Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 July, 2014, 03:37:41 pm

Title: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 July, 2014, 03:37:41 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 11 July, 2014, 04:46:43 pm
This could be a monster thread!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 11 July, 2014, 05:11:11 pm
I think couriers deliberately hold stuff back if the rate is economy.  Otherwise why would people pay more?

And no, you ain't gonna get Royal Mail back as the govt sold it off cheap to their friends.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 July, 2014, 06:01:37 pm
Yodel have lost/stolen/donegodknows what to a cat carrier and a cat flap that were supposed to arrive on Monday.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on 11 July, 2014, 06:02:33 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.

You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: interzen on 11 July, 2014, 06:28:02 pm
You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
Having the driver make at least a token attempt to deliver rather than shoving a card through the door and pissing off would be a good start.

OK, so that's not what's happening in this case but it's depressingly common. And probably why it's cheap.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on 11 July, 2014, 06:42:17 pm
As you said, it's cheap.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 July, 2014, 09:13:05 pm
My new Babbage-Engine arrived at 09:15 today.

As promised.

Via Yodel.

Should I be disappointed not to have something to rant about ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 11 July, 2014, 09:20:21 pm
My new Babbage-Engine arrived at 09:15 today.

As promised.

Via Yodel.

Should I be disappointed not to have something to rant about ;D

Well, your adoring fans are disappointed you have nothing to rant about!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: interzen on 11 July, 2014, 09:45:29 pm
Yodel definitely appear to have upped their game of late - myhermes seem to be the whipping boys du jour.

I still die a little inside when I see that something is being dispatched by City Link though - their drivers obviously can't manage stairs given that they tend to dump stuff delivered to work in the lobby and then bugger off.

Apropos of this, a while ago I emailed a certain river-themed tax-dodging organisation asking why they didn't give their customers a choice of courier given that Yodel were being spectacularly crap at the time. Their answer was that it was 'technically unfeasible' ::-) Funny that a two-man operation that I order backpacking gear from can manage exactly that and they don't have a global workforce of thousands with a CEO who looks like Dr. Evil.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 12 July, 2014, 03:37:19 pm
Having the driver make at least a token attempt to deliver rather than shoving a card through the door and pissing off would be a good start.
Being a postman, you'd be surprised how often we get accused of not ringing/knocking, when we know we have - at least twice before carding them. I even had one woman berate me and when I told her I had rung the bell, she said there were no batteries in it  :facepalm: That's when it's time to walk away...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 July, 2014, 05:45:18 pm
Yodel man knocked on my door yesterday even though i have a doorbell.  I don't know if he tried the bell first.  I put new flatteries in it shortly after being released from the Gulag, but it seems they have the life-span of an adult mayfly.  I may have to seek an alternative.

Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) claims the flatteries in his doorbell were bought from a passing Tasmanian tiger or something, but I suspect he is mistaken.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 July, 2014, 10:08:14 pm
Quote
11/07/2014   06:13   Hub Trailer Via Sorter          
10/07/2014   16:19   Sent to myhermes central hub          
09/07/2014   15:55   Customer Sent via ParcelShop

Two days to get to your 'central hub'. It's an effing book in a jiffybag.

Come back, Royal Mail, all is forgiven.

You are paying for a cheap, trackable, insured 2 to 4 day service. What else are you expecting?
£5 for a book. Dearer than Royal Mail. Who would have delivered it by now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on 15 July, 2014, 06:33:07 pm
I've just had an attempted delivery by Parcelforce.

I heard a knock on the door and I got up off the chair and went downstairs (took less than 10 seconds), nobody at the door so closed it.

Then he shoved a card through the letterbox, I opened the door and see him walking away, said left with neighbour.

Do they expect you to stand by the door all fucking day? >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 15 July, 2014, 09:50:22 pm
Received a Big Box from Planet X on Monday (top marks to Yodel, who tried to deliver to an obviously work address on Saturday).

Open the box, to find it contains the Wrong Rim. Go through Planet X's return procedure, and take Big Box to nearby corner shop, a franchisee of Collect +, who are Planet X's chosen method of getting stuff back. Except they won't take the box as it's too big.  Some confusion over whether it was too big for Collect +, or too big for the nearby corner shop.

Ah well.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Plug1n on 15 July, 2014, 11:03:24 pm
DPD event log for a new Ixon Premium from bike-discount.de:

Date & Time   Location   Description
15 Jul 2014 00:49   Dunstable   Your parcel is being held in our DPD Dunstable depot
14 Jul 2014 08:01   Dunstable   Your parcel will be with you today
14 Jul 2014 06:05   Dunstable   Your parcel is with your nearest delivery depot in Dunstable
12 Jul 2014 10:46   DPD Consumer   As requested, your parcel will now be delivered on Fri 18 July 2014
11 Jul 2014 19:59   Hub 3 - Birmingham   We have your parcel, and it's on its way to your nearest depot in Dunstable

Will I see it on the 18th when I will be home all day?

I also got a text on the 14th saying "Mitchell will deliver today between 12:32 and 13:32"

Earlier on it spent a couple of days "consolidating" somewhere in Germany - probably watching the fussball.
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 August, 2014, 09:28:55 pm
"Amazon Logistics".  I was up and around at 10:15 this morning, so if your useless workshy twat of a delivery operative had bothered to knock on my front door, s/he could have handed me my package and received a heartfelt thank-you and a cheerful smile in return.  But s/he didn't knock on the door, at least with anything more substantial than a feather duster, because s/he is a useless workshy twat.

Moreover, had your useless workshy twat of a delivery operative bothered to shove a card through the door to tell me that it had been left four doors down, I wouldn't have had as much cause to send you that grinky Babbage-Post.  But the useless workshy twat of a delivery operative didn't bother with anything as complicated as that, due to being a useless workshy twat.  Fortuitously I checked the Babbage-Post address I use for Nozama orders (and read on average once a year), but you still got grinked, because I didn't do so until later.  Call me a useless workshy twat if you will, provided you would like a side order of white phosphorus with your dinner.

And the contents of the package?

A doorbell :-\

Useless workshy twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: vorsprung on 05 August, 2014, 08:08:49 pm
In the past Yodel have committed various acts of madness delivering stuff to me here in Devon.  There used to be a city link depot that worked well for me.  So last year when I'd sold my bike frame to a yacfer up north I picked city link.

They picked it up ok.  A couple of days later I got a phone call from a random stranger.  Hello said he, in quite a gruff way, what the hell is this bike frame the delivery people have left with me.  They say it's for my neighbours but the address isn't anywhere near here.  Oh dear I reply.  I'll see what I can do.

The yacfer got a call and fortunately was able to retrieve his frame

So City link can deliver.  To the correct town.  But to a neighbour of someone in an incorrect street that sounds a bit like the target
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Euan Uzami on 05 August, 2014, 09:11:26 pm
ParcelMonkey - a system design question:
If CityLink's "message to driver" field can only take a pointlessly short 20 characters, do you

a) Hassle them and ask why their field only allows an idiotically short message
b) Say, 'oh well', and restrict your own user interface field to that amount of characters and throw an error if they enter more
c) Simply truncate the entered message to the required length! ;D

"Err........................is it..............C"?
NO!!!! the correct answer is *anything BUT frigging C* !!!  >:( >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on 06 August, 2014, 02:43:13 pm
I keep reading this as Shiite courier thread.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on 06 August, 2014, 02:44:30 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Euan Uzami on 06 August, 2014, 03:19:41 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Rather, the particular employees of those couriers that happen to serve your area happen to be.

You're obviously just lucky, then, basically. Especially if CityLink are excellent
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on 06 August, 2014, 03:24:15 pm
I would post in here, but all the couriers that deliver to home, for us, are excellent, even Hermes.

Sorry.
Rather, the particular employees of those couriers that happen to serve your area happen to be.

You're obviously just lucky, then, basically. Especially if CityLink are excellent

Well, yes, point taken.

Oddly enough CityLink got a whole lot better a few years ago, as the depot moved to ~8 miles from where I live, hence we were either one of the first, or one of the last deliveries of the day.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Steph on 06 August, 2014, 04:32:16 pm
I keep reading this as Shiite courier thread.
I was going to say I prefer my couriers to be sunny...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 08 August, 2014, 04:02:42 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 08 August, 2014, 05:11:29 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1

Words fail!
Retweeted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 September, 2014, 12:28:45 pm
Bonus points for the chap the other day who was in such a hurry that he couldn't wait for me to get my keys so he improvised and shoved the package through the open porch window. That's quite a drop to a concrete floor. Fortunately it wasn't fragile or a live animal. Seriously, he'd seen me and knew I was coming to open the door. Six thirty on a Friday evening, evidently he wanted to clock off.

Stealth Yodel delivery at some ungodly hour this morning. No knock and a smashed picture frame left outside the door (the fact that it sounded like a box of broken glass is a give away, unless people are in the habit of ordering smashed glass, so I presume they knew). Second attempt (the first by Hermes). We're accumulating broken glass.

Fortunately it seems to be a husband-and-wife local lot that deliver my beer. And they're great. Fortunately. Otherwise I'd drown.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on 08 September, 2014, 09:35:09 pm
https://twitter.com/benjamin1980/status/497737791166750720/photo/1

I looks like they tried to throw the parcel over the house!

I've had several Myhermes deliveries thrown over my back garden gate, landing on concrete, with one cast iron item broken into 2 pieces, although it had minimal packaging (box made from thin card, no padding).

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 September, 2014, 09:56:57 am
We don't have a Good courier thread, so this is here as an antidote: Parcel Force. Yes, Porkel Farce! 7:00 this morning I get a text, my parcel will be delivered today, reply with one of four options if this isn't ok (leave with neighbour, collect from PO, reschedule to tomorrow, reschedule to day after). 8:52 another text, 'your parcel will be delivered in the next 90 minutes'. And now, about 60 minutes later, I have shiny from CRC! Shame I forgot to get the P-clips I also need, but that's hardly Parcel Force's fault (or even CRC's).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 October, 2014, 05:45:58 pm
TNT

you lying fucking shitbags.

Item out for delivery................wait in all day....................tracking now says 'receiver not home'

I've been sat looking out of the window all fucking day for my EXPRESS delivery. It's EXPRESS because its urgent, and needed quickly.


I've just seen your advert on the tv, rather than pissing money away, lying through your fucking teeth about how great you are, the nobbers pretending to be a fucking truck should be driving a fucking van and fucking delivering.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 October, 2014, 05:51:48 pm
And when I call to see why it's not arrived, stop lying, lying, lying, then passing me around in a fucking circle.

Just tell me you haven't been able to deliver because you're wank.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 15 October, 2014, 06:13:42 pm
We gave up on picture frame number 5. That was 5/5 smashed. Two weren't a little bit smashed, it was like an elephant had pogoed on them. We'll get some glass cut for the survivors. We only wanted one slightly off-sized picture frame.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 October, 2014, 07:47:21 pm
Mine hasn't even arrived smashed :P

I've calmed down a little now, it's on an a.m.* for tomorrow. It's not even bike parts, it's needed for work. I've had to ring a customer and give them the bullshit. They probably didn't believe me, even offered them the tracking number :-\

Why don't they just say, sorry, we've not had enough time to get to you. Instead of, we've called but you couldn't be arsed to get to the door.




*it was on an a.m. for today
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 16 October, 2014, 01:13:24 pm
I hate Hermes tracking.

It does not give any information it just says "Arrive at hub" "Dispatched from hub" "At Local Depot"
I want to know where I get a sense of my package moving towards me when place names are used.
(or in the case of Yodel my parcels sometimes do a tour of Wales before they get to me)

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 16 October, 2014, 02:47:49 pm
*it was on an a.m. for today

Lying Bastards
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 October, 2014, 03:33:19 pm
Nozama!  You said the estimated delivery date for my wossname was Monday October 27th.  So how come it arrived today, eh?  EH?

DPD, you are bastards made of piss ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 21 October, 2014, 06:34:21 pm
Mr Larrington might wish to note that almost all orders I have placed with the online store of a certain Global Fruit Company, Cupertino USA, have arrived earlier than scheduled.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 October, 2014, 10:00:06 pm
The only physical object I have wanted to buy from the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia lately is one they stopped making last month >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 12 December, 2014, 09:36:43 am
Nobody saw this coming

Quote
The courier firm Yodel has stopped collecting parcels from retailers as it struggles to deal with the huge jump in online orders following the Black Friday sales

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30438498 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30438498)

I put it in here cos Yodel are generally regarded as shite anyway.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 12 December, 2014, 10:09:23 am
The peril of an unregulated system.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 12 December, 2014, 10:33:32 am
My god, people have to wait for an entire extra day for something.

These are truly the End Times. Reminds me, I have to do my Christmas shopping.

UPS couldn't find our address. There's only two bloody houses with this postcode (and on this street). Parked at the bottom of the drive, I went to the door, and he promptly drove off. Type the postcode into Google maps and there it is (even the house name appears on Google Maps, we must be special, as next door doesn't get a mention). I seem to spend as much time explaining that no, we don't have a house number, just a name as I do explaining that no, my wife has a different surname. (Oh and she's seasonally riled at the cards posted to Mr & Mrs ian.)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bikepacker on 12 December, 2014, 11:19:53 am
I live in a small community on a common, none of the 14 or so properties have a number so you may guess the fun we have watching van drivers riding around looking at property names.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 12 December, 2014, 11:28:13 am
That reminds me.

On Wednesday evening I got home from work to find two parcels dumped on my doorstep, addressed to a woman I'd never heard of, with a street name and postcode I didn't recognise. On the UPS-branded address label was a local area BT phone number, so I rang it. The woman I'd never heard ofs husband answered.

To cut a long and boring story short, when the man came to pick up the parcels he told me the UPS online tracking doodad showed these parcels had been delivered and signed for, by his wife (apparently).

He has promised to let me know what UPS say when he accuses them of employing morons who dump parcels on random doorsteps, forge a signature, then drive off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 December, 2014, 12:53:43 pm
Ordered an amplifier1 from that nice Mr Richer on Monday.  3-5 business day delivery option (free).  It would come, they said, today (that's Friday if you're reading this on Dave), or Monday/Tuesday next week.

Text on Thuesday night: we're delivering it tomorrow.

Text on Wednesday morning: we're delivering it between 11:08 and 12:08.

11:15 Wednesday I took possession of a big box with "Pioneer" written on the side in large friendly letters.

Gits >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 19 December, 2014, 03:39:54 pm
Ordered a weight tree for Dearly Beloved from Fitness Superstore on Wednesday (17/12) night.
Receive email stating it had been despatched last night, with working (and comprehensible) tracking reference.
Out for delivery from Borehamwood 08.36.
Delivered at 12.27.

Approximately 20kg package measuring about 8 * 45 * 130cm.
£5.95

Yodel

I really can't grumble but wonder how the couriers treat/pay their drivers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 20 December, 2014, 01:39:36 am
Well, size and weight are not really relevant to the final drop except insofar as they stop the van being filled up and restrict the number of deliveries - your Yodel driver would have had to take the same trouble over an A4 envelope as over your 20kg 4ft high box, albeit it might have been a little easier to lift.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on 25 December, 2014, 07:52:21 pm
One less (fewer?) to worry about.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/dec/25/city-link-administration-jobs-delivery-company-losses (http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/dec/25/city-link-administration-jobs-delivery-company-losses)

Crap day to announce the redundancies though.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Deano on 21 January, 2015, 06:29:44 pm
I'd be astonished if we have a non-shite couriers thread, so I'll put this here.

Came home to find a card through the door from ParcelForce.

It said they'd try to redeliver tomorrow (when I won't be at home either).

So I was resigned to having to trek over to the howling wastes of Boro for my parcel - until a tap on the door awoke me from my nap, which turned out to be the cheery Parcel Force chap with my parcel. He said his last delivery had been out at Catterick Garrison, so he swung by on his way back east to deliver it.

Good on him :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 27 February, 2015, 03:57:53 pm
Yodel - calling card + extras:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/yodel-delivery-man-used-couples-garden-as-toilet-and-cleaned-himself-with-sorry-you-werent-in-card-10075262.html

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on 27 February, 2015, 04:08:40 pm
Ordered a weight tree for Dearly Beloved from Fitness Superstore on Wednesday (17/12) night.
Receive email stating it had been despatched last night, with working (and comprehensible) tracking reference.
Out for delivery from Borehamwood 08.36.
Delivered at 12.27.

Approximately 20kg package measuring about 8 * 45 * 130cm.
£5.95

Yodel

I really can't grumble but wonder how the couriers treat/pay their drivers.

If you read any of the articles about the demise of City Link, that will give you a good idea.
The drivers lease the van, pay for fuel and then wait 2 months for payment from City Link.
 So all the work they did in the run up to christmas (the busiest period of the year) will not be paid for, whereas City Link's administrators will collect the money due from the clients and some of it will be used to repay the £20 million secured loan due to the venture capitalists that bought the business for £1. The unsecured creditors will get 1p in the £.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 February, 2015, 06:30:45 pm
I had two deliveries today; one was due tomorrow and the other "estimated" for next Thursday :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 February, 2015, 10:04:32 pm
Methinks Mr Larrington ordered the latter from Amazon, which was delivered by Amazon Logistics and lives within Greater Londonton.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 February, 2015, 12:16:17 am
Methinks Mr Larrington ordered the latter from Amazon, which was delivered by Amazon Logistics and lives within Greater Londonton.

Both were ordered through Nozama but the very early one was fulfilled by Someone Else.  Can't remember who the courier was.

Edit: Very Early Delivery was from AudioVisual Online and delivered by DPD :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 28 February, 2015, 08:56:12 am
I sit hedumacated...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 22 July, 2015, 03:52:51 pm
(https://www.talkphotography.co.uk/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-xpf1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F10156027_10152324294423699_1117903532_n.png%3Foh%3D7635b39d244b4d1768907355200d5261%26oe%3D5618352D&hash=3aeae1330565085d9279c44720ab61f3)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 22 July, 2015, 04:00:34 pm
I have to say that I have been a long time critic of shite couriers.   Jason from DPD was absolutely excellent and mllePB got her package within the hour window quoted. 

Begrudging acknowledgement of excellence by DPD.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 23 July, 2015, 09:29:39 am
Deusche Post AG

I bought some special bolts from a German ebayer.  On the 25th June he/she despatched them by Deutsche Post and they arrived on the 21st July.

It is partly the seller's fault as they must have known of the strike but didn't tell me until I asked where the item had got to.

On the 5th July I bought another item from Germany and it was delivered inside 3 days by DHL (owned by Deutsche Post)!

Nevertheless, I'd urge anyone thinking of using German postal services to be very wary as I don't think the strike issues are resolved.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 13 August, 2015, 03:59:10 pm
A new bike was being delivered today by DX.

tracking was okay last night, showing as tracked into the senders nearest depot. Today the tracking number doesn't exist. I've contacted the DiX couriers, they reckon it's been delivered and signed for at another house, 300+ miles from my address. They have no knowledge of it ever being sent out to me anyway. Strange one that, they sent me an email last night with the tracking number and my house details.

Wank.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 13 August, 2015, 04:03:22 pm
Have you contacted the vendor?
This is real 5h!te!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 13 August, 2015, 04:05:18 pm
it's Wiggle, 24hrs to reply  :-\

if its a mistake, fine. If it's been added to someone's fleet, I hope their legs drop off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 13 August, 2015, 05:53:29 pm
contacted Wiggle via live chat, DX have gone home  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 14 August, 2015, 11:25:41 am
Apparently DX had delivered it to the wrong address, somebody must've thought Christmas had arrived early!!

The address I was told is the other end of the country, it's coming to me today. I don't know how that's going to happen unless somebody picked it up from that house last night!!



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 14 August, 2015, 07:43:37 pm
hoo(feckin')ray!!

arrived, box undone but taped back up, bike untouched. Perhaps they didn't want it because it was only a cheapo hybrid ;D

I now have a dedicated bike for towing the trailer :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 August, 2015, 08:57:05 pm
I am pleased/relieved/amazed you got the bike so soon...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 14 August, 2015, 09:06:57 pm
Me too. They must've collected it from the wrong address last night. Nobody really knew where it was this morning but they put it on a van today without any tracking of the box :facepalm:

Disaster averted, it'll be towing the dog trailer tomorrow.

I wish they'd use dpd for everything, don't have any issues with them. Plus they give you an hour delivery slot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Aidan on 04 September, 2015, 12:18:34 pm
I currently have a courier driver sitting outside.  He delivered a parcel a few minutes ago, and while I was signing his machine for it he went and got the second parcel.  As I handed his machine back to him it flashed up that he had to take 20 minutes break. and won't let him scan the parcel until he has. So he is currently sitting outside and bringing my second parcel back in about 15 minutes ;D


I suppose its a good thing that they make the drivers take breaks, but between parcels for the same address?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2015, 12:25:44 pm
The thing is that they then drive around like lunatics trying to make up the time, because they've still got to make all those deliveries.

Couriers seem to have stopped bothering knocking on my door and just leave the parcel on the doorstep. I presume the walk up the steep drive makes the effort of knocking too much for them. It's kind of handy, I suppose, though it's also visible from the road and some passing scrote might eventually think he's qualified for a free gift and help himself. Mind you, yesterday I came home to find the cat asleep on top of the parcel. I presume that passes for guard duty in the feline world.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Steph on 04 September, 2015, 09:38:42 pm
I am STILL reading the title of this thread as "Shi'ite couriers"
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 14 September, 2015, 11:11:11 pm
And tonight's winner is....
<opens envelope and pulls out 'Sorry we missed you card>...

DX!

Your contact options for re-arranging delivery or collection are limited to web or premium-rate call to a robot.

Web: After completing the form, I'm presented with an IIS error page full of SQL errors from the back-end database. Excellent.

Phone: After tens of minutes trying to get the robot's voice recognition to work, it tries to look up my work postcode. ( This is not a new postcode or anything weird.) Hangs up at this point, and eventually says 'I'm sorry, we having a technical problem', and hangs up on me.

And that's it.
What a useless uncontactable bunch of twunts.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: iddu on 15 September, 2015, 12:44:24 am
:
What a useless uncontactable bunch of twunts.

Try
Name:
    DX

Address:
    Dx House, The Ridgeway
Postcode/City:
    SL0 9JQ Iver
County:
    Buckinghamshire

Phone:
    01753 630630
Fax:
    01753 631631
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 September, 2015, 01:07:02 pm
According to order tracking, the fucknuggets at Hermes tried to deliver a parcel to me at 1037 on Sunday (I was in, and nobody tried to deliver anything) and posted it through my letterbox yesterday. They didn't. Wankspanners.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 25 September, 2015, 11:50:13 am
When it comes to couriers, I must be the most unlucky git on the planet.

or

All couriers are truly shite

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=51052.msg1924049#msg1924049
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 26 September, 2015, 09:31:22 am
What a shower of shite they are!!

camera 1 - lost

camera 2 - out for delivery on a 9.00am today.

They only forgot to load it onto the van :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 06 October, 2015, 11:50:10 am
According to DPD I'm not in. Which begs the question, where actually am I then?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: menthel on 06 October, 2015, 12:00:38 pm
According to DPD I'm not in. Which begs the question, where actually am I then?

Inside a box with some poison. They didn't want to open it and kill you...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 06 October, 2015, 12:47:24 pm
Admittedly not wanting to collapse a state of quantum indeterminacy would be a cut above the average courier excuse.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 October, 2015, 06:25:10 pm
Bloody DPD    For some reason they won't put the small item I've ordered through my letterbox, and when I tried to get it delivered to one of their local pick up points they agreed, then came back & said it was unsuitable.   I'm not trekking out to their depot >:(     
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 14 October, 2015, 09:36:03 pm
On the other hand DPD texted me on Monday to confirm that an item I'd ordered would be delivered on Tuesday, then yesterday morning to let me know that it would be delivered between 11:12 and 12:12.

Two (or maybe three) clicks on their website let me ask them to deliver it to any neighbour (I could have been more specific, but didn't know who was likely to be in), an email confirmed that this would be done, then a text at 11:54 told me which neighbour had taken it in.

I'm more than happy with DPD.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 October, 2015, 08:47:46 am
I appreciate your conscientiousness, O postie, I really do.  But trying to deliver a package at 07:45 on a Saturday is a bit optimistic, wouldn't you say?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 17 October, 2015, 02:26:06 pm
Harking back to the past .... some of the City Link managers are being taken to some sort of court over the handling of the sudden closure/job losses last Christmas.

AND Royal Mail usually serves me well BUT three times this week the postman has left items hanging out of the letterbox (using the spring on the flap to hold them) .... OK, marks gained for initiative but lost for not thinking that we might be away and the items would be an advertisement for our absence.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 17 October, 2015, 08:47:13 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 17 October, 2015, 08:53:13 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 17 October, 2015, 09:25:44 pm
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.

Yup, that's the birdy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 18 October, 2015, 10:27:24 am
I had to eat a big slice of humble pie because my previous rant contained a big fat lie. The courier had been (they take a picture to prove it, and I can't even snark about it being from Google because I had put a new house sign up that day) but the doorbell had inexplicably failed.

OK, he could have knocked.

As is the nature of modern technology, I switched the doorbell on and off and it now works.
I bet it's a wireless doorbell. They're shite IME. Always losing the connection or going quiet.

Yup, that's the birdy.

Ah - we have a wireless door bell (with 2 chimers) that seems to consume batteries at an inconsistent rate, or decide not to work until they've been shaken to, presumably, re-establish battery contact ... just bought a mains set - one push with battery, two chimes that look like 13amp plugs and, well, just plug in .... with 30, yes 30 chime options words/tunes to choose from ... we'll see if they're any good.

Hopefully the frequency differs will be enough to stop the issue we have from time to time with car remote locking signals sometimes ringing our doorbell  ???

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2015, 01:56:29 pm
I reluctantly gave up on wireless doorbells because they're all shite[1].  You know where you are with a wire, and more importantly, so do the electrons.

Plus, if the bell-push is illuminated (impractical when battery powered) it provides a cue to the shite couriers that it might actually be connected and working.  (I've gone a step beyond that and rigged it to flash angrily in response to a knock sensor[2] on the door.)

The downside is that the glowing bell-push is occasionally too tempting for the late night drunken zombies to resist a game of Knock Down Ginger[3], but I'd rather have that than miss deliveries.


[1] Batteries and ISM band wireless being a recipe for things that don't work properly.
[2] False-positives too often (wind, neighbours door and people slamming car doors nearby) to trigger the bell directly.
[3] Other regional variations are available.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 18 October, 2015, 06:18:56 pm
It's a plug-in wireless jobbie, courtesy of Siemens, which disappointingly doesn't feature a suitably teutonic Ride of the Valkyrie's chime amongst the many (which are all awful and sound like someone dropping frogs on a failing Bontempi) selections.

Most couriers just leave stuff on the step or around the side of the house*, so I was exciting to find this one needed a signature. Except it didn't, the bloke just shoved it in my hand and ran off. It turned out to be six jars of chutney.

*Still the best one was Yodel and the treasure map showing the way to the back of my house and an x marking the spot on the kitchen doorstep where the parcel was to be found.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 23 October, 2015, 06:17:55 pm
Bloody DPD    For some reason they won't put the small item I've ordered through my letterbox, and when I tried to get it delivered to one of their local pick up points they agreed, then came back & said it was unsuitable.   I'm not trekking out to their depot >:(   

After umpteen emails & a very offhand phone conversation my package was finally left in the communal lobby of my flat,  where I asked them to leave it 12 days ago.

At least some  of the blame lies with the vendor, who chose to put a light bracket that would fit in a small jiffy bag into an 8" x 8" x 2" box  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 23 October, 2015, 06:25:04 pm
Why am I not surprised that this tread starts with a complaint about MyHerpes?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 23 October, 2015, 10:06:45 pm
This morning I delivered a sack truck load of reams of paper and other non-specific boxes of stuff from a medical supply company to the GP surgery at the end of the road.

Someone somewhere had been using handwriting for critical data[0], and 'A' had been parsed as '4'[1] when entering the address on the shipping label, causing the UPS driver to ignore all the obvious clues[3][4] and attempt to deliver it to our neighbours.  Who weren't in.

And this evening I had to explain to our confused neighbour why I no longer had the mystery parcel that UPS had left him a card for.


[0] ETA: With hindsight, this is the NHS, so I've no idea why I thought this was in any way remarkable.
[1] This is a new one for us, as we usually get the ones[2] where 'a' has been parsed as '2'.
[2] Usually hand-addressed envelopes containing confidential medical data, rather than parcels of office supplies.
[3] Full name of the surgery on the address label, big building with matching name in big friendly letters on it across the road, name of medical supply company on the boxes, that sort of thing.
[4] To be fair, barakta missed all this too, when she signed for the delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 23 October, 2015, 10:44:19 pm
Too busy trying to parse very quietly spoken delivery man who wasn't making any sense. I must have asked him to repeat himself about 3 times...  Says a lot about my ability to parse uncontextualised strangers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 October, 2015, 09:26:58 am
Had a letter the other day.  The house number and city corresponded to Larrington Towers and it had got wet so the ink had run a bit, but not so badly as to make "N5" look remotely like "E17" ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 07 November, 2015, 11:32:20 pm
Friday. expecting 3 parcels with the normal postie but he only brought one. He told me that the others would probably be "Out in the van later". I knew they were signed for so I actually stayed in all afternoon waiting. Nothing came so I assumed there might have been a delay and expected them this morning. Postie called today to give e a "We tried to call...." red card. It sounds a bit suspicious that they "Tried to call" without me hearing them at the door on Friday afternoon and they obviously forgot to put the red card through my letterbox themselves and asked the Postie if he'd mind dropping off said card, asking me to go out to the depot and collect the stuff myself. I got the card today a half hour before the Post Office depot closed so will now have to wait until Monday.
With that sort of, reputation building, Shite service I'm given to wondering Who would buy the Ferkin' Post Office?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 08 November, 2015, 12:37:34 am
Yamaha Music London used a single-handed chap to deliver our boxed Clavinova last Tuesday at 20.00.

129kg lump measuring about 160x75x80cm dumped in our hallway.

Not really the courier's fault but lousy customer service...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 11:14:49 am
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk.  Or at least that's what I hope it is.  Could be a robotic exoskeleton kit by the weight.  Anyway, they've gone to look for the rest of it.

An ergo-bollocks[1] specialist is coming tomorrow morning to set it all up, so I'm predicting the obvious...



[1] You can tell she doesn't have a high opinion of adaptive ergonomic equipment, can't you?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 26 November, 2015, 12:14:51 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 12:30:27 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?

Easier and less error-prone to send a message than to work out whether to send a message.  I'm certainly not complaining, and am hoping that this technology will evolve into "we've just delivered the parcel before yours in the round" notifications, so you can hold off going to the loo at the wrong moment.

IIRC ?UPS allow you to set up an account associated with your address, so you can tweak notification options.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 26 November, 2015, 12:36:57 pm
But have you tried tussling with UPS' website, Kim?

Grim and unhelpful just doesn't do it justice.  Designed by the publicity department of MI6, I think (i.e. to avoid giving any information).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 12:47:27 pm
But have you tried tussling with UPS' website, Kim?

Yes, I got bored and gave up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 01:11:08 pm
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk...

Does it count as grink if you type it into TextRelay?  Regardless, that's what barakta is currently subjecting TNT to.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 26 November, 2015, 03:48:11 pm
Not necessarily shite but certainly uneccessary. Every time I receive parcels via certain couriers, shortly after I receive an email or text which reads SATLO 'Your parcel has been delivered...'

I can see the point for proxy deliveries but on site & signed for?

Quite useful when they've delivered to the wrong place. You have a fighting chance of getting it resolved while the driver's not too far away.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 26 November, 2015, 04:16:45 pm
Like when Bumper's new bike got delivered to Northampton . . .  :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mike on 26 November, 2015, 05:17:01 pm
yesterday: got a text from interlink to say my delivery will arrive tomorrow, 'click here' to change date. I clicked and changed to Monday because I'm out tomorrow.

Confirmation text arrives almost instantly.

this morning:  text from them to say 'your parcel is at the depot for you to collect, click here to see where the Cambridge depot is'.  Pleasant surprise it was early balanced by the arseache of having to go and get it, but I could sneak out at lunchtime on the bike and get some coffee at the same time... Except I clicked and the Cambridge depot is in Chatteris, 25 miles away.

Emailed retailer. They said Interlink will refuse to speak to them if it's not the depot nearest the retailer and I had to call myself. 

Called, she said (direct quote) 'Oops, Geoff's put it in the wrong pile.. sorry!  it'll be with you on Monday'.

bloody geoff.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 05:31:08 pm
An unspecified courier has just delivered 2/3 of barakta's new desk...

Does it count as grink if you type it into TextRelay?  Regardless, that's what barakta is currently subjecting TNT to.

I've just got home, and she's still doing it.  With added boabwords.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 26 November, 2015, 06:03:49 pm
After claiming in an entirely non believable way that it would TOTES be with me by 9am at lunch time I said this wasn't good enough as I didn't trust them. As I couldn't stay on the line to harangue them (cos I had to give a deaf awareness session) they promised to email me.

They didn't email me, I phoned back at about 4:45pm and spent a further 45 mins on the relay talking to variety of people. Such competence. "We don't know who the sender is" "we don't have a full delivery address" "we don't actually know where the item is" $Excuse $Excuse. Eventually they admitted it was TOTALLY lost and can take up to 3 days to find IF they can find it.

So much for my 10am ergonomic setup slot... Rather pissed off as it means lots of heavy crap all over our dining room, a whole new delivery faff + rearranging setup... And means even longer till I have the ergo kit I need. 

NOT Very Happy with TNT!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 November, 2015, 06:36:35 pm
...and there's a SEP field that prohibits me from mantling any of it.   :(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 26 November, 2015, 06:40:45 pm
Like when Bumper's new bike got delivered to Northampton . . .  :demon:

 :hand: :hand: :hand: :hand: DON'T TEMPT FATE

I've got a new bike coming from planetx, hopefully!
I'm trying to not even think about it, something will go tits up. It always does.

I'm lucky like that :facepalm:

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 27 November, 2015, 12:18:23 am
Mea Culpa!

**wanders off mumbling about 'Bloody cyclists always got money for new bikes...' <grumble grumble>
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 27 November, 2015, 08:01:54 am
Mea Culpa!

**wanders off mumbling about 'Bloody cyclists always got money for new bikes...' <grumble grumble>

stop yer whingin'

I've got some stuff for you next time you're over this way :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 27 November, 2015, 09:15:28 am
Quite useful when they've delivered to the wrong place. You have a fighting chance of getting it resolved while the driver's not too far away.

Yep, I got an email from DPD saying "we've left it with your neighbour at no. 7" with an accompanying photograph...  except it clearly wasn't our neighbours. So I was able to contact them immediately. It helped that I knew exactly where he HAD dropped it off - we're in "Buckland" and the house he left it at is 800m away in "Buckland Wharf". It's a confusion that happens enough to know what's going on. It can however be somewhat worrying - I got home one night to find a "For Sale" board in the front garden! Luckily my wife was still talking to me, and it was a case of mistaken property identity  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 27 November, 2015, 11:54:48 am
After claiming in an entirely non believable way that it would TOTES be with me by 9am...

Code: [Select]
10:35:17 <front_room> There's somebody at the door!
'nuff said.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on 30 November, 2015, 04:00:36 pm
Warning: May contain Clarkson.

http://www.amazon.com/b?node=8037720011
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 30 November, 2015, 04:15:16 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on 05 December, 2015, 04:37:50 pm
Argghh,,

Amazon Prime, seem to be unable to deliver in two days, let alone next day.

And as for not being able to find my daughters flat.. Lack of braincell or effort.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 05 December, 2015, 04:46:06 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone. 

My apologies. I've just remembered. Clarkson's shite is always delivered by drone.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on 05 December, 2015, 05:00:59 pm
The last thing I'd want is a bucketful of Clarkson's shite. Especially one delivered by drone.

The opening scene from Smokey & The Bandit 2 springs to mind, where a trio of  B-25 Mitchells make a "fertiliser" bombing run.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 05 December, 2015, 05:31:38 pm
Argghh,,

Amazon Prime, seem to be unable to deliver in two days, let alone next day.

Barakta ordered some stuff via Amazon Prime on Monday.  It promised delivery on Wednesday.  On Wednesday morning the tracking showed that it had been loaded onto a van.  Which is where it remained until this afternoon (Saturday).  This is in spite of various moaning by barakta.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on 05 December, 2015, 06:17:00 pm
This probably reflects the race to the bottom and poor practices by the logistics industry. Still waiting for the parcel promised today.

Coming by Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 05 December, 2015, 06:39:39 pm
Barakta has, quite reasonably, pointed out that although Black Friday isn't a thing in the UK, many of Amazon's customers may not have got the message.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on 05 December, 2015, 06:41:31 pm
Barakta has, quite reasonably, pointed out that although Black Friday isn't a thing in the UK, many of Amazon's customers may not have got the message.

Sadly, it is a thing in the UK.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 05 December, 2015, 07:49:21 pm
I will be issuing a grink to scamazon over my parcel cos they knew they wouldn't be able to deliver on time when I ordered and then lied to me repeatedly. For all the good it'll do. My prime is a student 6 month trial and I'm not feeling inclined to pay for it. I'd have gone to the evil shop hadi known Amazon would not deliver properly. I needed the item on wed not SAT... And had waiting for delivery staying in for 4 days cos of lies.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on 05 December, 2015, 08:21:32 pm
They have admitted defeat and claim it will now be delivered some time between tomorrow and wednesday.
When I am not at home.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 07 December, 2015, 10:05:06 am
I can't complain, during my recent hair cutting disaster (remember thought leadership demands tidy hair), I ordered a fancy new Wahl clipper at about 11am and it arrived at 7pm, thus meaning I arrived looking mostly not like someone who had escaped from a high security psychiatric institution.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on 07 December, 2015, 09:43:53 pm
It arrived first thing sunday morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 08 December, 2015, 01:26:11 am
My lamp is rather good, might get a second for reading dead trees with (to keep colour temps the same) but will make a point of ordering from NotAmazonTM >:(

I got an obsequious email in response to my "not fucking happy" chat with not very good English speaker on text chat several days ago. 6k sociology essay with b0rked arm overrides writing the mother of all grinks back as I don't fancy Dragonning Grinks. I'm not dragonning the damned essay either!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 08 December, 2015, 05:28:16 pm
Un-shite courier:

I ordered an item of jewellery from South Uist at lunchtime yesterday.
It arrived in this morning's post at my work.

RM Special Delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: menthel on 09 December, 2015, 01:11:42 pm
Amazon very kindly left a couple of parcels in my "safe place". I haven't specified one but apparently that is in my bin wedged up against the front door on its side. Luckily it was only a monitor lead and a mouse mat.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 December, 2015, 01:27:10 pm
Royal Mail if they cant deliver because we aren't in and it needs signing for kindly leave the parcel at the post office - in a village 15 miles away !
There is a market town with a post office 5 miles away but they don't use that for some unknown reason.

Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on .....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 09 December, 2015, 01:39:19 pm
Royal Mail if they cant deliver because we aren't in and it needs signing for kindly leave the parcel at the post office - in a village 15 miles away !
There is a market town with a post office 5 miles away but they don't use that for some unknown reason.

Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on .....


Where I am Parcel Force are the only ones that leave stuff at the post office (0.5 miles away). Everyone else has depots in Penrith/Carlisle which means a >2hr, and 100 mile round trip to collect any parcels.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: sg37409 on 14 December, 2015, 05:36:59 pm
Un-shite courier:

I ordered an item of jewellery from South Uist at lunchtime yesterday.
It arrived in this morning's post at my work.

RM Special Delivery.

I was looking around for an Xmas present, and based on this, I looked up said jewellers and ordered a necklace. I hope to have as good a courier experience.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 December, 2015, 02:01:59 pm
so it begins............

pre-delivery email.

Your item will be delivered before 12.00 today

It's just turned 2.00pm and it's not here.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 December, 2015, 02:36:46 pm
Nobody has a clue who the driver is today on this route.
They don't have his phone number ( considering they don't know who he is*, this was obvious )

this is the same courier who delivered my last bike to the other end of the country.


*bollox

I ordered something else from Belgium yesterday. It was delivered at lunchtime today.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 15 December, 2015, 02:45:04 pm
Un-shite courier: RM Special Delivery.
Those packets get extra special care from yer postie. I had to sign individually for them and it was a very high priority to get them there before 1pm, even at the expense of delivering other stuff later.
Last Christmas I did the 30 mile round trip to find I had to sign for a Christmas card that an aged aunt hadn't put the correct postage on...
I used to tell people I delivered those grey cards to that if it were for that amount, the reason was almost certainly the same as you described. I then said it was up to them to judge if the trip to the sorting office was worthwhile.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 December, 2015, 03:28:43 pm
just had a phone call, they've tried to deliver it this morning.

Like F***

I've had 8 other deliveries today. I've been sat here waiting for this one, it's the only one on an a.m. delivery. He'll see if he's got time to deliver on his way home, twat.

DX strikes again!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 December, 2015, 05:09:24 pm
Bloody postie woke me up this morning - I've never got out of bed and down two flights of stairs so quickly.  He'd already put the card through the letterbox but I managed to get the front door open before he'd seen himself off the premises.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 15 December, 2015, 06:29:27 pm
FUCK ME!

It's arrived damaged. The handlebars have smacked the top tube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 16 December, 2015, 01:03:16 am
 :-X
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 16 December, 2015, 01:49:01 pm
Another farce with Wiggle on the go. They are the most unhelpful people I've ever dealt with. I've told them to delete my account. Once this is dealt with I will never even buy a tube from them, never, ever ever again. I've just checked my yearly spend with them, it's lots. If it was their business/money they were losing, the new one would be here tomorrow.

They want this one back to 'check it'. They won't post the other out until this is okayed. The other has got to be prepped then sent out. Can't guarantee next week because they're 'busy', so we're looking at after new year. It's policy, they do this with everyone.

So that's CRC and Wiggle that have shafted me bikes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 16 December, 2015, 06:09:19 pm
I think this is time for John to mention LBSs ;)

Sorry to hear about your bike bumper
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 16 December, 2015, 06:43:37 pm
I use my lbs, he just couldn't get the bike I wanted. His are also 3 times the cost and carbon with a curved top tube, which I've just sold  :(

I got a bit shitty on the phone earlier, which didn't help.  I just got sick of hearing 'it's our policy' after every single one of my sentences. They haven't been willing to give any help whatsoever. I was told one thing yesterday and a completely different thing today. I'm still waiting for them to ring me about the collection of this thing, it's filling the entire room. That means my wife is also giving me aggro!

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 16 December, 2015, 08:25:59 pm
This time Royal Mail. I have a notification that one present I've ordered was posted 1st class on the 9th. It's still not here. The present (which I needed tomorrow) seems to have disappeared into the ether.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 16 December, 2015, 09:35:12 pm
I think this is time for John to mention LBSs ;)

Sorry to hear about your bike bumper

How many times have you composed a reply and then deleted it rather than posting . . . ?

This is the first time someone else posted what I'd deleted 2 or 3 times already.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 17 December, 2015, 04:23:14 pm
I think it's being sorted out.

After lots of ''discussion' :-\

It's just got to be delivered without getting damaged by some nobber driver.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 17 December, 2015, 05:32:58 pm
If you get the option, ask for UPS. I deal with most of the firms and UPS are by far the most professional of our motley bunch. YMMV.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on 18 December, 2015, 02:41:01 pm
parcelforce fuckwits left a box clearly marked as from Roche Diabetes care my back doorstep with no card through the door.  Don't know when it was left there as I've not been out the back door since Wednesday
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 18 December, 2015, 02:49:29 pm
If you get the option, ask for UPS. I deal with most of the firms and UPS are by far the most professional of our motley bunch. YMMV.

I imagine it'll be the same delivery idiots. I may go and collect it from the depot, they'll probably stick it on another van just to piss me off.

After being a complete disaster, my complaining may have sorted this out. I've moaned via email and phone every hour, well every other hour. Being a Mr. Nice Guy doesn't get you anywhere in life, I may start being shitty with everything that goes t!ts up.

My new shiny should be here Monday or Tuesday...................
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cpcnw on 18 December, 2015, 07:38:48 pm
Is there actually a 'recommended courier' thread?

Seriously... I want to send a folding bike in a box and as I have never sent a bike before could do with some helpful pointers :)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 18 December, 2015, 07:45:43 pm
Avoid DPD, Hermes, Yodel, UK Mail, Interlink.

UPS and Parcelforce have dedicated vans to handle larger stuff and their drivers I deal with are salaried and not paid per parcel. The ones above seem to be self-employed and paid per delivery, so speed is more important than quality to them.

I know you want it fast, but if you can wait a while after xmas the quality of delivery will increase significantly as all the self employed chancers will have been laid off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 December, 2015, 07:51:31 pm
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 December, 2015, 10:57:48 am
Porcelfarce did once righteously bugger up a delivery for me, resulting in the item making an unecessary trip from Walthamstow to Harlow.

Via Seattle :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 19 December, 2015, 11:32:32 am
Harlow/Seattle. Easy mistake to make.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 19 December, 2015, 11:38:20 am
Is there actually a 'recommended courier' thread?

Seriously... I want to send a folding bike in a box and as I have never sent a bike before could do with some helpful pointers :)

I've used Paisley Freight. £23.50 next day. The only issues I've had have been down to my poor packing!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 19 December, 2015, 11:42:19 am
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
My recommendations were based on the delivery of larger items, but I take your point for smaller items. I would only entrust my own larger valuables to UPS or Parcelforce. I have seen how the others handle their goods first hand and it ain't pretty.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 December, 2015, 11:47:55 am
Harlow/Seattle. Easy mistake to make.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 19 December, 2015, 11:57:45 am
My experience of Hermes is nothing other than faultless.
I appreciate that YMMV.
My recommendations were based on the delivery of larger items, but I take your point for smaller items. I would only entrust my own larger valuables to UPS or Parcelforce. I have seen how the others handle their goods first hand and it ain't pretty.

I think it's almost impossible to generalise, especially from experiences as a recipient or a low volume sender, as the experience seems so dependent on the quality and attitude of your local depot.

DPD has been excellent for me both as a recipient and with a couple of parcels to Ireland; Parcelforce used to be good but then closed the depot that was just down the road, and I've had poorer service from the new one as a recipient, though they've been fine with a couple of pickups. Small packages I tend to give to MyHermes or the other one that lets you drop off at a local shop and have no complaints so far.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 19 December, 2015, 12:28:29 pm
Unfortunately, my job entails receiving lots of parcels on an industrial scale. UPS, in particular, seem to take great care of their items, but maybe that's down to the driver who seems very professional, although their whole approach builds confidence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 19 December, 2015, 08:07:25 pm
Unfortunately, my job entails receiving lots of parcels on an industrial scale. UPS, in particular, seem to take great care of their items, but maybe that's down to the driver who seems very professional, although their whole approach builds confidence.

Have to agree on UPS - our local chap knows me and if he spots me on foot in the town he'll give a friendly wave from his van ... and if he has a package for me stop the van and find it.  Excellent. 

Upside is that the same bloke has been on the SuA round for about 12 years.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 20 December, 2015, 11:25:39 am
It depends, if you know the delivery person they can be ace. At our old place most stuff seemed to come via the late, unlamented Citilink, so we knew the driver and if I wasn't in, he give me a call to ask what to do. We get a lot from Hermes here, which actually seems to be him-and-her team, and they're great, they know where to leave stuff etc.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 20 December, 2015, 05:49:00 pm
Ok good effort in getting a local shop to hold onto my parcel so I don't have to go to the UPS depot in Carlisle for it. Picking a shop that's only open Mon-Fri 9-5 because I wasn't in on a week day is a bit stupid though, no?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tigerrr on 21 December, 2015, 06:41:12 am
I think the delivery drivers are unsung heroes. Paid peanuts, work long hours and generally get the stuff delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 21 December, 2015, 02:29:41 pm
Yebbut this thread mostly describes times when they don't get stuff delivered.
Which is not infrequent.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pickled Onion on 22 December, 2015, 06:21:33 pm
"We tried to deliver your parcel but no-one was in so we left it at <actual delivery address>"

"??? there's someone in waiting for you"

"Actually, we didn't deliver your parcel, there was no-one in."

"???"

"Here's a picture of the house to prove we tried to deliver:"

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 22 December, 2015, 06:34:01 pm
They really are shite, a random photo of a random door :facepalm:



I'm trying to avoid reading this thread. I've got a first class recorded missing from Friday,  a parcel for work that the courier hasn't had time to deliver................................

and the saga continues, DiX are delivering my new bike again tomorrow :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 22 December, 2015, 06:41:04 pm
Ok good effort in getting a local shop to hold onto my parcel so I don't have to go to the UPS depot in Carlisle for it. Picking a shop that's only open Mon-Fri 9-5 because I wasn't in on a week day is a bit stupid though, no?

Collected this parcel from the Laundrette. Process was fine but strange place to pick. My royal mail parcel is still missing however.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 December, 2015, 06:57:51 pm
Two parcels delivered by the good offices of Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics both arrived a day early.  Nothing to rant about at all chiz >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 22 December, 2015, 06:59:28 pm
;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 December, 2015, 09:14:35 am
I can't find your house! What road are you on? That's why then.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 December, 2015, 11:47:30 am
Two parcels delivered by the good offices of Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics both arrived a day early.  Nothing to rant about at all chiz >:(

I too have had precipitous delivery from The Big River.
In one case, a gift reached its recipient before the text I sent...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 December, 2015, 12:29:13 pm
And again.

Top tip, delivery drivers. If you're on a road with a different name to the one in my address you're unlikely to find my house on it. That's how addresses work.

The first bit is the same, so says he with the parcel when he arrives at the door.

Again, that's still not how it works. It's not fuzzy matching.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: tiermat on 23 December, 2015, 12:35:53 pm
@ian, this is where the correcthorsebatterystaple addressing system comes in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 23 December, 2015, 12:50:21 pm
WOOOHOOOOOO

My new bike has arrived safely, so has the missing first class parcel.

The work one is still MIA but I couldn't give a toss, I'm  now finished until after Xmas ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 23 December, 2015, 01:07:31 pm
@ian, this is where the correcthorsebatterystaple addressing system comes in.

They'd only deliver to the first thing with correcthorse in it.

Seems to be a common problem with professional drivers of all types.  "27 Oxbridge Road" becomes mentally truncated to "27 Oxbridge", and the parcel/pizza/taxi ends up at 27 Oxbridge Avenue on the other side of town.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 December, 2015, 01:14:38 pm
Indeed the problem. I'm on So-and-so Road, the say. I don't live on So-and-so Road. I live on So-and-so something else. They seem genuinely puzzled by this phenomenon. But it's so-and-so! Possibly they live in a special universe of couriers were streets, roads, crescents, avenues, are all interchangeable.

The rest of us don't. At least they call.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 23 December, 2015, 01:54:13 pm
I'm not quite bored enough to obtain a pile of data from Openstreetmap and wrangle it in an attempt to determine what the real world failure rate of this strategy is likely to be.  But Christmas is coming, so who knows.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 December, 2015, 02:08:13 pm
Yes, but think how exactly much worse it would be if Bono was in charge.

The white one, with the unusually long sleeves.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 December, 2015, 05:02:45 pm
Amazon Logistics, Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) was very surprised to learn that his new mouse had been "handed to resident".

Because it wasn't.

It was sitting on the doorstep and had been for four and a half hours when I rang him to check he'd got it just now >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 01 January, 2016, 01:11:22 pm
ParcelForce. Generally, I've had good service from them so I'll regard this as an aberration, but they apparently attempted to deliver a parcel yesterday morning. The card helpfully tells me they've left it for me to 'collect from your local Post office branch'. But it's not at my local PO, which is half a mile away. Neither is it at the local ParcelForce depot, about 2 miles away. It's at a Post Office 4 miles away in another town. WTF???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2016, 02:21:39 pm
So, my washing up was interrupted by the dulcet tones of Rod Hull and his menagerie of drama students.  There's somebody at the door!  And so there was.  Parcel for number 10?  Sure, no problem.

Back to the kitchen sink, and I've barely made a dent in the concretabix when Rod starts up again.

"I think that was for a different road."  Says he.  I examine the parcel.  So it is.  I hand it back, and explain that it's the one parallel to the Brizzle Road, cunningly hidden behind an unlocked gate to stop people using it as a fish boat.

"Thanks!" says he, sheepishly returning to his fuddishly-parked rental van.


It appears that road names are now being truncated after a single character.  And postcodes after the second digit (although having just looked it up, they do rhyme).   :facepalm:

I can only assume he bunged "B29 7" into his twatnav and delivered to the first no 10 he saw.   ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 January, 2016, 02:52:01 pm
I was once going to have a hire car delivered to my house. The time approached and then passed, so I call Messrs Enterprise to enquire of its whereabouts. 'It's there!', they say. 'No it isn't', I retort. A few minutes later they call back and tell me that it had been delivered to Gxxxxxon Road in Leamington Spa, not Gxxxxxon Close in Warwick (2 miles away). I think a twatnav would have helped on that occasion.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 09 January, 2016, 03:03:29 pm
I once had someone else's car delivered onto my drive by a transporter driver who apparently, couldn't read numbers on doors.

We were in 28. The car belonged to the people in 24. At least he got the right side of the road.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2016, 05:08:26 pm
And a guy from No 10 just appeared to collect his parcel...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2016, 09:42:11 am
Got several things coming today and blimey, the blizzard of notifications (probably my fault for ticking the boxes). Email, text, you name it. I'm not sure how, since I don't remember even providing my landline number, but I'm getting texts on that too. I didn't even know there was a robot-lady text speaker (reciting a web address really put her through her paces). The only thing I've not had yet is a carrier pigeon or message from the teeming dead.

As a plus, I know my DPD's driver's name, star sign, and favourite TV show. Royal Mail are a bit more cagey with 'my package is out for delivery'. Hermes send messages with the frequency of a teenager on an unlimited monthly text plan.

I've never felt so popular.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 11 January, 2016, 10:06:17 am
One of my bugbears is the trend (seemingly) for any company you've ever had the misfortune to ever have had the briefest encounter with to want to be an almost intimate part of your life.

The worst offender, in my experience, is AO - the white goods suppliers. I ordered a dishwasher. They sent me a text telling me it would be delivered on dd/mm/yy (whatever it was) and then continued texting and calling twice a day for about a week despite being told to stop making nuisance calls. As a result I'm now hesitant to ever do business with them again.

Having seen, heard of and experienced a few courier fails, if it ever happens again I shall always remember that things can always get worse: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35275855
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2016, 10:58:06 am
To be fair, I probably clicked all the notification options. I wasn't expecting stuff to arrive all on the same day (particularly since I didn't order some of it until 9.30pm yesterday evening with a deliver-it-whenever option) hence the flurry of messages, and they're usually useful if I'm out or the wireless doorbell is having one of its periodic sulks (yeah, yeah, needs fixing, it works fine until it doesn't), so I know they've left it behind the porch. DPD is the most useful, because I can track Michael (Sagittarius, Breaking Bad)) like I'm desperately on the edge of a restraining order.

Nice map-based tracking ought to be the default (you hearing me UPS?). I buy something that costs £25 and I can track it to the millimeter, I buy a £1700 computer and it might be delivered by the of the day.

AO phoned me to ask how I was enjoying my new washing machine and dishwasher. I was touched. I didn't know they cared. For the record, I don't think 'enjoy' is really how'd I describe operating the dishwasher. I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 11 January, 2016, 11:35:32 am
For large deliveries, IMO, only one message is necessary - "we plan to deliver on dd/mm/yy (plus am/pm if they know). If that's not convenient contact us on or before dd/mm/yy to reschedule."

I'm not the village idiot (contrary to popular belief) so I don't need suppliers and couriers making a nuisance of themselves just so I don't forget.

For smaller items I'm happy to know:

As for washing things - I do all the things that require use of a machine. Despite being fully conversant with all the "machines that go 'ping'" in hospitals Mrs C deftly avoids the dishwasher and washing machine at home. Should I smell a rat?  :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2016, 12:17:13 pm
Map-based tracking is important when you work home alone. You need to know when it's safe to take a long toilet break. There's nothing worse than commencing your bombing run and then hearing the fateful chime of the doorbell.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on 11 January, 2016, 12:57:46 pm
...I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Could you tell Mrs B?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 11 January, 2016, 01:24:38 pm
Surprised this one hasn't made it onto here: -

Man orders Kindle and receives 'tumour sample' in courier mix-up (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35275855)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 January, 2016, 01:50:53 pm
I am still waiting for an item I Buy It Nowed from Fleabay on January 4th.  One page on Fleabay says it was delivered on January 2nd, which is impossible.  Another page on Fleabay says it was delivered on January 5th, which is not impossible but very unlikely unless the seller had a private jet and a car waiting on the runway at Stansted.  It's coming from that Germany, that they have now, y'see.

It hasn't arrived yet.  How long does etiquette consider appropriate before writing Stern Letters to the seller, Fleabay, Deutsche Post, Royal Snail, the Queen and Benedict Cumberbatch (just in case)?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2016, 02:47:44 pm
...I'm not allowed near the washing machine because apparently I don't know how to wash clothes. It doesn't all go in at the same time and there are allegedly different settings.
Could you tell Mrs B?

I could. I'm generally not inclined to argue as I hate washing and still view the laundry basket as a recyclable resource.

Sadly, not shite couriers, everything arrived as promised, they even left it where I asked. None of it was really terribly urgent, but I guess it's modern life that something I order at 9.30pm on a Sunday evening appears on my door step before lunch time Monday. Odds on though, if it was something I desperately needed it would take weeks and they'd lose it not once but twice and then claim I never actually ordered it (that's you, Ikea).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 11 January, 2016, 02:54:51 pm
Odds on though, if it was something I desperately needed it would take weeks

This, combined with the occasional benefit of fondling ergonomics-sensitive equipment before purchase, is surely what keeps the Mega Pan-European Extended Warranty Corporation of Hemel Hempsted, GREAT BRITAIN in business.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 January, 2016, 06:56:23 pm
Hurrah: my absent Item arrived this morning :thumbsup:
Bah: The postie b0rked my doorbell :facepalm:

The button has jammed in so it makes an annoying noise, requiring some screwdriverpoken' to heal it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 12 January, 2016, 07:11:44 pm
Better get that sorted.  Once a delivery bod thinks the doorbell doesn't work, they'll never use it again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Si S on 13 January, 2016, 08:49:53 am
Better get that sorted.  Once a delivery bod thinks the doorbell doesn't work, they'll never use it again.

Our postie must be the Royal Mail's compulsory eternal optimist, it's never worked but he still perseveres
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DDCyclist on 13 January, 2016, 01:03:59 pm
No, Royal Mail, the bottom of a 3 foot deep recycling bin is NOT  a good place to leave one parcel, let alone two. There are a number of reasons for this:

1) You are hardly likely to have placed them at the bottom of the recycling bin. You MUST have dropped them to get them in there.

2) I have not told RM, at any time, that my recycling bin is a safe place to leave anything.

3) Sometimes my neighbours put my recycling out for me, as I do for them. There is a small chance that any parcels you have dumped in the recycling bin might be inadvertently disposed of.

4) I am not a f*(&ing orang-utan. I do not have arms long enough to get the parcels out of the recycling bin without a lot of unnecessary f&*ting around.

In future if you are unable to deliver a parcel because I am out leave it with a neighbour or take it back to the depot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 January, 2016, 10:38:22 am
I booked a parcel pick up on the 18th. economy, supposed to take 36-48 hours.

Picked up on 19th - ok.

It's not out for delivery yet. Still in the depot. That's 3 sodding days to get it to a depot. FFS!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Thor on 21 February, 2016, 04:06:23 pm
Ordered a footwear item online, returned to store, ordered a different size,  online again.

Both deliveries by Hermes, for both was advised by text message that item was out for delivery.  Both messages arrived a day later than the item to which they referred!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 February, 2016, 07:09:25 pm
Advised yesterday via a text from IKEA that the period during which they would notify me when $PICTURE_FRAME was back in stock has expired.  Only they never did notify me that it was back in stock, no, I had to prod their webby SCIENCE to find that out.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 05 March, 2016, 09:10:11 am
Parcelfarce strike again!

Saturday delivery still sat in the local depot. Local depot number on answer machine stating that they're closed but open during 8.00am-12.30pm :facepalm:

What a bunch of useless wankers, this is the third Saturday delivery they've cocked up for me.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 March, 2016, 05:17:09 pm
I wasn't expecting today's missed delivery from Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia Logistics until Monday.  How dare they be early!

ETA: I can't imagine it needed to be signed for, nor that it was too big to go through the letterbox though ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 March, 2016, 05:27:51 pm
Most of my recent Big River deliveries have been early but we have been in and I haven't found the good courier thread to tell everyone.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 March, 2016, 05:33:46 pm
My Nozama delivery yesterday came via Royal Snail and although of considerably greater value than todays just landed on the doormat wrapped in a flyer advertising a local junk food vendor.  Tuesday's delivery from Not Amazon needed to be signed for chiz and the bastard sorting office is mornings only on Thursdays as otherwise I'd have been able to detour on the way to thee Pubbe in central Londonton.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 06 March, 2016, 11:25:43 pm
Seems Moonpig disappointed today.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35740066 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35740066)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 07 March, 2016, 12:08:47 am
That's a rather EPIC fail.

No one is going to trust them again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 March, 2016, 12:19:31 am
Yesterday's missed Mega-Global Big River Corporation of Seattle, USAnia delivery was re-scheduled for the "next business day" which I took to be Monday.  Another delivery from same was also scheduled for Monday.  Both arrived today (Sunday).  Bastards
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 07 March, 2016, 08:33:10 am
The parcels may be a tad damp. Grosmont deliveries this weekend.

(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/4804686/)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 07 March, 2016, 09:58:59 am
Following TwatNav?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 10 March, 2016, 09:18:58 am
I usually have been pretty happy with ParcelForce. They usually call at my place, realise I'm not in and leave the parcel at the local Post Office to collect.

This time though they've decided not to do that and kept taking the parcel back to Carlisle, even when I instructed them to leave it at the PO, which costs £1 apparently (I've never paid it before). Luckily my neighbour was in yesterday so I now have some shiny new wheels, though I could have had them on Saturday if they'd just left them at the PO as normal ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Biggsy on 10 March, 2016, 05:43:34 pm
DX "Delivered Exactly", or "Shite Exactly" I will now call them: made no genuine attempt to deliver my parcel, left no card, days later sent a snail mail telling me to arrange re-delivery.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 10 March, 2016, 06:32:34 pm
Special bonus points to the Fedex driver who managed to pinball between pavements and verges coming up the hill. A fact I'm sure entirely unrelated to the phone he had pressed to his ear.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 26 April, 2016, 04:26:40 pm
UK Mail have not been sh!te today but...
I had an email stating ETA of parcel was between 17.09 and 18.09 today and it was #92 of driver's deliveries today.
I have been watching the tracking most of the day.
At 16.09 when the tracking stated driver was on the way to delivery #69, the package was delivered.
According to the tracking, it's still 'out for delivery' though the driver's progress is no longer shown.
I was enjoying watching the tracking but somehow reality and tracking don't quite correlate.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 May, 2016, 08:12:01 pm
Nice of you to leave my package with the folks two doors down, Yodel.  One slight problem: they're never in >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Vince on 09 May, 2016, 11:33:48 am
The parcels may be a tad damp. Grosmont deliveries this weekend.

(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/4804686/)
Another Amazon delivery?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on 09 May, 2016, 11:45:46 am
I've just had a text message from Maharishi telling me that the shirt I ordered from them yesterday,  will be delivered by DPD tomorrow  :o
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 May, 2016, 06:25:23 pm
Nice of you to leave my package with the folks two doors down, Yodel.  One slight problem: they're never in >:(

After a further failed attempt to prise my parcel out of the clutches of the not-quite-neighbour, he actually brought it round himself :thumbsup:  Now I can at last pension off thee Denim Jacket ov DOOM.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: bumper on 19 May, 2016, 05:51:32 pm
Amazon,

I expected a Saturday delivery, the orders I placed both state Saturday delivery. I didn't expect to return home and find out that you had tried to deliver on Thursday.

The reason I wanted Saturday is because there's nobody at home during the week you muppets!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pickled Onion on 07 June, 2016, 08:30:17 am
I ordered a small item from them last week, no need for a Saturday delivery as it would easily fit through the letterbox.
(click to show/hide)

At least on the second attempt the guy had the wit to leave it in the garden.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Biggsy on 07 June, 2016, 12:51:50 pm
That deserves some feedback:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=201277410
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 July, 2016, 05:17:57 pm
New Shiny ordered yesterday pm.  No big rush so opted for free delivery i.e. 5 working days.

It's just arrived :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 July, 2016, 05:21:38 pm
Makes up for the Jehovah's Witnesses; enjoy!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on 28 July, 2016, 10:44:30 am
Goddamned summer-temp postie. She had delivered our post and was at the next house, not 10 metres on.  I was going into the house from the garden, gave her a wave which she didn't return, she just stared.  When I went down to get the post just now there was a note in the box: tried to deliver a parcel, you weren't there, you can pick it up from tomorrow at blah blah.

We've also been getting mail for villages about 10 km from here. God knows where ours is ending up. :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on 23 September, 2016, 01:54:04 pm
Yodel. Five letters that can chill the heart of even those of the strongest constitution.

From, an admittedly low base they managed to surpass themselves yesterday. Got home to find a card saying "parcel in back garden". Couldn't find after 10 minutes of searching so called the number on the card.

"Oh! That's not your package the driver must have put the card through the wrong door"

"Well I'm expecting a package from you today. Where's that?"

"It's been delivered"

"Not here it hasn't"

"We'll ask the driver where it is. We'll speak to him within 24-72 hours"

"Can't you phone him"

"No we have no way of getting in touch with our drivers"

A quick search on Amazon, who I'd bought the parcel through, showed it had been delivered. To Reading. 30 miles away!

20 minutes later I have a ranting Yodel driver on my doorstep - remember the one who they had no means of getting in touch with. He'd dropped the parcel (fortunately non-fragile) over the fence the far side from the gate and was raging about me "having got him in trouble with the office.

Next I get a call from Yodel Customer Services. When I asked why I was told they couldn't get in touch with the driver yet he magically appeared on my doorstep she tried to fob me off with "it's customer services who can't get in touch".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 September, 2016, 02:04:37 pm
Ordered stuffs from bike shop on t'web.
Get notification from their courier that the stuffs are on their way
Get card through door, saying stuffs are in bin.  It's bin day, but fortunately the courier arrived after bin collection.
Bike shop on t'web have sent wrong stuffs, so I post them back.
Get notification from their courier saying replacement stuffs are on their way
Courier website says stuffs have been delivered. Lack of stuffs suggest this is not the case.
Contact courier using web form. Tick box marked "phone" for preferred method of contact.
Retrieve email from seldom used account giving me reason for non delivery of stuffs.
Alert The Boy that stuffs may arrive
The Boy is woken from his slumbers by the rattling of the door as the courier pokes a card through, unable to get an answer.
Next day I phone courier, so The Boy can go to their depot to collect stuffs. Not to worry, they say, the stuffs are on the van for redelivery, mid morning.  I warn The Boy again.
No stuffs are delivered.
This morning I drop in at the depot on the way to work. Agh! they say, the stuffs are on the van for re-delivery, and have just this moment gone.  They will be delivered after 11, which is handy as The Boy gets home from work at half 10.
I warn The Boy
The Boy fortunately gets home early, as the courier company must have been using GMT.
Stuffs have allegedly arrived.

Cast: Bike shop on t'web - Spa Cycles
Courier: APC
Local depot/franchise: Streetwise Couriers Sussex
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 23 September, 2016, 02:26:56 pm
DX couriers must have the Home Office contract for delivering passports to our place.

Last Saturday the bell goes at 9.45am. There's a BFO notice on the door saying don't try to deliver before 10am. Bell duly ignored. Bell goes several more times. Bell ignored.

At 11am we notice that DX's driver hadn't bothered to read the notice and had left three calling cards outside in full view, saying  that number of passports couldn't be delivered as a signature was required and the addressee had to contact DX to rearrange delivery. Only the twunt of a driver hadn't put the names or addresses of the recipients, so we couldn't pass on the cards.

My, that was a conversation on Monday when he showed up again.
Title: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TigaSefi on 23 September, 2016, 02:34:35 pm
Yodel. Five letters that can chill the heart of even those of the strongest constitution.

From, an admittedly low base they managed to surpass themselves yesterday. Got home to find a card saying "parcel in back garden". Couldn't find after 10 minutes of searching so called the number on the card.

"Oh! That's not your package the driver must have put the card through the wrong door"

"Well I'm expecting a package from you today. Where's that?"

"It's been delivered"

"Not here it hasn't"

"We'll ask the driver where it is. We'll speak to him within 24-72 hours"

"Can't you phone him"

"No we have no way of getting in touch with our drivers"

A quick search on Amazon, who I'd bought the parcel through, showed it had been delivered. To Reading. 30 miles away!

20 minutes later I have a ranting Yodel driver on my doorstep - remember the one who they had no means of getting in touch with. He'd dropped the parcel (fortunately non-fragile) over the fence the far side from the gate and was raging about me "having got him in trouble with the office.

Next I get a call from Yodel Customer Services. When I asked why I was told they couldn't get in touch with the driver yet he magically appeared on my doorstep she tried to fob me off with "it's customer services who can't get in touch".

 ::-) How the fuck is it your fault he got in trouble with the office for being illiterate? I hate Yodel.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 23 September, 2016, 04:11:56 pm
I think I would complain to Yodel for their driver being abusive and badly behaved about his own bad behaviour as that is simply not on.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: citoyen on 27 September, 2016, 12:55:25 pm
Just had the bizarre experience of getting a notification from Royal Mail that my package had been delivered about half an hour before it actually turned up.

Lucky I decided to hold off on that complaining email.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 September, 2016, 01:27:43 pm
UPS took my parcel to a UPS Access PointTM after but one failed delivery attempt but fortunately a Nice Lady from The Nether Lands e-mailed to ask plz to tell us when we can resend because we can't hang onto it for ever.  Doubly fortunate, in fact, after previous communications from the sender got et by Microsith.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on 29 September, 2016, 12:02:09 pm
There was a man at my door with two boxes for a Mr Galloway a little while ago.

Right house number, wrong street.  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2016, 02:18:14 pm
Right house number, wrong street.  ;D

Happens a lot.  I think the reason is that they navigate using a SatNav that does 4-digit postcode lookups, then only pay attention to the house number.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bledlow on 29 September, 2016, 02:28:02 pm
That'd work. They're each a single postcode (cul de sacs, not too many houses), & only the last two letters of the postcode are different. The first part of the street name's the same, as well - X Gardens & X Court.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 September, 2016, 03:06:56 pm
Satnavs sometimes just Don't Work.

I used to live on a street and address that some makes of satnav could not cope with (as Torslanda found out). Even given the exact address, it sent him two streets away, at the far end of a dead end road. I've had a forlorn call from a courier stuck at the same place. I think the satnav wanted to send them through some bollards and across a bowling green or some such idiocy, certainly not to my actual house.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 29 September, 2016, 03:27:24 pm
Yeah, but when something like that happens the courier tends to know it's going wrong, rather than happily delivering to the wrong road.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 29 September, 2016, 04:06:14 pm
Right house number, wrong street.  ;D

Happens a lot.  I think the reason is that they navigate using a SatNav that does 4-digit postcode lookups, then only pay attention to the house number.

Boy, am I glad that Stag House is no more. The Royal Mail sent me loads of their stuff.
(Same street number and first 3 postcode characters)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 29 September, 2016, 11:37:12 pm
Satnavs sometimes just Don't Work.

I used to live on a street and address that some makes of satnav could not cope with (as Torslanda found out). Even given the exact address, it sent him two streets away, at the far end of a dead end road. I've had a forlorn call from a courier stuck at the same place. I think the satnav wanted to send them through some bollards and across a bowling green or some such idiocy, certainly not to my actual house.

I don't doubt for a minute you are correct but I can't for the life of me remember where you were . . .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 02:54:31 pm
Amazon "Logistics" have this afternoon delivered two of my parcels to a Mr Fall at 1/1 in this building even though I was in, there is no Mr Fall, and there is no 1/1.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2016, 02:59:38 pm
Mr Fall sounds like one of those public address euphemisms.  Presumably for "We dropped the package."
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Dibdib on 29 October, 2016, 03:05:15 pm
I get the occasional package for the same number with a very similar street name, which is just around the corner - For example, if I lived on Jackson Street the package would be for Jack Street which is the second left after my house.  Hilarious how long it takes me to explain to half of them that Jack Street and Jackson Street aren't the same.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 29 October, 2016, 03:16:16 pm
We live in B******* Village, we're number 8 Model Row.  There are only 8 numbered houses in the village, and the (dead end) road has no official name, but is sometimes referred to as "Main Road".  1km away, across the crossroads, at the end of B******* Road is Wharf Row, also numbered 1-8. About 200m from there is B****** Wharf, yep, you guessed it, numbered from 1-8. Oh what fun we have, despite differing postcodes. To the extent that I came home one day after work to find a "For Sale" board in the front garden! That was meant for Wharf Row.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 03:17:27 pm
Our online chat isn't going well.

Chat
End Chat
Sound
Me: Hi
You're now connected to Rajkamal from Amazon.co.uk
Me: Hi Rajkamal
Rajkamal: Hello, my name is Raj Kamal.
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
Am I chatting with Kirsten?
Me: I have just had two emails telling me that two orders 2X
and 2Y have been delivered to a neighbour Mr Fall at 1/1.
yes, this is Kirsten
I have been in all day and there has been no attempted delivery. There is no Mr Fall in this building, and there is not a flat numbered 1/1
so god knows where they've taken it
Rajkamal: Hi Kirsten. Good day!
I understand that you received an email stating that both your orders has been delivered, but you were in waiting for delivery and no delivery attempt was made.
I will check that for you.
Me: well they've obviously been left at the wrong address, so the delivery person needs to go get them and bring them to me
Rajkamal: Are you referring to following items:
A and B?
Me: yes
Rajkamal: Thanks for confirming.
May I place you on hold for 2 to 3 minutes while I check this for you?
Me: yeah
Rajkamal: Thanks for waiting patiently.
I've checked your order and see that tracking shows the order has been delivered today at 02:34:03 PM, and the order has been delivered to the neighbour.
May I ask if you have checked with your neighbors, household members or possible safe places where the carrier may have delivered the package?
Me: yes, I know that tracking says it has been delivered. I told you that.
it says it has been delivered to a Mr Fall at 1/1
there is no Mr Fall in this stair
there is no 1/1
and I have been in all day, waiting for the packages
so it should have come to me anyway
Rajkamal: I am really sorry that your order was not delivered to you when you were available. I will escalate the issue to the transportation department and ask them to take necessary actions against the delivery drivers.
May I know if you have checked with your nieghbours for this order?
Me: there are at least 40 buildings in this street with at least 10 flats in each of them
I can't knock 400 doors
and I don't even know if it's been left in the right street
can you find out from them where they left it?
Rajkamal: I can see the tracking shows:
Delivered to: Mr Fall
Door Number: 1/1
Me: yes, but there isn't a door number 1/1, and there isn't a mr fall
so they haven't left it in the right building
Rajkamal: Please don't worry, Kirsten.
Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered. I’d like to ask you wait until Tuesday, 1 November 2016 in case your order does arrive.
Me: no, that's not acceptable.
and it's not a good advert for amazon prime either
if you can't help me, can you escalate this to someone else please?
Rajkamal: I understand that you wish to escalate this issue to someone else.
I will try my best to fix this issue for you.
Me: please escalate this
Rajkamal: The highest point of escalation from our end is escalating the issue to supervisor.
May I know how you want me to proceed?
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: Even if we escalate this issue, my supervisor will tell you the same, Kirsten.
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: I will ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, I want to speak to them on chat or on the phone
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, there is no supervisor available at the moment, Kirsten.
So, I am suggesting you a supervisor email option.
Me: when will the supervisor be back from their break then? or are they dealing with another call? because I've already waited all day for a parcel that's been left god knows where, I can keep waiting
why is it so hard to phone the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: To resolve your issue, I can make an exception and replace the Amazon item in your order and refund the seller item, Kirsten.
Me: they won't be here today though will they?
why can't you phone the delivery centre and get them to find out where the stuff is?
look,you're not answering my questions
I want to know
1) why you can't or won't find out where the stuff is
2) when a supervisor will be available to speak to
Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2016, 03:25:24 pm
I think Rajkamal just failed the Turing test.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 29 October, 2016, 03:36:38 pm
In contradiction of the thread title .. . .

Parcel today (ordered on Friday morning from a well-known emporium in N Ireland) en route via Royal Mail "tracked" - email timed at 0530 to say that it was at the local SO and would be delivered at approx 1050 - 1012 door-bell rang with parcel (OK he was early, I can live with that) - he scanned the package (no signature) . .. by the time I walked the length of the hall to where my computer sits there was an email confirming delivery.  Pretty good. (No Haribo though :-( )

AND yet last Monday I was expecting a Fedex package delivered "before 1800" - Fedex man usually comes at about 1300 so when I went out for a couple of hours on the bike at 0830 I left a note in case he came to try No 39 or No35 (I live at 38) - got back and no sign of Fedex by 1600 . . . checked the online tracking and it said delivery was at 0905 to No35 .... collected package ..... about 1830 neighbour from No 39 had been to No 35 to see what Fedex had delivered for her and left at No 35??? - huh, Fedex man had put card through letterbox at 39 (despite my piece of paper stuck on my front door)  Aaaargh!

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 03:44:01 pm
Our online chat isn't going well.

Chat
End Chat
Sound
Me: Hi
You're now connected to Rajkamal from Amazon.co.uk
Me: Hi Rajkamal
Rajkamal: Hello, my name is Raj Kamal.
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
Am I chatting with Kirsten?
Me: I have just had two emails telling me that two orders 2X
and 2Y have been delivered to a neighbour Mr Fall at 1/1.
yes, this is Kirsten
I have been in all day and there has been no attempted delivery. There is no Mr Fall in this building, and there is not a flat numbered 1/1
so god knows where they've taken it
Rajkamal: Hi Kirsten. Good day!
I understand that you received an email stating that both your orders has been delivered, but you were in waiting for delivery and no delivery attempt was made.
I will check that for you.
Me: well they've obviously been left at the wrong address, so the delivery person needs to go get them and bring them to me
Rajkamal: Are you referring to following items:
A and B?
Me: yes
Rajkamal: Thanks for confirming.
May I place you on hold for 2 to 3 minutes while I check this for you?
Me: yeah
Rajkamal: Thanks for waiting patiently.
I've checked your order and see that tracking shows the order has been delivered today at 02:34:03 PM, and the order has been delivered to the neighbour.
May I ask if you have checked with your neighbors, household members or possible safe places where the carrier may have delivered the package?
Me: yes, I know that tracking says it has been delivered. I told you that.
it says it has been delivered to a Mr Fall at 1/1
there is no Mr Fall in this stair
there is no 1/1
and I have been in all day, waiting for the packages
so it should have come to me anyway
Rajkamal: I am really sorry that your order was not delivered to you when you were available. I will escalate the issue to the transportation department and ask them to take necessary actions against the delivery drivers.
May I know if you have checked with your nieghbours for this order?
Me: there are at least 40 buildings in this street with at least 10 flats in each of them
I can't knock 400 doors
and I don't even know if it's been left in the right street
can you find out from them where they left it?
Rajkamal: I can see the tracking shows:
Delivered to: Mr Fall
Door Number: 1/1
Me: yes, but there isn't a door number 1/1, and there isn't a mr fall
so they haven't left it in the right building
Rajkamal: Please don't worry, Kirsten.
Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered. I’d like to ask you wait until Tuesday, 1 November 2016 in case your order does arrive.
Me: no, that's not acceptable.
and it's not a good advert for amazon prime either
if you can't help me, can you escalate this to someone else please?
Rajkamal: I understand that you wish to escalate this issue to someone else.
I will try my best to fix this issue for you.
Me: please escalate this
Rajkamal: The highest point of escalation from our end is escalating the issue to supervisor.
May I know how you want me to proceed?
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: Even if we escalate this issue, my supervisor will tell you the same, Kirsten.
Me: escalate please
Rajkamal: I will ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, I want to speak to them on chat or on the phone
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, there is no supervisor available at the moment, Kirsten.
So, I am suggesting you a supervisor email option.
Me: when will the supervisor be back from their break then? or are they dealing with another call? because I've already waited all day for a parcel that's been left god knows where, I can keep waiting
why is it so hard to phone the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: To resolve your issue, I can make an exception and replace the Amazon item in your order and refund the seller item, Kirsten.
Me: they won't be here today though will they?
why can't you phone the delivery centre and get them to find out where the stuff is?
look,you're not answering my questions
I want to know
1) why you can't or won't find out where the stuff is
2) when a supervisor will be available to speak to
Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.

Rajkamal: Please bear with me for a moment.
I’m sorry this is taking longer than expected. Please bear with me while transfer this chat to my supervisor.
Me: thank you
Rajkamal: I am really sorry, Kirsten.
My supervisor is stuck in a long call, so I am unable to transfer this chat to my supervisor.
So, I've requested my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
You can expect an email from my supervisor within 5 - 6 hours.
Me: no, your supervisor should phone me
can you please tell me why you can't contact the delivery people and find out where they have left it?
Rajkamal: Unfortunately, the supervisor callback option is not available, Kirsten.
Me: why not?
and why can't you find out where they leftit?
Rajkamal: I can either transfer the chat to my supervisor or I can ask my supervisor to send you an email regarding this issue.
But since the supervisor is on other chat, I am unable to transfer this chat to supervisor. So, there is a supervisor email option left, Kirsten.
As informed earlier. Sometimes a carrier will accidentally scan a parcel as 'Delivered' when it's actually still on the way. It’s our experience that orders are delivered within a day or two of being scanned as delivered.
Me: why can't you contact them and find out?
Rajkamal: I will contact the carrier and check what exactly happened with the delivery of the order and make sure the mistake won't be repeated.
Me: no, I'm asking you to contact the carrier, ask them where they actually left it, and let me know so that I can go and get it, or they can get it back and deliver it
the stuff was supposed to be delivered today not Tuesday when I will be at work
Rajkamal: I am unable to contact the carrier right away, Kirsten.
I will escalate the issue to my supervisor and ask him to call the carrier to check what has happened with the delivery. He'll send you an email with the details.
Me: that's not helpful - that means it could be 10pm before I know what's going on
what's the point of paying for amazon prime when stuff goes missing and nobody can find out where it is?
Rajkamal: I can confirm you that you'll receive an email from my supervisor within next 2 hours.
Me: is the supervisor finished with the other call yet?
Rajkamal: No Kirsten.
The call has not completed yet.
Please don't worry, Kirsten.
I can confirm you that my supervisor will send you an email within next 2 hours.
Is there any thing else I can help you with today?
Me: well, there are a few things I want help with - I want you to find out where the stuff is, I want to speak to a supervisor, but apparently you're unable to help with any of that. And I realise that's not your fault, but I have to say amazon's customer services processes suck
Rajkamal: My supervisor has completed the call now. As per your request, I'll transfer this chat to one of our supervisors who will assist you further. Please stay online while I complete the transfer.
Me: thank you
A Customer Service Associate will be with you in a moment.
You're now connected to Subramanian from Amazon.co.uk
Subramanian: Hello Kirsten, this is Subramanian.
I'm a part of the leadership team here at Amazon.co.uk.
Just a moment please while I read your previous conversation.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 04:12:17 pm
Subramanian: Hello Kirsten, this is Subramanian.
I'm a part of the leadership team here at Amazon.co.uk.
Just a moment please while I read your previous conversation.
Thanks for waiting.
I'm sorry to hear that you've not received the items yet.
This might be the wrong tracking update by the carrier. Some chances are there that the driver might incorrectly updated the tracking as delivered or updated someone's tracking.
In these cases, the driver won't come back again for the same route as they need to finish the deliveries within 9 pm for the allotted areas.
They will deliver the order within 1 or 2 days.
I can certainly understand that you're not satisfied with the service from Amazon Logistics.
We continually monitor the service provided by our carriers and take complaints of this nature very seriously.
We’ll replace any items lost or damaged during delivery at no extra charge and monitor our carriers very closely.
We realise this incident reflects negatively upon Amazon.co.uk and the feedback you've provided will be used in reviewing the service provided by Amazon Logistics.
Me: I might believe the tracking was updated incorrectly for one parcel, but not for two
Subramanian: The same driver might be had your both parcels in the van.
Me: the delivery person has obviously delivered both packages to the wrong address and I can't understand why you won't contact them to find out
Subramanian: I'm sorry that we are unable to contact the carriers to investigate about this.
Usually we will request the customers to wait 24-48 hours to receive the order.
If you are not willing to wait, I can create a replacement order for the item sold by Amazon and issue refund for the items sold by seller.
I can replace this item " Slumberdown All Seasons 15 Tog Combi Duvet- Double Bed, White " and issue refund for other.
Me: you're seriously trying to tell me that a company the size of amazon has no way to get in touch with the people it employs to deliver things?
you must think I button up the back
Subramanian: If there is an option to investigate this, we can do this at first instance.
There is no option to raise investigation, we do give some time for the drivers to turn back and deliver the parcels. Time is fixed based on the recent deliveries.
I suggest you to wait 24-48 hours to receive the order.
As a token of apology for the delay, I can extend your prime membership for 1 month.
Me: why not ring the distribution centre and get them to ask the driver what's going on?
Subramanian: Please understand that if there is an option to do that , I should have done this earlier.
I can confirm that there is only one option, you should wait for the order to receive or I can issue refund or replace the items.
Me: I do not believe it is impossible to contact the distribution centre. It's in Glasgow, not on Mars
Subramanian: Kirsten, I informed you many times that we are unable to contact the carriers for these delivered not received problems.
The parcels will be automatically delivered by the drivers within 1-2 days.
Me: yes you informed me and I'm telling you that although that's what you're told to say, I don't believe it
the distribution centre has phones and computers
you have phones and computers
you could use your phones and computers to contact them
and the driver has clearly left the parcels somewhere else
it was ordered for delivery today, it says its been delivered today, it's been delivered to the wrong place, and delivery on Monday or Tuesday is no good because I will be at work
Subramanian: I'm not lying, Kirsten.
They won't pickup the phone, it is not possible to discuss the Amazon logistics delivery problems over phone.
Yes, I agree with you that the driver has left the parcel somewhere else.
I'm trying to resolve the issue here by using the available policy and resources.
Me: where we also have phones and computers for contacting people
your available policy and resources are not helpful
Subramanian: Okay, I take this as a feedback and forward this to the appropriate department. I hope they will consider this and looking for a change.
Just to confirm, do you wish to wait 48 hours to receive the parcels or wish to get replacement/refund?
Me: I don't want either of those options
I want the delivery today as I ordered it
Subramanian: I can not confirm whether the driver will come back and deliver the parcel today. We do have an approximate time for that, it is 48 hours.
I've provided all possible options.
Okay, could you please confirm how can I proceed further?
Me: can you escalate to someone who can contact the distribution centre please?
Subramanian: I understand that you wish to escalate this, confirm that no one can contact Amazon logistics carrier for delivered not received issues and ask them to deliver on same day.
We ask you to wait until 48 hours because this order may reach you before a refund or replacement is completed.
Me: can you give me their phone number then please?
Subramanian: If there is a contact number, I can give it to you straight away.
Customers can not contact them directly.
Me: you can't contact them and customers cant contact them?
are they like the A-team? do I have to put an advert in the paper?
Subramanian: We can contact them via internal mailing system if there is any delay with order.
Since the order was already marked as delivered, it should be driver's wrong tracking update.
The carrier will review daily deliveries either successful or unsuccessful after 9 pm in their depot.
Subramanian is typing...
Me: this is ridiculous. Your procedures are really so arcane that you can't get hold of another part of the company to find out what went wrong? this is not customer service, this is Dali-like surreality
but it will say delivery successful because they think they've delivered it
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 04:37:17 pm
Subramanian: They can easily find the drivers who made the mistake because the driver must have the parcel in hand but marked the tracking as delivered.
In these cases, they will take action against the drivers and arrange a new delivery in the next delivery days.
Amazon logistics is our own delivery company.
We do respect your feedback on Amazon logistics delivery policy.
I assure you that the feedback will be forwarded to the delivery team and hope they will review customer's feedback, change the procedures in future.
Me: I don't want to be a learning experience, I just want to know where my stuff is
Subramanian: Since it is not with you in your address now, it should have been with the driver or in the delivery van.
You will receive the parcel in the upcoming delivery days, the maximum I ask you to wait is for 48 hours.
If I create a replacement or refund, there are more chances, the parcel will be delivered back to you, you need to return the original parcels.
Or there are some chances, your neighbours might have received the parcels and give it back to you within the next 48 hours.
We've driven this procedure because many customers keep on contacting us that incorrect delivery update orders are being delivered to customers.
Me: right, this is what I want to happen. Can you please email the top secret anonymous distribution centre and ask them to find out from the driver where he has left the stuff? Then when they get back to you, you email me by this time tomorrow to let me know what has happened. If it is on the van still you need to give me a notification of a 1 hour delivery slot because I actually have stuff to do which involves leaving the flat
and I am not prepared to waste all of tomorrow
as well as today
if the driver has left it in another building or another street, he or she needs to tell me where so I Can go and get it
Subramanian: I understand that you want these things to happen.
I'm really sorry to say that these option is not available.
The carrier investigation and re delivery will be happened in the carrier network and they won't reveal the outcome.
Here are the two options:
Please wait till 48 hours to receive the stuffs or
I can issue replacement for Slumberdown All Seasons 15 Tog Combi Duvet- Double Bed, White and issue refund for other.
Me: Amazon Logistics,which is part of Amazon, won't tell Amazon what they've done with the stuff they're supposed to deliver?
Am I on camera? Is this Noel Edmonds?
can't you see how ludicrous this is?
Subramanian: We understand how frustrating this is for you, and the inconvenience this has caused.
I hope you understand that we should stock with the available options and procedures to handle the delivery problems.
I've forwarded the formal complaint about this with Amazon logistics and they will review this delivery.
I hope they will take necessary actions and make sure this won't repeat again.
Me: but you told me you can contact them by email and now you say you can't.
Subramanian: I can send complaints to them but they won't reveal the outcome of the investigation, it will be done internally.
Me: I don't care about a disciplinary investigation of the driver, people make mistakes. I want them to find out where my stuff is and tell me
Subramanian: It is not possible to tell where your parcel is now.
As informed clearly, they won't reveal the investigation outcome.
Is there anything else I can help with?
Me: seriously, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard
and I work for a local authority
Subramanian: One of our aims is to provide a convenient and efficient service and I realise that we have not met that standard in this case. Please accept our apologies.
Me: look I can accept that the courier has put the stuff in the wrong place. We all make mistakes. What I cannot accept is that amazon cannot or will not ask the despatch company to find it, and that even if you did, they wouldn't tell you
Subramanian: To be frank, if I am in your situation, I'll also feel the same.
I hope our transportation team will review the customer complaints about delivery and make necessary changes in future.
If you won't receive the parcels within 48 hours, please contact us we'll issue replacement or refund for the items.
Apart from this, is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: look I realise this hasn't been an easy call for you, and I know you and Raj hate me now, and I'm sorry, I know it's not your faults, I'm just flabbergasted
I hope you get to go home soon
Subramanian: Kirsten, it is our carrier's mistake. We should take responsibility for the mistake. Due to some policy procedures, I'm really sorry that if I was not much of help.
I wish and hope you will receive the items within the specified time period 48 hours.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2016, 06:00:54 pm
Yegods.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2016, 06:12:00 pm
TLDR: Amazon's courier gave my parcels to a complete stranger, can't tell me who or where and say that even if they were able to ask the courier, the courier wouldn't tell them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 29 October, 2016, 06:37:34 pm
EG, if it all falls to bits and you don't get it, I can thoroughly recommend the Duvet Store, wot is based in your fair country, Arbroath, no less.  Very efficient delivery, by DPD. Ours made it all the way down to us on the South Coast, at precisely the time they said.  Shame the duvet covers from a different company (new ones needed 'cos its a super king size, to allow for cats stealing part of it) weren't as snappy arriving, but they are here now, and of course the weather is not fit to dry them after their initial go in the washing machine.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 02 November, 2016, 12:53:07 pm
A total stranger turned up at my door yesterday to say my parcels were delivered to him on Saturday afternoon. He lives on a completely different street; by no means of the imagination is he a neighbour.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 02 November, 2016, 01:00:22 pm
So he was the Fall guy?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 November, 2016, 02:16:22 pm
Have you any idea of his postcode? It might differ from yours by a single character...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 29 December, 2016, 11:16:46 am
Royal Fail.

I saw the postie arrive on my street.  I knew he had a small (tracked) package for me.  So what do I find at the front door?  The dreaded red card with a box ticked for "too large for your letter box".  I was home the entire time, the downstairs neighbours were in the entire time, but I get a card instead of package.  Looks like I'm off to the local (10 min. walk) sorting office first thing tomorrow morning.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but today is the first time I've formally complained.

The next five hours will be spent waiting for Yodel.  Knowing my luck, they'll attempt delivery after I've headed into town later this afternoon.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on 10 January, 2017, 12:07:04 pm
Parcel Farce

new work stand, dispatched on the 4th, at their depot on the 6th.  Supposed delivery attempt yesterday, was it b@ll@ck$, I was in all day except for 10 minutes when I went to the village post office, at which point the wife was in because we have tradesmen at present.
 
Supposedly now out for delivery again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: martint235 on 10 January, 2017, 01:04:24 pm
So I got a text yesterday to say my new iPhone would be delivered by DPD tomorrow (11th) so I arranged a day working from home. Got a text this morning saying it would be delivered today (11th sic) between 11 and 12. Replied to text deferring delivery to tomorrow (11th sic).

Got a phone call at 11.30 from SWMBO (who was coincidentally not meant to be WfH today!!) to say my phone had been delivered but that the driver was confused and thought he had another parcel to deliver tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 10 January, 2017, 06:34:23 pm
Parcel Farce

new work stand, dispatched on the 4th, at their depot on the 6th.  Supposed delivery attempt yesterday, was it b@ll@ck$, I was in all day except for 10 minutes when I went to the village post office, at which point the wife was in because we have tradesmen at present.
 
Supposedly now out for delivery again.

Partner ordered Stuffs from Thomann in Germany just before Christmas.
Tracking stated package was 'Out For Delivery' on Saturday 24 December. Nothing arrived.
We did not leave place until 28 December and package was 'Out for Delivery' over the Bank Holidays but unsurprisingly, nothing arrived.
Left house at 13.30 28 December for 3 days with His Dad.

Package gets delivered to neighbour in our absence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 24 January, 2017, 10:35:10 am
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 25 January, 2017, 08:00:02 am
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 25 January, 2017, 04:24:45 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 25 January, 2017, 05:36:43 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!

And now:
Quote
Your item was processed through a facility in UNITED KINGDOM on January 25, 2017 at 1:15 pm. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Will it arrive in time for The Boy's birthday (Friday), or will he just get a card with a printout of where his present went on its holidays?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 27 January, 2017, 12:12:12 pm
Order stuffs from xkcd. Get email saying here is a USPS tracking number. Watch as stuffs get closer and closer. Logon today to see after arriving Stansted a few days ago, dallying in Heathrow after that, that:

Quote
Your item departed from an intermediate transfer airport in COLOGNE/BONN, COLOGNE, GERMANY

What would Randall have to say?
And today it has just departed Malmo. That's Malmo, Sweden.

You couldn't molish it up!

And now:
Quote
Your item was processed through a facility in UNITED KINGDOM on January 25, 2017 at 1:15 pm. The item is currently in transit to the destination.
Will it arrive in time for The Boy's birthday (Friday), or will he just get a card with a printout of where his present went on its holidays?

And the answer was...he got a card with a printout of the tracking info.

However, looking at the tracking website this morning it shows the item as delivered at 04:19.  Not delivered here it wasn't.  I suspect it means delivered in to the tender care of Royal Mail, but who knows?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 27 January, 2017, 12:49:00 pm
And the answer was...he got a card with a printout of the tracking info.

Randall might like the idea of a well toured item.

I'm now wondering how you could dress this up into an xkcd-like comic, or even a suitable What If question...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 February, 2017, 05:13:43 pm
"Estimated delivery: Thursday February 16, 2017" says DHL's webby SCIENCE.

Doesn't seem very likely, what with it having been sat in Leipzig all sodding day >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 13 March, 2017, 10:31:18 pm
Parcel from Evans, entrusted to Hermes, out for delivery today.
Quote from: Hermes Parcel Tracking
13/03/2017   12:39   Delivered to reception
Who knew that a perfectly ordinary residential address had a reception service?

Did I find a card on the doormat when I got home? Why, no. No, I did not.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 15 March, 2017, 11:47:55 pm
This could be a monster thread!

It is...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: David Martin on 03 May, 2017, 08:46:51 am
We are in the process of having the church renovated (a once in a lifetime major refit). Some of the lighting arrived yesterday. Courier turns up to the Manse. 'It says "Church" on the address, please take it round the front of the church where there will be someone waiting to help you'. The manse is adjacent to the church. Ten minutes later and person at front of church says "Where is the courier?". Turns out he had dumped all the parcels in the contractor container (doors wide open) and made off. Nothing signed for - over £10k of lighting equipment untracked. Fortunately it did all tally with what the company had sent, but someone will be getting a stern talking to.

The joys of the gig economy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 May, 2017, 03:09:08 pm
We are in the process of having the church renovated (a once in a lifetime major refit). Some of the lighting arrived yesterday. Courier turns up to the Manse. 'It says "Church" on the address, please take it round the front of the church where there will be someone waiting to help you'. The manse is adjacent to the church. Ten minutes later and person at front of church says "Where is the courier?". Turns out he had dumped all the parcels in the contractor container (doors wide open) and made off. Nothing signed for - over £10k of lighting equipment untracked. Fortunately it did all tally with what the company had sent, but someone will be getting a stern talking to.

The joys of the gig economy.

[Expletives deleted]
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 03 May, 2017, 03:46:45 pm
DPD courier arrives at the school to do a drop.

Another visitor complains about the DPD driver who cut them up at the entrance to the school, nearly coliding with them.

I talk to DPD driver and explain that if he isn't careful, he will be barred from the site, this banning being enforced by a call to his depot to let them know he is no longer allowed on the grounds.

DPD eejit "Hang on- how do you know it was me? Theres another DPD driver just coming in. It wasn't me it was him" at which point another DPD van arrives at the school.

Fuzzy "I know it was you because a) you were the only DPD van on site when the complaint was raised and b) You are driving the blue DPD van with the registration *******. The other van is red and th wrong registration. Slow down and drive safe please Sir."

DPD eejit leaves the school at a sedate pace, stopping only to direct death glares at the vehicle and driver who complained about him. I wonder how he knew who complained? :facepalm:



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 May, 2017, 06:21:16 pm
APC, who won't deliver on Saturday and don't tell you when their depot is open.  Spa Cycles use them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 06 May, 2017, 01:24:04 pm
Yesterday's no show of my parcel, caused Yodel to upgrade their tracking tool, after I moaned via their chatting tool. So now I can see how many parcels there is before mine will be delivered. At this rate I would need a new keyboard as I hammer F5 into DETH.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 06 May, 2017, 01:32:30 pm
APC, who won't deliver on Saturday and don't tell you when their depot is open.  Spa Cycles use them.

Ooh, that's interesting. Spa Cycles sent a parcel to The Boy, which arrived today (Saturday). They used Royal Mail.  I expect it's a size of parcel issue.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 May, 2017, 06:16:16 pm
It wasn't that big - it had a pair of dropped bars in it.  The depot was open until 12 so I drove up there after my ride.  They don't seem to get nany visitors.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 13 May, 2017, 10:54:30 am
I'm currently waiting for the postie to try and do a 'card and dash' with one of my parcels.

I actually have the parcel as I happened it from the sorting office just now along with three others that aren't tracked, one of which I got a card for a couple days ago. However according to the tracking system my parcel arrived at the delivery office at 06:42 this morning, and was logged as "NO ANSWER - NOT AVAILABLE FOR COLLECTION" at 06:57 this morning.

I'm in today, waiting until Monday will both make it awkward to collect before work and also mean I can't fettle the bike today (new shiny bits).

I'm intending to keep the tracked parcel by the door, then catch them and ask them to deliver it when they turn up, which should be interesting :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 12 June, 2017, 08:56:57 am
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Bromptons are in Avignon at campsite. Courier calls between 12 and 1.30 to collect. Campsite's reception closes at 12. Courier leaves without bikes.

GOTO Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on 11 October, 2017, 09:11:42 pm
Herpes. Just don't.

Hermes / myHermes are quite possibly the worst courier company out there.

Quote
Ham: When you say "Address query" that means it didn't make it to the door
Supervisor: Yes, this means the courier could not find the address. This can be for myriad reasons
Ham: mmmmm. One reason and one reason only - incompetence

Something like the 7th attempt at delivery (allegedly)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2017, 09:43:08 pm
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Bromptons are in Avignon at campsite. Courier calls between 12 and 1.30 to collect. Campsite's reception closes at 12. Courier leaves without bikes.

GOTO Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!

Did they ever get repatriated?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 19 October, 2017, 09:40:57 am
The latest in a series of emails from a colleague..

Quote
Good afternoon All,

Once again APC has surpassed themselves. Turned up twice and the queue was too long so has left!!

He/she is now due to come tomorrow afternoon. I am going to meet them at the guardroom and take my parcel, unless it is too big for my car and they will have to get booked in, I will be with them to vouch for them, and drive round!

Don’t you just love them?

This has been going on for over a week!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mike on 25 October, 2017, 10:38:00 am
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 October, 2017, 11:31:40 am
MyHerpes, who surcharged me £11 for an "oversize" box that had already been through their network THREE TIMES without complaint.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 25 October, 2017, 12:02:27 pm
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.

Ah yes, DPD, or, Don't Plan Deliveries.   
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on 20 November, 2017, 06:13:53 pm
So I stayed in all day today awaiting the promised delivery of a couple of rugs - one measures 11ft by 14ft, so is a little on the heavy side.

Come 6pm, no sign of delivery, so  I call the courier firm, who tell me cheerfully that they delivered five hours ago.  I prod a little more and it emerges, after some checking, that said rugs have been delivered to a house about half a mile from here and signed for by a builder who was working on the house.

Courier firm's response to my expression of dissatisfaction?  "Could you pop round there yourself and collect them?"

Needless to say, my response was negative.  I'm waiting for them to come back with an alternative suggestion.  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on 20 November, 2017, 07:38:24 pm

  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.

I'm going to have  sixpence on Herpes. Not more than sixpence as the odds aren't particularly good, what with the multiplicity of options
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on 20 November, 2017, 09:43:32 pm
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on 20 November, 2017, 10:17:11 pm
Promised delivery within a two hour window? Can I haz my sixpence back? Herpes would never do that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 20 November, 2017, 10:36:16 pm
Two hours is probably how long it will take to board up the window after they’ve been.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on 21 November, 2017, 03:48:18 am
We have a long driveway (600 feet) from the road.  Delivery services have left parcels at:

a) our neighbor's gate adjacent to the road, and sent a photo showing that as "proof" that they delivered to our address (fail);
b) in a plastic bag (nice touch, since box was cardboard and it was raining that day) at our gate, a mere 500 feet from the house;
c) in front of our garage door, carefully placed on the obvious tire tracks, so that we will detect the delivery after driving over it;
d) at our back door (I suppose my design for the house could have put a gate or moat there); and
e) at the front door; about 90% of the time, after we have placed signs directing the delivery staff to it.

The holiday period, when the delivery services bring on additional drivers, always yields more befuddled deliveries
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Redlight on 22 November, 2017, 12:33:49 pm
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....

Well - they got half of it right. They collected the packages from the other address yesterday... and then tried to deliver to me despite having been told that I would be out all day. So I got home at about 9pm to find a note through the door and my very helpful neighbour with her hallway dominated by my packages.

On the positive side - the rugs look good  :D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on 22 November, 2017, 12:52:46 pm
We arrived home to two parcels outside our door, not addressed to us. When we opened the door we found a note saying "We tried to deliver your parcels, your neighbour has them..." err no, there are parcels outside our door.
Now I admit that the numbering of flats within the stairwells is confusing, and if they were simply for a different flat within the stairwell it would be a matter of popping round and leaving a note. However these are for a different stairwell. How do you manage to go into block 15 when your parcel is addressed to block 13?
 
Mr fimm has been in touch with Amazon (for it is they who sent the parcels) but I don't think he had much success. I bet we are going to end up trying to blag our way into block 13 so we can leave a note...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rachel t on 26 November, 2017, 09:21:55 pm
When I spoke to my dad earlier today he told me about his delightful experience with myherpes, he was out yesterday morning & when he got back later my brother who lives at home had already gone out, this morning brother says to dad there was blue card saying parcel at rear of house, brother had had a look no parcel to be found, knowing how great myherpes are & based on last time they delivered a parcel when nobody was in (left in recycle bin card not discovered until after bin men had been), dad opened the recycling bin, no parcel, he next checked the food waste bin, no parcel, finally he checked the general refuse bin, guess what yes the parcel was in the bin, good job he checked them all today as its general bin day tomorrow.  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on 27 November, 2017, 11:30:36 am
Update: Mr fimm went round and delivered the parcels himself.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 27 November, 2017, 03:19:30 pm
I think we should start charging commision for all the parcels we have delivered to their proper recipients due to courier fail.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 22 December, 2017, 01:55:46 pm
Parcelfarce, no you didn't attempt redelivery at 1623 yesterday. I know this because I was here, working away in silence. I think I might have thusly have noticed the van at the bottom of the drive, the knock on the door, the card on the matt etc.

Now I have to fuck about trying (and undoubtedly failing) to get it re-delivered before Christmas because, of course, it's my wife's christmas present.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 22 December, 2017, 05:44:37 pm
No Parcelfarce, I fear you misunderstand. I give you money, you bring the item to me. It doesn't really work if I have to come to you to get it.

As I'm not schlepping over to Sutton, I guess I'll be doing some more shopping.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 22 December, 2017, 06:04:38 pm
Sometimes the boot is on the other foot; I accept many deliveries at work and we have had signs up for the last 3 weeks advising couriers that we would be open today from 9.30 (half an hour earlier than usual opening) until 11.30 (much earlier than usual closing), so imagine my delight when Amazon's 3-rd party numpty driver turns up at 11.37 to be told we were closed. 'See you on 3rd January, kthxbai...'

FWIW, Herpes are by far the shitest of them all. DHL, UPS & Fedex are very good, both in reliability and set up, IME...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 22 December, 2017, 11:18:38 pm
So, Yodle are employed to deliver the supplies of diabetic cat food for Willow. They e mail/ text SWMBO to say that the delivery will be with us twixt 11:00 and 21:00 on the day in question.

At 18:00, some three hors before the latest delvery time, she checks her phone. Text from Yodel says "delivered at 14:35"

Tis a lie. I was in the hoiuse awaiting the delivery. No delivery came. Noone came through the gate between the posytman at 12:15 and SWMBO at 15:15.

SWMBO gets onto live chat (cos phone line was closed) to Yodel. after 45 minutes of hanging around the 'conversation' starts and soon ends with "We will interview the driver and get back to you but the parcel was signed for by Fuzzy"

Bollox calls we. The day after the day in question SWMBO gets on the phone with Yodel and is advised that the parcel was taken to the door and signed for but then realised it was for next door so the driver left it in our porch.

Well, it isn't there says SWMBO. Yodel then advise her we should take it up with our supplier.

Having cogitated on this, we realise a) we don't have a porch and b) why would my next door neighbour sign my name for a parcel they thought was for them?

We were about to get back on the Liedel until a former colleague from the same house number in a different street knocks on my door and hands me a parcel saying it was dumped in their porch.....

I am composing a super nuclear grink for Liedel.

Bastards.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 22 December, 2017, 11:49:10 pm
Enjoy the Grink! I LOVE a good moan!
You have every right to complain!

At least the cat will have food to eat over Christmas...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 23 December, 2017, 12:32:11 am
Got a card today and spent a long time trying to decipher which neighbour it had been left with. Eventually gave up and decided the neighbour would bring it round.

Daughter deciphers the neighbour's name and finds the parcel behind the bins.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 30 December, 2017, 05:51:14 pm
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 31 December, 2017, 04:38:16 pm
I finally re-arranged my pre-Christmas Parcelfarce delivery as they'd given up even pretending to try and deliver it. For Friday. So, of course, they tried to deliver it on Thursday. You know, if I were on Thursday I'd have bloody chosen Thursday.

Fortunately they left it at the local Post Office, which was altogether more sensible than some depot in Sutton.

Anyway, the gin was nice.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 02 January, 2018, 03:28:04 pm
DPD

A parcel was 'delivered' while we were away. MrsC received an email to say it had been delivered to number 11 and signed for by Ivan.

No it bloody hadn't. The courier had shoved a card through the door saying 'parcel in black bin'.
The rubbish bin. Literally dropped in the rubbish bin.

Good thing there wasn't a rubbish collection while we were away
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mattc on 02 January, 2018, 05:09:16 pm
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Sorry, but that's quite funny  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: DuncanM on 02 January, 2018, 05:20:44 pm
Just before Christmas, we received 2 parcels from Amazon - left inside our food waste bin. On top of the (stinky) food waste. :sick: Plus a card that we couldn't read through the door.
It's especially annoying because 2ft from the food waste bin is a small blue door that opens into our garage - delivery people (if they are minded to leave something rather than just take it away again) usually leave stuff in there.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 07 January, 2018, 08:05:59 am
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Sorry, but that's quite funny  ;D
I found that the parcel had been sent with a tracking number, told that to the Post Office, and they haven't got back to me.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 07 January, 2018, 08:52:15 am
Ordered a 20kg sack of bird food 8/12 via eBay, for delivery by UK Mail 12/12.  No show.

Checked tracking a few days later: collected, in transit, delayed.

Chased supplier 1/1/18 via eBay: pls wait a few days

Waited, chased supplier again: pls contact UK Mail with tracking number.  Reluctantly, and after again asking for a refund, I did.

UK Mail:  Supplier never sent it, we never collected it.

Supplier: Lying toads (or words to that effect).  They collected it on 8/12.

Me to supplier 5/1/18:  Refund pls or I'll raise it with eBay.

Deafening silence from supplier, so when eBay ask if the matter us resolved, it ain't.  Sorry supplier, I asked you twice for a refund, you haven't, so expect the big stick from eBay. I know it's not your fault, but my contract with you includes delivery, and you've not delivered, so you are in breach of contract.

EDIT 8/1:  Apparently UK Mail have found it, and as a peace offering they'll deliver it before 1200 tomorrow.  I can't wait.......
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 07 January, 2018, 11:05:26 pm
It isn't always the courier. Sometimes it is the supplier.

Twice last week we recieved deliveries for someone else-

One was a staff purchase for another shop and was just a packing mix up.

The other was parts for a job. The delivery we recieved had our delivery address label attached to it, next to the consignment label which had the correct destination on it- another bike shop in Aakmarl, Netherlands. I guess our spares for a workshop job are enjoying a short continental break ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 08 January, 2018, 12:25:45 pm
Just before crimbo a $jolly-large-distributor sent me two parcels, both refurbished suspension components, both jolly expensive repair bills, neither of them mine.

It's not the first time either. No point in trying to claim them as TNT would simply produce the POD and I'd be in lumber.

They also sent me an account statement around the same time showing a credit in my favour. When I queried this it turned out to be somebody else's money. Good job I didn't try and spend it.

Maybe Fuzzy & I need a 'Shite Distributors' thread . . .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 January, 2018, 12:42:53 pm
Did grink DPD the other day after one of their vans roared by at stupid speed and then proceeded to try and get up the steeper bit of the lane beyond ours by spinning its wheels frantically. I would have minded less had I been more than 10 cm away and walking up that lane. I believe the cloud of smoke from under the bonnet was the soul of his clutch departing. Apparently it wasn't my problem because 'he wasn't delivering to me.'

Got the boilerplate response, so I'm not overly hopefully they'll have some words, though they really should.

Never got around to grinking Parcelfarce for pre-christmas lies. Life is too short.

In other news, I like Hermes. There, I said it. They bring a lot of my beer and our bunch seems to be a wife-and-husband team (I presume some kind of franchise) who are uncommonly helpful.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 20 January, 2018, 11:26:43 am
For some reason despite the big sign on front door in my very tidy handwriting saying 'leave with neighbour if a signature is required' RM took my parcel back to the post office to collect. Mildly annoying, since next door is obviously a lot closer than a twenty minute round trip by foot.

So, I wander down this morning, grab my parcel and return home. On the mat there's another RM 'sorry you are not home' card. So, yes, my second parcel will now be at the PO for collection. Worse, the van passed me as I walked up the hill. Taunting me, I tell you.

Le sigh. I guess they don't do the leave with the neighbour thing even though there's a space on the card to say they've done just that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jakob W on 20 January, 2018, 01:22:28 pm
Our postie sometimes leaves stuff with the neighbours, and occasionally signs for stuff and shoves it through the letterbox if it will fit. It does seem to be random as to whether parcels are left for pickup at the local post office (5 minutes walk away) or at the sorting office in town (20 minutes each way).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 20 January, 2018, 01:47:18 pm
They always used to, I assume it's the same postie. I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the big sign. Our neighbour's front door isn't far away, it's not like I live on a country estate, and she's an older retired lady and mostly in, so quite handy for that sort of thing.

It's one of those things, something worth a £5 ends up going through this rigmarole. If it's worth a couple of hundred quid they'll leave on the front step in full view all day. Reminds me that the RM still have a key to my garage (actually it's the passage under the house, which looks like a garage but isn't), they used to leave all the mailbags there for the postie to deliver (for the princely sum, I think, of £95 year). Anyway, they stopped a few years back and now do everything in a single van which seems a lot less efficient. No idea if they're still paying me the £95.

And now, I have another parcel (don't ask, when I do any shopping I do it all at once) out for delivery with Hermes (so says the email that plinked into my inbox earlier). I was hoping for some kind of tracking but it helpfully says between 1400-1800 which isn't very specific. Oh well, I probably won't be here for that one either. Oh well, I hate going to shops, so this is my punishment.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 20 January, 2018, 07:28:31 pm
Score for Hermes, much derided in these parts, but they manage to deliver my parcels with consistent aplomb. Read the note and put it in the right place, even under the box that I put out and wrote 'parcel under here, thanks' to keep the rain off.

See, Royal Mail, it's not that hard. And I note they've randomly left the lastest parcel at the sorting office and not the PO. That's even further (about three minutes admittedly).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 20 January, 2018, 07:41:38 pm
Royal Mail don't seem to bother with signatures here if they can fit it through the letterbox.   This includes tracked documents etc.
We've finally trained RM, Yodel et al not to let themselves in to leave stuff on the kitchen table.  Seems that was the deal with previous occupants.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 22 January, 2018, 06:13:49 pm
Sat in the house, waiting for two separate deliveries.

PING!!  email

PING!!  email

Quote
Amazon Logistics attempted to deliver your package but couldn't leave it unattended. They will make another delivery attempt the next day.

Quote
Amazon Logistics attempted to deliver your package but couldn't leave it unattended. They will make another delivery attempt the next day.

The instructions say to follow the details on the card they left. Which they didn't.

Why lie? Why not just say, "sorry, we've been unable to deliver today"?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 22 January, 2018, 06:41:29 pm
Presumably it's the driver not bothering with all the palaver of stopping and knocking on your door rather than Amazon High Command. They probably think they did try.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 22 January, 2018, 07:09:44 pm
I think after the 15 min phone call they no longer think they did try  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 22 January, 2018, 10:28:37 pm
I read this morning of Valiant's tribulations at the hands of one spectacular fuckwit who works for REDACTED.

If you're in touch on SoshullMeeja you will doubtless have read it.

TL/DR SIX attempts in FIVE days for ONE 'overnight' delivery. Excuses included 'not being able to find Limehouse Town Hall'

Think Sam wins the thread - if not the entire intarwebbzzzzz.....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 22 January, 2018, 10:32:08 pm
I read this morning of Valiant's tribulations at the hands of one spectacular fuckwit who works for REDACTED.

If you're in touch on SoshullMeeja you will doubtless have read it.

TL/DR SIX attempts in FIVE days for ONE 'overnight' delivery. Excuses included 'not being able to find Limehouse Town Hall'

Think Sam wins the thread - if not the entire intarwebbzzzzz.....

I too read of Sam's tribulations on Bookface. I think most of his trouble lies with one rogue driver, which does not exonerate the courier company...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 23 January, 2018, 12:45:45 am
What I don’t understand is why they choose this course of action, when it’s a lot easier just to deliver the stuff.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 28 January, 2018, 06:35:28 pm
Considering that delivery is a key part of this entire internet economy thing, it's a surprise it's still so shit and I still get things like 'your parcel will be delivered at some point in the next three days' or some entirely useless nonsense. Honestly, how hard is to track these shipments in real-time? Surely there's an app for that. I can track taxis and bloody planes, why not a delivery van.

Anyway, I ordered four things recently, as mentioned upthread. One was delivered fine (Hermes), two I had to collect myself from the depot (Royal Mail), and one has yet to appear so I assume has been lost. I don't even have a tracking number which doesn't help. If it's been delivered, it's not been delivered here. I remember the last time this happened and the vendor said 'are you sure it's not been delivered?' I'm not phoning you because I'm lonely. Eventually they sent another one and then two weeks later RM delivered the original 'lost' item. I've no idea where it went for four weeks.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 28 January, 2018, 07:40:43 pm
DPD give you an hour slot and do an element of tracking, and ParcelFarce seem to give you an hour slot (then change it by text so you are in the shower when they turn up).

The tech is there, I imagine it is about paying for it that is the real issue. Why pay for software and hardware to deliver properly when you can throw the stuff over a fence. Or put it in the bin on bin night, which Amashun did last week. Just as well I read the card properly (which I thought was gong to say left with blah-blah neighbour - as that is what the arrangement was...)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 29 January, 2018, 11:24:19 am
DPD are probably the best for tracking, unfortunately in my experience, their drivers seem to think they're on a getaway from a major bank heist.

I'd mind less if it was 'free P&P' but when it's £2.99 on top of a £12 item. Seems to be straight-to-post RM hence no tracking (possibly, I didn't set up an account as a vendor, so the 'track your item' link takes me to a blank account page). I seem to recall my wife's christmas gin ended up back the PO with no card left (because they never tried to redeliver it, that was a just a lie), though that at least had a tracking link that told me it was there.

Anyway, they're 'looking into it.' If I run out of garishly coloured fountain pen ink, it'll be a major #firstworldproblem.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 29 January, 2018, 11:58:32 am
Well, they apparently either lost it or someone at RM is now a nicely regal shade of dark purple.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2018, 07:14:57 pm
Grauniad POBI story. Very sad.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/feb/05/courier-who-was-fined-for-day-off-to-see-doctor-dies-from-diabetes?CMP=share_btn_tw (https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/feb/05/courier-who-was-fined-for-day-off-to-see-doctor-dies-from-diabetes?CMP=share_btn_tw)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 05 February, 2018, 07:26:14 pm
I just put it in on-the-road. Sad very, but I'm a bit concerned that despite the fact it seemed that both he and DPD knew he had very poorly controlled diabetes, he kept driving.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2018, 07:47:37 pm
I too am concerned about that aspect.
This chap drove and died within a couple of miles of where David & I were in early January.

There are many very dodgy drivers in that part of the world; I have treated them as a doctor, David's Dad continued driving too long IMO and the Bournemouth Daily Echo frequently reports mishaps.

[OT] This one is within a furlong of David's Dad http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/15919855.Police_called_to_three_car_crash_on_Barrack_Road_in_Christchurch/?ref=mr&lp=26 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/15919855.Police_called_to_three_car_crash_on_Barrack_Road_in_Christchurch/?ref=mr&lp=26).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on 13 February, 2018, 02:46:22 pm
Effing Royal Mail. You would think that "Signed for "  was pretty safe but you would be wrong.
The fuckwits obv. think that "Signed for" means valuable when every one else on the planet knows that Ebay virtually demands that you use a trackable method of delivery otherwise when the buyer claims that they haven't received an item , the sender needs proof of receipt to contest the claim.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 16 February, 2018, 12:14:46 pm
While on the subject of Royal Mail, a package posted in Wellingborough on 31 Jan arrived at Castle Guy yesterday. That's 2 1/2 weeks to cover a distance I can ride in 2 1/2 hours!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on 18 February, 2018, 06:42:38 am
one USAnian delivery service, "OnTrac", hires drivers who think that our gate posts -- about 500 feet away from our house -- are the front door, and leave packages out there.  They also seem to be trained to believe cardboard boxes are waterproof.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 09 March, 2018, 02:23:01 pm
DPD.

I ordered a drone from a company in Manchester on Tuesday and by Wednesday their order system showed the order as completed a few hours later the DPD tracking system acknowledged the tracking number and that they had 'received details of your order' and the Where has your parcel been showed Manchester and Your parcel is on its way.

As I was not at home yesterday I used their tracking system to tell them this and that I'd like delivery today, so their system now shows that my parcel will be delivered today. But as nothing else has changed on their system, I'm not confident that the parcel will arrive today, which is a shame because its a birthday present to me (from me :D) for tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 29 March, 2018, 09:50:43 am
Parcel Farce

I got a txt this morning telling me that Gary will deliver my package between 08:00 and 09:00.  For the best part of the past hour Gary's van is showing on the live tracker as being just around the corner. 

Fucktards.  Liars.  Scum.    >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 29 March, 2018, 10:45:38 am
So, live tracking is now not working.  They cannot contact the driver and thus they have no idea when my parcel will be delivered.

The manager was most put out when I emphasised that I wished to complain about their shite tracking process and erroneous information and NOT about the driver who is presumably out doing his job.  Oh, and about the call that I will undoubtedly have to pay for chasing them up.

As I type I get a call from Kirsty at Coventry.  She was very apologetic and tells me that in fact my parcel will not be delivered before 1:30p.m. and that the van is nowhere near me at present in spite of the fictional live tracker.   WTF ???

Naturally I thanked Kirsty for being very helpful and emphasised once again the basis of my complaint which she can put directly into the system for me.  Contradicts earlier information from 'customer service'. 

Parcel Farce indeed. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 29 March, 2018, 10:55:21 am
The most obvious answer is that the parcel wasn't actually in Gary's van as it was supposed to be.

The live tracker (of Gary's van, not your parcel) was almost certainly correct as Gary was probably stopped just around the corner searching his van for your parcel which should have been there as you were next on his list of drops.

It's probably in another van (or back at the depot) hence the later delivery time.

They cannot contact the driver and thus they have no idea when my parcel will be delivered.

Translated: "They've spoken to the driver and the driver can't find the parcel."
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 29 March, 2018, 12:16:57 pm
Well, I could see this but the very fact that the tracker put the van round the corner for an hour, we checked twice and it wasn't there makes me think that this isn't the case.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 29 March, 2018, 02:18:52 pm
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 29 March, 2018, 02:36:59 pm
Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

The tracker page will just show the position of the last update received. It's not "live" live. My guess is that he was there, couldn't find the package and hit some button that disabled further location updates whilst it was all sorted out (probably to hide the fact he was returning to the depot). The website is just showing the location of his last update. Back at the depot he would have got it sorted, enabled the location updates again and he suddenly jumps to being on his route.

There's plenty of reasons why you wouldn't put exact tracking information on the Internet. For example, if you could see exactly where his drops were you'd have a good chance of finding a bunch of parcels left in bin sheds or on doorsteps.

Anyway, glad it's sorted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 29 March, 2018, 11:30:06 pm
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

When I first read that I thought Polar Bear had just taken delivery of a new fat bike........
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 30 March, 2018, 11:28:56 am
That 'working in a bike shop' thing is getting to you . . .  ;D

It's all good.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 30 March, 2018, 11:44:20 am
The surly Gary just arrived.  Good call Greenbank insofar as at 8:30 this morning he was just around the corner and that he 'had to go somewhere else' for reason(s) not specified.

Why the tracker showed him there for over an hour remains a mystery.

When I first read that I thought Polar Bear had just taken delivery of a new fat bike........

Nope  A new pair of bins.  Lovely they are too.  Opticron Countryman 12x50 (https://www.wexphotovideo.com/opticron-countryman-bga-hd-12x50-roof-prism-binoculars-1557393/).   I think that I may have got the last pair.   8)

I know what some knowledgeable folk will say about lens ratios and field of vision but actually these bins do what I need them for and that's the very important bit.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on 30 March, 2018, 11:52:56 am
I know what some knowledgeable folk will say about lens ratios and field of vision but actually these bins do what I need them for and that's the very important bit.   :thumbsup:
Our very serious birdwatching friends never recommend specific binoculars. They always say to go and try out as many as you can and find the ones which work for you. And this is from someone who will spend £1500 on bits of kit.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on 30 March, 2018, 06:54:02 pm
We get our bins from the council . Red green and black  ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 30 March, 2018, 08:09:18 pm
We get our bins from the council . Red green and black  ;)

My bins are see-through!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 07 April, 2018, 06:41:47 am
Ordered two things last week. From the same supplier, on the same order. They were given one tracking number. That tracking number showed on the tracking page as 1 box, to be delivered by Yodel. My heart sunk; as most likely I was now set on a course of anger management spread over 12 hours, with added missing postcard.

In the middle of the day the doorbell rang and one box was delivered by a DPD driver. I asked the driver about the other box. Shaky head time.

Some time later the door bell rang again and an unbranded delivery service delivered the second box, just as I was checking the tracking of the parcel again.

A little while later the door bell rang again and the same driver delivered another box, from a different supplier, that he’d forgotten.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Hot Flatus on 07 April, 2018, 07:00:12 am
As long as they all get delivered whilst Mrs Jaded is still at work you can count it as a success  ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PeteB99 on 23 April, 2018, 01:15:41 pm
Just had a hit and run from DPD

I was upstairs changing the bed linen when the doorbell went. By the time I'd got down stairs and opened the front door a sorry we missed you note had been posted and the driver and van had gone. Must have been all of 40 seconds.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 April, 2018, 01:53:43 pm
I am expecting DPD between 14.12 and 15.12.

I am watching driver's progress and will migrate to door when it's 3 stops away.

I may be some time...

ETA 1) 14.00  Still waiting. I am #77. Scant van progress with #76 less than a mile away.

ETA 2) 15.15 States parcel was delivered and signed for at 15.05 by 'VBAR' who is unknown to us...
On hold, phoning DPD...

ETA 3) 16.04 Item arrived at 16.00. I had spent AGES on hold to DPD by then. No phone numbers are given on their website; had to resort to Google Maps for that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on 05 May, 2018, 10:48:57 am
I had to return my Wahoo Bolt to Wiggle to be replaced under warranty (already agreed with Wahoo), so I used their CollectPlus returns service.

Took the parcel to a CollectPlus store last Sunday morning & it was collected from there on Sunday evening.  Since then it's been sitting in their warehouse for 5 days and say it won't be delivered to Wiggle until Tuesday at the earliest. 

When I spoke to their CS chap I was told that for companies like Wiggle they will allow returns to build up until they fill a container (or whatever) to make fewer trips.  Great from their point of view but not from mine!

Even allowing for the bank holiday on Monday, that's a total of 9 days to deliver a package from central London to wherever Wiggle are (not far, I assume).  That's crap IMO.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on 21 May, 2018, 09:27:24 pm
Was supposed to be receiving   a signed for package from Wiggle today ( a 1L bottle of joe's no tubes sealant).

Watching the yodel tracking webpage count down till I'm the 2nd in line for delivery.

Except the last tracking message states that my package was refused on the doorstep due to being damaged at 15:59pm today.  Except no one was at my door!

Then magically between 7pm and 9pm a tesco carrier bag was left on my doorstep with my opened leaky parcel with a soggy bottom covered in joes sealant.

 ???

I had already contacted wiggle earlier this evening, explaining my parcel had apparently been refused on the doorstep. Wiggles response was that they had ran out of the sealant, so do I wish to cancel the order for a full refund?  Yes I replied.

And now the order turns up, albiet in a soggy mess of leaky sealant.  Which kind of somes up my previous trial of tubeless conversion on my mtb with a joes no tubes kit (non tubeless rims & non tubeless ready tyres) - I had ordered the extra sealant inc ase the conversion was a success so I'd always have sealant to hand.

So perhaps this is fate telling me to just stick to ye olde worlde inner tubes!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 22 May, 2018, 09:33:09 am
Ordered some garden furniture from B&Q. I was given a delivery day of last Thursday - about a week after the order was placed, but, whatever.
B&Q website says that the delivery window is 8am to 6pm  - about 4:20pm I start getting a bit twitchy, so I rang the B&Q curiously named helpline, who helpfully informed me that, no, it wasn't going to be delivered today, and, no, they didn't know where it was, or when it was going to be delivered. It was with DX couriers somewhere between Wolverhampton and Nottingham, but it had left Wolverhampton the previous day and never arrived.
I had a bit of blood pressure and got an offer of a delivery the following Wednesday (tomorrow) 6 days after the original delivery date.  A bit more blood pressure, with a threat to cancel the order, I got a promise to deliver it on the Monday. This was realistically the best I was going to get - so I accepted.
Come about 6:30 on the day of the original delivery I get a text from DX telling me that my scheduled delivery has been cancelled. What F:::ing scheduled delivery?
Anyway the stuff was delivered as promised on Monday.
I await B&Qs response to my green ink email.

Sent from my Moto E (4) Plus using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 May, 2018, 07:40:07 pm
I am expecting DPD between 14.12 and 15.12.

I am watching driver's progress and will migrate to door when it's 3 stops away.

I may be some time...

ETA 1) 14.00  Still waiting. I am #77. Scant van progress with #76 less than a mile away.

ETA 2) 15.15 States parcel was delivered and signed for at 15.05 by 'VBAR' who is unknown to us...
On hold, phoning DPD...

ETA 3) 16.04 Item arrived at 16.00. I had spent AGES on hold to DPD by then. No phone numbers are given on their website; had to resort to Google Maps for that.

Got my on-line phone bill today. (BT landline with Any time add-ons)
My calls to DPD that day totalled £4.38 and I never even spoke to anyone!

GRR!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 24 May, 2018, 07:58:42 pm
Our-favourite-telco should offer a tariff for people who spend a lot of time on hold to idiot organisations...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 May, 2018, 08:26:26 pm
They are MINTING it with this! They won't give this nice little earner up.

GGGRRR!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 31 May, 2018, 01:14:25 pm
Expecting dpd between 15.00 and 16.00...

ETA I think this is the same Jason from DPD who 'disappeared' with the cat litter last month.

Today's delivery is a Thing from Fruit. I've booked the 15.00-16.00 slot.
13.45 Jason is about a mile away, on delivery 88.

I am supposedly #120...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Robert S. Thorn on 31 May, 2018, 01:43:25 pm
Parcel Force are exceptionally incompetent in my experience.  I think that I'll have to ask suppliers to use My Hermes as they seem to be the best of the bunch round here.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 31 May, 2018, 02:00:13 pm
I suspect Jason might be better-paid for a timed Fruit Thing than untimed cat litter. Fruit Thing might just arrive within the slot.

Jason spends AGES round Camrose Avenue!

ETA Jason delivered Fruit at 15.28. Fruit delivery did not seem to interrupt the conversation he was having into his brick-sized phone.

Jason's van and polo shirt were pale blue, in DPD livery.

I was expecting red.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 31 May, 2018, 09:57:24 pm
Blue is DPD Local, formerly known as Interlink Express.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 01 June, 2018, 01:12:13 am
Which explains why it's been Jason at least twice and his TINY patch...

I have not tracked him outside HA8.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 06 June, 2018, 03:40:56 pm
Today was a bit special. There's a note on my door that says 'please knock, if no reply please put parcels under the box behind the porch.'

I don't think these are especially difficult to follow instructions. Except he (a) didn't knock, otherwise I'd have heard him and (b) I wouldn't have found a pile of parcels on the front step with the box from behind the porch balanced on top of them. The wrong way up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 15 June, 2018, 01:14:33 pm
Heremes, its always Hermes. Just looked at the tracking site and they say they attempted to deliver my package 5 minutes ago and will now try again in 24 hours. No they bloody didn't. I've been sat here waiting and in fact too delivery of something else from UK Mail ten minutes ago. Mo card and no dog going mad because some ones in the drive. They just haven't been at all
Luckily it was a non urgent parcel..
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on 28 June, 2018, 11:45:54 am
DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on 03 July, 2018, 08:25:50 am
DX....

I paid £12.95 for overnight delivery but my item has been stuck in Rotherham since 3.37am on the 25th.... I make that several overnights ago.

Not best pleased as without the item I can't finish refitting my office.

Just to update this...the item had not arrived by Friday so I emailed the seller, a large online retailer twice and was ignored twice. So, as I had paid via Paypal I contacted them for a refund. The seller spring into action and tracked the item... well claimed to have spoken to the parcel company who said that they had never received the item despite there being a tracking record of them doing so.

So, lost parcel...would I like another one?

My reply was a no. Frankly, why should I trust the company again, especially when the lost item was.... a 3m long piece of carpet...... got to say, that takes some losing!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 July, 2018, 03:11:12 pm
UPS (which I think stands for Utter Pile of Shite).

Went through tortuous online process on Monday to change delivery date to today.  They even wrote to me via snail mail to give me activation details (although the site seems to work anyway).  No package, turns out they delivered it to a not-very local shop on Tuesday and ignored the instructions.

Ordure-liveried American incompetents.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 07 August, 2018, 11:00:20 am
Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 07 August, 2018, 12:14:05 pm
Parcelfarce have apparently left a package with a neighbour while we were away over the weekend.  I know this because their website shows a signature and a name I don't recognise.

No card through the door, no clue as to which of the many - mostly empty - houses it might be.

SJS got a surprisingly prompt answer from Parcelfarce, and the parcel turned out to be at no. n-7 (several houses down on the other side of the road).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 07 August, 2018, 01:31:56 pm
Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 07 August, 2018, 02:06:25 pm
Anything that involves removing your trousers is bound to make the courier turn up.  It's like rain and barbecues.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Peter on 07 August, 2018, 02:30:10 pm
Parcelfarce sent me a notification saying between 09:00 and 10:00
They sent me another saying between 08:57 and 09:57

They arrived at 08:45. I was in the shower.

And it's not even a leap year.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 07 August, 2018, 04:09:45 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mcshroom on 20 August, 2018, 09:13:25 pm
Hermes' latest version of "delivered" today involved shoving my parcel under the windward side of my car bumper in the rain. It's a good job neither item inside was sensitive to being soaked! :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 11 September, 2018, 03:15:01 pm
I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports. (http://automatic-diary.blogspot.com/2018/09/day-21-battle-mountain-nv.html)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 September, 2018, 05:35:11 am
I reckoned it was probably worth mentioning the DHL Soup Dragon saga here.  Mr Larrington reports. (http://automatic-diary.blogspot.com/2018/09/day-21-battle-mountain-nv.html)

It arrived in the end, possibly because DHL decided to pull their collective finger out on hearing that there was a CNN crew at the event*.  They finally managed to get it on a "special" flight to Reno, where the team found it had been given a thoroughly good kicking in transit, requiring an all-nighter by a Several of fettlers to get back into something akin to the shape it had been when it left the UK.

* Not a news crew, mind, but no-one was going to tell that to the lying workshy twats at DHL.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 September, 2018, 01:43:20 pm
DPD, can you tell me what is the point of having an app on my phone that informs me 'my' driver is Dave and he will deliver between 11:23 and 12:23 . Then for that same app to inform me at 12:20 that Dave is 30 minutes away. Only for me to check the app on the no show of Dave at 13:00 only for that very same app to inform me that I am the next of Dave’s deliveries and he will deliver in 1:33 minutes. Oh, and the little icon that represents Dave on the little map seems to be in Norwich, so that at least is consistent with the latest time update.

It’s just as well I’ve not made plans especially to be in over lunch time to receive the parcel. You shower of incompetent shits.

And now their app,is telling me that my parcel was refused! No it fucking well wasn’t. When your driver was supposed to be delivering it according to his schedule, he was in actual fact in Norwich 60 miles away.  >:( >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 21 September, 2018, 02:39:29 pm
I think know DPD drivers seem very 'creative' with their delivery data.

Bad luck Beardy!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 September, 2018, 04:11:06 pm
I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 16 October, 2018, 08:53:16 pm
I have a not-crap story...

My lunchtime ride yesterday was plagued by multiple p*nctures for reasons I don't need to go into here.
My companion set off back to work, to collect a car to rescue me.

In the meantime, as I was waiting around, a DPD van pulled up and asked if I was OK, and offered to take me pretty much anywhere.
The driver was, of course, a cyclist.

So if your DPD delivery is running late, perhaps the driver is doing a bit of off-piste cyclist recovery...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 16 October, 2018, 11:17:36 pm
I have to take some of that back because it’s not entirely DPDs fault. The address is correct for delivery and payment but the post code of the apple emporium in Norwich has appeared from somewhere to replace my post code in the delivery address field. This has obviously happened automatically because I don’t know the post code of the apple store. Part of the blame therefore has to go to Apple for having a system that a) auto populates a field  and b) allows a post code and an address that doesn’t match. DPD can’t be completely absolved of responsibility though, because the were the ones who obviously didn’t read the delivery address.
I’m also going to have to accept part of the blame I suppose for not thoroughly checking the addresses rather than just glancing at them
Arse.

[OT for this thread]
Big Businesses seem to have strange databases.

I pay my electricity bill by Bank Transfer when I receive a paper bill. (I like to have a paper Proof of Address.)
My bank will not accept the sort code the electricity company gives me and automagically 'corrects' the details I attempt to enter.

The money seems to go to the right place and I've not been disconnected yet.
But it seems impossible to enter the 'right' details!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 17 October, 2018, 09:10:05 am
Three little letters. S. A. P.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Legs on 22 October, 2018, 10:33:10 am
Postie,

When you deliver my Bluetooth speaker prize (did I mention that I won PopMaster (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=62680.625) on Friday?) it would be useful if you actually came to the door, rather than just leaving a missed delivery note in the letterbox.  My wife was in the kitchen.  Was it just that you couldn't be bothered to carry it?

kthanxbai
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Deano on 08 November, 2018, 12:26:18 pm
UK Mail/DHL

What a pile of shit.

Message received 31/10/18 advising they'd attempt delivery.

I wasn't in (fair enough). No card was left when I got home, though.

Message received 01/11/18 saying they'd again attempt delivery.

I was in, but no one came, and no one left a card.

I go onto their website, and I was pleased to see that the depot is just around the corner, rather than Bloody Miles Away. But I can't collect it without the delivery card (which they haven't left).

The website takes me round in circles while I try to get it delivered to a local shop. I give up.

A couple of days later, and they haven't attempted to contact me, and I go onto their website again, go round in a few more circles, and eventually send them an email. Automated reply received saying they'd contact me within one working day.

Over a working day later, and having received no reply from UK Mail/DHL, I contact the sender telling them to get the courier to pull their finger out.

Today, I try again, as according to the site my parcel is still at the depot. Buried on the website is a phone number, and after going through the usual rigmarole, an automated voice tells me it's been returned to the sender.

Fucksake.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 10 November, 2018, 10:29:53 pm
When you deliver my Bluetooth speaker prize (did I mention that I won PopMaster (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=62680.625) on Friday?) it would be useful if you actually came to the door, rather than just leaving a missed delivery note in the letterbox.  My wife was in the kitchen.  Was it just that you couldn't be bothered to carry it?

Contract staff (more and more common as Christmas approaches) aren't allowed to deliver real parcels (for fear they will steal them), so they are sent out to deliver the 'Sorry we were unable to deliver it' cards instead, and you have to go get it from the nearby/far-away sorting office.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 11 November, 2018, 01:47:18 pm
Has anyone mentioned Postman Pat (https://twitter.com/Cain_Unable/status/1061173112719454208)?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on 19 November, 2018, 06:39:47 pm
Has anyone used Collectplus as a delivery point?
I have sent an item by Hermes and they have a signature from the receiving shop.
The recipient confirms that he has had an email confirming delivery . That email is triggered by the parcel being scanned in but the shop concerned can’t find the parcel.
I don’t see how it’s my problem - BUT this is a flea bay sale and often they side with the buyer.
Any thoughts?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 19 November, 2018, 08:51:29 pm
Yodel. “Your parcel has been left in the porch”. We don’t have a porch. Left in plain view of the street, outside the front door, open to the elements. Despite neighbours either side being home. Class.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on 20 November, 2018, 12:38:20 pm
Has anyone used Collectplus as a delivery point?
I have sent an item by Hermes and they have a signature from the receiving shop.
The recipient confirms that he has had an email confirming delivery . That email is triggered by the parcel being scanned in but the shop concerned can’t find the parcel.
I don’t see how it’s my problem - BUT this is a flea bay sale and often they side with the buyer.
Any thoughts?

Funny you should say that, it appears that eBay has an odd arrangement with Collectplus.

Until a few days ago, I though that CollectPlus was a delivery service, when it arrived at the target you got an email with a barcode to collect.

Mrs Ham bought something off ebay for me as  a surprise, but forgot to log me out of eBay so I got all the notifications. When it hadn't arrived I contacted the seller, who said it had been delivered to the store. Neither Mrs Ham nor I had any email with barcode, so she rocked up at the store and asked if they had anything for her. "eBay?" quoth the assistant, raising his eyebrows at the answer. Came back out with an armload of parcels, looked for Mrs Ham's name, handed it over without any check or electronic tracking. Turns out it was sent second class post, tracked, that's all. Connection with Collect Plus appears as tenuous as sending it to a random shop on a high street.

sounds like there's a bit of a disaster building up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on 20 November, 2018, 02:09:58 pm
Fortunately for me, eBay have acknowledged to the buyer that the parcel has been delivered to the address that he quoted. They used the tracking number that I had entered on the item sold/ dispatched bit.
The buyer then asked me for the tracking number.  :facepalm:
Does sound like Collectplus operators need to get their act together .
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ham on 20 November, 2018, 06:10:00 pm

Does sound like Collectplus operators need to get their act together .

No, it sounds like CollectPlus and eBay have entered into an agreement is totally impractical and hasn't been thought through.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 21 November, 2018, 07:47:36 am
I nominate Hermes. They were supposed to have delivered a parcel from Wiggle between
12 and 6 pm on Fri 2nd Nov (that was the time they allocated to me). At 5:52 I heard some
noise outside my house. There was a 'package' addressed for no.72 (about 30 yards from
my house) in my porch. I had to take it to no.72.


By 6 pm my parcel hadn't been delivered. I received a text message from Hermes to say
that they had delivered my Wiggle parcel and to check the parcel number (provided in the
text) on their website.


I checked the Hermes website and saw a photograph of something that appeared to the back
of the headrest in a car. It wasn't the parcel I was expecting. In my opinion, the Hermes
delivery driver attempted to steal my parcel. I managed to contact someone on their chat link
and advised them to look at the picture that was uploaded and stated that it wasn't my
expected parcel. I also complained to Wiggle that their courier of choice had failed to provide
my next-day delivery.


My parcel arrived 24 hours late, and to this date Hermes have not accepted the fact that their
driver failed to deliver my parcel on time and fraudulently uploaded a photo with a gps tag
for my address claiming to have delivered.


Wiggle weren't much help either.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 21 November, 2018, 10:07:11 am
The joys of online shopping......
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 21 November, 2018, 10:18:55 am
I seem to have taught all our couriers to use the box I put behind the porch (just a bog standard plastic box and sealed lid, large enough to keep an average parcel dry and located out of the view of the street). Other than the incident where the courier went around and get the box, upturned it on the porch steps and used it as a display pedestal for our parcel, of course, but that was a bit of a one-off. I guess we have a limited number of couriers covering the area so we get the same drivers over and over. Previous to this, they always used to take the bloody parcel back to the depot (for some reason never leaving with our neighbour).

I do now have magic cameras that trigger on the driveway and in the porch so I can see what they're up to.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 November, 2018, 10:26:16 am
Has anyone mentioned Postman Pat (https://twitter.com/Cain_Unable/status/1061173112719454208)?

Priceless! But don't follow the link unless you have time on your hands!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: simonp on 21 November, 2018, 10:50:32 am
I nominate Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 November, 2018, 10:54:08 am
Hermes, round here at least, seem to sub-contract the last leg to individuals so I guess the quality of service depends on your local driver. Round here ours is very good.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 21 November, 2018, 10:55:49 am
Hermes, round here at least, seem to sub-contract the last leg to individuals so I guess the quality of service depends on your local driver. Round here ours is very good.

Same here, it's a husband and wife team (I presume it's a franchise thing) and they're chatty when I'm around and know The Box. Which is important, as they seem to bring most of my beer.

Our regular postie seems to bring the RM parcels.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 30 November, 2018, 02:27:25 pm
Attempting to send faulty item back to manufacturer. They arranged for DHL to collect it today, which was fortunate as I have the day off. Collection window was 9am-2pm. Have they turned up? No. Of course not. I was planning on going to Ikea today, and instead I've wasted the day sitting around waiting for DHL to fail to materialise. >:( (On the plus side, the bathroom's really clean and I did some baking...)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 30 November, 2018, 03:06:46 pm
Attempting to send faulty item back to manufacturer. They arranged for DHL to collect it today, which was fortunate as I have the day off. Collection window was 9am-2pm. Have they turned up? No. Of course not. I was planning on going to Ikea today, and instead I've wasted the day sitting around waiting for DHL to fail to materialise. >:( (On the plus side, the bathroom's really clean and I did some baking...)

They finally arrived. Now the waiting continues, as UPS are supposed to be delivering a parcel...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 November, 2018, 03:17:39 pm
I had five deliveries yesterday, one by Royal Mail and 4 by DPD, in different vans, at different times. Efficiency in action!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on 30 November, 2018, 11:40:33 pm
Amazon purchases in the US of A

Sometimes delivered by one of three services, and sometimes by the Postal Service (cycling nexus: Lance's old sponsor) under arrangements where the delivery service moves it most of the way in their big truck, then hands off to USPS to get it to the delivery point.

Last week: I happened to find a moisture-sensitive package placed atop our mailbox, in the rain.  When tracked, showed that it had been delivered, complete with the delivery person's online photo of where it had been placed: in front of our neighbor's gate.  Now, our mailboxes are either side of said gate, but it's really clear which is ours; why couldn't they figure out which we were, and drive down the long driveway (ooh, scary in the dark), see the sign pointing to the front door (covered place to leave packages) (needed because of packages left all over the place), and leave it there?

Today, while trying to sort out another mis-delivery of the wrong product (separate story, but when things come in flavors, we kind of expect to get the flavor we ordered), my wife learned that Amazon's GPS system had tagged the neighbor's gate as our address.  This would explain why we've received cellphone calls from the more diligent deliverers asking us for the security code for the gate ... Well, it took half an hour for this bastion of all things cyber to fix our address point.

So, don't think the UK has a monopoly on incompetence
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 21 December, 2018, 05:44:16 pm
Argh, Parcelfarce. >:(

My Christmas present to myself (I know, I know :facepalm:) has been sitting in the local depot, apparently, since early Wednesday morning. As it appeared to have been sitting around doing nothing for the best part of three days, I took advantage of a last-day-at-work early finish and went to the depot to try and track it down (it's the other side of town, so a train journey away as I CBA to tackle the festive traffic nonsense with a bike + trailer). On arrival I was told it was out for delivery, but had left late. Sod's law - when the online tracking updated (after I'd left the depot!), I saw that it left the depot at pretty much the same time as I left to catch the train.

Back home, it still hasn't arrived (the window is until 6pm, apparently, though I suspect it may be later than that).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 21 December, 2018, 06:41:26 pm
FFS!

Having sat in waiting for the delivery, I've just checked the tracking page again: "Your parcel has been returned to our depot following an attempted delivery or a problem locating the address. Please check the tracking below. Our driver will have left a card explaining what to do next where the  delivery has been attempted."

No, the driver has *not* left a card, nor have they tried to deliver. The address is not hard to find.

So, I've wasted several hours of my life and a train fare, and still have no parcel. >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 21 December, 2018, 07:30:09 pm
DPD: 'delivery refused at 1.36pm'

Not by me, it wasn't.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2018, 07:54:48 pm
https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/hermes-christmas-van-devon-parcel-2351209
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 21 December, 2018, 09:30:33 pm
DHL.
We got notification of a delivery for when we knew we would be out, so rearranged delivery to one of those locker things.
Said locker was on the North side petrol station on the dual carriageway. Yes - north.
Delivery notification with pin number came for the north side locker.
Go on guess which lockers I eventually found the package in (spoiler - not west, or east)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 24 December, 2018, 09:50:56 am
Despite the sign on the door saying put the parcels in the box behind the porch, DPD man finally arrived 'between 7.30 and 8.30pm' at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon, stood there for a good while puzzling at said sign and then piled it all on the front step and then for some reason ran down the driveway pretending to be an airplane (admittedly I do this). Honestly, he looked like he'd had the entire bottle of Christmas spirit already. One of the main benefits of having security cameras on the drive and porch is that we can watch Courier TV.

Fortunately, it was all there when we finally got home about 10 pm. That said, it was just flowers and stuff, and nothing fun.
Title: Re: (NOT) Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Torslanda on 24 December, 2018, 05:52:27 pm
I ordered an item from a jolly well known photographic retailer on Thursday then realised that it was *officially* too late for 'next day delivery'.

Despite this, UK Mail were on the doorstep by 9.45 Saturday morning. Not specified, not paid for but delivered anyway.

Certain young gentleman will be quite pleased with his present because if it hadn't arrived on Saturday we wouldn't be able to get it until after New Year...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 02 January, 2019, 07:56:09 pm
FFS!

Having sat in waiting for the delivery, I've just checked the tracking page again: "Your parcel has been returned to our depot following an attempted delivery or a problem locating the address. Please check the tracking below. Our driver will have left a card explaining what to do next where the  delivery has been attempted."

No, the driver has *not* left a card, nor have they tried to deliver. The address is not hard to find.

So, I've wasted several hours of my life and a train fare, and still have no parcel. >:(

In the end, I rescheduled this for 28th December - but it got delivered on Christmas Eve, when I was away. Fortunately no one nicked it from the communal hallway!

On the other hand, I sent a small parcel second class on the 22nd, assuming it would arrive after Christmas (which would have been fine - it was an Ebay sale and the buyer had waited a week to pay, so can't have wanted it that urgently!). Delivered on Christmas Eve too - not bad for second class really!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 03 January, 2019, 07:19:10 pm
Sometimes shite couriering can be a good thing.
Mrs B's fierce mercan sister-in-law ordered to us a box of decent wines for crimble.  Except it never arrived.
She must have been super fierce with the supplier because they phoned me on Monday to abjectly apologise and check our location in the village.  He then personally  drove a delivery himself from Swansea.  Just in time for our New Year do.  :thumbsup:

This evening, Yodel turned up with the original lost consignment.   :D  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 30 January, 2019, 11:00:04 pm
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum.

Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.

Box was delivered today.

The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.

There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.

Must have been dropped.

David is Not Happy.

DPD this is not good enough!

Computer hospital says they'll fix...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 31 January, 2019, 08:47:40 am
Ordered a drill press yesterday from Axminster Tools.  Paid nominal sum for am am delivery today.  Then I discovered that it's sodding DPD.  Who have a track record of seeing that the left-most house on our little close of 10 houses is No.1 and then counting one, two, three to get to me.  Except that their No. 3 is not No.3.  It doesn't say No. 3 on it.  And it's clearly a very old house and looks nothing like the other 8 houses all of which look similar and of the same 1990 age.  My No. 3 has 2 number plaques on it, one high up on the garage so it can clearly be seen from the road: the old house (DPD's guess at No 3) is immediately on my left as the DPD driver looks at them. 

So now I need to sit in the dining room all morning waiting to catch them.  Or at least, since it's bins day, I could leave my big green waste bin, with its huge No. 3 label, parked at the bottom of my drive.  Then, when I bellow at the DPD driver out of the window as he attempts to mis-deliver the usual "You weren't in" card, he might just wake up.  We live in hope.

EDIT:  I then had an email with a time slot for delivery, so sat in the dining room doing my music theory homework, where I could see any van arriving.  Spotted the DPD van as it arrived, so intercepted the driver before he could ignore the signs that it was my house he wanted.  Pillar drill unpacked, assembled and bolted to the bench.  Sorted.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 31 January, 2019, 08:54:23 am
The other day DPD again left the parcels on the front step. Clearly labelled BEER STEAL ME. Fortunately, I was home. I don't know why they can't just follow the simple instruction. Or knock on the door.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 07 February, 2019, 04:15:50 pm
Yesterday I had a book delivered. Which I forgot about till half-midnight and had to go out in my jimjams to check.

Did the courier put the package in the box provided for the purpose as per the clear instructions? No, he shoved it under the back gate.

Given the torrential rain we had all yesterday evening, I retrieved a rather soggy book.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 07 February, 2019, 04:36:49 pm
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum. (+extra for expedited service).
Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.
Box was delivered today.
The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.
There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.Must have been dropped.
David is Not Happy.
DPD this is not good enough!
Computer hospital says they'll fix...
dpd is still in dispute with computer hospital and trying to deny liability.
Computer hospital says they'll fix things anyway and are unhappy computer is still OOS chez nous.

In the mean time David has mentally abandoned old computer, having a SHINY new MacBook Air doing most of his work.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 07 February, 2019, 09:01:06 pm
Herpes are the dried up bits of dog shit you get stuck in the soles of cleated shoes.

I handle lots of parcels from all the main couriers, and they stand out as the shittiest of them all.

We returned a parcel for someone called Mills via Herpes with a bad address. They must be keeping track of what they send to us (lots), as they stuck a new label on with a seemingly proper address. Only it was the address of another person within the organisation called Mills. This suggests they are breaching GDPR by retaining such data. The parcel was very nearly handed over to the wrong Mills. Not the first time - Herpes have form. Utter bunch of twunts.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ginger Cat on 14 February, 2019, 02:37:33 pm
DPD and Hermes are OK around us- at the moment, it'll no doubt change once the regular driver is shifted onto another round. Amazon Logistics on the other hand.......

Last week I popped out, when I got back, I swapped the van and car over ready for an early start the next day- but decided to check on the cats before taking the van out for fuel. Just as well as it was then I discovered the parcels tucked neatly on the van step- they had left the parcels on the rear step of my van (reverse-parked on my drive). :facepalm: They survived the swap manoevre but wouldn't have survived a trip to the fuel station- and so were merely soggy from being out in the rain as opposed to being squashed/lost. 

Yesterday I was in all day, working from home in the front bedroom. Window open so I could hear vans arriving. Heard van, picked up keys, headed downstairs as the doorbell rang. Honestly, I got to the door in under 10 seconds from doorbell ring, by which time the Owens-lorry-driver-doing-courier-work chappie was halfway down the path at the side of the house, seemingly intent on chucking the parcels over the back gate (wouldn't be the first time). I pointed out to him- somewhat grumpily I'll admit- that it's customary to wait for a few seconds after ringing the bell before going into lob it over the back gate mode.

Today, same courier (something for husband again)- he rang the bell- and waited- he looked well-sheepish when I answered the door.....

GC
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 08 April, 2019, 12:24:04 pm
DHL

After providing information on the movement of my item on 3 & 4 April they have given no updates whatsoever.  It is now after close of business Monday in $countryoforigin and still no update.

The next update will probably come after the item has been delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: PaulF on 21 April, 2019, 07:05:46 pm
Amazon: a tale of 2 deliveries.

On Friday I came home to find a card saying “your package is with Patrick in the white house (no not that one!) opposite. Now Martin lives in the obvious one so it wasn’t him so I went to the one next door where the pub staff live. No Patricks here came the reply. So I tried the white house round the corner, a lot of the houses in the village are white; some new people moved in recently and I don’t know them. Perhaps it could be there? Nobody home :( In desperation I went round to Martin’s. He hadn’t received a parcel. Then his mother calls out from the back. Yes they’d left it with Renee :facepalm:

Fast forward to Saturday. My mouse dies and I need a replacement before a business trip on Monday. Great, Amazon can deliver; it might arrive on time.  Place the order. It will arrive on Tuesday! WTF! Then this morning I get a mail, “your package will be delivered today”. Great I’m out all day. Lunchtime Amazon send me a photo of an Amazon box on my back doorstep. Result!   
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on 18 June, 2019, 01:17:02 pm
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

Meanwhile, MrsT's SIM for her new phone promised by Chronopost for 8am-12am just arrived at 2:15 pm and I received a text from DPD saying yes we promised today but we can't make it until ...

Not happy.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: T42 on 18 June, 2019, 02:40:58 pm
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

The GLS website reads:

12:30  Attempted delivery, recipient not home.   - barefaced lie. Not only were we home, we were about 5 metres from the doorbell

12:45  Parcel left at relay point. - another lie.  I drove to the relay point half an hour ago: no parcel.

GLS website has no contact link. Guess why.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 13 August, 2019, 04:40:38 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 16 August, 2019, 09:24:05 pm
Interesting delivery at home today . . . . I bought 10 Presta valve dustcaps in RED for my bike, costing about £2.50 inc postage (don't mock - it's a red bike) which predictably were in a polybag about 15cm square (usual pre-packed Chinese stuff that's sent out from a fulfilment house in Manchester)

What was amazing was that instead of the obvious Royal Mail pop it throught the letterbox delivery an ENORMOUS truck (we live in a cul de sac and it had to make a 6 point turn it was that big) from Yodel appeared with the package ... and then my wife had to sign for it!   Madness.

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 August, 2019, 01:03:37 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49329720)

They seem to have recycled that one into an extended saga of shite couriering:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49398068
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 11 September, 2019, 12:39:39 pm
I thought this might be the appropriate place...


Quote
14:19 10 Sep
SHARED
'Delivery driver had a poo outside my house'

Sandish Shoker

BBC News

A Nottinghamshire woman had an unexpected delivery when she caught a driver defecating outside her house.

Nadine, from Gedling, said she heard a noise down the side of her house one afternoon last week and saw the man relieving himself.

"He had his pants down and was rubbing his bum on my fence post," she told BBC Radio Nottingham.

"So perhaps the culprit can be found with splinters in his bum."

DHL GV
PA MediaCopyright: PA Media
The bizarre incident left her "shocked" and speechless as the man ran off pulling up his trousers and drove off in his van.

"It was quite a big turd," she added.

"I saw the funny side of it, but you can't do that. You don't poo in somebody's alleyway."

Nadine believed the man worked for delivery firm, DHL, because of the red and yellow T-shirt he was wearing and asked them to apologise.

A spokeswoman for the firm said: "Based on the information provided, we are yet to ascertain if the individual in question is a DHL employee.

"However, we are investigating this as a matter of priority as this is clearly unacceptable."

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 28 September, 2019, 04:44:27 pm
Hermes!!
Delivery between 12 and 2. leave it in the shed advice entered.

We were not only in the house at 13:05 but it was not left in the shed either.. Idiots
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on 28 September, 2019, 05:46:13 pm
DX Deliveries (who have the contract for delivering passports, so you'd think they would have a certain level of competence).

They sent a text last Thursday saying delivery would be on Friday.  Waited in all day only to get another text from them at 7.05pm (coincidentally just after the office closed) saying "delivery attempted" (whatever that means) and to follow a link to re-schedule.

Several futile phone calls later the guy trundles up on Tuesday at 2.30 (not 4-8pm as agreed) and without phoning first (again as promised).  The guy looked high on crack and didn't ring the prominently positioned doorbell (as everyone else does) - just stood there looking all around him in a puzzled manner. 

Useless twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 03 October, 2019, 07:07:56 pm
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: essexian on 04 October, 2019, 08:41:13 am
I have received three emails over the last few days stating my item will be with me today....which is nice seeing how it was delivered on Monday.

So, the question is, will "they" bring another one today and if so, should I send it back..... (the answer to the last question is yes, yes I would as, well that's what I am like).

I'll update you later....  ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on 04 October, 2019, 02:46:09 pm
HERMES  ::-)

Ordered a pair of tyres from CRC last week.  The Hermes tracking system showed the parcel as going AWAL for a few days.

Finally turned up last night.  Thought it felt rather bulky but assumed it was unnecessary packing so signed for it.

When I opened it I was surprised to find 2 table lamps and a duvet set!  Closer inspection of the packaging showed my details on a label on one side but someone else's 20 miles away on the other (presumably the intended recipient).

Spoke to CRC and cancelled the order.  Now trying to contact Hermes to get them to collect this stuff.  Virtually impossible.  Been on hold for "live chat" for 45 minutes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 04 October, 2019, 09:03:34 pm
GGGRRR!!!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Moleman76 on 06 October, 2019, 08:24:04 am
We have had a number of packages dropped off (in plastic bags to lessen rain damage) near our (almost always open) gate, rather than 500 feet further down our driveway at the house.

So when I ordered something this week, I used the "second address line" to say "front door please".

Apparently the UPS driver thinks the front door is about 30 feet from the road.  Whisky Tango Foxtrot
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 09 October, 2019, 01:24:27 pm
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:

They have just managed it again today...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 27 November, 2019, 07:41:15 pm
Royal Fail, again from a Twitter friend in Edinburgh, who is relieved it wasn't bin day today...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKZo3vGXYAAriJJ?format=jpg&name=4096x4096)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 27 November, 2019, 07:49:21 pm
That textphone number[1] reminds me:

Honorary mention to Typetalk Textrelay NGT, who have re-re-re-branded as "Relay UK (https://www.relayuk.bt.com/)".  Because now they sound like a shite courier (or possibly a splinter group of the AA) rather than a telephony service for hearing and speech impaired people to use for starting arguments with banks and persuading large bureaucratic organisations to use email.

Clear as the mud you've just scraped off a parcel...


[1] I bet good money it isn't  a) answered  by b) a human  who c) can type.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mattc on 27 November, 2019, 07:58:45 pm
Nomination for DXDelivery - Saturday mornings a speciality.

Not only did they sneak upto our door while both of us were in, but then:
- failed to fill out the time on their card (making it harder for us to pin them down), and
- wedged the card betwixt door and door-frame! Thus avoiding the sound of the letter-box - genius!

Do they think we're stupid?!?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 28 November, 2019, 08:52:44 am
Amazon delivery this time. Usually they leave the parcel on the doorstep in plain view of the street rather than in the doorless bin cupboard next to it which is out of sight.

Well this one did put them out of view for once but then put the little card between front door and frame rather than through the letter box. So still obvious from the street that something was there :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 28 November, 2019, 06:30:45 pm
Quote
your scheduled delivery date has changed.
Rescheduled Delivery Date:   Friday, 29/11/2019
Estimated Delivery Time:   End of Day

Quote
your parcel has been delivered.
Delivery Date:   Thursday, 28/11/2019
Delivery Time:   16:54

That was UPS. If they weren't going to delay until Friday, why did they give me the option?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 December, 2019, 09:28:52 am
Parcel2Go, your tracking page has been saying "ORDER PLACED" since Monday.  I therefore conclude that it is utter pish, or you are.  I WANT MY PARTHEL!!!!

(Pouts, stamps foot)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 December, 2019, 02:30:40 pm
Doesn't 'Order Placed' just mean the sender has bought the 'fare' but not yet despatched the goods?

I think I've had this with other couriers; I don't think your parcel has been received yet...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 05 December, 2019, 02:46:47 pm
My expected parcel is due to be delivered by Hermes. :(  Pray for me!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 05 December, 2019, 08:59:41 pm
It appears that my new derailleurs/ shifters for my Moulton have disappeared, along with the truck, somewhere near the Spanish/ French border. The supplier's email refers to bandits, which is the first time I've heard that excuse for a delayed delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 December, 2019, 10:17:48 am
My aforementioned is also now "in the Hermes system".  Gulp.  And if they try to put it through the letterbox they WILL break it, coz 12" vinyl doesn't bend.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 December, 2019, 03:43:48 am
"On its way to the courier" 21 hours ago.  A slof could have delivered it faster than this.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 December, 2019, 01:14:45 pm
We've been waiting several days for a couple of large bags of cat food via Yodel (I thought they'd died?). The most recent excuse was an 'oh dear, the van has broken down.'

I presume he's now sleeping in a Surrey hedgerow and subsisting on Science Plan.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 09 December, 2019, 10:37:26 am
Eventually got a text at 1215am this morning to say our parcel had been delivered. As it was chucking it down, I made my wife go outside in her PJs to check and it was sitting on the front step looking soggy and forlorn. No idea when it arrived, it wasn't there at 10pm when we came back from an event and no one had rung the super-new doorbell. Looked like it had been sitting there in the rain for a while (fortunately, the cat food is in sealed plastic sacks).

Odd time for a delivery, specifically as they say they don't do Sundays, and I still think Yodel went bust the other Christmas.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 December, 2019, 10:50:15 am
Some time yesterday parcel2go updated the tracking page for my item.  Not that it got any closer to Larrington Towers, no, but it did now add some Stuffs about "hub trailers".

Then they changed it back to what it was at 06:30 Saturday  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on 09 December, 2019, 11:39:33 am
I suspect it is the cosmos restoring balance after my order from the Big River Co. turned up several days quicker than I was expecting on Saturday afternoon. :demon:

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 09 December, 2019, 09:37:12 pm
We had a great one recently where an item I shipped on a pre 10 delivery was failed delivery at exactly 10am. That made me suspicious especially as I've visited the site and you'll always find several people.

It then said that it was back at the depot. Customer collected and I kicked off with my account manager as we ship a lot and it eventually turned out the parcel had never left the depot and some idiot/bright spark clocked it as site closed while it was still there!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 December, 2019, 11:38:29 am
Oh look!

"Due to the volume of parcels in the Hermes network we have been experiencing some delays yadda yadda allow an extra few days herp derp monitor the tracking page ect and, moreover, ect"

People send lots of Stuffs in December?  Who knew?  Apart from Royal Mail, of course, who would actually employ temporary PSO-shaped staff.

Also, they don't actually tell you this on the tracking page.  No, they've hidden it on the laughably-named "Help" page.  And my parthel hasn't budged.  Again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 December, 2019, 01:50:52 pm
Parthel movement over past 24 hours: 0. Zilch. Nada.

sort it out u muppets!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 11 December, 2019, 02:23:56 pm
I have been asked if I want 12sp equipment to replace the purloined 11sp kit I ordered. Of course not, said I.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 December, 2019, 01:08:47 pm
I am starting to think that Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf is in charge of updating the parcels2go tracking page.  Yes, you guessed it.  Still no movement.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 12 December, 2019, 04:35:01 pm
https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/people/east-lothian-shopper-tells-how-hermes-left-her-husbands-christmas-present-pile-leaves-and-forged-her-signature-1338924?fbclid=IwAR2uAq1KUONkvGnyjagTxbQjfTQqRUvxoOQ7uNVtsEi-JkAA53NRt-XGAg8 (https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/people/east-lothian-shopper-tells-how-hermes-left-her-husbands-christmas-present-pile-leaves-and-forged-her-signature-1338924?fbclid=IwAR2uAq1KUONkvGnyjagTxbQjfTQqRUvxoOQ7uNVtsEi-JkAA53NRt-XGAg8)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 12 December, 2019, 04:58:38 pm
I have sent a carefully packed (in its original box) Islabike Rothan and it hasn't arrived at the appointed time. This is pissing off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 12 December, 2019, 05:24:31 pm
Anyone else in the habit of adding hazardous items to orders so they automagically get upgraded to a decent courier?  A spare flux pen is bound to come in useful...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: giropaul on 12 December, 2019, 09:19:06 pm
Well, out in the sticks we must be luckier. Because my daughter( who doesn’t even live here) gets tens of parcels a day some days ( competitors products that she wants to examine, but obviously doesn’t want to use her company address). All the delivery people seem to be great. Many we know by name. The post person , and regular deliverers, know where to leave stuff, and hide stuff  imaginatively in one of the places.
They know that they are always welcome to park in our drive, and to use our loo. Obviously we show our appreciation to them generously at Christmas. In short, building the relationship works - but I guess it’s harder in areas where more people work the patch.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 December, 2019, 03:51:15 pm
F5.  No progress.  Time to raise this with the sender, since they appear not to let the recipient have the temerity to complain.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on 13 December, 2019, 06:46:06 pm
Time to practice escalatio and deploy TEH BEAR and/or the Frying Pan of SPANG as well, I'd have thought. This is manifestly taking the mock...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 13 December, 2019, 08:03:02 pm
Anyone else in the habit of adding hazardous items to orders so they automagically get upgraded to a decent courier?  A spare flux pen is bound to come in useful...

In what may or may not be karma, everything that *wasn't* hazmat (and some unobtanium resistors that are on back-order) turned up by the generally competent UPS in less than 24 hours.

I've also been sent a tube of low bandwidth op-amps that don't appear to be a random substitution[1] for anything I actually ordered.  I'm going to chalk that up as a marginal gain.


[1] Farnell don't sell bread or cephalopods, but I've had power regulators turn into draught excluder foam, which is almost as good.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 December, 2019, 01:26:43 pm
Time to practice escalatio and deploy TEH BEAR and/or the Frying Pan of SPANG as well, I'd have thought. This is manifestly taking the mock...

An e-mail will be winging its way to the lovely girls and boys at Rockosmos shortly.  Not that I expect any action until Monday as they are The Music Biz and will therefore be Insensible due to Unmentionable Debauchery and Moral Turpitude all weekend.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: spesh on 14 December, 2019, 01:37:31 pm
I initially misread Rockosmos as Roscosmos - which would have put a totally different spin on your parcel being "in the Hermes system".

As in, "it's en-route to Mercury". :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 December, 2019, 02:24:58 pm
I got an almost immediate reply from Senior Management at Rockosmos saying "give it until Wednesday and give me another shout then if there's no further progress" and who am I to argue with the band's main singer/songwriter/guitarist/producer/photographer/record company exec/propagandist Sel Balamir?  Even if he's spending Saturday afternoons answering e-mails instead of snorting triple-sod and cavorting with women of Doubtful Virtue.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 21 December, 2019, 08:40:10 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-50861036 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-50861036)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 December, 2019, 02:25:39 pm
E-mailed Mr Balamir again on Wednesday, got a reply yesterday to the effect that he will get them to open an investigation.  Now they'll find it, try to deliver it when I'm away over Xmo/New Tear and then lose it again.  Or claim I signed for it by remote control from a hundred miles away.  Or...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 December, 2019, 10:12:45 am
They all seem to be doing the thing where they follow the instructions to go around the back of the porch. Except instead of leaving the parcels there, they collect the parcel box, bring it around the front and then use it as a hat for the parcels left on the front step.

Fortunately, nefarious parcel surfers can't really see them from the bottom of the drive.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 January, 2020, 06:09:38 pm
I haz a Shiny!!1!

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49334247968_91ee254b67_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iauV9d)
Octopus (https://flic.kr/p/2iauV9d) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr

Mr Hermes left his "sorry I missed you" card wedged into the void 'twixt inner and outer flaps of Ye Letterbocks and only the delivery of another piece of mail dislodged it enough to render it visible.  His undated "sorry I missed you" card.  My Shiny has been retrieved from the safekeeping of Nice Man at the Offie, who claims he's had it for "a couple of weeks" >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 05 January, 2020, 08:08:57 pm
Home delivery, it’s the future. The High Street is ded.

We know this because we are told this.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andytheflyer on 08 January, 2020, 08:36:14 am
Why does ParcelFarce have to ring me (automated) at 10pm to tell me there will be a delivery tomorrow?  Most days I'd have been in bed by then.

The retailer has already sent me the tracking details so PF weren't telling me anything I didn't already know....
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 08 January, 2020, 12:43:56 pm
Had a delivery to the recycling bin yesterday.  Yes, it was bin day.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on 20 January, 2020, 11:38:04 am
Mr fimm's sister, who lives in continental Europe, sent him a parcel containing a Christmas and a Birthday present. The parcel did not arrive. We waited a bit, and it still did not arrive. So we waited some more. Mr fimm tried to chase it up from this end, but as we had no "tried to deliver" card there wasn't much they could do. We finally got his sister to pull her finger out and inquire at the post office at her end. They gave her a list of what happened to the parcel that ended "delivered to cupboard".
Cupboard?
We live in a tenement flat. On the ground floor there's a cupboard with cleaning stuff in it. Mr fimm went to look and, lo and behold, his parcel, tucked away in a mop bucket. At least he got it before his birthday!

OK, we are on the top floor, but every other delivery person seems able to come up and put a card through the door and either leave the parcel at the door or (more usually) with a neighbour. If there was a card for this parcel, we (clearly) never saw it...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 28 January, 2020, 08:22:29 pm
I ordered a new fenix torch and remote switch on 19/1/2020.  I got a despatch notification on 20/1/2020.

I still do not have my torch.

The parcel was delivered to a house on my street many houses away.  No note was left.  So I contacted the company who said the driver had delivered it to a house as they had the photograph. 
That is not my house, I said.
But I can go and collect it.  I could not go to collect it for 24 hours but  quite excitedly i went round to pick up my parcel.

"Oh", they said, "the driver came and collected it yesterday"

He still did not deliver it even though he now knew exactly where my house was using house name, post code, google maps (perhaps I should have used W3W).

I contacted the retailer again.  I explained the situation and they contacted the courier who said we will deliver it tomorrow.

I come home tonight and there are some boxes delivered by the same courier firm so they know where we live.  But where is my torch.  I ask my wife if there were any parcels for me.  Just the ones left by the back door.  My torch is not there.

This is now 9 days for this torch to travel about 40 miles. 

You could not make it up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 01 May, 2020, 11:14:02 pm
UPS failed to collect a parcel as we "weren't in". It's a lockdown, we were. The parcel was on the doorstep most of the day when it wasn't raining.

And it took half an hour on the phone, another fee, another day's delay in getting the stuff to the recipient, and they'll collect on Monday, if we're in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 02 May, 2020, 07:28:09 am
Bought an old news photo from a seller in Tennessee. It just arrived after taking over a month.  Given what I hear from the USA I had decided if it arrived, I'd be lucky.

The tracking worked until it reached Dallas Fort Worth then there was nothing until there it was on the doormat. Item was 5usd, postage 15.

I left good feedback since there's no knowing what it's like over there.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 25 May, 2020, 12:23:12 pm
Hermes (yet again!): I was in my flat at 10.07; in bed actually. You didn't ring the intercom and made no effort to deliver my item, as far as I can tell. Now, I wouldn't want to be working on a bank holiday, but you made the choice, so do your feckin' job, kthxbai.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 05 June, 2020, 09:03:44 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 June, 2020, 09:32:04 pm

I ordered some stuff from ikea, paid for delivery on the 14th of May. On the 14th I got an email saying there as a technical issue. I've since contacted IKEA 3 times, and each time they say it's gonna be rescheduled for a date, and then not turn up... I wonder if it will arrive before the 14th of June...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 June, 2020, 12:29:53 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...

I trust there are screenshots?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 06 June, 2020, 02:12:03 pm
The three (3) parcels that UPS had out on a van for delivery before 12:30 today have failed to appear.  Tracking system is now in advanced stages of denial about them having been loaded onto a van at Tamworth at audax o'clock this morning.

Place your bets...

I trust there are screenshots?

At late o'clock last night, I got a barrage of SMSes and emails informing me that the delivery had been rescheduled to Monday.

So it came as only a mild surprise when they appeared at 9am this morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 01 July, 2020, 11:15:34 am
I’m expecting a yodel delivery today. The email I’ve got has a track your parcel link. Most useful. Apparently my parcel is out for delivery. Oh, there’s a map to help. It’s got an icon on it that very helpfully tells me where my local area is. But nothing else! Useless.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jasmine on 01 July, 2020, 01:41:00 pm
Today was a bit special. There's a note on my door that says 'please knock, if no reply please put parcels under the box behind the porch.'

I don't think these are especially difficult to follow instructions. Except he (a) didn't knock, otherwise I'd have heard him and (b) I wouldn't have found a pile of parcels on the front step with the box from behind the porch balanced on top of them. The wrong way up.

I evidently haven't read this thread in 2 years, so I've just seen this. You have to admit, it's bloody inspired. Your courier has quite literally followed the instructions. There's no way they weren't just taking the piss. I'm cheered for the day (well, maybe at least an hour)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ginger Cat on 02 July, 2020, 03:23:29 pm
FedEx, you are currently on my list of "ultimate worst courier" which is an amazing achievement as it puts you below the likes of Hermes, Yodel, etc.

You have successfully and efficiently delivered me goods from this particular US retailer in the past, so your current utter incompetence is disappointing. Especially as the usually pedestrian USPS-Royal Mail service managed to get me a parcel from the US during lockdown with no bother whatsoever. In fact the performance of USPS-Rpyal Mail was positively scintillating (even though in first few weeks of lockdown) compared to the sh!te I have had from you so far.

You take the biscuit the way you have "rearranged" your system for paying import duty.

I get you need your COVID controls in place and are only sending electronic invoices, but since you stopped delivering and sending the invoice afterwards, plus you took away the ability to phone up and pay by card on the phone, surely a company of your size can afford an IT bod to sort out payment by card on your website?????

The text message you sent out (telling me there was duty to pay) arrived 2 days after the tracking showed the parcel arriving in UK, unfortunately the link in it didn't work- took me to a blank web page- which was a fat lot of good.

Even if you can only afford an IT bod part-time, surely it is not beyond your wit to put info on your website that matches what you send out by text?

Then 3 days after the package arrived in UK I got an email attaching the invoice for duty and explaining how to pay the duty owed. According to the invoice, the duty must be paid within 5 days of the package ariving in UK otherwise it would be automaticaly returned to sender with no further warning. Nice. The invoice said payment could be made by phone or via bank transfer.

However, contrary to what the emailed invoice said, your payment line is NOT accepting payment (calling the number on the invoice, on the appropriate number option I got as far as the pre-recorded message saying "you cannot pay your invoice over the phone, please look on our website for more details of how to pay" and on the "enquiries" option I never got to speak to a person; the website said I could pay by phone. Aaaaaaagh!!!!!!).

If you must use email and bank transfer for payment,  why is it you only give 5 days after arrival of a package in UK to pay invoice YET you don't send that email out until the package has been in UK for 3 days?. Why can't you get your pre-recorded phone messages, email, texts and internet to match up or is that just too difficult? (I'd have though you lot being in logistics this was basic stuff?????)

Paying by bank transfer means setting you up as a new payee using a PIN-pad card reader. For security purposes, that card-reader remains at home when I am away working as generally I am not setting new payees up on my account that often. Some of us are key workers and are still working on site (not at home) and in fact it's not unusual for key workers to stay over for a bit, so I'd have expected a little more flexibility.

You have asssured me (when I finally got in touch by livechat on Day 4 after the parcle arrived in UK) that my parcel will still be in UK when I get back home today- Day 6 since my package arrived in UK- and am able to log on and pay the invoice for customs duty. You'd better be right and better deliver my parcel you cretinous lot, and for the future I will have to explain to that retailer that unless they can use a courier with sensible arrangements, I cannot buy from them again, sorry.

Grrrrrrr.

GC
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 02 July, 2020, 03:54:48 pm
I’m expecting a yodel delivery today. The email I’ve got has a track your parcel link. Most useful. Apparently my parcel is out for delivery. Oh, there’s a map to help. It’s got an icon on it that very helpfully tells me where my local area is. But nothing else! Useless.

Interesting. I had one yesterday. Showed where he (for it was a he) was, the number of the delivery he was on, and the number of our delivery. All worked well.

Contrast with UPS's "by the end of the day" and it's superb. Apparently drivers make up their own routes, so no perdition of delivery can be made, nor is when the "end" of the day is indicated.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 July, 2020, 04:18:15 pm
Prediction, not perdition, methinks...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 02 July, 2020, 04:39:07 pm
Prediction, not perdition, methinks...

😄
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on 02 July, 2020, 06:32:46 pm
DPD are a useless bunch of twats so far 4 attempts to deliver of 2.ir
 Refused the package and 2 where I was no in despite me not only being In but on 2 occasions watching the van driving by making no attempt to stop
Complaint made to the company
Might get the package next week if I am lucky  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 14 July, 2020, 11:39:56 pm
Ordered a large toy for the man cave yesterday, next day delivery. Supplier did the biz and I got a tracking code from dx couriers (who are shit) yesterday evening. 
This morning the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
This lunch time the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
17:00 today the dx couriers (who are shit) web site showed the item unmoved.
Oh well, shrugs I, it was late into the depot and dx couriers (who are shit), are shit. Probably arrive tomorrow.

19:00 tonight a neighbour from the far, far end of our road called round to say he had a large parcel for me. On a pallet large.  dx couriers (who are shit) had abandoned it on his drive while he was out at work. I on the other hand was in my office all day at the front of the house.  Kind neighbours gaff is fully 200 meters from the intended, and very clearly printed on the box, destination. His address in the road is 8a, ours is SoreTween Cottage.  Almost identical?

If we still lived in Surrey the do-as-you-likeys would have had it away in a fraction of the time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 03 August, 2020, 07:54:55 am
As UPS charge for collection, (see https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136)), I often drop off packages at one the local stores that UPS pay to accept packages.

One in particular that is near here doesn't like accepting packages unless the collection will be on the same day.

Last year, the shop was closed when I went to work at 6:30 on a Friday before a bank holiday, when it was supposed to open at 6:00. I dropped the parcel off at 4:30 ish, and the shopkeeper told me to bring it back on Tuesday. I pointed out that I would be out of the country by then, so he reluctantly agreed to take it.

Last Saturday, he wouldn't take a parcel at 2:30 pm, as his collection wouldn't be until Monday and he told me to take it back and come back on Monday. I just took it to the next nearest drop-off point, where there was no hint of not wanting to accept it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 August, 2020, 08:08:42 am
We ordered one thing  to be delivered to Stepson for his birthday and posted a card with something else. 5-7 days in advance.

One order was from an olive farm in Spain; we also ordered some for ourselves.

Our delivery arrived in a box covered in cow shit. Literally covered in cow shit. One 5l bottle of olive oil cracked (very little had actually leaked.

The delivery for Stepson, who lives in Reading, has so far traveled to Dundee (after landing in the south of England) and is currently meandering, somewhat slower than an arthritic snail, back down the UK.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 03 August, 2020, 08:11:35 am
As UPS charge for collection, (see https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2493136#msg2493136)), I often drop off packages at one the local stores that UPS pay to accept packages.

One in particular that is near here doesn't like accepting packages unless the collection will be on the same day.

Last year, the shop was closed when I went to work at 6:30 on a Friday before a bank holiday, when it was supposed to open at 6:00. I dropped the parcel off at 4:30 ish, and the shopkeeper told me to bring it back on Tuesday. I pointed out that I would be out of the country by then, so he reluctantly agreed to take it.

Last Saturday, he wouldn't take a parcel at 2:30 pm, as his collection wouldn't be until Monday and he told me to take it back and come back on Monday. I just took it to the next nearest drop-off point, where there was no hint of not wanting to accept it.

The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     

 Since they reduced their interest in collecting from domestic address some years ago, and charged for doing it, I voted with my feet (and I have always found UPS to be the top of the price range) 

I tend to use Hermes because there's a OneStop drop-off that's in walking distance from my home and it's open very long hours, they were a bit confused with a bike in abox but did take it! - or I look at the consolidator  Parcel2Go for deals

Rob
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 03 August, 2020, 11:37:59 am
The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     

 Since they reduced their interest in collecting from domestic address some years ago, and charged for doing it, I voted with my feet (and I have always found UPS to be the top of the price range) 

I tend to use Hermes because there's a OneStop drop-off that's in walking distance from my home and it's open very long hours, they were a bit confused with a bike in abox but did take it! - or I look at the consolidator  Parcel2Go for deals

Excellent question.

In the UK I always tried to use Royal Mail. Here I use DHL. They seem the least incompetent. The only issue I have with them is there are about a dozen different DHL brands, DHL express, DHL connect etc... and all are different, and each has it's own customer service, and it's a right pain in the arse. But they seem to be reliable...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 03 August, 2020, 01:06:18 pm
The obvious question is : Must you use UPS?     
I use the post office up to 2kg, and print my postage at home, which is convenient. Above 2kg, they get rapidly more expensive.

UPS also do home-printed labels, and generally work. I paid about £5.50 to ship 5 kg within the UK, next day.

I think I will just factor in drop-offs at the next drop-off point. It's only 800 m further away.

However I'll look at Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 August, 2020, 02:51:22 pm
Drop It
Hide It
Leg* It

* alternatively, “Lie About It”, as the Aim 93 team of London South Bank University will readily attest

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 03 August, 2020, 02:53:37 pm
Drop It
Hide It
Leg* It

* alternatively, “Lie About It”, as the Aim 93 team of London South Bank University will readily attest

I thought that was what became hermes? Hide it, Drop it, Nick it, Lose it,

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 04 August, 2020, 04:03:32 pm
Nasty shock with Hermes: ordered 5 items from that there 'bay on Tuesday last week. RM postie delivered 2 Thursday lunchtime; Hermes brought the other 3 in one go the same afternoon.
There was a a tracking link for Hermes but it was useless. Said something like 'at local depot out for delivery' from which I inferred that the depot was on the road somewhere.
As the route for the van is known before it leaves the depot, a text/email with an approximate time should be easy to supply.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 04 August, 2020, 05:47:51 pm
Nasty shock with Hermes: ordered 5 items from that there 'bay on Tuesday last week. RM postie delivered 2 Thursday lunchtime; Hermes brought the other 3 in one go the same afternoon.
There was a a tracking link for Hermes but it was useless. Said something like 'at local depot out for delivery' from which I inferred that the depot was on the road somewhere.
As the route for the van is known before it leaves the depot, a text/email with an approximate time should be easy to supply.

Hmm, around here the “Hermes Lady” uses her own car, as do most of the Hermes deliveries. I guess yours was a branded van?  Oh, and perhaps, like UPS, the drivers can choose their own route? 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 04 August, 2020, 06:44:39 pm
Makes sense; The Travelling Salesman Problem can effectively be solved in O(1) time by paying a fixed wage and offloading the time taken and fuel costs to the employee.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 04 August, 2020, 07:11:21 pm
They are not lovingly known as Herpes for no reason...

You don't know whether you are going to catch them or not!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 August, 2020, 05:00:33 pm
Quote from: The very sh!te Yodel
We tried to deliver your parcel but couldn't access your property.

No.  No, you did not.  I was in all day.  I was tracking your minion all day.  When he was just round the corner I even came downstairs, that I might more easily hear the doorbell wot I mended the other day.  Your minion did not knock, nor ring, nor even leave a card.  You useless fucking basket cases >:(

I want my Shiny and I WANT IT NOW.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 August, 2020, 10:19:08 am
Quote
Estimated delivery date
Today
Stops before you
124

I'm watching you, Yodel...

(Eight hours laters)

Quote
Estimated delivery date
Today
Stops before you
28

My Shiny Thing has been in my possession for 45 minutes :facepalm:

You useless workshy twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 25 August, 2020, 04:04:13 pm
On Saturday morning I got a email from DPD saying your parcel from "Beers Of Europe" will be delivered on Monday.
This prompted me to download the DPD app to my 'new' phone.  It anounced I had no deliveries but I have seen that before so I entered the tracking code. A good thing I did because it popped up and said your parcel will be delivered between 13:54 and 14:53 today (still Saturday). Which it was.

Good service. Bad information.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on 27 August, 2020, 07:21:59 am
"Delivery attempted 25 August
Unfortunately, DHL ran into an issue when attempting your delivery. They will try again."

Utter cobblers, there was no point during that day that the house was empty, and another organisation based on a very large river managed to deliver me a shiny new webcam sucessfully on that day.

EDIT - pressing the "track" button suggests that it is still in Rogdau, DE one day after the attempted delivery, having been elsewhere, DE on the 25th.  That's bloody quick, DE-Fens-DE in two days
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 27 August, 2020, 09:08:47 am
River Co delivery was marked as 'handed to resident' at 16:00 ish on Tuesday.  Mrs Tween and I were both in and it sure wasn't handed to residents of this abode. After checking the usual spots around the front door and in the greenhouse I spent a delightful 20 minutes figuring out how to report non arrival.
Found next day under a bush at the end of the garden.  Rude words withheld as the courier had put it in a sealed plastic bag.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 04 September, 2020, 08:18:28 pm
DX.
Fair play yesterday they couldn't find the house and said so at 9am (so I didn't wait in all day)
Additional directions given "Google the street address not the postcode" and rearranged for today. At 6pm their site said variously (depending on how I access it)
Customer out, card left. Bullshit.
Redelivery Failed Customer.

Well they got the second one right, except that was tracked at midnight last night.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ElyDave on 08 September, 2020, 08:36:54 am
So FedEx can get soemthing to me today that was in Holland yesterday

Royal Mail Porcel Farce will be delivering something today that I ordered in the UK on Friday.

This is the status of a World Beating NationTM
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 08 September, 2020, 09:24:26 am
DPD yesterday: Balkar turns up on time to deliver something to my place of work, only it wasn't for us. I tell him a) the correct location that he needs to go to and b) that he has something (important) for me on his van. I know this, as DPD have told me so via text & email. Balkar then pretends to ferret about in the back of his van, only he can't (be bothered to) find it. 'I'll bring it later', he says. Only he doesn't. Twat. On top of that, he goes off to the wrong place to deliver the parcel he originally tried to deliver. Fuck knows where that ended up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 08 September, 2020, 02:39:09 pm
DX.
Fair play yesterday they couldn't find the house and said so at 9am (so I didn't wait in all day)
Additional directions given "Google the street address not the postcode" and rearranged for today. At 6pm their site said variously (depending on how I access it)
Customer out, card left. Bullshit.
Redelivery Failed Customer.

Well they got the second one right, except that was tracked at midnight last night.
And again. Didn't even attempt to re-deliver today. (re-deliveries between 9am and 5pm, "card left" at 8.30am).
I've now told the seller I will not reschedule it until they confirm DX can actually deliver it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 10 September, 2020, 01:26:22 pm
DPD's crown in Rugby at least has well and truly slipped.

I ordered a pair of pedals from Bike24 over 3 weeks back.  They arrived at DPD's local DC on 16th August and then went into "in transit" on 17th.  Not "out for delivery" mind, "in transit"

After a week I contacted Bike24 who were less than helpful but eventually raised an issue with DPD.  After two weeks I reminded Bike24 who curtly told me to be patient.  Fuck that. I ordered a pair of the same pedals later that day from Tredz.

I also contacted DPD who promise to respond in upto 4 hours:  It was 4 days and a "pass you on to somebody else" fob off.   Still no reply.

After my morning run and breakfast today I fired off more emails to DPD and Bike24 as it is now over 3 weeks.

The Royal Mail delivered my Tredz order a couple of hours ago.   I have now cancelled my Bike24 order and requested a refund.

DPD have been shite in this but Bike24 haven't covered themselves in glory either.   Tredz and The Royal Mail on the other hand ...

The good news is that my recently acquired tandem can now go for pilot trials.    👍
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Nick H. on 25 September, 2020, 01:02:23 am
I've had parcels stolen by drivers for DPD, DHL and UPS in the last 18 months. I live in Brixton, and everyone's got the message that the police don't investigate non-violent theft any more. The criminals are off the fucking hook. It's impossible to do anything about it, because even if the customer service people go through the motions of giving a shit, which takes many hours of nagging, the GPS data turns out to be 'unavailable' (presumably the drivers know how to disable it) and the signature turns out to  be just a scribble. So the drivers get away with it, and blame the customer, or the collection point staff, or some unknown thief who somehow got into my building undetected at just the right moment. The DHL guy even had the cheek to accuse me personally of signing for my parcel, which had a £1,000 phone in it. That was his opening gambit. I was the thief, doing it in order to make a fraudulent insurance claim. Now I try to make sure that nothing is delivered to me - it goes to the local collection point. At least this stops me from being accused of thievery. But it doesn't stop things being 'lost'. There's no solution to this. The criminals can just do what they want, and their managers couldn't give a fuck.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 25 September, 2020, 11:13:41 am
There is an easy solution.

Go to the shops to buy stuff. It doesn't need the insertion of a dleivery element then.

On line retail is a thieves paradise. Bricks and mortar stores still deal with theft but they are generally the victim, not you.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jakob W on 25 September, 2020, 11:55:35 am
No-contact deliveries have presumably also provided a certain amount of plausible deniability to the nefarious.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 25 September, 2020, 12:00:25 pm
DHL round here take a picture of your front door with the package leaning against it.  There is more than one image of my otherwise bare feet adorned with my Oofos Slides with a parcel between them.

The image of the missing pedals is ominous by it's absence.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Nick H. on 25 September, 2020, 06:29:28 pm
There is an easy solution.

Go to the shops to buy stuff.
It's hard to find French silk tubs in the shops! But this afternoon thery magically reappeared from the depths of the UPS driver's cave of stupid.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 27 September, 2020, 08:46:23 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 29 September, 2020, 07:10:30 pm
SW Logistics.  Today they delivered one Solar Panel and one jigsaw puzzle.  Two of the former was what left the vendor.  Not only that, the driver was just about the most miserable article I have encountered in a long while.  I wonder if it'll be him again on Thursday when the replacement arrives.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 30 September, 2020, 09:09:31 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 September, 2020, 09:25:17 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.

Once they've built the Bering Strait Fixed Link (and the infrastructure at either end) it'll be in Anchorage in no time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 07 October, 2020, 10:10:59 am
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 October, 2020, 11:24:49 am
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.

They did that to me.  The distance from Larrington Gardens Road to the Grand Portico of Larrington Towers is about twelve of the BRITONS' feet, but I expect their lackey got confused by the front door being on Larrington Gardens Road and not Larrington Towers Road* like wot the address says.  Subsequent Yodelackeys have found it without difficulty.  You can do the redelivery thing via their webshite without any nonsense from the “Sorry We Missed You” lie-card, which in my case I had not got.

* front door jiggery-pokery courtesy of a Mr H Göring and his æronaut friends.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Andrij on 07 October, 2020, 03:04:51 pm
Russian Post, or ParcelFarce?

Not sure who gets the credit.  On Wednesday, 23-09 at 21:35 (timezone unknown), somewhere in Moskva, my parcel was "Despatched to the UK".  Four days later there is no update.  Has it gone by ship?  Or perhaps there's a Lada chugging across Europe with my package.

Russian Post gets full credit for the run-up to 'despatch'.  Parcel was dropped off at a local Moscow post office on Friday, 18/09, so that's five days from posting to 'leaving the country' - all taking place in the greater Moscow area.

Good thing I'm not desperate to receive this package, otherwise I would have been ranting about the seller who took a week to collect funds from WesterUnion.  ::-)

One week since my parcel was "Despatched to the UK" from Moscow, and still no update.  My money is on transport by Lada, but heading East from Moscow, not West.

Once they've built the Bering Strait Fixed Link (and the infrastructure at either end) it'll be in Anchorage in no time.

They must have turned back West when they hit the Urals.

The saga:
* 5 days from posting in Moscow to being exported from Moscow
* 13 days from export to arrival in the UK
* <10 hours from arrival to delivery.

THE END
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 07 October, 2020, 03:09:27 pm
My beer didn't arrive yesterday because Yodel found 'my property to be inaccessible.' Yetis in the driveway, bears behind the porch, I assume. Or big fat lie.

For bonus points, it seems we have to contact them to arrange redelivery.

They did that to me.  The distance from Larrington Gardens Road to the Grand Portico of Larrington Towers is about twelve of the BRITONS' feet, but I expect their lackey got confused by the front door being on Larrington Gardens Road and not Larrington Towers Road* like wot the address says.  Subsequent Yodelackeys have found it without difficulty.  You can do the redelivery thing via their webshite without any nonsense from the “Sorry We Missed You” lie-card, which in my case I had not got.

* front door jiggery-pokery courtesy of a Mr H Göring and his æronaut friends.

I think it was because it was 6pm and he couldn't be bothered finishing the route. Mostly annoyed my wife who kept getting texts saying 'soon, sooner, soonist' and then 'no can do.'

I'm quite sure my property is accessible and there's only two houses my street so it's not exactly difficult to find.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 07 October, 2020, 05:57:29 pm
I quite like Yodel. They deliver to our side door porch without even ringing the bell. Regardless of whether we're in or out, in bed or up. Perfect
Most other outfits, including royal mail do likewise after failing to get a response to the front door bell.
There's only one major courier (can't recall the name just now) (DPD? something like that) who throw a sulk if we don't provide a presence.
In fact Royal mail and Yodel had to de-learn actually walking into the kitchen.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 October, 2020, 06:35:46 pm

Opened front door to go out, found an open parcel with lose black nitrile gloves (quite a few), and next to it the item my housemate had ordered. He hadn't ordered the gloves.

Then just now opened front door to find my saw was there on the door step.

No knock. I was in at both times.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 07 October, 2020, 08:05:32 pm
Attempt 2. Couldn't access your property. (I'm not sure of the exact wording, my wife is stomping around, conjuring up some precisely honed invective – it's not like it's urgent but stop telling us you're going to deliver it and not, I don't give a shit if you say 'next Tuesday'.)

I checked. Fortress gate? No. Moat? No. Drawbridge? No. Flaming flagons of boiling oil? On the hob.

I'd like a moat around The Asbestos Palace though. At the weekend, I was admiring the moat around Groombridge Place. Alas, it's not the sort of thing you can steal.

I think most of the couriers these days are 'franchises', everyone hates Hermes, but the couple who deliver our stuff for them are the best of the bunch.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 07 October, 2020, 08:15:13 pm
Due to the no signature rules most couriers are using I'm generally finding our deliveries dumped in various locations in our workshop.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 21 October, 2020, 01:44:57 pm
DHL this morning. Guy comes to the door to deliver a package which was a load of financial stuff which needed reading and signing for a return this afternoon in a separate pick up. Demands the paperwork for the return, which I don't have (I didn't know it, but it was in the package). Aggressively tells me, 'You booked it mate, you should have the paperwork'. I didn't book it (the sender did), and told him so, and that if there was no paperwork it wasn't my problem, it was the sender's. 'Well I can't fucking take it if you don't have the paperwork'. I repeated that it wasn't my problem. 'Well, fuck you you bellend' was his delightful reply. I slammed the door in his face, at which point he started a rant of spectacular proportions (all on video). Unfortunately, I rose to it and reopened the door and told him where to get off. He then approached me and threatened me before marching off. I hesitated then followed him to a) make sure he left my property, and b) didn't damage anything on the way (he was ranting the whole time). He went to his van, where there was another driver. He had a fairly incoherent rant about me at the other guy, at which point I thought they were both going to have a go at me - I was about 20m away, the other side of the cars in the drive. I told them they were on camera (they were, but that one wasn't recording), at which point they retired to the van, had a loud but unintelligible conversation, and then left.

I was very shaken, but managed to get hold of their customer service people to make a complaint. I also told the sender, who has a very large account with DHL so they promised to follow it up from their end. I've told both the sender and DHL that I don't want DHL people on my property ever again.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 October, 2020, 01:52:27 pm
Bloody hell Tim. I'd be calling the old bill on that one.  I hope you're not too shaken by it all.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 21 October, 2020, 02:41:36 pm
Bloody hell Tim. I'd be calling the old bill on that one.  I hope you're not too shaken by it all.

Yes, I thought about that, but I've done it through DHL and the big finance company whose package it was. I don't want to get involved in a protracted investigation and legal process; I'd rather they dealt with it internally and let me move on. It was very unpleasant, and I really don't need to relive it!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 October, 2020, 03:22:39 pm
I'd suggest a restorative cup of tea/brown drink/G&T/light ale.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 21 October, 2020, 05:18:03 pm
Tea will do nicely!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rr on 21 October, 2020, 11:52:00 pm
TNT who work use to send me stuff including expensive IT equipment. Their database maps my postcode to the next street.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 10 November, 2020, 07:27:29 pm

Got an email to say that my jacket is being sent back to me after it was repaired. Yay! Then I read the email, and the address it lists is missing the house number. So it'll never arrive... cos it's a UK system and it's truncated the last digits off the address line, which are most important... Have emailed the company sending the parcel, and sent a tweet to the courier (parcel farce). Let's see how we get on with fixing it...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 11 November, 2020, 10:02:46 pm

Got an email to say that my jacket is being sent back to me after it was repaired. Yay! Then I read the email, and the address it lists is missing the house number. So it'll never arrive... cos it's a UK system and it's truncated the last digits off the address line, which are most important... Have emailed the company sending the parcel, and sent a tweet to the courier (parcel farce). Let's see how we get on with fixing it...

J

Parcelforce refuse to do anything from my end, as it has to be the sender who asks them to change it. I have contacted the sender, who will see if they can update the address label.

The jacket has made it to .NL, so in theory if the label is fixed, I'll get it tomorrow.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2020, 12:36:33 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 14 November, 2020, 12:39:42 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".

Well at least they are honest about the odds of your parcel arriving intact.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on 14 November, 2020, 02:26:10 pm
Random information but
FedEx own TNT, and DHL own UK Mail.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 14 November, 2020, 05:11:06 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2020, 06:07:02 pm
I just got a tracking email from Herpes.  The body consisting of one word: "null".

Well at least they are honest about the odds of your parcel arriving intact.

null was delivered about 40 minutes later, mildly dented.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 15 November, 2020, 10:16:24 pm
Parcelforce refuse to do anything from my end, as it has to be the sender who asks them to change it. I have contacted the sender, who will see if they can update the address label.

The jacket has made it to .NL, so in theory if the label is fixed, I'll get it tomorrow.

J

Arrived Friday. All in all the address faff added only one extra day to the transit. Not bad.

Now waiting for a package from the states, and a few from china...

Patience...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 16 November, 2020, 09:01:21 pm
My Hermes package is now 3 hours late.   Their tracker says it will be here by 18:00...


Edit !  Just delivered,  while I've got something bubbling on the stove.  So I'll have to run down & grab it later. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 28 November, 2020, 01:39:02 pm
Ordered an A1 picture frame from an Ebay seller a few weeks ago. After a couple of days I had a message saying it had been despatched with an ETA. As it is large, I put the delivery address as my place of work. Cometh the day,cometh not the package.  Wait a few days, still not arrived. Got on with other stuffs and eventually the other day contacted the seller. Their tracking info says it was left with a neighbour on the 16th, see drop card for details. The next door neighbours of the unit I gave for delivery are our factory and the tiny office where I lurk. No drop card either. Contact seller again for more details. They say call Sh!te courier. I endure 15 minutes of horrid hold music then speak to a human. She says the info on their website is wrong, it wasn't left with a neighbour , it's in their depot. She couldn't explain why it wasn't delivered or why the info was wrong. Delivery rescheduled for Monday. Why they hadn't called me I know not. DX Delivery,you are not my favourite courier right now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 28 November, 2020, 01:50:23 pm
Unusually, my Amazon delivery to work was left in reception. Which is just a hallway with a chair and a phone, open to anyone who chances to enter. Luckily (unlike the Sonos Playbase similarly left there by Hermes a couple of years ago) it was relatively inexpensive, and a passing colleague brought i5 up to me.

To be fair, in 3 1/2 years, they are the only 2 that haven’t been taken around to Goods In.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 01 December, 2020, 08:50:09 am
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Phoned the not helpful line at DX this morning.  "Unfortunately we were unable to deliver it yesterday. We will reschedule for tomorrow, 2nd Decmeber" said the robotoic voice.

"Fuck off" said Tim, and slammed the phone down. No option to speak to a Real Human

<goes off to make $Brown_Drink before something gets broken>
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 01 December, 2020, 11:47:39 am
I have a new laptop arriving today... via DHL, whose tracking app leaves much to be desired.  Apparently I shall receive it at some time before the end of the day.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 01 December, 2020, 11:50:54 am
Amazingly Hermes have a new guy local to me and he has been far more reliable than the one he seems to have replaced.  As more and more sellers seem to be opting for Hermes I hope this little flurry of efficiency is not short lived.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 01 December, 2020, 11:53:57 am
Amazingly Hermes have a new guy local to me and he has been far more reliable than the one he seems to have replaced.  As more and more sellers seem to be opting for Hermes I hope this little flurry of efficiency is not short lived.


We have a regular DPD man, Emil, who is fab.  Unfortunately, he is leaving due to Brexit...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 01 December, 2020, 08:15:56 pm
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Ah DX. Commiserations. I hope you're at home in general because eventually they might just leave it outside your house and run away.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 02 December, 2020, 11:45:19 am
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Ah DX. Commiserations. I hope you're at home in general because eventually they might just leave it outside your house and run away.


DX used to be excellent, when they were doing what they were originally set up for - exchanging legal documents.  Since they've expanded they've become crap.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 02 December, 2020, 01:15:16 pm
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Ah DX. Commiserations. I hope you're at home in general because eventually they might just leave it outside your house and run away.


DX used to be excellent, when they were doing what they were originally set up for - exchanging legal documents.  Since they've expanded they've become crap.
Having had $Brown_Drink yesterday I phoned their Not Help Line again. No chance to speak to people, only robots. No chance for a delivery yesterday, so rescheduled for today. Had an email from them this morning saying they were sorry I'd been having problems but they're really busy. That was in response to an email I sent Monday.  Then I had a text saying they can't deliver today and to go to the rebooking site. Which shows it as scheduled for "my chosen date".  Load of nonsense.

Reg- ah legal documents, of course. That's what the DXnnnnnn number on Solicitors' addresses is about then?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 02 December, 2020, 01:43:10 pm
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Ah DX. Commiserations. I hope you're at home in general because eventually they might just leave it outside your house and run away.


DX used to be excellent, when they were doing what they were originally set up for - exchanging legal documents.  Since they've expanded they've become crap.

My optical supplier did once briefly use DX to distribute through-the-post contact lenses. You know, the packages that are specifically designed to go through your letterbox. DX demanded they be signed for, or took them back.

That didn't last long, for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 02 December, 2020, 02:19:56 pm
Can you guess what happened yesterday?  Was my package delivered betwen 0900 and 1700? Was it bollocks.

Ah DX. Commiserations. I hope you're at home in general because eventually they might just leave it outside your house and run away.


DX used to be excellent, when they were doing what they were originally set up for - exchanging legal documents.  Since they've expanded they've become crap.
Having had $Brown_Drink yesterday I phoned their Not Help Line again. No chance to speak to people, only robots. No chance for a delivery yesterday, so rescheduled for today. Had an email from them this morning saying they were sorry I'd been having problems but they're really busy. That was in response to an email I sent Monday.  Then I had a text saying they can't deliver today and to go to the rebooking site. Which shows it as scheduled for "my chosen date".  Load of nonsense.

Reg- ah legal documents, of course. That's what the DXnnnnnn number on Solicitors' addresses is about then?

I think you'll find that fewer and fewer solicitors* are using DX (it was originally set up for them) with the advent of this new-fangled e-mail stuff . .. and that "virtual signatures" rather then "wet signatures" are now valid.

*the one we use for property stuff is a big group with about 30 locations and they dropped DX in December 2019.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 03 December, 2020, 09:45:57 am
RM still claiming they'll deliver my keyboard between 8am and midday today despite it still showing as being 116 miles away in the Bristol MC, but then RM do often have times when they fail to scan the parcel on the way through and the first thing you know about it is the doorbell going.

Luckily I've:-
a) got some work to distract me
b) already mentally resigned myself to the fact it won't come today and will be here tomorrow
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 03 December, 2020, 03:01:51 pm
As expected, nothing.

RM tracking site still says they have access to a time machine and it will be with me this morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 03 December, 2020, 04:54:15 pm
After my last experience with a violent DHL driver, when I was told to expect a DHL delivery yesterday I diverted it to a drop-off point locally. DHL confirmed that it had been dropped off and gave me the codes to recover the package. I duly arrived at the drop-off location today. No parcel. Never seen it. There is no way of sensibly getting hold of DHL to find out what's happened to it. All I can do is wait for wherever it's ended up to return it to DHL who hopefully will return it to the sender - who can then do as I originally asked and use someone else!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 03 December, 2020, 07:33:50 pm
I cannot complain about DPD.  I ordered some beer from belgium a couple of weeks ago.  Then another order this week.  DPD delivered the first in two days from Belgium. They slipped bit this busy week. Mondays order only arrived today (3 days)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Greenbank on 04 December, 2020, 08:34:59 am
As expected, nothing.

RM tracking site still says they have access to a time machine and it will be with me this morning.

After being in Bristol MC yesterday morning it is now in a closer mail centre to me! Hurrah!

Except it is now in Chelmsford MC.

So instead of being 110 miles W of me it's now 40 miles NE of me.

Hoping it'll get to me today at some point.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Guy on 04 December, 2020, 08:54:48 am
DPD yesterday. They texted a photo of the bottom half of a front door with a parcel on the doorstep. The intended recipient of the parcel posted the photo on our local faecesbook group asking "Does anyone recognise this front door? If so, please get in touch - that's my parcel and I don't know where it is!"*




*paraphrased to correct typical faecesbook user spelin an gramer.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 04 December, 2020, 09:52:50 am
It seems Hermes are delivering my contact lenses and they were very informative. Emails, texts. It's coming. It's coming! IT'S COMING SOON!!!!

It's a box that fits through the letterbox and is designed to be, well, sent by post.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 December, 2020, 12:04:16 pm
Yesterday I rebooked delivery for today. Got a text today saying they can't deliver today and I should rebook. FFS.

Managed to find a phone number and speak to someone. I shouldn't rebook apparently, despite what their text said, they'll get it to me when they can. I can't go and pick it up as they closed their collection wotsit.

Unbelievably shite.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on 04 December, 2020, 12:23:35 pm
Ordered some specs that are supposed to be very helpful with migraine, moreso that normal sunglasses. Unfortunately only available in the states; company sent via DHL Express.

They've had an exciting adventure this week through Miami, Cincinnati, Brussels, Heathrow, Luton, back to Heathrow. Yesterday they got to the Lambeth delivery facility early in the morning and that's where they're stuck it seems; frustrating given that's only 6 miles away. I've paid the duty so that's not it.

Seems impossible to phone to find out why they've not gone out for delivery so I've emailed and just have to wait I guess.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 04 December, 2020, 12:34:42 pm
Returning a parcel is just as much fun.

The Amazons sent me a whiteboard. Plantastic! Except at some point, an elephant had tried to use it as a surfboard. Hey look, new undesirable feature, it folds down the middle.

So, log-on, ask for it be returned. Sure thing, ian! Except they want me to organize the return. Seems a bit annoying as it's not my problem, but #firstworldproblem, it's a couple of minutes with a browser.

Except it's too big for the normal services, so much faff and the prices to courier it back are more than the item. I give up and go back to Amazon, you sort it out. Apparently, the bots don't have that option. Seriously.

OK, I don't want to be the sort of dick who shouts at minions in Faroffland reading a script at corporate gunpoint, so I end up booking a giant parcel at a return cost > item. Some kind of genius, I'm sure, but they'll apparently refund me (plus a gift token for my trouble). One of the options was £145, I was tempted. I presume it gets chauffeured for that.

Palaverama.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 04 December, 2020, 01:03:44 pm
Trevor from Yodel: Fuck off, you lying twat! You haven't tried my doorbell three times over the last week or so. How do I know? Well, maybe because I've been self-Isolating and stuck at home for the last 10 days and would've heard you.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 04 December, 2020, 01:17:05 pm
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 December, 2020, 02:11:53 pm
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Ringing is for when an answer is requird.
Cnoking is for when an ansr is not reqid.

Obvs.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 04 December, 2020, 03:40:35 pm
Yes, the doorbell is working, as umpteen other couriers have proved. It's spoke reflectors, so summat I'd have liked to have had for next week's commute.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on 04 December, 2020, 04:46:31 pm
Ordered some specs that are supposed to be very helpful with migraine, moreso that normal sunglasses. Unfortunately only available in the states; company sent via DHL Express.

They've had an exciting adventure this week through Miami, Cincinnati, Brussels, Heathrow, Luton, back to Heathrow. Yesterday they got to the Lambeth delivery facility early in the morning and that's where they're stuck it seems; frustrating given that's only 6 miles away. I've paid the duty so that's not it.

Seems impossible to phone to find out why they've not gone out for delivery so I've emailed and just have to wait I guess.

Someone has responded to my tweet. They've said they can see it was loaded into a van this morning and then taken out again  ???

They don't know why, because the depot isn't answering their phone.

I can only speculate that they're busy with Black Friday parcels and struggling, decided there wasn't time to make the delivery, and maybe it will finally be allowed onto a van on Monday.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 04 December, 2020, 05:59:55 pm
Ugh!

Which kind of spex did you go for?

I have precision tinted Cerium blue lenses with a tint of turquoise... £££ but the only thing that helps the extreme visual stress at all.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 December, 2020, 06:25:20 pm
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Ringing is for when an answer is requird.
Cnoking is for when an ansr is not reqid.

Obvs.

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49865651708_7e238994eb_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iYsuXE)
Clever Trever from that Yodel attempts to puzzle out CAMRAman's front door (https://flic.kr/p/2iYsuXE) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 December, 2020, 12:34:12 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 05 December, 2020, 08:37:39 pm
For the first time in an aeon, they actually shoved the 'we need a signature' card through the door and ran off with my parcel rather the purposefully ignoring the 'leave it behind the porch' sign and dumping my package on the doorstep. Which is great as it's something I really needed (wellies that don't leak). Double great as I paid extra for them to be delivered yesterday – which obviously they weren't – and the next redelivery date is Tuesday. Ah toes of my left foot, salvation is not yet yours.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 05 December, 2020, 10:24:59 pm
It seems Hermes are delivering my contact lenses and they were very informative. Emails, texts. It's coming. It's coming! IT'S COMING SOON!!!!

It's a box that fits through the letterbox and is designed to be, well, sent by post.

They'll still likely manage to put it through the letterbox of the house with the same number on the other street.
As they keep doing for me, at least it goes to someone I've cycled with a good few times, and is into cars and photography and not one of the weirdos, although I suppose they're less likely to have a use for bike parts, car parts and old cameras...



Got an e-mail from DPD last night
"Sorry there's a problem at our depot, your Handbrake cable is delayed"

Then this morning it gave 1657 to 1757.

Think Steve Turned up bang on 1657 with it; but for a delivery driver he's rather good, has the added advantage of living over here, and if he empties his van doesn't have to go back to the depot, so usually tries again later.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on 07 December, 2020, 12:06:29 pm
Ugh!

Which kind of spex did you go for?

I have precision tinted Cerium blue lenses with a tint of turquoise... £££ but the only thing that helps the extreme visual stress at all.

They're from a company called Avulux and are relatively new but seem to have some promising studies behind them. They block white, blue, amber and red but allow in green (which is apparently helpful). Also £££ and even more £££ once you've paid the duty on them, but needs must. If they bring about a significant difference I'll post about it elsewhere.

DHL really do sound chaotic. At 5.30pm on Friday there was a knock on the door and he was there with the parcel. So it did make it onto the van after all.

An hour or so later I got an email from customer service apologising that it hadn't made it onto the van because of an operational issue and saying it might be delivered Monday (today) but they couldn't be sure. Confirming that they really don't have a clue what's going on.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 December, 2020, 07:33:31 pm
So, getting a parcel collected is no more fun than having one delivered. Less so, it's like a reverse Christmas were Santa comes down the chimney and burgles you. You're not even getting Fun Stuff.

In a somewhat predictable form, my collection arranged to happen precisely between 0800-2000 today didn't. Hermes failed to collect my parcel. Thanks for the update at 1927. Why, well, because they couldn't, that's why.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 09 December, 2020, 12:41:19 pm
Useless Parcel Service.

I ordered some stuff for work last month. Was coming in two packages, a normal sized box and a long one containing cable ducting.
Tracking said it was out for delivery, never arrived. Part way through the following day it said that delivery was delayed due to the house number being wrong. Which is impressive as it was to an industrial estate with a central post room, where the guys on the gate would direct a driver to. And it has lots of deliveries, so must be a known destination for all the delivery companies.
Stuck on "we'll redeliver soon" for a couple of days, until I got the sender to kick them. Then they delivered, but a mistake in picking at the sender's place meant I received a garden fork rather than cable ducting. A couple of days later UPS called (left a message) asking if I'd now received both parcels, because their system was only showing one delivered and they couldn't find the other one.
Then the sender said they'd send out a courier to pick up the fork, and refunded me that part. UPS refused to pick it up for some reason (I found out when the still-in-original-packaging fork arrived back on my desk a week later as the postroom were sick of looking at it).

Yesterday was due to have a work related UPS delivery to home. Up mid-morning today it was still showing as delivery expected between 11 and 3pm yesterday. Now it's showing unspecified delay. Great.

Our local DPD is brilliant, but back when eldest son was at Uni their local DPD driver would come around in her little car dropping off "sorry you weren't in" cards as quietly as possible (they caught her in the act, running back to her car). She'd come around with the van with the parcels presumably when she'd got enough in the area to be worth her while, and having pocketed the failed delivery money.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fuzzy on 09 December, 2020, 10:37:13 pm
AO texted me at 7:15 a.m. Yesterday to say that my outlaws tumble dryerp would be delivered twixt 7:30 and 10:30 a.m.
We leaped in the car and started the 65 mile drive to install the machine. Half way there we got a call to say they were five minutes out.
Ten minutes later we got a call to say the machine wasn't on the truck! We will deliver tomorrow they say.
No you won't say we. We can't repeat this journey till the weekend. Deliver it between 10 a.m and mid day on Sunday.
OK says they.
At 8:30 a.m. this very morning, I gets a call from AO to say they are trying to deliver the machine but no one is answering the door........
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 10 December, 2020, 10:17:03 pm
I finally have my parcel. Let joy be unconfined.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 10 December, 2020, 10:25:00 pm
DPD's email yesterday said my box of beer would be delivered today and they'd text when it left the depot.

Nothing, nada, zilch.

So I clicked through to the tracking info. Apparently an order has been placed with them but they haven't got my parcel in hand yet.

Right then.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 11 December, 2020, 09:19:25 am
DPD. Parcel with wrong product sent in error. Told delivery man I was not accepting it and it was to be RTS and he took it away. Replacement parcel with correct product arrives next day. A day later the original parcel is redelivered whilst I am in the rear garden for two minutes. The Mrs can't see very well so wouldnt know better. Strewth.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 12 December, 2020, 02:55:23 pm
Hermes (again).  I just had a call from an unrecognised mobile. Seems Hermes, in their wisdom, decided that the winter cycling boots I had to return to Salt Dog Cycling in Northampton as being too small would be better sent to Joe Random - in Lockerbie. This was achieved by the simple method of slapping a new label (which was easily - thankfully - peeled off by the recipient) to reveal the original address.  >:(

And of course, this morning, entirely predictably “this callers phone is currently unavailable, please try later”. And the web chat is a loop that it’s a struggle to get out of. If I had any confidence in getting paid, I’d just pretend it was lost and claim on the insurance I bought from them. It may yet come to that - and I’ll get the boot back too.

ETA: As expected, Hermes "cant fiind" my parcel - despite my sending them an email with photographs, and the address where my parcel can be found. And inviting me to claim on the insurance - which I will do, plus ask the guy  who received them to send them on to the retailer (at my cost, of course, and NOT by Hermes!) so I can get my refund from them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 29 December, 2020, 01:05:45 am
(click to show/hide)

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 December, 2020, 05:01:04 pm
In similar vein, the Ethernet cable I ordered off of that Bay of Thieves, that they have now, had an ETA of Saturday.  It arrived today, though according to the notification e-mail it arrived in three hours time ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 21 February, 2021, 07:10:43 pm
Driver today who parked completely on the path so we had to walk round on the grass to get by. I politely questioned if he thought it was acceptable and his reply was Amazon.

Anyone know how to complain to amazon without an account or by posting on their Facebook. I know they'll take no action but can at least stir a little
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Legs on 31 March, 2021, 04:08:46 pm
APC ‘Overnight’, you are so ironic.

Poor woman I spoke to at the call centre had no way of telling me whether my consignment (a bed) was out for delivery today (rearranged at not inconsiderable effort because they insist on a signature: I’ve taken the day WFH but it’s not arrived yet...). I infer from this that they don’t actually have a functioning tracking system.  What the actual fuck?!?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 April, 2021, 12:41:38 pm
Hermes are going to surcharge me again for sending an oversize parcel...I measured it carefully and it was just inside the 245cm limit.  I might challenge them this time, as they try it on every now and then.  Once was on a return to Golden Age Cycles, and the rogue who runs it wouldn't refund me even though it was HIS box and HIS choice of courier.  I won't return eBay stuff without a seller-provided label now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 02 April, 2021, 12:46:26 pm
Hermes are going to surcharge me again for sending an oversize parcel...I measured it carefully and it was just inside the 245cm limit.

Presumably it was slightly over after they'd finished squashing it.

Anyway, credit where it's due.  I got an email yesterday containing a photo of barakta's feet and the parcel carefully positioned so as not to show the big hole next to the 'fragile' tape before she'd even closed the door.  This promptness no doubt helped by the tracking system still operating on GMT.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 02 April, 2021, 12:51:40 pm
I can't be doing with couriers delivering a day early.  WTF is going on? 

My Herpes for the record ...

Parcel farce still delivering late round here though.  The balance has to come somewhere.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 02 April, 2021, 02:14:17 pm

A friend is sending me a gift from the UK. Parcel tracking has Hermes having picked it up from the parcel shop on the 22nd...

And no further updates...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 02 April, 2021, 05:11:59 pm
I can't be doing with couriers delivering a day early.  WTF is going on? 
My Herpes for the record ...
Parcel farce still delivering late round here though.  The balance has to come somewhere.

Only ONE day early? You was ROBBED!

On Monday, D ordered Stuffs from Am*z*n, went for FREE! Standard Delivery & was given Thursday as delivery date.
Arrived Tuesday via Am*z*n Logistics.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 29 April, 2021, 01:47:18 pm

Tracking an Amazon parcel that DPD are delivering. This makes no sense whatsoever even allowing for time zone differences.

Tuesday, 27 April
  6:03 PM
    Parcel left the carrier facility
    US
  4:23 PM
    Completed customs clearance process
    GB
  1:51 PM
    Initiated customs clearance process
    GB
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: fimm on 29 April, 2021, 01:49:25 pm
Had a nice email from seller of THING. "Hi! Your THING is being made". So how come it has already been delivered?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 29 April, 2021, 02:39:14 pm
Not exactly a courier issue - more one of picking at the supplier . . .    ordered 2 items (the same) via ebay from a supplier I have used before.   Package arrived promptly but with only 1 of the items.

Sent a message to the supplier - they replied demanding "a photograph to prove that one item was missing" .... err, that doesn't make a lot of sense.   

Anyway sent a pic of the one item and the packaging . .  where the weight marked on the RM label made it obvious that only one item could have been sent.   There was initial questioning of my integrity by the supplier - "we can't just take anyone's word"

OK - but for an item that is priced at £3.    Allegedly the missing item is being sent today.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 29 April, 2021, 06:32:10 pm
I have a friend who runs a high quality special award and memento type ebay shop.  He is ripped off all the time.  He factors it into the cost but perhaps your supplier cannot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pingu on 29 April, 2021, 09:46:13 pm
Had a nice email from seller of THING. "Hi! Your THING is being made". So how come it has already been delivered?

Somebody is wondering where their THING is.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 29 April, 2021, 10:00:18 pm

Tracking an Amazon parcel that DPD are delivering. This makes no sense whatsoever even allowing for time zone differences.

Tuesday, 27 April
  6:03 PM
    Parcel left the carrier facility
    US
  4:23 PM
    Completed customs clearance process
    GB
  1:51 PM
    Initiated customs clearance process
    GB

Maybe that last entry went into the system a long time after the event: customs clearance initiated 1.51, completed 4.23 makes sense to me...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 29 April, 2021, 10:27:52 pm

Tracking an Amazon parcel that DPD are delivering. This makes no sense whatsoever even allowing for time zone differences.

Tuesday, 27 April
  6:03 PM
    Parcel left the carrier facility
    US
  4:23 PM
    Completed customs clearance process
    GB
  1:51 PM
    Initiated customs clearance process
    GB

Maybe that last entry went into the system a long time after the event: customs clearance initiated 1.51, completed 4.23 makes sense to me...

Maybe. Its the parcel left carrier in the US after it cleared UK customs that gets me since its coming from the US to the UK.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 30 April, 2021, 12:06:20 pm

Tracking an Amazon parcel that DPD are delivering. This makes no sense whatsoever even allowing for time zone differences.

Tuesday, 27 April
  6:03 PM
    Parcel left the carrier facility
    US
  4:23 PM
    Completed customs clearance process
    GB
  1:51 PM
    Initiated customs clearance process
    GB

Maybe that last entry went into the system a long time after the event: customs clearance initiated 1.51, completed 4.23 makes sense to me...

Maybe. Its the parcel left carrier in the US after it cleared UK customs that gets me since its coming from the US to the UK.


Steph may be able to help with this but, AIUI, some of the larger postal/courier systems do the UK customs stuff before items are dispatched.  The wonders of modern technology.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 30 April, 2021, 12:20:47 pm
Have to say FedEx were excellent with the most recent parcel.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 30 April, 2021, 12:22:17 pm
Still having problems with couriers dumping items in the workshop or by the front door without notifying anyone

However today we had a parcel dropped off by UPS which was sent in January. Coming from abroad had all the fun with customs and then got the our local distributor in Feb but then qent on a tour of the country and got lost

Sender has resent and claimed but the parts finally turned up. Oddly says the address was wrong on the tracking but all details on the box are correct and the replacement landed in about 4 days
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 14 May, 2021, 09:52:57 am
Well that’s a novel approach. I’d received the usual text notifications from the Royal Mail that they had a parcel for me which would be delivered between 9.03 and 1.03 and that it needed to,be signed for. All good because I’m expecting a parcel. Came out 0f the bathroom to find postie had been with letters being on the floor. Ok, so I checked outside on the porch, no parcel. I’m just having a coffee and I get another text from RM saying that they’ve delivered my parcel. You have? I think and I’m on my way to the front doo to see if I’d missed it on the porch or something and I’m just about to click through to the tracking to see if there’s any information. Then the doorbell rings. I open the door almost immediately because, as noted above, I was on my way to the door already. I see the departing back of the postie* as he disappears down the drive. Odd. I look down and on the doorstep is the needs to be signed for parcel for which I received the delivered notification 4 minutes ago. </rant>

*Im not sure if it’s the same chap but the postie is doing strange things at the moment. He arrives at our end of the road in his van and then wanders around with a sack of letters, posting them through everyone’s door. Then 20 or 30 minutes later he then does the same route with a sack of smallish parcels. I don’t know if this is a personal initiative by this one particular postie or if it’s a clever effort saving ruse developed as the brainchild of a newly appointed MBA somewhere.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 May, 2021, 12:34:52 pm
Anecdotally, they appear to be handling the stuff that won't fit through letterboxes separately.  Probably makes the delivery round times more consistent, though whether that's actually a benefit is unclear.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 14 May, 2021, 12:58:53 pm
Well that’s a novel approach. I’d received the usual text notifications from the Royal Mail that they had a parcel for me which would be delivered between 9.03 and 1.03 and that it needed to,be signed for. All good because I’m expecting a parcel. Came out 0f the bathroom to find postie had been with letters being on the floor. Ok, so I checked outside on the porch, no parcel. I’m just having a coffee and I get another text from RM saying that they’ve delivered my parcel. You have? I think and I’m on my way to the front doo to see if I’d missed it on the porch or something and I’m just about to click through to the tracking to see if there’s any information. Then the doorbell rings. I open the door almost immediately because, as noted above, I was on my way to the door already. I see the departing back of the postie* as he disappears down the drive. Odd. I look down and on the doorstep is the needs to be signed for parcel for which I received the delivered notification 4 minutes ago. </rant>

*Im not sure if it’s the same chap but the postie is doing strange things at the moment. He arrives at our end of the road in his van and then wanders around with a sack of letters, posting them through everyone’s door. Then 20 or 30 minutes later he then does the same route with a sack of smallish parcels. I don’t know if this is a personal initiative by this one particular postie or if it’s a clever effort saving ruse developed as the brainchild of a newly appointed MBA somewhere.

That's precisely what our man is doing - it's quicker to get rid of all the letters (more letterboxes) first and then parcels with fewer drops - he parks his van at the top of the road, walks the letters and back to his van - then moves the van  down the road a few times as parcel drops are made.

What will be interesting is when the RM pick-up mail service gets started in any volume and the impact on mail delivery times during the day . . . .  I walked to the post box this morning (renewal for my bus pass if you must know!) but that could have been picked up by the postman.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 14 May, 2021, 01:32:10 pm
CitySprint. My Wickes order originally said the delivery slot was 7am to 7pm. I wake this morning to find a text saying it'll be with me between 8am and 1pm. Right, so we can't do our morning Tesco run but at least that narrows it down.

Of course it's still not here though I've just had a text saying "it's on the way". Great, had I known it was actually an afternoon delivery we'd have done the shopping already and I'd have had croissants for breakfast. Now I've got to go shopping on my own after you eventually deliver.

Boo.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Ashaman42 on 14 May, 2021, 02:10:19 pm
Aaaand it's arrived and it's not all there. And the driver just dropped it on the concrete path with little care. Luckily I can hide the marks on the underside/inside.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 15 May, 2021, 03:38:58 pm

Despite me being home all day, staying in intentionally so that I would be here for my parcel. DHL didn't even bother to ring the door bell. So now I have to wait until Monday afternoon to be able to pick up my box of tools. Argh.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 15 May, 2021, 06:28:23 pm
Back when my eldest offspring lived in studentland, the local Hermes courier regularly didn't even make a pretense of trying to deliver; she'd drive round in a small parcel-less car, sneaking up to houses and posting the "sorry we missed you" card. One time he heard the letter box, opened the door, and saw her literally running to her car and refusing to reply It took many complaints before that was sorted and they got a new local driver.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 15 May, 2021, 09:38:49 pm
I think many companies are substituting a parcel doorstep photo for a signature.

Several firms seem to be messaging 'arrived/delivered' texts a few minutes before taxi/parcel/letter materialise.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 15 May, 2021, 11:23:58 pm
I think many companies are substituting a parcel doorstep photo for a signature.

Several firms seem to be messaging 'arrived/delivered' texts a few minutes before taxi/parcel/letter materialise.
The better ones seem to need an opened door in the doorstep photo. The RM aren’t in this category.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 16 May, 2021, 08:05:08 am
As an aside to all the comments on courier firms . . . .  I wonder if there has been a growth in "customer fraud" since March 2020 when pretty much every delivery went signature-free?  Have people, dishonestly, denied receipt of goods?

Pre-pandemic I understand that quite a lot of merchants had demographic/postcode driven decisions on whether they woud deliver signature required or signature free.

I would add that having had a LOT of stuff delivered - we moved house a couple of weeks before the first lockdown and had loads of stuff to buy from about 4 white goods items through timber and down to packets of screws - with minimal issues . . .  but then, of course, we were here pretty much all the time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 31 May, 2021, 08:25:25 pm
The islands have a special, unique courier service. 'Woodies'.

They have a warehouse in Inverness and the way to get a lot of goods is to have them shipped to Woodies Inverness warehouse, then pay Woodies to bring it to you.

They are excellent at finding your address. They are also excellent at throwing, stamping, chucking and leaving out in the rain.

A sofa arrived, wet. Cardboard soaked through, the cardboard was ripped and so was the heavy plastic inside. Sofa wet (fortunately dried out). This wasn't a drip, oh no, this was a lovely sustained soaking.

Who gives a crap? That arrived soaked. In beer. It has survived, sort of, although we now have beer-scented toilet rolls.

I bought an office chair. One castor smashed off, the leg of the chair was damaged (copious use of epoxy and string has fixed it).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 03 June, 2021, 01:50:27 pm
Today's fun

Parcel one: Get email update that the estimated delivery time would be tomorrow. 20min later, knock knock, open door, see driver legging it and said parcel at my feet.

Parcel two: Get email update that I would get it today between 9:32am and 12:32pm. It's now 1:50pm and no sign of said parcel.

Parcel three: No tracking other that the seller saying that it was shipped yesterday. But the sister company of the company should be delivering Parcel two, arrived about 2 hours ago and delivered it. The driver said sorry only one parcel for you today, could be the Royal sister delivering Parcel two
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 04 June, 2021, 11:43:13 am
Amazon man asks "Can you take a parcel for your neighbour?"
I reply, "Yes, but he's standing there".
I point to Terry at the end of my street. Terry sees the amazon van and waves.
Amazon man gets back in van and drives off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pingu on 05 June, 2021, 11:48:54 pm
Was it for Terry? Did Terry receive it? We need to know!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 06 June, 2021, 11:57:04 am
No the driver drove straight past Terry and disappeared up the road.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: iddu on 19 June, 2021, 12:09:40 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/kxg2akd.png)

Gods'n'fishes...

Hermes - How bad does it have to be for you to say "Yup, that's bolloxed..."?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 19 June, 2021, 02:51:42 pm
Parcel2Go/Hermes brainlessness . . .

I bought a custom made item from China (about £15) - they sent my item to bloke in Wales and I got his - OK mistakes happen - they organised for me to send to Wales and vice versa (paying the carriage cost by way of a refund) - my parcel went and was delivered.

The bloke in Wales sent mine BUT got the number/street/town correct but not the postcode .... mine is CV...  he put SP.. on the parcel.    OK mistakes happen, but that does seem a bit dumb.  It was sent via consolidator/front-end Parcel2Go using Hermes.

No delivery as the system found "no such address" with the postcode.  How much brainpower does it take to see the name of the town and to take 10 seconds to look up the correct postcode???    It's something Royal Mail does as a matter of course - simples.

Package tracking is now saying nothing and the bloke in Wales has had his claim closed - meanwhile a replacement is on its way from China.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 19 June, 2021, 04:19:06 pm
A Facebook friend had some meal ingredients delivered courtesy of Alpine vocal technique.

(https://scontent.flhr4-3.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/200192252_10157892912282161_7484524681374303958_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=7HrCu5r01TkAX9PHOuJ&_nc_ht=scontent.flhr4-3.fna&oh=5dbaf64cc21876567ce41c2ff1dbc8d2&oe=60D323FE)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 07 July, 2021, 09:20:21 am
Well, this is a bit bizarre and might actually end in a successful delivery, but…

I’m expecting a parcel from Germany and the supplier informed my on Monday that they’d contacted DHL.de that it was ready for shipment. DHL.de then informed me that they’d been contacted and have kept me informed of the parcel’s (timely) progress. So far so normal.

This morning I have received a text from Parcel Farce that tye will be delivering a parcel from ‘German’  ??? I’m expecting a delivery from a supplier in Germany, but ‘German’? A quick perusal of the tracking details on both sites suggest it might be the same parcel, but there is no common reference number between the two systems, and although the dates are the same the timings are not. Both companies refer to ‘local’ delivery agents, but neither mentions the other by name.

I know from personal experience that ‘token’ handover between IT systems is hard, but retaining a common reference is crucial, especially for customer updates. Idiots.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 July, 2021, 09:25:43 am
I haz a parcel en route with Yodel.  If they repeat their performance of last year and make no attempt to deliver it first time round I will Have Words with the supplier*, on account of paying a fair bit extra for next-day delivery…

* Ebuyer
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 July, 2021, 08:47:29 am
Herpes seem to have destroyed a Brooks saddle I sold.  I paid for full insurance but the T&Cs say you must use a NEW cardboard box and I used a shoe box.  I do hope they don't try to wriggle out of it on that basis.  Who uses a new box for every eBay sale?

They once destroyed a handlebar and stem.  They looked as if they had been (literally) run over by a truck, possibly a forklift.  Crushed and obviously dragged some distance along a hard floor.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: diapsaon0 on 23 July, 2021, 01:33:31 pm
I now refuse to buy from anyone who says they use UPS unless they PROMISE to use a different carrier.  Too many things lost,damaged or delayed.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 July, 2021, 01:57:35 pm
I've been using Herpes because RM has been totally dysfunctional during the pandemic.  Plus, post office queues and surly, patronising service.  Easier to drop off at the Co-Op next door.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 23 July, 2021, 07:30:33 pm
Hermes again! Ignoring requests to leave parcel OUT OF SIGHT IN THE PORCH. Instead, they just
leave it on the front doorstep and upload a photo taken of it there. >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Bluebottle on 24 July, 2021, 11:17:50 pm
Dynashite, or the three letter equivalent, managed to deliver a 30k bit of kit to the work, in a bashed box, upside down...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Poacher on 26 July, 2021, 04:42:01 pm
Herpes supposed to deliver a package between 2pm and 4pm today, so I stayed in all afternoon, in the front room so I could spot any not bothering to ring the bell, throw parcel towards front door and run away behaviour. No-one visited. Email at 16:04 to say they'll now deliver between 4pm and 6pm. Further email at 16:17 to say local courier has delivered the parcel at 16:16 and left it in our front porch (which we don't have), with a photo of someone else's front door. Piss poor service, and I don't know when or whether I'll get my £56 worth of goods.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 26 July, 2021, 04:48:48 pm

Ordered some really useful boxes, 6 of them, delivered on a pallet.

4 are in fine. The other two look like:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E7OH0pZXMAQ1Bs5?format=jpg&name=large)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E7OHwovWYAcGmO_?format=jpg&name=large)

I rejected them, and have requested they send replacements.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 July, 2021, 04:12:53 pm
Hermes declared the saddle lost and issued a claims code to Packlink.  I refunded the buyer and completed a claim yesterday.

Today, Hermes delivered the saddle to the buyer  :facepalm: :facepalm:

Luckily, he seems decent enough and will pay me for it or send it back (depending on whether it's actually been trashed).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 03 August, 2021, 12:07:52 am

Earlier on I had a little rant on twitter about postNL being shit:

Quote

Am really disappointed with how slow @PostNL are. Having paid the import fees/BTW for my package on Thursday, the package has yet to get out of customs and move towards delivery. I don't understand how they can be so slow. Their process needs dramatic improvement.


To their credit they did respond:

Quote
With the new rules set up by EU is it very busy at customs clearence. We shall improve as quick as possible.

Trying the classic "blame it on the EU" line with a Brit who escaped the country cos of Brexit seems... foolish.

My reply:

Quote
You had over 2 years notice it was happening, and then it was delayed by 6 months due to covid. We knew this was coming. It's shockingly bad planning to not be prepared when you have this much notice.

I've known this was happening since last year. I've told people about it on here, I've posted about it on twitter, I've talked to suppliers I use over seas to make sure they were ready. I'm just a geek who buys too much from all over. You'd think the primary postal company for the Netherlands would have known it was coming enough to be prepared to deal with it. In a tweet last week they suggested it would take 7 days for my parcel to get from customs to my door. After I paid. I do not understand how it can be that slow. That is just bad process design.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 11 August, 2021, 01:44:17 pm
Friend in Sweden needed some stuff from a UK shop on Amazon that didn't ship to Sweden. Getting it from China would be 8-10 weeks at least. So I offered to get the parcel and then send it over to him.

1st parcel, just normal first class international, 3-5 days according to Royal Mail. 3 weeks later nothing.

2st parcel (because it item isn't that expensive), this time with international tracked first class - with champagne, foot massage and eye mask- 3-5 days. Royal Mail said on their tracker that the parcel had left the UK for Sweden on day 2. They also let Post Nord know that there was something coming their way, which Post Nord that evening acknowledged on their tracking page. Now, on day 10 of the saga, Post Nord and Royal Mail both agree that the parcel have landed in Sweden. But Customs got hold of the item and not further information.

Swedish friend is telling me that the Swedish postal service have gone tits up over the last few years. New rules both from government and how the Post Nord are handling goodies etc have just turned the option of sending something with the postal service in to a lottery.

So we are still waiting to see if he ever gets the item. I'm just happy that I didn't do as I was thinking about sending something to him as a little gift in the parcel.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 11 August, 2021, 05:05:43 pm
Update:

Royal Mail: Our delivery partner tried to deliver your parcel on 11-08-2021 but there didn't seem to be anyone in. They've left a note about how to make further arrangements.

Post Nord : The shipment item will be returned. (note, friend have been home all day and no posty have come to his door)

Friend asked the post office erm what is going on? They said - "The package was not declared right on your part... It didn't say Electronic Parts and had no value." Which I did.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 13 August, 2021, 07:28:28 pm
Update :

Royal Mail Thursday 12 August 2021 17:47 Item Leaving the UK United Kingdom. Your item is now leaving the UK. More information will be available when it arrives in the destination country.

Post Nord: Yesterday 17:47 SE The transport of the shipment item has started in the country of the sender.

Eh?!?!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 13 August, 2021, 09:52:09 pm
The courier whomever they might have been (Hermes I think) squashed the box and chipped the contained platter sent to the boy as a wedding present. He was already away, so I took it upon myself to take it to the local branch of John Lewis from whom it had been purchased. The only complication was whether the lady behind the Perspex screen put it through as an internet purchase or as a shop purchase. I said I didn’t care which she took on board and when she came across an issue in the process she declared “I’ll sort that out later. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Shite courier. Excellent customer service from retailer. It’s a shame they used the shite courier though.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 17 August, 2021, 11:38:13 am
Update: First parcel arrived ... a month later ... here at my house.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Regulator on 17 August, 2021, 11:45:38 am
I've had three Hermes deliveries recently, all of which have been on time, without any problems.

I think we are rapidly approaching the End of Days...   it's been nice knowing you all!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 August, 2021, 11:53:38 am
Not exactly a courier, but . . .

Quote
Your parcel has been shipped to the following address . . .

Using Royal Mail 48 Tracked STD 2D. The estimated shipping time for your order is 5-10 Business Days.

Erm, what?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 18 August, 2021, 05:55:13 pm
Not exactly a courier, but . . .

Quote
Your parcel has been shipped to the following address . . .

Using Royal Mail 48 Tracked STD 2D. The estimated shipping time for your order is 5-10 Business Days.

Erm, what?

As the RM say, it’s an aim, not a promise. Plus I guess the sender is adding an allowance for handling. Often “shipped” means “we’re getting ready to send”.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 21 August, 2021, 11:37:38 am
Parcel to Sweden weekly update: Royal Mail: Returned to Sender. Sorry, we were unable to deliver this item at 21-08-2021 as the recipient refused to accept it. It will now be returned to the sender.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 26 August, 2021, 10:48:14 pm
UPS being surprisingly sh!te today.

Email saying delivery scheduled for Tuesday.
Later, email saying delivery moved back to Wednesday.
10 am, email saying that they had delivered the parcel, when they hadn't. Proof of delivery was "DT". Just that, no link, name, photo or anything.
Phone UPS to say that parcel hadn't been delivered. After some time the helpdesk droid said that he would contact the depot.
Thursday morning the parcel arrives, looking worse for wear. The cardboard was split and had been taped over. One of three items was missing, probably escaped through the split before the taping.
I phone the supplier who said they will send replacement for missing item.

Meanwhile, another parcel sent by UPS from another supplier, also had a scheduled delivery for Tuesday, was also put back to Wednesday, but that one did arriver. Proof of delivery was [surname spelt slightly wrong]
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 27 August, 2021, 07:48:30 am
I'm still having problems with couriers just leaving parcels at work and running off. If the people I worked with bothered to close the doors would help as then they need to ring thr doorbell
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 31 August, 2021, 09:40:00 am
Update to parcel to Sweden well back to the UK.

Remember that on the 21st it was being returned to sender according to Royal Mail and at the Feltham Delivery Office.

Since then I contacted Royal Mail on the 28th via their twitter as phone gave me a robot that said the same as the website. I haven't gotten an update from their twitter account but their tracker now show the parcel is moving. Left Sweden and arrived in the UK on the 28th, erm weren't you in the UK already?

So lets see when/if arrives
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 31 August, 2021, 11:18:48 am
I just returned from walkies to find one of these notes from the postie saying that they tried to deliver something and nobody was hope, please collect at the Post Office or book a redelivery.

I refreshed the Royal Mail Tracker to find this - 10:42 Delivery Attempted - No Answer Sweden

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 31 August, 2021, 03:27:40 pm
This is where they'll try to charge you duty + VAT on it  :)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 31 August, 2021, 04:38:32 pm
This is where they'll try to charge you duty + VAT on it  :)
yes, it’ll be £3.82 duty, £11.47 handling fee plus VAT on top of the lot, so £27.13 please.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 31 August, 2021, 05:31:33 pm
Sounds about right for a £3 item that didn't get delivered to where it was send :)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 31 August, 2021, 06:54:23 pm
My parcel coming via ups has been delayed, apparently due to a late flight. Tracked at Stansted at 3.52am this morning.
Were they trying to fly it down to Gatwick  ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 31 August, 2021, 07:04:26 pm
Last week I got a call from goods in at work. A delivery. Sorry, it came in last week but we forgot about it. I’m perplexed. Go down, and find a UPS delivery. Sent from Belgium, on 20th December last year  ::-)

And FedEx have lost a £45,000 x-ray detector somewhere in Memphis.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 31 August, 2021, 07:33:26 pm
They need an x-ray detector detector.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 01 September, 2021, 09:31:57 am
I'm not sure there is a "Good Courier" thread?

So I'm reporting here that I am expecting a delivery by the Royal Mail, between 9:15 and 13:15 today. I know this because I have had three email and three texts telling me. However I do not need to sign for it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 01 September, 2021, 12:36:06 pm
and it is not yet here, with 40 minutes to go, and the risk of three emails and three texts telling me porkies...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 01 September, 2021, 04:23:54 pm
and it is not yet here, with 40 minutes to go, and the risk of three emails and three texts telling me porkies...

Small print - "this is what we'll try to do, no guarantees thobut"
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 01 September, 2021, 05:52:18 pm
I forgot to update…

The box (a replacement router) dropped through the letter box with 20 minutes to spare…
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 01 September, 2021, 09:50:22 pm
Parcelforce today. A tale of two parcels from RS on the same order.

First parcel:-
31/8/2021   19:37   National Hub   Sorted
1/9/2021   0:01   [Town] Depot   Received at delivery depot
1/9/2021   7:19   [Town] Depot   Prepared for delivery
1/9/2021   7:47   [Town] Depot   Out for delivery
1/9/2021   11:51 [Town] Depot   Delivered

Second parcel:-
1/9/2021   5:03   [Town] Depot   Received at delivery depot
1/9/2021   18:54 [Town] Depot   Addressee requested later delivery
1/9/2021   18:54 [Town] Depot   Second delivery attempt scheduled
1/9/2021   20:35 [Town] Depot   Prepared for delivery

There've been two people in all day, and a dog, and we didn't suddenly go online at nearly 7 o'clock in the evening to tell them that we didn't want the parcel.

In this case, a day's delay is no problem but I don't like how they won't admit that they didn't get round to delivering it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 02 September, 2021, 10:27:09 am
The two parcels for Sweden is now back in my hands...

Since it is many small parts I'm thinking about sending them individual via all the couriers I can think off. Heck even via a friend in DK. To see if at least one makes its way past PostNord and into my friends hands.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 02 September, 2021, 10:51:26 pm
Parcelforce today. A tale of two parcels from RS on the same order.

First parcel:-
31/8/2021   19:37   National Hub   Sorted
1/9/2021   0:01   [Town] Depot   Received at delivery depot
1/9/2021   7:19   [Town] Depot   Prepared for delivery
1/9/2021   7:47   [Town] Depot   Out for delivery
1/9/2021   11:51 [Town] Depot   Delivered

Second parcel:-
1/9/2021   5:03   [Town] Depot   Received at delivery depot
1/9/2021   18:54 [Town] Depot   Addressee requested later delivery
1/9/2021   18:54 [Town] Depot   Second delivery attempt scheduled
1/9/2021   20:35 [Town] Depot   Prepared for delivery

There've been two people in all day, and a dog, and we didn't suddenly go online at nearly 7 o'clock in the evening to tell them that we didn't want the parcel.

In this case, a day's delay is no problem but I don't like how they won't admit that they didn't get round to delivering it.
Second parcel has now been delivered dumped on the doorstep without anyone ringing the bell.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 03 September, 2021, 09:48:08 am
Tatted and creased missed delivery card from Yodel on the doormat.

Completely blank. No idea what it is, where it is, or where they might have left it. Somewhere non-obvious, if they have.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 03 September, 2021, 03:41:55 pm
Got an email saying a small ebay package had been delivered by Royal Mail at 11:45.
Postie turned up on his round at about 15:00 and actually gave it to me with our letters.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: orienteer on 06 September, 2021, 01:01:35 pm
Received a letter (greetings card?) among our mail this morning. The house number was right, but we are not neighbours of people in Victoria.

Specifically, Victoria in Australia.

Bore a stamp for £1.70 and an air mail sticker.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 September, 2021, 05:24:14 pm
Tatted and creased missed delivery card from Yodel on the doormat.

Completely blank. No idea what it is, where it is, or where they might have left it. Somewhere non-obvious, if they have.

It turns out these were some flowers for our wedding anniversary (I have no idea why they came via Yodel). Location now unknown. This is why real men buy these things from the local petrol station on the way home. Thanks Yodel.

Parcelforce did their usual stealth delivery of a you're-not-home card earlier while we were busy being very much at home. It's a Window's laptop so I don't even want it, no loss there.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 11 September, 2021, 05:41:45 pm
Had the old parcel-in-the-recycling-bin trick yesterday, it's been a while...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 12 September, 2021, 08:58:16 am
Each year I buy cycling world championship shirt and sometimes shorts.  This is expensive because I have to pay whatever Santini decide is full price. I expect that.

Tomorrow I will be visited by UPS demanding a further £80 before handing over the parcel.
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: grams on 23 September, 2021, 11:23:54 am
Yodel have apparently been to my house three times without leaving a card. The item is now irrevocably stored for collection at my “local” depot which is out by the M25 and at least an hour each way by any form of transport, at least during opening hours.

They might as well have thrown it in the bin.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 23 September, 2021, 12:48:50 pm
Order from Amazon for 3 items (all fulfilled by Amazon) - messages to say they have been shipped and will arrive Tuesday 21 September . . . . no sign of any deliveries . . . went to the tracking and it said:

Unfortunately, a problem occurred during shipping and we had to cancel your delivery. The package is being returned, and we will issue a refund within 5 - 7 business days after the return is processed. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.

Looking at the further details it seems that this was registered on the tracking:

Monday, 20 September
5:45 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
GB
5:21 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
Carrier picked up the package.



All seems odd to me BUT even stranger and annoying is that I've had no notification on the cancellation, refund etc from Amazon - I could still be wating if I hadn't looked at the tracking.

I placed a fresh order for the same things on Tuesday evening and, so far, one item that's marked as shipped left Germany at about 0430 this morning .... nothing on the others.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: grams on 24 September, 2021, 11:07:48 pm
Had another reason to go to Enfield today, so in Yodel’s defence post Covid you now have to sit in your car (you brought a car, right?), read a 20 digit number over the phone and a few minutes later someone comes out and lobs your package through the car window.

Compared to some of the awful experiences I’ve had spending hours sitting (or standing) in grotty receptions wondering what’s going on, it’s a huge improvement.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 25 September, 2021, 01:30:14 pm
Order from Amazon for 3 items (all fulfilled by Amazon) - messages to say they have been shipped and will arrive Tuesday 21 September . . . . no sign of any deliveries . . . went to the tracking and it said:

Unfortunately, a problem occurred during shipping and we had to cancel your delivery. The package is being returned, and we will issue a refund within 5 - 7 business days after the return is processed. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.

Looking at the further details it seems that this was registered on the tracking:

Monday, 20 September
5:45 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
GB
5:21 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
Carrier picked up the package.



All seems odd to me BUT even stranger and annoying is that I've had no notification on the cancellation, refund etc from Amazon - I could still be wating if I hadn't looked at the tracking.

I placed a fresh order for the same things on Tuesday evening and, so far, one item that's marked as shipped left Germany at about 0430 this morning .... nothing on the others.

I had a similar thing happen to me once, and then the seller disappeared. Got my refund.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 25 September, 2021, 02:59:16 pm
Order from Amazon for 3 items (all fulfilled by Amazon) - messages to say they have been shipped and will arrive Tuesday 21 September . . . . no sign of any deliveries . . . went to the tracking and it said:

Unfortunately, a problem occurred during shipping and we had to cancel your delivery. The package is being returned, and we will issue a refund within 5 - 7 business days after the return is processed. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.

Looking at the further details it seems that this was registered on the tracking:

Monday, 20 September
5:45 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
GB
5:21 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
Carrier picked up the package.



All seems odd to me BUT even stranger and annoying is that I've had no notification on the cancellation, refund etc from Amazon - I could still be wating if I hadn't looked at the tracking.

I placed a fresh order for the same things on Tuesday evening and, so far, one item that's marked as shipped left Germany at about 0430 this morning .... nothing on the others.

I had a similar thing happen to me once, and then the seller disappeared. Got my refund.

That was my thinking - but it was 3 separate items from 3 suppliers??   What was more annoying was that I couldn't find anyway to ask WTF was going on - and complain.  The "phone Amazon" thing worked with a call-back BUT as soon as I pressed the number for the option it hung up with a robotic message.  I have yet to see my refund.

Fingers crossed the replacement order will be here shortly . . . tracking says it left Birmingham at 1152 this morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 September, 2021, 03:09:00 pm
Now, Mr Postman, what do you think might be packaged in a square cardboard wossname 30 cm on a side and having the words “Bandcamp Vinyl Pressing Service” written on the outside in large friendly letters?  Do you think it might possibly be an old-skool – gasp – 12” record?  In a cardboard sleeve?  So I'm sure it would be perfectly safe propped up against the wheelie bin and fully exposed to any weather that might happen by in the time that elapses between your delivery attempt and me going shopping.  As a bonus, you could not put a card through the letterbox where I might glimpse it through the window, nestling among the takeaway menus and shitverts from estate agents.  You div.

Fortunately Messrs Bandcamp packed it with an outer plastic sleeve so my precious limited edition vinyl pressing of “Insider” by the mighty Amplifier has neither dissolved in the rain nor been eaten by rats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 27 September, 2021, 03:14:23 pm
Order from Amazon for 3 items (all fulfilled by Amazon) - messages to say they have been shipped and will arrive Tuesday 21 September . . . . no sign of any deliveries . . . went to the tracking and it said:

Unfortunately, a problem occurred during shipping and we had to cancel your delivery. The package is being returned, and we will issue a refund within 5 - 7 business days after the return is processed. We’re very sorry for the inconvenience.

Looking at the further details it seems that this was registered on the tracking:

Monday, 20 September
5:45 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
GB
5:21 PM
Parcel was damaged and will be returned.
Carrier picked up the package.



All seems odd to me BUT even stranger and annoying is that I've had no notification on the cancellation, refund etc from Amazon - I could still be wating if I hadn't looked at the tracking.

I placed a fresh order for the same things on Tuesday evening and, so far, one item that's marked as shipped left Germany at about 0430 this morning .... nothing on the others.

I had a similar thing happen to me once, and then the seller disappeared. Got my refund.

That was my thinking - but it was 3 separate items from 3 suppliers??   What was more annoying was that I couldn't find anyway to ask WTF was going on - and complain.  The "phone Amazon" thing worked with a call-back BUT as soon as I pressed the number for the option it hung up with a robotic message.  I have yet to see my refund.

Fingers crossed the replacement order will be here shortly . . . tracking says it left Birmingham at 1152 this morning.

The items all met up mysteriously in Birmingham and came sometime between 1700-1900 when we were out, but left on the doorstep.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 28 September, 2021, 05:36:04 pm
Text from Parcel Farce at 17:15 your parcel is due to be delivered between 13:26 and 14:26 ... It arrived at 14:15.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 28 September, 2021, 09:13:31 pm
TBF ,I don't think text messages (or email) have a guaranteed delivery time. Emails "should" be more reliable I think.

If they did it would be on a par with "first class post", any flight you book, or any response required from ATOS or Crapita.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 28 September, 2021, 10:31:00 pm
The online tracking link said delivery between 8-14:00 and that they had send a text with details when I looked at about 10am
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 29 September, 2021, 05:41:04 pm
Remember my attempt to send things to my mate in Sweden by registered post and international tracked post, which failed?

I sticky back taped 4 of the wee little electronic bits* to a bit of cardboard. Wrote hippy bathday on the letter stuck a 1st class queenie sticky thing on it and 8 days later it arrived ...

* usb-c charging ports for mobiles, they came in rolls of 30 or 50 and my mate only needed a few.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Salvatore on 12 October, 2021, 12:00:47 pm
I had just left for the station yesterday when my phone rang. I answered it, and it was a Yodel courier who couldn't find my house. Just as I was starting to try and give directions, the bloke walking towards me, with a phone at his ear in one hand and a package in the other,  realised that the voice on the phone was the same as the voice of the approaching pedestrian.  The handover took place there and then. He wasn't interested in where my house was, in case he had to find it again, because this wasn't his normal patch. So shite courier (Yodel) for sending someone who had no idea about the area,  but bonus point to the individual for a bit of initiative.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jayjay on 16 October, 2021, 05:40:19 pm
Amizon package expected sometime, not especially urgent so I didn't attempt to track it.
Email arrived: "Your parcel has been delivered". Odd, we didn't see one. Searched outside, ah! Parcel behind green bin  :)
SWMBO reports later that a delivery card appeared about 11pm "Behind green bin". That's about 5 hours after I fetched it in  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 October, 2021, 06:23:27 pm

Ordered something from an online shop, didn't realise it was in Austria. Sent via post.at. It's apparently been delivered. But I have no idea where. No card is left. and I have no item. Have chased it with postnl (should be delivery partner) but they can't find it, have sent a message to post.at. No reply. Not pleased.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 16 October, 2021, 07:30:43 pm
Ordered something from an online shop, didn't realise it was in Austria. Sent via post.at. It's apparently been delivered. But I have no idea where. No card is left. and I have no item. Have chased it with postnl (should be delivery partner) but they can't find it, have sent a message to post.at. No reply. Not pleased.

Obviously the solution is to leave the European Union, as then you'd helpfully get advance warning of this sort of thing in the form of WTFBloodyHellHowMuch additional tax/shipping costs being added at the checkout, if they don't refuse altogether.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 October, 2021, 08:37:08 pm
Obviously the solution is to leave the European Union, as then you'd helpfully get advance warning of this sort of thing in the form of WTFBloodyHellHowMuch additional tax/shipping costs being added at the checkout, if they don't refuse altogether.

You say that, but the stuff I ordered from Mercian has not arrived, and I also have not received a "Oi, give us money!" ransom note from PostNL.

On the plus side, the book I ordered from the UK, and the thingy I ordered from Canada have both got past the ransom stage (I paid the ransom).

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: toontra on 21 October, 2021, 11:08:41 am
Two Packlink/Hermes deliveries gone missing in 2 days.  The first from Wiggle, the second a purchase from ebay.

In both cases they claim to have been delivered.  I was at home on each occasion and no-one came near the house.  The "proof-of-delivery" photos are a joke - both just a blur and show absolutely nothing.

This seems more like fraud than incompetence.  Of course there is absolutely no way of contacting anyone to alert them to the problem other than a chat bot.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 21 October, 2021, 01:44:23 pm
I’m waiting to two items from different sellers. A delivery van just pulled up outside our house, the driver got out and looked at our front door as he passed from view (I can’t see our up-street gateway from my current seat) so I got up and went to the door to receive my delivery. Imagine my consternation when he didn’t arrive at my front door, but was then seen walking back down next doors drive.
Bloody stupid delivery driver. Park outside the proper house you fool.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 21 October, 2021, 07:16:41 pm
Two Packlink/Hermes deliveries gone missing in 2 days.  The first from Wiggle, the second a purchase from ebay.

In both cases they claim to have been delivered.  I was at home on each occasion and no-one came near the house.  The "proof-of-delivery" photos are a joke - both just a blur and show absolutely nothing.

This seems more like fraud than incompetence.  Of course there is absolutely no way of contacting anyone to alert them to the problem other than a chat bot.

Two google sources give 0330 808 5456 as a number
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 October, 2021, 04:02:41 pm
See div thread for background

Phone ordered Sun eve. Delivery on 28th if I ordered then and paid extra for courier. Phone to be dispatched 27th.

I expected that it would be 29th, not 28th, but that would be ok.

Vodafone hand over phone to courier on 27th, as promised.  Courier tracking link - estimated deliver 3rd Nov. Not 27th.

Since I placed the order, I've also ordered a new phone case and waterproof pouch. They arrived yesterday!

Phone has sat in the same birmingham depot for 24hours now. FFS!

This would be a bit of a 1st world problem if it wasn't that I need a mobile with that exact phone number to get access to some files.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 09 November, 2021, 11:09:38 am
UPS again, just how can they think they are something special, yet have zero idea of what providing a service is.

Item (a very hard to get, resin 3D printer) ordered months ago from firm in Austria.  Obviously its made in China, so its no surprise that its delayed.  Seller gives me options to cancel or wait, very solicitous and efficient.

I get a message from them to say its on its way, and will be delivered on 10th Nov, by UPS.  Groan from me, as UPS are just plain dreadful round here, and just don't do customer service.

Get an email from UPS to say its been rescheduled, to a day earlier.  Ok, we shall see...

Message from seller, UPS tell them (but not me) my address isn't valid (what, the same actual correct address you've eventually managed to deliver late to, a couple of times before?)

I use the UPS tracking notice from the rescheduling email, and it says that the address does not compute, and that they are attempting to resolve this.  Cue a succession of painful attempts to use their online AI bot thingy, which get us nowhere other than round in circles.  Next, an attempt to phone them, which results in nothing, they are closed.  In the process of following the tracking info, I take up its offer of updates on my shipments, so hopefully that'll confirm if there is or is not, a problem.  Nothing further from that.

This morning, Mrs W, who has better hearing on the phone than I do, phones them.  After talking to a crap voice recognition thingy she gets a semi-human, who says at about 3 decibels "mmmble, mmmble mmmble, mmm."  Mrs W tells said mumbler to speak up, no result, then tells it to call back as there is no point in carrying on like this, we can hear nothing.  No call back.  Mrs W calls again, gets another mumbler, but just loud enough for her to hear.  "it says here its on the van" is the only response we get.  Well if its on the van, why haven't I got an update to say so? We shall see. 

It may be we will actually get our parcel on time, but why do I feel as if I've carried it all the way from China myself?  Just provide a bloody service, acknowledge the folk getting stuff are your customers just as much as those sending it, and stop pissing me about!
 
Upon reading the rescheduling email, I notice they claim the colour brown is their copyright.  You can't copyright brown, you idiot fucknuggets!  Apart from anything else, I am the buildings manager of a railway, whose official colours are a sort of creamy gunk, and shit brown.  I think we've had that colour well before UPS started painting vans like the turds they are.

Meanwhile, both the window fitters, and the builders merchant, have successfully found my house.

If UPS don't deliver this afternoon, it'll be in the rant thread...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 09 November, 2021, 12:17:31 pm
DPD rang my doorbell and left some parcels on my doorstep. I asked him that if I'm not in,
could he leave parcels (hidden by a wall) three feet away in my porch area, so that people
walking past my front door can't see the items.


He said he hasn't been told to do so, therefore cannot. I said that once he has taken his
photograph of packages on my doorstep it should be no effort to move them three feet
away, so that they are out of sight.


He said that they (the packages) could be stolen and he would have to pay for them. I replied
that they are more likely to be stolen in they are left on my doorstep unattended in full view
people walking by.


Some people just don't have common sense, think for themselves or use initiative. ::-)


*The Royal Mail / Parcelforce always leave items out of sight in my porch area if I'm not in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 10 November, 2021, 09:32:18 am

Upon reading the rescheduling email, I notice they claim the colour brown is their copyright.  You can't copyright brown, you idiot fucknuggets!

There is something around trademarking (not copyrighting) specific colours (not any old brown, but pantone <whatever>) for specific purposes. So as a simple example you could run into problems if you run a courier company and paint your vans a similar brown to UPS, as that could be confusing to customers. They similarly trademark their traditional van shape, and never sell those when they are taken out of service, scrapping them instead. But if you run a plumbing company, no problem painting your van the same shade. Or if you run a courier company and paint your van a very light brown.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 10 November, 2021, 09:43:21 am
Oh dear, Hermes :sick:  are due to deliver a parcel today.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 10 November, 2021, 09:50:58 am
Oh dear, Hermes :sick:  are due to deliver a parcel today.

Just be thankful that it's not Yodel  :hand:  - the absolute pits around these parts
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 24 November, 2021, 08:54:29 pm
I am not really sure I should complain about this.  I have been getting messages that I had a parcel split to two ordered by me. Today is Wednesday and I was informed that one parcel arrives Friday and one arrives Saturday. Ok nothing expected yet.  Last night I was up late watching a series on youtube so I had a long lie in. Shortly afternoon I heard what might have been a door bell. I get up. Nothing posted through the door saying a parcel had been delivered. So I go about my day. Ten minutes ago I come home from my brothers house and check my e-mail. A parcel has been delivered in a secure location. Eventually I find my way to the Hermes tracking site with a picture of my next weekend parcels lying on the path beside my house. Oh I think, I did not lock the gate. My first reaction was to check the gate. It was bolted.  The courier had thrown my packages over the gate then held his phone camera above his head and taken the photograph I saw.  Fortunately nothing fragile and it was not a wet day. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 November, 2021, 11:35:15 am
Not sure whether this qualifies as shite, but if I pay extra for delivery on a specific day, viz. tomorrow then I do not expect my Stuffs to turn up twenty-four hours ahead of schedule.  Fortunately general tardiness and moral turpitude meant that I was at home rather than freezing utterly to DETH between Larrington Towers and Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 30 November, 2021, 06:16:46 pm
Ah FedEx. I suppose I should be grateful that they’re not holding my Microwave from Germany to ransom (bought through Amazon. But tracking has, until 18:01, said delivery by 18:00 and “on time”. It still says “on time”, but delivery is no “by the end of the day”, the extent of which is cunningly undefined.

Aaaand - I still haven't got it. On it's supposed journey from  Dartford to Leafy Bucks, it somehow went via Bedford (well, Ridgemont actually, but I'd no idea where that was until I looked on the map), before travelling to the safe haven of Crayford, where it has languished for the past 30 hours. Delivery is "pending".

Meanwhile the RM managed to deliver my parcel to the original address. Except I redirected it to go to the local PO. And had that change acknowledged. Shower of shite.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TheLurker on 14 December, 2021, 04:33:27 pm
A long, long time ago I worked as a delivery driver / general dogsbody for Jenners and although things did get hectic and stressy in the run-up to Christmas it was nowhere near as bad as the situation described in the linked article.  The next time you're pissed off with a delivery driver, maybe have a read at this and be bloody glad it's not your job.  Feel free to knock seven bells out of the exploitative bastards, see the last two paragraphs, that run the companies though.

https://www.newstatesman.com/the-business-interview/2021/12/danger-dehydration-and-doorbells-what-its-like-for-the-people-delivering-your-christmas-shopping

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 14 December, 2021, 06:31:04 pm
Does in get worse than this? Parcel put in recycling bin on collection-day.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-59650468 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-59650468)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: pcolbeck on 16 December, 2021, 01:55:51 pm
DPD tried to deliver a parcel to me on Tuesday. I got an email saying they were sorry they had missed me, please reschedule. I was in all day and no slip pushed through letter box.
I did for Wednesday. Same thing happens but this time there is a picture attached to the email of my house, except it isn't my house its not even my street though it is the same (very small) village. There are only four streets and about 100 houses in total FFS.
I contacted DPD on their chat and they said to use their app and add a picture or our house and reschedule again so I did for today and added the garage as a safe place.
Got an email half an hour ago saying the parcel had been delivered and let in the "porch". We don't have a porch.
There was another attached picture which showed the parcel left on the doorstep of a house that wasn't ours and that also didn't have a porch!

Luckily this being a very small village as I said I recognised the doorstep it had been left at and went round and collected it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 16 December, 2021, 02:35:46 pm
Our local idiot Facebook community group has banned requests for contact details for local Hermes delivery driver and seems to be loads of anyone recognise this door step posts

Saying that I'm glad the deliveroo driver insisted he was at the correct house Tuesday as he had some goodies one of our friends had ordered for us while we waited for PCR results
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 16 December, 2021, 07:46:09 pm
DPD and Hermes are rubbish (and that's on a good day). Royal Mail/Parcelforce and UPS are ok
(ime*).














*In my experience.





Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: salar55 on 16 December, 2021, 08:10:47 pm
What's wrong with DPD? never had any issues. Today a parcel from Kyrgyzstan, outdoor goodies delivered on time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 17 December, 2021, 09:23:31 am
Had an unexpected outcome yesterday: put a not on the door "parcels in black box, please"
Immediately past the door, black box with "parcels in here, please"

Came home, looked in the box and found the two expected items. Just waiting for the Euro Millions win now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 December, 2021, 02:29:02 pm
Received txt saying "blah DHL have your parcel, blah click here". Not expecting parcel via DHL, I ignored it. Spam.

Email came through saying the same. Looks legit, address and header correct. Tracking link opens DHL site.

Parcel from A Novo Ltd

I haven't ordered from A Novo Ltd.

The only thing this could possibly be is headphones from Google (offer with pixel 6). That would suggest that Google are using a tiny man-anna-dog second hand electronics company in the midlands to handle warehouse and despatch.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 December, 2021, 01:57:59 pm
Your driver is at stop 53 of 108
There are 11 stops between your driver and you.

Okaaaay. If you say so.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2021, 04:22:31 pm
Ah, looks like they're using the same random number technology that nPower use for billing customers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 20 December, 2021, 05:05:18 pm
Daughter had a package delivered to the house today. She was at work, so updated us with the "Stops away" number.

Knock on front door. (Ignoring the sign that says come to the side door)

I look out the window, to see the driver climbing back into a rusty white van and driving off. Sure enough the package is in full view on the steps that we don't use.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on 20 December, 2021, 05:26:58 pm
I get my stuff delivered to a locker or to work if possible, it makes it easier for the driver as well.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 20 December, 2021, 06:35:39 pm
I get my stuff delivered to a locker or to work if possible, it makes it easier for the driver as well.
I noticed that as an option for the first time today and as it was Dr Beardy (Mrs) Crimbo prezzie I decided it would be a good idea. None of the local ones were available due to them all being full!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2021, 01:33:38 pm
GN: Just discovered that our recycling 'pod' has been replaced.

BN: By catching the postie hiding a parcel (which they'd previously failed to deliver on Saturday) in it.

I asked if he'd tried the doorbell.  He claimed to have "jabbed it three times".  I gave it a press and noted the expected flashing lights and dulcet tones of Rod Hull and his menagerie of drama students.  I may attack the bell push with some contact cleaner just to be on the safe side...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Peter on 21 December, 2021, 01:40:45 pm
For more satisfaction, first attack postie.  You know it makes sense.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2021, 02:34:55 pm
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 21 December, 2021, 04:53:26 pm
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.

Indeed - three deliveries today (no postman) . . .  one knocked on the door with his fist (the regular veg box man who normally delivers silently at about 0630 each Tuesday), one knocked using the knocker which has some festive greenery and ribbon (now damaged) hanging on it - the other one just dropped a parcel and scarpered.  We have a very obvious bell push, in perfect working order . . .  my wife doesn't want to put up the "Ring the fucking bell" sign that I've made.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 December, 2021, 06:19:45 pm
Is it time for this again already?

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49865651708_5879309afa_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iYsuXE)

Basil's doorbell woe (https://flic.kr/p/2iYsuXE) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 December, 2021, 10:20:18 pm
It's real!
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ho-FEGqZ9dQOMH1e1Ltl2wXVtr5rpzollT2t9txPvjDwq6_zmPWfjx0p4dXGThhpQwN_miclyr2HxLUzfOUqFO1m_Iq1ki24q2FsXZq1XTOfA2FpGQHIR0kImgey4GCtL1EP0T08t0o=w2400)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Vernon on 26 December, 2021, 09:43:07 am
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.

Couldn't you molish a portcullis that won't retract until the doorbell is pushed or something?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 26 December, 2021, 11:50:08 am
I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 26 December, 2021, 01:01:43 pm
I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.

That's a much better idea than the current arrangement, where the cnoke sensor just causes the bell push to flash angrily for a couple of seconds.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 December, 2021, 02:27:32 pm
I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.

That's a much better idea than the current arrangement, where the cnoke sensor just causes the bell push to flash angrily for a couple of seconds.

That's Kim's next project sorted.  Should keep her busy for a hour or two ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 07 January, 2022, 05:27:47 pm
DHL were supposed to make a next day delivery on Wednesday. They didn't make it to our place before returning to depot. Same happened yesterday, and today. Parcels on the van three times. They are tools for stuff I was supposed to be doing this weekend. Depot is 25 miles away, so it'll take me a couple of hours to go there and pick it up myself, plus cost of fuel, or wait for who knows how many days for them to finally get to me. I'm not in the back of beyond.

I've been in a queue for 20 minutes trying to get through to them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 08 January, 2022, 09:22:06 am
So apparently the van broke down during the round on Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday. Last night, after 30+ minutes on the phone I was told the would be delivered today, and the tracking did update to show that.
This morning the tracking was saying delivery on Monday. I called again, getting through quite quickly this time. Apparently they were going to load them on to the van but couldn't find either of them.

So I don't even have the option of doing the drive out there.

They are escalating in their complaints process and requesting a parcel search to see if they can get it out today. I'm not holding my breath.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 January, 2022, 11:46:47 am
Drop it
Hide it
Leg it
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 19 January, 2022, 08:25:07 pm
Another not really bad. I realised I would not have enough Christmas beer to last me through the six nations so I ordered more from Beer Merchants. Beer Merchants usually take a while to pack their orders. Just now I got e-mail from DHL saying it will be delivered tomorrow. I had plans. I really should not complain of next day delivery but I will.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 20 January, 2022, 04:42:26 pm
Hermes: have lost the replacement parcel from Wiggle after losing the original last week (as well as one from Amazon). Not that they will tell me that's what's happened; they simply stop giving delivery advice. And they make it even more difficult than average (ie impossible) to contact them for an explanation. It must be done via the merchant. Wiggle are starting to get fed up with me!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 20 January, 2022, 10:03:39 pm
It's their courier choice presumably?

Feel no guilt about harassing them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 21 January, 2022, 09:45:28 am
Yes, I assume it is their choice. No, no guilt! And, to be fair, Wiggle have been very helpful. It's Hermes who need public flogging.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 21 January, 2022, 12:05:50 pm
Hermes at our home address are fine, but on the two occasions I've had stuff delivered to work and they have been the buyers chosen courier, the parcels have been left in our "reception". Thats the un-personned entrance area open to all and sundry, up the steps next to which there is a large "Goods in around the back" sign  ::-).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 21 January, 2022, 07:33:21 pm
Hermes: have lost the replacement parcel from Wiggle after losing the original last week (as well as one from Amazon). Not that they will tell me that's what's happened; they simply stop giving delivery advice. And they make it even more difficult than average (ie impossible) to contact them for an explanation. It must be done via the merchant. Wiggle are starting to get fed up with me!

Well, all is now well! The 'lost' items from 2 weeks ago have just been delivered. Turns out the driver who covers this area is off sick, but Hermes' systems are unable to communicate that to either the customer or the consignor (wtf?). The young lad who turned up with it believes that they have the replacement order too, and will look it up tomorrow. Amazon have written it off and said don't bother returning their replacement. I doubt Wiggle will say the same, but on the other hand I don't actually have two shipments from them in my hand yet. But I do have what I wanted!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 January, 2022, 08:25:26 pm
Consignor (n.): Someone pretending to be a bishop for tax purposes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 05 February, 2022, 06:57:24 pm
Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 05 February, 2022, 07:59:12 pm
Lad from Amazon delivered parcel to #3 to us and our parcel to #3. So there was a parcel swap done late at night in the rain ;)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 07 February, 2022, 07:38:47 pm
Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.

Hmm. After several circuits of the Hermes automated phone system and a couple of sonatas worth of hold music, I got to speak to a helpful guy who thinks the parcel will be delivered today.  He admitted he couldn’t work out why the delay but it was now at the correct delivery depot in Nottingham, having had a weekend break in Tyneside, and it was awaiting it’s allotted van.  Fingers crossed it arrived in one piece and no damage.  I should know by tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 February, 2022, 08:26:13 pm
Royal Mail Special Delivery failed to get a parcel posted on Friday to its destination today.  I had to refund the buyer and will be claiming the cost back from RM.

A Hermes parcel posted on Saturday morning on the cheapest 3-day service did arrive today.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 08 February, 2022, 07:48:46 am
Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.

Hmm. After several circuits of the Hermes automated phone system and a couple of sonatas worth of hold music, I got to speak to a helpful guy who thinks the parcel will be delivered today.  He admitted he couldn’t work out why the delay but it was now at the correct delivery depot in Nottingham, having had a weekend break in Tyneside, and it was awaiting it’s allotted van.  Fingers crossed it arrived in one piece and no damage.  I should know by tomorrow.

Parcel finally delivered, taking 13 days to cover 146 miles. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 08 February, 2022, 10:12:05 am
Pray for me today, please....

Deliveries due today:
Beer from Monty's brewery, via APC, who usually deliver it to next door, who are teetotal, and look askance at the beer delivery.  Under delivery notes, I entered "please deliver to the correct house this time"
LED lamps from some firm, via DHL.
Replacement light fitting from Ikea, to replace the broken one that DPD delivered to next door, allegedly by a different DPD driver.  Due any minute now.
My repaired camera that has a £2900 replacement cost, from Sony service centre, via the postie.  Our usual postie is a miserable sod, but reliable. 

We live on a very rural single track lane, there are 3 houses in the postcode.  One is half a mile away, one is next door, but 50 metres away, and us.  Only one house has a big black and white sign with the house name, out on the road.  It is ours.

Next door get a lot of deliveries, often for the daughter's business, so dad never looks at them or wonders, just accepts them.  The broken DPD one, they even emailed him to say they'd delivered it, not me!

What are the chances of them all being delivered, intact, to me?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 February, 2022, 11:46:24 am
What are the chances of them all being delivered, intact, to me?

(https://cdn.drawception.com/images/panels/2016/2-22/xPRfTN5RK5-2.png)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 08 February, 2022, 01:01:49 pm
Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 February, 2022, 02:07:46 pm
Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.
AND see to pour properly.  It's all looking up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 February, 2022, 02:56:18 pm
The compo for Special Delivery being a day late is merely the difference between 1st class and SD.  They don't even give a full refund.  Given the hassle it creates for the sender trying to explain to the recipient why they don't have their "guaranteed" parcel, that's extremely poor.

They could just say "we'll try to get it there next day, or we'll refund the price premium", as that's all they're on the hook for under contract law anyway.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 08 February, 2022, 03:05:16 pm
Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.
AND see to pour properly.  It's all looking up.

or not.  Unpacked the replacement IKEA light fitting, and that one is smashed too (their packaging is hopeless considering they charge £15 delivery)...  now trying to get hold of IKEA, and they are effectively uncontactable.  Their online chat doesn't work as its done by bots, as is their Twitter response.  I signed up to an account, just so I could track and return orders, but that doesn't work either.  Some of their website says "email us" but you can't, they have closed their email service.  I even phoned up, but couldn't hear the chap muttering on the other end. 

Got the camera, and its fine.  huge sigh of relief there...  Many thanks to Sony Central service.

Now to try to recycle another smashed glass light fitting.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 08 February, 2022, 08:32:03 pm
Tried to send a package by courier today for work, then decided to hand deliver instead as it's only about 30 miles away. Just a normal sized Peli case, about £20 for postage, £300 for insurance (it is worth rather a lot). Doesn't say much about the trust the companies have in their couriers not to nick stuff!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 08 February, 2022, 08:43:46 pm
MattH that sounds mad. I sent a pallet with TNT today and for £2500 value i chose enhanced liability it cost me £4 extra

The stupid thing is booking through TNT for deliveries is still much cheaper then via FedEx despite them being the same company

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 08 February, 2022, 08:48:42 pm
The Peli case contents were worth around £25k - but it was couriered to us by the supplier we rented it from.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 10 February, 2022, 02:51:04 pm
This seems like as good a place as any to complain about the fuckwit who rang our doorbell at 2:57 this morning, having placed a curry on the doorstep.

I should have charged a poppadom tax for explaining that $our_road is not the same as $adjacent_road, in spite of sharing the same last three letters.  I have some sympathy for the Chinese students getting it wrong, as the phonetic difference is lost on them and - crucially - they tend to get the wrong address at more civilised times of day.  Actual delivery people have no excuse, and should really double-check before delivering to a dark house after midnight.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on 10 February, 2022, 06:48:14 pm
So you got a free curry 🍛 😋
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 10 February, 2022, 09:22:28 pm
No, he came back and retrieved it after I appeared in a dressing gown wondering what day it was and clearly not expecting a curry.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cycleman on 11 February, 2022, 07:32:08 pm
Must eat quicker 😋
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 February, 2022, 08:47:38 pm
Bloody box.com and/or DPD have done it again >:(  Look, you cretins, if I tick the box on the order saying “Deliver on Tuesday” that means I want it delivered on Tuesday, when I will be in all day.  Not on Monday, when I will be not in all day.  Natch if they fail to deliver it on Monday, because I am not in all day, I probably won’t get it until fucking Thursday.  Morons.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 15 February, 2022, 12:44:50 pm

Ian's gin delivery is late.....   https://twitter.com/JGnuman197/status/1493046612050026498?s=20&t=pOvPya8vxAThmn0FtI0csQ(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLhd-vjXEAAyFZN?format=jpg&name=900x900)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 23 February, 2022, 12:32:17 pm
They're getting worse. currently have complaints in with DX, DPD and if DHL going in tomorrow ifbhe does it again

Couriers just leaving stuff outside or shut workshop doors or dumping near to good inwards but not letting anyone know.

I'll have a word with the DX driver but as he dumps and runs and isn't at a regular time I can't catch him
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: woollypigs on 23 February, 2022, 12:36:34 pm
My parcel arrived 10 minutes before the time slot said.

Which is better than the parcel I saw left outside #52, yesterday afternoon. Which this morning, I spotted outside #56.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 23 February, 2022, 08:15:02 pm
Caught the DX one today as unfortunately one of my regular suppliers has started using them. Firstly I ascertained he was our regular one as some couriers have a different driver each day. Also from his accent seems English so can assume can understand English. I have in the past had to physically walk deliery drivers round to point things out as they haven't understood due to English not being their primary language and whilst often an angry man I'm definitely not xenophobic so won't shout at people who genuinely don't understand

Then questioned why he saw fit to leave things outside

His response of i didn't know what to do was met by me with surprise and a reply which can be paraphrased as how about following the big f ing sign that says good inwards to goods inwards. I think my education here is done

DPD driver was a stand in so back to our usual reliable one

Just need to catch the DHL if they leave stuff without letting us know
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hulver on 24 February, 2022, 03:18:27 pm
I had a problem the other day with a Hermes driver who "Couldn't find our address". There was a picture attached, that looked to be the inside of his hand. After a few days of me asking them where on earth my package was I complained to the supplier, who didn't even blink and sent a replacement out by Royal Mail.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 24 February, 2022, 05:22:27 pm
Mr UPS has "lost" a chest of drawers that's en route to me . . .  that's clever
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 March, 2022, 05:54:37 pm
Effing Yodel and bigrivercorp

I'm running out of cat litter. Bit of a problem, since the cat can't be let out, and I don't have a car atm.

Order on amazon!  Find seller, estimated delivery one week. Great. Order.

A week later the estimated delivery has been altered to in a month's time.  >:(

Place another order with amazon directly rather than amazon reseller. Delivery in week.

It has been flagged as 'delivered and signed for'.

To Basildon, Essex.

HOW have they confused the Isle of Lewis, Scotland, with Basildon, Essex?

That takes real determination.

The cat will just have to cross her legs.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 09 March, 2022, 08:28:10 pm
Hermes have apparently "tried to deliver" but I wasn't in, for the second day in a row. Except this is simply not true - I was in at the times they state on both days (including the non-attempt a mere 15 minutes ago), and no attempt was made (my flat was not even buzzed). >:(

I'm wondering how many times they're going to not deliver before returning it to sender. It's not even coming from that far away - I'd have opted for collection in person if that was an option. :(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 11 March, 2022, 12:09:37 pm
I used to phone and give them hell for that kind of lie and they'd usually eventually admit they were misinformed cos they looked at the wrong bit of computer screen or some other cover-up lie. These days I suspect you can't get through by phone although I've seen people do a good line in public shouting at them on Twitter.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 11 March, 2022, 05:12:02 pm
It'll soon not be possible to moan about Hermes - a rebrand is on the way as Evri    - statement from them says:   

It is more than just a name change – it is a statement of intent of our commitment to leading the way in creating responsible delivery experiences for ‘Evri one’, ‘Evri where’.”


The possible upside is that they are reviewing conditions for their self-employed/gig-economy people with holiday and sick pay as well as a pension scheme

- perhaps they should have a spelling test too?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 11 March, 2022, 10:43:07 pm
It'll soon not be possible to moan about Hermes - a rebrand is on the way as Evri    - statement from them says:   

It is more than just a name change – it is a statement of intent of our commitment to leading the way in creating responsible delivery experiences for ‘Evri one’, ‘Evri where’.”


The possible upside is that they are reviewing conditions for their self-employed/gig-economy people with holiday and sick pay as well as a pension scheme

- perhaps they should have a spelling test too?

Oh dear [greek] god.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 12 March, 2022, 06:07:55 pm
One of my Twitter friends had her contact lenses delivered by Royal Mail.
They were left behind a plant pot in a drain.
Red card undated.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 18 March, 2022, 07:53:25 pm
This is a cracker from EVRI (as in Hermes) - a comedy of errors.

I delivered a package to the EVRI despatch locker at the local TESCO at 1040 on Monday 14 March - the pick-up courier was at the lockers at 1548 on Monday and for some strange reason didn't collect the parcel - but marked it as "unsuitable packaging"*

I only found out about the failed pick-up when I checked the tracking on Thursday - one would have thought EVRI would have told me?    I then raised query tickets with EVRI but have still yet to get any reply.

Having Googled a bit to try and find out how to speak to EVRI (I still don't know) I found that InPost is the company that manages the lockers.   Phoned them (amazingly helpful and no pressing loads of numbers crap - straight to a human) and while I was on the phone they watched the CCTV at the time the pick-up courier was there and saw that the door of the locker containing the parcel was not opened.   This is when, presumably, the "unsuitable packaging" note was made.

InPost then said to retrieve the parcel I could go to TESCO, phone InPost an they could open the locker.    My wife went to TESCO, phoned InPost and they opened the locker remotely - except that the door of the locker didn't open beyond partially - she banged the door in vending machine style and it opened for her to take out the parcel.

Parcel has now been dropped off at the local One Stop shop that is an EVRI pick up and I have a paper receipt.

..... if I hadn't checked the tracking I wonder how long the parcel would have stayed in the locker?


*this is apparently a "standard lie" from couriers failing to make collections!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 20 March, 2022, 07:54:43 am
This is a cracker from EVRI (as in Hermes) - a comedy of errors.

I delivered a package to the EVRI despatch locker at the local TESCO at 1040 on Monday 14 March - the pick-up courier was at the lockers at 1548 on Monday and for some strange reason didn't collect the parcel - but marked it as "unsuitable packaging"*

I only found out about the failed pick-up when I checked the tracking on Thursday - one would have thought EVRI would have told me?    I then raised query tickets with EVRI but have still yet to get any reply.

Having Googled a bit to try and find out how to speak to EVRI (I still don't know) I found that InPost is the company that manages the lockers.   Phoned them (amazingly helpful and no pressing loads of numbers crap - straight to a human) and while I was on the phone they watched the CCTV at the time the pick-up courier was there and saw that the door of the locker containing the parcel was not opened.   This is when, presumably, the "unsuitable packaging" note was made.

InPost then said to retrieve the parcel I could go to TESCO, phone InPost an they could open the locker.    My wife went to TESCO, phoned InPost and they opened the locker remotely - except that the door of the locker didn't open beyond partially - she banged the door in vending machine style and it opened for her to take out the parcel.

Parcel has now been dropped off at the local One Stop shop that is an EVRI pick up and I have a paper receipt.

..... if I hadn't checked the tracking I wonder how long the parcel would have stayed in the locker?


*this is apparently a "standard lie" from couriers failing to make collections!


Now a REALLY USELESS reply from EVRI:
----------------------
 
Reference: nnn deleted
Parcel ID: nnn deleted
You recently requested our assistance through the online support pages. Below is a summary of your request and our response. If this issue is not resolved to your satisfaction, you may reopen it within the next  7 days. Thank you for raising this with us.

If you have an account, you can log in and track your incident by clicking here

Response By E-mail (Adil Ravat) (19/03/2022 12.07 PM)


Hi John,
 
Thank you for getting in touch with us regarding parcel nnnnn I understand this can be quite frustrating and if I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way. The tracking shows the following:
 
14/03/2022
15:48
Not Collected - Insufficient packaging
 
If you need anything in the future, please contact your Evri Customer Service Team and we’ll be happy to help.
 
Kind regards,
Adil 2289
 
Evri Customer Services
Customer By CSS E-mail (John Gullen) (18/03/2022 09.00 AM)

================================

 So - if I hadn't spoken to InPost would my parcel still be languishing in the locker at TESCO?

I replied telling EVRI what utter pillocks they are and suggesting compensation . . . no reply yet.



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 March, 2022, 10:13:34 am
It's not Thursday 24th yet is it? Checking for a courier, who seem to think it is.

I credit their eagerness to deliver a day early but also to disappear before I could go check on them. Double marks for doing it with a 70kg package. Those guys are fast.

In other news, we're definitely here. I will credit them our doorbell is shonky but there is a big sign on the front door saying PLEASE KNOCK!

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 23 March, 2022, 10:54:54 am
Actually, it turns out it was something else, so I have to partially eat my words, same courier, different thing. Though 70kg of beer sounds like a good thing.

I'm going to update my PLEASE KNOCK sign to a bigger font. I should get a new doorbell, I suppose, it only works when it rains and usually when there's no one to ring it.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 March, 2022, 11:27:18 am
Change the spelling to “PLEZ CNOKE” too, so they’ll stand around puzzling over that rather than running away with your item still tucked under their arm.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 24 March, 2022, 07:36:06 am
So, checked my phone before bed and the courier had sent the following words your delivery is scheduled for 6.30-8.30. That's apparently in the morning. I don't want delivery before 8.30 am on account that I'm sleeping but there's not much I can do about it. I'm either awake or not.

6 am ring ring ring. 6.01 am ring ring ring. 6.02 am ring ring ring.

Hello, we plan to deliver in about 30 minutes? Can you leave it outside? No, we need a signature.

Well, I'm awake, so wtf.

Goes to say it's now 7.30 am and they've yet to turn up. Checks app, delivered successfully at 6.39 am. Signature captured. Goes and looks out front, behind the porch. There it is. So you didn't knock and left it anyway without a signature. Grumble.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: campagman on 06 April, 2022, 07:01:39 pm
I haven't been following this thread and my story is probably not unusual. DPD email 'sorry we missed you' and taken my parcel to local Homebase for collection. That's not too bad because it's not far away and I can easily call in there when on other errands. I haven't been anywhere, I stayed in waiting for there van between 11.30-12.30.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: madcow on 06 April, 2022, 08:14:10 pm
Mrs was talking to neighbours when DPD van stopped and asked for directions to Mr.G (It's a small village so not that difficult).
Neighbour says "I think you have a parcel for me as well".
"Yes, I do but as I'm  ahead of your scheduled delivery time, I can't deliver it." :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: campagman on 07 April, 2022, 08:53:17 pm
Went to collect my parcel this am and the staff in Homebase confirmed my observations were not unusual.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 08 April, 2022, 09:14:56 am
DPD yesterday, loud knocking, did not use bell which has 2 sounders and can be heard all over the house.
I go out of the back door (self-isolating for appointment), DPDroid approaches - "stop" - what? - approaching - "stop, I'm isolating" - approaches - "STOP" - stops about 4" away. Drops parcel, pic of it and my feet, FsO.

e-mail 'how did we do'. Book ring back, explain, driver will be re-educated (I didn't say where I was from or anything else, so might be some random driver or 0.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 08 April, 2022, 04:54:31 pm
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dhl-plane-crash-runaway-costa-rica-video/ (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dhl-plane-crash-runaway-costa-rica-video/)


DHL having a bad day…… :jurek:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 April, 2022, 06:37:47 am
Mrs was talking to neighbours when DPD van stopped and asked for directions to Mr.G (It's a small village so not that difficult).
Neighbour says "I think you have a parcel for me as well".
"Yes, I do but as I'm  ahead of your scheduled delivery time, I can't deliver it." :facepalm:

This isn't the actual delivery drivers fault. Their PDA won't let them scan it. Our DPD driver often has to wait in our goods inwards before he can scan. I think its partially to stop them racing between dropa
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 12 April, 2022, 09:46:56 am
Mrs was talking to neighbours when DPD van stopped and asked for directions to Mr.G (It's a small village so not that difficult).
Neighbour says "I think you have a parcel for me as well".
"Yes, I do but as I'm  ahead of your scheduled delivery time, I can't deliver it." :facepalm:

This isn't the actual delivery drivers fault. Their PDA won't let them scan it. Our DPD driver often has to wait in our goods inwards before he can scan. I think its partially to stop them racing between dropa
Audax meets parcel delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 12 April, 2022, 03:25:06 pm
Amazon driver who ignored me then turned and said oh not you again when I asked why he had thrown the parcel down in our lobby at work instead of bringing to goods inwards as I've told him repeatedly

Yes there is a BIG pile of parcels but they're for our courier to collect and a big sign on my door saying goods inwards
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 April, 2022, 11:48:20 am
O hai UPS!

Since Garmin's own tracking wossname has my item* departing Stanford le Hope at hours 05:39 this morning how is it that yours says it'll take another four days to cover those last twenty-six miles?  Especially as it did Southampton to Stanford le Hope in four fucking hours yesterday, the day before a Bank Holibob weekend?

sort it out u muppets!

kthxbai

* Emily the TwatNav v2.0
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 18 April, 2022, 06:53:42 am
Be on the lookout for Evri (a possible re-brand of Hermes).
(https://www.evri.com/_assets/images/emails/new/evri-logo-native.png)




(https://www.evri.com/_assets/images/emails/new/evri-logo-native.png)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 18 April, 2022, 08:13:44 am
Be on the lookout for Evri (a possible re-brand of Hermes).
(https://www.evri.com/_assets/images/emails/new/evri-logo-native.png)




(https://www.evri.com/_assets/images/emails/new/evri-logo-native.png)

Keep up  https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2707548#msg2707548   - I've already had two issues with the new/renamed outfit - both involving blatant lying by drivers. 

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 18 April, 2022, 09:16:02 am
Keep up  https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2707548#msg2707548 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83743.msg2707548#msg2707548)   - I've already had two issues with the new/renamed outfit - both involving blatant lying by drivers.
I am not going to read every single message posted on any topic. :hand:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 April, 2022, 09:08:53 am
Hurrah!  My arj TwatNav is now “Out for delivery” as of ten to six this morning.  From Barking.  Seventeen of your Earth miles from Stanford-le-Hopeless.  I am starting to suspect Emily v2.0 spent Easter on the razz in Amsterdam or Prague and will be in no state to navigate me anywhere when she shows up :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 April, 2022, 11:43:29 am
“Next day delivery” said Ebuyer, yesterday.

“Your parcel is at our national hub” said Yodel, at half past one this morning.

“Sorry we couldn't deliver to you today. Check back here for updates” said Yodel, just now.

Useless divvy divvos >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 20 April, 2022, 06:19:40 pm
DHL parcel has been delayed (no reason stated) will be delivered tommorow as against today. Dental appt tomorrow.  ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 April, 2022, 07:54:04 pm
Probably can’t get any diseasel for the van.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 21 April, 2022, 10:02:02 am
Opposite of most: ordered stuffs so 8 deliveries, earliest today. One arrived yesterday evening, drop-and-ring-and-run type fortunately as I was out from 10 am 'til 2 pm.
For a couple of deliveries I have to prove my age, Driver seeing 75 yo isn't good enough so bus pass it is.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 April, 2022, 10:12:53 am
Hurrah!  Mine is out for delivery with only 83 stops before arriving at Larrington Towers :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on 07 May, 2022, 08:52:08 pm
We had a delivery via Evri the other day. Correct address, correct postcode. A name neither of us recognise.
So, MrsC goes onto the Evri website to try to sort out what we are supposed to do.
It would appear that this is a set of circumstances they have not allowed for.

The parcel is still sitting on the windowsill downstairs...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 08 May, 2022, 07:49:38 am
We had a delivery via Evri the other day. Correct address, correct postcode. A name neither of us recognise.
So, MrsC goes onto the Evri website to try to sort out what we are supposed to do.
It would appear that this is a set of circumstances they have not allowed for.

The parcel is still sitting on the windowsill downstairs...

Is it one of those ebay or Amazon scam deliveries I've read about?  - not sure how it works . . .   [If it's not ticking I'd open it and see what's inside  ;D]
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 May, 2022, 11:11:22 am
DPD @21:25 last night: we delivers ur parcel on teh 16th inst.  Time TBA.

DPD @07:36 this morning: Nikita delivers ur parcel between 09:58 and 10:58 today.

Who’s up at that time on a Saturday?  Not this Unit, that’s who.  Being early can be as much of a PITA as being late, y'know.

Also, Nikita didn’t look anything like this:
(https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/LaFemmeNikita_5984.jpg)
on account of being a bloke.  He didn’t even have a gun.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 19 May, 2022, 08:14:32 pm
DHL. Again. Package posted in Australia last Thursday. Got to the UK and onto a van to be delivered on Monday morning (I paid the customs charge online on Friday) :thumbsup:

Monday, didn't get delivered for an unspecified reason (likely from previous experience to be that I'm towards the end of the courier run so they run out of time or inclination). Since then it's not left the depot. It's spent longer with my local depot than it took to get literally from the other side of the world.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 23 May, 2022, 12:05:46 am
Amazon.
Got a "Notification" one day last week, at 3:15pm. It told me that my "Parcel containing !"£$ book has been delivered".
I was at home, Sprogs was here too. Neither of us heard a door phone, a Doorbell, or a Door Knock! There was nothing in my doorway, or in the shared entrance. I checked with all my neighbours. I checked a house with the same number and postcode, a different street name, but only 50 yards away. Nothing anywhere!
Much keyboard tapping and was told to contact the seller, give them 48 hours to respond.
I did that, got an Auto-generated response, telling me they would sort it out. It's now FIVE DAYS since the claimed delivery of my "Amazon Prime" order, the "Next Day Delivery" thing.
I have not seen requested replacement, or a refund yet.
Shite is not a suitable word. At least shite can make gardens grow!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 24 May, 2022, 11:23:27 am
I ordered a few things last week.

The Evri driver turned up.  The door bell rang, I opened the door and the driver handed me a parcel for a different address.  I realised it was too small for my order and I immediately complained. He took it back  then rummaged in the back of his car and found my order.

The worst was Amazon.  I followed the tracking and it was delivered to Bristol depot and I thought it would be delivered on Thursday. It was not dispatched. On Sunday the Amazon orders were saying if it is not delivered by the end of the day on Monday I could have my money back. I noticed that the tracking information had changed.  Identical to Thursday evening but this time for Monday times.  So I wait one more day.  The parcel is delivered. 

When my Amazon 'Prime' deliveries came from Swansea next day meant next day. Since the big Amazon depot opened west of Bristol to supply Cardiff and everywhere else West Amazon Prime next day has become Amazon random number of days.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 24 May, 2022, 05:17:58 pm
Today is DPD's turn to claim no one was in when they tried to deliver, despite there being two people home at the supposed delivery time. Perhaps they didn't bother using the buzzer. ::-)
Title: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Syd on 24 May, 2022, 05:40:16 pm
Evri appear to have lost a parcel between it reaching my local depot and handover to the final delivery courier.

No status updates for 16 days now. Sender waiting for confirmation item is lost, which can take up to 30 days!

Asked eBay to step in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 24 May, 2022, 05:49:47 pm
Today is DPD's turn to claim no one was in when they tried to deliver, despite there being two people home at the supposed delivery time. Perhaps they didn't bother using the buzzer. ::-)

They must have read my post, because they turned up an hour later and managed to buzz the door. ;D
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 25 May, 2022, 12:12:28 pm
FedEx TNT are at risk of losing my companies business. Several parcels recently with no signature due to covid but no name either

Chased one yesterday as customer couldn't find and not a proper name and they have then said sorry will be delivered tomorrow.

They've yet to respond to my reply to escalate
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 01 June, 2022, 08:17:56 am
I've mentioned before but the company I work for share a name with a big lawn mower manufacturer and are fairly local to us

A few weeks ago got an email from a customs agent requesting we set up on their system, we have to do this a lot with the fun of Brexit but as had no idea who they were shipping from ignored it

Monday and Tuesday had a courier in to collect a pallet going to Ireland. We have nothing to go to Ireland. Got the customers name and a quick Google revels they are a lawn mower dealer so suspect somewhere along the line our details have been given instead of the lawn mower manufacturer

Incidentally I spent a good few years dealing with lawn mowers so have actually managed to help people who have rung us by mistake which confuses them even more
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 June, 2022, 11:23:03 am
As a result of which I just found a YouBend video of Kim Wilde appearing on stage at Download in 2016, with Lawnmower DETH :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 10 June, 2022, 04:30:56 pm
Oh FFS Fedex/TNT

Have grumbled about them not getting proper names or signatures. Sent out a parcel yesterday and on the delivery instructions put get a name do not put postroom. Highlighted this with a pen

Checked tracking. No signature and name is.........postroom

Awaiting a call back from the complaints team

Need to ring DPD Monday, I'm not imagining they're perfect but at least they get a picture
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 22 June, 2022, 08:42:47 pm
Quote
We want to make you aware that one of our delivery partners, Yodel, has experienced a cyber incident that has caused some disruption and impacted its ability to deliver to customers.

How will we know the difference?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 22 June, 2022, 09:05:27 pm
Oh FFS Fedex/TNT

Have grumbled about them not getting proper names or signatures. Sent out a parcel yesterday and on the delivery instructions put get a name do not put postroom. Highlighted this with a pen

Checked tracking. No signature and name is.........postroom

Awaiting a call back from the complaints team

Need to ring DPD Monday, I'm not imagining they're perfect but at least they get a picture

So having been assured that a proper name would be taken looked at latest delivery and it says postroom

Complained and was told very sorry was a temp not the usual driver

Which I then realised means they're either lieing or telling their staff/temps to not bother getting a name
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: alexb on 23 June, 2022, 08:52:00 am
We had a pallet delivery disappear en route to us. The company claimed it had been delivered, but couldn't produce a signature to prove it. When we asked for the vehicle details, they initially claimed that they didn't have them, despite their tracking information showing the delivery scanned onto a vehicle and included its registration plate. When we pointed out that the shipment was worth £200k and we'd have to get our legal team involved, suddenly they were able to find it and it was delivered within 3 hours. Couriers at the moment are just terrible.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 23 June, 2022, 08:34:07 pm
Our doorbell went on Tuesday afternoon and it was the student from next door asking if we had her parcel which "had been delivered sometime at the weekend". I didn't clock immediately cos stupidbrain that we had been away then, so it couldn't have been with us. I checked with Kim, remembered we'd been away and said we definitely didn't have it. Student said that the note said "with neighbour" but not WHICH neighbour. Kim said she'd sometimes seen deliveries go across the road, so the student may need to try several houses on this road...

Today our doorbell went off, parcel for next-door. When lovely student came to collect it, she said it was the one from the weekend. So I suspect she'd phoned up Shite Courier TM and asked pointed questions (after having had to bother all the street to try and find it).

Kim said the deliverybod looked a bit stupid even by the standards of such.

A hideous job for the frontline workers, all gig economy and low pay that makes earning min wage very difficult indeed. So no incentive not to be utterly awful and crap.

I really think we need to make it unlawful for delivery folk to be exploited and insist their employers pay the costs AND a living wage on top and that they are set reasonable and achievable time metrics so they're not forced to race through and rush and so on...

Sadly people resent paying for delivery...

A friend who runs an ETSY stall got whined at for her £1 delivery charge even when she explained the postage and packaging actually costs her £1.35 and she's making a loss on that.

Consumers are shit.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 27 June, 2022, 10:03:47 pm
And DHL again. Was just talking to my youngest, who asked if a present he'd sent me had arrived.
Turned out the company he bought from used DHL. Parcel collected on 17th, arrived at my local depot on the 18th. Where it has resided with the helpful "delayed" status in the tracking. I didn't know it was coming, so haven't been able to speak to DHL during their opening hours. They never, ever manage to deliver to me on time. It's not as if I'm in the middle of nowhere :-(


Edit: apparently it was scanned into the damage on the 21st, but not been scanned since and nobody has updated the report to say what the damage is. The guy on the phone thinks it has been destroyed. But they have not notified either the sender or the recipient of this. Part of me wonders who ended up taking it home, after scanning it as "damaged".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 July, 2022, 02:22:44 pm
I had thought UPS might be better than The Usual Suspects, but no.  They too employ lying liars who tell lies.

“Customer was not available when UPS attempted delivery”

Lie.  I've been in all day.  The doorbell has not rung once.

“You can change your delivery after a delivery attempt has been made. Please track again using the InfoNotice number, which can be found above the barcode on the notice you received”

Lie.  I have not received an “InfoNotice” because your lying liar lied about having tried to deliver the item in the first place.  Stop telling lies and give me my property >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 July, 2022, 04:56:11 pm
And I've just had an e-mail:

Quote
Thank you for contacting UPS.

Customer Feedback is very important to us. Please take the time to take a brief 1 minute survey on your recent UPS support experience on 04/07/2022 so that we can continue to improve the service we provide our customers. 

Simply click on the link below to access the survey:

Yes, I consent to take the Survey (https://epicefm.ups.com/se/0949B59424F73F2308DA5DCD29EA2AB50D/lang/en-GB)

Please contact UPS directly at 03457 877 877 for any questions or issues. Any replies to this email go to an unmonitored email address.

Thank you in advance for your participation.

Clicking the link gives;

"This site can’t be reached"

Not even a 404.  Useless twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 July, 2022, 11:11:20 am
And their crappy webshite keeps logging me out so I have to log back in again to get the full SP on my item.  About which there is no news anyway >:(

UPS: Useless Poxy Smegheads
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 05 July, 2022, 03:45:05 pm
I have formed the opinion that UPS seem OK for the large sender, who has an account, and does regular business, but are utterly crap for anyone actually expecting to get a delivery.  Sending something by UPS when you aren't a regular account holding user is also painful in the extreme.  Why is it that these courier forms are all totally uncontactable?  You might get a webform that upon sending, says we hope to respond within 48 hours, but no mate, I want to speak to someone right this minute,, to find out what you've done with my effing parcel, you hamster felching fucknuggets.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 05 July, 2022, 09:35:32 pm
The recipient isn’t the customer of any courier, thus there is no motivation for them to even care what we think. The customer is the sender, and in the case of most vendors, they care about cost and promises of delivery. As cost is the primary driver of the service, it’s a race to the bottom, so it’s not going to get better any time soon.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 05 July, 2022, 11:20:27 pm
ParcelFarce.

We are going to deliver today just after lunch, so if you aren’t in, you can tell us to:

1) take it away
2) put it in the bin
3) take it to the Post Office

So, I thought I wouldn’t be in and I said 3)

I was in. I was surprised to get a text to say that they had tried to deliver, and I wasn’t in, so they had left a postcard and it was going to be taken to my safe place.  Except there wasn’t a postcard, and it wasn’t clear what they thought my safe place was.

I went down to the Post Office, without the Postcard that I didn’t have. Luckily, they know me in there, so gave me the parcel…
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 July, 2022, 09:41:00 am
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52197761784_7903b3f540_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2nwxb35)
Have those useless workshy twats at UPS delivered my item yet? (https://flic.kr/p/2nwxb35) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 July, 2022, 08:29:48 am
One week on and to my utter lack of surprise not only have the useless workshy twats at UPS utterly failed even to pretend to have tried to reschedule the delivery, their web shite is now saying:

Quote from: UWTs-Я-Us
The package remains at the UPS Access Point™ location and is reaching the maximum days allowed to be held.

Now, let us suppose the item is too bulky to transport on the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle.  Will the useless workshy twats refund my £12.50 ULEZ charge?  Somehow I think not.  Or what if I am physically unable to trek down to their Access Point™ location at all?  I should set barakta on them :demon:

Follow-up strop-o-gram sent, in which I heroically refrained from referring to the useless workshy twats at UPS in general and their useless workshy twat of a driver in particular as useless workshy twats.

The item is going to be sent on to Canada, but I'll deliver it personally to Toronto rather than entrust it to the useless workshy twats of UPS.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 July, 2022, 09:45:36 am
Quote from: UWTs-Я-Us
13/07/2022
8:51   Deliver to Original Address Confirmed
We will deliver the package to the original receiver's address as the receiver requested.

You'd better...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 July, 2022, 11:59:12 pm
Quote from: UWTs-Я-Us
18/07/2022
12:41   On the Way
We received a request to change delivery. The request will be processed once the package returns to our facility.

Hello? A slof could have taken it to Barking quicker than you inept fuckbuckets!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 July, 2022, 10:38:37 am
And, without further notification of the delivery date, it's arrived! And I'd have really been out if it had been fifteen minutes earlier >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 25 July, 2022, 05:09:54 pm
Arrived home to find a parcel in the (full) recycling bin.  Good job the neighbours aren't in the habit of putting it out when we're away like they did when we lived in the People's Republic...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 16 August, 2022, 10:18:40 am
The parcel that I thought I'd missed on Saturday and had re-delivered today was a completely different parcel to the one that didn't come on Friday.  On closer inspection, Royal Mail shows it was 'delivered to safe place' at 12:43 on Friday, dispatched from Weatherby DO (which is a bit of a trek from Silly Oak), with a picture of the parcel lying at the corner of someone's lovely neat wall and gate.

Either the Royal Fail have excelled themselves, or the sender mis-addressed the parcel.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 16 August, 2022, 05:53:26 pm
Curiouser and curiouser:  I reported the above to the Mega-Global Sounds Like A River Co, and then went out to get utterly soaked on an unrelated post-office/shopping mission.

When I returned, the parcel (which bore no resemblance to the one allegedly photographed in Weatherby) was plonked on the doorstep, getting rained on.  The doorbell hadn't been rung, and consequently barakta had sat obliviously on the other side of the door watching videos.

On further inspection, the shipping label was creased in a way that largely obscured the address.  Which would explain how it had failed to be delivered, but not the Yorkshire connection.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 16 August, 2022, 09:39:35 pm
Curiouser and curiouser:  I reported the above to the Mega-Global Sounds Like A River Co, and then went out to get utterly soaked on an unrelated post-office/shopping mission.

When I returned, the parcel (which bore no resemblance to the one allegedly photographed in Weatherby) was plonked on the doorstep, getting rained on.  The doorbell hadn't been rung, and consequently barakta had sat obliviously on the other side of the door watching videos.

On further inspection, the shipping label was creased in a way that largely obscured the address.  Which would explain how it had failed to be delivered, but not the Yorkshire connection.

Seller has now contacted me to say there was/is a systemic problem with tracking numbers, given me an alternative number which the Royal Mail doesn't recognise (which makes sense, it's not their tracking number format) and they claim says it was delivered today.

Courier so shite they're pretending to be a different courier, anyone?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 18 August, 2022, 03:49:20 pm
I am always annoyed when my parcel does not arrive two minutes after the start of the delivery window. That is simply selfish impatience. My deliveries rarely go wrong but I am annoyed nether the less. My worst delivery company is Amazon Logistics.  All the other companies deliver to some time in the morning or a declared two hour window when I am unlucky.  Amazon simply say 10am to 9pm today. This completely kills my day. I feel evil because obviously I feel bad towards the innocent worker who hands me my parcel. In reality he or she (never) who hands me my stuff in the evening is probably working a second job to make ends meet. Despite this Amazon know which van my stuff is on. Working time directives are a good thing. At this moment I an annoyed for no reason. I do not need this stuff till September but I am still waiting.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 18 August, 2022, 05:27:51 pm
I am always annoyed when my parcel does not arrive two minutes after the start of the delivery window. That is simply selfish impatience. My deliveries rarely go wrong but I am annoyed nether the less. My worst delivery company is Amazon Logistics.  All the other companies deliver to some time in the morning or a declared two hour window when I am unlucky.  Amazon simply say 10am to 9pm today. This completely kills my day. I feel evil because obviously I feel bad towards the innocent worker who hands me my parcel. In reality he or she (never) who hands me my stuff in the evening is probably working a second job to make ends meet. Despite this Amazon know which van my stuff is on. Working time directives are a good thing. At this moment I an annoyed for no reason. I do not need this stuff till September but I am still waiting.

Steady on there, when "mail order" was the big thing with ads in the Sunday papers from the likes of Scotcade (and the Innovations catalogue) - it was "Delivery in 28 days"  (or possibly more for some stuff) - we're spoilt rotten nowadays .... although it does annoy me when Amazon delivers stuff the same day - surely there could be greater consolidation of transport?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 19 August, 2022, 01:00:47 pm
I guess Amazon Prime does help then, usually a 2 hour window.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ravenbait on 19 August, 2022, 01:21:01 pm
My local Evri courier has been absolutely excellent for years. Last week she was in an RTA that left her a bit bruised but badly shaken. Everyone locally knew we wouldn't get any parcels while she was recovering, but now she has decided that she can no longer work for a company that refuses to cover her while she's on leave or support her in any way, and she has quit.

I am happy she is getting out of that toxic environment, but of course now I'll never get my wiggle parcel, which is probably stuffed in a warehouse with thousands of other backlogged parcels.

(Yes, I have reported this to wiggle.)

Sam
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 August, 2022, 03:48:26 pm
Heard a courier talking to one of my neighbours this morning. The conversation went along these lines:
"I'm looking for this address, do you know where it is? Flat 4?"
"Yeah but Flat 4 and what's the house number?"
"There isn't one, it's just got Flat 4."

Sometimes it's not actually the courier who is sh!te.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Diver300 on 20 August, 2022, 09:22:26 am
This is more by way of a grumble.

I posted a tracking device in Coventry on Wednesday, first class, catching the afternoon post. By 4:30 am on Thursday it was at the delivery office on Merseyside*, around 400 metres from it's destination.

Where it stayed for around 34 hours, before being delivered at 3 pm on Friday.

As the recipient was to be taking it abroad on an early morning flight this morning (Saturday), it wasn't very reassuring to have it reside for over a day, so close to the destination.

*Via Northampton, as usual. 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 August, 2022, 10:13:34 pm
Heard a courier talking to one of my neighbours this morning. The conversation went along these lines:
"I'm looking for this address, do you know where it is? Flat 4?"
"Yeah but Flat 4 and what's the house number?"
"There isn't one, it's just got Flat 4."

Sometimes it's not actually the courier who is sh!te.

I had a fun one the other day trying to put an address into Belgium post's website.

You have to give it a Belgian from address to be able to create a shipping label. What if you don't live in Belgium? then you'll have to post it when you get home won't you. I ended up using a friends address.

I've also had postnl refuse addresses which don't conform to a set style. In Amsterdam there are a lot of addresses that take the form 22-H, 22-I, 22-II etc... Where H is the ground floor, and i and ii are the two floors above. "House number can only contain 0-9" says the website...

A friend in Spain's address has a symbol that looks like °. "only a-z and space allowed" fnnnngh

Many parcel/postage companies do not make it easy to put in correct addresses.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2022, 04:22:49 pm
Oh look!  The useless workshy twats at UPS have not only failed to deliver my new NAS during the 09:45-13:45 window but they haven’t updated the tracking page or notified me of any delays like wot they’re s'posed to.  The useless workshy twats.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 September, 2022, 09:39:52 am
It's difficult to tell when RM are on strike because they generally can't be arsed to do this road on Mondays or Fridays anyway.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 September, 2022, 10:12:05 am
Oh look!

Quote from: The useless workshy twats at UPS
The delivery date will be provided as soon as possible.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 02 September, 2022, 10:19:21 am
DPD are after my business, they stand a good chance with fedex not getting a proper signature or picture, have the issue I need pallets shipped and fedex/TNT can do that. Months ago they booked a call with me for 10AM Wednesday to discuss if they can do pallets which I regretted as been really busy this week but planned around it.....guess what......never came. Not best pleased
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 02 September, 2022, 07:44:10 pm
DPD are after my business, they stand a good chance with fedex not getting a proper signature or picture, have the issue I need pallets shipped and fedex/TNT can do that. Months ago they booked a call with me for 10AM Wednesday to discuss if they can do pallets which I regretted as been really busy this week but planned around it.....guess what......never came. Not best pleased

I wouldn't give DPD my business.

Parcel due to be delivered on Wednesday, tracking showed it was at the local depot and that I should receive a delivery slot by 2pm. Nothing. Thursday came, tracking showed it should be delivered that day - again, no delivery slot and no parcel. Today - exactly the same.

I wouldn't mind if I had some kind of explanation, but their customer service bots seem inpenetrable - I spent a frustrating time "chatting" only to receive the same (unhelpful) message over and over, telling me only that there had been a delay to my parcel (I'd never have guessed... >:(). They are similarly useless on Twitter.

That's this weekend's decorating plans scuppered, then, as parcel contained some paint I needed.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 September, 2022, 10:06:53 pm
It's difficult to tell when RM are on strike because they generally can't be arsed to do this road on Mondays or Fridays anyway.

To make up for the strike the postie bunged my to-be-signed-for delivery through the letterbox some time before hours 09:00 this morning.  Without, obv, getting a signature.  Nothing valuable in it, fortunately, except a couple of hundred quid's worth of USAnian banknotes >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 September, 2022, 09:07:34 am
Hurrah: update from UWT UPS :thumbsup: New NAS arriving Tuesday morning.  Allegedly.
Bah: Which will give me just enough time to plug it in, switch it on, swear at it and not get close to populating it before I bugger off to Battle Mountain  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 04 September, 2022, 12:57:38 pm
DPD are after my business, they stand a good chance with fedex not getting a proper signature or picture, have the issue I need pallets shipped and fedex/TNT can do that. Months ago they booked a call with me for 10AM Wednesday to discuss if they can do pallets which I regretted as been really busy this week but planned around it.....guess what......never came. Not best pleased

I wouldn't give DPD my business.

Parcel due to be delivered on Wednesday, tracking showed it was at the local depot and that I should receive a delivery slot by 2pm. Nothing. Thursday came, tracking showed it should be delivered that day - again, no delivery slot and no parcel. Today - exactly the same.

I wouldn't mind if I had some kind of explanation, but their customer service bots seem inpenetrable - I spent a frustrating time "chatting" only to receive the same (unhelpful) message over and over, telling me only that there had been a delay to my parcel (I'd never have guessed... >:(). They are similarly useless on Twitter.

That's this weekend's decorating plans scuppered, then, as parcel contained some paint I needed.

I have an update, at last: my parcel has been delayed "due to an unexpected issue in your area". ETA now tomorrow, but I'm not holding my breath. :-\
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2022, 01:27:54 pm
I'm impressed that the most recent 'proof of delivery' picture from RM was a blurry photo of the address label on the envelope. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's probably not how this process is supposed to work.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2022, 10:45:19 am
Today I are mostly waiting for the useless workshy twats of UPS to deliver my package.  Now it’s officially “out for delivery” I can see its history.  It is difficult to reconcile the original delivery estimate of 1st September with the thing not actually leaving Eindhoven until the 3rd.

Edit: Crivvens!  It's arrived!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 06 September, 2022, 11:05:47 am
Heard a courier talking to one of my neighbours this morning. The conversation went along these lines:
"I'm looking for this address, do you know where it is? Flat 4?"
"Yeah but Flat 4 and what's the house number?"
"There isn't one, it's just got Flat 4."

Sometimes it's not actually the courier who is sh!te.

It wasn't actually "Flat, 4 Whatever Road" was it.  That's a whole lot different from Flat 4.  Speaking as a person who once lived in Flat, 3 Station Road...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 03 October, 2022, 06:56:28 pm
Brown parcel disservice, useless feckers.
I paid the damned invoice on Friday so why the bollocks does your system say import duty is due?  And please explain 'The driver was not able to receive payment'.  He didn't disgrace our front path to ask for payment, had he done so I'd have proffered the payment reference instead.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 03 October, 2022, 07:22:29 pm
Honorary mention to FedEx for measuring parcels in weird leftpondian units.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: FifeingEejit on 04 October, 2022, 12:34:40 am
Evri are usually good round here
But they got my big roll order on the 24th, its now the next month and it still shows as being at the delivery depot.

Thankfully I missed the reorder delay email and I have a couple of months worth left.

Sent from my IV2201 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MattH on 04 October, 2022, 07:34:56 am
It definitely depends upon your area and local delivery depot. For me, DPD are awesome. Always deliver exactly when they say, and will leave with a neighbour or somewhere sensible.
Hermes/Evri can be a little variable on speed, but always get here without chasing and the local delivery ladies are great.
Even Yodel works for us.

DHL are a total nightmare at home, UPS seem to struggle to understand the business park I work on and regularly just give up - despite adequate signage on the approach roads and guys at the entrances to guide them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 04 October, 2022, 09:40:25 pm
Honorary mention to FedEx for measuring parcels in weird leftpondian units.

Stepping this up to non-honorary status, on the basis that the parcel was not delivered as scheduled.  It's probably stuck in a brexit black hole somewhere, but they could at least warn you of that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 04 October, 2022, 11:21:45 pm
Suddenly seems to be loads of messages on our local Next-door saying things like 'Has anyone with a white door with a catflap received a delivery they weren't expecting? '
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 05 October, 2022, 04:48:57 pm
UPS should have delivered between 13:15 - 16:15 yesterday (they didn't). This morning I received an (automated) email from them stating that the re-arranged delivery time will be today between 13:15 - 16:15. Guess what? They delivered at 09:10. ::-)  Just imagine if I had gone
out during the morning? ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2022, 05:10:03 pm
Heard a courier talking to one of my neighbours this morning. The conversation went along these lines:
"I'm looking for this address, do you know where it is? Flat 4?"
"Yeah but Flat 4 and what's the house number?"
"There isn't one, it's just got Flat 4."

Sometimes it's not actually the courier who is sh!te.

It wasn't actually "Flat, 4 Whatever Road" was it.  That's a whole lot different from Flat 4.  Speaking as a person who once lived in Flat, 3 Station Road...
Neat idea. No though. This street only has houses on one side (the downhill side) and they're all odd numbers. I would guess they planned to build on the other side but got prevented by something, except that all the streets in this area are one-sided (but some are numbered sequentially and some aren't; no wonder couriers get confused!)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2022, 05:12:26 pm
Honorary mention to FedEx for measuring parcels in weird leftpondian units.
Have they used ounces, with no indication whether it's UK or US and not enough context to tell whether it's even weight or volume? Those are my favourite...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 05 October, 2022, 07:33:49 pm
Honorary mention to FedEx for measuring parcels in weird leftpondian units.

Stepping this up to non-honorary status, on the basis that the parcel was not delivered as scheduled.  It's probably stuck in a brexit black hole somewhere, but they could at least warn you of that.

Tracking has finally updated, and the brexit black hole appears to be somewhere in the vicinity of Dartford.  No clue as to when the parcel might actually arrive, of course.

Meanwhile, Amazon successfully delivered a smaller and much less interesting parcel a day early.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2022, 05:28:56 pm
That one's still stuck in the vicinity of Dartford.

Meanwhile, the washing machine which was supposed to arrive this afternoon turned into a washer-drier and ended up being delivered to a random address in Glenrothes.  The former was my fault, for not paying sufficient attention to model numbers.  The latter was impressive.  Try again next week.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 08 October, 2022, 01:54:48 am
Van slowed, just about stopped, then sped past the house. Arrived again from the other direction as I left the house to go to El Daughteriño's parents' evening. I extend five fingers and mouth "Number 5?". Stops opposite my gate.

Driver slumps against his window, head in hand.

Stays like that. Shakes his head and looks like he's waiting for something. I shout "You looking for number five mate?"

Window lowers.

"Unnhhh."

"Are...you looking for numb..."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I am mate. Yeah."

"Well, this is nu..."

"Yes! I Know! This satnav thing! It...theres no signal! So...I can't..."

"This is number five.though! I live at number five. Have you got..."

"You get there, and it's meant to...oh. There it is. There you are...
Bloody hell. Nobody's happy with me today!"
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 08 October, 2022, 12:43:33 pm
Presumably the computer can only allow the driver to deliver the parcel once it knows it's arrived at the right address, so they were driving around trying to get a GPS fix or cellular signal or whatever it needed.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 11 October, 2022, 07:39:21 pm
And mine today is "Evri" presumably so renamed from Herpes as it accurately describes their ability to screw up Evri delivery.

The last delivery they "sort of" made, was to the grass verge outside the house next door, about 20 metres along from my front gate.  The one before that, when he eventually "delivered" it, he got caught dropping it on the ground outside our gates, and insisted that constituted delivery.

Today's well it was supposed to be last Friday, but they "rescheduled it for unspecified reasons, some hours after I'd been told it was out for delivery.  Today I got another "its out for delivery" message, then at some point during the delivery window (1600-1800) I got a message saying I wasn't in, and there is no safe place, so they couldn't deliver.  Bollocks! We were outside the front of the house dealing with 2 deliveries of logs, both cars were clearly visible in the driveway, and yes, the place is awash with "safe places" including an enclosed front porch, a bloody great barn, and a side porch.  Can you contact Evri?  No, you can chat to a bot, which tells me I wasn't in, so I told it they are a bunch of liars...  Getting hold of Amazon, the seller, wasn't that easy, as they insist the what Evri have told me is true, but I managed to find a way to chat, and a nice man has refunded my order, not what I wanted, as I wanted the item.

At least APC now deliver properly, instead of to next door.  Today, we saw him, opened the gates and he drove in, as he had 4 cases of beer for me.  I didn't order 4, only 3, but apparently one of the beers (Monty's herbal porter) had not sold well, and was on offer at a reduced price, but the lady phoned me yesterday, to say it was within 3 weeks of its best before date, so would I like another case free? Er, that'll be a yes...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 October, 2022, 12:47:29 am
That one's still stuck in the vicinity of Dartford.

They scanned it again this evening.  It's still in Dartford.



Quote
Meanwhile, the washing machine which was supposed to arrive this afternoon turned into a washer-drier and ended up being delivered to a random address in Glenrothes.  The former was my fault, for not paying sufficient attention to model numbers.  The latter was impressive.  Try again next week.

This, on the other hand, appears to have been a scam (Fife should have been a warning, really), so I'm now in negotiations with my credit card company to sort it out.

Attempts to order an extant washing machine from someone else on barakta's credit card have been thwarted by it trying to do two-factor auth to a dummy phone number that she gave them years ago so she wouldn't get voice calls from Stupid Hearing People.  I've suggested that she might want to sort that out.

Le sigh.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 21 October, 2022, 03:43:17 pm
DPD have a thing on tracking emails saying  collecting from a pickup point can save 63% CO2 emissions, I've always assumed this was due to the volume of missed deliveries but then read the small print and it says if collected by bicycle or on foot. No shit....if you use a car or van less it saves CO2 but how many people will walk/cycle to get their parcel
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: grams on 21 October, 2022, 04:06:34 pm
It being normal to live so far from a corner shop that you have to (or normally choose to) drive there is Shite Country Thread, surely?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 21 October, 2022, 04:28:12 pm
It being normal to live so far from a corner shop that you have to (or normally choose to) drive there is Shite Country Thread, surely?


Well yes, although nearest to my work is 2.2 miles and house is .8 miles. And given its encouraging walking or cycling DPD show......driving distance
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 October, 2022, 02:51:39 pm
Evri have screwed up twice this week on stuff I've sent via eBay.

1. Courier's van stolen with all parcels.  I will not be fully reimbursed.

2. Courier can't be arsed to do blocks of flats, so claims 3 attempts and returns item.  Only been in job 2 months and I suspect won't be in it much longer.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 31 October, 2022, 03:32:48 pm
DPD parcel tracker irritation.

@11:00 31/10 - Your parcel will arrive between 15:40 and 16:40

@14:00 31/10 - we will deliver your parcel 1st Nov.

@15:05 31/10 - your parcel is 30 minutes away.


On further investigation, it would appear that DPD have two parcels for me, a fact that is not made clear in their messages. Please note DPD minions, when my branes are being in use for important projects, I don’t have the spare capacity to unravel your lazy messaging. Sort it it muppets.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 31 October, 2022, 05:59:16 pm
On further investigation, it would appear that DPD have two parcels for me, a fact that is not made clear in their messages. Please note DPD minions, when my branes are being in use for important projects, I don’t have the spare capacity to unravel your lazy messaging. Sort it it muppets.

Probably written by the same people who did the hospital appointment letter system which fails to mention which department your appointment is with.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 31 October, 2022, 06:10:44 pm
I order several items from M&S a few weeks ago.

These were despatched in two consignments.

Once the first parcel had arrived, it was not possible to track the second.

The items arrived pretty promptly and in good order though.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 31 October, 2022, 06:19:08 pm
DPD, if the contact name wasn't recognised at the location you tried to deliver to, this is because the location you are at is not the address you need to deliver to.

You'd better get it right tomorrow.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 05 November, 2022, 09:15:00 am
Man from Dhl puts two boxes down on my door step.  Says papers say three boxes but only two at depot.   Dhl send message to say delivery complete.

I am waiting a couple of days to see if the last box comes through the system. Then I have to complain to the shop.
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 05 November, 2022, 01:56:54 pm
FaceFriend reports dispute with Parcel2Go.

Parcel delivered to wrong address, where they put it in bin and uploaded photo of bin at wrong address.

Supposedly 'Signed For' service...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 05 November, 2022, 02:08:56 pm
FaceFriend reports dispute with Parcel2Go.

Parcel delivered to wrong address, where they put it in bin and uploaded photo of bin at wrong address.

Supposedly 'Signed For' service...

In fairness to Parcel2Go they are just a middle-man acting as a sales-front - the actual offender could be any one the courier outfits (and we all know how bad they are to a man) - the difficulty is getting P2Go to deal with complaints as they try and stand back from the actual carrier (who, of course, is not the outfit you have the contract with)

"Signed for" seems to be pretty vague nowadays - the "non-contact" during the Covid lockdowns seems to be the norm - the photographic evidence is 100% unreliable (our DPD man says he doesn't get paid unless there's a picture)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 05 November, 2022, 02:11:23 pm
'signed for' pretty much just means 'will get a tracking number', doesn't it?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Horizon on 05 November, 2022, 03:01:29 pm
I order several items from M&S a few weeks ago.

These were despatched in two consignments.

Once the first parcel had arrived, it was not possible to track the second.

The items arrived pretty promptly and in good order though.

Similar, but in the other direction - I bought two items from Amazon, they arrived in one box. I had to return both - Amazon sent me labels and slips, I put both slips in the box they came in and one shipping label on the box. Mistake. Once scanned at Royal Maul, Amazon issue the refund (which is pretty good), at which point I realise I only have a refund for the one label item on the box. Waited a week, could see the parcel was delivered and phoned up a very helpful gentleman, who did a couple of checks and refunded me the other cost straightaway. Perhaps a diligent Amazon operative had scanned both slips, although I doubt it, it certainly didn't trigger the refund.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 05 November, 2022, 08:25:53 pm
update DHL parcel tracking now says partial delivery.  We will see on Monday if it turns up.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 November, 2022, 11:59:31 am
Royal Mail Tracked 48™, your tracking wossname sucks donkey balls.  Not one but two horble blurry grainy Captchas every time you poke “Refresh”?  Get tae fuck >:(  But update the wretched thing before you leave.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: ian on 08 November, 2022, 01:52:10 pm
Stories from the weekend.

Safe place noted in delivery instructions: in box behind porch
Note on door: please leave in box behind porch

Parcel left on front doorstep. Cardboard. In the heavy rain.

How hard can it be? It's literally two metres away. Behind the porch. I can even see the guy on porch-cam, standing in the aforementioned heavy rain, carefully reading the note on the door before dumping the obviously cardboard package on the door mat and running off.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 November, 2022, 08:42:49 am
Sets waker for stupid o'clock.  Gets up at stupid o’clock.  Checks babbage-device for progress of item estimated to be delivered today.

“Your item will be delivered tomorrow”.

Shittens!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: cygnet on 09 November, 2022, 10:56:12 pm
DPD, if the contact name wasn't recognised at the location you tried to deliver to, this is because the location you are at is not the address you need to deliver to.

You'd better get it right tomorrow.
So after the second driver also failed to find my address (and didn't even bother recording that fact) I redownloaded the "app" and verified that indeed DPD do know where I live because I've told them before.  The INFORMATION THAT DPD ALREADY HAVE repeated in a message to the driver resulted in a successful delivery, one week late, after three "attempts"

Now, how do I rate the driver that actually managed the delivery? And why no option to rate the drivers that failed ???
Is it a failure of the driver or a failure of their database?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 November, 2022, 01:10:43 am
DHL's tracking page: Expected delivery date: 24/11/2022

Also DHL's tracking page: 25th November 2022 00:56 Your parcel is at the delivery depot

Stop press!  DHL invent time machine!  Film last Tuesday!

Update: it’s out for delivery, but their tracking page needs a Mappe so you can follow its progress around sunny E17 instead of getting on with Other Stuffs :(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 29 November, 2022, 05:02:04 pm
I’ve just become aware that Hermes has changed its name to Evri. The service hasn’t improved any though. Todays delivery will be delivered between 12;30 and 14:30; todays delivery will be delivered between 16:30 and 18:30; there’s a problem, we’ll delivery tomorrow. Tossers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 29 November, 2022, 06:08:43 pm
I'm awaiting, with some apprehension, 8 deliveries from Peebay. I wanted to avoid this time of year but, as Notwork Rile has decided to close a bridge so that the buses can't come through the village, I'm a bit stuck here and so I'll be in when items do(n't) arrive.
Next door just told me that one can get through on foot (alternatives are ankle-deep in mud or over a mile alongside an ecocidal motons' route), so I could get to shops etc. for no more than a 4-mile round trip. Oh well.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 29 November, 2022, 07:53:12 pm
I’ve just become aware that Hermes has changed its name to Evri. The service hasn’t improved any though. Todays delivery will be delivered between 12;30 and 14:30; todays delivery will be delivered between 16:30 and 18:30; there’s a problem, we’ll delivery tomorrow. Tossers.

I'm also having problems with Evri.  Never failed with Hermes. Dog food always turned up promptly.  No door knocking or ringing, just put by the side door as requested.
Megan has waited over a week for her dinner and I've had to resort to amazon to tide her over.
She's not interested in the emails I keep getting about delivery problems.
I've emailed the supplier to tell them that I will be moving my business to someone who uses a reliable service.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: orienteer on 29 November, 2022, 09:43:11 pm
Hermes has always been the pits here. Recent experience suggests it's actually getting worse, with three failed promised deliveries, and finally actual delivery a few minutes after I received notification. Fortunately I was at home.

I took great delight in responding to their request to tell them how they did.

I think they misspelt their new name; it should Evil.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 30 November, 2022, 11:40:58 am
And another email received at 22:00ish stating that they were sorry they’d missed us!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2022, 12:59:25 pm
I’ve just become aware that Hermes has changed its name to Evri.

It's worse than that, they've hired some very clever people to commit all sorts of font crime.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 30 November, 2022, 01:05:44 pm
Not exactly a complaint . . .  but I ordered 5 items from the South American River Emporium and despite being on a Prime free trial I opted for a consolidated delivery, 4 days hence, that would - in their words - reduce packaging and transport journeys (save the planet etc)

So what happened? - 1 item was delivered the same day FFS, 2 came the following day in one delivery, 2 came the day after that in two separate drops.

No wonder there are so many vans hurtling round the countryside.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 30 November, 2022, 05:05:26 pm
How the hell does one change the e-mail address for an Evri account? Evrithing else can be done but the e-mail isn't in a form field.
Trouble is, anything to the address will bounce.
The messages for tracking etc. use the address from Ebay so I'll just have to hope.

With deliveries on the way, it's not a good time to cancel the account and molish a new one.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 December, 2022, 05:21:05 pm

Ordered some potatoes for home delivery. Sent via DHL.

Dispatched Tuesday last week for Delivery Wednesday.

Wednesday: We'll deliver this afternoon
Thursday: Yeah, so that never happened, but we'll be there today, promise.
Friday: Ok, so that was overly optimistic, we'll deliver today.
Saturday: Well as you spent two days waiting, you weren't in when we tried on the 3rd day. So today we're taking the parcel to a parcel shop at 1800. The parcel shop closes at 1700.
Saturday night the box of potatoes sits in a van at around 0°C.
Monday: Your package will be available to collect after 1800 on Saturday. Spoiler: it's not at the parcel shop.
Tuesday: You can collect your parcel now! also we have sent it back to the sender...

I went to parcel shop on way home from work. They didn't have it.

Now to try and get a refund...

Now I'm waiting to see if UPS can get a drill from Minnesota to Amsterdam faster than DHL failed to deliver a box of spuds from Friesland... It's been on the truck since 0737 this morning, but has not yet appeared at my flat...

PostNL and Amazon's couriers have managed to deliver today at least.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 07 December, 2022, 07:14:51 pm


https://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/evri-delivery-probe-after-sackfuls-of-parcels-dumped-278464/

Erm.. wtf?!?

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 07 December, 2022, 07:37:27 pm
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/evri-delivery-probe-after-sackfuls-of-parcels-dumped-278464/

Erm.. wtf?!?

Somebody nicked a van?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 December, 2022, 10:48:02 pm
Go a bit mad buying things from several sources for the being-refurnished-fixer.
Receive a flurry of emails confirming orders received.
Brakes arrive in a couple of days.
Get an email from Evri saying they have been entrusted with my package from Chain Reaction.
The next day I get another email from Evri saying there's a delay with my delivery.  That was last Friday. Since then not a word.

Bah.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wombat on 08 December, 2022, 10:48:22 am
https://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/evri-delivery-probe-after-sackfuls-of-parcels-dumped-278464/

Erm.. wtf?!?

Somebody nicked a van?

Our local Evri driver used to dump the stuff on grass verges within about 50m of the intended recipient, so maybe another one thought dumping it in the woods was close enough.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 December, 2022, 07:47:37 am
Evri is cracking under the strain of Xmas and people switching from RM.  I dropped off an eBay package on Monday and it hasn't been picked up yet.  That's two missed days.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 14 December, 2022, 08:03:16 am
Evri is cracking under the strain of Xmas and people switching from RM.  I dropped off an eBay package on Monday and it hasn't been picked up yet.  That's two missed days.

My last eBay via Evri parcel (I was the buyer, not seller) took a whopping 10 days to leave the sender's local depot - I was convinced it would never be seen again, but lo and behold, it eventually got moving and was delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 December, 2022, 06:09:03 pm
I ordered a new thermostat for our fridge, which currently has a broken thermostat, from the one seller I could find who had the right one in stock and didn't want to use Royal Mail.  Apparently it's been dispatched by Yodel.  I didn't realise that Yodel were still a thing, didn't they re-brand to Herpes?

Anyway, I expect our fridge temperature will be regulated in an internet-of-shit stylee for quite a while.  Unless I want to go and salvage a thermostat from one of the fly-tipped ones.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 December, 2022, 06:15:34 pm
Herpes rebranded to Evri.  But they’re still sh!te.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Syd on 14 December, 2022, 08:48:01 pm
Evri stated a parcel was out for delivery on Sunday 11th and expected to arrive between 17:00: and 18:00. So sign.

Message at 5:45 on Monday said “We're sorry we're not able to deliver your parcel today, but we will deliver it on the next working day.”

Two days later still no sign and no update.

Utter shite company.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Paul on 15 December, 2022, 05:43:38 pm
In a thread that I haven't read, but which is 35 pages long, I suspect DPD will have been mentioned already?

I've had the bad luck to have ordered two things recently from different vendors who used DPD. Both times DPD gave me a specific 1 hour slot on the day of delivery, and then sent me a message in that slot saying "sorry we missed you". Each time I was in and waiting and I definitely did not miss their call, and no card was left, so I assume the sentence stops a word short and should actually say "Sorry we missed you out"

This week's parcel was subsequently "delivered" to a shop 9 miles away.
 >:(

The vendor has refunded the postage costs at least.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 19 December, 2022, 05:48:30 pm
DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door. 



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 19 December, 2022, 06:25:19 pm
DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

His employer will have instructed him to make sure he hands it over the named recipient. Hardly his fault. And he’ll have a “‘no delivery” strike against his KPI’s now.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 19 December, 2022, 08:54:26 pm
DPD are from my experience of lots of couriers amoung the best as they get a decent photo of where it is delivered to and normally get a proper name

However at the moment they are struggling. My usually chipper driver is massively stressed. A few weeks back at the end of our timed slot we got a awful photo and no name. About 2 hours late it was delivered and blatantly they had run out of time and had to log it as delivered while it was still on the van
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 20 December, 2022, 12:28:44 am
DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

His employer will have instructed him to make sure he hands it over the named recipient. Hardly his fault. And he’ll have a “‘no delivery” strike against his KPI’s now.

At a guess the driver will have to enter a name on their handheld as proof of delivery. They're unlikely to care whether the name they enter is De Sisti or Flobbalob - after all, Flobbalob might be De Sisti's flatmate, and has certainly answered his front door - but refusing to give them any name at all seems to me a bit of a nose/face/sharp implement interaction.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 20 December, 2022, 06:11:07 pm
I've used my first name and that seems to be OK. Saves me having to remember then spell my surname.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 December, 2022, 07:04:21 pm
An honourable mention for APC, who have mislaid our Christmas lunch, last seen at 21:38 last night in Birmingham, en route to Bucks from North Wakes. Thankfully the supplier has more of the same left, and will be despatching that tomorrow.

Aaaand APC finally delivered the original parcel a mere 24 hours late. I should chase the sender for a refund of the extra “before 12” charge I paid, but I’m guessing as an organic farm they’re not rolling in dosh, so I shan’t. And I did call them to cancel the replacement shipment, although the did say they may already have despatched the replacements

ETA: The saga continues. Late last night I had a text and email from APC to say they'd be delivering my parcel (the replacements) today before 12.  I've just checked the tracking - and absolutely none is available. This might be just an auto-generated message and the actual parcel might indeed have been retrieved by the senders before collection. Time will tell!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Flite on 20 December, 2022, 08:41:09 pm
Our local fb page has this posting from our Evri drivers - honestly they do try to do a good job:

Quote
Can all you lovely customers of EVRI have any returns collected before Friday 23rd as we can NOT collect them on Saturday 24th as we are not insured to store them over the Christmas time off. HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL FROM US DELIVERING IN THE DALES 🎁🧑🏻‍🎄🎅🏻⛄️🎄
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 20 December, 2022, 08:43:56 pm
DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

His employer will have instructed him to make sure he hands it over the named recipient. Hardly his fault. And he’ll have a “‘no delivery” strike against his KPI’s now.

At a guess the driver will have to enter a name on their handheld as proof of delivery. They're unlikely to care whether the name they enter is De Sisti or Flobbalob - after all, Flobbalob might be De Sisti's flatmate, and has certainly answered his front door - but refusing to give them any name at all seems to me a bit of a nose/face/sharp implement interaction.
Parcel now received without me having to give a name.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 20 December, 2022, 08:51:56 pm
DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

Why would you do that?
Why do you think it is reasonable for a delivery driver to hand over a parcel to a random person who refuses to give a name?
How would you feel if your parcel had been handed over to a randomer with no attempt at identification?
It is entirely reasonable for a delivery driver to ask who he has handed the package to.

A minimum wage delivery driver does not need that kind of un-necessary shit.
Consider your actions, and think how you might be a better person next time.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 20 December, 2022, 09:41:40 pm
Agree.  It's a shit job. Less shit customers would be better.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 21 December, 2022, 10:22:54 pm
Parcel now received without me having to give a name.

I suspect that if you check any online proof of delivery, you'll find that whatever surname is on the parcel has been entered as proof that it's been delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 21 December, 2022, 10:52:54 pm

DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

Why would you do that?
Why do you think it is reasonable for a delivery driver to hand over a parcel to a random person who refuses to give a name?
How would you feel if your parcel had been handed over to a randomer with no attempt at identification?
It is entirely reasonable for a delivery driver to ask who he has handed the package to.

A minimum wage delivery driver does not need that kind of un-necessary shit.
Consider your actions, and think how you might be a better person next time.

Your may not be aware but other parcel delivery companies will hand over packages without
asking for a name. Parcelforce never ask for a name before they deliver a parcel to an address
(well, not mine anyway). Royal Mail never ask for a name before they put a letter through
a letterbox. By refusing to give a name to someone who is shouty towards me in not giving
someone shit. Good on you if you may like someone acting like that to you.



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: jsabine on 21 December, 2022, 11:22:24 pm
Meh.

If you'd given him your a name you'd have had your parcel on Monday.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 22 December, 2022, 09:40:48 am
Meh.

If you'd given him your a name you'd have had your parcel on Monday.

^This.  Different companies, different rules. The drivers have to follow the rules.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 22 December, 2022, 11:53:29 am
Seems perfectly reasonable to ask for a name, even if on the face of it pointless* . . . .  what makes me laugh is when they want proof of age for an item - I'm 75 for God's sake and, although some would disagree, do look over 21  ;D ;D

Back to the original post on this matter, it did seem rather rude.

By chance a couple of days ago a delivery person came to the door with a parcel for our neighbour - and said Mr xxx - No - oops, sorry wrong house said the driver.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2023, 09:16:52 pm
When I left the house at 14:17 this afternoon, there was a large grey Mega-Global Sounds-Like-a-River Corporation van parked in the BMW X5 reserved parking space[1] outside.  This drove off in the time it took me to lock the door and put my gloves on.

In what I'm sure is not a coincidence, the Mega-Global Sounds-Like-a-River Corporation's parcel tracking claim that a parcel that was originally due for delivery tomorrow was 'handed to resident' at 2:19pm.

Narrator voice: It was not handed to the resident.


[1] Denoted by the yellow stripes on the tarmac.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on 09 January, 2023, 09:31:09 pm

DPD. Parcel has my name and address on it but delivery driver refuses to hand it over until I give
him my name. He gets increasingly shouty when I ask him to hand it over to me because it has my
name and address on it. He aggressively asks one more time for my name, at which point I close
the front door.

Why would you do that?
Why do you think it is reasonable for a delivery driver to hand over a parcel to a random person who refuses to give a name?
How would you feel if your parcel had been handed over to a randomer with no attempt at identification?
It is entirely reasonable for a delivery driver to ask who he has handed the package to.

A minimum wage delivery driver does not need that kind of un-necessary shit.
Consider your actions, and think how you might be a better person next time.

Your may not be aware but other parcel delivery companies will hand over packages without
asking for a name. Parcelforce never ask for a name before they deliver a parcel to an address
(well, not mine anyway). Royal Mail never ask for a name before they put a letter through
a letterbox. By refusing to give a name to someone who is shouty towards me in not giving
someone shit. Good on you if you may like someone acting like that to you.

Technically Royal Mail deliver letters to addresses not individuals.. Unless it is a signed for / special delivery letter, then they need to confirm name for signature. 

Imagine this scenario.  Courier arrives at your door, with a parcel which a previous resident of your abode had mistakenly ordered using their old address on their paypal account.

Courier knocks your door and asks for your name.  "Can I have your name please for proof of delivery".

Resident replies "certainly It's Mr Di Sisti". 

"Oh", says the courier, "the name on the parcel is for a Mr Humperdink". 

"Oh" replies the resident "Mr Humperdink no longer lives here.  Can I refuse that parcel?"

"Certainly" replies the Courier, "I'll mark that parcel as refused and get it returned to sender".

At the end of they day couriers are just trying to do their jobs, so why make life difficult for them?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 January, 2023, 10:49:01 pm
Ordered paste and insulation panels from Cover Your Wall before xmas. Paste is delivered by APC on the 22nd (package 1 of 2) but not the panels. Leave it a day to see if the 2nd package turns up but it doesn't. Tracking link on the email doesn't work. Emailed CYW but it disappears into the xmas black hole. Phoned them last Friday and their tracking link says delivery was attempted on the day the 1st package came. 'I'll phone APC to chase it but they're not answering the phone very well at the moment so bear with us'.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 14 January, 2023, 05:13:52 pm
My 2nd biggest supplier who we get around 20 parcels a week has gone over to DX. DX are crap, I think probably cheap but DPD for us are great, get a proper name and a photo and you get  usually accurate delivery slot. DX dump stuff outside or in workshop and make up names. Have contacted the suppler and said what are you doing DX are crap
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 15 January, 2023, 08:23:38 pm
My 2nd biggest supplier who we get around 20 parcels a week has gone over to DX. DX are crap, I think probably cheap but DPD for us are great, get a proper name and a photo and you get  usually accurate delivery slot. DX dump stuff outside or in workshop and make up names. Have contacted the suppler and said what are you doing DX are crap

DX started out as a service for (and I believe owned by solicitors) to transfer documents between offices as a better/cheaper option than RM - the internet and the acceptance of electronic signatures saw that business disappear, hence the parcels thrust.  Agree they are crap, they weren't much better at the original business.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jurek on 18 January, 2023, 06:07:29 pm
We don't appear to have a 'Good Courier' thread so, in the face of adversity, I'm going to put this in here.

I ordered a pair of gloves yesterday.
They were collected by DHL from Assos in Lugano at 16:35 yesterday.
DHL attempted a delivery at my place in Londres Sud at 13:00 today.
I'm reasonably impressed with that.
Unable to deliver as there was nobody home.  ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 18 January, 2023, 06:28:08 pm
And yesterday checked tracking on a parcel. Signed for Monday by goods inwards. Bollocks was it due to it being cold and windy our doors locked or blows open so couriers need to ring the bell

Eventually got through on DX chat and was told the parcel had been received at depot open and empty so not sent out. They couldn't explain why it was showing delivered or why they never get names
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 January, 2023, 08:54:35 pm
I have ordered something which is to be delivered by Royal Mail. It has a tracking number. When I click on said number for more info, I'm told

Quote
An update will only be provided when we attempt to deliver your item

which is not terribly helpful.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 23 January, 2023, 09:11:55 pm
We don't appear to have a 'Good Courier' thread so, in the face of adversity, I'm going to put this in here.

I ordered a pair of gloves yesterday.
They were collected by DHL from Assos in Lugano at 16:35 yesterday.
DHL attempted a delivery at my place in Londres Sud at 13:00 today.
I'm reasonably impressed with that.
Unable to deliver as there was nobody home.  ::-)

Amazon usually deliver to me in 24 hours, without extra payment for Express Delivery.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 January, 2023, 11:52:21 pm
I see Evri are following the trend for anbaric vans so they can at least lose your Stuffs in an environmentally-friendly way :demon:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 24 January, 2023, 08:34:01 am
Christmas this year was smashing and as a result Mrs JellyLegs was scouring that well known market place of all delights on the hunt for replacement crystal fizz flutes of matching design to the two remaining ones in our cupboard.  A set of 5 was located, purchased and dispatched by Evri on 3rd Jan.  No sign by 13th so seller chased.  Evri unable to locate, declared lost on 20th and seller refunded.  Yesterday, well you know what happens.  Now working out how to repay the seller and claim money back to cover the singular matching glass we had managed to purchase over the weekend and now don’t need.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Paul on 24 January, 2023, 11:14:08 am
A friend tells me that my 58th birthday next week is marked by the delivery of poo sticks. Does this mean that I'm going to need a shite courier?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 January, 2023, 01:43:03 pm
A friend tells me that my 58th birthday next week is marked by the delivery of poo sticks. Does this mean that I'm going to need a shite courier?
;D ;D ;D

Royal Mail will do the job.

They usually send a letter warning you of the NHS Birthday Card, in advance.

Birthday cards can be late.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 24 January, 2023, 02:15:03 pm
A friend tells me that my 58th birthday next week is marked by the delivery of poo sticks. Does this mean that I'm going to need a shite courier?

I had a letter yesterday telling me mine will be arriving soonly. I think this will be my 5th vintage.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 January, 2023, 02:51:45 pm
That's early!
Isn't your birthday towards the end of June?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 24 January, 2023, 03:00:37 pm
Some DPD delivery drivers ask for a name before handing over a parcel (damhikt), but yet, the
one who delivered a parcel to my next-door neighbour whilst I was getting stuff out of my car just
left it at the front door and took a picture of the door ajar when she answered.

A few minutes earlier, a guy delivering an Amazon parcel just left it at her front door and then
tapped out something on his phone before moving on.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 24 January, 2023, 06:34:52 pm
90% plus of the deliveries we get don’t ask for names. If they do, we give them. <shrugs>
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 24 January, 2023, 06:43:01 pm
That's early!
Isn't your birthday towards the end of June?

Yes, but then I'll be an odd number again by then. I think it's more likely to be late.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 24 January, 2023, 08:44:54 pm
That's early!
Isn't your birthday towards the end of June?

Yes, but then I'll be an odd number again by then. I think it's more likely to be late.

I think that's right. I was losing track. I know your age is me+4 but forgot I have an odd birthday this year.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 24 January, 2023, 08:49:33 pm
90% plus of the deliveries we get don’t ask for names. If they do, we give them. <shrugs>

90% of our deliveries just get left in the side door porch. No knocking or ringing involved.  Which is exactly  how we like it.

Previous occupant of our house was a very old and infirm woman.  Took us some time to train deliverers not to just let themselves in.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 03 February, 2023, 07:00:54 pm
Royal Mail.
Due to a misunderstanding, D had to produce an orchestral score and make sure the conductor had a bound hard copy for a rehearsal on Saturday 4 February. (A .pdf was OK for the other players.)
D worked his **** off to print, bind, pack and post this score, taking it to a local Post Office at around 5pm on Monday 30 January.

This was sent Tracked at some expense and placed in a sack.
D tracked it on Tuesday. 'Received.' 'We'll let you know when we attempt delivery'
Wednesday: 'Received.' 'We'll let you know when we attempt delivery.'
Thursday: 'Received.' 'We'll let you know when we attempt delivery.'

By last night we were rather worried.
D HATES phoning people.

D's a Astrofest all day today, staffing the BAA stall.

Asked him if there was any update on the score's progress. Apparently it was shoved under conductor's doormat on Tuesday.

Tracking just didn't happen.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 03 February, 2023, 10:55:59 pm


A common problem I come across is applying assumptions that (generally) work for UK addresses, to addresses outside the UK.

For example the UK address "123 London Road" would in the Dutch format become "London road 123".

What this notation means is that you can truncate the address quite a lot without losing much information. "123 London ro" still contains enough information for a halfway competent delivery company to deliver it. Esp if there's a postcode. But the same level of truncation on a Dutch format address it becomes "London Road 1". Which at best puts the package 100 addresses up the street.  Alas when you get to "123 London R" by Dutch format were at "London road". And no idea which house to deliver to..

2 weeks ago I order a sleeping bag from alpkit. Only to realise in horror that they've truncated the address line to effective "London road" completely removing the house number. DPD got it to the depo 10km up the road. Decided it was too hard. And returned it to alpkit.

Alpkit to their credit have sent me a new bag. Internationally... With royal mail... We await it's arrival...

Similarly a lot of Dutch addresses are not just a number. So for example the 6th flat in the building at 134 London road would be "London road 123-6". That - is important. A lot of systems don't like hyphens in addresses so it might show as "London road 123 6" the space is important. And often missing. As such a lot of us will use Roman numerals for the flat number. So 123-VI. Cos then if the space or hyphen disappears, then 123VI is mostly identifiable.

I ordered some bike parts from Canada. Canada post says "house number can only be number. That V has to go, and we'll make the I into a 1, oh and no spaces or hyphens" so my package gets sent (at least in all the tracking) to 1231. Fortunately the label as printed by the company I ordered from had the correct number on it. So it did get to my mail box eventually.

But it was slightly worrying.

This post is brought to you by the falsehoods programmers believe about addresses...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2023, 10:09:29 pm
UPS's tracking system needs to make up its mind.  It's spent all day SMSing me about the parcel that would be delivered today, with a link to a tracking page that says it should be delivered on Monday.

I've just had an SMS conceding that it will, in fact, be delivered on Monday.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 05 February, 2023, 08:22:17 am
Not exactly a complaint but . . . .  we seem to have quite a few Amazon deliveries (both purchases from there and as delivery service from others)

Looking at the tracking it seems that almost everything goes to the mega, mega new-ish warehouse at Redditch . . . . is then taken to the older and not quite as mega warehouse at Banbury for delivery (it's usually between 90 and 120 minutes between them on the tracking times) - seems rather odd that as Stratford-upon-Avon is nearer to Redditch than Banbury that the transfer is made? 

Presumably it's to do with the "last mile" network . . .  but even that's odd as Redditch is far more accessible to SuA than Banbury.

Not that it usually matters one jot but deliveries are usuall ahead of date given when ordering (free option, no Prime) . . .  order yesterday listed for Tuesday, then Monday and now going to be delivered today (Sunday) - Tuesday would have been fine!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: L CC on 05 February, 2023, 12:52:27 pm
Some DPD delivery drivers ask for a name before handing over a parcel (damhikt), but yet, the
one who delivered a parcel to my next-door neighbour whilst I was getting stuff out of my car just
left it at the front door and took a picture of the door ajar when she answered.

A few minutes earlier, a guy delivering an Amazon parcel just left it at her front door and then
tapped out something on his phone before moving on.
It depends on the service requested by the sender.
If I'm sending stuff out (this is generally work) I want a name from the recipient, at least partly because of the number of times we've 'not received' something from a supplier, and on chasing, discover that it was signed for by "Dan Brown" and then the warehouse admit that o yeah, that's that box in Dan's office, wondered what that was.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 16 February, 2023, 04:33:08 pm
Possibly not courier, may have been the seller but wife's uncle ordered a sofa, courier rings ask can't find the house. Courier can't work out what is being described. After a while it came to light courier was in Manchester. The first letter of the postcode had been missed off putting it in Manchester rather then near Chelmsford
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 February, 2023, 11:39:11 pm


Latest in the alpkit bag. Royal mail handed the package to post NL. Postnl scan it and promptly send me a €60+ bill for import costs. The same import costs that alpkit claim are all covered...

Fortunately alpkit have promised to reimburse me the costs. I now await postnl realising that the bills been paid and actually deliver the parcel.

For another package (from China), it seems FedEx deliver the package first then send you a bill for the import costs a few days later :(

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 06 March, 2023, 03:16:27 pm
Evri are still crap.

Email at 14:35 Were sorry we can’t deliver your package to the collection point today.

Email at 14:50 Your package is read for collection at the collection point.

The question is, do I beleive the second email and walk down to the collection point, or the first one and leave it until tomorrow  ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 08 March, 2023, 02:58:20 pm
An honourable mention for the Useless Parcel Service.  I bough what is essentially a power bank (albeit for a car dash cam) from an ostensibly British based company (but knew the product would come from Germany).  It was collected, spent 3 days at the Bendorf depot, then got returned to sender.

ETA: Apparently UPS lost the shipping docs so UK customs refused it. A second attempt is underway.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 08 March, 2023, 03:16:44 pm
Amazon.

I deliberately didn't use next day delivery. on account of

a) I don't want Prime
b) I didn't need it
c) I knew I was out this afternoon
d) Free delivery was tomorrow or Friday.

So they delivered it today. Soaking wet box on highly visible doorstep.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 08 March, 2023, 05:24:03 pm
Amazon.

I deliberately didn't use next day delivery. on account of

a) I don't want Prime
b) I didn't need it
c) I knew I was out this afternoon
d) Free delivery was tomorrow or Friday.

So they delivered it today. Soaking wet box on highly visible doorstep.

Similar experience with free delivery etc and when I was going to be here . . .  delivery today, 24 hours early - by chance my wife was back (but box was dry!) - then about 10 minutes after delivery an email apologising that "because of a delivery delay" my order will be delivered 2 days later than advised.  WTF?

The constant pressure to have Prime is really pissing me off - all sorts of sly tricks and hard-to find "no I don't want it" tick boxes . . .  and even after that it appears in the checkout panel to have to reject again.   I'm perfectly happy with Amazon free delivery that's specified as n days  (I remember the old days when Scotcade et al had standard delivery for mail order "allow up to 28 days" . .  and you sent them a cheque with your order)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 08 March, 2023, 06:08:35 pm
Mrs B wanted some books a couple of weeks ago.  I explained about being careful not to fall for the prime trick.  However, her books arrived the very next day. As did a folding litter picker I ordered on Monday.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2023, 06:15:36 pm
It's very easy to fall for the Prime trick - barakta does on an irregular basis.

But sometimes they do randomly deliver things early, presumably for the convenience of their logistics operation.  I like to think it results in fewer van miles or someone getting an extra nanosecond on their toilet break or something.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Basil on 08 March, 2023, 07:03:55 pm
Oh.
I'll check my next cc statement very carefully.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 08 March, 2023, 07:15:24 pm
It's very easy to fall for the Prime trick - barakta does on an irregular basis.

But sometimes they do randomly deliver things early, presumably for the convenience of their logistics operation.  I like to think it results in fewer van miles or someone getting an extra nanosecond on their toilet break or something.

Everything I order seems to be delivered earlier than they specify - that could be   a) exceeding customer expectation as a marketing policy, or b) the fact that I live midway between 2 very large warehouse sites (Redditch and Banbury) . . .  what is odd that most deliveries are either in stock at Redditch or arrive there from elsewhere but are then taken to Banbury for the delivery leg?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 March, 2023, 07:20:02 pm

Alas prime round these parts seems to have a habit of marking everything as delivered, then the package appearing a few days later.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 09 March, 2023, 03:43:26 pm
Amazon.
I deliberately didn't use next day delivery. on account of
a) I don't want Prime
b) I didn't need it
c) I knew I was out this afternoon
d) Free delivery was tomorrow or Friday.
So they delivered it today. Soaking wet box on highly visible doorstep.

I likewise don't want Prime and won't pay extra for next day delivery.

Amazon delivers most stuff next day whatever here in outer Londonton.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: andrewc on 14 March, 2023, 02:15:25 pm
I've just had an email from DPD saying my parcel has been delivered to the local Co-Op as I wasn't in to receive it....    I've not left the flat all day and no one has rung the bell or phoned me.  Now I'm going to have to collect a fragile parcel & carry it back to the flat  >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 15 March, 2023, 08:33:28 am
Shiply (a central clearing house for man-and-van transport of mainly large awkward stuff) - I sold some furniture to someone in London who arrnaged transport with Shiply.

Man called to say he would collect between 11:00 and 13:00 yesterday . . .  turned up at 23:58 !    (I had by that time put the package outside and retired to bed at 23:30 having waited somewhat beyond my normal bedtime)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jasmine on 20 March, 2023, 11:07:59 am
I buy all my pet supplies online. Yesterday I noticed at checkout there's a box to tick if you want to specify which courier to use. This means that if you think courier A is shit (locally or generally) you can opt for courier B or C. I think this is a step forward for online shopping.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 March, 2023, 11:12:50 am
I buy all my pet supplies online. Yesterday I noticed at checkout there's a box to tick if you want to specify which courier to use. This means that if you think courier A is shit (locally or generally) you can opt for courier B or C. I think this is a step forward for online shopping.

Zooplus used to let you choose Yodel or DPD Local, although when I ordered today I got no choice, just "we'll choose the best option for you". Somehow I doubt that.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jasmine on 20 March, 2023, 01:04:52 pm
Ah, it's Zooplus that I use too. I wonder why you have no choice but I do! Also, my choices weren't Yodel or DPD. I can't remember what they were, but one was Evri (used to be MyHermes).
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 March, 2023, 03:51:11 pm
It may depend on shipment size. I can live with whatever, it was just nice to get the fixed day from DPD Local.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 March, 2023, 08:23:26 pm
I buy all my pet supplies online. Yesterday I noticed at checkout there's a box to tick if you want to specify which courier to use. This means that if you think courier A is shit (locally or generally) you can opt for courier B or C. I think this is a step forward for online shopping.

That's quite common with a lot of continental online shops. Esp tool, bike, or outdoor shops. Usually a choice of DHL, DPD, and one of UPS or FedEx.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 01 April, 2023, 10:57:18 am
Another honourable mention for EVRI. Having failed to deliver to a business address on a Friday afternoon (not their fault, we close at 1 on a Friday - though their app could be more helpful in allowing a new day to be selected) they’re going to try again on a Saturday - between 5 and 6pm. Genius. I do hope their third and final attempt isn’t on Sunday……

ETA: We’ll they revised the delivery time, and reportedly delivered it. No idea where to as our company doesn’t have a blue panelled front door…

ETAA: But no! It’s out for delivery again today - a Sunday - to the business address. I can only hope the courier has some common sense and drops it off in the w eek sometime, rather than sending it back to Sports Direct after 3 failed delivery attempts.

Common sense from the actual delivery person prevailed, and it turned up this morning.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 26 May, 2023, 10:02:59 am
Royal Fail.  Item posted on 24hour disservice 12:30 Tuesday.  Is it here almost 3 days later?  Is it bollocks.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 26 May, 2023, 12:58:23 pm
A courier company similar in name to tough knells

Awaiting a part at work. Looks Thursday and says was delivered Wednesday but nothing to back this up and supplier can't get anything, they said had emailed courier and I tried ringing but number doesn't work

Today it arrives, I asked the driver what's going on and he laughed. Told me he was agency driver and they'd been called in as the warehouse was full. Looks like they're just.logging as delivered

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JonBuoy on 26 May, 2023, 01:14:10 pm
ParcelFarce  >:(

I received an SMS yesterday to tell me that they are sorry but there has been a delay and they cannot deliver my parcel today (ie Thursday) but will deliver it on the next working day (ie Friday).

No more messages but when I check the tracker first thing this morning it is 'in the delivery depot'.  I am a bit surprised that the delivery depot is in Stoke (50 miles away) but guess that that is how these global operations work.  Check a few hours later to find that apparently it isn't how they work as 'Your parcel has, unfortunately, been sorted to the wrong delivery depot. We will forward it to the correct delivery depot and it will be delivered as soon as possible.'

No further messages to inform me of this latest problem  >:(
No indication as to when ASAP might actually be  >:(
I really could have done with this before the BH weekend   >:(

Not impressed!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 26 May, 2023, 01:26:36 pm
A courier company similar in name to tough knells

Awaiting a part at work. Looks Thursday and says was delivered Wednesday but nothing to back this up and supplier can't get anything, they said had emailed courier and I tried ringing but number doesn't work

Today it arrives, I asked the driver what's going on and he laughed. Told me he was agency driver and they'd been called in as the warehouse was full. Looks like they're just.logging as delivered

I'm getting this a lot. Stuff gets logged as delivered. There's no sign of it, then a few days later it appears. Looks like they are doing it to meet a SLA

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 June, 2023, 08:43:53 pm


Not sure if shit couriers, or shit despatches.

I ordered some bulk laundry supplies, including a 5l bottle of ecover. 
Said bottle doesn't like being upside down.

Guess who put the bottle in a package with no indication of which way up it should be.

Guess who put the box with said bottle on my doorstep, with the bottle upside down.

On the plus side the Hallway smells nice.

Now to try and get a refund...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 June, 2023, 09:33:02 am
According to the USPS tracking page whoever handles the UK end of their international parcel service attempted a delivery at ten o'clock last night.  Frankly I find this different to believe, unless they use the same lot who delivered my suitcase at 1 am a few years ago after moron baggage handlers in Glasgow failed to put it on the London flight.

Edit: It's just occurred to me that their webby SCIENCE may well be using some heathenish USAnian time zone in which case they tried delivering it at Stupid o'clock on a Saturday morning instead.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 June, 2023, 07:00:56 pm
Oh, and Royal Snail!  There is no need to subject me to a two-part Captcha every time I refresh your poxy tracking page.  Especially when it’s one of the ones that ask you to click pictures of things you can eat but won’t accept that you can eat dogs.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on 25 June, 2023, 11:16:45 am


Not sure if shit couriers, or shit despatches.

I ordered some bulk laundry supplies, including a 5l bottle of ecover. 
Said bottle doesn't like being upside down.

Guess who put the bottle in a package with no indication of which way up it should be.

Guess who put the box with said bottle on my doorstep, with the bottle upside down.

On the plus side the Hallway smells nice.

Now to try and get a refund...

J

More like shit bottle design.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 June, 2023, 09:10:10 pm
Fortunately Royal Snail delivered one of my expected packages* half an hour after I'd got back from Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles, but the one originating from USAnia hasn’t added a single electron to its tracking page since the alleged delivery attempt on Friday night.  And the USPS webby SCIENCE assumes you’re in USAnia so its FAQs are bugger-all use.  Who's got it?  And where?  Is it with a gang of villains in a shed up at Heathrow?

* albeit that Lloyds Pharmacy used a cardboard box three times the size of the contents
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 June, 2023, 11:00:48 am
Ooooh, update!  Package from USAnia now in Customs in Coventry.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Feanor on 27 June, 2023, 11:55:00 am
And the USPS webby SCIENCE assumes you’re in USAnia so its FAQs are bugger-all use.  Who's got it?  And where?  Is it with a gang of villains in a shed up at Heathrow?

It'll be with you in no time, They'll be doing ninety when they get the word to go.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 June, 2023, 12:14:33 pm
Package from USAnia released into the tender hands of Porcel Farce.  What happens next is anyone's guess.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pingu on 28 June, 2023, 01:35:30 pm
It goes in and out of Wandsworth?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 June, 2023, 01:58:52 pm
Robdogs at Porcel Farce want £63.28 to release it from bondage >:(  I am willing to wager a small sum that this will not be refunded when said item is returned to USAnia in less than two weeks time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 July, 2023, 11:15:53 am


I have two parcels coming via postnl. One was attempted delivery on Thursday, one on Friday. I wasn't in, so they got taken to parcel shops. Yep plural. So now I have to visit two different tobacconists to pick up my parcels :(

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Beardy on 03 August, 2023, 12:35:16 pm
Which reminds me (a post in another thread that is).

Dr Beardy ordered a fancy candle or something from a posh online vendor for Ms Beardy the elder, who is feeling somewhat under the weather.

Yodel are the ‘delivery’ agent of choice for the posh online retailer, POR hereafter

The not unusual proceedings followed. It’s out for delivery, we’re sorry we missed you; a card has been left which changed later to deliver was attempted but the parcel was refused.

Dr Beardy is upset and looks at how she can contact Yodel.

I advise her to contact the POR, as her contract is with them and it’s their problem.

Then ensues an exchange of emails that suggest that this is just business as usual for the POR. They’re polite, efficient and ineffective at getting Yodel to correct their lies. They promptly respond with a full refund when the same is politely requested.

Yodel are obviously cheap enough that the POT will continue to use them until they’ve lost sufficient business to crap delivery, though I suspect that this will be masked to some extent by customers trying to resolve the issues directly with Yodel or just writing off the delivery, and subsequently deciding to use other online retailers.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on 04 August, 2023, 10:44:06 am
DHL!
New camera lens supposedly delivered to my local Service Point (a corner shop) yesterday.
Tracking shows delivered, but DHL app shows it getting delivered today.

According to DHL customer service agent on their Faceache Chat, it has been delivered, but Service Point staff didn't scan it as ready for collection.

And no, I cannot collect as I did not get sent the Pickup Code.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on 04 August, 2023, 02:41:34 pm
On the phone to the Customer Service of DHL.

Looks like Customer Service Agent has to send an email to DHL local delivery office, who will then email the DHL Service point at the local shop, (assuming that the shop keep has time to check their emails) to ask if they can rescan the parcel as ready for collection, which will then generate a Pickup Code...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: BrianI on 04 August, 2023, 08:00:20 pm
Anyhoo, rather than wait over the weekend for DHL to do their emailing back and forth, I thought I'd pop in to the service point and explain the situation and see what they could do.

Apparently the parcel had arrived a few days before it said it had ion the DHL tracking... And was about to get sent back... ???

So goodness knows what the retailer was saying when they said they shipped it out on Wednesday the 2nd for delivery on Thursday.

Main thing is the service point gave me the packet on proof of ID and my showing my messages back and forth between myself and DHL customer service Facebook.


Even more odd a Facebook message from the DHL customer service agent saying that the service point couldn't find my parcel and that I should contact the retailer...

Bizarre situation all round...



Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 17 August, 2023, 01:06:41 am
EVRI! :sick:
We delivered your item at 16-24 today. I was sat, 15ft away from the door, with my sister. No attempt was made, no bell or knock, and I queried it with their Chat-bot. here is evidence, they said, showing a photo' of a package, no details in sight, sitting on the passenger seat of a delivery van. it took me 2 days to get a response from a named person, that only after I stated that the complaint, and record of their emails to me, would be forwarded to their CEO. I was called, asked if I would give them 48 hours to contact their, self employed, courier. I agreed to this, reluctantly, on Thursday of last week. It is now Thursday of this week and I have had Zero Contact. I will print the conversation, the emails, the "Stock Photograph" at the end of this day. I'll email them all to the CEO, plus mail a hard copy also. I will enclose a SAE for the result to be sent to me, I'll also have a copy to Post online in as many places as I can think of, warning people Not to Use these Useless Twats! Anything I buy online will only be purchased from a seller that I confirm does NOT use EVRE/Hermes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 August, 2023, 01:11:22 am


I'm honestly surprised anyone still uses them. They are so shit, you'd think the reputational damage would be too great.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 17 August, 2023, 07:57:43 am
Not defending Hermes/EVRI - BUT my experience with sending stuff by them (usually dropping off at the Tesco lockers) is that, in probably 50 transactions over a couple of years, I've only had one issue and that was a bloke that lived in a cottage on a remote farm.    I wonder if it's the packages from big online suppliers that suffer as the price they pay per package is driven down to pence, and presumably reflected in the fee the last-mile delivery person gets?

On a positive note I've been using Senditnow for parcels recently - two very simple options: 1 will it go in a hatchback car or 2 will it need a van . .  no weight measure, generous size limits and collection from your door at a very low price.  It's a Parcelforce brand.   I've sent 3 or 4 items in the last month, all without issue and delivered ahead of the target time.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Duckfoot1606 on 17 August, 2023, 08:12:23 am
In the interests of balance regarding Evri, I bought an item from Wiggle on Monday night. Selected the standard delivery option which indicated delivery on 17/08. Got a text from Evri saying delivery would be yesterday 11am to 1pm, got a second text a little later indicating a delay to between 1 - 3pm, item duly delivered at 2pm.

So it feels a bit 'Ryanair' - when it works its ok, when it doesn't its a proper balls up

A
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 August, 2023, 10:58:33 am
At least when Royal Snail showed up with my latest consignment of Drugs from Lloyds they were in a sensibly-sized box rather than a sort of cardboard Portakabin.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rr on 18 August, 2023, 09:46:37 am
DPD my package from John Pye Auctions has been awaiting collection since 31st July, get your fingers out
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 August, 2023, 06:22:04 pm
DPD have lost 4 new car tyres costing £450.  Delivered to the fitters last week, apparently, but the fitters don't have them.  The "proof of delivery" photo is a real classic.

The fitters have confirmed no-one there is even allowed to wear shorts on the job.

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53153102744_4003cf9ae6_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2oYXxBW)0025_20326_211_3600_1_001_0_1 (https://flic.kr/p/2oYXxBW) by rogerzilla (https://www.flickr.com/photos/41286375@N07/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 08 September, 2023, 12:25:04 am
I clicked a button on Amazon for a new PSU for my computer.  It seemed good value, It was Amazon Marketplace and required a postage charge. It said three days.  The next day I got  a message saying ten days.  It actually took nine.  The problem was that I have been on holiday in Devon.  As soon as I had the tracking number for FedEx I could see the package travelling across Germany.  I wanted to advise them not to deliver on Wednesday, try Friday. When clicked on delivery options it said none available. I thought perhaps I could  have some options once the parcel reached the UK.  I still had no options. 

On Tuesday the parcel is delivered and signed by me.  Really.  So I looked it up and found the delivery note.  The signature area was blank.

Thursday night I arrive home. On the floor with other mail was a card saying Sorry we missed you the parcel is behind a flower pot in the front garden.  Moderately secure, could not be seen casually. Thankfully the weather gods have been very kind this week and I got my parcel in good condition.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 08 September, 2023, 12:33:40 am
Was in our Cope on Tuesday evening, two members of staff going through the parcel bin and one customer looking on.

“They said it had left the depot and is here.”
“Well it isn't here. Evri do this a lot, I’m afraid.”
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 September, 2023, 03:34:53 pm
Roger, did your tyres ever roll in?

That is pretty classy, not being able to deliver to a business.

I'm grumbly because Evri can't make up their mind. Click on 'TRACK' and the page says "Out for delivery today". Click on Details, and is says "Parcel is on it's way".

Chances are 'out for delivery' means it has been handed over to the local courier's in Inverness, and it is currently in a van about to board the ferry in Ullapool.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hubner on 09 September, 2023, 09:29:28 pm
EVRI! :sick:
We delivered your item at 16-24 today. I was sat, 15ft away from the door, with my sister. No attempt was made, no bell or knock, and I queried it with their Chat-bot. here is evidence, they said, showing a photo' of a package, no details in sight, sitting on the passenger seat of a delivery van. it took me 2 days to get a response from a named person, that only after I stated that the complaint, and record of their emails to me, would be forwarded to their CEO. I was called, asked if I would give them 48 hours to contact their, self employed, courier. I agreed to this, reluctantly, on Thursday of last week. It is now Thursday of this week and I have had Zero Contact. I will print the conversation, the emails, the "Stock Photograph" at the end of this day. I'll email them all to the CEO, plus mail a hard copy also. I will enclose a SAE for the result to be sent to me, I'll also have a copy to Post online in as many places as I can think of, warning people Not to Use these Useless Twats! Anything I buy online will only be purchased from a seller that I confirm does NOT use EVRE/Hermes.

I think you have to be the sender to make a complaint, as the receiver is not Evri's customer.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 08 October, 2023, 02:10:51 pm
DPD: You are an utter shower of twunts. My heart sank when I saw you were my phone provider's courier of choice and for good reason. As I missed your first attempt, I reluctantly paid you a tenner to deliver it this morning to avoid taking a day off. Did you deliver it, did you fuck! So now a day's leave will be wasted as you offer no other alternative to home delivery. Bastards!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: robgul on 08 October, 2023, 04:54:23 pm
DPD: You are an utter shower of twunts. My heart sank when I saw you were my phone provider's courier of choice and for good reason. As I missed your first attempt, I reluctantly paid you a tenner to deliver it this morning to avoid taking a day off. Did you deliver it, did you fuck! So now a day's leave will be wasted as you offer no other alternative to home delivery. Bastards!

Unless you're desperate just not be there and let them keep trying until they send the parcel back to the sender - but notify the sender of the situation in the meantime.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 October, 2023, 07:25:21 am
That's what happened the last time DPD let me down and it didn't really matter, but this is a work phone, so I don't have that option. No doubt the refund of my tenner won't be automatic...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 09 October, 2023, 09:34:26 am
I have a parcel delivery box in our front garden which is also used by the milkman.

Every time I arrive at my front door I check it because deliveries just "happen".  This was once again the case on Saturday at around tea time.  I am still to receive the email or text proclaiming the delivery.   I am wondering how long to leave it before sending an enquiry to the courier ...

More seriously, the worst service we have had is from Hermes / Evri.  On more than one occasion they have claimed to have delivered parcels which they have not.  One never showed but one did appear in the late evening a few days later.  It had been opened.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 16 October, 2023, 12:36:09 pm
I'm at the back of the house doing stuff. My Ring doorbell camera alerts me to a Fedex delivery
man. By the time I get to the front door he has gone, having posted a "sorry to have missed you,
we will try tomorrow" card through the letterbox.

On viewing the footage, the package in his hand is small enough to fit through my letterbox!

I still can't understand why some courier companies insist on having a picture
of a person accepting it, even when the package is small enough to fit through a letterbox.

This is clearly an inefficient delivery practice which is annoying. It's reasonable
to expect a more common-sense approach to delivering small packages that don't
require physical interaction. This is a lack of flexibility in the courier's approach,
and adds to their delivery schedule.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Snakehips on 16 October, 2023, 02:09:13 pm
When my neighbours are out our local Evri man leaves their packages on my doorstep instead of theirs in accordance with their instructions to 'leave the package with a neighbour'.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 16 October, 2023, 02:25:05 pm
I contacted their online customer services, who gave me a fedex email address and told me
to instruct them that a photograph/signature is not required and for them to post the parcel
through the letterbox. I await the response.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Giraffe on 16 October, 2023, 05:54:01 pm
Nevri, Argos is not shut on a Saturday (unless incident). I must ask about that when I collect the parcel - it could have affected a lot of deliveries.
Also, Nevri, don't e-mail me a picture of 'my' package when the background isn't on my property and, so far as I know, isn't even in the village.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: numbnuts on 16 October, 2023, 05:58:37 pm

Yodel - parcel delivered.........
Good job I'm well known in my village found 200 yards away.
 
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 October, 2023, 11:46:20 am
Royal Snail, your tracking sucks the lumpy vomit of syphilitic hyenas through those tubes used for the artificial insemination of bees.

Sorry, there was a problem, please try again

Not helpful.  Where’s my parcel, ye keech-flecked hoors and brabazons?

EDIT: oh look!  If you install Royal Snail's app the tracking thing miraculously works!  Shame it says the item should be delivered between 10:31 an…

[FX: Doorbell]

Bloody postie, spoiling my rant >:(
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 28 October, 2023, 07:33:36 pm
Partner's wine delivery is showing up as "delivered" by Yodel today. I was in at the time it was alleged to have been delivered, and it most definitely was not. No photo on the tracking, have checked the various "safe places" couriers sometimes use (electricity meter cupboards, mainly). Nothing. ???
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Richard P on 08 November, 2023, 08:21:20 pm
BIG sign on office door saying if closed please leave parcels with Newsagent three doors up, (they are also an EVRI (delivery is a f**k-up) agent).
EVRI try to deliver whilst the office is shut & take the parcel away rather than leave it with the Newsagent!
Parcel has a part for a boiler, customer is without a working boiler for another day all due to supplier not sending when they said they would & then EVRI being unable to follow simple instructions.   :(
EVRI "customer services" is a Chatbot that wants to know the colour, size & brand of the item, WHY? What does that have to do with anything?
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 10 November, 2023, 10:42:21 pm
A few small bits and bobs ordered Tuesday for next day delivery. Evri’s tracker last updated Wednesday with a “sorry, it won’t be delivered today, we will update once it’s out for delivery” message.  Not a squeak since and no sign of the package by this morning so chase supplier.  Within minutes, Evri email me to say they hope to deliver within the next 48 hours.  So that would be 5 days, not next day, only Evri don’t seem to deliver Sunday and charge extra for a Saturday delivery so I suspect that 48 hours will be more like two working days.  Parcel was ordered so I could complete a diy job during my week off, I will be back at work by Monday. Clowns!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 13 November, 2023, 07:42:51 pm
Evri. Order from Toolstation due for delivery today. Evri tracker earlier today, Package is with us, will let you know when due for delivery. Nothing happens, notification or delivery. People have been on site all day. Evri tracker. Your package is on its way back to the sender.  ??? Tried the on line conversation facility. Hi I am xxxx. Your return order is on its way back to the sender. Contact us tomorrow to escalate. No further option for dialogue.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 13 November, 2023, 08:09:27 pm
That *is* crap.
We have both Toolstation and Screwfix within half a mile so we're lucky enough to be able to Click & Collect.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 13 November, 2023, 10:00:20 pm
Evri. Order from Toolstation due for delivery today. Evri tracker earlier today, Package is with us, will let you know when due for delivery. Nothing happens, notification or delivery. People have been on site all day. Evri tracker. Your package is on its way back to the sender.  ??? Tried the on line conversation facility. Hi I am xxxx. Your return order is on its way back to the sender. Contact us tomorrow to escalate. No further option for dialogue.

Interesting.  My package was also Toolstation and exactly the same crap from Evri.  Next day is now doubtful it will even make next week!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 14 November, 2023, 02:49:57 pm
Alternatively, I had an order from Toolstation delivered by Evri exactly on time and with no hassles yesterday. I have to say I was quite surprised!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 14 November, 2023, 07:25:47 pm
Does it count as shite if your parcel arrives on time and undamaged, but the courier is coughing like Patient Zero[1]?


[1] Or possibly patient 19639801.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 15 November, 2023, 02:42:59 pm
I contacted their online customer services, who gave me a fedex email address and told me
to instruct them that a photograph/signature is not required and for them to post the parcel
through the letterbox. I await the response.
Yet another delivery driver who has a package small enough to post through my letterbox, but
instead, chose to knock on the front door with his knuckles (instead of using the door knocker
or ring the bell), but then, after waiting for few seconds puts the small package in one of my
recycling bins.

Some of these delivery drivers do not have the commonsense to post a package through a
letterbox when it can easily fit through. They seem fixated with wanting to have a selfie* with you.


*I'm joking, but you know what I mean.


** All recorded on my Ring™ doorbell camera.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 15 November, 2023, 03:26:45 pm
I buy food for our cat online from ZooPlus. They used to offer a choice of couriers (DPD Local or Yodel) but now seem to just offer the latter. Who's latest wheeze is "There doesn't need to be anyone home to accept the parcel, we'll just dump it in the pouring rain in full view of anyone who wants to nick it".
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 15 November, 2023, 10:03:11 pm
Evri have not come back to me with any information despite raising a ticket. Rang Toolstation today who were very quick to respond and explain what is going on. The parcel had been damaged. Quite why Evri could not share this simple fact defeats me. Credit received from TS and I will reorder and collect from a local outlet in due course.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JellyLegs on 15 November, 2023, 10:48:16 pm
Evri have not come back to me with any information despite raising a ticket. Rang Toolstation today who were very quick to respond and explain what is going on. The parcel had been damaged. Quite why Evri could not share this simple fact defeats me. Credit received from TS and I will reorder and collect from a local outlet in due course.

Ditto to no info fromEvri.  Ditto to contacting Toolstation.  Ditto for them being quick and helpful.  Opted for a replacement order being dispatched.  Thwarted again!  Most of the items are now out of stock for delivery.  Requested a refund.  Let’s see how that goes.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Canardly on 20 November, 2023, 08:13:53 pm
Did get a note from Evri a couple of days later, stating the parcel was returned due to being damaged after I raised a ticket with their on line autobot. The refund from TS was quick.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Polar Bear on 20 November, 2023, 08:51:09 pm
Evri.  Never disappoint in disappointing.

They don't even knock or leave a card but dump the package on the doorstep in full view and piss off.  I wish firms would listen to customers and stop using them.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: JonBuoy on 20 November, 2023, 09:06:47 pm
I had a different Evri courier yesterday - not quite as chatty as the usual one but every bit as unSh!te.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 November, 2023, 09:18:36 pm
Royal Snail announced the delivery of my small package the other day by:
1. taking a photo of it poking out of the letterbox, which could have been attached to any house in BRITAIN with a blue front door, and
c: not telling me about it.

Fortunately Charlie the Builder rescued it, but didn’t read the label so bunged it in with the von Brandenburg's post.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: grams on 25 November, 2023, 11:51:09 am
Since whenever I last missed a parcel, Royal Mail have stopped automatically sending them to the delivery office where I can collect it the next morning at my leisure (subject to silly opening times).

Instead it's automatically redelivery the next day and then F U go to our website and grovel for it, same as Hermes and the other shite.

At least they still bother to fill out the card.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Jaded on 25 November, 2023, 01:03:27 pm
Amazon Delivery incoming today. Not sure why as it is for a Photobox package.

This morning it was to be delivered between 10:15 and 2:15
Then it was 10:45 and 2:15
Now it is 12:15 and 2:15

Presumably they keep on altering it until it matches when it is going to be delivered.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: TimC on 26 November, 2023, 10:20:22 am
Evri have returned to form. Two days on the trot I've received a 'we weren't able to deliver your package' message. No warning that a package was inbound, no ETA, nothing even via Amazon. Simply, out of the blue, a 'you're not getting it'. They say 'the business was closed' but as I'm not a business and my little thatched cottage looks nothing like a business, I have no idea what that's supposed to indicate. Of course, there's even less chance of getting through to the company than there were in Hermes days - it's an AI-free chat-bot or a voice-bot or nothing, so I don't expect to get any explanation from them. The seller's English is marginal (I don't know what their native language is, or I'd have tried a translator), so I'm not getting a lot of help there either. Looks like I'm going to have to buy again from someone else (with a 'no Evri' condition) while I try and negotiate a refund.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 14 December, 2023, 05:03:26 pm
On 29th Nov I ordered an item via Big River co, reluctantly knowing it would ship from China, it's a 3 figure sum.  I got a tracking number within a couple of hours and tomorrow the delivery window, which so far has not moved, ends.  The only entry on the tracking is:
Quote
Logistics No.   

    2023-11-29 10:39:30 +08
    AT ORIGIN
    Order Created

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets please.  Is it going to be:
 - My parcel arrives tomorrow proving that a) the vendor is an honest and efficient company and b) WeWorldExpress are a highly efficient delivery company but c) don't have the first clue about tracking.  or
 - Some combination of a), b) & c) being wrong.  State your choice.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on 15 December, 2023, 07:27:00 pm
We very rarely have issues with couriers. However, DHL have blotted their copybook twice on the same order. The first time, it just didn't arrive at all. I got the tracking emails, but clicking on the number got to a 'not found' message.
The replacement was out for delivery today. We live in Lower XXX road. They have delivered it to the same number, but on XXX road. OK, this is only just round the corner but I'm not sure I want to carry the 20kg of bird seed that far. I assume it's a relief because Christmas driver, but still.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 15 December, 2023, 08:41:22 pm
Not a courier as such, but I ordered some cheese from a local company last week via their website. Got an acknowledgement but no information on delivery. Yesterday I emailed asking if they had any information re delivery. This afternoon we had a load of fliers delivered and the guy left our gate open. I went out to close it, and as I turned I saw a plastic bag containing a brown paper bag on the ground next to the front door. Yep, it was my cheeses. No call, text or email.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 15 December, 2023, 10:41:04 pm

I ordered some flux. I got an email saying it was delivered. I can't find it anywhere. Check tracking, yesterday it is listed as "worried" and now it shows as having entered my region...

What's the betting the box self destructed, and it's made a mess of the van ?

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Pingu on 15 December, 2023, 10:55:00 pm
I expect it's on the move.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 15 December, 2023, 11:03:51 pm
The printer I ordered from Printerland.co.uk on Wednesday 13th Dec and sent by Parcelforce arrived on...
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: barakta on 16 December, 2023, 01:08:03 am
Nice!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 16 December, 2023, 01:14:55 am
Nice!

Don't be too hasty, it's still a printer.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Paul on 16 December, 2023, 08:01:01 am

I ordered some flux. I got an email saying it was delivered. I can't find it anywhere. Check tracking, yesterday it is listed as "worried" and now it shows as having entered my region...

What's the betting the box self destructed, and it's made a mess of the van ?

J
If it was next to a capacitor, the van could be anywhere anywhen by now!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Hot Flatus on 16 December, 2023, 08:26:35 am
I think with all of this stuff it depends where you live.

I'm in a semi-rural location. The Evri lady is great. She knows is now, and we know her. I've known the ParcelForce guy for 20 years. Also the DPD guy is usually the same bloke.  All of them are amenable and use their common sense.

Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: De Sisti on 16 December, 2023, 08:45:30 am
Nice!

Don't be too hasty, it's still a printer.
We're talking about courier deliveries. ::-)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SoreTween on 16 December, 2023, 09:26:27 am
Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets please.  Is it going to be:
 - My parcel arrives tomorrow proving that a) the vendor is an honest and efficient company and b) WeWorldExpress are a highly efficient delivery company but c) don't have the first clue about tracking.  or
 - Some combination of a), b) & c) being wrong.  State your choice.
And the answer is a) is the incorrect statement.

Yesterday, after the delivery window ended I got three identical emails telling me my order has not actually been dispatched despite being marked so in Amazon.  The reason - they don't know which sensor to ship.  Please reply with my choice from:
Introduction to clamp-on sensors:
TS-2 type: DN15-100mm, -30-90°C
TM-1 type: DN50-700mm, -30-90°C
  TL-1 type: DN300-6000mm, -30-90°C
  HTS-2 type: DN15-100mm, -40-160°C
HTM-1 type: DN50-700mm, -40-160°C
HTL-1 type: DN300-6000mm, -40-160°C
TC-1: DN>80mm -40~160°C
TC-2: DN>80mm -40~160°C


Hmmm.  Just above this is the following text:
EARLY TUF-2000M Ultrasonic Flowing/Heat Module Flowing Meter Flowmeter Environmental Measuring Instrument DN15~DN100mm,Remarkable88
ASIN: B0BVDT711H

Which narrows it down to a choice of 2 and since HTS-2 is more expensive than TS-2 I think we already know.

Amazon is guessing delivery by the 20th, fat chance.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: SteveC on 16 December, 2023, 04:54:42 pm
We very rarely have issues with couriers. However, DHL have blotted their copybook twice on the same order. The first time, it just didn't arrive at all. I got the tracking emails, but clicking on the number got to a 'not found' message.
The replacement was out for delivery today. We live in Lower XXX road. They have delivered it to the same number, but on XXX road. OK, this is only just round the corner but I'm not sure I want to carry the 20kg of bird seed that far. I assume it's a relief because Christmas driver, but still.
The nice people at 1 XXX road delivered the parcel to us while we were out shopping this morning.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 20 December, 2023, 08:55:15 am
Text from Parcelfarce. “Your package will be delivered today between 0:00 and 0:00”.

ETA It transpires the delivery window is only between 07:00 and 18:00. Probably.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: hellymedic on 20 December, 2023, 05:38:21 pm
<Non grumble>
Parcel Force
Ordered big heavy item for partner at 13.49 yesterday.
Delivered by Parcel Force at 14.14.

Was able to track item from despatch, through Bristol and round local streets for the last 2 hours of its journey.

Looks like 'Charlie' took a LONG lunch break in Colindale and then went round the houses in Colindale & Queensbury.

Cannot fault projected delivery time of 14.00 - 15.00.

24 hours & 25 minutes from order to delivery!

Meanwhile, the 'M & S' order I placed on 14/12/2023 has been stuck in Chicago 'Awaiting customs inspection', since 16/12...
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 22 December, 2023, 02:50:18 pm
Amazon
Delivery required a pin to be given to the driver. Pin delivered by email. (Seems to be standard security for certain items from Amazon). Pin code was easy for me to remember.

Doorbell goes. I go to the door. "Thanks - the code is 246890"
"You've got to read it off your email"
"That's the code isn't it?"
"Yes but you've got to read it off your phone"
"Is that the code?"
"Yes.... But...."
I've got the package. I could do that all day, he had deliveries to make.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 December, 2023, 02:55:10 pm
I for one look forward to dragging my PC out onto the doorstep* to satisfy some jobsworth…

* Lie
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 22 December, 2023, 05:25:48 pm
If this becomes a thing I'm going to have to come up with an assortment of increasingly improbable computers to answer the door with.

/me eagerly awaits Silly Oak's first fly-tipped smart fridge
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 December, 2023, 10:15:58 pm


DHL have lost a package... Have reported it to the company sending it. Now I wait to see if DHL can find it somewhere, or if I will get a new package sent.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 03 January, 2024, 12:21:52 pm


Company I ordered from confirm DHL has lost my package. Have asked them to resend...

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: nextSibling on 04 January, 2024, 03:37:40 pm
Company I ordered from confirm DHL has lost my package.

My anecdotal experience is that, of the several delivery services I regularly deal with, DHL is the only one to just completely lose (rather than damage) packages.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 04 January, 2024, 03:49:31 pm


Either my doorbell is broken. Or postNL doesn't even bother trying it.

I've been WFH all day cos if packages. And just got an email saying they missed me and will take them to a parcel shop.

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: quixoticgeek on 05 January, 2024, 11:10:17 pm


Company I ordered from confirm DHL has lost my package. Have asked them to resend...


New package arrived Thursday.

Friday I get an email update from DHL that they are going to deliver the original package tomorrow...

*Sigh*

J
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 07 January, 2024, 01:45:32 pm
Royal Mail packages sent to son in Brazil on 4 December.  Stuck in customs since 18/12 and one deemed not suitable.  It was 3 pairs of socks and some chocolate!
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 February, 2024, 09:25:42 am
Last night Royal Snail's tracking wossname assured me that my item would be delivered between 09:22 and 13:22 today.  This morning the useless workshy twats have backtracked and now will only allow that it’s in Romford.

Edit: natch it turned up ten minutes ago without so much either as a by your leave or an update on the tracking page.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: rafletcher on 24 February, 2024, 09:35:54 am
Had a parcel delivered£ this morning, spot on the earliest time specified, which was good. I then got a text from Parcelfarce (it was a contracted out delivery, Van was un-logoed). “We’ve left your parcel in a safe place”. I heard the van stop, and the knock on the door, and managed to get to the bedroom window within 5 seconds, to see the guy stood taking a photo of it leant against said door. Which is in full view of the street about 2m from the road. Safe place my arse. And then “We’ve left a card with details of where your parcel is”. Like f**k you have.
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: grams on 24 February, 2024, 01:40:29 pm
Doorbell went and I ran downstairs sans shoes. The microsecond I open the door the driver takes a photo* and is halfway back to his van before I knew what was going on. Two big parcels for next door dumped on the pavement.

It's a shame I like the neighbours otherwise I should have just left them there.

(* multiple times I've looked at tracking after stuff has been delivered and found photos of my own lower half taken without my knowledge. How is this even vaguely legal?)
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Kim on 12 March, 2024, 11:13:31 pm
Quote from: Evri
12:23 - Tue Mar 12 Your parcel is on its way to you today

Magic 8-ball says "Very doubtful"
Title: Re: Sh!te courier thread
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 March, 2024, 09:03:45 am
O hai DHL!

Who's awake at ten to eight on a Saturday morning?  Not this Unit, that’s for sure.  I hope you didn’t wake the neighbours when leaving my item with them, coz they seem to be nice people.

Kthxbai