A couple of years ago my Mum complained I was going to too many funerals...

I've never been to a funeral. I'm may skip my own.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #159 on: 16 February, 2016, 12:26:41 am »
My siblings now have seven married children. I have not attended all the weddings. I am the oldest...

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #160 on: 26 February, 2016, 08:09:16 am »
You know you're middle aged when you can't remember what it is your missus is currently Not Eating.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #161 on: 26 February, 2016, 12:09:04 pm »
At some point in the day you have to make a special trip to the toilet to give it a bit of a wipe

Ruthie

  • Her Majester
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #162 on: 26 February, 2016, 02:54:01 pm »
You look at the girl opposite you on the train, and in your head you're saying 'Pet, I was rocking the 'Fuckable Secretary' look when you were still a fetus.  I like my charity shop homeless person look, and one day so will you'.
Milk please, no sugar.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #163 on: 26 February, 2016, 03:29:22 pm »
 ;D
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #164 on: 27 February, 2016, 10:41:28 am »
You realise that no one under 30 could have seen the Live Aid concert.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #165 on: 27 February, 2016, 01:29:26 pm »
It's when the newsreaders say "you won't remember this unless you're of XXXX age", and these days more often than not I CAN remember it.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #166 on: 27 February, 2016, 09:43:46 pm »
That's ok.  It's when you're the requisite age and you CAN'T remember it that you've, that you've...... Hell, I've forgotten what I was going to say.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #167 on: 12 March, 2016, 10:38:51 am »
got to the shops today, did all the market bit, went to lock the bike up at Waitrose, no lock  :facepalm:

Luckily Ely is not a hotbed of crime
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #168 on: 14 March, 2016, 11:39:28 pm »
You realise that no one under 30 could have seen the Live Aid concert.
You realise how much the world has changed since you missed even knowing of the existence of the Band Aid single until after Christmas, due to being in the wrong country until then. Internet? What's that? Even to make a phone call home I had to go somewhere with international payphones, with a human being in charge.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

fuzzy

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #169 on: 15 March, 2016, 01:45:38 pm »
....at room temperature, your testicles hang lower than the tip of your flaccid penis.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #170 on: 15 March, 2016, 01:52:18 pm »
You start looking at expensive kindling with 12 strings and thinking "must get one of those again, maybe my fingers'll loosen up".
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #171 on: 15 March, 2016, 02:51:56 pm »
One's travel insurance excludes one from wintersports activity because one is too old. (Blimey.)
Rust never sleeps

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #172 on: 15 March, 2016, 08:50:12 pm »
My (younger) sister's fifth daughter is pregnant...

Morat

  • I tried to HTFU but something went ping :(
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #173 on: 21 March, 2016, 06:21:54 pm »
When your assistant at work points at the fax machine lurking at the back of a cupboard and asks "What's that?" and it turns out that she has never even heard of a fax machine let alone any clue as to why they might have been useful, back in some dark time before universal Internet access and smart phones.

10 minutes later she got it completely in a "guess that's never coming up in the exam" way so common with yoof.
Everyone's favourite windbreak

Morat

  • I tried to HTFU but something went ping :(
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #174 on: 21 March, 2016, 06:24:47 pm »
when you post on the "You know you're middle aged when thread " and immediately think you'd better check all 7 pages to make sure you haven't been repeating yourself....
Everyone's favourite windbreak