the food rant thread

[ian]

I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.

In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.

[contango]

I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.

In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.

If it's any consolation I didn't try advocaat again. It didn't taste nice the first time, didn't taste nice the second time, didn't taste nice the third time, so I applied a simple "three strikes" policy and the advocaat was out. As it happens, so were the aubergines and avocados.

Today's exciting food-related venture was Punkin Chunkin. Lots of redneck hillbillies, lots of catapults and trebuchets, and lots of pumpkins smashed to pieces as they hit the waters of the lake at speed. Sadly they didn't have opportunities to fling baskets of aubergines and avocados instead of pumpkins.

[Tigerrr]

I've just been out to a leaving 'do' at a restaurant in Darlo.

It was bloody disgusting.  The service was non-existent - I'm still waiting for more parmesan on my pasta, and for my coffee, and I've been home twenty minutes.  And the seat I had was directly under a freezing cold draught which stank of fag smoke and toilets, in a kind of nasty cycle of stench.  There was a cobweb a foot long directly over my head as well.

The best thing you could say about my food was that it was edible.  It's left a kind of aftertaste, in a bad way.

The girl who'd organised it would have been mortified if I'd said anything, so I didn't, but really.  Yuck.

I have tried to find Darlo on the map in order to avoid it but to no avail. Is it an abbreviation of Darlington? In which case it was already on the list of places not to go to.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

The importation of fresh curry leaves into EU is now banned.  Still, at least the risk of edible greenery based jihad is reduced. 

[tiermat]

Name and shame, Ruthie.

[Ruthie]

Name and shame, Ruthie.

Foffano's, Market Square, Darlington.

You get what you pay for, for sure.

Tigerr, this is a restaurant in the town of Darlington.

Darlington is very nice.  This restaurant is not.

 There are excellent restaurants in Darlington. 

Do you understand now?

[Tigerrr]

Darlington is a very interesting place. I just read all about it on Wikipedia, unfortunately Foffanos not mentioned.  The Cummiins engine factory is there last remnant of a major engineering history, and also the major employer - the Student Loans Company, plus Argos distribution centre. in 1939 it had more cinema seats per head than anywhere in the UK! Characterised by pockets of wealth and extreme deprivation side by side. Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.   

[Kim]

Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.

IIRC they have been pressing north since the big supermarket sell-off of the mid-noughties and have successfully invaded Scotland.

[Cudzoziemiec]

The importation of fresh curry leaves into EU is now banned.  Still, at least the risk of edible greenery based jihad is reduced. 

Waaaaaaah? Why?

[madcow]

Citrus greening disease precautions that no exporting country was  able to demonstrate compliance with.

https://www.asian-voice.com/News/UK/London/Ban-on-fresh-curry-leaves-disappoint-British-Asians

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.

[David Martin]

The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.

It would have a negative impact on Britain because we are part of the EU (at the moment) and thus if any of the citrus growing nations suffer then we all would suffer. I am struggling to see how curry leaves could transmit the pathogen though.

[Tigerrr]

Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.

IIRC they have been pressing north since the big supermarket sell-off of the mid-noughties and have successfully invaded Scotland.

You are right. There is now a very handy map of Waitrose locations all over the country for the benefit of travelling Londoners. That must be a boon.

[Pickled Onion]

Name and shame, Ruthie.

Foffano's, Market Square, Darlington.

Appears to have a lot of 5-star reviews on trip advisor. Might be worth adding your opinion.

[menthel]

I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.

In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.

Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.

[madcow]

The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.

 This is probably an E.U Directive so it will be to protect the citrus crop in Southern Europe.

[ian]

I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.

In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.

Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.

Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.

I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.

I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).

[menthel]

I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.

In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.

Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.

Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.

I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.

I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).

Go Turkish for Imam biyaldi. Will blow your mind.

Rant at something worthwhile, like dragonfruit- look amazing and taste of absolutely zero.

[Efrogwr]

Blue Bols… the only known use is as one of the colours in a Green Monster.

Blue bols, orange juice and vodka. Don't bother; it's the colour of army issue socks.

[T42]

Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch.  He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt.

[Tigerrr]

Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch.  He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt.

As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.

[ian]

Go Turkish for Imam biyaldi. Will blow your mind.

Rant at something worthwhile, like dragonfruit- look amazing and taste of absolutely zero.

I have ventured through the entire rubbery landscape of aubergine, from the Palace of Disappointment through to the rolling Foothills of Despair. I've walked the streets of the grand city of Meh. I've listened to the pleadings of the people. I've been petitioned before the court of King Brinjal, and attended the Church of the Holy Eggplant Pope. Nothing they say, no whispered blessing, no furtive bribe, can turn me. The truth is taller than any mountain, deeper than any sea. The aubergine is dull. Sure, it dresses up nice, but believe me, an evening with an aubergine is going nowhere.

You may as well eat decaying rubber grommets.

And with you on the dragonfruit though. I remember years ago in Hong Kong seeing one, carved up in the breakfast buffet. I'm having you, my little mysterious juicy fruit. I may as well have ate my spoon. Another food item dressed to the nines in promise.

[menthel]

We can agree to disagree with the aubergine but can unite against the dragon fruit and its ilk.

[T42]

Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch.  He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt.

As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.

Well it didn't work on the boudin antillais so I thought...

[Tigerrr]

I just purchased a fine luncheon of snickers bars - 4 for a £1 deal in Tesco. Imagine my disgust when on opening the generously proportioned outer wrapping I discovered the actual bars are tiny! This is yet another example of Tescos losing the plot. I will in future buy the imitation mars bars in Aldi.