The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[Feanor]

Homemade mayonnaise is something you do once, and your release you've made an entire bucket of diabolical sex glue with just a single yolk. Given any mayonnaise is, in the majority of circumstances, too much mayonnaise, you'll pretty much left with a increasingly desperate array of off-piste usages before it becomes a biological hazard. Unguent l'amour, crowd control, building render. It is the sauce of shame.

Home-made croissants are equally pointless, but without the possibility of using them in a sexy rumpus situation. Unless you are really weird. The crumbs go everywhere.

[Mr Larrington]

I have et ketchup in USAnia, mostly to offset the BACON.  Which they can’t do either.  BACON should be flexible, not liable to shatter and fly into the eye of a diner on the other side of the room.

[Vernon]

Bought tickets yesterday for Kirkaldy's Testing Works on July 22nd - one of the rare (monthly) occasions when they'll actually be running the main testing machine - only to find out that there's a rail strike that day. 

Not in Fife 

Different Kirkcaldy 
The person not the place.
Clicky
More clicky

I was going to suggest that the Holiday Inn Express a couple doors up (which is where we were staying when we first discovered it) isn't too expensive,  but I've just checked their website.
How much? 

[matthew]

Our now-19-year-old's end-of-primary play was videoed and distributed on DVD to parents. There was a permission form beforehand, but evidently everyone signed it.

I'm impressed by how this statement sounds both high-tech and futuristic while also being incredibly dated.  I suspect this means I'm old.

How do you think I feel, I believe my parents still have the VHS tapes of some of my school Christmas plays / musicals.  Including the incident when young James, whilst playing Santa had a costume failure and his trousers fell down. 

[hellymedic]

Dear gardeners,
I understand your team is in our area tomorrow.
We are due to have our pianos tuned for no small fee.
More than 24 hours' notice of a proposed visit would sure come in handy.
I'm afraid you'll have to come some other time.
Helen

[Kim]

Someone has performed Plumbing on one of nextdoor's toilets.  The cistern refilling is now distractedly loud rather than "ah, that's nextdoor's cistern refilling".  Fortunately I'm not one of those neurotic about noise people (wouldn't last long living with barakta if I were).

[Mr Larrington]

O hai, Vendors of $STUFFS!

The more you pester me to review your product or service, the less inclined I am so to do. Keep up this heathen and unBRITISH practice and I'll give you a really really bad one.

Yes, Lloyds Pharmacy, I surely do mean you.

Kthxbai

[cygnet]

That'll be the new owners perhaps.

[Pickled Onion]

Where you are going wrong is having ketchup. Have brown sauce like a  proper British person.

Can’t stand the filthy muck   This Unit will have no lorry with garnishing its sossidges with runny boot polish.

The mustard is in the fridge too, but that’s in a much smaller and more stable container.

I keep mustard in the fridge too. It's not as hot after a few weeks. I definitely need to do a double-blind trial with two pots opened at the same time and kept in the cupboard and fridge to find out which loses its hotness quicker. Scientifically, can mustard heat be chilled out of mustard or not? One of life's great questions, I'm sure.

[Basil]

Where you are going wrong is having ketchup. Have brown sauce like a  proper British person.

Can’t stand the filthy muck   This Unit will have no lorry with garnishing its sossidges with runny boot polish.

The mustard is in the fridge too, but that’s in a much smaller and more stable container.

I keep mustard in the fridge too. It's not as hot after a few weeks. I definitely need to do a double-blind trial with two pots opened at the same time and kept in the cupboard and fridge to find out which loses its hotness quicker. Scientifically, can mustard heat be chilled out of mustard or not? One of life's great questions, I'm sure.

If you do decide to do this, I would be interested in the results.

[Beardy]

This is why mustard powder was invented. You mix the amount you need at the time you need it. Keep the tin with the spices in a dry cupboard.

[L CC]

Just as an aside, having moved No1Daughter into our house, we now have (count 'em) 5 jars of mustard in our fridge.

You can't mix your own whole grain or Dijon at the point of use.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I have just been Witnessed by a large woman in a print dress and a small man in a tie. The woman spoke while the man, who was called Paulo, stood behind and swatted at insects. They threaten to come back at some unspecified later date to discuss the leaflet, which will be a short discussion.

[Paul]

They sound like a seaside postcard 

[Cudzoziemiec]

They lacked only a knotted hankie – and a beach!

[TheLurker]

I have just been Witnessed ... threaten to come back at some unspecified later date to discuss the leaflet, which will be a short discussion.

I wholeheartedly recommend Lurker Senior's approach as when roused from his slumbers after a hard day's night-shift.  It involved many bad, ooh very, *very* bad, swears at considerable volume and very close range.  A good day all round.  They never came back and I learnt lots of lovely new vocab.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I've got to wonder whether what they get from this door-chugging approach. If I met someone in some other situation, say a party or even a bike ride (a bike ride!), and discovered they were a JW (or Mormon or somesuch) I might well ask them about this. What are the core beliefs of JWs, how does this get expressed in their daily life, what do their services and rites look like, does their church have an opinion on x, y and z...? Conversion is highly unlikely but understanding is more probable. Whereas knocking on the door is just going to annoy most people.

[Kim]

AIUI there's a psychology answer about the repeated rejection strengthening people's in-group identity...

[Cudzoziemiec]

The Chumbawamba principle? 

[Paul]

My two pennies: they have made it their job, but they have no target beyond the knocking.

It’s a ‘God is watching so look busy/reward in heaven’ thing, I reckon.

[Beardy]

Dr Beardy is a mean person!

 We were discussing the Tour and I mentioned that it was a rest day tomorrow. She replied, ‘not for you’’ which I consider to be very mean 

[Wowbagger]

I have just been Witnessed ... threaten to come back at some unspecified later date to discuss the leaflet, which will be a short discussion.

I wholeheartedly recommend Lurker Senior's approach as when roused from his slumbers after a hard day's night-shift.  It involved many bad, ooh very, *very* bad, swears at considerable volume and very close range.  A good day all round.  They never came back and I learnt lots of lovely new vocab.

I have used two separate approaches. The first is from G. B . Shaw “oh, great! I’m Jehovah. How are we doing?”, or my own version: “I’m Jehovah. Now you’ve witnessed me you can bugger off!”

[Basil]

My response is, 'No, sorry,  but I'm not superstitious'.
You can see their confused look as they try to figure out what I have said.
They may wish to attempt a response, but it's too late, as I have quietly but firmly closed the door.

[Beardy]

No thank you, I’ve already got one works quite well I’ve found.

[Cudzoziemiec]

My two pennies: they have made it their job, but they have no target beyond the knocking.

It’s a ‘God is watching so look busy/reward in heaven’ thing, I reckon.

I think there was a central edict a few years ago that all JWs have to put a certain amount of time into conversion/mission activities. Frequently see them standing, again in pairs or small groups, in the central shopping district with a display of pamphlets. I've no idea how they choose between that and door-knocking, which achieves greater interest or if they have any sort of target in terms of eg leaflets dispensed.