Sh!te courier thread

[Robert S. Thorn]

Parcel Force are exceptionally incompetent in my experience.  I think that I'll have to ask suppliers to use My Hermes as they seem to be the best of the bunch round here.

[hellymedic]

I suspect Jason might be better-paid for a timed Fruit Thing than untimed cat litter. Fruit Thing might just arrive within the slot.

Jason spends AGES round Camrose Avenue!

ETA Jason delivered Fruit at 15.28. Fruit delivery did not seem to interrupt the conversation he was having into his brick-sized phone.

Jason's van and polo shirt were pale blue, in DPD livery.

I was expecting red.

[jsabine]

Blue is DPD Local, formerly known as Interlink Express.

[hellymedic]

Which explains why it's been Jason at least twice and his TINY patch...

I have not tracked him outside HA8.

[ian]

Today was a bit special. There's a note on my door that says 'please knock, if no reply please put parcels under the box behind the porch.'

I don't think these are especially difficult to follow instructions. Except he (a) didn't knock, otherwise I'd have heard him and (b) I wouldn't have found a pile of parcels on the front step with the box from behind the porch balanced on top of them. The wrong way up.

[pcolbeck]

Heremes, its always Hermes. Just looked at the tracking site and they say they attempted to deliver my package 5 minutes ago and will now try again in 24 hours. No they bloody didn't. I've been sat here waiting and in fact too delivery of something else from UK Mail ten minutes ago. Mo card and no dog going mad because some ones in the drive. They just haven't been at all
Luckily it was a non urgent parcel..

[essexian]

DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.

[essexian]

DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.

Just to update this...the item had not arrived by Friday so I emailed the seller, a large online retailer twice and was ignored twice. So, as I had paid via Paypal I contacted them for a refund. The seller spring into action and tracked the item... well claimed to have spoken to the parcel company who said that they had never received the item despite there being a tracking record of them doing so.

So, lost parcel...would I like another one?

My reply was a no. Frankly, why should I trust the company again, especially when the lost item was.... a 3m long piece of carpet...... got to say, that takes some losing! 

[rogerzilla]

UPS (which I think stands for Utter Pile of Shite).

Went through tortuous online process on Monday to change delivery date to today.  They even wrote to me via snail mail to give me activation details (although the site seems to work anyway).  No package, turns out they delivered it to a not-very local shop on Tuesday and ignored the instructions.

Ordure-liveried American incompetents.

[Kim]

Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.

[Kim]

Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.

SJS got a surprisingly prompt answer from Parcelfarce, and the parcel turned out to be at no. n-7 (several houses down on the other side of the road).

[Jaded]

Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.

[Kim]

Anything that involves removing your trousers is bound to make the courier turn up.  It's like rain and barbecues.

[Peter]

Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.

And it's not even a leap year.

[Jaded]

 

[mcshroom]

Hermes' latest version of "delivered" today involved shoving my parcel under the windward side of my car bumper in the rain. It's a good job neither item inside was sensitive to being soaked!

[Kim]

I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports.

[Mr Larrington]

I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports.

It arrived in the end, possibly because DHL decided to pull their collective finger out on hearing that there was a CNN crew at the event^*.  They finally managed to get it on a "special" flight to Reno, where the team found it had been given a thoroughly good kicking in transit, requiring an all-nighter by a Several of fettlers to get back into something akin to the shape it had been when it left the UK.

* Not a news crew, mind, but no-one was going to tell that to the lying workshy twats at DHL.

[Beardy]

DPD, can you tell me what is the point of having an app on my phone that informs me 'my' driver is Dave and he will deliver between 11:23 and 12:23 . Then for that same app to inform me at 12:20 that Dave is 30 minutes away. Only for me to check the app on the no show of Dave at 13:00 only for that very same app to inform me that I am the next of Dave’s deliveries and he will deliver in 1:33 minutes. Oh, and the little icon that represents Dave on the little map seems to be in Norwich, so that at least is consistent with the latest time update.

It’s just as well I’ve not made plans especially to be in over lunch time to receive the parcel. You shower of incompetent shits.

And now their app,is telling me that my parcel was refused! No it fucking well wasn’t. When your driver was supposed to be delivering it according to his schedule, he was in actual fact in Norwich 60 miles away. 

[hellymedic]

I think know DPD drivers seem very 'creative' with their delivery data.

Bad luck Beardy!

[Beardy]

I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.

[Feanor]

I have a not-crap story...

My lunchtime ride yesterday was plagued by multiple p*nctures for reasons I don't need to go into here.
My companion set off back to work, to collect a car to rescue me.

In the meantime, as I was waiting around, a DPD van pulled up and asked if I was OK, and offered to take me pretty much anywhere.
The driver was, of course, a cyclist.

So if your DPD delivery is running late, perhaps the driver is doing a bit of off-piste cyclist recovery...

[hellymedic]

I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.

[OT for this thread]
Big Businesses seem to have strange databases.

I pay my electricity bill by Bank Transfer when I receive a paper bill. (I like to have a paper Proof of Address.)
My bank will not accept the sort code the electricity company gives me and automagically 'corrects' the details I attempt to enter.

The money seems to go to the right place and I've not been disconnected yet.
But it seems impossible to enter the 'right' details!

[ian]

Three little letters. S. A. P.

[Legs]

Postie,

When you deliver my Bluetooth speaker prize (did I mention that I won PopMaster on Friday?) it would be useful if you actually came to the door, rather than just leaving a missed delivery note in the letterbox.  My wife was in the kitchen.  Was it just that you couldn't be bothered to carry it?

kthanxbai