Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: madcow on 03 May, 2018, 10:33:35 pm

Title: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: madcow on 03 May, 2018, 10:33:35 pm
Apropos the “Band names that etc. “ thread- Driving up the A17 today ,I had a brilliant idea for a TV drama series that will never get made- “ Swineshead Revisited” .
There must be others in a similar vein.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jaded on 03 May, 2018, 10:53:52 pm
The Spy at Night
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: ElyDave on 03 May, 2018, 11:11:26 pm
One foot in the gravy
Country Flies
People you live in the same street as, but don't really talk to other than to say "Hi" as they get out of their car
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Basil on 03 May, 2018, 11:27:32 pm
Ooh Look these people are crass and poor.  Aren't they idiots? 
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Kim on 03 May, 2018, 11:57:17 pm
Ooh Look these people are crass and poor.  Aren't they idiots?

Objection: That's the one that keeps getting past the commissioning desk when we really wish it wouldn't.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 04 May, 2018, 12:01:37 am
Humidors Under The Hammer
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 04 May, 2018, 12:04:10 am
North Enders - a soap opera set in between central Portsmouth and Hilsea...
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Torslanda on 04 May, 2018, 12:58:00 am
Comedy driving school and 'Oh! That's NOT the gearstick, Miss Brown!' innuendo.

Are You Being Swerved?
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 04 May, 2018, 01:54:00 am
Mastermined - where explosive ordnance disposal is the name of the game.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 May, 2018, 06:19:17 am
Stash In The Attic - stoners talk about where they keep their supply so the pigs can't find it, man.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 May, 2018, 06:23:14 am
The Jeremy Hunt Show - frighteningly low-class people with bad teeth argue about whose turn it is to take the kids to rehab while Jeremy taunts them with six month waiting lists.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Polar Bear on 04 May, 2018, 07:44:04 am
The Three R's

A documentary detailing over a number of episodes the extraordinary lengths that the government will go to to ensure that the plebs are not properly educated thus allowing the spawn of middle and privilege class Britain to run amok in spite of them being rather challenged in the grey cell area.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jaded on 04 May, 2018, 07:47:10 am
The Apprenticiser

14 wannabe vigilantes are taken through a ten week journey to find the next Edward Woodward.

Expect thrills, blood spills and inventive ways to kill with braces, bras and pointed shoes.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: T42 on 04 May, 2018, 08:22:46 am
The Sty at Night - a late-night review of the day's happenings in Westminster

Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 May, 2018, 10:39:03 am
TЯumpton: an everyday story of mobsters, lawyers, pr0n stars, lawyers, special investigators, lawyers, incompetence, lawyers, lies, lawyers and Twitter.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Canardly on 04 May, 2018, 11:17:10 am
Goodbye Goodbye: a programme set in a coverted Norfolk hotel stable. Brexiteer politicians with bad accents review the promises they made but didn't keep, whilst drinking wine and eating cheese the rest of us can no longer afford.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Basil on 04 May, 2018, 11:46:02 am
PULL!
A dating game based at a clay pigeon shooting club.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: fuzzy on 08 May, 2018, 11:49:03 am
The Thin Blue Lino
Tales from the police station canteen.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: cygnet on 08 May, 2018, 01:01:57 pm
Obli-Partridge:
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr05/30/10/enhanced-buzz-orig-14319-1388416085-25.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)

and the rest: https://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewtucker/alan-partridge-tv-shows-that-ought-to-exist-by-now?utm_term=.qmxMNEARK#.luV41x5L7 (https://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewtucker/alan-partridge-tv-shows-that-ought-to-exist-by-now?utm_term=.qmxMNEARK#.luV41x5L7)
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 08 May, 2018, 01:26:17 pm
One Foot In the Gravel - a cycling travelogue based on the Sustrans network.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jaded on 08 May, 2018, 01:46:38 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Beardy on 08 May, 2018, 01:57:33 pm
One Foot In the Gravel - a cycling travelogue based on the Sustrans network.
Surely that's a documentary on Speedway, Cycle or otherwise :)
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Redlight on 08 May, 2018, 04:06:06 pm
Last of the Summer Whine -  a bunch of England cricket fans sit around discussing the previous season's performance
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 May, 2018, 04:25:44 pm
Top Gear - a programme devoted to testing expensive recreational drugs, acting like arses while on them and inviting ex-cons to be the "Lag on the Reasonably-Priced Skag".
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 08 May, 2018, 04:27:37 pm
Pointless Celebrities - no further explanation needed.

Though I suspect that many a listgram* on Channel 5 has already filled the remit.


* The TV equivalent of a listicle (http://listicle).
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 May, 2018, 06:58:47 pm
The Only Way Is East Sussex - lightly fictionalised documentary about the private lives of care home residents, bowls players, Rover drivers and an outrageously gay couple from Brighton.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: T42 on 09 May, 2018, 07:25:52 am
Eurovision Schlong Contest
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Efrogwr on 09 May, 2018, 12:57:35 pm
Big Brothel.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 May, 2018, 01:26:23 pm
Gogglebooks - reality TV of people reading.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: mattc on 09 May, 2018, 03:14:14 pm
One Foot In the Gravel - a cycling travelogue based on the Sustrans network.
+1  ;D

What I like about this is not only the satirical comment on Sustrans surfaces, but the sinister suggestion that using them gets you a little bit closer to your maker.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: spesh on 15 May, 2018, 11:37:04 pm
One Foot In the Gravel - a cycling travelogue based on the Sustrans network.
Surely that's a documentary on Speedway, Cycle or otherwise :)

You're thinking of the Shale & Pace show.

That's my leather jacket with the kidney protectors right there, ayethangewe...
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Efrogwr on 16 May, 2018, 07:17:07 pm
Strictly Come Dowsing.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: fuzzy on 18 May, 2018, 10:22:19 am
A Place In The Slum- Property experts help homeowners wanting to experience the 'grittier' side of life.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 May, 2018, 02:45:25 pm
Salvage Munters.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Redlight on 18 May, 2018, 03:59:20 pm
The Muppet Show - live streaming of Cabinet meetings
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 May, 2018, 11:07:28 am
Doctor Fister

I think I've just killed this thread  ;D
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Torslanda on 19 May, 2018, 08:10:05 pm
Nope. You just confirmed you have a mind like a sewer . . .
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jakob W on 19 May, 2018, 08:18:32 pm
The title's a little ambiguous - would the doctor be the fister, or, er, the fistee?
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: T42 on 20 May, 2018, 09:30:40 am
Who is the potter, pray, and who the pot?
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jaded on 22 May, 2018, 11:42:48 pm
A Very English Patient.

A series of flashbacks over 30 years show a distinguished gentleman in North Africa negotiating his way through Juliette Binoche, Kristen Scott Thomas and all her sisters, whilst he waits for Gay Marriage to be legalised in the U.K.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: yoav on 23 May, 2018, 10:12:06 pm
Christmas sporting quiz: A question of sprout.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: T42 on 24 May, 2018, 09:58:19 am
A weekly review for gravel bikers: Skidmarks
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: fuzzy on 25 May, 2018, 11:07:24 am
A televisual iteration of the "Grumble Thread- No energy for a full on rant" Thread-

Qi- Quite Irritated
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: LEE on 25 May, 2018, 11:09:44 am
Mrs Brown's Boys

What's that you say?   They actually commissioned it?
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Pedaldog. on 25 May, 2018, 11:02:54 pm
A docudrama about those who voted to leave the EU.      "Fantasy Islanders"
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: izza on 26 May, 2018, 10:10:30 am
I did some stunt driving on a film called Two Men Went to War.

Great film. Ealing comedy but based on a true story.

Could have been a change of career for me but was released the same week as another UK film - Harry Potter.

Am still stuck in the day job.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 May, 2018, 10:48:20 am
Embarrassing Boddies

People doing daft stuff like falling into canals, hugging traffic cones and ordering chicken phal they'll never be able to eat while blitzed on the eponymous and now defunct Manchester beer.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Torslanda on 26 May, 2018, 12:49:10 pm
I did some stunt driving on a film called Two Men Went to War.

Great film. Ealing comedy but based on a true story.

Could have been a change of career for me but was released the same week as another UK film - Harry Potter.

Am still stuck in the day job.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks. I'll look that up on Netflix or Kodi.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: izza on 26 May, 2018, 05:01:07 pm
I did some stunt driving on a film called Two Men Went to War.

Great film. Ealing comedy but based on a true story.

Could have been a change of career for me but was released the same week as another UK film - Harry Potter.

Am still stuck in the day job.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks. I'll look that up on Netflix or Kodi.
You’ll need the DVD. Most of my driving was in the deleted scenes.

However, if you see the scene where the young hero apparently gets shot. That’s me firing the gun.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Torslanda on 26 May, 2018, 09:58:11 pm
Yup. Gonna need the DVD. We have Netflix, Kodi, Amazon Prime.

Not on any of them.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Jaded on 26 May, 2018, 10:27:02 pm
Yup. Gonna need the DVD. We have Netflix, Kodi, Amazon Prime.

Not on any of them.

iTunes. It's on there.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Legs on 29 May, 2018, 08:47:56 pm
WatchSpring - Michaela Strachan disassembles viewers' timepieces.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Canardly on 24 June, 2018, 06:02:54 pm
A docudrama about those who voted to leave the EU.      "Fantasy Islanders"
Otherwise known as 'Silence of the Sheep'
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: LEE on 24 June, 2018, 06:16:04 pm
Great Anal Journeys - With Timothy West & Prunella Scales.
Title: Re: Film and TV shows that never got past the commissioning desk
Post by: Beardy on 24 June, 2018, 08:51:28 pm
Foxtrot Oscar - a gritty police drama about a female police inspector in Soho