Food that I'll have nothing to do with

[L CC]

Remember the Before Times, when waiting staff in pubs asked if you wanted any sauces?

Bucket of Mayo please

[ian]

The bottles of mayonnaise left on tables in pubs really rile my German pal. This is egg, she'll shout, this will make you sick! It should be in the fridge! Then she'll go and throw it in the bin and demand a fresh bottle. She's very German.

I don't think pub mayonnaise is a natural substance (and for the record, with that much oil, it's probably OK. I had some HP sauce the other day that was BBE 2018.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Not all toast starts off as Chorleywood (I nearly typed Chorleywool...)

Toasted Cholla or Bulka (same/similar dough, but big loaves that can be machine sliced) or wholemeal please me occasionally.

I quite like toasted Chorleywood with butter and jam/honey/marmalade,

(click to show/hide)

when I have a hotel breakfast.

And talking of toast...

https://xkcd.com/2420/

[Mrs Pingu]

In reference to the settings thread I forgot one.

Toast that is browner than an Scots IR worker wearing factor 50 on an overcast and dreich day in Ballater.

Or in other words I like my toast to be warm bread anything else is inedible.

Arf 

Mrs P likes a barely warmed slice and I'm a fan of carbon.

Ditto for bacon. I hate crunchy bacon, I like mine warm and flaccid.

[Mrs Pingu]

The bottles of mayonnaise left on tables in pubs really rile my German pal. This is egg, she'll shout, this will make you sick! It should be in the fridge! Then she'll go and throw it in the bin and demand a fresh bottle. She's very German.

I don't think pub mayonnaise is a natural substance (and for the record, with that much oil, it's probably OK. I had some HP sauce the other day that was BBE 2018.

That reminds me of the day me & Pingu stopped mid ride at some place on the Belgian coast and they had some manky looking substance in their bottles that just made me think of man milk 

[Mr Larrington]

Crunchy BACON is a crime against pork products and can lead to lacerations and serious eye injuries when you try to cut it.  Oi!  USAnia!  NO!!!1!!eleven!!

[TimC]

All bacon is Good.

Fish (including all seafood products), on the other hand, is the spawn of the devil and should be banned.

[ian]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

[Jurek]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

This is as it should be.

[Feanor]

The bottles of mayonnaise left on tables in pubs really rile my German pal. This is egg, she'll shout, this will make you sick! It should be in the fridge! Then she'll go and throw it in the bin and demand a fresh bottle. She's very German.

I don't think pub mayonnaise is a natural substance (and for the record, with that much oil, it's probably OK. I had some HP sauce the other day that was BBE 2018.

Yes, well.
The German wife of a former cow-orker used to go to UK stupourmarkets and buy raw bacon and just eat it.

His response: Er, it's not quite the same thing you might be accustomed to...

[Mrs Pingu]

This Twitter thread started by Weetabix is funny due to all the other BigCo replies to it
https://twitter.com/weetabix/status/1359074254789165059?s=19

BEANS TRIGGER WARNING FOR FEANOR & PINGU.

[L CC]

*shudder*

[Tim Hall]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

I'm with the bloke who married Trotsky's secretary on this:

Hi,” he said, “missie, you be spilin’ good bacon.”
 
Starboard, turning the rashers quickly over, lowered the pan towards the flames.
 
“Gingerbread, I tell ye,” almost screamed the old man. “Who wants that stuff crackin’ and fiddlin’ down to nothin’.” He took the pan from her and turned the well-cooked browned rashers out. “Not half what it was,” he said. “Now you mind me,” he went on, slapping a few more rashers down on the pan, “and then when you get husbants they’ll have a good word for yer cookin’. Thick an’ soft an’ jewsy, that’s what’s good in bacon.”

[Cudzoziemiec]

This Twitter thread started by Weetabix is funny due to all the other BigCo replies to it
https://twitter.com/weetabix/status/1359074254789165059?s=19

BEANS TRIGGER WARNING FOR FEANOR & PINGU.

Looks okay to me!

[Cudzoziemiec]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

I'm with the bloke who married Trotsky's secretary on this:

Hi,” he said, “missie, you be spilin’ good bacon.”
 
Starboard, turning the rashers quickly over, lowered the pan towards the flames.
 
“Gingerbread, I tell ye,” almost screamed the old man. “Who wants that stuff crackin’ and fiddlin’ down to nothin’.” He took the pan from her and turned the well-cooked browned rashers out. “Not half what it was,” he said. “Now you mind me,” he went on, slapping a few more rashers down on the pan, “and then when you get husbants they’ll have a good word for yer cookin’. Thick an’ soft an’ jewsy, that’s what’s good in bacon.”

You seem to have access to his entire works at the click of a mouse... (including the ones I never read)

[Tim Hall]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

I'm with the bloke who married Trotsky's secretary on this:

Hi,” he said, “missie, you be spilin’ good bacon.”
 
Starboard, turning the rashers quickly over, lowered the pan towards the flames.
 
“Gingerbread, I tell ye,” almost screamed the old man. “Who wants that stuff crackin’ and fiddlin’ down to nothin’.” He took the pan from her and turned the well-cooked browned rashers out. “Not half what it was,” he said. “Now you mind me,” he went on, slapping a few more rashers down on the pan, “and then when you get husbants they’ll have a good word for yer cookin’. Thick an’ soft an’ jewsy, that’s what’s good in bacon.”

You seem to have access to his entire works at the click of a mouse... (including the ones I never read)

I had the reference tucked away in my fading BRANES but had to look up the exact text.  In The Before Times I had planned to go on a sailing holiday on the Norfolk Broads with my children, so had downloaded Coot Club, Big Six and We Didn't Mean to Go to Sea from some site or other and had shared them to the remainder of the expedition as background reading, like you do. Then The Disease came aloing, so sailing was put on hold, but I still have the downloads for easy showing off access.

[ian]

Streaky bacon cooked crisp and dipped in salad creme is so heavenly. Or romping through paddies of maple syrup in the foothills of Mount Pancake.

[Mr Larrington]

iF u LiEk CrIsPy BaCoN sO mUcH y DoNt U gO lIvE tHeRe???!!?

[Cudzoziemiec]

I am on the side of the crispy bacon. The flaccid stuff with the chewy ribbons of fat that get between your teeth. Eek! I cook it till everything is crispy and then I cook it some more.

I'm with the bloke who married Trotsky's secretary on this:

Hi,” he said, “missie, you be spilin’ good bacon.”
 
Starboard, turning the rashers quickly over, lowered the pan towards the flames.
 
“Gingerbread, I tell ye,” almost screamed the old man. “Who wants that stuff crackin’ and fiddlin’ down to nothin’.” He took the pan from her and turned the well-cooked browned rashers out. “Not half what it was,” he said. “Now you mind me,” he went on, slapping a few more rashers down on the pan, “and then when you get husbants they’ll have a good word for yer cookin’. Thick an’ soft an’ jewsy, that’s what’s good in bacon.”

You seem to have access to his entire works at the click of a mouse... (including the ones I never read)

I had the reference tucked away in my fading BRANES but had to look up the exact text.  In The Before Times I had planned to go on a sailing holiday on the Norfolk Broads with my children, so had downloaded Coot Club, Big Six and We Didn't Mean to Go to Sea from some site or other and had shared them to the remainder of the expedition as background reading, like you do. Then The Disease came aloing, so sailing was put on hold, but I still have the downloads for easy showing off access.

Sensible background reading. And there's the one where some sleuthing revolves around identifying the tracks of the less popular John Bull tyre – I can't remember which one that comes in but I'm sure it's in the Norfolk Broads. (actually I suppose it must be The Big Six?)

[bhoot]

I thought "We didn't mean to go to sea" was Pin Mill on the Orwell, so Suffolk? 

[TimC]

I thought "We didn't mean to go to sea" was Pin Mill on the Orwell, so Suffolk? 

Site of the Butt and Oyster, one of the best pubs in Suffolk!

[ian]

iF u LiEk CrIsPy BaCoN sO mUcH y DoNt U gO lIvE tHeRe???!!?

Because they don't have Salad Creme*. But they do have Miracle Whip, a mutant form of mayonnaise made with gamma rays and high-fructose corn syrup.

*I met an American colleague for lunch once, he ordered a jacket potato and, as Americans do, asked for sour cream. That was lost with all hands midway across the gulf of translation as the kitchen monkey simply emptied half a bottle of salad creme into his bifurcated spud. In a dark pub it could be sour cream but he found out, as he shovelled it into his mouth, that it wasn't and he didn't know what it was. That didn't have a good outcome. I thought it was off, he bleated..

[quixoticgeek]

Yes, well.
The German wife of a former cow-orker used to go to UK stupourmarkets and buy raw bacon and just eat it.

His response: Er, it's not quite the same thing you might be accustomed to...

I ordered a burger at a place in Utrecht, and was horrified to lift the top off and discover the bacon rasher on it was completely raw. I sent it back. The wait staff seemed utterly perplexed by why raw bacon was an issue...

J

[rafletcher]

As a child, I used to eat the rinds that my mother had cut off the bacon before cooking (yes children, bacon used to have the skin left on). But then again, I used to clean out the mixing bowl after she made a cake mix, raw eggs and all.

[Cudzoziemiec]

As a child, I used to eat the rinds that my mother had cut off the bacon before cooking (yes children, bacon used to have the skin left on). But then again, I used to clean out the mixing bowl after she made a cake mix, raw eggs and all.

It hadn't really occurred to me that there might be children who wouldn't do this...