Bicycle uglification / function over form/ rat bikes/ beaters

[greenmeansgo]

There are many threads for lovely clean best bikes, with cranks nicely aligned with frame tubes, valves at 12 or 6 o'clock, marmite in the kitchen etc - very nice they are too. This thread is for beaters, filthy commuting bikes, mismatched components, bikes built from the spares box, nice bikes disguised through uglification, Mad Max styled bikes, basically bikes you like to ride even though conventional wisdom says they look rubbish. I think there's a certain appeal to this kind of bike.

Here's my Langster. I didn't like the zebra look of the paint job, but I did want a black bike. Preferably matt black. That didn't look flashy, because it's going to get locked up everywhere. So I got to work with tape and inner tube.



Now it's starting the mis-matched components phase, because black wasn't available, but blue was and was cheap.



This is how it might have otherwised looked:

[Palinurus]

Looks much better now, I'd nick it.

Chainset like the first patch of clear sky breaking through after a winter storm.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Rat bike! Almost. Looking forward to more photos when it's fully rattified.

[Palinurus]

I was browsing a rat bike thread on the LFGSS forum yesterday.

Very browsy as it goes.

Afterwards I really wanted a fixed gear commute bike based around a steel lo-pro frame, covered in dings and stickers, bullhorns with no tape or perhaps just some bloody bandages cable-tied to the horns.

Then I figured I'd also want a full chaincase, front suspension, rear rack and 'guards. Too much welding involved.

[bobb]

Fucking hideous stem, ugly shaped and angled bars! Bravo! 

[andygates]

Back when I was wrenching, someone managed to totally deaden the handling of a nice road bike with a gaffer tape wrap. Handled like gas pipe, but still had an obvious bling chainring. 

..make sure you don't get water resting under all that gubbins.

[greenmeansgo]

Nice to get some replies after a very slow start! Let's have some pics of your bikes next?

Fucking hideous stem, ugly shaped and angled bars! Bravo! 

The replacement frame had a much shorter headtube than the original, so the stem was the fix to get the same riding position. There's nothing wrong with the angle of the bars though - just the "anatomical" shape of the drops (and the photography angle). Never got round to getting something with curved drops as I'm mostly on the hoods anyway.

Back when I was wrenching, someone managed to totally deaden the handling of a nice road bike with a gaffer tape wrap. Handled like gas pipe, but still had an obvious bling chainring. 

It doesn't appear to have affected the ride at all - I'm surprised tape would have enough strength to do so.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Back when I was wrenching, someone managed to totally deaden the handling of a nice road bike with a gaffer tape wrap. Handled like gas pipe, but still had an obvious bling chainring. 

It doesn't appear to have affected the ride at all - I'm surprised tape would have enough strength to do so.

I'm presuming something to do with resonant frequencies being damped. Maybe?!

[greenmeansgo]

Looks much better now, I'd nick it.

Cheers!

Chainset like the first patch of clear sky breaking through after a winter storm.

Poetic!

I was browsing a rat bike thread on the LFGSS forum yesterday.

I went over for a look - just what I had in mind!

[Deano]

Oh, go on then.

Built completely from spares from the box. Stickers by SFUN. The only expense was a can of clearcoat for the stickers.



The frame is a Diamondback Outlook from around 2000, the forks are from a frame I found in a ditch near Yarm, and the rear wheel is a 32-hole rim on a 36-hole hub, and it's such a mess that I didn't bother fitting a rear brake. It's purely for locking outside the pub, or for leaving at the station.

[Jurek]

Oh, go on then.

Built completely from spares from the box. Stickers by SFUN. The only expense was a can of clearcoat for the stickers.



The frame is a Diamondback Outlook from around 2000, the forks are from a frame I found in a ditch near Yarm, and the rear wheel is a 32-hole rim on a 36-hole hub, and it's such a mess that I didn't bother fitting a rear brake. It's purely for locking outside the pub, or for leaving at the station.

Like.
Bars?

[Deano]

Cheers!

The bars were some stock drop bars, which I hacksawed down.

[Palinurus]

the forks are from a frame I found in a ditch near Yarm

This is the best bit.

[Deano]

Completely true. I only wanted the forks but I didn't have the tools to shift them there, and I ended up riding the 12 miles back to Darlo with the frame over my shoulder.

Personally, I reckon the best bit is the seat post - there is another seat post inside the seat tube, which was so firmly stuck that I couldn't remove it, so I chiselled it down to a point where I could fit another seat post above, at about two inches above the recommended minimum insertion limit.

[Biff]

[greenmeansgo]

Quick - someone pass the mind bleach!

[Deano]

Urgh. Too far, biff.

[L CC]

See how the bar tape is matched to the accent colour on the frame? Classy.


(It's a bit unfair taking the piss as this is clearly the bike of someone with a bad back who needs a more upright position, and there's really nothing funny about that)

[Gus]

See how the bar tape is matched to the accent colour on the frame? Classy.


(It's a bit unfair taking the piss as this is clearly the bike of someone with a bad back who needs a more upright position, and there's really nothing funny about that)

If it had been an early 90's Motobecane,  then it's my dads bike. I rebuild it like that.( bad back & stiff neck)

[JennyB]

Thonet as in bentwood chairs? 

[iddu]

Thonet as in bentwood chairs? 

http://www.andymartinstudio.com/bend/Thonet-bike/

[Palinurus]

No photo for you but I was in the LBS picking up a wheel and there were two bikes in the service area, both custom-made steel frames from the same builder, one with a mixte frame- both designed with the right fittings for the Speedhubs which each bike had. They each had front and rear racks so appeared to be set up for touring.

But both had the most enormous saddles I have ever seen. Huge padded things, no idea whether such a saddle is actually available (seems unlikely) or whether they were custom-made. Really big,  several inches of padding.

Clearly someone had a very specific idea of what they wanted.

[Auntie Helen]

You see saddles like that in Germany all the time so they'd probably imported them from there!

[Kim]

Giant padded saddles are quite comfortable, iff you're riding in a very upright position and not doing it for prolonged periods.

[greenmeansgo]

Kona (Kilauea I think) must be from the early 90s. XTR mech and brakes, XT levers, Crank Bros 50/50 pedals... there's some very (well used) decent kit on this, but it doesn't look much to the casual observer. Shame I didn't take it from a better (lower) angle. I would definitely lock it up better if it was mine, though.