Author Topic: You know you're middle aged when  (Read 186159 times)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #450 on: 25 November, 2017, 02:28:35 pm »
You spend an hour looking for a camera then remember you gave it away six months ago.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #451 on: 25 November, 2017, 05:04:18 pm »
You forget a PIN you have been using several times a week for over 36 years and have to ring the bank (oh and wasn't that _fun_?) to get it unlocked.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #452 on: 26 November, 2017, 09:36:30 am »
I usually do that on a Sunday. Our bank closes from Sat. lunchtime until Tuesday.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #453 on: 05 December, 2017, 07:56:57 pm »
Quote
Here was he, as young as ever; envying young people their summer time and the rest of it and more than suspecting that shift in the whole pyramidal accumulation which in his youth had seemed immovable.
So middle aged is when you're "as young as ever" but nevertheless can envy young people, and realize that things ain't what they used to be. (He's in his early 50s and it's about 1925.)
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #454 on: 05 December, 2017, 08:13:00 pm »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #455 on: 05 December, 2017, 11:13:17 pm »
Regarding the old Warlord comics:
I seem to remember getting those whilst I was in mid-primary school ( mid-'70s ), on account of a friend being from an RAF family, and he was quite into that kind of stuffs.

I remember joining up to the 'club', and getting a little plastic wallet through the post with a top-secret membership card and a code-sheet.
Every week, the comic had a page from the HQ, from the Top Dude who went by the name of Lord Peter Flint, IIRC.
There was always a secret message to be decoded, and it helpfully told you whether it was encoded in 'Letter Code 1', 'Letter Code 2', 'Number Code 1', or Number Code 2'.

Can't remember what any of the messages were, tho!
The word Peter means Stone.

I think that was the one you had to decode to join the club. That would have been 1973/4.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #456 on: 05 December, 2017, 11:18:32 pm »
Oh, and to answer the question: You're training a nearly-solicitor who wasn't born when the Berlin Wall came down.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #457 on: 06 December, 2017, 07:13:04 am »
Regarding the old Warlord comics:
I seem to remember getting those whilst I was in mid-primary school ( mid-'70s ), on account of a friend being from an RAF family, and he was quite into that kind of stuffs.

I remember joining up to the 'club', and getting a little plastic wallet through the post with a top-secret membership card and a code-sheet.
Every week, the comic had a page from the HQ, from the Top Dude who went by the name of Lord Peter Flint, IIRC.
There was always a secret message to be decoded, and it helpfully told you whether it was encoded in 'Letter Code 1', 'Letter Code 2', 'Number Code 1', or Number Code 2'.

Can't remember what any of the messages were, tho!
The word Peter means Stone.

I think that was the one you had to decode to join the club. That would have been 1973/4.

The I-Spy Club anyone? I seem to remember OHUD NUTINGO was the coded version of "Good Hunting"

Guy

  • Retired
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #458 on: 06 December, 2017, 08:19:59 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!


*early 30s :o
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #459 on: 06 December, 2017, 10:33:15 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!

*early 30s :o

I was talking to a young female colleague at an office party a while ago, feeling flattered by her enthusiasm for my company even though I had no intention of taking advantage of her good nature...

Started to feel a bit weird when I realised she was only a few years older than my son.

Never mind leaving school, I graduated from uni before she was born.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #460 on: 06 December, 2017, 11:49:11 am »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

That leaves me in limbo (or would if the Vatican hadn't abolished it).

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #461 on: 06 December, 2017, 05:36:49 pm »
Like the Finn in one of William Gibson's novels telling some young whippersnapper "I've got shoes older than you", it occurred to me in the Gulag that I was wearing a jumper older than some of my fellow zeks.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #462 on: 06 December, 2017, 05:48:11 pm »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

Ten years older than the person answering, shirley?

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #463 on: 06 December, 2017, 05:55:03 pm »
When you remember the colleague taking maternity leave and the cause of said maternity leave is now also a colleague.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

fuzzy

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #464 on: 07 December, 2017, 10:30:16 am »
When you get your enema by post.....

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #465 on: 07 December, 2017, 10:32:39 am »
When you remember one of your colleagues going on maternity leave and are now working with the result.

When you remember the colleague taking maternity leave and the cause of said maternity leave is now also a colleague.


I'll just leave that there ...
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #466 on: 07 December, 2017, 10:36:53 am »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

35-58, apparently. :'(

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/7458147/Middle-age-begins-at-35-and-ends-at-58.html

ian

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #467 on: 07 December, 2017, 10:43:01 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!

*early 30s :o

I was talking to a young female colleague at an office party a while ago, feeling flattered by her enthusiasm for my company even though I had no intention of taking advantage of her good nature...

Started to feel a bit weird when I realised she was only a few years older than my son.

Never mind leaving school, I graduated from uni before she was born.

Heh, this happened to me not so long ago (sales conference, your honour). Kiss out of nowhere and a hand where! Right there, that's where! I'd like to say my first feeling was lust but after a geological era of marriage it was mostly abject terror. I've no real idea what to do with a woman who was taking her tentative steps into her twenties. There's probably a manual for these newer models but I never read the things (it's true, he never did, says my wife). While I confess to being flattered (trust me it doesn't happen often), rather than a night of torrid adultery in a hotel bed, I moved her hand somewhere more sensible and made some excuses (read babble). I still work with her and fortunately what happens at sales conferences stays at sales conferences.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #468 on: 07 December, 2017, 01:06:53 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....
How does that work?

Do you have to back up to the letter box?
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #469 on: 07 December, 2017, 01:15:47 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....

Our postie is very obliging and will put things round the back if we're out, but I doubt that he'd do it in that way  for us.  :demon:

essexian

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #470 on: 07 December, 2017, 01:29:36 pm »
You get excited when your pension statements arrive which show that you should have a reasonably comfortable life when retirement finally arrives....  ;D


hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #471 on: 07 December, 2017, 03:59:56 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....

55th birthday present? I remember getting mine (4 years ago).

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #472 on: 07 December, 2017, 04:16:16 pm »
Middle aged begins when you start doing middle-aged things, like buying a house, getting a serious job, a serious partner, having kids, wearing suits and ties (or their feminine equivalents) on a regular basis.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

ian

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #473 on: 07 December, 2017, 04:44:50 pm »
Middle aged begins when you start doing middle-aged things...

I feel the need to grade myself.

Quote
like buying a house

Crap, you have me. Nearly paid for as well. And it's a palace. Of gleaming asbestos. And there's a route to Hell under the hallway floorboards.

Quote
getting a serious job

I draw kittens. Sometimes giraffes. Today I'm being abstract and drawing circles with lines coming out of them. I do get paid more than Nigel Farage and I'm possibly more useful.

Quote
a serious partner

She's not very serious but she does pull that face when I do something especially stupid. Which is daily.

Quote
having kids

Complete failure. Hate the little proto-Hitlers.

Quote
wearing suits and ties (or their feminine equivalents)

Tidy-Haired Thought Leadership™ is something you can do in corduroy. Or a dress. I'd think prefer the latter, frocks are more stylish but with the Beard of Authority® it might transgress the boundaries of odd.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #474 on: 07 December, 2017, 04:54:40 pm »
You get excited when your pension statements arrive which show that you should have a reasonably comfortable life when retirement finally arrives....  ;D

Then when it does all your kids park their kids with you while they go off and have fun. And the entire horde turns up for Christmas and eats your savings.

(El Prez is in this situation.  All of his kids and most of their kids have December birthdays, too.  It takes him the rest of the year to recover.)
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight