Yep, seen your name on The List. That Ian, it says, is not to be allowed near the front of a Virgin plane even if he's on a lead.
PS. It's FSM. CSD is a Birdseed thing.
Thinking about it, I've probably demoted her through the process of managerial inflation (everyone aboard the mothership these days is a director, even the person who empties the dishwasher). I think she's the grand overlord who, when you'd much rather be in X, has decided you'll be in Y.
Getting upgrades used to be easy. All you needed were clean pants, a shave, and a smile (I'm not convinced about the former, but why take the chance). Nowadays, I reckon even RB would get bounced. Nobody wants a hobo beard in first class. I think my crappiest upgrade of late was when I wangled one on BA because they cancelled my direct flight to Phoenix and the only option was to go via IAD. Sure, said I, to the phone drone, but you can bump me up to First. He made a kind of ahhh-ahhhh-at-cha-cha noise and had to refer to his supervisor, who had to refer to his supervisor, and up the rungs of the pointless management ladder we climbed till someone begrudgingly agreed that yes, they supposed they could upgrade me. He sounded like he was agreeing to let me pull out his teeth, but I didn't care. Crowned with victory I did a celebratory lap of the terminal and presented myself to the gate. Stand in line you little plebs, because fast-track boarding here I come.
I don't know if they did it on purpose just to get me back for waking up the BA Senior Vice President Director of Awkward Customer Flight Rearrangement Services, but I swear they called the Bermuda Triangle and flew in a plane direct from 1972. I worked that out from the in-flight entertainment selection (of which they'd discarded the 'selection' component). Mind you, they'd perfectly replicated the experience of flying US domestic. Of course, we were late into IAD so I had a night at the Hilton for my troubles and then finally two days later I got to Phoenix. At some point over the midwest my bags evidently divorced me and moved to Denver.