Author Topic: ...if cycles were given names that more accurately reflected reality... (Read 6026 times)

canny colin · « **Reply #25 on:** 10 February, 2015, 09:59:33 pm »

my mother used to race on the gas pipe Arse end bike. The main tubes were 531 but the rest were from pound land.

Butterfly · « **Reply #26 on:** 10 February, 2015, 10:09:05 pm »

The 'looking for my lost youth'

The 'this'll make you ~~look~~ fast'

The 'ooh green wheels, aren't you interesting'

The 'lady's bike. For Ladies'

The 'you need these forks - you ride down the curb sometimes, don't you?'

clarion · « **Reply #27 on:** 11 February, 2015, 03:28:25 pm »

Specialized SHOUTY!!!!

Bianchi Poseur

Nologo Gaspipe

Kim · « **Reply #28 on:** 11 February, 2015, 03:33:33 pm »

Mongoose Kerbhopper

Dibdib · « **Reply #29 on:** 11 February, 2015, 04:40:56 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 11 February, 2015, 03:33:33 pm

Mongoose Kerbhopper

Closely related to the GT ProbablyStolen MTBSO?

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #30 on:** 11 February, 2015, 07:07:38 pm »

FOAF had a cammo-painted MTB which, he told a member of Brenda's Finest, was a Bastard Desert Storm.

Pedaldog. · « **Reply #31 on:** 13 February, 2015, 11:11:58 pm »

The Bendy Bickerton.

Vince · « **Reply #32 on:** 14 February, 2015, 09:34:01 am »

The 'Bianchi Poseur of a Earlier Generation'
The 'Dahon Bendy Bike'
The 'Yes it's Steel, but there are spares in the Saddle Bag to Get You Home When Your Soot Bike Dies'.
The 'Spare Parts Bike' where upgraded components of the other bikes end up.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #33 on:** 14 February, 2015, 10:06:38 am »

Quote from: Pedaldog on 13 February, 2015, 11:11:58 pm

The Bendy Bickerton.

aka The Chocolate Bickie.

hellymedic · « **Reply #34 on:** 15 February, 2015, 10:38:26 pm »

The Trusty Workhorse
The Sunday Best
The Poser's P....

JennyB · « **Reply #35 on:** 16 February, 2015, 09:25:43 am »

The Sportive Shittybum

madcow · « **Reply #36 on:** 18 February, 2015, 04:21:58 pm »

Trek(absolutely, definitely not anything to do with that Armstrong fella, yes I really am ashamed to be riding it, what a cheating lying bastard he is) Madone.

or realistically the Trek Sweaty or the Sabbath Snotty.

EMnut · « **Reply #37 on:** 18 February, 2015, 04:42:54 pm »

When I lived in South Africa, I had a Trek, I called it the ox-wagon, it was a lekker-bike.

mcshroom · « **Reply #38 on:** 18 February, 2015, 09:07:19 pm »

I have a Trek. I suppose it should be called the Trek Overcomplicated as it's got fiddly bits like sliding dropouts (fixed with vertical dropouts) and a frame break for fitting a belt drive.

Hattyfatner · « **Reply #39 on:** 19 February, 2015, 07:54:07 pm »

The Thorn 'Brick out house'
The Zinn 'Gap where the telly would be'
The Giant 'Hold your breath'

rogerzilla · « **Reply #40 on:** 27 February, 2015, 08:27:16 pm »

I always wanted to become a bike manufaturer and make a line of bikes with unpleasant "D" names, such as Destroyer, Desecrator, Deflowerer, Debaser and Decapitator.

They would all come in pastel colours with flower and butterfly decals.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #41 on:** 27 February, 2015, 08:29:19 pm »

Quote from: nikki on 09 February, 2015, 10:40:54 am

Quote from: Butterfly on 08 February, 2015, 11:29:18 pm
The MAN Giant is the Defy

You should look at the children's bike names. Flower, Glitter,Glitz, Butterfly and Rage, Havoc, Stun and Venom
How do you think our steeds should more accurately be branded?

There's a children's bike called the Glitter? That's sooo wrong

madcow · « **Reply #42 on:** 27 February, 2015, 10:19:43 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 27 February, 2015, 08:27:16 pm

I always wanted to become a bike manufaturer and make a line of bikes with unpleasant "D" names, such as Destroyer, Desecrator, Deflowerer, Debaser and Decapitator.

They would all come in pastel colours with flower and butterfly decals.

Why not add "Defecator" to the list and paint it a s**t brown colour??

Paul · « **Reply #43 on:** 28 February, 2015, 12:02:37 am »

We have a Thorn Me'n'u two which would be better named the 'If U two can talk you're not pedalling enough'

I also have a Mercian King of the Mid-life crisis.

My Scott Aspen is really more of a Scott Alfreton Road.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #44 on:** 28 February, 2015, 09:46:17 am »

On-One have the products of incestuous pregnancies, Italian blowjobs and rims with learning difficulties but should really be "Taiwanese stuff repackaged in Yorkshire".

Torslanda · « **Reply #45 on:** 28 February, 2015, 10:55:25 am »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 28 February, 2015, 09:46:17 am

On-One have the products of incestuous pregnancies, Italian blowjobs and rims with learning difficulties but should really be "Taiwanese stuff repackaged in Yorkshire".

On that basis the entire Halfrauds range should have Tunisian, Chinese and Vietnamese names.

The Trax 'Cheap All Inclusive Holiday', the Apollo 'Unsafe Working Practices', the Carrera 'Chickenhawk' and the Boardman 'Dien Bien Phu'.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #46 on:** 28 February, 2015, 11:06:33 am »

Quote from: Torslanda on 28 February, 2015, 10:55:25 am

Quote from: rogerzilla on 28 February, 2015, 09:46:17 am
On-One have the products of incestuous pregnancies, Italian blowjobs and rims with learning difficulties but should really be "Taiwanese stuff repackaged in Yorkshire".

On that basis the entire Halfrauds range should have Tunisian, Chinese and Vietnamese names.

The Trax 'Cheap All Inclusive Holiday', the Apollo 'Unsafe Working Practices', the Carrera 'Chickenhawk' and the Boardman 'Dien Bien Phu'.

Torslanda made Oi larf

Quote from: Paul on 28 February, 2015, 12:02:37 am

My Scott Aspen is really more of a Scott Alfreton Road.

No bad thing. Aspen makes me want to make bombs and the traffic is horrendous.

Torslanda · « **Reply #47 on:** 01 March, 2015, 07:05:55 pm »

There's also the Chinarello Ringer