Yet Another Cycling Forum
General Category => Freewheeling => Topic started by: billplumtree on 29 May, 2014, 07:52:58 pm
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...you're idly flipping through the latest CTC magazine, notice a big picture of a tyre end-on, think "Oh, I recognize that tread, it's a Pasela". Then see that it is, indeed, a full-page ad for Panaracer Pasela.
My name is billplumtree, and I'm a bike nerd...
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Next up, Name That Tyre, entirely from the sound it makes on the road ......
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You are idly flicking through the CTC mag and notice your younger sister modelling the latest "retro" club top...
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More a "you know you spend too kuch time on yacf" than just a cyclist, but:
When you read a leader in a magazine that mentions a) tie wraps and b) India and your first thought is "I bet that is by Deano". And it is...
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You post on a thread which has 200+ entries on helmet use...
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You buy cotton buds to clean between chain plates and inside bolt heads.
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When you choose your washing cleaner with care.
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Your backside no longer feels the bumps.
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More a "you know you spend too kuch time on yacf" than just a cyclist, but:
When you read a leader in a magazine that mentions a) tie wraps and b) India and your first thought is "I bet that is by Deano". And it is...
;D
I did have a few people ask me about that.
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...you choose where to shop based upon the adequacy of the bike parking.
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You buy cotton buds to clean between chain plates and inside bolt heads.
Ooh, that's a good one. Can't believe it never occurred to me before. I shall have to adopt it.
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...if you need some talc, you look in the kitchen, near the inner tubes
...if you need baby wipes, you look in the kitchen where they are handy for bike cleaning
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...it hurts but you enjoy it.
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...if you need some talc, you look in the kitchen, near the inner tubes
...if you need baby wipes, you look in the kitchen where they are handy for bike cleaning
Swarfega, on the other hand, is in the bathroom next to the shampoo.
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...you eat a huge bowl of pasta and a large chicken breast for breakfast.
(me today)
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...if you need some talc, you look in the kitchen, near the inner tubes
...if you need baby wipes, you look in the kitchen where they are handy for bike cleaning
Swarfega, on the other hand, is in the bathroom next to the shampoo.
Our Swarfega is by the kitchen sink.
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There are inner tubes hung up on the stair rail waiting to be patched
There are tyre marks on the door from bringing the bikes in the house
You are out walking and habitually work out the brand of tyre from the local mountainbikers due to their track inprints. "ooh a minion"
Sweets are known as 'bonk rations' and it's perfectly acceptable to have a cupboard full of them
Allen keys can be found anywhere. Including the cutlery drawer. Scissors are often lost and then found in the tool box
There are numerous GT85/WD40 cans over the house, pretty much all of which are empty
Daily clothes are 'cycling clothes' as pretty much most evenings are spent riding after work
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...if you need some talc, you look in the kitchen, near the inner tubes
...if you need baby wipes, you look in the kitchen where they are handy for bike cleaning
Swarfega, on the other hand, is in the bathroom next to the shampoo.
Our Swarfega is by the kitchen sink.
Yeah, I've got some there too, but that's boring and normal.
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...if you need some talc, you look in the kitchen, near the inner tubes
It's rather good for sticky hoods too :thumbsup:
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... underwear, pyjamas and, frequently, the baby have chain oil marks on them
...all the walls have marks at handlebar and pedal height
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...but you get upset when there's a wall mark on your handlebars
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You have three pairs of sod shoes lined up under the hall radiator and gloves on the shelf above.
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Scissors are often lost and then found in the tool box
Yeah
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You have three pairs of sod shoes lined up under the hall radiator and gloves on the shelf above.
THREE PAIRS of SPD shoes?
I wish it were that few!!!
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You have three pairs of sod shoes lined up under the hall radiator and gloves on the shelf above.
THREE PAIRS of SPD shoes?
I wish it were that few!!!
you have your own shoe rack :facepalm:
And it still can't cope with the extra pairs you buy!
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We don't have a shoe rack.
Hall contains an overloaded coatstand, umpteen SPD shoes, half a dozen rack packs, several panniers, one bicycle, a coolbag for the milkman, windowsill adorned with gloves, lubricant, cycle clips, road sign protecting wall from pedal and chain, radiator shelf with A-Zs, hairbrushes and little plaque stating 'This home is protected by an ever-present coating of dust'...
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We don't have a shoe rack.
Hall contains an overloaded coatstand, umpteen SPD shoes, half a dozen rack packs, several panniers, one bicycle, a coolbag for the milkman, windowsill adorned with gloves, lubricant, cycle clips, road sign protecting wall from pedal and chain, radiator shelf with A-Zs, hairbrushes and little plaque stating This home is protected by an ever-present coating of dust'...
You actually don't have room for a rack ;D
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I was driving home last night (had picked car up from service). I almost took the short cut that I normally take on the bike: the one that involves cycling up the dropped curb at the zebra crossing and along the 4' wide mixed use path :o
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you habitually drink from a water bottle
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Next up, Name That Tyre, entirely from the sound it makes on the road ......
Or name that free hub based on the sound of the person behind freewheeling.
"Oh, it's a hope hub" *turns round to check* *finds hope hub*
J
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When you see an advertising photo of two glamorous models on Moulton bikes (from the 1960's when the f-frame was the biggest selling bike in the UK) and notice that:
1 - one of them is sitting on the rear rack - that's going to bend the frame tube, that is
2 - the rear tyre is flat
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As you lie on the ground, groaning, and waiting for the ambulance crew to pick you up, you utter the immortal words:
"How is my bike?"
At least, that's what they told me the test was...
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Corollary to that: While someone's lying on the ground groaning as you wait for the ambulance to turn up, you're able to reassure the casualty by determining that the saddle and bar tape are a bit scuffed, but everything else seems fine.
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Nah, they're not a real real cyclist unless they then jump up and explode in fury, "But that was the Brooks Swift my great-grandfather bought from Robertson's of Newton Cross with his first wage packet in August 1937!"
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All the forks and spoons are bent from being used as emergency tyre levers when you (or your adolescent kids more often) can't lay hands on the real thing just before going to school. Add to that you can never find enough forks and spoons because they have been lost in the garage or on the pavement outside!
There are greasy fingerprints on your mum's special talc (which wasn't next to the inner tubes but now lurks somewhere in the garage) - that was the ado speaking.
All the bottoms of the right legs of your trousers are ripped from flapping into the chain of your fixed wheel at speed
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You see a headline about "Virtual Reality Headsets ... blah ... "
and think:
what the heck use is a VR headset?!?
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Thinking of starting a new thread: “you know s/he’s not a cyclist when ...”. My first post will be “when s/he starts their twitter rant with the words ‘as a keen cyclist myself ...’ ”
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When you have a Park tools tyre patch in oneof the credit card slots of your wallet or purse.
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When cycling is an ingrained part of your being.