The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[Cudzoziemiec]

I wonder if there's been an increase in illness since the new rules came in?

[hellymedic]

I thought parents felt pressured sending sick kids to school, to massage attendance statistics, increasing the spread of Nasty Bugs...

[Kim]

I thought parents felt pressured sending sick kids to school, to massage attendance statistics, increasing the spread of Nasty Bugs...

Yes, but usually the attendance statistics pertaining to the parent's employment.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Schools nowadays tell parents to keep kids at home for 48 (I think) hours after any illness seems to have cleared up. But there must be some parents claiming ill children to get an extra day or two of holiday. It wouldn't work for more than that though as schools expect you to ring up each morning. Illness and holidays both get counted as days missing in school attendance but only hols can get you fined.

[sg37409]

Attendance statistics suck.

My kids have unauthorized absence recorded against them to sit music exams. They get music lessons through the school. As well as the exams being arranged via the teacher we also gave a letter the first 2 times this happened to the school to explain things.

We gave up after this. (No reason to suspect that our kids schools are much different to any others in this respect)

[clarion]

My school attendance was shockingly bad.  I occasionally missed a month at a time.

I skived one day in my school career

I missed two days to go on family holidays in term time.

Attendance is no measure of ability or performance.

[barakta]

I had outpatient appointments weekly missing 1/2 or a whole day of school for years at a time. I also had over 25 hospital admissions and EPIC snot in my teens.

My attendance in years 10 & 11was ~60% cos of my first balance relapse - basically I should never have been in that school trying to travel, traipse around the place and do unsupported audio... I was made ill by the educational environment being unsuitable and I'm sure the constant hostility from other students didn't help either.

This obsession over perfect attendance rather than wider issues annoys me. When it's made a moral wossname I get even more angry as I never had any choice. I didn't get to choose to need X procedure 5 times, or spend half my life bored out of my skull in hospital waiting rooms. I learned a lot about people thoughbut and have an excellent relationship with my mum who did all this with me.

[citoyen]

Some arsehole in a road sweeper just turned into our drive - no idea why - then tried to turn his vehicle around, even though there clearly wasn't space. Knocked a wheelie bin over into a flower bed, and came within inches of the gas main governor box. I could see all this happening from my office window, and ran out to ask what the fuck he thought he was doing. The cunt didn't even have the courtesy to open his window when I was banging on his door. Eventually, he decided to reverse back out into the road, but all while refusing to even acknowledge my presence. Fuck knows what damage he would have done if I'd not been here to stop him.

My wife phoned the company and complained and was told they would "have a word" with the driver. According to the FORS website, member companies are required to have a formal complaints system, so we should at least be able to call back later and get documentary evidence of any action taken. Is there anyone else I can complain to?

We get people using our drive quite a lot. It's a hazard of living on a main road, I guess - I suspect in some cases it's people misreading their satnav, because our driveway is quite wide and there's an actual turning about 20m further along. Most of the time I tolerate it, but when the fuckers start causing damage, that's when I draw the line. I don't want to have to fit a gate, but maybe it will be necessary - although I expect it will only last as long as it takes some fucker to drive into it.

[ian]

Pt 22: On the Unwelcomeness of Bicycles.

So, we toil up to East Croydon station yesterday, after a pleasing ride through the strange hinterlands of London south. As we'd perfectly timed things to miss our train, we thought we'd avail ourselves of a frothy beverage and a bite to eat while we waited. There's conveniently a large Boxpark* right next to the station that promises both those things. So we grab a drink and sit down to contemplate our food options.

Suddenly some walkie-talkie wielding woman is looming over us telling us to leave. We're a bit puzzled by a welcome that's lukewarm even by Croydon standards (though at least it didn't put us in the ICU, I suppose). Of course, it's the bicycles we've carefully put to one side (we didn't have locks and bike stands are frankly a bit crap with no space). Not allowed! Now, they're against a wall and in no ones way and the area we are occupying is about half the size of a tennis court and housed approximately two customers, of whom both were us.

My wife then had temerity to ask politely ask why as there was no possible way our bicycles could impede anyone, if there were anyone to impede, which there weren't. Apparently, Ms Charm didn't have to answer that because 'it's private property' and she started to pantomime calling security and be really quite aggressive. We were being thoroughly calm and reasonable, yet within 30 seconds of sitting down, we were being threatened with 'arrest.'

But we were finishing our drinks as we'd bought them and the area outside is a alcohol control area (come on, it's Croydon). Which would be proper illegal. We might get ASBOed or something. Eventually a bored security guard showed up to watch us drink (he didn't seem happy to be there, but then he didn't seem like he'd be happy anywhere). We might not have hurried and they eventually escorted us and the bikes the entire two or so metres back onto the street where they remained glowering from the very edge of their property as we departed into the sunset (OK, East Croydon station). Apparently the 'police have our photos.' My heart is chilled. I confess we might have left them with a cheery little wave.

Utterly bizarre – and all basically because of bikes, unless they treat all their potential customers like that, which would be novel – and and a reminder of the stinkiness of the loss of public places as they churn into these private little enclaves filled with rules and shrinkwrapped souls. Anyway, they didn't get our money, lost the only two customers they had in that section, and they can fuck off in future

Conclusive proof, if it were needed, that Croydon is best avoided.

*for those unfamiliar, it's basically a shopping mall food court squeezed into a trendy mould until everything comes out more 'street food' and less SpudULike though potatoes, you'd think, were the original street food.

[Kim]

Yes, well, bikes have *wheels*.  They were probably terrified that you might start riding them at speed through the red traffic lights in their boxpark while wearing lycra and stuff.  Or worse, compromise their brand identity by hanging around and spending money.

[citoyen]

I'll look out for you both on Police 5.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I looked up this Boxpark thing. About 99 different cafes/restaurants/bars/grills/eateries/brasseries/etc and so on. Including one called The Potato Project. WTF? SpudULike meets Brave New World.

[Basil]

You bloody anarchists, Ian.

[Steph]

I went down to Brighton yesterday to watch a friend run the marathon. Lovely hot day, some really delightful support for those struggling near the end, one serious exhaustion/blue-light case right in front of me.

And a HELL of a lot of wankers.

It's a race, ish. More importantly, it is a lot of people trying to keep themselves moving after 26 miles, with their bodies heading towards autocannibalism. When you pull the barriers open because you are too lazy to walk to the crossing point, and amble across through the runners with your prams, alcohol and out of control kids, you make it potentially dangerous for the runners and actually bloody inconvenient and distressing.

When the young woman marshalling that area tries to control the flow, and you swear, abuse and threaten her, you show yourself to be the sort of item I would hate to have to wipe off my shoe because I would never be able to get the smeel off them.

Twats. And I am not talking about one or two...

[ian]

We're in hiding at the moment. My wife has notably fled to Bristol. Possibly to further her criminal enterprises by becoming a pirate. Yarghhhh.

It's not often, as middling everything white people, we can get thrown out of places these days so I'm a teeny bit pleased. Especially as we did without getting sweary and confrontational (which seemed to annoy them all the more) especially as we sat there and savoured our beer (a half pint of Hackney Gose, if you must know, and yes, we're that rock and roll, it was an entire half pint each).

Oh, and this outfit paint themselves and trendy and 'street' in their PR. The ain't street enough to handle my bicycle. I may grink their MD, not sure if I can sit through some BS about H&S (and I doubt they ban buggies, prams, wheelchairs, etc.)

I was briefly pleased to hear there was a Potato Project. But seriously, pesto on a baked spud? Stop messing with things that don't need messing with.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Pesto on a baked spud is a Thing? I mean, I know it's a thing cos I've eaten it myself, at home. I put pesto on all sorts of things, mainly to finish up the jar. It's good on mashed too, and rice and bread and couscous. But I didn't know it was an official Thing that people would pay money to eat in places. Oh, tell your wife to steer clear of Cabot Circus while she's in Bristol, no bikes allowed there. She might enjoy that place of trendy eating in old shipping containers behind M-Shed, opposite Gaol Ferry Bridge, though; it's trendy and it's on a cycle path. Lovett pies are good. At least I think so but then I like pesto on baked potatoes, so who am I to say?

[ian]

Oh the plus side, a shout out to The Sun in Carshalton who saved us the trouble of locking our bikes outside by opening the back gate and letting us shove our bicycles in the corner of the beer garden where they (our bikes, not the bar staff) steadfastly refused to kill anyone or cause any other major calamity.

[Wombat]

Mobile Phones Direct!  You are a bunch of shysters!  My phone supplied by you is less than a year old, and has failed terminally, so just fucking replace it, will you?  Oh no, due to the time I've had it, I have to go through Sony, who will take a couple of weeks to repair it.  Look fuckbuckets, I paid a fair bit of money for a fancy smartphone, because I need a fancy smartphone, I do not need a sit around for a fortnight while someone thinks about repairing it.

I'm not interested in the fact that it has a 2 year warranty with Sony, You deal with me, and then deal with Sony, why the fuck should I have to deal direct with them at their glacial pace? 

You know who I won't be getting my next phone from, don't you...

As I've just retired, one might think a smartphone is no longer critical to me, but sadly I have to go to Shildon for a three day event, and need the full works, including social media.  I'm having to borrow Mrs W's old tablet instead, which keeps forgetting I also have an account on it, and now I find you can't use Whatsapp on a tablet without linking it to the phone I currently don't have....  just as well the venue has Wifi for business visitors.

And to add insult to injury today, some cnut has decided to outbid us on the offer that was accepted for the house in Dolgellau.  And they live within a few miles of our current abode, which is one hell of a coincidence.  I have told one person where this house is, I sincerely hope she hasn't told someone else who has decided to outbid me, or our warm friendship is at an end.

Further insult 2  - Look dog emptiers of the parish, when we have a furking great aggregate truck parked opposite, our drive is clearly in the process of being relaid, and we have placed the wheelie bins out the front to keep it clear for the resurfacing contractors truck, don't fucking park between the bins!  Yes, it is a private road, it was my property I was reserving.

Further insult 3 - ancient mother, its annoying enough that you periodically do something stupid with your phone and block the line so the emergency alarm is non-functional, but why do it this morning, when I'm kinda bloody preoccupied with selling the house, resurfacing the drive, dealing with Sony etc?   I didn't need the 45 mile round trip to deliver a new phone (and the toaster to replace the one your sister broke at the weekend).  Yes, I will be adding the cost of the fuel to the cost of the toaster and phone.

Further insult 4 - Twat in a Skoda Octavia estate, don't just drive into me on the M27!  It was lucky I glanced into the door mirror at that precise moment, to see half a Skoda bearing down on me, in my lane, at about 15mph faster than I was going.  I took to the hard shoulder and braked hard to make sure he went past me rather than just continuing to veer into my car.  Your name is now officially Waddock Hunt.

Further insult 5- Capture One Pro, why do you keep moving the order of my photo catalogue around, so I get some of the current ones I'm working on, then suddenly photos from 5 years ago, when they are supposed to be in date order.  It takes ages and several attempts to get it to re-order them, so just bloody stoppit, will you?

What a shit day....

[Jaded]

Top rant 

[Zipperhead]

Conclusive proof, if it were needed, that Croydon is best avoided.

I went through Croydon last Friday on the tram. It was like travelling on a zombie theme park ride. I was glad that the tram didn't stop very frequently because I didn't have chainsaw on my person for self defence purposes.

[clarion]

ISTR the architects' drawings of Boxpark printed in the local freerag depicted hipsters with bicycles - walkengers, in fact - at Boxpark.

Since then, of course, it has been built, and needs to defend itself from terrorists with tidy hair...


Oh - and the Sun is my favourite pub in Carshalton!*


* To be fair, I've probably been in fewer than half a dozen.  Oh, OK, probably three.

[Kim]

Conclusive proof, if it were needed, that Croydon is best avoided.

I went through Croydon last Friday on the tram. It was like travelling on a zombie theme park ride. I was glad that the tram didn't stop very frequently because I didn't have chainsaw on my person for self defence purposes.

Never use a chainsaw against zombies.  It's so obviously going to end spectacularly badly well before the undead get anywhere near your brains that your survival chances are lowered just by having one.  If you're in Croydon then you already know that luck isn't on your side, so that's no time to skimp on the risk assessment.

Shotgun backed up with a cricket bat.  You know it makes sense.

[ian]

Well, Croydon can only get better once they turn it into a giant Westfield. Oh wait, did those words bubble unaccountably from my mouth? What am I saying.

That sounds grim, but I guess I'm not the Westfield demographic. I think I've walked through the Stratford a couple of times to get to the Olympic Park aqua centre without feeling the urge to stop. Oh and the all terminals at LAX are now apparently Westfield. It just makes me drink. None of the shops sell chainsaws or anything useful.

If you want a proper Croydon zombie experience, try the High Street on a Friday or Saturday about midnight. Remember the bit on Apocalypse Now where all the shit is exploding and Willard is just wandering through. It's like that. The horror, the horror. The last time I got a tram there was a fight. I think it might have been disappointing if there wasn't a fight. As the woman opposite us remarked: 'it's just not fair, that's two onto one.' If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an unfair tram fight. Come on, Croydon.

I like the Sun. Nice beer garden and it's handy for refreshment after a cycling adventure. And it's not staffed by officious little shits.

[Steph]

 pop up to Crodyon every now and again, usually for a support group at the Windmill. And the Ship, of course.

[HTFB]

The electric heater is not drying out the air! it's cold, cold air carries less humidity, and is therefore cold dry air. Now the heater is on you've turned cold dry air into warm dry air. The electric heater did not "dry" out the air, and your insistence that it did contrary to what science says is bullshit.

Well, assuming there is no loss of moisture, using an electric heater to warm up a room will reduce the relative humidity.

It will feel less damp to a human being, even though no moisture has been removed.

Unless the building is sealed, there is air exchange with the outside world, and warm air escaping will carry more moisture away than the cold air can carry in. And the temperature differential will speed up the air movement, by convection. Heaters do really dry rooms out.