Author Topic: Darwin Awards  (Read 43358 times)

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #200 on: 21 February, 2021, 03:54:13 pm »
He was bang out of order.

I may be a couple of weeks late, but I appreciate it!
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #201 on: 01 March, 2021, 08:46:42 am »
A valiant attempt, but no trophy:
Family found camping on 'dangerous' cliff edge in North Yorkshire
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-56232546
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #202 on: 01 March, 2021, 09:00:00 am »
Weedkiller and sugar mix, newspaper soaked in it and dried out.

A bucketful makes a fantasctic smokescreen, enough to cover one of the largest buildings in town  ;D

At school we had a pair of identical twins, very hard to tell one from t'other.

The one of them made a pipe-bomb using sugar and weedkiller after which provided we could see his right forefinger we always knew which twin it was.
Move Faster and Bake Things

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #203 on: 01 March, 2021, 09:15:26 am »
A valiant attempt, but no trophy:
Family found camping on 'dangerous' cliff edge in North Yorkshire
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-56232546

Quote
They were found in a tent in an area known for landslips


If someone deserves a Darwin Award here, it's probably the farmer who works so close to the edge with a many-tons tractor rather than a family in a lightweight tent.

A

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #204 on: 02 March, 2021, 03:15:30 am »
When I was a pre-spotty person, I lived in Malaya (as was) and Singapore. Various Chinese festivities are enlivened by pyrotechnic devices, some of them amazingly elaborate, but many consisting simply of chains of paired red=paper=wrapped bangers of various kinds.

Once the locals had had their fun, we would descend on the swathes of shredded red paper and comb through them. There were always unsploded splodies, and we would gather them for fun and hearing loss (I found out quite early why fuses are longer than the one I lit and then threw not quite far enough away so avoid ringing ears)

One of the potentially lethal things we did was to set the little bastards off in enclosed spaces. My own first attempt was to put a small plastic bucket over one, with the fuse sticking out under its rim. The resulting explosion sent the bucket some ten feet into the air. Our ultimate experiment, until my fayher found us at it and took away our implement, involved a broken toy go-cart.

If you G**gle Weyhill Close in Singapore, my old house is stull there (on the north side of the close, a wire mesh gate with a red post box on it and two plastic waste bins outside it; my bedroom was the first floor balcony you can see) you may note there is a steep little slope down from the lane to the main road. We spent a lot of time eroding the grass by sliding down there on sheets of cardboard, but one oik of the neighbourhood obtained said four-wheeled device. He used it on the slope, naturally, and managed to snap it in half. I believe it resulted in a trip to the Alexandra Hospital. I would be there later for one of my intersex surgeries.

We recovered the remnants of the go-cart, saw that we had two open ends of tube mounted on two wheels, and the obvious idea of mobile artillery came to us. Get a ball of stony mud ready. wedge it in on top of a banger with  the fuse protruding, and train the artillery on one of the large sheets of cardboard placed before a tree. Light fuse. Do not retire.

I am astonished that I managed to retain all digits and appendages.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Jayjay

  • Layin' back a bit these days.
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #205 on: 22 March, 2021, 09:24:26 pm »
Someone managed to leave an aerosol can in the garden incinerator, which was a steel 45gal. drum. Apparently the effect was to eject the blazing contents in spectacular fashion. No Darwin award qualifiers involved though.


Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #208 on: 08 June, 2023, 11:34:50 am »
One day I expect our neighbour to join the club...  She's about 80.

We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #209 on: 08 June, 2023, 02:08:49 pm »
One day I expect our neighbour to join the club...  She's about 80.


That's the sort of thing my Mum would be doing.
She's 87 and currently (for her own good) in a care home.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #210 on: 08 June, 2023, 02:09:07 pm »
If she has had children she will not be allowed in.
It is simpler than it looks.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #211 on: 08 June, 2023, 02:52:57 pm »
I confiscated my Dad's ladders when he was of a similar vintage.

 
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #212 on: 08 June, 2023, 03:21:15 pm »
Dad also ineligible as he has 3 great grandchildren.
Before he moved into a bungalow he insisted on cleaning out the gutters on the old house amongst other things, which entailed lugging the very heavy two piece wooden ladders from his garage round the corner.
His neighbour at the time said to my wife (who was a work colleague of hers) 'I never want to see or hear of Mr Jenkins going up a ladder again'
We did contemplate buying him a shorter aluminium set once he was in the bungalow but the thought did occur of what we might be asked at an inquest ('So please explain to the court, Mr Jenkins, what made you think that buying a ladder for your 90 year old father was a good idea?).
He's 94 now and still plays tennis, I don't think I'm going to be able to stop him doing anything that he is confident to do.

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #213 on: 09 June, 2023, 05:53:26 pm »
94 and still playing tennis is pretty good going.
At some point I confiscated Mum's Prius as every time she went out in it, there would be fresh damage.
The plan was that I would  chauffeur her to church on a Sunday and, while she prayed for lower prices, I would go and do my Sainos shop.
This event took place all of once, before someone got it into their heads to thieve the catalytic converter from it.
We replaced the converter on the insurance and sold it to an Uber driver to put some more dents in it.

Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #214 on: 09 June, 2023, 07:31:00 pm »
Dad does still drive but has set his own limits; not at night or very poor visibility and very little longer distances. I live locally but my siblings are mostly 50 miles away; they come and visit him regularly now rather than vice-versa., if he is going to stop overnight at theirs one of them comes and picks him up and returns. If I was able to drive (can't: medical disqualification) I would pitch in a bit more.