Top Tip of The Day

[Jacomus]

When sending an extremely graphic video clip of your man-bits putting millions of little Y-chromosomes onto a pic of your gf, it is best to tripple check the forename of the person with the correct surname in your phone.

Especially if you are living with your gf's mother.

And it isn't very long until dinner.

[Regulator]

When sending an extremely graphic video clip of your man-bits putting millions of little Y-chromosomes onto a pic of your gf, it is best to tripple check the forename of the person with the correct surname in your phone.

Especially if you are living with your gf's mother.

And it isn't very long until dinner.

Dirty boy.... 

[Aidan]

When sending an extremely graphic video clip of your man-bits putting millions of little Y-chromosomes onto a pic of your gf, it is best to tripple check the forename of the person with the correct surname in your phone.

Especially if you are living with your gf's mother.

And it isn't very long until dinner.

This disturbs me on so many levels

Top tip:

Dont ask your ex wife a question about your daughter if you dont want it reported back to her out of context, rephrased and with a certain spin on it  

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

Don't work in social work if you want to retain any enthusiasm for your job, people or being alive.

[mattc]

Don't work in social work if you want to retain any enthusiasm for your job, people or being alive.

Kirst,
Your post sounded so pathetic that I had to click on your signature. If it helps cheer you up, I thought this bit was really funny:

I decided to use the justgiving site because if I die in the course of the ride (67 miles !) your donation will still get to LEPRA

(I think the ride was last month, so hopefully this won't come back and bite me).
(I hope it WAS supposed to be funny ... )

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

I had a shit day at work, but I'm off next week so I can forget about it all then. I didn't die on the LEPRA ride, although the hill outside Freuchie made me wish I did - but it was meant to be funny so I'm glad you laughed.

[Maladict]

When sending an extremely graphic video clip of your man-bits putting millions of little Y-chromosomes onto a pic of your gf, it is best to tripple check the forename of the person with the correct surname in your phone.

Especially if you are living with your gf's mother.

And it isn't very long until dinner.

What this thread needs is pictures!

 

[Chris N]

No.  It doesn't.

[Torslanda]

When placing a roof rack, roof box and cycle carrier complete with cycle, for display purposes, on a very expensive NEW *** in the showroom do try to ensure that the tailgate will still open and clear the roof furniture, thus avoiding VERY expensive - and extensive - paintwork damage to a *** **'s tailgate and preventing the accidental bid for freedom from the bike out of the plate glass showroom window.

Whatever else you do DO NOT RUN SCREAMING 'OH SHIT!' PAST THE DEALER PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE as this only attracts the wrong kind of attention

Please, nobody, ask how I know this . . .

luv'n'stuff

J

[tonycollinet]

That reminds me of this one.

Do not fix a bike securely to a roof rack, and then drive into a height restricted car park, resulting in bent bike, bent roof rack, and bent car roof.

You will be mightily pissed off.

Don't ask me how my brothers friend knows this one.

[Paul]

That reminds me of this one.

Do not fix a bike securely to a roof rack, and then drive into a height restricted car park, resulting in bent bike, bent roof rack, and bent car roof.

You will be mightily pissed off.

Don't ask me how my brothers friend knows this one.

Someone not far from here has that tshirt too.

[alan]

That reminds me of this one.

Do not fix a bike securely to a roof rack, and then drive into a height restricted car park, resulting in bent bike, bent roof rack, and bent car roof.

You will be mightily pissed off.

Don't ask me how my brothers friend knows this one.

Someone not far from here has that tshirt too.

Ahmen to that

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

When you get to work and you're swiping yourself in and you hear something fall to the floor, look around you thoroughly before deciding you can't see anything and moving your bike to help you look again. This will save you rolling the back wheel over your cycling glasses and will avoid you having to tape the leg back on Jack Duckworth-style.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

It's easy to avoid washing up your dinner plate if you drop three pans onto it and break it into tiny pieces.

[Vince]

Do not put your (white) Toblerone on the desk next to the cooling fan on your laptop.
(cooling fans don't give out cool air!)

[hellymedic]

Dark chocolate has a higher melting point...
... but would still melt.

[trekker12]

If you are going on honeymoon and there is a hire car waiting for you at the destination. Always remember to pack your driving licence.

In the event you have forgotten your driving licence it's handy to have booked a midday flight and have been bought a night in an airport hotel by your in-laws the night before - that way there is time following the 6am swearing session to drive home (always at the speed limit  ) and collect it thus negating the benefit of the very kind gift from said in-laws.