Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => Freewheeling => Racing => Topic started by: Mr Larrington on 28 August, 2020, 10:26:17 pm

Title: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 August, 2020, 10:26:17 pm
O hai! Better a Tour ov France in Aug & Sep than no Tour ov France at all. Leastways that's our motto here @ P@nd3m1c+ Pr0duckt10nzTM®. Assuming there actually is a race at all – and it may be that starting this topic is akin to speaking TP Fairy’s name out loud – we feel we should warn those of a nervous disposition that this thread may contain some, or more, of:

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Will Bethany (10) avoid incarceration, snapped limbs and informal interment in Epping Forest? Will radio's M Smith go too far and weld one of his hostages guests+++ to the door handle? In what language will TV's Encycleopædia Rendallica deliver his opening salvo of History? Will Syrah Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh (Mrs) take legal action against Bethany's Mum over those unfounded++++ allegations the latter apparently sold to The [“Scum” – Ed.]? Will TV's Super D Millar fall asleep during a 200 km transition stage? Will TV’s *** Boulting finally identify a birb correctly? And will Bethany's Cool Uncle Joe become the snout king of 'B' Landing? All these questions may, or may not, be answered in the coming days and weeks, but if you want sensible discussion of the actual race or arguments about non-mind-altering drugs try the other thread. Unless you give us money, natch. Integrity? We've heard of it...

+
Name shamelessly robbed from that AC Clarke’s story Armaments Race years ago so stop complaining. Audi haven’t changed their name just because it’s been tarnished by the activities of dickheads, have they?
++
Possibly.
+++
Probably that bloke who isn't him out of the Pet Shop Boys after all.
++++
Allegedly. Not that you, Constant Reader, would stoop so low as to want the details.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Torslanda on 29 August, 2020, 12:00:29 am
And what of TV's Nice C Boardman?*

Mrs. Torslanda, she of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate, needs to know...








*According a certain Mr C. B. Oardman - who is my FREND on FarceBark - he & others are incarcerated in Leeds Castle (which, as I'm sure you all KNO, isn't in Leeds) for the duration of Le Tour OV France. From where he will unoubtedly be forced** to provide cutting edge and in depth analysis of everything from the roll out to the run in to the stage finish. All without being within 300 miles of the action on the road...

**If he wants feeding, anyway.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2020, 12:10:54 am
We shall only be certain of the activities of TV's C Boardmen* after ITV4 have cranked up the theme tune, but Evil C Boardman probably won't be able to recce the final kilometres looking for the Spot Most Likely To Contain B0rked Lead-Out Trains.  It'd be a chiz if Super D and *** are also confined to barracks; it wouldn’t be the same without the former regaling us with his tales of art galleries and the latter with his tales of R Bardet's local ice cream parlour.

* How do you know which C Boardman has the keys to the Farcebok account?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Paul on 29 August, 2020, 08:03:13 am
Excellent.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Torslanda on 29 August, 2020, 01:40:50 pm

* How do you know which C Boardman has the keys to the Farcebok account?

The nice one, natch...
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: TheLurker on 29 August, 2020, 01:59:39 pm
Order is restored.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 29 August, 2020, 02:43:20 pm
Hooray. And what is more. Top O.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 29 August, 2020, 04:05:46 pm
Watching a soggy last loop on Nice to Nice and as I type there’s a very comic head butting of a road sign. I hope he’s ok.

But I am again in wonderment that the grand fromagery of the racing of bicycles around France allow a team to wear yellow jumpers.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2020, 05:53:09 pm
Stage 1: Nice —> Nice

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We did record La Thing Course and the report will follow in due course.  Srsly.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Peter on 29 August, 2020, 06:35:39 pm
Magnifake!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 August, 2020, 09:06:23 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2020, 09:16:05 pm
La Thing Course: Nice —> Nice

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 August, 2020, 10:39:02 pm
Haha, stick that in your lum and smok it.  ;D :thumbsup:

Question: what is Tv's Niec C Boardman doing back? I though he retired from the coverage last year.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2020, 10:49:46 pm
Haha, stick that in your lum and smok it.  ;D :thumbsup:

Question: what is Tv's Niec C Boardman doing back? I though he retired from the coverage last year.

TV's G Imlach reckons it was because Mrs NC Boardman got fed up of having him loafing around the house all day, but when Niec C dropped the retirement bomb in 2018 he said it was because spending three weeks touring France in a packing crate in high summer had ceased to be Fun.  I imagine three weeks of bed and board in a stationery castle is slightly more appealing.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 29 August, 2020, 10:55:14 pm
Spotted this while reading a TdF thread elsewhere:

Quote
Aquí está la causa de muchas de las caídas el día de hoy o almenos eso parece.

La Caravana publicitaria del #TDF2020 en específico la de el jabón X-Tra Total lanzaba bombas de jabón qué quedaron en la Carretera.
Con la lluvia, la vía se transformó en una pista de patinaje
https://twitter.com/ElManillarCOL/status/1299775147340165124

Quoth Gargoyle Translate:

"The advertising Caravan for # TDF2020, specifically that of the X-Tra Total soap, threw soap bombs that were left on the road.
With the rain, the track was transformed into a skating rink."

If true, that's a bit of a whoopsie...
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 August, 2020, 10:56:40 pm
Haha, stick that in your lum and smok it.  ;D :thumbsup:

Question: what is Tv's Niec C Boardman doing back? I though he retired from the coverage last year.

TV's G Imlach reckons it was because Mrs NC Boardman got fed up of having him loafing around the house all day, but when Niec C dropped the retirement bomb in 2018 he said it was because spending three weeks touring France in a packing crate in high summer had ceased to be Fun.  I imagine three weeks of bed and board in a stationery castle is slightly more appealing.

I hadn't actually realised that was 2 years ago already. So he'd had a year off...
Plus if he's been stuck in the house since March with 6 offspring (I'm sure they're not all still at home) he prolly wanted 3 weeks away this year...
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 August, 2020, 11:47:33 pm
I expect young George Boardman has a restraining order out on him after that rest day feature a few years ago ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 August, 2020, 03:24:43 pm
Niec C Boardman is on form this afternoon.  Hurrah!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 August, 2020, 06:46:23 pm
Stage 2: Nice —> Nice. Agane.

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 31 August, 2020, 12:26:40 am
RAAAAAWWWRR!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 31 August, 2020, 08:55:55 am
Yay Alaphillipe! \o{ shit wot append 2 mi yarm?

And it's pronounced conefrwa, ye 'coznefrwa'ing berks on French TV.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2020, 12:30:55 pm
Yay Alaphillipe! \o{ shit wot append 2 mi yarm?

And it's pronounced conefrwa, ye 'coznefrwa'ing berks on French TV.

Even *** got that one right :o. Also the lad won the Combativité yesterday.

It's fascinating watching my new-to-me iPad “learning” the language.  The only word it seems not to grok is “Prudhomme” ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 31 August, 2020, 04:41:10 pm
Very wise.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2020, 04:44:43 pm
Well, the utter twats at ITV4 pulled the plug on the recording with 1.8 km to go so Stage 3 will have to wait until after tonight’s highlights.  Isn’t SCIENCE marvellous?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 31 August, 2020, 04:47:17 pm
Ouch.  I watch it on here https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html but you have to flip over for the first half of the stage.

Just saw that Senseo is the official coffee of the TdF. Poor bastards.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2020, 04:57:11 pm
I have the Memory-Box set to record the whole series and start watching some time later so I can FFWD through the shitverts, but unless you catch up with the live broadcast there's always a danger of this happening.  The recording is supposed to do an extra five minutes on top of the scheduled time, so clearly the pelican was in no hurry today.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: De Sisti on 31 August, 2020, 05:10:53 pm
Ouch.  I watch it on here https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html (https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html) but you have to flip over for the first half of the stage.

Just saw that Senseo is the official coffee of the TdF. Poor bastards.


https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html (https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html)
You must be in France then? :-D

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50291011137_29c1f9665c.jpg)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 31 August, 2020, 06:41:03 pm
Van Avermaet do do do do do
Van Avermaet do do do do...

https://twitter.com/MitcheltonSCOTT/status/1300360865850499072
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2020, 06:49:41 pm
Van Avermaet do do do do do
Van Avermaet do do do do...

https://twitter.com/MitcheltonSCOTT/status/1300360865850499072

*** & Super D had intermittent contact with M White this arvo.  This incident may have been mentioned.  *** commented that it's taken three years to teach Super D how to say “Deceuninck”, which is pretty rich coming from someone who still can't say “Skujins” without sending the entire population of Latvia into apoplexy.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 31 August, 2020, 07:17:24 pm
It's spelled “Skujins”, but it's pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove". :demon:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2020, 08:29:44 pm
Stage 3: Nice —> Sisteron

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 31 August, 2020, 08:34:04 pm
Well, the utter twats at ITV4 pulled the plug on the recording with 1.8 km to go so Stage 3 will have to wait until after tonight’s highlights.  Isn’t SCIENCE marvellous?
s’odd. I watched the end live on ITV4.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 01 September, 2020, 10:28:40 am
Ouch.  I watch it on here https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html (https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html) but you have to flip over for the first half of the stage.

Just saw that Senseo is the official coffee of the TdF. Poor bastards.


https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html (https://www.france.tv/france-2/direct.html)
You must be in France then? :-D

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50291011137_29c1f9665c.jpg)

Aw gee.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2020, 05:36:04 pm
Stage 4: Sisteron —> Orcières-Merlette

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2020, 09:11:45 pm
Today was “a tale of two stories” according to sawn-down Manx [“foolish young man” - Ed.] Tiny P Kennaugh :facepalm:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 01 September, 2020, 09:19:53 pm
Today was “a tale of two stories” according to sawn-down Manx [“foolish young man” - Ed.] Tiny P Kennaugh :facepalm:

Sounds like a low-budget re-make of the Kurosawa flick Rashōmon.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2020, 09:44:58 pm
Today was “a tale of two stories” according to sawn-down Manx [“foolish young man” - Ed.] Tiny P Kennaugh :facepalm:

Sounds like a low-budget re-make of the Kurosawa flick Rashōmon.

Or “Pulp Fiction” for thickoes.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 01 September, 2020, 11:02:11 pm
Tomorrow they go down Gorges de St May (watch out for vautours TV's *** Boulting!) through Sahune to Nyons. That's the area where we should have been on holibobs last month  :'(
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Paul on 01 September, 2020, 11:04:35 pm
Delightful regurgitations. I particularly enjoyed S Calamityjane, but it's all good.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2020, 11:32:18 pm
Tomorrow they go down Gorges de St May (watch out for vautours TV's *** Boulting!) through Sahune to Nyons. That's the area where we should have been on holibobs last month  :'(

We've had a few vautours already, but when specifically challenged to a game of “Naem Teh Birb” by Super D, *** pleaded ignorance.  Which, tbf, is ***’s default state.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 02 September, 2020, 01:30:21 pm
Today they're also going over the Col de Serre Colon, which being roughly translated renders as tighten your ass.  Maybe they'll get dive-bombed by the vautours.

In the 90s, BTW, we were up among the vultures in the Gorge de la Jonte. Wouldn't want to make one angry.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 02 September, 2020, 01:56:55 pm
Tomorrow they go down Gorges de St May (watch out for vautours TV's *** Boulting!) through Sahune to Nyons. That's the area where we should have been on holibobs last month  :'(

We've had a few vautours already, but when specifically challenged to a game of “Naem Teh Birb” by Super D, *** pleaded ignorance.  Which, tbf, is ***’s default state.

Vautours are all a mystère to ***, then?


Yes, that's my flight suit...

Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 September, 2020, 05:44:27 pm
Stage 5: Gap —> Privas

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 02 September, 2020, 10:15:41 pm
Tomorrow they go down Gorges de St May (watch out for vautours TV's *** Boulting!) through Sahune to Nyons. That's the area where we should have been on holibobs last month  :'(

We've had a few vautours already, but when specifically challenged to a game of “Naem Teh Birb” by Super D, *** pleaded ignorance.  Which, tbf, is ***’s default state.

https://www.gypaete-barbu.com innit?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 September, 2020, 11:00:52 pm
I suspected as much, after a long period of checking the habitats of divers Old World vautours on Wikinaccurate.  It would appear that ***, unlike Tiny P, does not know how to use teh Internets.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 03 September, 2020, 08:45:58 am
Sulking today. Boringest stage since sprinters were invented and Alaphilippe loses his shirt. Shitballs. :(

Still, maybe a few good mountain stages will cripple enough thugs sprinters that... bah.  Lousy f*ckin' bottle. Shit.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 September, 2020, 09:53:48 am
Just to cheer you up, there's about 140 km of very much the same today before the hills start, though I suppose Headbangersaurus belgicae might possibly stop sulking* and actually go off on one.

* Obv P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® has no idea why TD Gendt is being so low-key after three years of being off up the road at every opportunity.  Pouting because TL Soudal “picked P Gilbert over T Wellens” makes as much sense as anything.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 03 September, 2020, 11:12:30 am
And the bottle-holder-outer was his effing BROTHER.  That's how family feuds begin. Unless it was a cunninge plotte to save Julie a few effort coupons.

And gee thanks, Mr. L., I'll just use the time profitably to, I dunno, how does worming the dog sound to you?  Like an early 60s dance craze? "Hey come on baby let's worm the dog..."

Exit stage left, banging elbow on doorpost.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 03 September, 2020, 02:43:24 pm
If it makes you feel better T, I’ve spent the AM driving 250miles and have just deposited my youngest daughter with most of her worldly goods in A daggy PSO house share in one of the lesser salubrious areas of Leeds.  :(
At least I’m not missing an interesting stage today.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 03 September, 2020, 03:06:39 pm
Actually it's not bad just now: they're in country where we used to go on holiday, and where I've done a bit of riding.  I also nearly massacred the sump of a new car on a speed bump in Le Vigan, where the pelican just went through.

Bon courage for the return trip.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 September, 2020, 04:48:39 pm
Stage 6: Le Teil —> Mont Aigoual

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 03 September, 2020, 08:31:22 pm
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: rafletcher on 03 September, 2020, 09:27:33 pm
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.

They’re like the long-ago Oakley’s which were based on ski goggles.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 04 September, 2020, 08:54:56 am
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.

Which 1z he?  My vote for horrendipity goes that chappie with matching gold helmet & giglamps.  If such items were worn in whorehouses we'd know where he'd been.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 04 September, 2020, 09:43:20 am
ANOTHER flat stage? Will anything EVER happen on this tour? How can anything EVER happen if it’s all flat? Enquiring minds need to know...
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 September, 2020, 10:45:59 am
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.

Which 1z he?  My vote for horrendipity goes that chappie with matching gold helmet & giglamps.  If such items were worn in whorehouses we'd know where he'd been.

I think it’s GV Laundromat with the gold martlehat, which he apparently gets to wear coz he’s the current Olympic road race champion.  I didn’t realise that cycling had taken a leaf out of (non-NASCAR) stock car racing's book, wherein the reigning world champion gets to paint the roof of their car gold.

If you think his hat is bad, in this year's BTCC one Carl Boardley is driving a gold-all-over pikey old Beemer :sick:

ANOTHER flat stage? Will anything EVER happen on this tour? How can anything EVER happen if it’s all flat? Enquiring minds need to know...

Two full days of Pyra-knees at the weekend, albeit without the Tourmalet this year, but today looks like another snoozefest.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 04 September, 2020, 11:00:56 am
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.

Which 1z he?  My vote for horrendipity goes that chappie with matching gold helmet & giglamps.  If such items were worn in whorehouses we'd know where he'd been.

I think it’s GV Laundromat with the gold martlehat, which he apparently gets to wear coz he’s the current Olympic road race champion.  I didn’t realise that cycling had taken a leaf out of (non-NASCAR) stock car racing's book, wherein the reigning world champion gets to paint the roof of their car gold.

If you think his hat is bad, in this year's BTCC one Carl Boardley is driving a gold-all-over pikey old Beemer :sick:

"Pah! They're not even trying" ~Mario (53)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 04 September, 2020, 11:03:46 am
Apropos of not a lot, who came up with the Laundromat moniker for Van Avermaet*?  ;D



* Do do do do do!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 September, 2020, 11:20:37 am
Apropos of not a lot, who came up with the Laundromat moniker for Van Avermaet*?  ;D



* Do do do do do!

You did, last year (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=112629.msg2413497#msg2413497).  Unless you found it lurking behind the rhododendron bushes and appropriated for your own fiendish ends.  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® nevvah 4gets.  Just ask R Bardet, or Mrs Pingu.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 04 September, 2020, 11:52:45 am
It's possible that I may have acquired it via a Lobachevskian data path... ;)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Paul on 04 September, 2020, 01:16:16 pm
TP Kennaugh: “Everyone’s going to be on tenderhooks”

What are they? Is that an IoM thing? ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 September, 2020, 05:04:41 pm
Stage 7: Millau —> Lavaur

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: mzjo on 04 September, 2020, 05:48:53 pm
TP Kennaugh: “Everyone’s going to be on tenderhooks”

What are they? Is that an IoM thing? ;D

Sumfink to do with abattoirs ain't it -or as that cricket (or knot cricket if its the wrong country)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 September, 2020, 08:18:05 pm
A Yates, please to be getting some new sunglasses, those ones are fukn ugly.

Which 1z he?  My vote for horrendipity goes that chappie with matching gold helmet & giglamps.  If such items were worn in whorehouses we'd know where he'd been.
(https://keyassets.timeincuk.net/inspirewp/live/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/09/GettyImages-1270449252-920x613.jpg)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 04 September, 2020, 09:43:26 pm
Tomorrow, Col de Peyresourde, pancakes!  :P
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 05 September, 2020, 12:55:16 pm
FR3 just showed us a watercourse that wasn't half dried up.  :o
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 05 September, 2020, 01:33:29 pm
I’ve just had a look at today’s route. Three proper hills today, so we should have some action. Possibly. Maybe. 
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 05 September, 2020, 01:39:07 pm
Yebbut they finish on a descent.  It's more fun when they stop at the top.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 05 September, 2020, 03:36:27 pm
Pinot gris.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 05 September, 2020, 03:39:58 pm
I think that T Jumbo should be required to change the colour of their team strip. It’s very confusing for this bear to look at the feathery might of the pelican and see all those yellow jerseys.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 September, 2020, 05:18:02 pm
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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: rafletcher on 05 September, 2020, 07:10:15 pm
I think that T Jumbo should be required to change the colour of their team strip. It’s very confusing for this bear to look at the feathery might of the pelican and see all those yellow jerseys.

Indeed, plus the EF rider also in yellow. And Mitchelton-Scott.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 September, 2020, 08:30:05 pm
Stage 8: Cazères-Sur-Garonne —> Loudenvielle

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Paul on 06 September, 2020, 08:48:51 am
TP Kennaugh: “Everyone’s going to be on tenderhooks”

What are they? Is that an IoM thing? ;D

Sumfink to do with abattoirs ain't it -or as that cricket (or knot cricket if its the wrong country)

I'm being a bit mean. I think he probably meant tenterhooks. It's not an uncommon mistake.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2020, 11:19:17 am
A “tenderhook” is the thing you hang steaks on to age them.  On the Isle of Man they have three revolving legs.  Everything on the IOM has three revolving legs and usually a very short tail*. The official state limo of the King of the Isle Of Man** is a Bond Bug.

Aforegoing may contain traces of Lie.

* Or none at all
** M Cavendish
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2020, 11:30:32 am
Hat! HAT!!1!

Super D Millar.  Baseball cap.  On backwards.  On a scale of 1 to Bloody Stupid Johnson  this rates at least a Piers “Morgan” Moron.

* the colossal bellend
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2020, 12:44:56 pm
Tiny P Kennaugh has just mooted the possibility that TD Gendt is missing the presence of T Wellens this year.  Sorry, Tiny P, but we @ P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® are way ahead of you :smug:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 06 September, 2020, 01:51:20 pm
A bit scary doing 50kph on wet roads on a bicycle with less than 5m visibility!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 06 September, 2020, 03:34:27 pm
First time we got a clear view of AYates in his shinyjumper was after he'd lost it. All these wretched yellow/black combos, :sick:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 06 September, 2020, 04:12:21 pm
I do feel a bit sorry of Hirschi, but he didn’t exactly cave even after they caught him.

Has Sagan finished yet?  ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2020, 04:23:24 pm
Stage 9: Pau —> Laruns

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I wish I could get the column widths to behave themselves…
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2020, 04:28:21 pm
I do feel a bit sorry of Hirschi, but he didn’t exactly cave even after they caught him.

Has Sagan finished yet?  ;D

Finished dans l'autobus with the sprinters, spent domestiques & J Alaphilippe. Nearly half an hour behind.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 September, 2020, 08:52:45 pm
Piss! Indeed.
Pauvre M. Kirschi
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 07 September, 2020, 08:50:10 am
Yeah. Did all that and still had the oomph to mount a sprint. 3rd and a red number don't beat a stage win for plaudits.  :'(

I'll have some of what he's drinking.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 September, 2020, 09:07:20 pm
Rest Da 1: La Charente-Maritime

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: TheLurker on 07 September, 2020, 09:25:04 pm
Are points awarded for spotting shameless Goon Show script thievery?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 September, 2020, 09:44:44 pm
Are points awarded for spotting shameless Goon Show script thievery?

No. We @ P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® have been indulging in NI Lobachevsky-stylee research since day 1.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 11:49:21 am
Onoz!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® has just discovered that ITV4’s resident geek has been M Rendell probably since it was built.  We will commit seppuku immediately using a b0rked Campag track crank.

(dies)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: fimm on 08 September, 2020, 02:36:10 pm
I notice that social distancing has saved stage winners and jersey holders from being kissed by the podium girls (in fact one of the podium girls has been replaced by a chap in jeans and an appropriately coloured t-shirt)... do we think this might continue post coronalurgi?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 02:43:33 pm
Bethany (10) was going to comment on this last week but got distracted by Messrs Gabbitas & Terminator.  Now, would you like to buy some life insewerants?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Beardy on 08 September, 2020, 04:43:04 pm
I turned the anabaric distascope on for the last 5 minutes and looking at the pelican I suspect I caught the only excitement of the day. I’ll await PP synopsis to disabuse me of this notion.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 04:45:48 pm
You will, alas, have to wait a bit.  I have to go to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles or eat cardboard tonight, like Bethany (10).
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 06:13:05 pm
Stage 10: Le Château d'Oléron —> Saint-Martin-de-Ré

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 08:17:37 pm
Bright idea of ITV4 to broadcast a hagiography of T Pinot on a day he lost another 5 minutes.  Le ooops.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 08 September, 2020, 08:54:02 pm
Bright idea of ITV4 to broadcast a hagiography of T Pinot on a day he lost another 5 minutes.  Le ooops.

Le ROFL...  ;D

Has anyone checked to see if EC Boardman has a stash of voodoo dolls of GC contenders*?



* For certain values of "contenders", natch.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 September, 2020, 09:03:00 pm
Wot is the Mr Gabbitas & Terminator fing all abaht?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 08 September, 2020, 09:09:34 pm
Gabbitas rings a bell from Molesworth...

<checks bookshelf in spare room>

Ah, here we are - in How To Be Topp, there is series of Ronald Searle illustrations, captioned thusly:

"Gabittas creeps round the wood one way"
"Thring creeps round the other way"
"Gabbitas and Thring trap a young man and lead him off to be a master"

Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Salvatore on 08 September, 2020, 09:12:51 pm
Gabbitas rings a bell from Molesworth...

<checks bookshelf in spare room>

Ah, here we are - in How To Be Topp, there is series of Ronald Searle illustrations, captioned thusly:

"Gabittas creeps round the wood one way"
"Thring creeps round the other way"
"Gabbitas and Thring trap a young man and lead him off to be a master"

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eHiVKHgZ9nE/S1M7rESpXbI/AAAAAAAAABg/5B9zFrgZ9NQ/s1600/Gabbitas+and+Thring+001.jpg)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 09:23:40 pm
Gabbitas & Thring were “educational consultants” who, when not trapping young men in the woods, published “The Good Skools Guide”.  Thring is, it seems, now history but Mr Gabbitas (great great grandson of the first Mr Gabbitas) may be carrying on the family business, albeit working for [“a possibly apocryphal organisation” – Ed.] funded by [“a high net worth individual or individuals” – Ed.].  Who may, or may not, have a Sinister Purpose in which Bethany (10) is a vital element.

Any resemblance between Mr Gabbitas and Agent Smith off of “The Matrix” is of course entirely coincidental and there is no spoon (https://youtu.be/t6Dp2OfIT_M).
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: spesh on 08 September, 2020, 10:11:08 pm
... [“a possibly apocryphal organisation” – Ed.] ...

<Obligatory Tom Holt reference>

Not the Milk Marketing Board, then? :demon:

</Obligatory Tom Holt reference>
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 September, 2020, 10:31:24 pm
I did find some educational thing on Google when I searched for Gabbitas.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2020, 11:18:55 pm
I have a vague recollection of the 1971 edition floating around Fort Larrington shortly before starting my 10-stretch at st custards.  I think these facts may have been connected.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Salvatore on 09 September, 2020, 04:36:58 pm
TP Kennaugh (https://youtu.be/EqpFni2ZTU4)
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 September, 2020, 05:33:53 pm
Stage 11: Châtelaillon-Plage —> Poitiers

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 10 September, 2020, 01:10:50 pm
And it's Goodbye Norma Saccharine.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 September, 2020, 05:04:05 pm
Stage 12: Chauvigny —> Sarran Corrèze

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 September, 2020, 05:51:49 pm
Soz 4 teh laet; Miss von Brandenburg rang just as ITV4 finished doing teh thing…

Stage 13: Châtel-Guyon —> Puy Mary Cantal

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 September, 2020, 03:26:30 pm
Onoz! Apparently there’s a New! IMPROVED!!1! electric pelican! $3,000,000 penthouse still not included, thobut.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 September, 2020, 06:11:17 pm
Stage 14: Clermont-Ferrand —> Lyon

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 12 September, 2020, 10:50:35 pm
Quote
N Boulting:   Y not visit La Tour d'Auvergne on ur holibobs next year? See ses parkings, ses églises, ses toits d'ardoise, ses deux belles pâtisseries, sa piscine couverte, son chandelier de première classe, ses vaches qui mangent de l'herbe et le policier local à vélo!
Le Maire du Tour d'Auvergne:   Merci

Wot? My recollection is of everything being shut there  :demon:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 September, 2020, 11:50:28 pm
The possibility remains that *** may have – whisper it – made it up…
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 September, 2020, 03:21:37 pm
If TV's C Boardmen don't stop using the word “leverage” as a verb I'm going down to Kent tomorrow with a can of petril.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 13 September, 2020, 03:37:03 pm
Horrororz!  Just had a close-up of the inside of P. Rolland's front gnashers.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 September, 2020, 04:30:31 pm
Can't be worse than T Skujins' arse from the other day.  Can it?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 13 September, 2020, 04:36:50 pm
Missed that. Must have been asleep.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 September, 2020, 05:24:36 pm
Stage 15: Lyon —> Grand Colombier

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 September, 2020, 09:21:27 pm
Rest Da 2: Isère

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 14 September, 2020, 09:51:23 pm
Steal the staff car ***!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 15 September, 2020, 08:37:26 am
D. Friebe? Being an deprived FURRINER I had to google him. Ferry hinterestink: clicky (https://www.pinterest.com/ddfriebe/edwardian-fashion-summer-2nd-class/). Wot no bloomers?

Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 15 September, 2020, 01:28:46 pm
They just went past a Church of the Belly Pock.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 September, 2020, 05:44:49 pm
Soz for the delai; sound on the PC stopped working for no readily apparent reason.

Stage 16: La Tour-du-Pin —> Villard-de-Lans

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 September, 2020, 08:54:13 pm
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 September, 2020, 05:19:04 pm
Stage 17: Grenoble —> Méribel Col De La Loze

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 September, 2020, 05:44:37 pm
Stage 18: Méribel —> La Roche-Sur-Foron

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 18 September, 2020, 09:23:13 am
 ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 September, 2020, 05:19:13 pm
Stage 19: Bourg-en-Bresse —> Champagnole

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 18 September, 2020, 08:29:42 pm
Me & that Pingu have decided that SK Andersen looks like a medium sized excited dog with it's tongue hanging out.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 September, 2020, 11:36:20 pm
Woof &, moreover, sossidges!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 19 September, 2020, 08:43:16 am
Overexcited yesterday 'cos he'd lost his earphone and thought the ravening pack was almost at his nethers.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 September, 2020, 06:13:41 pm
Stage 20: Lure —> La Planche Des Belles Filles

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 September, 2020, 07:21:11 pm
I just checked thee Panel’s predictions from the rest day. Chirpy Manx idiot Tiny P Kennaugh called it just right :o He may not be such a nidiot after all.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Pingu on 19 September, 2020, 09:39:43 pm
Squirrel!
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 September, 2020, 10:53:00 pm
Or G Imlach's hair doing a runner.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 September, 2020, 07:33:19 pm
Stage 21: Mantes-Les-Jolies —> Paris Champs-Elysées

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 September, 2020, 09:11:32 am
S Bennett: I iz not so Fatha Ted-incompreehens as Sean Kelly, which iz improovmnt.
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2020, 12:28:43 pm
S Bennett: I iz not so Fatha Ted-incompreehens as Sean Kelly, which iz improovmnt.

Has he been interviewed by the radio and replied to a question with a nod yet?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Peter on 21 September, 2020, 12:55:44 pm
I sympathise - in my performing days I once juggled on Capital Radio.  This could be why you've never heard of me.....
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2020, 08:55:13 pm
So iz tiem 4 teh Utterly Subjective P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Tour Ov France Awards 2020 Sponsored Bi Holdings (Holdings) plc A Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh Cumpni!

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Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 September, 2020, 09:23:16 pm
Soz but Miggelangelopez's ice-sk8ing histreeonix wit hed butt of r0ad sine for grand finarly was best chute by far. Look in slo-mo.  Teh sine knowz whats cumin and carnt moove..

https://youtu.be/foPnGBy9iPc
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 September, 2020, 10:20:18 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: T42 on 28 September, 2020, 12:55:32 pm
@Bethany(10): Guess who's the new world champ?
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Peter on 28 September, 2020, 01:18:50 pm
Soz but Miggelangelopez's ice-sk8ing histreeonix wit hed butt of r0ad sine for grand finarly was best chute by far. Look in slo-mo.  Teh sine knowz whats cumin and carnt moove..

https://youtu.be/foPnGBy9iPc

"Now, Geraint, if you could only take one of the records to the island?"

"Have to be I Talk To The Trees……."
Title: Re: TdF MMXX — Teh Anti-Social & Distant Edition
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 September, 2020, 03:07:15 pm
@Bethany(10): Guess who's the new world champ?

Bethany (10):Fckles!
Mr Gabbitas:Mr Terminator? Did u get a fix on that xmission?
Mr Terminator:BEHIND TEH WARDROBE. IN MARSEILLE.