Malapropisms...

[hellymedic]

Freegle today brought me this:

"Hi guys. I am an avid collector of everything and anything bar big/huge items due to my 1 bedroom marionette.

I wonder who's pulling the strings...

[T42]

"Does your partner seem a bit wooden?"

[Ham]

I suspect some of this https://www.autocorrectfail.org/

[Ham]

Here's one that made me laugh. https://www.shpock.com/en-gb/i/Xi3Ng3VOTmZYQCL8/cleaner I assume it was meant to be conscientious

[spesh]

I tend to refer to a particular ingredient I only use in curries as "desecrated" coconut.

[hellymedic]

I think lots folk call it that.

sicca is the Latin for 'dry' innit?

[Ham]

I prefer dedicated, as it happens. Feels like there's more commitment to flavour

[Basil]

Since we have a town near here called Tregaron, the word tarragon has disappeared from our culinary discussions.

[Wowbagger]

See also "Thlatic" and "Athletic".

[Ian H]

A friend was commenting in an animated fashion on the folly of a third party's opinion. 

"If that is the case then I'm a Bob's uncle!"

(I'm unsure whether 'Bob' should be capitalised or not in this case).

[offcumden]

Looking through the reviews for gites (on the 'Gites de France" site ISTR), I read that , "Catherine, the owner, is a perfect shame". 

Which was somewhat off-putting, until I switched languages and found an apparent typo: "... est une honte parfaite" instead of ".... est une hote parfaite". 

[T42]

A brochure I get from a hotel in Italy every year extols the beauty, poetry and effluvium of its surroundings, effluvio being Italian for scent.

[fuzzy]

Makes me ask if the much quoted weather bods 'shattered scowers' or the newsmans 'hypodeemic nerdles' actually happened.

[Wobbly John]

Makes me ask if the much quoted weather bods 'shattered scowers' or the newsmans 'hypodeemic nerdles' actually happened.

...only on re-runs of The Two Ronnies. 

[Wobbly John]

I'm sure we have had this topic before - I can remember ammusing Kim with tales of 'Mongolia convulsion paint' (magnolia emulsion paint). 

[ElyDave]

I've seen the hypodeemic nurdles on it'll be alright on the night back in the day, can't comment on whether it was a set up though

[rogerzilla]

Isn't a mondegreen just a musical malapropism?  I always heard that England Dan & John Ford Coley song as "I'm not talkin' 'bout the Lilians" but apparently "linens" is more common.

[Ian H]

Makes me ask if the much quoted ... newsmans 'hypodeemic nerdles' actually happened.

I once was stopped in my tracks by hysterical laughter, having unknowingly uttered just that.