We got a 3-line whip to join the in-laws at Centre Parks in Longleat this past weekend, for FIL's 70th. Check-in at 3pm on Friday meant I took Friday off work, but then LoveOfMyLife let slip that I might be allowed to ride down, leaving her to cope with 4 kids and the car.
A quick bit of autorouting and it was clear that I couldn't do it in one day without starting earlier than i wanted to, and anyway I hadn't done over 100K since October, so a bit more negotiation, and I'm setting off after work on Thursday to break the journey with the Revered Ancestor in Oxford.
Thursday sees me still answering emails at 7pm in Cambridge, but eventually off I set. I was on the MTB with road tyres rather than the Dave Yeates, in deference to conditions and in expectation that it would be more use at the other end. Cambridge to Biggleswade went by easily enough, but I was feeling it in my legs more than I should have, and cold and hungry by then. £5 lighter and some greasy chicken and chips heavier, it's hit the road again.
The fog started to come down about this time and the rest of the ride was progressively murkier and murkier. It was also slower and slower. Ampthill, Woburn and Brickhill were mercifully ice-free. a fix darted across n just in front near Old Warden and the deer gave me an odd look as I crossed the park. Somewhere between Stewkely and Winslow a barn owl kept me company, and after that I hit my first stretch of icy road. Just a white sheen to the surface and suddenly easier pedalling, but I didn't really slow down because by then i was struggling to get above 10 mph.
Through all the lanes past Bicester, still struggling to keep up any forward motion at all. Why do dark and cold slow me down so much? i remembered to eat, but when I went for a drink, the bottle was frozen. Should have kept it in my back pocket.
About this point my eye lashes started to freeze together. Lots of blinking to separate them. Another fox, and then Islip, Kidlington and Summertown.
I got in at 3 am. I had a thick layer of rime all down my arms, on my gloves and on my boots. The Carradice was board-stiff and white too. That's a cool 2 hours longer than I usually reckon it ought to take.
In the morning, I caught up with RA and phaffed until 10.30, then set off on the Poor Student route to Shrivenham. I can report that there was no ice on the road, but that every leaf and twig had its coating of ice. Also the deli in Shrivenham serves a mean bacon and sausage baguette, at a price.
Off onto unfamiliar roads. Hinton Parva, Chiseldon, Burdrop, and oh! what's this? No through Road? Ask a local. "Hello nice man walking your pit bull. Is this really a no through road, or can I get to Marlborough?"
"Oh yer'll be OK on a bike. Yerrs, no problem. Jus' keep right on." So off I go, and 15 minutes later here I am up on top of the downs on the most rutted of 4X4 enthusiasts playgrounds, with an inch of snow and hard ice at the bottom of every hollow. But did I turn back? Oh no! I'm a bloke aren't I. I never turn back. About 2 hours later I slip slid and wobbled my way down to the road into Marlborough. Nice short cut JJ!
At least it was picturesque!
To celebrate I rode twice round Marborough, just so I could sample the hill past the college an extra time and eventually I managed to release myself from the icy grip of my own stupidity and onto the road for Chirton, LIttle Cheverell and Westbury.
Somewhere along the way the road brought me over an escarpment, and against a darkening blue sky, I could see the fog billowing over the crest, the way cloud does in the mountains sometimes. From then on it was properly cold again, and I started to shout at my hands to wake them up.
I managed to hit the A36 in fog at rush hour. Nice! At least it got my pulse up. So a detour through Warminster town centre, a little weave through the pine trees and there I was, riding along the manicured driveway to the strangeness that is Centre Parks, with all its dinky little lights and dinky little waymarked "forest paths" and dinky little larch lap chalets. 7pm! Oh well. At least I looked so wrecked that no one was annoyed with me for being late, and the dinky little chalet had a dinky little hot tap with a dinky little bath attached.
I came home in the car.
