The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Ham]

Ah, glasshopper, to become one with div-inity you must emblace the core of the div.

<checks thread season ticket, still valid>

I'm making some industrial style brackets for Miss Ham's home. They are for the bathroom, they want two short shelves from scaffold plank fixed to t'wall. My design, such as it is, is made out of 40mmx3mm mild steel strip. Two straps, drilled for dome head screws to fix to the wall. A piece of steel attached to the strap at 90deg with a little lip at the end. Not much strength in that alone, but a hidden screw through the back of the strap, and one up through the bracket should actually brace it sufficiently. If that isn't enough, a strut from 10mm rod will.

Anyhow, it's really a very simple design, so no need to draw up plans. I know the depth of the board is 225mm so if I cut the steel 225, and I drill the fixing holes to accommodate the tiles 10cm depth what can go wrong.

Nothing with cutting and drilling the wall plates.

Nothing with fixing the 90 degree 225mm steel supports

Now, I have 4 (count 'em) small pieces of steel to weld on the ends.

The first one, I manage to weld one up, and one down. Oh well, cut another, weld on and cut the wrong one off.

Weld the second.

Realise that I've welded inside the 225mm rather than on the end. Oh well, that means I'll have to cut a 3mm recess in the the board, that actually makes it all a better fit, nowhere for things to slip down the back.

All done, then? Good

(click to show/hide)

If you're struggling to understand, look at the ends, they should all be pointing the same way up.

And to be clear, I realised my mistake and fixed the first one before fsck-ing the second.

[robgul]

How long is the piece of scaffold board (i.e. width of shelf)? - will the board supports take the weight without bending?

[Ham]

The shelf will be 45 cm wide, I'm going to mount to a board to test. I imagine a fixing will be needed above the bottom shelf to stop the wall strap being pulled away by the torque. Some kind of brace may be needed, a 25mm 45 deg fillet would likely be enough, or, as above, a longer brace. The length of the shelf support is for appearances, not strength. Finish is likely to be smooth black hammerite, as I don't think lacquer/varnish will cut it in the bathroom, which gives me some latitude with the finish. Just as well as it looks like I'm going to be grinding off quite a bit here and there.....

[Ashaman42]

Oh bugger, damn, and blast!

I knocked my bike over whilst cleaning it and it hit the brick wall on the way down and took a big chunk out of the leather saddle.

Boo!!

[trickedem]

I have been moving a hot water pipe. I was so pleased with my neat soldering. However when I turned the water on, nothing was coming through.  I then managed to convince myself that the problem was likely to be the pipe I had bent and it had become crushed. So I set about cutting out all my good work from the day before that involved 4 soldered joints only to find the pipe was absolutely fine.  A little bit of further investigation with a spanner revealed that some brick debris had got lodged in the isolation valve near the tap    I then had to spend another 3 hours replacing all the pipework I had cut out earlier.  I expect this is one of the first lessons they give at plumbing school.

[Ham]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

[nuttycyclist]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

I applaud you Sir!   I used to have the crown of fettling eejit on here, but I gladly hand it over.   

I was amazed at how much water a fire extinguisher held (I was only emptying it as I wanted to cut it up to weld and create an artistic masterpiece).       That item has had positive feedback, and I want to make another... but I haven't yet dared to empty the powder extinguisher.

[SteveC]

A long, long time ago, I had a summer job at the research lab where my dad worked. As there were about half a dozen students like me there that year, they did some training, including letting off fire extinguishers. As you say, there's a lot of powder in the powder ones and there's a lot of water in the water ones. The CO2 ones make a hell of a racket.

I'm sure I learned other things while I was there, but that's about all I remember.

[Kim]

"Don't be on fire"?

[nuttycyclist]

I still remember a late session in my fire-marshal training.   The fire brigade set fire to a large gas cylinder and asked us to resolve the issue.

Much conflaburation in the group in front of me as to whether it was powder or foam or CO2.....     during which time a fireman gave up and casually walked up to the cylinder and turned the valve off to remove the fuel supply.

[Jurek]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

[Ham]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.

[Beardy]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.

I dear old Granny would happily point out that these things usually come in threes. Just thought I should warn you.

[ravenbait]

Building a wheel yesterday, and was well pleased with myself for it being almost entirely true and round having done little more than tighten up the spokes. Then I checked the dishing.

Then I spent hours bruising my thumb to a chorus of ever-more alarming pings and scroinks trying to fix it.

Then I realised I had been consistently loosening and tightening the wrong sides for what I wanted to achieve.

Idiot.

Sam

[spesh]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

Time to steer clear of sharp objects...

My conclusion, too.

Those flames things?? They're scary. And fast. And smelly. And smoky. I think I'd become a little blase about welding around a load of highly flammable stuff.

I dear old Granny would happily point out that these things usually come in threes. Just thought I should warn you.

<Fate shaves a smidgen more off his dice> 

[rogerzilla]

I bought a 115mm BB because the 113mm ran the chainring a bit close to the frame.  Fitted it, and it gives exactly the same chainline.  I think removing and refitting the crank has caused it to creep up the spindle by another mm 

[mrcharly-YHT]

I have holes to drill in concrete blocks (made with Hebridean gneiss, because the manufacturers are bastards).

cordless drill won't touch it. So I pull out my old cheap mains. Needs a bit of welly.

Lean up hard against drill to get the pressure on.

OW BASTARD F*CK!

Shouldn't those wires going into the drill have insulation covering them? The live and neutral wires that I just pressed into my chest?

[andytheflyer]

Treat that Lewisian Gneiss with respect pls, it's quite old you know. In fact, at least 1.7 Billion yo. It deserves our respect.  I spent a lot of time on the Hebrides as a geology student. Some of the best days of my life.

The Earth belongs unto the Lord
And all that it contains
Except for the Hebrides
And they belong MacBraynes.

[Ham]

You might ask, how could I top that earlier performance?

That's easy. Setting the shed on fire while welding, that's how. Fortuitously I have an extinguisher to hand, so aside from a bit of a shock, not much damage done, but that powder stuff don' arf make a mess.

Ho hum. I've almost finished. Anything more can go wrong?

So, bearing in mind I had to finish these, what additional divinity could I fit in?

Well, first off, I moved the welding outside, it seemed a little safer. Of course, mig welding outside is challenging because of the wind. I looked at the first couple of beads and though "Crikey, that really does look as if the wind is blowing the gas away" So I tried to get closer and shield it a little more. Still a crap weld. Ah. Maybe if I turn the gas on ..... 

I'd sliced off all the bracket ends, what with them all being 3mm short from having been welded on the inside, and of course on two of them, you guessed it, I welded them back uʍop ǝpᴉsdn

I've finished them now.

(click to show/hide)

[rogerzilla]

Saved £notverymuch by buying a "new other" Brompton gear cable from eBay.  Totally useless as the end of the inner wire had, of course, been crushed, making it impossible to thread through the shifter.  And you can't shorten them.  Oh well, I have a nice outer.

[nicknack]

Yet another one.
I know it's a couple of hours since I prepared the pizzas including chopped chillies and I've washed my hands a number of times since then, but it's still a little unwise to vigorously rub my eyes with said hands.

[chrisbainbridge]

Put the new super compact chain rings on, reassembled the cranks the. Looked at it, thought the FD would not come low enough - so disassembled it all and put the original chainrings back on. Then realised they were oval and I was measuring at the wrong point! 

So disassembled, and put the new rings on. It worked perfectly.

[Beardy]

I do love a bit of marketing speak, even when it really doesn’t make any sense. I mean, in what way are ‘compact chain rings’ not just smaller rings ? 

[chrisbainbridge]

I agree, I put on the really small chainrings.

Then I forgot to switch off the heater on the Ultrasonic bath, so I opened the garage door today to a pungent odour and a sludge at the bottom!

[grams]

It's best to check the carafe is in the coffee maker before you switch it on and walk away.