The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[librarian]

Bad cat. Again. Her latest attempt at flight resulted in a nice tendon-deep gash on her back leg (the blood everywhere is another grumble). Now she's supposed to wear a collar to stop her picking at the stitches. That's not working out. Her attempts to remove said collar have included:

• pushing head into collection of wires behind computer before yowling and pulling everything out
• pushing head into collection of wires behind TV before yowling and pulling everything out
• wedging head between chair back and dining table and then flinging her body off the side before yowling loudly for rescue
• running backwards around and around the living room / bed room / bathroom / hallway dragging said collar along walls and floors while yowling
• attempting to reverse downstairs in the hope that the steps will pull it free with predictable bump bump bump yowl results
• generally knocking everything over, she clambered on a kitchen counter and went through everything like a feline snow plough. While yowling

Anyway, she's going to kill herself so I took it off (according the German locum vet we saw yesterday that 'was very unauthorised') so now I'm supposed to sit around and supervise her otherwise I expect a knock on the door from the very stern teutonic vet. And no, cat, you're not going outside (the rain, at least, is conspiring to dissuade her). Also those collars. Seriously, the fastening, did anyone involved in the design of such thing contemplate that threading an awkward strip of plastic through several slots while holding a wriggly creature that is 90% bitey scratchy is a bit difficult? Surely some kind of stud fastening would have been a million times easier.

Also, in no particular order, I'm having to drink black coffee because my antibiotics are the 'no milk' ones and I don't like black coffee. I'd put in some almond milk but hey, it's full of calcium too. Three fucking weeks of dodging dairy twice a day. It's probably marginally better than fighting off the navigationally-challenged abdominal narwhal and the evil testicle imp and his pointy stick of pain.

In-laws, you wish to attend a concert in London on Tuesday night. Come and stay Tuesday night. Why do you need to arrive Monday morning (because you 'don't want to drive and go out on the same day')? You were here a week ago. Oh and wife, don't do the old 'well, I'll tell them not to come if you...' because you're as annoyed as I am.

Other cat. It's raining. I know. It's not something I can control so stop looking at me like it's my fault you won't go outside.