Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists

[Kim]

I try to avoid weekends, and evenings in peak gardening season, which helps.  Worst I've had queue-wise was maybe a dozen cars, so I just waited in line.  If the queue were sillier than that, I'd probably divert to the cycle route and fly-tip it in the canal

If it's just cardboard, I tend to use one of the many cardboard bins closer to home (typically combining with a big supermarket shop), so I think this may be the second time I've been there since the non-collection of green waste kicked in.  I have, however, been caught in the traffic resulting from the giant queue.  A couple of times by bike, justifying pedestrianism and diversion via the cycle route, and once in a car, which was just dull.

[Pingu]

I shouted, 'Nice one, Ninja!' at an unlit yoof trying and failing to do tricks in the middle of the road on my way home last night. He laughed and shouted 'Fuck off' back.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

<indecipherable>!
Me: what's that?
Car passenger: 30! You're doing 30!
Me: 30? Really? ... Nice!

I don't have a speedo on my Langster, so I can only guess my speeds. Nice to get an occasional update!

When my dad was a teenager, he got pulled over by the police for going too fast on his bike. His response was that he didn't have a speedo, and they were just miffed because he overtook them.

[De Sisti]

Me, sat at a set of traffic lights on my recumbent trike.
Car pulls alongside.
Passenger winds down window and says 'That looks comfortable'.
My reply, 'Yes, it's like sitting in an armchair in my front room'.
Passenger says, 'where's your telly then' ?
I reach over, tap my Garmin and say 'Just here' 
.

I like it .

[Cudzoziemiec]

When I was about 15 I had what would now quite likely be called a Dutch bike but was in fact a 1950s Philips roadster made of old bath tubs, with bolt on seat stays and rod brakes. It looked quite smart with its red lining on the mudguards. One day as I was clanking over a level crossing in Stonehouse, which I don't think is there anymore, an old bloke on a C90 rode alongside and yelled at me that I was doing 20mph. Wow, powered by sheer teenage wotsitness.

[L CC]

Riding tonight straight from work I had my trousers rolled up to show off my hi visit lily white calves. Some toff woman slowed down in her SUV wound her window down and told me I needed tights. I thanked her for her concern and said I was warm enough.
WTF?

[Kim]

Riding tonight straight from work I had my trousers rolled up to show off my hi visit lily white calves. Some toff woman slowed down in her SUV wound her window down and told me I needed tights. I thanked her for her concern and said I was warm enough.
WTF?

File with "Are you really going out without any make-up?" I suppose.

[Kim]

"Get on yer boik!" from the world's least observant (or perhaps least imaginative) van passenger.

[Blade]

Female cyclist on last weeks Sunrise Express Audax.

"You should be wearing a helmet"

Me.

"It's not compulsory, where's your bell? " 

[Kim]

Random bloke on phone at bus stop: "Sick boik!"

Child being dragged along by parents: "What's that?" "It's a bicycle!" "Cool!"

That David Cox, of CTC fame:  "Hello Kim!"

Oncoming rider who'd just conquered a Bastard Hill on a local charity sportive: "HUH-EH-HUH-EH-HUH" *thumbsup*

Plus a deployment of the now legendary Col. Bogey horn by a random motorist I wasn't really paying attention to at a junction.

[mattc]

Female cyclist on last weeks Sunrise Express Audax.

"You should be wearing a helmet"

Me.

"It's not compulsory, where's your bell? " 

DEFINITELY an Oik.

[Basil]

This morning as I sat at the lights in the advanced box, I began to hear some sort of bollox coming from a vehicle sat at the front of the queue.  Not the one directly behind me, but the one in the outside lane.
Lots of stuff about “Where’s Wally” 
Huh?  That’s a bit odd.  I’m not wearing a stripy jumper or even a woolly hat.
I studiously ignore it and don’t even bother looking round.  Then it progresses to stuff about moustaches and eventually moves to “gis a goo on yer boik”
It gets stuck on “gis a goo on yer boik” which is repeated ad nausium until I finally turn round and snap “Don’t be so bloody Stupid”
It’s at that point that I realise that the noise had been coming from a mini bus transporting a group what seemed to be young people with learning difficulties.
The main protagonist, who was hanging out of the front passenger window, grumpily replied “Oi’m not stoopid, Oi’m cleva  "

I felt awful.   

[Ruthie]

I was walking on the pavement, but I'm still a cyclist, so it still counts right?

On the way home from a meeting last night a car came from behind me, with a kid of about 20 with one of those whipped-cream hairdos leaning out of the window.  He shouted "Yer speccy twat!"

Haven't been called that since I was about 14!

Then, further along the next road, two little kids were racing their scooters along the pavement.  I stood aside to let them past and the little girl shouted "Thank you old lady!"

 

[L CC]

We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

[Kim]

We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?

[Basil]

We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?

Like a unicycle?  Oh, hang on....

[Kim]

We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?

Like a unicycle?  Oh, hang on....

[woollypigs]

Two today

1/ That looks way to comfy

2/ wow they come with chairs now

[T42]

Plus a deployment of the now legendary Col. Bogey horn by a random motorist I wasn't really paying attention to at a junction.

I once had the pleasure of watching a bloke who used one of those come round a bend straight into a police trap.

Maybe we should have a schadenfreude thread.

[hellymedic]

Maybe we should have a Schadenfreude thread.

Good idea! 

Maybe best in 'The Pub'.

[sam]

Having stopped near Berwick yesterday morning, on a drizzly minor road, to specifically photograph some terrible potholes I knew would 'still be there' (bless East Sussex CC), I thought I'd photograph little Bradley in one of them (Instagram: @mr.rigs if anyone's interested), and noticed this chap approaching me. I'd just got my phone out and as he cycled past I said "Morning" to him, and his reply was: "Put your fucking phone away!"

Saw a woman riding phone to ear down Oxford Street the other day. (I know, I know. It would've been more impressive if she was texting, or solving a Rubik's Cube). It honestly cheers me to see people flouting ealth & safety. Personally I noise cancel any oiksomeness with earphones.

I replied: "I'm photographing potholes!"

There remain potholes near me in Far East Sussex which were gouged long before you posted this. If they fixed them now I'd probably continue to zig and zag around them, like an amputee scratching a phantom limb.

[Si S]

This reminds me I got 'Get a hair cut' last night....its not yet a year since the last one 

[Peter]

But it is a leap year, so come on!

[Pingu]

"Roarghwooargrrrwrrh - jam!", from an oik hanging out of a passing van window. What was I wearing?

[Kim]

"Roarghwooargrrrwrrh - jam!", from an oik hanging out of a passing van window. What was I wearing?

Marmite jersey?