What's to dislike about Audaxes.

[Alouicious]

Some people hate lanes. Some people hate main roads, If you take the lanes and dislike it, or take the main roads and dislike it, its your own silly fault.

Study the locations of the controls and a map and go the way you prefer. Its a 'free route' isn't it?

[hellymedic]

That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)

I remember I once wrote:

Dear *** I have a dreadful moan
I want to cycle on my own
You've dogged me for two thousand K
Just take the hint and GO AWAY....

[GrahamG]

Cafes that only serve instant coffee. I mean, not even a filter pot. That gets me down more than anything else

Noooooooooo,    although i would generally not argue with your extensive knowledge , GrahamG  ON  this issue ive got too raise an eyebrow.   

I've far from extensive knowledge on anything (bar maybe boring work stuff), but after spending 25 years of my life thinking that I didn't actually like coffee thanks to only ever sampling instant... I'm now playing catch up with my new found favourite hot beverage. I need a little luxury on an audax ride, dammit!

[Ray 6701]

Early starts: I'm not much of a morning person.
Main roads: I prefer to get away from the traffic/towns & out in to the sticks to see the views & pretty little villages.
Steep 18%+ descents: I just don't like em  unless they are long & not too twisty with good lines of sight 

[Karla]

That 'nice man' who wont drop you however slow you go because he 'chivalrously' doesn't like leaving a female to ride alone.

He is the most tedious company in the world.

(Blokes reading this who have ridden with me: Don't be daft, of course I don't mean you)

That wasn't chivalry, it was because my big lights had recently broken so I was using my backup headtorch and wanted to follow your illumination!

[mattc]

Queueing for 20 mins while the cafe staff make 2 fancy coffees for the "connoisseurs" in front of me.

[GrahamG]

I can't find a middle digit smiley!

[DanialW]

A diet of all-night garage food.

[LEE]

If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

[Deano]

If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

Absolutely!  Also, it's hard to ride alongside one another and chat on (most) A-roads.

If I'm on my tod or in a hurry I don't mind a bit of A-road (and B-road) bashing.  And of course, it's always a source of amusement to pop out of a side-road onto a main road only to encounter [name removed] steaming past you.

[frankly frankie]

Yes, taking a cue from several messages above ...

Controls that major on TLC

Datebars

Fig rolls are OK though.

[recumbentim]

Nothing, or i wouldn,t do them.

[Philip Whiteman]

The very very very slow controller.  You know the sort I mean - the ones that take your card and then fumble for a bit, realise that they have lost their pen, stamp the wrong box, loose their glasses, can't find your name on the register and then suggest that you don't exist or you are riding the wrong event. Even worse is when they have to phone GHQ to test your existance. All in all it takes twenty minutes to stamp the card by which time all the cake has been eaten and their is a queue fifty deep behind you.

[mattc]

If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

+1

(Although the DIY/Mesh system is quite good for when you fancy that sort of thing.)

[jogler]

If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

+1

[The Seldom Killer]

A diet of all-night garage food.

The diet of all night garage food served at a station in the middle of nowhere where the staff won't open the door and swear up and down that the only thing that will fit through the massive night service box is a receipt. You're then left with the choice of buying some charcoal briquettes or look on with soul crushing dismay as they open the tray a crack and squeeze a sausage roll and a twix bar through the gap, realise their folly of their vindictiveness when it comes to the bottle of powerade, open it all the way and then pass it back to you. All because you disturbed their appreciation of a culture magazine at 2.30am when by rights they should have at least half an hour clear before the regular truck pops in.

You will pay for that sunshine, oh yes you will.

[mattc]

A diet of all-night garage food.
...
All because you disturbed their appreciation of a culture magazine at 2.30am when by rights they should have at least half an hour clear before the regular truck pops in.

You will pay for that sunshine, oh yes you will.

I witnessed an ambulance crew receiving this sort of treatment once. I nearly said rude words very loudly.

[De Sisti]

Spending more than 4 hours on a bike.....I'll get my coat 

(I get bored and my backside starts to ache)

Ha ha ha. Maybe you like racing short distance then? Or your you're on the wrong forum ??

Your You're welcome here, whatever cycling your into anyway

John

[Manotea]

If it weren't for the country lanes I wouldn't Audax.

I don't need Audax to tell me how to get from A to B on a main road. 
What I'm looking for is some local knowledge to get me from A to B via some nice villages and scenery.

+1

Yup. When I started Audaxing it was a revelation to discover I could be out all day riding though glorious country lanes and roads with barely a car to be seen.

[The Seldom Killer]

I think the biggst revelation on my first audax was the disporportionate number of left turns required to ride across the Fens. Also hateful.

[Andrij]

The near-obligatory climb immediately after a lovely cafe stop.

Other than that, nothing.
 

[Datameister]

Early starts: I'm not much of a morning person.

Fungus: Master of Understatement

[Andrew Br]

I've only done one audax (200km) but I hated:-

1) At the penultimate control, the Coop store in Wheelock, I had the following conversation with the cashier as I bought the obligatory flap jack/milk shake/can of cola/Ginster's/etc
Him: "Lots of cyclists in here today."
Me: "Yes, there's a bike event on. When were the last ones here ?"
Him; "About two hours ago."

2) An hour later, in the pouring rain, wondering if I'd missed a turn in the (pitch) dark. Did I suggest to the demoralised GF that a) we stop and go back a few miles to check or b) we press on and hope ? We did b) and it turned out to be the correct answer.

3) At the last control, the Shell garage at Dean Row next to the Unicorn pub, the till crashed and it took 15 minutes before it would reboot and give me two receipts for two packs of Kettle Chips. Demoralised GF (outside looking after the bikes) was really losing the will to live.

4) Getting back to the car in the formerly packed layby, to find that mine was the only one there. I started the engine, turned the heater and seats on full and put the DM GF in the car while I hung the bikes on the carrier.

Despite DM GF's experience, we did a 300km ride the following month and DD a few weeks after that.
I'd have gone on to do more audax last year if I hadn't had my bike nicked in January and I fully intend to start this year.
I've ordered an England Audax shirt, how can I not ? 

[Martin]

Yup. When I started Audaxing it was a revelation to discover I could be out all day riding though glorious country lanes and roads with barely a car to be seen.

presumably not in Kent or Sussex?

(actually there are miles and miles of lovely lanes in either; just that they are connected by some pretty horrid roads) the first time I did one of Pam Pilbeam's rides I remember thinking "I'm only 80km from home; where are all the cars?"

[Euan Uzami]

...  The only possible exception to this ,is mcdonalds coffee.   Its surpriseingly good.

The latte's ok but I find the normal tastes of fags?