the food rant thread

[noisycrank]

Naively (with the exception of the worrying substance found inside the oil filler of my aging Renault) I had assumed that all mayonnaise had at least some nodding acquaintance with olive oil. I was therefore amused that Hellmanns had started to advertise Mayo with olive oil. The full story is of course much worse.

http://www.snack-girl.com/snack/hellmanns-olive-oil-mayonnaise/

[pcolbeck]

I have never regarded Hellmanns as mayonnaise it a sort of imitation mayonnaise alike. Its good as a thing in itself but doesn't really taste like mayonnaise. I wouldn't want real mayonnaise on a burger or blt  I want Hellmanns or similar but for potatoe salad or a coleslaw real mayonnaise rules. Horses for courses.

[hellymedic]

I have preferred the taste of Hellmans to my Mum's home-made mayonnaise since I was a Very Little Girl.
You may kill me now.

Making mayonnaise is one of the first things Mum taught me.
Our family has lived on mayo for longer than I can remember (but I didn't know what chips were till I was eight).

[pcolbeck]

In France they sell mayonnaise in jars in supermarkets that tastes almost like real mayonnaise. Not sure why they cant mange it in the UK.

[ian]

I thought the whole point of mayonnaise was olive oil, it what gives it the peppery edge. Making it will other oil seems pointless, but then the point of industrial mayonnaise seems to provide a substrate that holds the rest of the sandwich together, rather than edibility. I don't mind the real stuff, but other mayonnaises can fuck off, it's just oily goo, like they harvested the various exudates of greasy teenagers.

Salad cream though, that's where it at. You want haute cuisine, the kind that kicks a garcon in the balls, then two slices of thin sliced bread, a pack a ready salted crisps, and a bottle of salad cream is all you need.

[pcolbeck]

Egg mayonnaise sandwiches need a good squirt of salad cream mixed in to give them a lift.

[Pingu]

Mayonnaise is for frites 

[fuzzy]

The point of industrial mayonnaise is to help use up all that oily industrial waste.

Salad cream is absolutely foul 

Cop spotting as a destination decider is a reasonable tactic but, for dogs sake, don't rely on it over here. Many a young copper nowdays thinks MaccyDees is top nosh 

Back in my day, copper spotting was how you identified the ultimate filthy kebab van

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

Salad cream though, that's where it at. You want haute cuisine, the kind that kicks a garcon in the balls, then two slices of thin sliced bread, a pack a ready salted crisps, and a bottle of salad cream is all you need.

Add some lurid cheese and I'm right there with you.

Mayonnaise is demon semen, and not in a good way. Heinz Salad Cream (and it's vomity cousin, Sandwich Spread) is 99 kinds of delicious.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Sandwich Spread is not merely vomit, it is bile. You can tell by the acidity.

[pcolbeck]

Eggy bread (or gypsy bread or whatever you call it) dipped in salad cream - yum yum.

[contango]

My bigest dissapointment in New York was Cheesecake.

Now I was "brought up" on books which described the cheesecakes of NY as the ultimate experience in that field.

I can assure you not so at all. They were tiny. I ask you tiny flat cheese cake in NY and it tasted rubbish. *sighs* What a let down.

OTOH it is true that if in doubt look for the cop eating, a sure sign of quality and so it proved. We took the subway to Brooklyn and got off at the terminus, which we did for every borough BTW, and there were very few places to eat but in a tiny little place there was the proverbial bobby stuffing his face.. and the pizza there was just awesome one of the greatest eating experiences or our lives. Seriously!

PH

I think of New York Cheesecake as the kind of thing everybody raves about and that tastes great, as long as you haven't tasted cheesecake. Kind of like McDonalds tastes great if you've never eaten, well, anything other than McDonalds. It has a style of its own, just like the nondescript white goo smothered over burgers has a style of its own. Having had "New York cheesecake" everywhere from tiny little hick towns in the back end of nowhere, to New York City itself, my conclusion is that it's overrated.

I have had some pretty good food in NYC, but the cheesecake wasn't it.

[hellymedic]

Sandwich Spread is not merely vomit, it is bile. You can tell by the acidity.

<pedant>

Bile is alkaline
Sandwich spread is acidic

[Cudzoziemiec]

I stand corrected. Sandwich spread is gastric juice. With carrots. So it really is vomit, after all.

[ian]

Years ago, travelling around Europe with an American friend, sitting in a pub by Paddington station he orders the jacket potato. Asks for sour cream. The person behind the bar looks puzzled but nods. Potato comes back with white gloop on top.

The look on his face as took the first mouthful – 'ugh mayonn...' he spits 'but it's off...'

It was salad cream, of course. He lacks the sophisticated palette of us Europeans. My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.

[L CC]

I am salivating at these descriptions of sandwiches. The idea of endless bacon bits in a sea of cheesy mayo with some sort of basic food elements hidden in there really gets my juices flowing. I suspect I may be a closet american.

+ many

[ian]

Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.

Of bacon.

[L CC]

Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.

Of bacon.

[Kim]

My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.

+1

[tiermat]

My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.

+1

Agreed, but Hellamans et al contain a bare minimum of egg product, the majority of the volume being water.

[hellymedic]

My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.

+1

Agreed, but Hellamans et al contain a bare minimum of egg product, the majority of the volume being water.

Hellman's Real (as opposed to Light or Stupid Light) Mayonnaise has more Calories per gram than butter.
There's very little water in it; it's mostly cheap vegetable oil.
What else could you expect from Unilever?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Detergent?

[L CC]

Could you all stop your condemnation of the Hellman's please? Any Fule No that only butter is better, and people look at you funny if you put butter chunks on your bacon & salad.

Nectar of the Gods.

(click to show/hide)

I got some more of that minging jizz for you as it's salad for tea

[hellymedic]

Not guilty Miss!
I always posted that I liked Hellman's.

I might be sad enough to know its Calorie count.

I appreciate not everyone likes it.

That is true of any comestible.

[contango]

Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.

Of bacon.

To follow fboab, only in America can you get a salad that Homer Simpson would order.