Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread (Read 438552 times)

PeteB99 · « **Reply #350 on:** 03 May, 2017, 04:01:19 pm »

Many moons ago when I was about 10 yrs old my habit was to spend Saturday morning at the local swimming baths. One day I cycled down, had a couple of hours swimming with some friends and then followed them to the bus stop and got the bus home

It was only when my brother asked where my bike was that I realised.

Kim · « **Reply #351 on:** 03 May, 2017, 04:33:25 pm »

That reminds me, the Country Girl sign has been removed by some men in hi-vis with a flatbed lorry. Commissioned by Basil to deliver it to Waleslandshire?

ElyDave · « **Reply #352 on:** 03 May, 2017, 06:42:06 pm »

My wife remains convinced that the hire car she left at Brum airport many moons ago changed colour while she was in Italy.

Kim · « **Reply #353 on:** 03 May, 2017, 06:50:14 pm »

Quote from: ElyDave on 03 May, 2017, 06:42:06 pm

My wife remains convinced that the hire car she left at Brum airport many moons ago changed colour while she was in Italy.

Normal for Birmingham.

andrewc · « **Reply #354 on:** 03 May, 2017, 06:52:39 pm »

I've just sent a text message meant for one friend to another friend. Luckily it was nothing rude !

clarion · « **Reply #355 on:** 04 May, 2017, 11:18:56 am »

Quote from: Kim on 03 May, 2017, 04:33:25 pm

That reminds me, the Country Girl sign has been removed by some men in hi-vis with a flatbed lorry. Commissioned by Basil to deliver it to Waleslandshire?

The Country Girl rusticated at last?

Legs · « **Reply #356 on:** 04 May, 2017, 02:16:48 pm »

Quote from: PeteB99 on 03 May, 2017, 04:01:19 pm

Many moons ago when I was about 10 yrs old my habit was to spend Saturday morning at the local swimming baths. One day I cycled down, had a couple of hours swimming with some friends and then followed them to the bus stop and got the bus home

It was only when my brother asked where my bike was that I realised.

My prep school headmaster once did the 'driving into town and walking back home' thing, but followed it up the following morning with the panicked 'OMG Anne, our car's been stolen!' and phone call to the friendly constabulary.

Roger was lovely but he was a completely sieve-brained div.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #357 on:** 04 May, 2017, 02:35:31 pm »

Quote from: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:40:59 pm

Quote from: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 12:17:24 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!

woollypigs · « **Reply #358 on:** 04 May, 2017, 02:38:02 pm »

But have you ever mixed up your AC with your DC?

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #359 on:** 04 May, 2017, 02:39:03 pm »

Quote from: Wowbagger on 04 May, 2017, 02:35:31 pm

Quote from: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:40:59 pm
Quote from: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 12:17:24 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!

Have you ever put the electrons in the wrong way up?

clarion · « **Reply #360 on:** 04 May, 2017, 02:45:20 pm »

Quote from: Wowbagger on 04 May, 2017, 02:35:31 pm

Quote from: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:40:59 pm
Quote from: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 12:17:24 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!

Well, that would reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, so maybe you need to top up on neutrons. There's be no additional charge.

Kim · « **Reply #361 on:** 04 May, 2017, 03:24:59 pm »

Quote from: clarion on 04 May, 2017, 02:45:20 pm

Quote from: Wowbagger on 04 May, 2017, 02:35:31 pm
Quote from: clarion on 27 April, 2017, 02:40:59 pm
Quote from: CAMRAMan on 27 April, 2017, 12:17:24 pm
Unleaded in a diesel car. Enough said!
Ouch!

I've never quite done that (though I have been close)

Do you know, I have yet to put protons into my electric car!
Well, that would reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, so maybe you need to top up on neutrons. There's be no additional charge.

I don't think you can do that without a special screwdriver, thobut.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #362 on:** 04 May, 2017, 03:28:47 pm »

If you take your petrol or diesel car to the southern hemisphere, remember that the fuel will flow out of the tank the other way. This can cause problems crossing the equator.

ElyDave · « **Reply #363 on:** 04 May, 2017, 05:40:46 pm »

which direction does it go AT the equator?

Kim · « **Reply #364 on:** 04 May, 2017, 06:22:52 pm »

It doesn't. You have to cross the equator on momentum and the fuel that's already in the manifold. This can lead to embarrassment if done at an oblique angle.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #365 on:** 04 May, 2017, 07:25:26 pm »

This is why it's so much harder to go south to north; you've got to overcome gravity as well.

ElyDave · « **Reply #366 on:** 04 May, 2017, 09:45:07 pm »

That explains why the flight up to Aberdeen is five minutes longer than on the way back

Vince · « **Reply #367 on:** 04 May, 2017, 09:48:37 pm »

I posted a link to an article about portable vocal booths to a message group for an open gardens weekend where I had intended it to go to Boy Wunja.

citoyen · « **Reply #368 on:** 06 May, 2017, 02:27:23 pm »

Got a letter from the Kent Police Driver Diversion Team this morning. I had my picture taken the other night while doing 38 in a 30 zone. It's a fair cop.

I'm annoyed with myself because I'm normally very good at abiding by the speed limit - no, seriously. I believe in speed limits and respect them.

All I can offer in my defence is that it was 1.15am on an empty dual carriageway. I'd been out to pick up my son and his mate from Canterbury West station but they had dozed off on the train and missed their stop so I'd had to drive on to Ramsgate to rescue them. I was tired and annoyed and let that cloud my better judgment.

FFS.

Oh well, I get to go on a speed awareness course, which should be fun.

clarion · « **Reply #369 on:** 08 May, 2017, 11:37:18 am »

Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets!

citoyen · « **Reply #370 on:** 08 May, 2017, 01:42:28 pm »

Quote from: clarion on 08 May, 2017, 11:37:18 am

Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets!

I'm seriously considering taking the points and fine rather than put myself through what I expect to be an ordeal.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #371 on:** 08 May, 2017, 02:01:00 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 08 May, 2017, 01:42:28 pm

Quote from: clarion on 08 May, 2017, 11:37:18 am
Hope you help in the education of your fellow muppets!

I'm seriously considering taking the points and fine rather than put myself through what I expect to be an ordeal.

MrsC attended said course, due to circumstances nearly identical to yours.
It wasn't that much of an ideal and the police running it kept things relatively light hearted. I suspect for "speed fines are just a tax on honest motorists" brigade it wasn't so lighthearted.

clarion · « **Reply #372 on:** 08 May, 2017, 02:32:31 pm »

I found mine rather interesting, and learned a lot.

citoyen · « **Reply #373 on:** 08 May, 2017, 02:35:41 pm »

Quote from: mrcharly-YHT on 08 May, 2017, 02:01:00 pm

I suspect for "speed fines are just a tax on honest motorists" brigade it wasn't so lighthearted.

Being stuck in a room with such people is what I dread most. My opinion is perhaps somewhat clouded by having done jury service a few years ago - I'm imagining a similarly dispiriting kind of experience to that. But maybe I'm wrong...

We'll see!

Quisling · « **Reply #374 on:** 08 May, 2017, 02:54:16 pm »

Given that fines have just gone up you might consider the naughty driver course good value. Instead of a fixed penalty you can now potentially face a fine of 50% of your (gross) weekly salary for a Band C offence
https://www.saga.co.uk/magazine/motoring/cars/using/the-uks-new-speeding-fines-explained.
I'm not sure how they'll deduce your weekly salary. Will you be asked for your last P60 or current contract of employment, last payslip? That will work in favour of company directors who pay themselves £11500 a year tax free salary and then pay the rest in dividends. Even so, that's still potentially a £110 fine for a Band C offence.

Relevant weekly income is defined here https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/explanatory-material/item/fines-and-financial-orders/approach-to-the-assessment-of-fines-2/3-definition-of-relevant-weekly-income/