Tour de France 2018

[spesh]

Joking apart, the blurb on Pinarell's web site says something about the downtube on the Bolide TT frame being redesigned to better accommodate a water bottle, which explains the shape.

http://cdn2.cyclist.co.uk/sites/cyclist/files/styles/insert_main_wide_image/public/4/36//pinarello_bolide_down_tube.jpg?itok=rUIXRs2g

[philip]

Question: moto cam zoomed in on GT's down tube and it seemed all square and looked like it had a solar panel in it.
Any of you clever clogs can enlightenen me?

It's the access panel for a di2 junction box located inside the frame.

[Mr Larrington]

Awards Time!

(click to show/hide)

O hai! Now teh dust haz settled & G Thomas, CP Sagan, P Latour, J Alaphilippe & D Martin r confirmed as pwning jumpers & t'ing iz tiem 4 teh Utterly Subjective P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz^TM® Tour Ov France Awards 2018 4 Things Those Wusses @ Eh-Ess-Oh Daren't Menshn. Teh Utterly Subjective P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz^TM® Tour Ov France Awards 2018 are sponsored by Fischhaus Arnstadt GmbH: «Anbieter von feinem Fisch nach Vereinbarung 2 M Kitteh»".  All results correct @ tiem ov going 2 press so if C Laporte wins on the Champs-Elysées...

Le Prix P Liggett 4 Teh Most Mispronounced Naem Ov Teh Race:	T Skujins
Der Fuß-In-Mund Preis M Rendall 4 Best Colemantary Blunder:	TV's *** Boulting cracking l8 winner wif his assertion that "I Saccharine will finish tenth because B Jungels cannot make up 4 minutes", apparently oblivious to I Montoya N Quintana's headlong plunge down teh GC, matchable only by a depressed lemming.
Teh D Martin Fukn Nails Award 4 Being Fukn Nails:	L Craddock
Honourable mentions:	M Cavendish, CP Sagan
El Premio Brexit-Waste Ov Money (Team):	T Cofidis
Dishonourable mention:	TWG Gobert*
El Premio Brexit-Waste Ov Money (Induhvidual):	A Valverde
Dishonourable mentions:	TJV Garderen, J Birdsong. As usual.
Teh Super D Millar Crystal Decanter 4 Teh Best Barnet:	TV's Super D Millar. Again. ["Fix!!1!" - Omnes]
Mentioned on television:	R Ferrari
Teh Plucky J Durand/PT Voeckler Prize 4 Futile Breakery:	TD Gendt. Again. TD Gendt can keep it if he promises 2 behave next year.
Les Gants d'Or N Bouhanni:	G Moscon
Le Coupe Kenny Rogers 4 Avoiding Teh Old Ultraviolence From Bethany [8]:	TV's Nice C Boardman. Teh craven toadie.
Trofej CP Sagan 4 Most Creative Use Ov Teh Word "Crazy":	P Roglič
Honourable mention:	TD Windmill
Il Trofeo Jarlin J Jarlinsson** 4 Spectator-Related Japery:	J Alaphilippe
Teh P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Barbed-Wire Buttplug 4 Teh Worst Shitvert:	Money Supermarket. Again. Don't bother trying 4 teh hat-trick next year, OK.
Teh Super D Millar Ardea cinerea Binoculars 4 Bridwatching:	TV's *** Boulting
ML Maire's Special Wossname 4 M Smith's Most Entertaining Hostage:	Dokta Hutch
Super-Tw@:	A Greipel teh goriler ov 3b ["MUNKEH!!1!" - Omnes]
C Vasseur:	Yay! Enfin we w1nz0red somethi... oh! Piss!

* T Moviestar were well in teh running until I Montoya N Quintana went & spoiled it by pwning a stage
** Teh Colombian Viking

NB: Stage 21 will be l8 coz P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz^TM® iz going 2 a gig this arvo.

[giropaul]

Question: moto cam zoomed in on GT's down tube and it seemed all square and looked like it had a solar panel in it.
Any of you clever clogs can enlightenen me?

It is sculpted for a bidon carrier if one is used, but it’s also the port for the Di2 brain

[mattc]

"bidon carrier" ??!?

[Jasmine]

Lots of pictures of blue tits and dragons wearing yellow jumpers on bookface today. Big news here in Wales.

It's caffeine flavoured shampoo from Germany. $Deity alone knows what effect caffeine is supposed to have on yer bonce.  For myself, now where did I put my tinfoil hat?, I think it's a cunning plan by the Germans to get even more caffeine* into their riders without the UCI/WADA/whoever sussing what's going on.  The shampoo thing is merely an elaborate distraction op. being run by the Bund Deutscher Radfahrer cos it's not a real product at all.  I mean, how can it be?  Really?  Caffeine flavoured shampoo? S'gotta be a blind.  No one would fall for such obvious guff would they?

It's not caffeine flavoured, it actually contains caffeine.  The manufacturer claims that scientific studies show that caffeine can be absorbed by the hair follicles, which activates the follicles, slowing or preventing hair loss. This is why it is a products specifically aimed at men*.  There is also a women's product, aimed at post-menopausal women, with a completely different name (and marketing strategy).

*this isn't mentioned in the TV advert because the Advertising Standards Agency say they can't

[Beardy]

I’ve just had a thought.

Ok, I warned you all.

That nice Welsh chap who is wearing the snazzy yellow pullover has something of a reputation for crashing at the most inopportune moments. Indeed, it was all the talk earlier on when people were saying thinks like it he’s not crashed yet.

I just thought I’d mention it because I don’t think he’s crashed yet has he?

I did warn you that I’d had a thought.

[mattc]

G had a moment 15km into yesterday's stage - hopefully that's got it out of his system  

(he was visibly cautious on all the descents after that.)

Given how he's generally the coolest, least giving-a-sh1t rider in the race, it was REALLY nice to see him blubbing yesterday; and the reunion with wife Stacey* was a delight to watch.

We've had some great moments in this year's race - not a normal Le Tour at all


_{*this is a joke about ficitonal TV Welsh people - sorry.}

[SoreTween]

He had a sphincter wobbler braking into a wet corner yesterday. Up to that point he was fastest but thereon was visibly cautious and so came in 3rd. Will that do?

Xpost!

[Mr Larrington]

And Alpecin are not the only ones encouraging blokes to wash their hair with Coca-Cola doing caffeinated shampoo these days.  You can get caffeine Head And Shoulders too.

I want to know what brand TV's Super D Millar uses, so I can buy something else

[Hot Flatus]

Agreed. A really fun tour to watch. Pro cycling really does need some sort of financial equality between teams, however.

Totally disagree with Dan Martin winning the combativity award.

It should have gone to Moscon.

[citoyen]

Agreed. A really fun tour to watch. Pro cycling really does need some sort of financial equality between teams, however.

+1

Lotto-Jumbo seem to be developing into genuine GC contenders, but I can't see them ever toppling Sky as they just don't have the same depth to their squad. It was probably a mistake letting George Bennett do the Giro this year - an extra mountain domestique of his calibre might have made a big difference for them at the Tour. Mitchelton-Scott are not too far off either, but obviously have the same problem.

Quintana was a disappointment again. His Giro win looks more and more like a fluke with every passing year. Movistar need to get behind Landa as their sole team leader and build a team around him. Although the rumour is that Landa is already dissatisfied and is off to Astana. In which case, they need to back Soler, because he looks like more of a potential GC threat than Quintana these days.

[Mr Larrington]

If Landa does go to AS-TA-NA, whither Fuglsang, who was also a bit Rubbish is this year's Tour?

[mattc]

Lotto-Jumbo seem to be developing into genuine GC contenders, but I can't see them ever toppling Sky as they just don't have the same depth to their squad. It was probably a mistake letting George Bennett do the Giro this year - an extra mountain domestique of his calibre might have made a big difference for them at the Tour. Mitchelton-Scott are not too far off either, but obviously have the same problem.

I wonder what they could have done with both Yates twins? (of course having let them both peak for this race, not the Giro!) They might have used the same "old 1-2" tactics on the long climbs that the Sky duo used to totally clobber Tom. Over 3 weeks I think Sky would still be on the top step, but it might have been a hell of a scrap - especially in the Alpes before the littl'uns tired themselves out!

[citoyen]

If Landa does go to AS-TA-NA, whither Fuglsang, who was also a bit Rubbish is this year's Tour?

If Kittel retires, he'd be a natural replacement to advertise hair products for Katusha-Alpecin.

[Nuncio]

Agreed. A really fun tour to watch. Pro cycling really does need some sort of financial equality between teams, however.

+1

Lotto-Jumbo seem to be developing into genuine GC contenders, but I can't see them ever toppling Sky as they just don't have the same depth to their squad. It was probably a mistake letting George Bennett do the Giro this year - an extra mountain domestique of his calibre might have made a big difference for them at the Tour. Mitchelton-Scott are not too far off either, but obviously have the same problem.

Quintana was a disappointment again. His Giro win looks more and more like a fluke with every passing year. Movistar need to get behind Landa as their sole team leader and build a team around him. Although the rumour is that Landa is already dissatisfied and is off to Astana. In which case, they need to back Soler, because he looks like more of a potential GC threat than Quintana these days.

He's won the Vuelta as well and the 6 GT podiums to his name suggest it wasn't a fluke (though the field was fairly thin that year). But he definitely needs to change something to get back to where he was.

[mzjo]

Hooray for G Thomas, the big cry baby

Eurosport showed several seconds worth - and refrained from making any sort of comment. Some images don't need words and some pro ex-riders are still sufficiently pro ro remember what it's all about.

[mzjo]

Agreed. A really fun tour to watch. Pro cycling really does need some sort of financial equality between teams, however.

Totally disagree with Dan Martin winning the combativity award.

It should have gone to Moscon.

But you have to make it to the finish to collect so, although Moscon deserved an honourable mention in despatches, he can't get a post-humorous award.

[Hot Flatus]

Agreed. A really fun tour to watch. Pro cycling really does need some sort of financial equality between teams, however.

Totally disagree with Dan Martin winning the combativity award.

It should have gone to Moscon.

But you have to make it to the finish to collect so, although Moscon deserved an honourable mention in despatches, he can't get a post-humorous award.

Whoosh....

 

[mzjo]

I’ve just had a thought.

Ok, I warned you all.

That nice Welsh chap who is wearing the snazzy yellow pullover has something of a reputation for crashing at the most inopportune moments. Indeed, it was all the talk earlier on when people were saying thinks like it he’s not crashed yet.

I just thought I’d mention it because I don’t think he’s crashed yet has he?

I did warn you that I’d had a thought.

He's probably mapped the position of every telephone pole and had a domestique watching to make sure that Warren Barguil doesn't get closer than 10m.

[Torslanda]

In the commentary booth, SD Millar appears to have morphed into Bart Mancuso . . .

[rogerzilla]

Does anyone else find the last day dull?  I think 1989, when the wrong guy won (from the French point of view) was the end of a competitive last day, wasn't it?

[citoyen]

He's won the Vuelta as well and the 6 GT podiums to his name suggest it wasn't a fluke (though the field was fairly thin that year). But he definitely needs to change something to get back to where he was.

Yeah, fair enough, I forgot he'd won the Vuelta as well. Although IIRC he achieved it by beating a tired post-Tour Froome and a decidedly below par Contador. And Chaves, who is another rider who regularly promises much but ultimately disappoints.

And most of his podiums were achieved without looking like he was in any real danger of winning outright - eg the 2013 Tour, where the summit finish on stage 20 was billed before the race as being the big decider, but ultimately Quintana went into it with a deficit of more than five minutes and only managed to pull back 30 seconds of that. And last year's Giro, where Dumoulin was able to stop for a toilet break without losing time to him.

One of the changes he needs to make is to break his habit of losing time stupidly on flat stages - as he did yet again this year. You can put that partly down to bad luck but he's done it too many times for it to be coincidence.

[citoyen]

Does anyone else find the last day dull?

I don't usually bother tuning in until the last few laps of the Champs-Elysees, when it becomes the ultimate crit race.

[T42]

Sagan's got a snottygreen counter.