Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => Audax => Topic started by: Exit Stage Left on 06 April, 2011, 03:46:45 pm

Title: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Exit Stage Left on 06 April, 2011, 03:46:45 pm
Stupid o'clock start times. So you end up staying a a B&B the night before and have to explain that you need breakfast at 5 am.  I have an irrational fear that I'll say yes to a continental breakfast, not specify the continent, and be faced with a whole roast guinea pig, or some wiggery grubs.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: anotherdeadhero on 06 April, 2011, 04:01:52 pm
Fixing a puncture after flogging yourself inside out for 190k, only for someone at least twice your age on a bike 4 times heavier than yours to breeze past with a cheery hello.


Actually, I kinda like that about audax.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Martin on 06 April, 2011, 04:05:40 pm
Sunday 200s near a station when no train driver gets out of bed (or else they haven't stopped ripping the track up from the night before if they were supposed to) until 0800.

events that go to stunningly beautiful locations where the cafes are full of grockles all queuing up for Full English

ones that don't take Paypal
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: geraldc on 06 April, 2011, 04:12:37 pm
Replacement bus services for the train you need home...
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: interzen on 06 April, 2011, 04:13:43 pm
Wannabe racers (not to be confused with guys who are just genuinely quick)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 06 April, 2011, 04:18:48 pm
Too far.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: MercuryKev on 06 April, 2011, 04:27:09 pm
+1 for early starts.   I'd love a 200 that started at 10am or even noon in the summer.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ivo on 06 April, 2011, 04:29:01 pm
+1 for early starts.   I'd love a 200 that started at 10am or even noon in the summer.

10 am start is great. Had one years ago in St. Petersburg. Especially during the white nights you don't need an early start.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: dasmoth on 06 April, 2011, 04:49:55 pm
ones that don't take Paypal

+1

On the other hand, the early starts don't bother me.  They don't exactly come naturally, but it is quite satisfying to know you're using all the daylight.  Even in summer, it's nice to get some miles in before the sun really hits.  If I were a little faster, I could imagine trying to plan a siesta into a midsummer 200.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Karla on 06 April, 2011, 04:57:10 pm
Riding with audaxers who can't interact with cars because they hardly ride in town, but who aren't club riders either so so they can't interact with bikes. 
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 06 April, 2011, 05:14:09 pm
Lack of information about routes. Much less of a problem then it was.

Actually I used to find it quite exciting turning up and having no real idea of what the day was to bring.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jogler on 06 April, 2011, 05:17:02 pm
Early starts on a Sunday :(
Early starts on a Saturday are  :thumbsup:

it's a mind-games thing
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jaded on 06 April, 2011, 05:22:23 pm
Tower of Babel Routesheets.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jimbhoy on 06 April, 2011, 05:23:24 pm
Getting to the start itself, not having a car and with most events based in the east or the borders, it's very difficult for me even getting there.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Bairn Again on 06 April, 2011, 05:25:14 pm
Two obvious ones for me are -

1.  Always being in a cold draught in cafes.
 
2.  That sinking feeling about 9pm on a 400k when you realise youve still got sooooo many hours on the bike and almost all of them will be in the dark.      
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Rig of Jarkness on 06 April, 2011, 05:30:44 pm
The bit that I used to hate were the times I was sat sweaty and shivering in a control, feeling sick and achy, force feeding myself yet another portion of pasta/rice pudding  :(
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Billy Weir on 06 April, 2011, 05:46:27 pm
"Enclose 2xSAE"
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 06 April, 2011, 05:49:11 pm
Walking out of a nice warm control on a cold winters night and getting the shivery shakes until I warm up.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 06 April, 2011, 05:50:18 pm
Riding with audaxers who can't interact with cars because they hardly ride in town, but who aren't club riders either so so they can't interact with bikes. 
Hold your horses! This isn't "What's to dislike about Audaxers". (That would be 5 times the length ... )

(nevertheless, I would agree with your whinge).
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 06 April, 2011, 06:02:40 pm
Riding with audaxers who can't interact with cars because they hardly ride in town, but who aren't club riders either so so they can't interact with bikes.  
Hold your horses! This isn't "What's to dislike about Audaxers". (That would be 5 times the length ... )

(nevertheless, I would agree with your whinge).


Is there time to complain about riders with flashing rear lights before the thread goes back on topic?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Billy Weir on 06 April, 2011, 06:05:05 pm
1. The "sting in the tail"
2. Sunday shop hours
3. Drunks
4. Clothing for visibility, not looks or comfort
5. Small time hinderances feel like impending doom
6. Distance remaining divided by speed plus current time versus Distance divided by minimum speed plus start time is a mensa-like problem at 3am
7. Road signs in miles, route sheet in kilometres
8. Monday morning at work after a 600km
9. Canteen not opening until 12am on Monday
10. Speed x Darkness = constant
11. "L no sp" in the dark
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Nuncio on 06 April, 2011, 06:41:56 pm
Fixing a puncture after flogging yourself inside out for 190k, only for someone at least twice your age on a bike 4 times heavier than yours to breeze past with a cheery hello.


Actually, I kinda like that about audax.

Lack of information about routes. Much less of a problem then it was.

Actually I used to find it quite exciting turning up and having no real idea of what the day was to bring.

Decisive cyclists.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Nuncio on 06 April, 2011, 06:45:13 pm
Day 2 glove smell.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Panoramix on 06 April, 2011, 06:47:07 pm
Realising that during the last 200km you were slow eating your time buffer and now you need to pedal non stop for 12 hours through the night to finish in time.

Remebering at 1am that it is a BRM and as such overdistance means time wrap in the vectorial space of control closures.

Actually if it was a vectorial space, it would be linear. A sadistic polish mathematician must have invented clever maths to solve this in a one liner.

Reverting to sums and multiplications, how can clever Maths resurface in my mind since I have long forgotten my uni maths?

Spending one hour trying to estimate what average speed you need to resolve ACP introduced time-space ripples.

Wondering why even after you left France, French administrative quirks follow you in the middle of the night on a Welsh hill rollercoaster.

Deciding that the best option is to pedal as hard as possible until a round number of reminding kilometers is reached to facilitate the maths a 8 year old would manage.

And no, these white lines are still, you are not being attacked!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 06 April, 2011, 06:49:52 pm
I've sat here for over fifteen minutes trying to remember an Audax that was unpleasureable.

Maybe getting a phonecall in Matlock my Mom's gone into hospital, and having to get myself on the train pronto.

I only go on rides that I am confident I will have a fun time.
All these comments about nausea, shivvering, weakness, falling asleep, loss of mental agility etc etc;

That's "Self Inflicted Injury".
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 06 April, 2011, 06:54:18 pm
+1 for early starts.   I'd love a 200 that started at 10am or even noon in the summer.

10am coincides with my post-breakfast reactive hypoglycaemia. I felt dreadful on the only ride I did which started at this time. It was almost sunset by the time I felt human.

I was fine on rides which started at just about any other time.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 06 April, 2011, 07:33:47 pm
Is there time to complain about riders with flashing rear lights before the thread goes back on topic?

Hmmm ... OK. As long as you don't sneak in any comments about stupidly bright front lights (let alone bright flashing front lights). Or bright rear lights that point upwards (bypassing drivers' eyes, but aimed nicely at those of Audaxers).

I've recently discovered ill-considered rear-lights are a pain even in daylight, if you're riding in a big bunch on skoggy lanes that require one's downward attention.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: dasmoth on 06 April, 2011, 07:42:09 pm
Realizing I've forgotten to bring a pen.  Again.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Exit Stage Left on 06 April, 2011, 08:00:51 pm
6. Distance remaining divided by speed plus current time versus Distance divided by minimum speed plus start time is a mensa-like problem at 3am
7. Road signs in miles, route sheet in kilometres
Realising that during the last 200km you were slow eating your time buffer and now you need to pedal non stop for 12 hours through the night to finish in time.

Remebering at 1am that it is a BRM and as such overdistance means time wrap in the vectorial space of control closures.

Actually if it was a vectorial space, it would be linear. A sadistic polish mathematician must have invented clever maths to solve this in a one liner.

Reverting to sums and multiplications, how can clever Maths resurface in my mind since I have long forgotten my uni maths?

Spending one hour trying to estimate what average speed you need to resolve ACP introduced time-space ripples.

Wondering why even after you left France, French administrative quirks follow you in the middle of the night on a Welsh hill rollercoaster.

Deciding that the best option is to pedal as hard as possible until a round number of reminding kilometers is reached to facilitate the maths a 8 year old would manage.

And no, these white lines are still, you are not being attacked!


Maybe there's a demand for an I phone App.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DrMekon on 06 April, 2011, 08:03:09 pm
The assumption that noobs understand what they are meant to do at starts/controls/finishes.
Slow service at cafes.
That there aren´t a better spread over the school holidays (easier for me to get a weekend pass in the summer).
No badges available at the end (much easier to explain to the kids if I come home with a badge, and my missus always comes home with a medal at any run she does).

I need to do some helping out first, but eventually I´d like to have a go at organising one.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DanialW on 06 April, 2011, 08:40:15 pm
Lack of information about routes. Much less of a problem then it was.

Actually I used to find it quite exciting turning up and having no real idea of what the day was to bring.

I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: red marley on 06 April, 2011, 08:47:36 pm
I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I can see it now. AUK's flagship event in 2013 - the London-???-London. Our very own magical mystery tour.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DanialW on 06 April, 2011, 08:55:33 pm
I can see it now. AUK's flagship event in 2013 - the London-???-London. Our very own magical mystery tour.

Happily, I'm not doing the routesheet!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Peter on 06 April, 2011, 09:04:00 pm
Lack of information about routes. Much less of a problem then it was.

Actually I used to find it quite exciting turning up and having no real idea of what the day was to bring.

I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I always look at the routesheet.  Then there is always one crucial moment when I'm thinking about something else - that's where the adventure starts!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Wobbly on 06 April, 2011, 09:33:51 pm
+1 for early starts.   I'd love a 200 that started at 10am or even noon in the summer.

Organise one then  :P

My only real Audax dislikes are:
 - mistakes on routesheets (thankfully not too common)
 - flashing or too bright rear lights
 - steep descents

Apart from that Audax rides are really very enjoyable.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jimc101 on 06 April, 2011, 10:22:56 pm
Having only started doing Audax's this year, have only found a few thing to dislike so far.

Payment via Post / SAE, the Paypal route is much easier, quite happy to pay a small premium for this, also avoids loads of posting, as all but the return of the Brevet card can be done via e-mail

Route sheet in miles, also goes for the whole road system, KM's are so much easier to deal with.

Consistancy in route sheet design, have done about 10 so far this year, most have stuck to the same basic formula, but one or to have been different, but have enjoyed doing the rides.

The early starts and almost everything else I can deal with.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Tewdric on 06 April, 2011, 10:31:11 pm
Walking out of a nice warm control on a cold winters night and getting the shivery shakes until I warm up.

Nah, thats the MTFU bit that makes you different from THEM
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Martin on 06 April, 2011, 10:39:26 pm
sitting chatting with the finish controlers then going back out to ride to / wedge your bike back in the car or to a station 10 km away having forgotten that you are soaked through and 'kin freezing.

I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I never look at routesheets at all unless I need an info location; as cannot work out how to mark these on a GPS
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Redlight on 06 April, 2011, 10:53:44 pm
Info controls or silly routes to ensure that we have covered the kilometres.  Trust us, for goodness sake.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Uncle Eric on 06 April, 2011, 11:13:21 pm
Riding between 3am and 6am. Mentally tough plus the body screams for sleep.

Passing through city centres around bar closing time.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 06 April, 2011, 11:30:51 pm

11. "L no sp" in the dark

In the rain, when there's so much gravel on the road that you can't see what's verge and what's tarmac, and this before the days of halogen, let alone LED. Still one of my favourite rides, though I fear it'll never be repeated.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: nmcgann on 07 April, 2011, 06:41:53 am
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: YahudaMoon on 07 April, 2011, 06:47:31 am
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then ? or your on the wrong forum ??

Your welcome here whatever cycling your into anyway

John
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 07:00:17 am
Lack of information about routes. Much less of a problem then it was.

Actually I used to find it quite exciting turning up and having no real idea of what the day was to bring.

I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

Danial. You would really enjoy Bicycle Orienteering. All you get at the start is a slip of paper with an OS Grid Ref.

Doh, forgot the map.....
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: nmcgann on 07 April, 2011, 07:14:22 am
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then ? or your on the wrong forum ??

Your welcome here whatever cycling your into anyway

John

 ;) I used to audax (only up to 200k really), but have turned to timetrialling in the last few years. It's a similar net amount of pain, just compressed and intensified into a much shorter timespan  :thumbsup:  (and my backside never gets long enough to ache  ::-))
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 07:22:18 am
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then ? or your on the wrong forum ??

Your welcome here whatever cycling your into anyway

John

 ;) I used to audax (only up to 200k really), but have turned to timetrialling in the last few years. It's a similar net amount of pain, just compressed and intensified into a much shorter timespan  :thumbsup:  (and my backside never gets long enough to ache  ::-))

 ;D   Timetrialing is far, far more painful than Audax.  ::-)

If you feel the same after a TT as you did after an Audax, you're not TTing hard enough.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Tewdric on 07 April, 2011, 07:35:58 am
I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I can see it now. AUK's flagship event in 2013 - the London-???-London. Our very own magical mystery tour.

That's not such a dumb idea- a 200 in which you only get the routesheet and destination for each stage as you complete the last might be quite fun!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: dasmoth on 07 April, 2011, 08:05:17 am
That's not such a dumb idea- a 200 in which you only get the routesheet and destination for each stage as you complete the last might be quite fun!

Would mean bringing a laptop to GPSify the route at each control.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Bendy Bianchi on 07 April, 2011, 08:21:10 am
Having to buy stupid envelopes, write stupid cheques and prepare stupid SAE's.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 08:22:27 am
I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I can see it now. AUK's flagship event in 2013 - the London-???-London. Our very own magical mystery tour.

That's not such a dumb idea- a 200 in which you only get the routesheet and destination for each stage as you complete the last might be quite fun!

How about an Audax 'Treasure hunt'?

"Where's the next clue?"
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: sub55 on 07 April, 2011, 08:35:43 am
Finding control points in perms.

More specifically ,  going into a village shop to buy something , i dont really want or need in order to get a receipt.   5 miles down the road ,in a flash of inspiration , realised that i did`nt collect a receipt.   Turned around, retraced ,  buy more crap that i neither need nor want to get a receipt! 

Done it twice this year.  I know i`m a prat. 
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: nmcgann on 07 April, 2011, 08:44:58 am
;D   Timetrialing is far, far more painful than Audax.  ::-)

If you feel the same after a TT as you did after an Audax, you're not TTing hard enough.

Oh I don't know - an hour of excruciating torture vs. 9 hours of low-level misery  - quite close overall ;)

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: LEE on 07 April, 2011, 08:50:51 am
Pounding the road right through the night with nothing to look at but the patch of illuminated tarmac ahead. Those are the long hours for me.

Having to clench my teeth (and buttocks) every time I ride through a puddle at high speed because I'm never sure nowadays whether it's just a puddle or a deep crater about to snap my front wheel off and compress my spine by about 6".
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 08:56:21 am
;D   Timetrialing is far, far more painful than Audax.  ::-)

If you feel the same after a TT as you did after an Audax, you're not TTing hard enough.

Oh I don't know - an hour of excruciating torture vs. 9 hours of low-level misery  - quite close overall ;)



Life is exactly what you make it.

If a cyclist's bag is to be unable to stand up after a TT, that's OK.

11 hours of pleasant undulating countryside cycling is my bag.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: L CC on 07 April, 2011, 09:03:47 am
That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Assasin on 07 April, 2011, 09:07:05 am
It Can't be me.
I can't keep up !!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: YahudaMoon on 07 April, 2011, 09:08:13 am
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then ? or your on the wrong forum ??

Your welcome here whatever cycling your into anyway

John

 ;) I used to audax (only up to 200k really), but have turned to timetrialling in the last few years. It's a similar net amount of pain, just compressed and intensified into a much shorter timespan  :thumbsup:  (and my backside never gets long enough to ache  ::-))
Talking of TT. I wanna mix the Long with the TT this year and do that Mersey 24 ?.
Been doing it 4 year though never got round to it. Maybe this year ?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Salvatore on 07 April, 2011, 09:17:40 am
I NEVER look at routesheets until I set off. Spoils the adventure.

I can see it now. AUK's flagship event in 2013 - the London-???-London. Our very own magical mystery tour.

That's not such a dumb idea- a 200 in which you only get the routesheet and destination for each stage as you complete the last might be quite fun!

When I rode the Denmead 400 for the first time, I picked up my routesheet at the start, and didn't have any idea where I was going. The routesheet didn't give many clues, not mentioning the control towns. The first control was at the Friar Tuck, the second was at Tesco (on the outskirts of Frome as I later learned) , and only a sneeky peek at the brevet in the café there told me I was going to the seaside (Weston Super Mare).

For a real adventure, try a 1200 following a routesheet in a language you don't know. But see sig.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jacques on 07 April, 2011, 09:26:24 am
Turning on the radio the morning of a ride & hearing one of those tunes that you hate & then it instantly starts up in your head as soon as you start pedalling. Five hours later & you could happily murder the bloke who wrote it or sings it.

Pet dislike on a route sheet is "R on a LH bend descending steep hill" For some reason I have panic attacks when I read this & have to repeat it several times to myself on the approach in case I get the 2 mixed up!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: frankly frankie on 07 April, 2011, 09:27:47 am
Laney routes.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 07 April, 2011, 11:11:42 am
Laney routes.

You and Rocco.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Assasin on 07 April, 2011, 11:36:16 am
Datebars
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: GrahamG on 07 April, 2011, 11:37:56 am
Cafes that only serve instant coffee. I mean, not even a filter pot. That gets me down more than anything else ;D
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Karla on 07 April, 2011, 12:21:49 pm
Laney routes.

Indeed.  Routes that are slow, tricky to navigate, filled with gravel and probably ice* in winter - all when there's a perfectly good main road that goes the same way.  Cars really aren't that scary, you know.

*Bitter, moi?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 12:31:06 pm
Single track lanes that pass by dairy farms don't make me dislike Audax. I hate lanes, full stop.

In a weird way, this makes my enjoyment of Audax greater, cus I am taking a route different from the routesheet and "Will I arrive at the next control ahead or behind?"
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Martin on 07 April, 2011, 12:34:24 pm
Unsold "Kraftwerk Autobahn" era distance medals
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Needham-matt on 07 April, 2011, 12:35:41 pm
That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)

you're so nasty...I'm not that tedious.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: marcusjb on 07 April, 2011, 12:35:48 pm
Love lanes - one of the reasons I enjoy audax - okay some are a bit too lanesy when they might have had tarmac on them once, but they are now glorified bridleways (Kennet Valley Run had some interesting parts like this recently).

The bit I don't like?  The 3.5 seconds (approx.) in winter when it turns from daytime to nighttime and changes from 3 or 4 degrees above zero to 5 or 6 below soooooo quickly.  And, being winter, you've probably got to deal with that for the next 3-4 hours......
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Panoramix on 07 April, 2011, 12:39:27 pm
Audax routed on busy A roads
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: sub55 on 07 April, 2011, 12:46:46 pm
Cafes that only serve instant coffee. I mean, not even a filter pot. That gets me down more than anything else ;D

Noooooooooo,    although i would generally not argue with your extensive knowledge , GrahamG  ON  this issue ive got too raise an eyebrow.   I want a large mug of strong intant coffee with just enough milk in it  to make it cool enough to drink.   so that i can be on my way.  
None of this fancy modernistic crap for me.  They spend 20 mins crushing the beans for you and running it all through a complicated machine , to justify charging you an extorsionate amount of money for something that s not as good anyway.  The only possible exception to this ,is mcdonalds coffee.   Its surpriseingly good.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: marcusjb on 07 April, 2011, 12:50:18 pm
The only possible exception to this ,is mcdonalds coffee.   Its surpriseingly good.

This is in fact completely true.  My girlfriend was told to give it a go by the CFO of a fairly sizable chain of coffee shops, as he was both impressed and concerned by it.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 01:01:52 pm
Cafes that only serve instant coffee. I mean, not even a filter pot. That gets me down more than anything else ;D

Noooooooooo,    although i would generally not argue with your extensive knowledge , GrahamG  ON  this issue ive got too raise an eyebrow.   I want a large mug of strong intant coffee with just enough milk in it  to make it cool enough to drink.   so that i can be on my way.  
None of this fancy modernistic crap for me.  They spend 20 mins crushing the beans for you and running it all through a complicated machine , to justify charging you an extorsionate amount of money for something that s not as good anyway.  The only possible exception to this ,is mcdonalds coffee.   Its surpriseingly good.

Its 100% Arabica, that's why.  ::-)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: marcusjb on 07 April, 2011, 01:08:41 pm
Audax routed on busy A roads

Funny how some people say they hate lanes, and some say they hate A Roads!  Can't please everyone!

I'm with you - in general, I am far happier in lanes.  I ride on main roads in busy London most days - so lanes are a real escape for me.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Simonb on 07 April, 2011, 01:11:26 pm
Needing a poo.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: AndyH on 07 April, 2011, 01:30:05 pm
Needing a poo.
Given the line under your avatar, I thought that needing a poo might be the highlight of an Audax for you  ;)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 07 April, 2011, 01:31:36 pm
Some people hate lanes. Some people hate main roads, If you take the lanes and dislike it, or take the main roads and dislike it, its your own silly fault.

Study the locations of the controls and a map and go the way you prefer. Its a 'free route' isn't it?

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 07 April, 2011, 01:37:47 pm
That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)

I remember I once wrote:

Dear *** I have a dreadful moan
I want to cycle on my own
You've dogged me for two thousand K
Just take the hint and GO AWAY....
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: GrahamG on 07 April, 2011, 01:41:50 pm
Cafes that only serve instant coffee. I mean, not even a filter pot. That gets me down more than anything else ;D

Noooooooooo,    although i would generally not argue with your extensive knowledge , GrahamG  ON  this issue ive got too raise an eyebrow.   

I've far from extensive knowledge on anything (bar maybe boring work stuff), but after spending 25 years of my life thinking that I didn't actually like coffee thanks to only ever sampling instant... I'm now playing catch up with my new found favourite hot beverage. I need a little luxury on an audax ride, dammit! ;D
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ray 6701 on 07 April, 2011, 01:49:18 pm
Early starts: I'm not much of a morning person.
Main roads: I prefer to get away from the traffic/towns & out in to the sticks to see the views & pretty little villages.
Steep 18%+ descents: I just don't like em  :hand: unless they are long & not too twisty with good lines of sight  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Karla on 07 April, 2011, 02:33:31 pm
That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)

That wasn't chivalry, it was because my big lights had recently broken so I was using my backup headtorch and wanted to follow your illumination!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 07 April, 2011, 02:57:12 pm
Queueing for 20 mins while the cafe staff make 2 fancy coffees for the "connoisseurs" in front of me.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: GrahamG on 07 April, 2011, 03:14:18 pm
I can't find a middle digit smiley!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DanialW on 07 April, 2011, 03:57:53 pm
A diet of all-night garage food.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: LEE on 07 April, 2011, 04:31:27 pm
If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.


Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Deano on 07 April, 2011, 04:43:15 pm
If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

Absolutely!  Also, it's hard to ride alongside one another and chat on (most) A-roads.

If I'm on my tod or in a hurry I don't mind a bit of A-road (and B-road) bashing.  And of course, it's always a source of amusement to pop out of a side-road onto a main road only to encounter [name removed] steaming past you.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: frankly frankie on 07 April, 2011, 04:47:09 pm
Yes, taking a cue from several messages above ...

Controls that major on TLC


Datebars

Fig rolls are OK though.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: recumbentim on 07 April, 2011, 05:12:20 pm
Nothing, or i wouldn,t do them.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Philip Whiteman on 07 April, 2011, 05:20:33 pm
The very very very slow controller.  You know the sort I mean - the ones that take your card and then fumble for a bit, realise that they have lost their pen, stamp the wrong box, loose their glasses, can't find your name on the register and then suggest that you don't exist or you are riding the wrong event. Even worse is when they have to phone GHQ to test your existance. All in all it takes twenty minutes to stamp the card by which time all the cake has been eaten and their is a queue fifty deep behind you.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 07 April, 2011, 05:23:03 pm
If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

+1

(Although the DIY/Mesh system is quite good for when you fancy that sort of thing.)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jogler on 07 April, 2011, 05:35:04 pm
If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.




+1
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: The Seldom Killer on 07 April, 2011, 05:47:45 pm
A diet of all-night garage food.

The diet of all night garage food served at a station in the middle of nowhere where the staff won't open the door and swear up and down that the only thing that will fit through the massive night service box is a receipt. You're then left with the choice of buying some charcoal briquettes or look on with soul crushing dismay as they open the tray a crack and squeeze a sausage roll and a twix bar through the gap, realise their folly of their vindictiveness when it comes to the bottle of powerade, open it all the way and then pass it back to you. All because you disturbed their appreciation of a culture magazine at 2.30am when by rights they should have at least half an hour clear before the regular truck pops in.

You will pay for that sunshine, oh yes you will.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 07 April, 2011, 05:56:20 pm
A diet of all-night garage food.
...
All because you disturbed their appreciation of a culture magazine at 2.30am when by rights they should have at least half an hour clear before the regular truck pops in.

You will pay for that sunshine, oh yes you will.
I witnessed an ambulance crew receiving this sort of treatment once. I nearly said rude words very loudly.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: De Sisti on 07 April, 2011, 06:19:25 pm
Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat  :-\

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then? Or your you're on the wrong forum ??

Your You're welcome here, whatever cycling your into anyway

John
;)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 07 April, 2011, 06:23:59 pm
If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.


+1

Yup. When I started Audaxing it was a revelation to discover I could be out all day riding though glorious country lanes and roads with barely a car to be seen.


Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: The Seldom Killer on 07 April, 2011, 07:38:42 pm
I think the biggst revelation on my first audax was the disporportionate number of left turns required to ride across the Fens. Also hateful.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Andrij on 07 April, 2011, 07:55:09 pm
The near-obligatory climb immediately after a lovely cafe stop.

Other than that, nothing.
 
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Datameister on 07 April, 2011, 07:57:28 pm
Early starts: I'm not much of a morning person.

Fungus: Master of Understatement
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Andrew Br on 07 April, 2011, 11:07:58 pm
I've only done one audax (200km) but I hated:-

1) At the penultimate control, the Coop store in Wheelock, I had the following conversation with the cashier as I bought the obligatory flap jack/milk shake/can of cola/Ginster's/etc
Him: "Lots of cyclists in here today."
Me: "Yes, there's a bike event on. When were the last ones here ?"
Him; "About two hours ago."

2) An hour later, in the pouring rain, wondering if I'd missed a turn in the (pitch) dark. Did I suggest to the demoralised GF that a) we stop and go back a few miles to check or b) we press on and hope ? We did b) and it turned out to be the correct answer.

3) At the last control, the Shell garage at Dean Row next to the Unicorn pub, the till crashed and it took 15 minutes before it would reboot and give me two receipts for two packs of Kettle Chips. Demoralised GF (outside looking after the bikes) was really losing the will to live.

4) Getting back to the car in the formerly packed layby, to find that mine was the only one there. I started the engine, turned the heater and seats on full and put the DM GF in the car while I hung the bikes on the carrier.

Despite DM GF's experience, we did a 300km ride the following month and DD a few weeks after that.
I'd have gone on to do more audax last year if I hadn't had my bike nicked in January and I fully intend to start this year.
I've ordered an England Audax shirt, how can I not ?  ;)

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Martin on 08 April, 2011, 12:33:04 am

Yup. When I started Audaxing it was a revelation to discover I could be out all day riding though glorious country lanes and roads with barely a car to be seen.


presumably not in Kent or Sussex?

(actually there are miles and miles of lovely lanes in either; just that they are connected by some pretty horrid roads) the first time I did one of Pam Pilbeam's rides I remember thinking "I'm only 80km from home; where are all the cars?"
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Euan Uzami on 08 April, 2011, 01:13:13 am
...  The only possible exception to this ,is mcdonalds coffee.   Its surpriseingly good.
The latte's ok but I find the normal tastes of fags?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: LEE on 08 April, 2011, 08:49:41 am
The near-obligatory climb immediately after a lovely cafe stop.

The Dean 300 is a useful reminder of this as you get back on your bike in Chepstow High-street, trying to digest an All-Day-Breakfast  to be confronted by the sudden realisation that you are at river level and the Severn Bridge crossing is far from river level.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 01:29:38 pm
Queueing for 20 mins while the cafe staff make 2 fancy coffees for the "connoisseurs" in front of me.



There's 'fix' for that.

Get your card stamped and then go on to an eatery that you've found while planning your route. Usually a 'Greasey Joe's' chuck wagon in a lay-by. Instant coffee.

And sausage & egg baps.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Greenbank on 08 April, 2011, 01:47:20 pm
Queueing for 20 mins while the cafe staff make 2 fancy coffees for the "connoisseurs" in front of me.



There's 'fix' for that.

Get your card stamped and then go on to an eatery that you've found while planning your route. Usually a 'Greasey Joe's' chuck wagon in a lay-by. Instant coffee.

Except where there's no stamp and you're supposed to be collecting a receipt from that cafe (and there are no other places nearby to get another receipt from).
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: AndyH on 08 April, 2011, 01:56:38 pm
then go on to an eatery that you've found while planning your route

I usually let the organiser plan my route. I then follow it around the best lanes they can find.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 02:23:54 pm
Queueing for 20 mins while the cafe staff make 2 fancy coffees for the "connoisseurs" in front of me.



There's 'fix' for that.

Get your card stamped and then go on to an eatery that you've found while planning your route. Usually a 'Greasey Joe's' chuck wagon in a lay-by. Instant coffee.

Except where there's no stamp and you're supposed to be collecting a receipt from that cafe (and there are no other places nearby to get another receipt from).

Clever organisers in the Midlands print out a couple of sheets of labels. They take them to the cafe beforehand and the riders remove a sticky label and affix it onto the brevet card.
Then we can be on our way in no time at all.

The other 'fix' is...

Let the show-offs and 'fly boys' get well ahead while you amble up to the control to breeze through totally relaxed.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: TOBY on 08 April, 2011, 02:44:32 pm
Backseat Audaxers*

*no I don't mean Stokers
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: TOBY on 08 April, 2011, 03:16:19 pm
Altitude points on BP's  GRIN

(edited to remove the smiley, cos given the tone of some comments in here, some might not take my post seriously.)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 08 April, 2011, 03:27:46 pm
Fixers who think they deserve a point for a pan-flat BP.  ;D

(edited to add the smiley, cos given the tone of some comments in here, some might take my post seriously. )

(edited to admit that I can't trump Toby's edit)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Billy Weir on 08 April, 2011, 05:57:50 pm
The consistency of sudocreme.  It just feels wrong - somewhere between a solid and a liquid.  Not only that, but on application early of a chilly morning, it has an effect not unlike that of waxing strip.  And it has a slightly unsettling smell.  Definitely not a case of "I love the smell of sudocreme in the morning".
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 06:09:21 pm
A 'point' is awarded for every 100km ridden in a Randonneur.

There's a list of points winners on the website, starting at 50 points in the season.

I appreciate there are many AUK members who set this list as a season's goal, and good on them.

Its 'each to his own' and mine is collecting badges.

I have chatted with lots of riders who ride 200s, 300s etc every weekend. It is their hobby and I congratulate them.
Riders I speak to on Randos don't mind at all when I tell them I ride 5 or 6 calendar events each season and prefer half day 100s. If they are thinking I'm a 'part timer', that's up to them but I pay my dues and enjoy my riding. That's what makes Audax worthwhile.

I doubt if I will ever appear on the points list. What is important to me is the availability of riding a 5 hour 100 at the drop of a hat, courtesy of the DIY Organiser.

In gaining the R300 badge and R1000 series badge, I needed to ride two 300 randos. They were done and I now have the badges. There are still Populaire badges I haven't got. My enjoyment will continue for a few years yet.

I admire the tenacity of overnight riders. Its just not my thing within Audax. I get plenty of night-time riding getting to work every day between September and April. ;)

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 06:12:42 pm
The consistency of sudocreme.  It just feels wrong - somewhere between a solid and a liquid.  Not only that, but on application early of a chilly morning, it has an effect not unlike that of waxing strip.  And it has a slightly unsettling smell.  Definitely not a case of "I love the smell of sudocreme in the morning".

You should be thankful its not non-Newtonian. ;)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jaded on 08 April, 2011, 06:16:43 pm
There's a list of points winners on the website, starting at 50 points in the season.

I doubt if I will ever appear on the points list.

So you don't think you'll ever get any points?

I'm on the points list and I've only got 10 points.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: border-rider on 08 April, 2011, 06:26:09 pm
A 'point' is awarded for every 100km ridden in a Randonneur.

Only over 200k, mon ami

Quote
There's a list of points winners on the website, starting at 50 points in the season.

I appreciate there are many AUK members who set this list as a season's goal, and good on them.

Its 'each to his own' and mine is collecting badges.


My suspicion is that people have all sorts of goals and personal incentives. A handful will win trophies for points or AAA, or other things, but many will have personal goals of getting Randonneur 5000 and 10,000 awards or Super Randonneur awards.  Then there are the AUK and ACP Brevet 5000s and the Brevet 25,000 etc which require a whole mix of rides.  Others manage to get round a 200 every month for the RRTY. These all require BR and BRM events, of course.  Do people do them for the badge or the experience ? Dunno, but I'm not sure it's so very different from what you do.

Audax is all about providing structure to riding - not just events and validation but also routes, company and incentives.  It's ace.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 06:30:42 pm
I've got to get rid of 8 MidMesh cards. I might ride a couple of 200s later in the summer.

06:00 start, 17:00 finish, back in time to cook Dad's evening meal.

He can make porridge in the microwave, but I daren't let him loose on the gas hob...  :hand:


PS. I've been to the bike shop this afternoon to watch the spokes glinting. ( that's the saying, but now they are mostly black, I guess its 'look at the alloy gleaming' ). Really soothes me down.  :)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 08 April, 2011, 06:31:38 pm
Audax is all about providing structure to riding - not just events and validation but also routes, company and incentives.  It's ace.

+1
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 08 April, 2011, 06:34:24 pm
The consistency of sudocreme.  It just feels wrong - somewhere between a solid and a liquid.  Not only that, but on application early of a chilly morning, it has an effect not unlike that of waxing strip.  And it has a slightly unsettling smell.  Definitely not a case of "I love the smell of sudocreme in the morning".

I've managed without for quite a while. The arse seems to have got less tender with age.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 06:39:12 pm
Audax is all about providing structure to riding - not just events and validation but also routes, company and incentives.  It's ace.

+1


Can't agree more.

After being posted to foreign lands, on return to Blighty, AUK was at the top of the list for immediate resumption of activities.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 06:42:11 pm
What I really, really DETEST about Audax is that sickly feeling at the finish of a calendar ride of "Is it two weeks to wait for the next".
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Billy Weir on 08 April, 2011, 06:42:36 pm
Audax is all about providing structure to riding - not just events and validation but also routes, company and incentives.

And cake.

Quote
It's ace.

+4,507
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DanialW on 08 April, 2011, 06:46:59 pm
I love Sudocreme.

Has anyone tried Assos arse cream? That has a touch of menthol in it, which makes for a deeply unsettling experience on application.

Works though.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 08 April, 2011, 07:39:44 pm
I love Sudocreme.

Has anyone tried Assos arse cream? That has a touch of menthol in it, which makes for a deeply unsettling experience on application.

Works though.

The last potion I smeared on my private parts was Dura-glit.

Have I spelled that correct?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 08 April, 2011, 07:50:29 pm
I love Sudocreme.

Has anyone tried Assos arse cream? That has a touch of menthol in it, which makes for a deeply unsettling experience on application.

Works though.

The last potion I smeared on my private parts was Dura-glit.

Have I spelled that correct?

Were you on the Brass Monkey?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Greenbank on 08 April, 2011, 09:40:57 pm
The consistency of sudocreme.  It just feels wrong - somewhere between a solid and a liquid.  Not only that, but on application early of a chilly morning, it has an effect not unlike that of waxing strip.  And it has a slightly unsettling smell.  Definitely not a case of "I love the smell of sudocreme in the morning".

I've managed without for quite a while. The arse seems to have got less tender with age.

+1 (for the first bit about managing without, I can't testify to the age thing).

I smeared it on for the first few rides because I'd read enough people talking about it that it seemed necessary. I forgot to apply it for my 3rd 200 and didn't notice anything bad happen so I've never applied it again.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: border-rider on 08 April, 2011, 09:51:48 pm
I've never used it myself either; never felt the need.

I suspect it is non-Newtonian, though, not that that should be an issue
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 08 April, 2011, 10:17:36 pm
I suspect it is non-Newtonian...

Does that mean it defies gravity? Perhaps I'm missing a trick. Hills are getting harder.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: dasmoth on 08 April, 2011, 10:18:36 pm
It's all about flow-properties:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Newtonian_fluid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Newtonian_fluid).
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: frankly frankie on 08 April, 2011, 10:41:51 pm
I thought Bag Balm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_Balm) was the stuff? 

So I'm told.  My body is an unguent-free zone.  :sick:
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 08 April, 2011, 10:53:04 pm
I've not used Sudocrem. I tried it once. It HURT! Things that weren't hurty hurt. Never again.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Martin on 08 April, 2011, 10:56:35 pm
just a thought people;

the top 4 non sticky threads on this board are not connected with any of this season's events; and it's probably the busiest AUK month in 4 years. I imagine we are almost all going to be out this weekend, so let's get back to business eh?  :)

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 08 April, 2011, 10:58:24 pm
just a thought people;

the top 4 non sticky threads on this board are not connected with any of this season's events; and it's probably the busiest AUK month in 4 years. I imagine we are almost all going to be out this weekend, so let's get back to business eh?  :)



Spoilsport.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Feline on 08 April, 2011, 11:27:49 pm
I have used Assos arse cream quite a lot since starting cycling.

I am finding that now my arse is clearly made of leather because I can ride 200k on a brand new Brooks without noticing anything untoward that I probably don't need the cream any more. There was definitely a time when I did need it though. It makes your arse feel really cold when you first go out in the winter, it seems to be made of something weird that retains a 'wet' feeling all day whilst remaining cool and never seeming to warm up. Personally I think it is about having a good chamois rather than a good cream. I will be tempted to use it on the really long rides coming up though just in case I regret not doing!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: ParrettPedaller on 08 April, 2011, 11:36:40 pm
I have used Assos arse cream quite a lot since starting cycling.

I am finding that now my arse is clearly made of leather because I can ride 200k on a brand new Brooks without noticing anything untoward that I probably don't need the cream any more. There was definitely a time when I did need it though. It makes your arse feel really cold when you first go out in the winter, it seems to be made of something weird that retains a 'wet' feeling all day whilst remaining cool and never seeming to warm up. Personally I think it is about having a good chamois rather than a good cream. I will be tempted to use it on the really long rides coming up though just in case I regret not doing!

Probably too much detail  :o  :facepalm:, though interesting nonetheless   :-*
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DrMekon on 08 April, 2011, 11:40:52 pm
I prefer the smell of Bepanthen Kamilosan, probably because it reminds me of my boys as that's what we used on them when they were babies. I don't think I need it, but along with leaving my big lock at home, it's part of what signifies to me that I am going for a "proper" ride.

I suspect these barrier creams become more useful the sweatier and saltier you are. I am never very sweaty, (I have happily worn the winter weight yacf jersey on a 200 on the hottest day of the year) and haven't ridden more than a 300 yet. I always pack a tube in case things get a bit raw, but it's never happened. Rather have it in the bag than not though, just in case.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Oaky on 09 April, 2011, 12:50:09 am
I put on sudocrem before I set off for any hot weather 200 and any ride over 200 regardless of weather.  I'm convinced it helped me on my 400 last year, which was a really hot day (I just wish I'd taken a bit extra along to top up later in the ride).

I've never tried any alternatives, but we still haven't run out of Sudocrem from the kids' time in nappies yet.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 09 April, 2011, 07:18:42 am
I still have half a pot of Chamois Crème somewhere from when I had real Chamois leather patches in my shorts. In fact, I have a pair of bibshorts ( photo on application ) with a real chamois patch and BUTTON UP BRACES  :o  in my wardrobe.

Chamois crème was necessary to apply after washing to ‘supple up’ the leather, cus if not, it went crisp and cracked.

After getting the chamois soft again, immediately after ‘semi-drying’ on the windowsill, the crème would remain and double up as a lubricant and bum soother during the next ride.

I guess the sudocreme thing is a progression from ‘the old days’.

These days, I wear Lusso ProGel shorts and apply nowt to them or my rear end.

It MUST be an age thing.

The only potion that I use is Boots Double Action Athlete’s foot cream, and that goes between my toes.
This stuff is also useful for those who get Jock Itch, a similar fungal infection to Athletes foot that affects the groin.

I got this info off an Irish skin Doctor, Dermot O’Logical.


Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2011, 12:34:01 pm

The only potion that I use is Boots Double Action Athlete’s foot cream, and that goes between my toes.
This stuff is also useful for those who get Jock Itch, a similar fungal infection to Athletes foot that affects the groin.

I got this info off an Irish skin Doctor, Dermot O’Logical.

Aka CLOTrimazole

Srsly Canesten/clotrimazole is good for athlete's foot, jock dhobi itch, thrush and ringworm...
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: MattH on 09 April, 2011, 02:32:45 pm
I do tend to cream myself up (sudocrem is my balm of choice, though I do have some Assos minty arse lard that came with some shorts). I only bother on 400k+ rides, and then it's really only needed on the hot ones or multi day rides (like my usual back-to-back 400k end of January rides that are definitely NOT hot!). I survived LEL and Mille Cymru with only minor marking and soreness.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 10 April, 2011, 01:16:57 pm
Fixers who think they deserve a point for a pan-flat BP.  ;D

(edited to add the smiley, cos given the tone of some comments in here, some might take my post seriously. )

(edited to admit that I can't trump Toby's edit)

(http://i1085.photobucket.com/albums/j433/Lighthorse2/P1043_10-04-11.jpg)

Went on a hilly 100 this morning before lunch.

Where's my Godamned Grimpy point?  >:(


That photo was taken about a mile from Avon Park Drag Strip south of Stratford upon Avon.
Which makes me think.
130 up-and-downs of the dragway should be 100km.
What a wonderful thing 'DIY by GPS' is.....

260 traverses will get me two points for a 200km 'DIY by GPS'.
Better take my camping stove in the back of my car with the bike.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mmmmartin on 10 April, 2011, 07:32:02 pm
I am finding that now my arse is clearly made of leather
Yet another post that is meaningless without a photograph.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Bendy Bianchi on 11 April, 2011, 01:24:20 pm
Sportive / club / any other riders who turn up without a routesheet, who then proceed to zip along at the front of the field without a clue where they are going causing havoc for everyone else - or, maybe slightly more sensibly but equally annoyingly, have to sit at the back of the pack being towed all day.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Greenbank on 11 April, 2011, 01:31:42 pm
That photo was taken about a mile from Avon Park Drag Strip south of Stratford upon Avon.
Which makes me think.
130 up-and-downs of the dragway should be 100km.
What a wonderful thing 'DIY by GPS' is.....

260 traverses will get me two points for a 200km 'DIY by GPS'.
Better take my camping stove in the back of my car with the bike.

I seem to remember reading somewhere (regs, handbook, AUK website) that multiple loops of the same course (or controls) aren't allowed in Audaxes but I can't find a reference to it.

Otherwise I'd love to do 19 laps of Richmond Park as a DIY 200.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 11 April, 2011, 01:35:04 pm
- or, maybe slightly more sensibly but equally annoyingly, have to sit at the back of the pack being towed all day.
+1

last summer I did a BP with a huge field, and several times riders would cruise up to the back of me+otherAUK, and just sit on our wheels, grinning inanely, not even saying hello. No routesheet in sight. (i would have minded a lot less if they were struggling lanterns rouges)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 11 April, 2011, 02:43:55 pm


I seem to remember reading somewhere (regs, handbook, AUK website) that multiple loops of the same course (or controls) aren't allowed in Audaxes but I can't find a reference to it.

Otherwise I'd love to do 19 laps of Richmond Park as a DIY 200.

It's a 'shouldn't' rather than a 'must not', but you'd be unlikely to get a BR of that description past any of the fat controllers.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: border-rider on 11 April, 2011, 04:14:24 pm
Mersey Roads ?

 :demon:
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Greenbank on 11 April, 2011, 04:16:05 pm
Mersey Roads ?

 :demon:

They also publish finishing times. Naughty.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 11 April, 2011, 04:56:14 pm
Mersey Roads ?

 :demon:

They also publish finishing times. Naughty.

It comes under special rules and dispensations governing going round in circles.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: MattH on 11 April, 2011, 04:59:43 pm
Mersey Roads ?

 :demon:

They also publish finishing times. Naughty.

Surely the Mersey Roads finishing times are all about 24 hours after the start time, even for the fastest riders?  :)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: SteveS on 11 April, 2011, 05:23:54 pm
The only thing I dislike is commercial controls where the cafe closes half an hour before before the control does. Of course that's not a problem for most of the field.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Bendy Bianchi on 11 April, 2011, 05:28:16 pm
I had that last year on the Gladestry 200km - even at the front-ish of the field - we arrived really drenched and cold at 5.35 pm "sorry, we closed at 5.30". :sick:
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 11 April, 2011, 05:33:51 pm
That photo was taken about a mile from Avon Park Drag Strip south of Stratford upon Avon.
Which makes me think.
130 up-and-downs of the dragway should be 100km.
What a wonderful thing 'DIY by GPS' is.....

260 traverses will get me two points for a 200km 'DIY by GPS'.
Better take my camping stove in the back of my car with the bike.

I seem to remember reading somewhere (regs, handbook, AUK website) that multiple loops of the same course (or controls) aren't allowed in Audaxes but I can't find a reference to it.

Otherwise I'd love to do 19 laps of Richmond Park as a DIY 200.

Not permitted.

Reg 5.7 "through a series of controls"

Reg 5.9 "excursion on the public highway"

AUK Guidelines

5.  "Off road events have a route consisting of not less than 50% designated Bridleway, Byway or any other right of way open to cyclists as is acceptable to the U.K. Events Secretary as Off Road or Rough Stuff."

So its 0% designated cycleway open to cyclists.




What's the speed limit in Richmond Park?  20mph. That should be possible, it's a designated cycleway.   ;)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 11 April, 2011, 05:59:18 pm
Although I believe there is guidance against using repeated loops, I don't see the rules as intending to forbid an event held in Richmond Park.
(e.g. a rough stuff event that had no highway sections would seem to be within the spirit of the rules).

If you wanted to use Alo's interpretation you could just have an info control on the road 10m outside the park.

(Im glad to see that this topic has returned to practical discussions  :thumbsup: )
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 11 April, 2011, 06:22:03 pm
Although I believe there is guidance against using repeated loops, I don't see the rules as intending to forbid an event held in Richmond Park.
(e.g. a rough stuff event that had no highway sections would seem to be within the spirit of the rules).

If you wanted to use Alo's interpretation you could just have an info control on the road 10m outside the park.

(Im glad to see that this topic has returned to practical discussions  :thumbsup: )
No need for info controls on a DIY by GPS. All the data is on the .gpx

Sounds like a nice day out for the West London people. Is there a cafe and ice cream stand?

The one with the GPS could organise it as a Perm and sign everyone's card every two laps ( as a 'reliable witness' ), at the ice cream stand. This would mean you would all need to roll in a group with a big claxon at the front to scare away the wild animals and kids with footballs.


Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Gareth Rees on 11 April, 2011, 06:31:32 pm
Something like this, maybe: 160 loops of the Inner Circle in Regents Park (http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/05/23/100-miles-of-nowhere-inner-circle-regents-park-london/).
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: marcusjb on 11 April, 2011, 06:33:40 pm
Something like this, maybe: 160 loops of the Inner Circle in Regents Park (http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/05/23/100-miles-of-nowhere-inner-circle-regents-park-london/).

You'd get dizzy!

I get bored after 3 laps of Richmond Park - particularly if I'm just going one way (usually ACW), I tend to mix it up these days and switch direction every lap.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 11 April, 2011, 06:45:08 pm
Richmond Park.

As a '15 minute later' afterthought, it could be a good advertising event. Tell the local rag.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Greenbank on 11 April, 2011, 07:34:23 pm
Otherwise I'd love to do 19 laps of Richmond Park as a DIY 200.

Not permitted.

Reg 5.7 "through a series of controls"

DIY by GPS would sort that. I'd nominate a control at 3 different locations on each lap in the park to guarantee distance and eliminate shortcuts (the roundabouts nearest Roehampton Gate, Richmond Gate and Kingston Gate).

Reg 5.9 "excursion on the public highway"

It is a public highway.

5.  "Off road events have a route consisting of not less than 50% designated Bridleway, Byway or any other right of way open to cyclists as is acceptable to the U.K. Events Secretary as Off Road or Rough Stuff."

So its 0% designated cycleway open to cyclists.

No, the park road is a public road (but the park has limited opening times for cars). Cyclists are allowed in 24 hours a day all year round except after 8pm (until before dawn) for a few weeks in February and November whilst there is a deer cull going on.

What's the speed limit in Richmond Park?  20mph. That should be possible, it's a designated cycleway.   ;)

The speed limit on the road is 20mph and applies to all vehicles (motorised or not). The speed limit on the paths around the outside of the park is 10mph and applies to bicycles. It's easy to pass 20mph down the hills.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Euan Uzami on 11 April, 2011, 07:51:20 pm
I had that last year on the Gladestry 200km - even at the front-ish of the field - we arrived really drenched and cold at 5.35 pm "sorry, we closed at 5.30". :sick:
at rhayader?  :-\
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 11 April, 2011, 09:38:48 pm
Something like this, maybe: 160 loops of the Inner Circle in Regents Park (http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/05/23/100-miles-of-nowhere-inner-circle-regents-park-london/).

You'd get dizzy!

I get bored after 3 laps of Richmond Park - particularly if I'm just going one way (usually ACW), I tend to mix it up these days and switch direction every lap.

On a good day its 3 laps, a coffee from the kiosk by pembroke lodge (filter is good, cappuccino less so),  then a last easy lap and home, about 50km all in. Switching direction each lap takes it up to 5, my record is 6. As it happens that was on a bitterly cold winters day when the park was shrouded in freezing fog. Go figure.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 12 April, 2011, 07:11:49 am
One of my fave afternoon training runs is round the Birmingham Outer Circle bus route. From home-town and once round its 50km.
The bus timetable is 2:30. I get it done in 2:15ish.
Don't bother with stopping for coffee, it not long enough.

Now DIY by GPS is available, two laps ( one in each direction ) is a 100km BP. About  five hours on Friday afternoons.


Don't get too uptight about riding round in circles all day. The MidMesh Stratford-Measham-Alcester-Stratford triangle is 155 km. Two of these is 310km.. Home is on one of the strings, so a stop-off for coffee and nosh is en-route.
This is, to my understanding, why the MidMesh was created. Take for example Stratford-Evesham- Alcester-Stratford, 55km on paper, 51km in reality. Ride round this triangle ad nauseum watching the Damsons ripen.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: kcass on 12 April, 2011, 08:29:09 am
Otherwise I'd love to do 19 laps of Richmond Park as a DIY 200.

Not permitted.

Reg 5.7 "through a series of controls"

DIY by GPS would sort that. I'd nominate a control at 3 different locations on each lap in the park to guarantee distance and eliminate shortcuts (the roundabouts nearest Roehampton Gate, Richmond Gate and Kingston Gate).

57 controls on a 200 might be deemed excessive by the powers that be.







Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Philip Whiteman on 15 April, 2011, 10:33:32 am
On the driest day of the year, on an event that does not specify mudguards and somebody angrily complains, "you shouldn't be riding without mudguards".
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 15 April, 2011, 10:43:03 am
The only thing I dislike is commercial controls where the cafe closes half an hour before before the control does. Of course that's not a problem for most of the field.

Yup, it's only the back markers who need the respite the most who suffer. Stuff 'em. Serves them right for being slowcoaches.

The memory of the Poor Student 2008 will haunt me forever, of looking wistfully through the window of the tea rooms at Chipping Camden at a room full of AUKs making merry behind locked doors, and then slinking off into the gloom to score a can of creamed rice from the co-op. Sob.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: ian_oli on 15 April, 2011, 11:40:07 am
The only thing I dislike is commercial controls where the cafe closes half an hour before before the control does. Of course that's not a problem for most of the field.

Yup, it's only the back markers who need the respite the most who suffer. Stuff 'em. Serves them right for being slowcoaches.

The memory of the Poor Student 2008 will haunt me forever, of looking wistfully through the window of the tea rooms at Chipping Camden at a room full of AUKs making merry behind locked doors, and then slinking off into the gloom to score a can of creamed rice from the co-op. Sob.

I was the last one let in that day, had a good gloat  :demon:

Mind you when I did it as perm it was the Coop or nothing
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Philip Whiteman on 15 April, 2011, 11:54:25 am
Only to find that somebody has finished up all the bread pudding.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: DanialW on 15 April, 2011, 12:28:52 pm
The horror of discovering that you're riding with someone who wants to talk about their bikebuilding project. Big yawn.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: arvid on 15 April, 2011, 01:55:46 pm
The horror of discovering that you're riding with someone who wants to talk about their bikebuilding project. Big yawn.

FTFY  :smug:
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: dasmoth on 15 April, 2011, 02:04:38 pm
If every AUK carried a QRcode or similar on their jersey, not only would it make LEL controls easier to administer, but there would be enough capacity to encode a list of acceptable topics of conversation.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jasmine on 15 April, 2011, 02:20:17 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Simonb on 15 April, 2011, 04:06:49 pm
Uber-competitive points chasers. Yawn.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Feline on 15 April, 2011, 04:15:04 pm
On behalf of someone who is an organiser ... people who turn up on the day expecting to be able to enter on the line, not because they had some unforeseeable change in personal circumstance that suddenly allowed them to ride, oh no. But because they were unprepared to play the weather lottery and wanted to just see how things looked on the day and turn up only if they felt like it and things look favourable. (On an early season 100k this year nearly 100 riders did this  :o )
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jogler on 15 April, 2011, 04:19:57 pm
Others EOL due to not knowing untill literally the night before if they will be working or not on the day of the event
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: phil d on 15 April, 2011, 04:22:42 pm
Others EOL due to not knowing untill literally the night before if they will be working or not on the day of the event

In general organisers don't mind this (at least, this one doesn't).  But that is not what Feline is describing.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jogler on 15 April, 2011, 04:26:43 pm
In reality a stone-cold out of the blue EOL can be avoided if the organiser has email.
My experience of using this is to ask if EOL is ok when I know I can attend & turn up with an sae,entry form & the correct amount  of £ for the entry fee,all with prior agreement
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 15 April, 2011, 04:28:02 pm
The horror of discovering you're riding with someone who wants to give you a turn by turn breakdown on all the variations of the route over the last 10 years...
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Feline on 15 April, 2011, 04:28:30 pm
In reality a stone-cold out of the blue EOL can be avoided if the organiser has email.
My experience of using this is to ask if EOL is ok when I know I can attend & turn up with an sae,entry form & the correct amount  of £ for the entry fee,all with prior agreement

Yeah this is not what I was meaning, and the organiser in question had both email and phone number printed in the calendar.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: jogler on 15 April, 2011, 04:33:50 pm
I know what you were meaning. I reckon having 100 geezers turning up for EOL almost suggests an element of conspiracy ::-)
EOL is  I magine for "genuine" last minute circumstances but human nature being what it is (crap design) there's always the chance that chancers will chance it.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: phil d on 15 April, 2011, 04:37:17 pm
In reality a stone-cold out of the blue EOL can be avoided if the organiser has email.
My experience of using this is to ask if EOL is ok when I know I can attend & turn up with an sae,entry form & the correct amount  of £ for the entry fee,all with prior agreement

In my experience EOLs very rarely bring entry form or SAE with them  >:(  In fairness, though, I find that most do contact me in advance, usually to check that I do accept EOL.  My stock response is that I don't encourage them, but won't turn anyone away.  They may have a delayed start, and may have no brevet.

But back to my pet hate about audax - entrants who can't be arsed to include the correct size of envelope, or supply envelopes that aren't self-seal.  When you're stuffing up to 100 envelopes it's so much easier if they are all the same(ish) size.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Feline on 15 April, 2011, 04:37:24 pm
I know what you were meaning. I reckon having 100 geezers turning up for EOL almost suggests an element of conspiracy ::-)
EOL is  I magine for "genuine" last minute circumstances but human nature being what it is (crap design) there's always the chance that chancers will chance it.

I think with this particular event loads of people decided they would only ride if there was no risk of ice or rain and couldn't be bothered to send in an application and risk losing their money if they didn't ride. Of course this makes an event almost impossible to organise!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 15 April, 2011, 04:42:15 pm
In this day and age of online entry there really is very little requirement for EOL at all. Even an entry a couple of days previously will enable the org to get his paperwork prepped before the day. No EOL without prior arrangement seems a reasonable stance ESPECIALLY for AUK members. Most events don't cost that much to enter in advance so leaving it to decide whether to ride or not on the day is completely out of order, ISTM.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: ian_oli on 15 April, 2011, 04:46:03 pm
I know what you were meaning. I reckon having 100 geezers turning up for EOL almost suggests an element of conspiracy ::-)
EOL is  I magine for "genuine" last minute circumstances but human nature being what it is (crap design) there's always the chance that chancers will chance it.

I think with this particular event loads of people decided they would only ride if there was no risk of ice or rain and couldn't be bothered to send in an application and risk losing their money if they didn't ride. Of course this makes an event almost impossible to organise!

Nothing to stop the org charging a decent premium for EOL.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ivo on 15 April, 2011, 05:03:41 pm
On behalf of someone who is an organiser ... people who turn up on the day expecting to be able to enter on the line, not because they had some unforeseeable change in personal circumstance that suddenly allowed them to ride, oh no. But because they were unprepared to play the weather lottery and wanted to just see how things looked on the day and turn up only if they felt like it and things look favourable. (On an early season 100k this year nearly 100 riders did this  :o )

+1

Even an e-mail or phonecall that someone might come is a great help. This enables you to prepare a self adhesive sticker with the rider's details so you at least save some time when they do enter.
Worst are riders who book accomodation but don't bother to enter the ride.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Ian H on 15 April, 2011, 10:17:47 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

A friend of mine was once stopped by a policeman as she exited a public gents. It  was in a deserted town in the middle of the night, and an honest mistake, but he seemed to find it highly objectionable.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: teethgrinder on 15 April, 2011, 10:20:18 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

A friend of mine was once stopped by a policeman as she exited a public gents. It  was in a deserted town in the middle of the night, and an honest mistake, but he seemed to find it highly objectionable.

A friend you say?
A likely story!
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: border-rider on 15 April, 2011, 10:49:09 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

Guilty

Sorry, but if I need a pooh and some eejit is occupying the gents to ostentatiously slap unnecessary arse cream on his nethers, and there's no-one in the ladies, I'll use it.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 16 April, 2011, 07:29:25 am
You should all go to a Motor race event where there are portaloos stood in a field. Boys and girls together.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jacques on 16 April, 2011, 08:51:49 am
You should all go to a Motor race event where there are portaloos stood in a field. Boys and girls together.



A la PBP.

My bladder was fine while waiting to start but as soon as I hit the running track at St Quentin and caught sight of those portaloos I had it. I think I used them 3 times on the slow shuffle to the start. I think it is a trick by the officials to be honest. Empty all the bladders so the streets of outer Paris are not awash with .... *cough ... you get my point :)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jasmine on 16 April, 2011, 01:04:00 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

Guilty

Sorry, but if I need a pooh and some eejit is occupying the gents to ostentatiously slap unnecessary arse cream on his nethers, and there's no-one in the ladies, I'll use it.



You are in the minority, unless all other male AUKs can poo standing up.  I don't care what your arrangements are at home, but if you use the ladies toilets, put the bloody seat down after.

I understand the whole 'less women in audax' thing means the ladies is less often occupied, but:
(i) Ladies toilets have fewer units (usually the same number of cubicle, but nothing else) so get full quicker
(ii) Ladies wearing bibshorts may not be fully dressed outside of the cubicles but inside the main door - there's not much space to move around in the cubicles if you need to rearrange all of your clothes.
(iii) The little grey box/bin in the corner of the cubicle needs to stay inside the cubicle.  If you don't know what it is for, then don't touch it.
(iv) If there are women already in the toilets, leave them alone.  On the BCM last year I had a male AUK rattling the cubicle door in the Honey Cafe whilst I was in there, then huffing and puffing outside (within the toilet block) for another 3-4 minutes.  I was so freaked out by this that I didn't go to the toilet again until Kings. On the return leg.
(v) In a commercial control, there are other people who might want to use the toilets.


I have no problem with unisex toilets.  They are invariably bigger toilets, so don't have a lot of the issues described above.  Also, if the only option was a portaloo that was minging, I wouldn't go.  To the point of very serious internal damage.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: sub55 on 16 April, 2011, 01:16:11 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

Guilty

Sorry, but if I need a pooh and some eejit is occupying the gents to ostentatiously slap unnecessary arse cream on his nethers, and there's no-one in the ladies, I'll use it.

you tell him jasmine
 Dont you take any shit off these arrogant men, sweet heart.


You are in the minority, unless all other male AUKs can poo standing up.  I don't care what your arrangements are at home, but if you use the ladies toilets, put the bloody seat down after.

I understand the whole 'less women in audax' thing means the ladies is less often occupied, but:
(i) Ladies toilets have fewer units (usually the same number of cubicle, but nothing else) so get full quicker
(ii) Ladies wearing bibshorts may not be fully dressed outside of the cubicles but inside the main door - there's not much space to move around in the cubicles if you need to rearrange all of your clothes.
(iii) The little grey box/bin in the corner of the cubicle needs to stay inside the cubicle.  If you don't know what it is for, then don't touch it.
(iv) If there are women already in the toilets, leave them alone.  On the BCM last year I had a male AUK rattling the cubicle door in the Honey Cafe whilst I was in there, then huffing and puffing outside (within the toilet block) for another 3-4 minutes.  I was so freaked out by this that I didn't go to the toilet again until Kings. On the return leg.
(v) In a commercial control, there are other people who might want to use the toilets.


I have no problem with unisex toilets.  They are invariably bigger toilets, so don't have a lot of the issues described above.  Also, if the only option was a portaloo that was minging, I wouldn't go.  To the point of very serious internal damage.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 16 April, 2011, 01:33:13 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

Guilty

Sorry, but if I need a pooh and some eejit is occupying the gents to ostentatiously slap unnecessary arse cream on his nethers, and there's no-one in the ladies, I'll use it.



You are in the minority, unless all other male AUKs can poo standing up.  I don't care what your arrangements are at home, but if you use the ladies toilets, put the bloody seat down after.I understand the whole 'less women in audax' thing means the ladies is less often occupied, but:
(i) Ladies toilets have fewer units (usually the same number of cubicle, but nothing else) so get full quicker
(ii) Ladies wearing bibshorts may not be fully dressed outside of the cubicles but inside the main door - there's not much space to move around in the cubicles if you need to rearrange all of your clothes.
(iii) The little grey box/bin in the corner of the cubicle needs to stay inside the cubicle.  If you don't know what it is for, then don't touch it.
(iv) If there are women already in the toilets, leave them alone.  On the BCM last year I had a male AUK rattling the cubicle door in the Honey Cafe whilst I was in there, then huffing and puffing outside (within the toilet block) for another 3-4 minutes.  I was so freaked out by this that I didn't go to the toilet again until Kings. On the return leg.
(v) In a commercial control, there are other people who might want to use the toilets.


I have no problem with unisex toilets.  They are invariably bigger toilets, so don't have a lot of the issues described above.  Also, if the only option was a portaloo that was minging, I wouldn't go.  To the point of very serious internal damage.

Ladies don't sit on the seats anyway in public loos...... ???
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jasmine on 16 April, 2011, 01:46:23 pm
Ladies don't sit on the seats anyway in public loos...... ???

Try to imagine, for just a few minutes, that someone with the user-name 'Jasmine' may actually be called this in real life.  Now imagine that with that name I might just be female.  I have assumed that you are male, based on previous posts.  I may be wrong. But if I am correct, and you are male, and I am female, then please don't presume to tell me what ladies do in ladies toilets.

In a cafe, I don't expect the seats to have been pissed on. I also expect that the proprietor has someone to clean the toilets on occasion.  If the toilet is not fit to sit on, then I'm probably best not using it.

But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jaded on 16 April, 2011, 02:09:45 pm
Male AUKs who use the ladies toilets, including at commercial controls.

Guilty

Sorry, but if I need a pooh and some eejit is occupying the gents to ostentatiously slap unnecessary arse cream on his nethers, and there's no-one in the ladies, I'll use it.



You are in the minority, unless all other male AUKs can poo standing up.  I don't care what your arrangements are at home, but if you use the ladies toilets, put the bloody seat down after.I understand the whole 'less women in audax' thing means the ladies is less often occupied, but:
(i) Ladies toilets have fewer units (usually the same number of cubicle, but nothing else) so get full quicker
(ii) Ladies wearing bibshorts may not be fully dressed outside of the cubicles but inside the main door - there's not much space to move around in the cubicles if you need to rearrange all of your clothes.
(iii) The little grey box/bin in the corner of the cubicle needs to stay inside the cubicle.  If you don't know what it is for, then don't touch it.
(iv) If there are women already in the toilets, leave them alone.  On the BCM last year I had a male AUK rattling the cubicle door in the Honey Cafe whilst I was in there, then huffing and puffing outside (within the toilet block) for another 3-4 minutes.  I was so freaked out by this that I didn't go to the toilet again until Kings. On the return leg.
(v) In a commercial control, there are other people who might want to use the toilets.


I have no problem with unisex toilets.  They are invariably bigger toilets, so don't have a lot of the issues described above.  Also, if the only option was a portaloo that was minging, I wouldn't go.  To the point of very serious internal damage.

Ladies don't sit on the seats anyway in public loos...... ???

Webcams don't lie.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Alouicious on 16 April, 2011, 03:22:14 pm
What I don't like is having a teenage girl in a very low cut vest top walk into the gent's with a fresh roll of arse-wipes while I'm pointing Percy at the porcelain at one of the urinals.

Thank you Santa Pod.

Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Jasmine on 16 April, 2011, 04:02:54 pm
Is that a regular occurrence on audaxes?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Feline on 16 April, 2011, 04:05:57 pm
I have to say, I have so far not experienced guys in the womens loos on an audax. I have experienced commercial controls with only one unisex loo though, if the floor or seat looked unpleasant I would just go and pee inna hedge. This is one very good reason for not wearing bibshorts on audaxes  ;D
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: hellymedic on 16 April, 2011, 04:33:19 pm
Peover Inferior = Disgusting bog @ Raven Café
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Euan Uzami on 17 April, 2011, 06:20:01 pm
It's often the case that the only people in the vicinity are audaxers, and none of the audaxers are female.
The ethics of men using the women's toilets only apply if there are either female audaxers, or there are female members of the public around. (If there are, then as you were.)
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: mattc on 17 April, 2011, 07:07:31 pm
We need a new poll - blokes only, obviously. Do you:
a) pee on the seat,
b) leave the seat up,
c) both
d) seat? seat?!? doesn't seem very self-sufficient to me  >:( (Unless you carry your own seat, in which case you wouldn't be worried about how others use it ... )
?

[Edited to add a Proper Audaxer option]
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: arvid on 17 April, 2011, 07:18:01 pm
Why would I pee on a toilet when I have all of the route to pee on?
By incident, I did pee at one of the controls this weekend, but it had a urinal.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: AndyH on 17 April, 2011, 07:25:31 pm
We need a new poll - blokes only, obviously. Do you:
a) pee on the seat,
b) leave the seat up,
c) both
?

Hedges have seats  ???
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: teethgrinder on 17 April, 2011, 07:44:50 pm
But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.

OK, What would you like me to tell you about it?
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Manotea on 17 April, 2011, 07:48:46 pm
But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.

Hedges have seats  ???

No, they have thistles...
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: LiamFitz on 17 April, 2011, 07:54:41 pm
I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: teethgrinder on 17 April, 2011, 07:56:49 pm
But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.

Hedges have seats  ???

No, they have thistles...

This reminds me of why Maureen Cheyney DNF'd the 1991 PBP. She needed a pee out in the countryside, so she dropped her shorts and squatted down to do the deed.
Unbeknown to her, there was something lurking in the grass. An adder came up and bit her on the bum.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Nuncio on 17 April, 2011, 10:56:59 pm
I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....

The opposite of  this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t32ttbitMj8) then.
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Exit Stage Left on 18 April, 2011, 12:24:11 am
I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....

One man's water fountain......
    YouTube
        - Fountain Carhaix
   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0m2L_KPlVM)

Although quite why you'd dribble water down both sides of a stainless steel sheet into a trough if it wasn't a urinal.....
Title: Re: What's to dislike about Audaxes.
Post by: Bendy Bianchi on 19 April, 2011, 11:59:33 am

or better, do the etape or something like that where the girls squat alongside the guys peeing in the hedge

You should all go to a Motor race event where there are portaloos stood in a field. Boys and girls together.