The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[T42]

Aye well... I managed to put the same battery on charge twice yesterday, and set out this morning on the half-empty one. Still, at least I've had a decent coffee while the damned thing has been charging.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I inherited a bench disc sander from my late FiL. When I saw it, I thought "Why the heck would I use that?"

So, so wrong. It is brilliant.

Yesterday I wanted to sand back a butterknife handle I was making. Paper on disc was worn and clogged, so I changed it for a new pad of 40grit.

Then proceeded to treat it like the worn 240 grit.

Now have reduced thumbnail and very sore thumb.

[Mr Larrington]

The von Brandenburgs came round for lunch to Fort Larrington on Sunday.  Thus stocks of assorted alcohol-free BEER were laid in.  And there was still a fair bit left over afterwards.

Guess which fecking div only remembered that it was still in the fridge at Fort Larrington when he was somewhere near Potters Bar on the way back to Larrington Towers

[sam]

A couple of weeks ago I removed my front and rear lights from the Bloo Bike, which lives in the unheated, slightly damp, splendour of the SEECRIT BUNKER, to save them from a premature corroded death.
I put them in a Safe Place for future use.

A couple of days ago I spotted one of them in An Unusual Location. At the time I thought, Ooh, that's an Unusual Location and got on with what I was doing.

Last night, in preparation for today's commute I looked for them.  Could I recall the Safe Place or the Unusual Location? Could I bollocks.

What you need is a treasure map.

[sam]

Ordered pricey power bank on which to run Macbook Air with failing battery (itself a dud replacement).

Arrived y'day. Looks great. Only problem is, the supplied cable (USB-C) doesn't plug into my older Air.

Ordered Apple USB-C to Magsafe cable. £49. For a cable. Behold the Apple tax. After a period of hyperventilation, bite the bullet.

About 15 minutes ago, discover this won't fit my computer either. Attempt to cancel. Too late, as it is arriving most swiftly thanks to 99p Prime trial purchased for the express purpose of ordering power bank (and possibly later of use for shipping a few other items with price too low for free delivery).

[Mr Larrington]

When you leave a knife with a black plastic handle in a black cast-iron oven dish, bung it in the oven and crank it up to 200 C the result is hot, sticky and no longer much use as a knife.

Bollocksbollocksbollocks

Edit:


Here is a knife… by Mr Larrington, on Flickr

[Feanor]

The Treachery of Ovens

This is not a knife

[Pingu]

A good effort there, Mr L 

[Beardy]

At least it wasn’t a nice knife Mr L 

[T42]

You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.

[Tim Hall]

You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.

I (almost) did that once. My Mora Clipper tumbled into a camp fire, resulting in a melted handle. One of the Scout parents is a wood-botherer of some kind (made his daughter's violin, many, many extremely sharp chisels in his sheds, that kind of thing) so kindly rehandled it with some can't-remember-what-wood. Nice looking job.

[T42]

You can always shove the blade into a cleft stick and go hunt mammoths in Kew Gardens.

I (almost) did that once. My Mora Clipper tumbled into a camp fire, resulting in a melted handle. One of the Scout parents is a wood-botherer of some kind (made his daughter's violin, many, many extremely sharp chisels in his sheds, that kind of thing) so kindly rehandled it with some can't-remember-what-wood. Nice looking job.

We have a number of dog-bothered knives I've been meaning to do that to for years.  Still dunno how a dog could chew the handle of a sharp cook knife all to hell without cutting itself.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Weather was nice on Sunday. I haven't been out on my bike since before Christmas.

Headed out for a pootle and chose a new route.

Two mistakes:
One, tailwind on way out.
Two, far far too far on unused legs. Only 60km round trip, but the last 20km I had terrible cramp in both legs and had to spin along in very low gears.

[T42]

I used to make a practice of setting out with the wind behind just so that I'd have to fight to get home.  Ah, callow youth!

Meanwhile, in changing my stem just now I managed to adorn my second favourite Arran sweater with a delightfully black mix of aluminium powder and old grease.

[Jurek]

Switched off the CH last night just before I went to bed.
13.5 togs of duvet determine that I don't need it running overnight.
I don't run the heating when I get up in the morning as less than half an hour passes between the alarm going off and me leaving the house.
I get home this afternoon to find the place like a tropical greenhouse, with the first palm starting to sprout from behind the skirting board.

Turns out that I hadn't switched off last night. Only pushed the slider switch to the next detent yclept 'PROG'.
It transpires the PROG 4 was running (I don't even know what PROG 4 is as I never programme the heating) when I came home this afternoon.
 

[Cudzoziemiec]

I believe you'll find PROG 4 is surpassed in its horror only by PROG 666 and PROG ROCK.

[Mr Larrington]

When taking the tablets it is important not to drop one, or more, of them in your tea

[ElyDave]

When they slip, veg peelers are also very adept at skinning knuckles

[T42]

When taking the tablets it is important not to drop one, or more, of them in your tea

Old chum of mine once found a stink bug in the bottom of her cuppa.  "Thought it was a bit acrid."

[andrewc]

My mother’s iMac was on its last legs, so I ordered a new one for her.  I went over to set it up today. 
No Bloody Ethernet Port .  I’d forgotten they’d removed those from the base model.  Their router is so old that a wifi connection only gets 10M.  Looks like I’m going shopping for a Thunderbolt to Ethernet adapter tomorrow.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Would prob be cheaper to get a new router.

[grams]

They also don't have thunderbolt 2, and Apple never sold a Thunderbolt 3 ethernet dongle, so your options are a USB ethernet dongle or the Thunderbolt 3 to Thunderbolt 2 adapter and the old Apple Thunderbolt 2 ethernet dongle.
 
(and pedantically none of the new iMacs come with an onboard ethernet port, but some of them come with a power brick that has one)

[andrewc]

    Apple’s site says this should be compatible.


https://www.apple.com/uk/shop/product/HJKF2ZM/A/belkin-usb-c-to-gigabit-ethernet-adapter

[grams]

That's compatible, just not specifically Thunderbolt.

(which is a superfast protocol that uses the same ports as USB C. I'm overcomplicating things)

[Kim]

No Bloody Ethernet Port

I'm anticipating an increasing amount of Bad Swears over this particular problem as it applies to ever more computing devices as the years go on.  The Devil's Radio is not a substitute!