Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 374659 times)

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1850 on: 23 January, 2019, 12:08:41 am »
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1851 on: 23 January, 2019, 12:25:41 am »
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.

<The Laundry Files*> Must be an older operating system if it needs a couple of pints of goat claret.  ;) </The Laundry Files>


* Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1852 on: 23 January, 2019, 10:13:43 am »
Satanic ritual, or normal for Weatherspoons?

Metaphor for Brexit, I'd say, given Tim "Feck Drink Arse Brexit" Martin's enthusiasm for the wretched thing, which now includes spamming random households with his poxy magazine.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1853 on: 23 January, 2019, 10:49:35 am »
New menu item, I suspect.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1854 on: 24 January, 2019, 05:56:10 pm »
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17382700.haydon-wick-stone-henge-rediscovered-and-its-partly-thanks-to-pokemon-go-players/

20 years old!  We didn't even have reality TV or Facebook back then.  Just imagine how hard everyday life must have been for the builders.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Beardy

  • Shedist
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1857 on: 26 January, 2019, 05:00:06 pm »
Surprisingly not.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1858 on: 26 January, 2019, 05:26:31 pm »
The better spoof/satirical news sites are usually a little more subtle* than the stories posted here or in the Floridian/weird world news thread, though.  :demon:


* To the point that one or two forumites have been caught out in the past and have shared stories here which they thought were gen. ;D
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1859 on: 01 February, 2019, 07:27:30 pm »

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1860 on: 03 February, 2019, 06:55:01 pm »
Bemmy Asdals no plastic bag nightmare!
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/asda-superstore-nightmare-runs-completely-2503240
Quote
Fruit and veg manager Craig, said: "It's not just shopping bags, it's all consumables which include veg bags, flour bags, we even get our pizza bases from the same company.

"It's been a nightmare really, and I don't really know why it has happened.

"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Lack of plastic bags prevents saving plastics. Hmmm...
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1861 on: 03 February, 2019, 07:08:14 pm »
Quote
"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Wouldn't be problem in the Yeovil Asda. Yesterday they had no loose tomatoes and they usually have only one variety of loose apples. All the others are pre-packed.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1862 on: 06 February, 2019, 02:13:31 pm »
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1863 on: 09 February, 2019, 09:54:27 pm »
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1864 on: 10 February, 2019, 06:26:49 am »
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1865 on: 10 February, 2019, 02:13:14 pm »
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?

I think it counts for the purposes of drink-driving or operating a mobile phone.


That photo caption deserves extra BONG-not-news merit:  "There is traffic on the M32 this afternoon".

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1866 on: 10 February, 2019, 02:23:07 pm »
I was torn between posting it here or in BONG, but plumped for here on the grounds of its reporting.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1867 on: 12 February, 2019, 09:22:22 am »
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700
:facepalm:
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1868 on: 12 February, 2019, 12:23:28 pm »
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700
:facepalm:

RFOL  ;D ;D ;D
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1870 on: 15 February, 2019, 07:44:40 am »
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1871 on: 15 February, 2019, 09:05:26 am »
So, only two puppies in the box.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1872 on: 15 February, 2019, 09:22:26 am »
So, only two puppies in the box.

And a pussy of course.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1873 on: 15 February, 2019, 10:52:57 am »
Your parcel was delivered by the courier at.............
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.