The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[Legs]

To the cretinous fucknugget who evidently chose to forgo the convention of driving on *the road* and instead generated foot-deep ruts on my verge:

I hope that the conspicuous rocks that I had positioned to obviate such incidents broke the suspension of your poorly-piloted vehicle, and that the repair bill makes your sphincter quiver.


you utter, utter cunt.

[Legs]

Oh, and dog-emptiers of Staffordshire:

Please have the decency to at least flick your mutt's excrement into the bushes or pick it up, rather than leaving it in the middle of the lane. 

[T42]

^^^Horse-emptiers take note; and carry a 25-litre reinforced plastic bag.

[Legs]

I don't mind the horse-emptiers (of which we also have many).  If I could be arsed, I'd scoop that up myself and stick it on the compost heap.  Just the bloody dog filth...

[ian]

To the cretinous fucknugget who evidently chose to forgo the convention of driving on *the road* and instead generated foot-deep ruts on my verge:

I hope that the conspicuous rocks that I had positioned to obviate such incidents broke the suspension of your poorly-piloted vehicle, and that the repair bill makes your sphincter quiver.


you utter, utter cunt.

Yes, I get this (I live on a narrow 25% hill by a tight t-junction with a lane and no pavements, so the verge at the top of my front garden is the roadside). Lorry drivers cut the corner mostly because they're either in a hurry or crap and usually both (they can make it, the bin men manage). And car drivers who can't be bothered waiting if they see the car coming up the hill (it's not wide enough for two modern cars to pass) so bump up onto our (or our neighbour's) verge. In winter this means it gets churned up.

We have some nice concrete bollards that periodically get hit (they're fixed into the ground with a half-metre of scaffolding pole which means nothing short of a lorry will budge them). It gives me no inconsiderable satisfaction to see the multicoloured scrapes of paint they have accumulated.

Oddly, it hasn't happened in the while. I've let the weeds grow tall on the actual corner so drivers can't see what's hiding in them. The fear seems to discourage them even more than the bollards.

Anyway, I too hope it's expensive for them, since they can't be bothered waiting an entire 10 seconds (probably even fewer) or taking a bit of care.

[tiermat]

Accident scammers.

At least have the decency to have all the info to hand before calling me, otherwise you are going to get a load of abuse.

Today's phone call:

<FX:telephone ringing>
ME: Hello?
Droid: Hello, this is XXX from YYY, how are you today?
ME: I'm ok, not that you actually care, as you are just reading from a script.
Droid: I am am ringing about an accident that happened in the last two years.
ME: When, exactly?
Droid: Urm, in the last year
ME: <ignoring that change from two years to one> When, exactly, last year was 365 days long.
Droid:<detecting maybe he is rumbled> Urm, maybe I have the wrong person, have you been involved in an accident?
ME: Well, it depends who you want to talk to as to whether you have got through to the right person, what is the name of the person you want to talk to? If you have the details there you will have the name.
Droid: Urm, ah, err <FX:paper shuffling> a Mr, errr, Mr ...John?
ME: Nope, no one here by that name, now why don't you just take your scamming script, shove where the sun doesn't damned well shine and fuck right off, when you have finished doing that, you can fuck off a bit more, remove my details from your database and then fuck completely off, never calling me again, OK?
Droid: ...
ME: Bye <hangs up the phone>

[Kim]

There's a lovely bit in Steven Gould's Jumper^[1] where the protagonist gets annoyed with a particularly poorly timed scam call, so teleports into the scammers' building after-hours and re-programs the dialer robot with the employee phone directory.


_{[1] A YA science fiction story from the 1990s which is notable for attempting to do teleportation properly, as well as an unusually frank depiction of parental abuse.  I re-read it recently, after discovering a whole series had been written (and a disappointing film made) while I wasn't paying attention.}

[citoyen]

PPI scammers, if you must phone me despite my number being TPS listed, at least have the decency to call me in person rather than getting your robot to do it - that way, it's much easier for me to remind you that you are a CUNT.

[mrcharly-YHT]

There's a lovely bit in Steven Gould's Jumper^[1] where the protagonist gets annoyed with a particularly poorly times scam call, so teleports into the scammers' building after-hours and re-programs the dialer robot with the employee phone directory.


_{[1] A YA science fiction story from the 1990s which is notable for attempting to do teleportation properly, as well as an unusually frank depiction of parental abuse.  I re-read it recently, after discovering a whole series had been written (and a disappointing film made) while I wasn't paying attention.}

The film is crap

The book is rather brilliant, mostly for its portrayal of personal relationships, and the effects of domestic violence.

[ElyDave]

I have accident scammers still calling me from an incident about 5 years ago, no fault, no injuries, just me and a tree involved.

I just go into a loop about short term memory loss, and can they help me with that.  About third time round they get the idea and hang up

[hellymedic]

I have accident scammers still calling me from an incident about 5 years ago, no fault, no injuries, just me and a tree involved.

I just go into a loop about short term memory loss, and can they help me with that.  About third time round they get the idea and hang up

 

[citoyen]

I just go into a loop about short term memory loss, and can they help me with that.  About third time round they get the idea and hang up

I am so borrowing that. 

[ElyDave]

and on that thread

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-39664987

Bloody Hell!

[Cudzoziemiec]

Shows how tough modern cars are though.

[arabella]

It didn't look like the driver/passenger were hanging around to exchange details ...
I then made the mistake of clicking on cake smash, thinking it was some idea about making your cake out of mashed potato (there was a rice-pudding-esque mash recipe in the graun the other week).  The phrase 'more money than sense' swam freely around my brain.

[hellymedic]

Shows how tough modern cars are though.

Indeed. Pity anybody hit by one though...

[jsabine]

Shows how tough modern cars are though.

Indeed. Pity anybody hit by one though...

Better - generally - to be hit by a modern car than a 15 or 30 or 60 year old one though.

[hellymedic]

Shows how tough modern cars are though.

Indeed. Pity anybody hit by one though...

Better - generally - to be hit by a modern car than a 15 or 30 or 60 year old one though.

Modern cars have fewer pokey protrusions and pedestrian-friendly bumpers BUT are heavier.

[orienteer]

Pedestrian airbags are now being fitted to bonnets, think this is part of the latest safety legislation for new models. Volvo example here: http://www.popsci.com/cars/article/2013-02/volvos-new-airbags-protect-pedestrians-too

[jsabine]

They've been agin spiky bits of engine immediately under the bonnet for a while now, and very much in favour of making you bounce off (relatively) harmlessly rather than pulling you under the wheels.

There are enormously fewer deaths on the roads than there used to be, and whatever we may think, the UK is close to the top of the league.

[Kim]

There are enormously fewer deaths on the roads than there used to be, and whatever we may think, the UK is close to the top of the league.

Indeed, but that has to be considered in the context of  a) Vehicle occupant deaths vs vulnerable road user deaths,  and more subtly  b) The extent to which vulnerable users have been removed from the roads, through years of 'road safety' and paedobear education campaigns, anti-motorcycle legislation and massive subsidy of private care use.

I'm all for reducing road deaths, but making a society where it's considered bad parenting to allow your children to travel to school without wearing a car isn't really the best approach.


ETA: I forgot c) All the 'hidden' deaths due to lung disease.

[Polar Bear]

Concise and to the point there Kim.

It appears to be the case that in the UK one needs to be seen in a tin jacket to be cool.

I once had a very interesting discussion with a non exec director at Barclaycard.   His view was that it was a disgrace that I commuted by bicycle given my seniority and status within the company.   This was in the nineties though: he probably thinks that I should have a chauffeur by now.   

[jsabine]

There are enormously fewer deaths on the roads than there used to be, and whatever we may think, the UK is close to the top of the league.

Indeed, but that has to be considered in the context of  a) Vehicle occupant deaths vs vulnerable road user deaths,  and more subtly  b) The extent to which vulnerable users have been removed from the roads, through years of 'road safety' and paedobear education campaigns, anti-motorcycle legislation and massive subsidy of private care use.

I'm all for reducing road deaths, but making a society where it's considered bad parenting to allow your children to travel to school without wearing a car isn't really the best approach.


ETA: I forgot c) All the 'hidden' deaths due to lung disease.

I absolutely agree that it's not as simple as 'we've got comparatively less high headline figures, so we're doing OK,' but I'm not sure that delving deeper changes the picture *that* much.

On pollution deaths, a cursory google lead to  http://www.eea.europa.eu/highlights/stronger-measures-needed/table-10-1-premature-deaths - glancing at that suggests that we're in the same ballpark as others, and far from the worst (10k fewer PM2.5 deaths than France, 3k more related to NO2).

My recollection of the last time I looked at the figures is that *as a proportion of road deaths*, we kill more vulnerable road users than many other countries, but that by other measures (per capita etc) we're broadly comparable - the raw numbers aren't as bad as our overall comparatively low number of road casualties makes them look.

I wonder if we're now at a point where, in the absence of a concerted Vision Zero programme, we can't expect much more of a drop in road deaths - certainly they've plateaued over the past few years.

And it seems to me that there's more scope to reduce the 50k deaths from pollution (not all of them, of course, attributable to road traffic - just most of them) than the 1,700ish from RTCs. Maybe harder to demonstrate the results, thobut.

[citoyen]

If you're riding two abreast and taking up the full width of the cycle path, too busy chatting to each other to see me coming towards you even when I'm just a few metres away, you have no right to feel aggrieved when I alert you to my presence by yelling "Oi fuckwit!"

[ian]

To the cretinous fucknugget who evidently chose to forgo the convention of driving on *the road* and instead generated foot-deep ruts on my verge:

I hope that the conspicuous rocks that I had positioned to obviate such incidents broke the suspension of your poorly-piloted vehicle, and that the repair bill makes your sphincter quiver.


you utter, utter cunt.

Yes, I get this (I live on a narrow 25% hill by a tight t-junction with a lane and no pavements, so the verge at the top of my front garden is the roadside). Lorry drivers cut the corner mostly because they're either in a hurry or crap and usually both (they can make it, the bin men manage). And car drivers who can't be bothered waiting if they see the car coming up the hill (it's not wide enough for two modern cars to pass) so bump up onto our (or our neighbour's) verge. In winter this means it gets churned up.

We have some nice concrete bollards that periodically get hit (they're fixed into the ground with a half-metre of scaffolding pole which means nothing short of a lorry will budge them). It gives me no inconsiderable satisfaction to see the multicoloured scrapes of paint they have accumulated.

Oddly, it hasn't happened in the while. I've let the weeds grow tall on the actual corner so drivers can't see what's hiding in them. The fear seems to discourage them even more than the bollards.

Anyway, I too hope it's expensive for them, since they can't be bothered waiting an entire 10 seconds (probably even fewer) or taking a bit of care.

And score one of the year to John Lewis. Large lorry, narrow lane 1. Concrete bollard 0. It's mostly straight now. I almost can't be bothered grinking them, but I usually make a profit.