I'll be honest, Seagal has let himself go. You can't not rate Under Siege I and II, they're classics and if the Oscars weren't so phoney, they would have won them all. Even some Oscars don't actually exist. Lately, well, I can bear to see a man who has scaled such heights wallow in the valleys where the only thing he's fighting is his gut and it's a fight he's losing.
And remember, I sat back a while ago and watched all the Nicolas Cage movies which qualifies me both as an expert on awful movies and self-inflicted trauma. Left Behind should be entombed in a lead and concrete sarcophagus and dumped in the Mariana Trench. After we've sent a submarine down there to dig a deeper basement. I didn't, to be honest, think they could make a movie worse than Prometheus, but then I learned that Nic Cage has starred in all of them. So Prometheus would have worse if Nic has been in it. There's an entire new calibration required. Ridley, I think he's still available for the sequel, you hear. You can almost hear the splash that lavatorial depth charge would make as it's released.
Arnie is a good action staple. You'd almost liked to be punched by him. Even if he was a T100. They should have stopped the Terminator franchise at II though (and the same for Alien). It's a rule that if the sequel is on a par or better than the original: STOP!
Dolph was forgettable. Now JCvD, he's in a league of his own. He sent me an email once, which I treasure even more than the sincere apology letter I received from the deputy PM of Canada.
But there's really only one action movie moment that is beyond all others. That's the bit in Hellbound where Chuck Norris beats 666 shades of crap out of a demon. If you've not seen this movie, see it. Honest, put aside all the Chuck 'Right Wing Loon' Norris, and witness a man fight a demon. With his fists. You can't do that in real life. I mean, me and you, we wouldn't. No way. But Chuck, he's no you and me. Oh and Chuck's character name: Frank Shatter. What a fucking awesome name.
