"Maybe you'll stay in the cycle lane next time"

[Wascally Weasel]

That's why when the weather gets colder, I intend to try out some of these fake tattoo sleeves for armwarmers to see if people treat me any differently...

ISTR that Zipperhead wore some of those to last year's TLAPD

[PrettyBoyTim]

ISTR that Zipperhead wore some of those to last year's TLAPD

I probably got the idea from him. Certainly it was from someone on one of the cycling forums I frequent.

[PhilO]

I'd love to know what these drivers who think we shouldn't pull out for parked cars would suggest instead... Wait by the kerb until the parked vehicle has moved, perhaps? Or just ride over it?

Now, there's a thought..... 

[Julian]

I'd love to know what these drivers who think we shouldn't pull out for parked cars would suggest instead... Wait by the kerb until the parked vehicle has moved, perhaps? Or just ride over it?

Now, there's a thought..... 

You really want to know what they think?

Ages ago, I came up to a set of cars neatly parked in the cycle lane, checked behind, signalled and moved out.  Joe Tosser, who had come up behind far too fast and was forced to reduce his speed to a mere 45mph, took exception to this, slowed down to my speed and howled out the window at me "You're supposed to GIVE WAY!"  I couldn't think of a suitable response so I ignored him.

So now you know.  They think you should stop your bike in order to give way.  Preferably wait until you have an entirely clear road. 

[Mrs Pingu]

Indeed. A couple of months ago I was cycling along a road with 1 bog std lane and a bus lane. I rarely encounter any buses in said bus lane and usually trundle along in the middle of it until I get close to the roundabout where I have to change to the other lane as the bus lane terminates in 'left turn only' and I go straight ahead.
This particular day I was in the bus lane as usual after a junction. By what I can gather from what I heard and saw in my mirror, a car exits the junction behind me and carries on in std lane. Car behind him, containing impatient young cock decides that the car in front is not going nearly fast enough and that he will undertake him by screaming up his inside in the bus lane. Which as you will remember is where I am.
Now I have heard the gunning engine and look in my mirror to see young cock screaming towards me. We probably both take some evasive action and I either bellow or use my air zound (prolly both).
He promptly stops in the bus lane in front of me and screams "Are you fucking crazy??, you were in the middle of the road!!"

No mate, you were in the middle of the fecking bus lane where you had no right to be.

Of course, having just shat my pants I didn't actually say that, I just screamed something unintelligible (and probably unprintable) back as I cycled past. I didn't stop in case he decked me one and I am a big gurls blouse.
Did I say cock?

[andygates]

They do love trying to correct us.

Prannocks and twunts.

[Jedrik]

I guess for the full effect I should wear a black heavy metal band T-shirt, replace my helmet with a bandana and my trainers with some army boots (or something similar)...

My son, cycling around with long blond hair to his waist on top of what you described above, agrees. He said that hardly anyone will give him grief and those that try stop instantly once he gives them a hard stare.

[nuttycyclist]

I'd love to know what these drivers who think we shouldn't pull out for parked cars would suggest instead... Wait by the kerb until the parked vehicle has moved, perhaps? Or just ride over it?

Now, there's a thought..... 

You really want to know what they think?

Ages ago, I came up to a set of cars neatly parked in the cycle lane, checked behind, signalled and moved out.  Joe Tosser, who had come up behind far too fast and was forced to reduce his speed to a mere 45mph, took exception to this, slowed down to my speed and howled out the window at me "You're supposed to GIVE WAY!"  I couldn't think of a suitable response so I ignored him.

So now you know.  They think you should stop your bike in order to give way.  Preferably wait until you have an entirely clear road. 

Ignoring the 45mph blah blah blah, the drivers are actually correct.  In order to pass the obstruction the cyclist has to change lanes, from cycle lane to carriageway, and so yes they do have to give way.  It is the same as when driving on the motorway you can't just change out a lane but are supposed to judge the traffic speed so that you can merge out into a space without impacting on the existing lane users.

This is, yet another, reason why cycle lanes are a bad thing. 

If the cycle lane did not exist then the cyclist can move out around the obstruction without changing lanes.

[mattc]

It is the same as when driving on the motorway you can't just change out a lane but are supposed to judge the traffic speed so that you can merge out into a space without impacting on the existing lane users.

Where in the HC does it say:
"If someone tries moving into YOUR lane when you don't want them to, ram them into an adjacent taxi/HGV or bridge support." ?

This is, yet another, reason why cycle lanes are a bad thing. 

If the cycle lane did not exist then the cyclist can move out around the obstruction without changing lanes.

Agreed.

[bobajobrob]

Which is why big 'n' ugly imprimis works so well.  If you're intimidating up front, the motorist will keep their yap shut when "correcting" you, for fear that you're some Mad Max crazy person. 

That's why when the weather gets colder, I intend to try out some of these fake tattoo sleeves for armwarmers to see if people treat me any differently...

I find that wearing 3/4 length shorts (or longs) in the winter does it quite well. It feels great too. Also, I fully intend to try sandals.

[teethgrinder]

Ignoring the 45mph blah blah blah, the drivers are actually correct.  In order to pass the obstruction the cyclist has to change lanes, from cycle lane to carriageway, and so yes they do have to give way.  It is the same as when driving on the motorway you can't just change out a lane but are supposed to judge the traffic speed so that you can merge out into a space without impacting on the existing lane users.

I've never been too sure about priority when exiting a cycle lane, whether at the end of the lane, or to avoid an obstacle.
I agree with you that you are changing into a different lane when you are avoiding an obstacle, so don't have priority. I move out early when I can do so safely. If I don't trust the cycle lane (I'm expectung pot holes, parked cars etc at regular intervals) I don't go into the cycle lane, unless it is wide enough for me to avoid whatever is there.
But what about when the cycle lane just ends and you are on the road again? I mean those cycle lanes which are on the road, not the pavement. I don't do pavement cycling, even when it's legalised by paintwork.
Cycle lanes don't seem to have any standard set of rules, unlike roads. Nobody seems to know exactly how to use them and they are just put in as an afterthought.

[ian]

I've been working in my super-secret undersea laboratory on concentrating the sarcastic what-the-fuck gesture into super-dense particles of disdain. Eventually, I've have enough to build some kind of handlebar mounted particle cannon that can wither an errant motorist's soul and his surrounding tin can to dust in a moment, leaving nothing other than a vague scent of pine air freshener.

It would have been useful today. On the way into London, coming down past Peckham Rye, a van overtook me. Perfectly, no problem. But the silly moo in the Golf (tinted windows and all the trimmings, natch) following him just couldn't wait, so she hurled herself around the traffic island in an attempt to pass us both. Misjudged, so oncoming traffic meant she met the van when she tried to pull in. So they both halt and start the mutual moronic motorist stand-off. I tootle by with a cheery, if sodden, good morning. For I know, they're still there now. It's Peckham, after all.

On the way home, dropping down through the hellish post-apocalyptic hinterlands of South Bermondsey toward the Old Kent Road, a speeding lorry decided the clip the bend in the road just where I was about to be. Tyres pretty much brushed the pavement. Fortunately a judicious brake and hop onto the pavement took me out of harm's way. Lorry didn't have any identification and was, as far as I could tell, (barely) under the control of one of the lower orders of primate. Reassuringly, it was carrying one of those little Mitsubishi (?) vans on the open back that appeared to have been secured with nothing more than household string. Given the way it was wobbling about, discretion took valour to one side and gave it a good talking to, and off into the distance he went before I could make any gestures grand enough to demonstrate my true operatic levels of annoyance. Only then did I remember that I could at least have taken his number plate details and Fedexed him an unstable nuclear weapon labelled 'shake well'.

[GruB]

The 4x4 driver pulled along side me, his passenger had wound down the window and he shouts "When will you learn to use the cycle path?"
I reply - clearly and loudly "When will you learn not to be so fucking ignorant?" ( I thought he would understand it better if I used profanity ).
He suggests I pull over.
I do.
Before he even has a chance to do or say anything I identify myself and then let rip into road rules and cycle paths and drivers failing to understand cyclist's needs and that many of the cyclists he may see on a daily basis are more than likely cops from HQ.

Sometimes attack is the best form of defence.

I then pause and ask if he would like to add anything?

He meekly says "I didn't know that".

Der !!

[Regulator]

The 4x4 driver pulled along side me, his passenger had wound down the window and he shouts "When will you learn to use the cycle path?"
I reply - clearly and loudly "When will you learn not to be so fucking ignorant?" ( I thought he would understand it better if I used profanity ).
He suggests I pull over.
I do.
Before he even has a chance to do or say anything I identify myself and then let rip into road rules and cycle paths and drivers failing to understand cyclist's needs and that many of the cyclists he may see on a daily basis are more than likely cops from HQ.

Sometimes attack is the best form of defence.

I then pause and ask if he would like to add anything?

He meekly says "I didn't know that".

Der !!

Yeah... but you didn't nick the bugger, did you?  Traitor!







What's the use of having power if you don't abuse it - in the greater good, of course...

[Jacomus]

I've been working in my super-secret undersea laboratory on concentrating the sarcastic what-the-fuck gesture into super-dense particles of disdain. Eventually, I've have enough to build some kind of handlebar mounted particle cannon that can wither an errant motorist's soul and his surrounding tin can to dust in a moment, leaving nothing other than a vague scent of pine air freshener.

It would have been useful today. On the way into London, coming down past Peckham Rye, a van overtook me. Perfectly, no problem. But the silly moo in the Golf (tinted windows and all the trimmings, natch) following him just couldn't wait, so she hurled herself around the traffic island in an attempt to pass us both. Misjudged, so oncoming traffic meant she met the van when she tried to pull in. So they both halt and start the mutual moronic motorist stand-off. I tootle by with a cheery, if sodden, good morning. For I know, they're still there now. It's Peckham, after all.
On the way home, dropping down through the hellish post-apocalyptic hinterlands of South Bermondsey toward the Old Kent Road, a speeding lorry decided the clip the bend in the road just where I was about to be. Tyres pretty much brushed the pavement. Fortunately a judicious brake and hop onto the pavement took me out of harm's way. Lorry didn't have any identification and was, as far as I could tell, (barely) under the control of one of the lower orders of primate. Reassuringly, it was carrying one of those little Mitsubishi (?) vans on the open back that appeared to have been secured with nothing more than household string. Given the way it was wobbling about, discretion took valour to one side and gave it a good talking to, and off into the distance he went before I could make any gestures grand enough to demonstrate my true operatic levels of annoyance. Only then did I remember that I could at least have taken his number plate details and Fedexed him an unstable nuclear weapon labelled 'shake well'.

I seriously doubt that... One of them would have been shot before 5 minutes elapsed. It's Peckham, after all.  

[GruB]

The 4x4 driver pulled along side me, his passenger had wound down the window and he shouts "When will you learn to use the cycle path?"
I reply - clearly and loudly "When will you learn not to be so fucking ignorant?" ( I thought he would understand it better if I used profanity ).
He suggests I pull over.
I do.
Before he even has a chance to do or say anything I identify myself and then let rip into road rules and cycle paths and drivers failing to understand cyclist's needs and that many of the cyclists he may see on a daily basis are more than likely cops from HQ.

Sometimes attack is the best form of defence.

I then pause and ask if he would like to add anything?

He meekly says "I didn't know that".

Der !!

Yeah... but you didn't nick the bugger, did you?  Traitor!







What's the use of having power if you don't abuse it - in the greater good, of course...

I can't arrest him for being a twit.  If we could, half the country would be arrested.

[Regulator]

The 4x4 driver pulled along side me, his passenger had wound down the window and he shouts "When will you learn to use the cycle path?"
I reply - clearly and loudly "When will you learn not to be so fucking ignorant?" ( I thought he would understand it better if I used profanity ).
He suggests I pull over.
I do.
Before he even has a chance to do or say anything I identify myself and then let rip into road rules and cycle paths and drivers failing to understand cyclist's needs and that many of the cyclists he may see on a daily basis are more than likely cops from HQ.

Sometimes attack is the best form of defence.

I then pause and ask if he would like to add anything?

He meekly says "I didn't know that".

Der !!

Yeah... but you didn't nick the bugger, did you?  Traitor!







What's the use of having power if you don't abuse it - in the greater good, of course...

I can't arrest him for being a twit.  If we could, half the country would be arrested.

That is so true in Wiltshire.... 

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

I can't arrest him for being a twit.  If we could, half the country would be arrested.

I could give you a list that would keep you going well into retirement.

[Jacomus]

A delightful young man got a little upset with me this morning.

He recognised that I had the motor function of a small amoeba, and as such was not in control of my bicycle. That I was accidentally misplaced, deep into his lane, and that the decent thing to do would be to use his vehicle to gently nudge me back into the gutter, where all good amoeba should be.

He got very upset when the amoeba started screaming "What the f*ck are you doing!" through his open window, and shocked he gave the amoeba more room and completed his original move - which was to turn down Lugard Road, after overtaking pushing me out of the way at 22mph where the bus is in that picture. (Traveling East to West)

 I was having a fairly tough time commuting in, feeling the wear and tear from last nights exertions, and he sapped my enthusiasm for the rest of the ride.

[Regulator]

A delightful young man got a little upset with me this morning.

He recognised that I had the motor function of a small amoeba, and as such was not in control of my bicycle. That I was accidentally misplaced, deep into his lane, and that the decent thing to do would be to use his vehicle to gently nudge me back into the gutter, where all good amoeba should be.

He got very upset when the amoeba started screaming "What the f*ck are you doing!" through his open window, and shocked he gave the amoeba more room and completed his original move - which was to turn down Lugard Road, after overtaking pushing me out of the way at 22mph where the bus is in that picture. (Traveling East to West)

 I was having a fairly tough time commuting in, feeling the wear and tear from last nights exertions, and he sapped my enthusiasm for the rest of the ride.

Sorry to hear about this....

Did you get his registration?  If so, report it - you have been the victim of a criminal offence.

I know the police may not do anything, but the more that we report these sorts of incidents, then the easier it will be to bring pressure on the police to act against poor drivers.  Otherwise, they'll simply be able to say that there 'isn't a probelm as no-one has reported any incidents'.

[Jacomus]

A delightful young man got a little upset with me this morning.

He recognised that I had the motor function of a small amoeba, and as such was not in control of my bicycle. That I was accidentally misplaced, deep into his lane, and that the decent thing to do would be to use his vehicle to gently nudge me back into the gutter, where all good amoeba should be.

He got very upset when the amoeba started screaming "What the f*ck are you doing!" through his open window, and shocked he gave the amoeba more room and completed his original move - which was to turn down Lugard Road, after overtaking pushing me out of the way at 22mph where the bus is in that picture. (Traveling East to West)

 I was having a fairly tough time commuting in, feeling the wear and tear from last nights exertions, and he sapped my enthusiasm for the rest of the ride.

Sorry to hear about this....

Did you get his registration?  If so, report it - you have been the victim of a criminal offence.

I know the police may not do anything, but the more that we report these sorts of incidents, then the easier it will be to bring pressure on the police to act against poor drivers.  Otherwise, they'll simply be able to say that there 'isn't a probelm as no-one has reported any incidents'.

I know, I nearly 999'ed it as for a minute it looked as if he was going to come after me. Then he tore off. If I had got his plate, I would have phoned the Police right away. He was dangerous, and I'm pretty sure he was intoxicated with something.

It is a bit useless calling in a black guy in a black Vauhall Corsa in Peckham.

[Phil]

Sorry to hear that Jacomus.  Malicious incidents like that make me much more angry than careless motorist error.  Andy put it better than me upthread. 

They do love trying to correct us.

Prannocks and twunts.

[Mr Larrington]

Yeah... but you didn't nick the bugger, did you?  Traitor!







What's the use of having power if you don't abuse it - in the greater good, of course...

He didn't even give him a good walloping with the holly and then claim he slipped on the stairs

[clarion]

Couldn't you have nicked him for abusive behaviour or some such?  I know lots of folk who've been beaten up arrested for less...

[TheLurker]

He didn't even give him a good walloping with the holly and then claim he slipped on the stairs

Nah. He did summat far, far worse.  He messed with (what passes for) his mind.