Author Topic: The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant. (Read 1625251 times)

Wombat · « **Reply #7050 on:** 12 November, 2015, 08:43:00 am »

Channel 4 on demand, you're crap!
Realsied I'd missed the start of teh second series of "the returned" which means I'd not have a hope in hell of working out what is going on, its hard enough to keep track anyway.

So, Lets find 4OD on the smart telly. Oh, its not there, bugger. Find it on the PC, which has a nice 24" monitor, and is connected to 70Mb broadband, and then struggle to actually find the series, rather than things about making it. Eventually I find the relevant episodes, and set to watching.

FUCKING ADVERTS! I have to sit through a load of introductory twaddle, while it exhorts me to "choose a trailer" (I don't want an effing trailer, I want to watch the bleeding episode), and then it starts off. Er, what video quality is this? I thought 640x480 went out years ago.... and then, can I skip through the poxy adverts, no, I can't. The quality is awful, full of artefacts, and fuzzy on my HD monitor. I never want to watch that quality of broadcast again, so the box wot sits under the telly will record the rest of them.

And I thought iplayer was a pain to navigate....

CAMRAMan · « **Reply #7051 on:** 14 November, 2015, 04:16:16 pm »

Waitress at restaurant: that isn't the first time you have tried to add an additional carvery meal onto our bill (or your crap system has, anyway). There were five of us and six meals were charged for. It doesn't take a mathematician, does it? Unimpressed.

Kim · « **Reply #7052 on:** 14 November, 2015, 04:18:41 pm »

The two hardest problems in computer science are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.

mcshroom · « **Reply #7053 on:** 15 November, 2015, 11:25:11 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 14 November, 2015, 04:18:41 pm

The two hardest problems in computer science are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.

T42 · « **Reply #7054 on:** 16 November, 2015, 10:36:48 am »

Between pulling shots on the Europiccola and playing flyswat tennis in the kitchen yesterday I can hardly move my right arm today.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #7055 on:** 17 November, 2015, 02:05:40 pm »

Right foot, plz to not be exhibiting symptoms of cramp for 48 hours and counting. It make walking hurty and I need to go out later. kthxbai.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #7056 on:** 18 November, 2015, 03:47:33 pm »

http://www.bristol247.com/channel/whats-on/art-01/exhibitions/bristol-parkhive?time=1447840800

Quote

Exhibition of this new photography archive, consisting of images of Bristol's parks and green spaces - taken by the people who use them.

Produced by the Bristol Parkhive project, a collaboration between the University of the West of England’s Faculty of Arts, Creative Industries and Education, and Bristol Parks Forum, the umbrella organisation which represents volunteer-led community parks group across the city.

Alongside the Digital Photographic Archive, the project has generated, and supported a wide range of projects throughout 2015, all of which have focussed on collaboration between UWE students, staff and Bristol Parks Forum volunteers to achieve improved outcomes for Bristol’s Parks and Green Spaces.

Pictured: Trooper's Hill (detail) by Rob Acton Campbell.

Preview night Wed 18 Nov, 5-8pm.

For more info on the Bristol Parkhive project, visit www.bristolparkhive.com

So wherethefuck is this "preview" of the "exhibition"? The website makes no mention of any exhibition.

mcshroom · « **Reply #7057 on:** 19 November, 2015, 01:35:08 pm »

I opened my lunch flask today to find nothing but hot water in it. I guess the soup will still be standing in the microwave at home.

Lunch out of a vending machine is definately less preferable.

Legs · « **Reply #7058 on:** 19 November, 2015, 02:40:22 pm »

Bill Gates sees fit to autocorrect “orthotist” to “orthoptist”. I nearly misled my wife with an emailed account of how everything had got well when I took the Leglet to hospital to have his eyes straightened (with insoles)...

CAMRAMan · « **Reply #7059 on:** 19 November, 2015, 03:58:30 pm »

Children of mine: One of you wanted some Fruit and Fibre. No problem. There's a bit more sugar and salt added to it than I like, but it's healthier than Cheerios.

So, do you take some from the already opened packet 5cm or so away from the unopened one? No.

1) You choose the unopened one
2) You proceed to open the cardboard box top so menkily that it cannot be resealed
3) You then open the inner bag so ham-fistedly that it is difficult now to scrunch it up as airtight as possible
4) To add insult to all that, you then leave most of it in a bowl for me to clear up!

There will be a lecture.

Basil · « **Reply #7060 on:** 21 November, 2015, 04:55:01 pm »

Thursday morning, the cat was notable by his absence as I wandered around between bedroom and bathroom. Normally, he would be figure eighting under my feet saying "Are we going downstairs yet? Are we going downstairs yet? Are we going downstairs yet?"
When I went into the kitchen, there he was whining to be let in outside the back door.
Little red light blinking on the cat flap. Blat flattery.
"Ah, sorry Daf"

So I nipped across the road to the garage and bought a pack of four Duracell (it uses 4 AAs)
This morning it's blinking again! Wtf? How can that be?

I've gaffer taped the little lock down until I can buy batteries from somewhere else. I'm just hoping it was a duff set.

T42 · « **Reply #7061 on:** 22 November, 2015, 09:36:32 am »

Why the fuck are UK websites sending me "Black Friday" offers? Are they referring to the day after US Thanksgiving or last week's terrorist attacks?

Kim · « **Reply #7062 on:** 22 November, 2015, 02:07:03 pm »

Quote from: T42 on 22 November, 2015, 09:36:32 am

Why the fuck are UK websites sending me "Black Friday" offers? Are they referring to the day after US Thanksgiving

Yes.

Think of it as a buffer zone to keep the Christmas marketing from starting as soon as Halloween's over.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #7063 on:** 22 November, 2015, 02:35:16 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 22 November, 2015, 02:07:03 pm

Quote from: T42 on 22 November, 2015, 09:36:32 am
Why the fuck are UK websites sending me "Black Friday" offers? Are they referring to the day after US Thanksgiving

Yes.

Think of it as a buffer zone to keep the Christmas marketing from starting as soon as Halloween's over.

You know what? It hasn't worked!

woollypigs · « **Reply #7064 on:** 22 November, 2015, 02:42:03 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 22 November, 2015, 02:35:16 pm

Quote from: Kim on 22 November, 2015, 02:07:03 pm
Quote from: T42 on 22 November, 2015, 09:36:32 am
Why the fuck are UK websites sending me "Black Friday" offers? Are they referring to the day after US Thanksgiving

Yes.

Think of it as a buffer zone to keep the Christmas marketing from starting as soon as Halloween's over.

You know what? It hasn't worked!

yup never worked because it started before Halloween.

offcumden · « **Reply #7065 on:** 22 November, 2015, 04:09:50 pm »

Two artificially blithe looking ladies knocked at my door this afternoon.
"We're just coming round today asking if you have any concerns for what the future holds." - offers me a leaflet, which doubtless explains the meaning of life in a hundred words.
"I'm not at all interested. I'm an atheist, not interested."
I turn away, leaving them standing smiling emptily on the doorstep. They move slowly away, off to bother my neighbours with their fatuous questions.

They can bother 'god' if they want, just wish they wouldn't bother me.

Karla · « **Reply #7066 on:** 22 November, 2015, 05:07:23 pm »

You

Yes you!

YES YOU!

You're the only other person here. If I'm calling your name but you can't quite hear what I'm saying, which do you think is the appropriate response?

1) Carry on whatever you're doing?
2) Conclude that I'm trying to attract your attention, and thus respond something along the lines of "Sorry Pharti I can't quite hear you, could you shout a little louder please?"

De Sisti · « **Reply #7067 on:** 22 November, 2015, 07:23:29 pm »

Quote from: offcumden on 22 November, 2015, 04:09:50 pm

Two artificially blithe looking ladies knocked at my door this afternoon.
"We're just coming round today asking if you have any concerns for what the future holds." - offers me a leaflet,

Had a couple of them aroundbhere recently.

spesh · « **Reply #7068 on:** 22 November, 2015, 11:25:46 pm »

Quote from: offcumden on 22 November, 2015, 04:09:50 pm

Two artificially blithe looking ladies knocked at my door this afternoon.

I misread that as "artificially lithe looking".

Which would make for an interesting marketing shift in the evangelical god and weakly-godlike entity-bothering field of door-to-door nuisances.

jsabine · « **Reply #7069 on:** 23 November, 2015, 12:46:59 am »

Quote from: offcumden on 22 November, 2015, 04:09:50 pm

Two artificially blithe looking ladies knocked at my door this afternoon.
"We're just coming round today asking if you have any concerns for what the future holds." - offers me a leaflet, which doubtless explains the meaning of life in a hundred words.
"I'm not at all interested. I'm an atheist, not interested."
I turn away, leaving them standing smiling emptily on the doorstep. They move slowly away, off to bother my neighbours with their fatuous questions.

They can bother 'god' if they want, just wish they wouldn't bother me.

Two alternative manners in which to respond:

i) A friend of my ex reckoned she was frequently approached on the Tube by people who would sit beside her and, in a cheery fashion, ask "Have you talked to Jesus recently?" - she'd concluded that the best answer was, brightly, "Yes! He's warned me about people like you!"

ii) My school RE teacher claimed that whenever godmongers turned up on his doorstep, he'd invite them in and offer them a cup of tea. They'd settle in on his sofa, and ask "Have you read the Bible recently?" "Yes," he'd reply: "as a matter of fact I've got two degrees in theology." Apparently burnt throats were common as they scrambled to make a quick exit, without being so rude as to abandon their teas.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #7070 on:** 23 November, 2015, 03:10:48 am »

Claim to be a druid. Bonus points if you happen to be sharpening a sickle at the time.

T42 · « **Reply #7071 on:** 23 November, 2015, 07:39:55 am »

VAT declaration this morning and cardiac stress test this afternoon.

Wombat · « **Reply #7072 on:** 23 November, 2015, 08:16:19 am »

ITYM VAT declaration AND cardiac stress test this morning...

Good luck with it, anyway!

T42 · « **Reply #7073 on:** 23 November, 2015, 09:47:09 am »

Ta.

VAT declaration was moderately painful but has been done and extortionate sum paid. Now awaiting next blow.

Vince · « **Reply #7074 on:** 23 November, 2015, 10:33:56 am »

Quote from: jsabine on 23 November, 2015, 12:46:59 am

ii) My school RE teacher claimed that whenever godmongers turned up on his doorstep, he'd invite them in and offer them a cup of tea. They'd settle in on his sofa, and ask "Have you read the Bible recently?" "Yes," he'd reply: "as a matter of fact I've got two degrees in theology." Apparently burnt throats were common as they scrambled to make a quick exit, without being so rude as to abandon their teas.

My father in law (licensed reader) used to do this. On one occasion he had them there for 3 hours. I believe he felt he was saving his neighbours from being bothered.