the food rant thread

[Efrogwr]

The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.

This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.

I wish I could!

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

Snowballs are my Eurovision drink of choice. They taste like the red lollies in sherbet dipdabs.

[ian]

Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed.  I have a bottle in my fridge, when no one is looking I go rustle up a snowball. It tumbles me right back to my childhood when my gran used to make them. She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.

[Pingu]

Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed.  I have a bottle in my fridge, when no one is looking I go rustle up a snowball. It tumbles me right back to my childhood when my gran used to make them. She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to my her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.

I used to get Sweetheart Stout 

[Mr Larrington]

I'm told it used to be SOP to give new mothers Guinness after giving birth but in the period between Dr Larrington's arrival and mine the practice died out.

[hellymedic]

I understand blood donors were routinely given Guinness in Ireland.

[contango]

...avocados and advokaat...

Could this be a basis for a cocktail?

If so there must be a huge amount of money available - all you need is an army of teenagers willing to squeeze zits into glasses and sneeze.

[contango]

Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed. 

You start a thread called "the food rant thread" and expect to be let off as easily as that, when drinking something that looks like pus? Are you kidding me?

She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.

When I was a child (i.e. small enough to be drinking milk from a bottle) my parents had trouble getting me to sleep. A family friend said she gave her son (who was about the same age as me) a tablespoon of brandy in his milk and it put him out like a light. So a tablespoon of brandy went in my milk bottle, and had no effect at all. So the next day two tablespoons, then three, then four, and so on. By the time I was drinking 6oz of milk with 2oz of brandy and still not obliging by sleeping my parents gave up on the idea.

Curiously if anything it was whisky that had virtually no effect on me when I was of an age to test such limits. In my student days I could easily drink half a bottle of whisky or more and show no visible effects at all. One particular evening a friend thought I was "slightly tipsy", and was quite taken aback when he realised I'd had just shy of a pint of the stuff.

[ian]

Guinness is still regarded as having magical health powers in west Africa, the old 'Guinness is good for you' meme that still lingers on those worn and peeling adverts. I'm not sure how sick you have to be to make that a relative truth.

I'm still liking the advocaat. I got no shame, mix it up with Babycham a drop a morello cherry in it, and I'm all yours. It's also quite nice tipped over ice cream.

I'm more concerned that people are saying that some types of Stella 'aren't nice to drink' which presupposes that there is, somewhere, a Stella that is nice to drink. This doesn't seem conceivable. I think a lot of these brewed under licence things are like the Guinness, they knock up some kind of flavouring extract and ship it around the world and then dilute it with cheap, industrial lager product or cargo ship bilge on site.

Sadly, you can't get Lav lager in the UK, which is probably the most aptly named lager in the world (it's not that bad, compared to the industrial muck in our pubs).

[Cudzoziemiec]

Advocaaaaaaaaat is a bit like drinking an especially sweet and liquid alcoholic custard. But not quite as good as that would actually be.

[contango]

I'm still liking the advocaat. I got no shame, mix it up with Babycham a drop a morello cherry in it, and I'm all yours. It's also quite nice tipped over ice cream.

I believe the mocking should continue until you relent.

I'm more concerned that people are saying that some types of Stella 'aren't nice to drink' which presupposes that there is, somewhere, a Stella that is nice to drink. This doesn't seem conceivable. I think a lot of these brewed under licence things are like the Guinness, they knock up some kind of flavouring extract and ship it around the world and then dilute it with cheap, industrial lager product or cargo ship bilge on site.

It may be that the mythical "perfect pint of Stella" is a theoretical construct only, describing an item that's harder to find than a unicorn that craps solid gold. Although that said "this Stella isn't nice" doesn't technically imply that a product that might be called "nice Stella" actually exists, it merely observes that the Stella in the glass right now isn't nice. It's a bit like observing that a tart doesn't have a heart of gold, a traffic warden doesn't have a forgiving spirit, a dog barks like a stuck record and assume it's everybody's favourite, and a solicitor went on holiday in the middle of your complicated house purchase. The opposite may theoretically exist but its existence isn't technically implied by the observation. Maybe a vain hope lives on in those untainted by reality but, you know...

Sadly, you can't get Lav lager in the UK, which is probably the most aptly named lager in the world (it's not that bad, compared to the industrial muck in our pubs).

It's hard to imagine anything worse than Castlemaine XXXX. To think that people voluntarily hand over money to experience it is mind-boggling. Unless they did the same thing I did, buy one pint and resolve never to touch the stuff again, and there are just lots of unenlightened drifters who have yet to experience the culinary abomination that is XXXX.

[pcolbeck]

Back in the 90s I worked for a firm that had offices all over Europe. We didn't visit them much but did occasionally. A college was dispatched to the Belgium office in Antwerp for a a couple of weeks to fill a skills gap on a project. When he came back we asked him how it went, his reply "Oh the people were nice but I couldn't find a decent pint of larger, they don't sell Fosters anywhere over there!". The rest of us were gobsmacked for days.

[madcow]

contango- ref XXXX - Can is suggest that you try  draft 1664 as a comparison?
If you are  of mature years , you may also have experienced the original  "Kestrel " lager marketed by Scottish and Newcastle.
Not their proudest achievement IMHO.

I have just googled Kestrel beer and it's being marketed with a "strong Scottish heritage". It's still piss in a can, just can't decide if its cats ,rats or gnats.

[pcolbeck]

Kestrel do "Kestrel Premium" a 9% brew that I think is intended for those who find Special Brew a bit too upmarket and poncey.
I was reduced to drinking this at a bike rally once as that's all a friend brought back when he did a supermarket run with the kitty. An experience never to be repeated.

[ian]

I remember once, in another of those ill-advised student adventures, we had a party themed around various varieties of what might best be described as tramp juice. So we had the Special Brew, the Tennents Super, Kestrel Premium, White Lightning Cider, MD20, Thunderbird, and the like. It says something that even students couldn't drink this crap and had to abandon and go down the pub. And if you've ever thrown up Thunderbird (a natural corollary of having drunk Thunderbird) you'll never be able to look at another bottle, even behind the counter, without an involuntary stomach back-flip.

[contango]

contango- ref XXXX - Can is suggest that you try  draft 1664 as a comparison?
If you are  of mature years , you may also have experienced the original  "Kestrel " lager marketed by Scottish and Newcastle.
Not their proudest achievement IMHO.

I have just googled Kestrel beer and it's being marketed with a "strong Scottish heritage". It's still piss in a can, just can't decide if its cats ,rats or gnats.

In my younger (lager drinking) days I used to like 1664. I'd drink the "export" tagged lagers which seemed to be more or less the same as the regular ones. It was during my lager drinking days that I had my somewhat abortive adventure with XXXX. These days I tend not to drink much lager, I much prefer ales. Living on the left side of the Atlantic these days I don't know I could get 1664 if I tried, although I have seen Newcastle Brown Ale for sale at a price that makes me wonder why anyone in their right mind would pay it.

I vaguely remember Kestrel. Kestrel Super Strength was their silly strong beer (about 9.5% IIRC) that tasted pretty grim but was good for getting lots of alcohol down fast. I have vague memories of mixing it with tequila in my student days. Whether the memories are vague because of elapsed years, the effects of the alcohol, or a desperate attempt by my brain to rid itself of memories of the trauma remains unknown.

[contango]

I remember once, in another of those ill-advised student adventures, we had a party themed around various varieties of what might best be described as tramp juice. So we had the Special Brew, the Tennents Super, Kestrel Premium, White Lightning Cider, MD20, Thunderbird, and the like. It says something that even students couldn't drink this crap and had to abandon and go down the pub. And if you've ever thrown up Thunderbird (a natural corollary of having drunk Thunderbird) you'll never be able to look at another bottle, even behind the counter, without an involuntary stomach back-flip.

I remember drinking Thunderbird as a student, but only once. Mixing it with Kestrel Super and tequila seemed like a good idea at the time. The result wasn't the best tasting thing I've ever encountered but was good for getting very drunk, very fast (it still tasted vastly better than XXXX). The following morning demonstrated just what a Not Good Idea it had been.

I remember mixing Gold Label, Diamond White and pernod with a splash of blackcurrant to create a cocktail known as a Purple Nasty. The first time I ordered that in a non-student pub the barman looked at me as if to say "you want me to mix what?". One pint of that was all you'd need for the evening, a second pint would have nasty repercussions the following morning. Thankfully it wasn't long after ordering it that I started to grow up and stick to at least moderately more sensible drinks, even if "more sensible" still meant 1664.

[hatler]

I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.

[Mr Larrington]

I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia.  It's another one which varies in taste according to whether it comes from Mr Patel or Mr Sainsbury.

[contango]

I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.

Ah yes, the sugary syrup with alcohol in it beloved of cocktails that just need a splash of colour.

A friend of mine was a teetotaller when he first arrived at university. On a trip into town I somehow helped him conclude that what he really needed was a bottle of creme de menthe, a bottle of creme de bananes, and a case of Budweiser. I never did figure out quite how that panned out. Still, bright green and bright yellow made for some interesting colour combinations, although the best-tasting drink (relatively speaking) we found with either of them was the rather dangerously named "snake in the grass" which turned out to be nothing more than creme de menthe and lemonade, with sugar optional in case the syrupy sweetness of the creme de menthe was insufficient.

On another note a fair few years ago a friend wanted to whittle down his drinks cabinet so invited a load of us around for a cocktail party. We started out drinking B52s, and when one of the ingredients ran out (we were quite well oiled by that stage) I just substituted it for something else and called it a B53. Next up was the B54, and so on. By the end of the evening we were into the 60s, nobody except me knew what was in the cocktails (and I couldn't remember), and all we knew was that the morning after there were lots of sore heads and the remains of the final drink was still in a glass. It was a murky green colour with a black swirl in it.

The host was pleased that a large chunk of his drinks cabinet had been cleared out, but less pleased that half of his bottle of 16-year-old Lagavulin had also disappeared along the way.

[contango]

I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia.  It's another one which varies in taste according to whether it comes from Mr Patel or Mr Sainsbury.

I can't say I've noticed it but to be honest I haven't been looking out for it. I did find Old Speckled Hen in a supermarket in South Carolina a couple of years ago.

[ian]

I think the difference in booze is down to the imported vs. brewed under licence by industrial chemists. Brewers swear it's the same. My wife's BFF is someone mysteriously senior at SABMiller and she won't tell me, probably because they've put a microchip in her brain to stop her. Her eyes glaze like she's had Everest in and she says 'it is the same' in a robot voice, and then, a moment later, she clicks back into reality with a 'did I say something?'

Old Speckled Hen I find unmistakably foul too. Sort of sticky icky, like it's made out of tongues and snail slime.

On other matters, is it just me, or does Red Bull smell like old sick? And why are people drinking it. Apparently it contains taurine. Are they cats? Do they lick their own arse clean? Enquiring minds want to know. OK, you can skip the last bit.

[perpetual dan]

I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia.

Some time in the 90s I found Watney's Red Barrel in San Francisco. It feels a bit late to re-hash the Python rant.

I think this might also be relevant to the discussion...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25HaJKSA2c

[T42]

Missus brought home what looked a saucisson sec. Corsican, proverbially made from donkey but this one said pork.  So I chop off a few chunks and try it. Strange flavour, maybe the pork was called Neddy after all.

Having eaten about a third with it, sharing with the dogs, I read further in the ingredients list and find "à consommer cuit à coeur" - "cook through before eating".

So here I am, sitting with several inches of raw donkey pig parts in my gut, awaiting consequences.

[hellymedic]

You are more likely to suffer ill-health from part-cooked piggy than donkey.

You'll probably be fine anyway.