The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[T42]

The wife (slightly under) cooked a delicious roast aubergine and tomatoe thing for dinner last night

Was rather spicy. I commented on this and everyone agreed. Confusing looks from the wife as she hadn't added anything spicy

Turns out lidl do tinned toms with chilli and garlic which muggins had picked up by mistake

Recipe needed tabbies?

[rafletcher]

Out for a ride on the summer soot bike, that had spent the winter on the turbo. Wouldn’t go into the 11 sprocket.  Hmmm, let’s see if it’ll go into the 34. Yep, now let’s try one more….  cue chain deposited twixt cassette and hub, chewing a bit off the OD of the hub  . Now I’m home (I was able to extricate the chain with the aid of a plastic bag glove) I’ll adjust that mech again. And set the bloody stops properly.

ETA and when I checked the other bike, guess what, stops not set 

[Mrs Pingu]

Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 

[PaulF]

Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 

On the verge?

[ElyDave]

My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs

[Mr Larrington]

Since I'm in Babbage-Engine-jibbling mode, I decided to swap my cruddy old Kensington trackball wot is attached to the laptop¹ for the barely-run-in Logitech one I robbed off of Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) the other day month.  Oh.  The pointer moves like a snail on Mogadon.  Install pukka Logitech drivers, increase pointer speed and oh… wait!  No ring of scrolly goodness surrounding the ball.  Back in the cupboard you go.  Next to your albino twin, who has a PS2 connector so is even less useful.

Bah!

1: The trackpad on said machine being a Jbex of Stan.

[Kim]

My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs

I did that.  Regent's Canal.  Opted for the nettles rather than the water.  Wasn't sure how to extricate myself without further stings, at which point a passer-by who'd seen me go down and fail to get up came running and helpfully untied my shoe.

I've managed to avoid nettle issues during hedge inspections, but I have had my legs give out and end up with an arse covered in grit.  Which sold me on the idea of the shewee.

[Mrs Pingu]

Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

[Kim]

Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.

[Beardy]

Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.

Thats something is boys learn at a very early age 

[Pingu]

Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.

Thats something is boys should learn at a very early age 

[Basil]

Does the Shewee make it easier not to get wee on your shoes?

Very much so.  The 'extreme' version comes with an extension pipe for further shoe/clothing clearance, but I've never needed it.

You do need to remember not to pee into foliage that's uphill or upwind of whatever you're standing on thobut.

This extension thingy.  Does it look realistic at all?
Asking for a friend.   

[Kim]

Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside the electric fan that lives in our bedroom.  A relatively posh model with an electronically controlled DC motor that goes down to almost-silent, IR remote control that's frustratingly directional, silly BLUE LEDs, etc.

I was so amazed discover the control board connected to the fan driver board by a 4-pin cable marked '0V' '5V' 'TX' and 'RX' that I momentarily forgot Oscilloscope 101.  A bang and a flash later, and I'm sitting in a dark room with the fire alarm beeping and barakta asking if that was supposed to happen.   

With power restored, I resignedly work my way along the trail of blown fuses to the inevitable dead semiconductor.  Astoundingly, this turned out to be a pair of M7 diodes, and not some unobtanium MOSFET or microcontroller.  Even more astoundingly, I have a 50 of the things in a selection box of Chinesium diodes I purchased a couple of years ago, so was able to replace them.  Powering up the controller board with everything else unplugged did not result in further light-emitting fuses or the release of magic smoke.  For good measure I checked that the FULL BRIDGE RECTIFIER was functioning properly by sticking my sweaty finger across the reservoir capacitor.   

Once I'd regained sensation in my hand, I confirmed everything now worked, and spent some quality time reverse-engineering the comms (with the benefit of an isolated power supply).  The fan is now reassembled, with all screws accounted for, and programming an ESP to man-in-the-middle the communications is now left as a project for Future Kim, when normal karma and divvery levels have been restored.

[quixoticgeek]

Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside the electric fan that lives in our bedroom.  A relatively posh model with an electronically controlled DC motor that goes down to almost-silent, IR remote control that's frustratingly directional, silly BLUE LEDs, etc.

I was so amazed discover the control board connected to the fan driver board by a 4-pin cable marked '0V' '5V' 'TX' and 'RX' that I momentarily forgot Oscilloscope 101.  A bang and a flash later, and I'm sitting in a dark room with the fire alarm beeping and barakta asking if that was supposed to happen.   

With power restored, I resignedly work my way along the trail of blown fuses to the inevitable dead semiconductor.  Astoundingly, this turned out to be a pair of M7 diodes, and not some unobtanium MOSFET or microcontroller.  Even more astoundingly, I have a 50 of the things in a selection box of Chinesium diodes I purchased a couple of years ago, so was able to replace them.  Powering up the controller board with everything else unplugged did not result in further light-emitting fuses or the release of magic smoke.  For good measure I checked that the FULL BRIDGE RECTIFIER was functioning properly by sticking my sweaty finger across the reservoir capacitor.   

Once I'd regained sensation in my hand, I confirmed everything now worked, and spent some quality time reverse-engineering the comms (with the benefit of an isolated power supply).  The fan is now reassembled, with all screws accounted for, and programming an ESP to man-in-the-middle the communications is now left as a project for Future Kim, when normal karma and divvery levels have been restored.

Shocking...

J

[T42]

Today's act of divvery was a modern classic.  I was poking around inside...

Sympathies.  I once got 240v up one arm, down the other and through the headphones connected to the uninsulated probes I was poking round the volume control of a record player with in search of the audio signal. The machine-gun death-rattle of the phones was almost as shocking as the juice.

[CommuteTooFar]

I bought myself a Fatbit 5.  I know the straps that come with it would fail after a short time.  So I bought a compatible leather strap.  I looked at the attachment and though like Fatbit 3 not the better Fatbit 4 connection. So I inserted a screwdriver in the hole as I did with Fatbit 3 and twisted.  A click and the  strap detached. Repeated the other side click.  Then I tried the new strap and it would not engage.  Then I noticed small pieces of plastic on my desk.  The click was the thin latches snapping off. Oops.

I attached the leather straps with Cyanoacrylate glue. So  it looks fine.

[Canardly]

Dropped my grease gun on to the back garden turf whilst cleaning my tourer and off snapped the plastic barrel. Dammit.

[Mrs Pingu]

Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 

Did it again today, right up the back of one thigh this time 
It didn't even look like a nettle!

[neilrj]

Went for an off road pee. Thinking to myself "be careful of the nettles, be careful of the nettles"
Where did I get a nettle sting?
 

Did it again today, right up the back of one thigh this time 
It didn't even look like a nettle!

Those stealth nettles hurt far more too.

[Kim]

See, at least when you fail to use a shewee correctly (there's a knack, and you will have the equivalent of a clipless moment at some point shortly after getting the hang of it), you just get piss down your leg.  If you're lucky, you'll be wearing sandals at the time, which will improve their smell.  If you're really lucky, it will also be raining.

[quixoticgeek]

See, at least when you fail to use a shewee correctly (there's a knack, and you will have the equivalent of a clipless moment at some point shortly after getting the hang of it), you just get piss down your leg.  If you're lucky, you'll be wearing sandals at the time, which will improve their smell.  If you're really lucky, it will also be raining.

I stopped using a shewee after I had a misalignment problem when It was so cold all my skin was numb. Distinctly suboptimal.

J

[mrcharly-YHT]

Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.

[Feanor]

Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.

You could have just left that feed cable at the fitting, and run a second cable from the fitting down to the switch...

[mrcharly-YHT]

Wiring in a light for the kiln room.

Thread cable all around the barn - this entails feeding it behind beams (dirty, covered in cobwebs). About 15m of cable.

Feed around, look at amount on ceiling of kiln room, congratulate myself on providing enough slack that it will reach light fitting with some to spare. Fasten in place with cable clips.

Wake up the next morning realising that the cable needs to reach the light switch, halfway down the wall.

Spend first part of the morning yanking cable out of cable clips and threading more around.

You could have just left that feed cable at the fitting, and run a second cable from the fitting down to the switch...

That would have resulted in some wires of the wrong colour, wouldn't it? (assuming you are suggesting I just run live to the switch and back)?

If I had some red sleeving I would have been tempted to do that, but I don't.

[Feanor]

Yes, that's what I mean.

It's standard practice to bring the supply in to the ceiling rose (both L and N on brn and blue), and then on out to the next fitting.
Then a single drop-cable down to the switch (perm L going down on brn, sw. L coming back up on blue, sleeved with brown.)
There is no N at the switch.

Red/blk is depreciated and really should not be used in new work.
Having said that, I have a reel of 3+earth in old colours, and it was bloody expensive when I bought it, so I'm not over puritanical about using old colours! I used it in my recent smoke alarm installation, with red as L, blue as N, and yellow as Interlink.
I have it on good authority that electrons are colour-blind.

I've seen plenty of installations where the brown sleeving is missing. I'm not advising leaving it out, but I'd not be super upset over it.