Author Topic: Top Tip of The Day (Read 11795 times)

andygates · « **Reply #25 on:** 09 April, 2008, 10:40:42 pm »

Don't test-fire your coke can stove under the fire alarm.

Martin · « **Reply #26 on:** 09 April, 2008, 10:43:50 pm »

Don't lay tongue and groove flooring from both sides of a room. Especially if you've glued it....

Maladict · « **Reply #27 on:** 20 April, 2008, 02:10:11 pm »

Do not place your toaster beneath your shiny new condensing boiler. It's not as heat resistant as your old boiler.

Adrian · « **Reply #28 on:** 20 April, 2008, 03:03:11 pm »

Quote from: scott on 09 April, 2008, 10:35:36 pm

Quote from: rogerzilla on 08 April, 2008, 09:10:22 pm
Sending an e-mail to a client calling him a "smegbucket" is not recommended.

My sister did this, and still managed to flog him one of her paintings. He was in America and probably thought it was a British term of endearment.

Fortunately some of us over here have access to Red Dwarf. Oh, must head off to the Good News thread...

Is there any term ending in "bucket" that could reasonably be taken as one of endearment?

nutkin · « **Reply #29 on:** 20 April, 2008, 03:09:46 pm »

Before berating the IT people about how long it is taking to set up your account, check that you are spelling the password correctly...

Phil · « **Reply #30 on:** 20 April, 2008, 03:12:26 pm »

Before putting the top back on the meths bottle after your latest round of stove-testing, ensure that it isn't actually on fire.

MercuryKev · « **Reply #31 on:** 20 April, 2008, 05:19:45 pm »

When your new snugpak sleeping bag arrives, don't assume that the D-tab on the bag is there to allow easy removal of the bag from the pack bag. The resulting ripping sound and dis-attachment of said D-ring will confirm to you that this is not its intended use; although you will be given the opportunity to brush up on your sewing skills.

Jaded · « **Reply #32 on:** 21 April, 2008, 09:28:15 am »

Quote from: Adrian on 20 April, 2008, 03:03:11 pm

Quote from: scott on 09 April, 2008, 10:35:36 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 08 April, 2008, 09:10:22 pm
Sending an e-mail to a client calling him a "smegbucket" is not recommended.

My sister did this, and still managed to flog him one of her paintings. He was in America and probably thought it was a British term of endearment.

Fortunately some of us over here have access to Red Dwarf. Oh, must head off to the Good News thread...

Is there any term ending in "bucket" that could reasonably be taken as one of endearment?

hornbucket

Gandalf · « **Reply #33 on:** 21 April, 2008, 10:14:12 am »

When working in a customer's premises and you unplug one of their electrical appliances so you can power your laptop, remember to reconnect said appliance. The sad demise of expensive tropical fish never goes down well.

Gandalf · « **Reply #34 on:** 21 April, 2008, 10:18:46 am »

When you are 12 years old and still have your bedside lamp on well after lights out, do not try and remove the plug which is stuck in the wall socket by using a penknife as a lever between the plug and the socket.

RichForrest · « **Reply #35 on:** 21 April, 2008, 10:42:00 am »

Don't try to light a cloth you've soaked in calor gas, (by holding it over the top of the bottle and releasing said gas with a nail)

It will go bang, cause a bit of a fireball and you'll lose the hair on your legs and arms. The shed was still standing though

Things you try when you are young

Rich.

Greenbank · « **Reply #36 on:** 23 June, 2008, 11:20:32 am »

Resurrected after this weekend:-

When going on a 600km Audax it's best to carry your Pitlock Security Skewer Key with you, rather than leaving it on your keyring in your bag at the start/finish.

tiermat · « **Reply #37 on:** 23 June, 2008, 11:24:16 am »

Quote from: Gandalf on 21 April, 2008, 10:14:12 am

When working in a customer's premises and you unplug one of their electrical appliances so you can power your laptop, remember to reconnect said appliance. The sad demise of expensive tropical fish never goes down well.

One my Father wishes he'd taken heed of, when going on holiday do not switch off all power to the outbuildings, especially if said outbuildings contain your prized collection of tropical fish, which you have arranged for a frined to come and feed during said holiday!

annie · « **Reply #38 on:** 23 June, 2008, 11:39:02 am »

I have far too many to mention right now but here are a couple to keep you going.

When you have painted a garden chair and feel a little tired, move away from the painting area and sit somewhere else, not on the chair you have just painted.

When riding your pony backwards don't expect things to go quite according to plan.

If your horse abandons you in the sea and heads for home and home is several miles away either have money to make a phone call or a pair of roller skates in your pocket.

If you plan to sneak out of the house at silly o'clock without your parents finding out then make sure you are home before the milk man.

peliroja · « **Reply #39 on:** 23 June, 2008, 11:41:53 am »

If you invite a little pussy into your house

be prepared for it to sneak its way back in at 04:00 through the window.

nicknack · « **Reply #40 on:** 23 June, 2008, 11:52:13 am »

If you plan to go on a long ride, don't ride so much in the week before that your knees are knackered.

Jaded · « **Reply #41 on:** 23 June, 2008, 01:21:50 pm »

Do not let cats eat rubberbands.

tiermat · « **Reply #42 on:** 23 June, 2008, 01:23:55 pm »

Quote from: Jaded on 23 June, 2008, 01:21:50 pm

Do not let cats eat rubberbands.

HA! do you not know that you can't stop a cat doing anything? It only allows you to think you have stopped it doing something, and then only if it is feeling generous towards you...

Wascally Weasel · « **Reply #43 on:** 23 June, 2008, 01:26:35 pm »

Don't go anywhere near my mate Rupert if holding, possessing or wearing anything flammable. Including hair.

Maladict · « **Reply #44 on:** 23 June, 2008, 01:37:22 pm »

Don't ride across Shap in a gale.

Paul · « **Reply #45 on:** 23 June, 2008, 01:47:39 pm »

Quote from: Adrian on 20 April, 2008, 03:03:11 pm

Quote from: scott on 09 April, 2008, 10:35:36 pm
Quote from: rogerzilla on 08 April, 2008, 09:10:22 pm
Sending an e-mail to a client calling him a "smegbucket" is not recommended.

My sister did this, and still managed to flog him one of her paintings. He was in America and probably thought it was a British term of endearment.

Fortunately some of us over here have access to Red Dwarf. Oh, must head off to the Good News thread...

Is there any term ending in "bucket" that could reasonably be taken as one of endearment?

"Theresaholeinmybucket, Dear..."?

Ian H · « **Reply #46 on:** 23 June, 2008, 02:01:19 pm »

When climbing on to the roof of your house, using a ladder that is too short by a couple of feet, and then discovering that the slates are slippery enough that you have to scrabble to get to the safety of the ridge, by which time you've forgotten where the now invisible ladder is, and going to the edge of the roof to dangle an experimental foot over is not an option, and your partner's gone out...

...erm...

...perhaps I started this at the wrong point.

nicknack · « **Reply #47 on:** 23 June, 2008, 02:36:14 pm »

Which reminds me.

Don't, when painting the window at the top of the stairs, balance with one foot on the window sill and the other on the bannister rail (which, of course, slopes a bit). The coefficient of friction between the rail and your foot might not be high enough to sustain this position.

Andrew Br · « **Reply #48 on:** 23 June, 2008, 03:28:30 pm »

When riding slowly over a cattle grid, don't focus more on clipping back in than in keeping the front wheel straight.

Andrew Br · « **Reply #49 on:** 23 June, 2008, 03:30:41 pm »

And, if you must do the above, it's better when you're on your own, rather than with a group of mates.

"I shagga da one sheep.........."

Author Topic: Top Tip of The Day (Read 11795 times)

Martin

Maladict

annie

Maladict