the food rant thread

[menthel]

The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.

Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! 

http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe

Luckily I managed to marry a Bengali, a people whom do seem to understand how to fettle an aubergine to the highest culinary heights!

[ian]

I remain unconvinced, they always seem a bit bland and spongy and are usually found lying flaccid in a puddle of sauce and oil. The vegetable that didn't try. I mean they look like they might be exciting in the shop but they're all a bit of a let down once you've cooked them. The only way to get any flavour in them seems to be marinate for six weeks, set fire to them or marry a Bengali. Possibly all three. Broccoli is easier.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?

I am very much in favour, in curries or tagines or imam bayildi.

[TheLurker]

On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?

When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.

*Knock fried** bread and, or spam fritters into a cocked hat. Hoh yus.

**Frying.  The _only_ way to prepare food _properly_.

[Jurek]

On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?

When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.

*Knock fried** bread and, or spam fritters into a cocked hat. Hoh yus.

**Frying.  The _only_ way to prepare food _properly_.

My bold.
This.
An ex of mine used to do them this way, and they were indeed, sublime.

[jsabine]

On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?

As a Son of York I ought to be in favour of them but in reality they don't do anything that can't be done more cheaply with the Humble Potato.

I find it difficult to believe that you could turn a Maris Piper into a satisfactory Baba Ganoush.

'Course, I would be delighted to be proven wrong, especially if such proof was in the form of samples.

[ian]

Well, the alchemy of frying can turn even the most undesirable elements of a fridge or larder to salivalicious delectability. But that's cheating especially if you microtome them into sylphy wisps of vegetable and then gild them with batter or breadcrumb (though ye gods no panko crumb). There's no cheating allowed in this thread. I'm talking big slabs of sloppy aubergine served like flappy frisbees. I've probably been cursed by the Demon of Eggplant Parmigiana. It happens.

[rr]

The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.

Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! 

http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe

Luckily I managed to marry a Bengali, a people whom do seem to understand how to fettle an aubergine to the highest culinary heights!

As do mu Rajistani in-laws

[Clare]

Aubergines are fucking hideous.

[Jaded]

You cannot fry Aubergines. They soak oil up and should really be used for oil spills at sea.

[Mr Larrington]

I remain unconvinced, they always seem a bit bland and spongy and are usually found lying flaccid in a puddle of sauce and oil. The vegetable that didn't try. I mean they look like they might be exciting in the shop but they're all a bit of a let down once you've cooked them. The only way to get any flavour in them seems to be marinate for six weeks, set fire to them or marry a Bengali. Possibly all three. Broccoli is easier.

Broccoli certainly burns better, unless the aubergine has been soaked in the right kind of oil (see Jaded's post).  But you might just as well use the oil for something useful, like making chips, or fuelling a small-block Chevy.

[ian]

I sense a parting of the ways, maybe I've levered open the great vegetable schism, let the aubergenie out of the lamp. What exactly does aubergine taste of? That's my problem. Even an avocado manages to taste like disappointment. Aubergine is just a sponge and you may as not bother if you've got to soak it in enough oil that it'll pass as an Alaskan seabird. It's another of those vegetables that gets dressed up for the party, looks like it might be fun, but is in fact quite dull.

[Legs]

I can't prepare aubergines, nay, even walk past one, without getting these gravelly tones (accompanied by strident brass section), lodged in my head:

This is the naked truth
This is the light
There's only one place left to go...
Aubergine (ba ba ba ba-da bah, ba ba ba ba ba da ba-da...)

[pcolbeck]

Aubergines are fucking hideous.

They are a nice shade of purple though.

[mrcharly-YHT]

You cannot fry Aubergines. They soak oil up and should really be used for oil spills at sea.

That's part of the point of aubergines. They are the vegetable equivalent of sliced white bread; it only exists as a sponge-like carrier for fat.

Instead of a fried slice, try a fried aubergine. You can fool yourself you are eating one of your five a day while indulging in food so greasy it could fuel a Volkswagen.

[ian]

That's what scares me a bit, that little smudgy cube of aubergine resting on top of your curry probably contains more oil than the middle-east.

[tiermat]

Aubergines are fucking hideous.

I am with Clare on this one.

Best way to prepare Aubergines?

"Get ready, Aubergines"
Open bin
Insert Aubergines into bin.
Job done.

[lahoski]

The key to a non-greasy aubergine is to char slices on a ridged griddle pan. Then chuck it in a sauce to finish it off. Or in a sandwich with harissa and tahini. Fuck yeah.

That said... berenjenas fritas con miel is possibly the best tapa EVER. If it's with proper miel that is. Although I have a weird liking for that treacly black shit cheap restaurants use.

Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?



Mmm... yum.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Aubergines are both delicious and beautiful.

Can you even buy proper margarine - the stuff made from boiled cows and Chemicals - any more?  Everything seems to be either heavily-mutated olive oil or variations on the theme of not-butter.

Not sure. The thing returned to the bottom of the fridge list as its ingredients: vegetable oils, buttermilk, cream. So almost butter but not quite. I only bought it cos it was the cheapest, but I think I did spot Stork on the stupormarket shelves.*

Anyway, the shortbread he made with it turned rather delicious. Really very, very good indeed. The fruit salad wasn't bad either (no, it did not contain margarine).

But there's still the question of bringing things home. Next week they're making eggs on toast ( ) and a future 'project' will be pizza; both things which really need to be eaten hot and don't take well to being warmed up. Still, eggs is eggses is good.

*Look! A whole kilo of it!

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

Tesco Finest candyfloss grapes. 

[Mr Larrington]

lahoski old chap, are those vegetables or sex toys?

Cyril Fletcher would be wetting himself.

[fuzzy]

Aubergines? Lovely. Mind the thorns though........

[Plug1n]

Tesco Finest candyfloss grapes. 

I agree.  We got some Tesco ones last weekend which were yucky.  However, Sainsbury candy floss grapes the week before were like distilled nectar.

[contango]

The key to a non-greasy aubergine is to char slices on a ridged griddle pan. Then chuck it in a sauce to finish it off. Or in a sandwich with harissa and tahini. Fuck yeah.

That said... berenjenas fritas con miel is possibly the best tapa EVER. If it's with proper miel that is. Although I have a weird liking for that treacly black shit cheap restaurants use.

Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?



Mmm... yum.

Being easy on the eye is no guarantee of being easy on the stomach. I personally love the look of the Lamborghini Aventador Roadster but I'm not sure that eating one would be a good idea. Aubergines are much the same - a well formed one may be pleasing to behold but the relationship needs to begin and end there. Unlike the Lamborghini it's not even as if you can do anything useful with an aubergine.

Here in the rural USA people use pumpkins to decorate their homes at this time of year. Closer to Halloween there are, naturally, large numbers of unsold pumpkins floating about. Rather than adopting the pathetic approach of UK retailers who drop the price again and again until finally they offer mouldy pumpkins for 50p in the middle of November, here they do something far more fun. Enter Punkin Chunkin, a chance to combine the love of weapons ancient and modern with an overabundance of suitable projectiles. Yes, you too can stand in a field watching hillbillies fire pumpkins with a variety of air cannons, trebuchets and the like.

Sadly aubergines not only fail to meet the shape requirements of a good projectile but "Eggplant Chunkin" doesn't even roll off the tongue the way "Punkin Chunkin" does. So chalk up another fail to the abomination that is the aubergine.

[Clare]

Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?



Mmm... yum.

I didn't say they look hideous, I said they are hideous. That is one of the problems I have with aubergines, they are incredibly beautiful to look at, they promise so much, I expect waves of supreme taste and texture under that glossy purple coat but they deliver no taste except the grease they are cooked in and have all the texture of a freshly laid cow pat.