The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[robgul]

Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Shirley the cubs can bandage their own forearms using woggles and so on?  Unless they're busy removing things from horses' hooves with a Swiss Army Knife, of course.

Nah. We didn't have Swiss Army Knives.  We had this. With completely useless horse's hoof bodger.
https://images.app.goo.gl/QSwQBGAfSZJxqHLY8

You were allowed knives in the cubs!!???    - in 28th Epping Forest you weren't able to have a knife on you (when in uniform) until you had passed your "hand axe" test in the 2nd class badge. Early H&S?

Rob

[Basil]

That looks more like a splicing spike to me.
Used by salty folk to open up the lay of ropes to splice other ropes into it.

True

[Guy]

Nah. We didn't have Swiss Army Knives.  We had this. With completely useless horse's hoof bodger.
https://images.app.goo.gl/QSwQBGAfSZJxqHLY8

I've got one of those! The Henlow/Clifton Lions were obviously less dodgy than the Epping Foresters 

[Basil]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

[Regulator]

Gave myself mild sunstroke, on a not particularly warm or sunny day.  Didn't noticed I hadn't pee'd even after drink half a litre of coffee and litre and a half of water.  Even made sure I was in the shade too.  No sunburn tho.

Entirely unrelated, many a year ago I completed the London-Brighton. Which I found quite unpleasant, partly as I had sunstroke. All the symptoms, thumping headache, hot, tired. At the finish St Johns Ambulance had a field hospital set up which would have graced a minor war. Scum approaches first aid lady and begs a paracetamol. Ohhh noo Mr Scum - we are not allowed to give out drugs. So WTF is your function then? Are you waiting for a sudden outbreak of cub scouts with broken forearms so you can apply triangular bandages?

Most St John's (and Red Cross) First Aiders are not qualified to prescribe and/or administer medicines.  There are all sorts of contraindications for something as simple as paracetemol.  Their function is - in an emergency - to administer 'first aid' until such time as someone else can treat you, including prescribing/administering any required medicines.

[citoyen]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Looking forward to you posting this again tomorrow.

[ElyDave]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

[Cudzoziemiec]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

[Paul]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

So, where's the butter?

[Ham]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

So, where's the butter?

Deployed outside to keep track of the car washing team.

[Gattopardo]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

The first time you remembered doing it.

Welcome to the club.

[quixoticgeek]

Most St John's (and Red Cross) First Aiders are not qualified to prescribe and/or administer medicines.  There are all sorts of contraindications for something as simple as paracetemol.  Their function is - in an emergency - to administer 'first aid' until such time as someone else can treat you, including prescribing/administering any required medicines.

When I was a Red Cross first aider I was trained to (and authorised to when appropriate) give patients:

- Paracetamol
- Loratadine
- Aspirin
- Salbutamol
- Oxygen
- Entonox

Unfortunately BRC in their infinite incompetence got rid of all the first aid volunteers recently. Which is a bloody stupid move IMHO.

J

[Beardy]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

[Mr Larrington]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Doesn’t everyone have a climate-controlled motor-house?

[citoyen]

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

[Basil]

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.

[Gattopardo]

I've heard of this being a thing, but this the first time for me.  I have just (eventually) found the car keys in the fridge.

Just a new security measure for keyless entry cars, stops anyone stealing your radio waves

"I'm having the garage refrigerated so no one can use 5G to steal my car."

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

I know, apart from insurance reasons.

[Tim Hall]

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.

Labelled "Too short to be of any use"

[orienteer]

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

And random bits of wood.

All that and more.

I can still (just) get the car in, a bit tricky as the garage is slightly offset behind the house.

But I hate having to scrape ice off in winter, and sheltering from the sun helps preserve the paint, plastic and rubber bits including the tyres.

[fuzzy]

Colleague got a text from his girfreind today. I heard "wow! Shes got a job interview at Babestation!"

I raised my eyebrows and then realised what he had actually said was "Wow! Shes got a job interview at Playstation!"

[ian]

You keep your car in the garage? There’s posh.

Any fule kno garages are for keeping bikes and bike related paraphernalia in.

Just get two garages. Then the car has a home (technically speaking, our other garage is the magic tunnel under the house – it's not that posh, they just built an extension over the driveway that leads to the actual garage at the end of the garden). Oooo, driveway!

Admittedly, one of ours is still full of old Ikea furniture. And judging by the cat's love of sitting outside the door, mice.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Modern garages are too small. You can't even keep a baby elephant in them.

[ian]

It says something about modern garages that we had to get custom fitted doors* to replace the rotten ones on ours – all currently available standard doors were too small for the gap.

*actually, they built out a new door frame and used a set of standard doors.

[citoyen]

Modern garages are too small. You can't even keep a baby elephant in them.

Once upon a time, our garage would have been regarded as having room for two cars. The problem is partly that garages have got smaller but also that cars have got much wider.

Anyway, back to divvery...

I was very good yesterday when I got home from my bike ride - kit straight in the washing machine rather than being left in a festering heap on the bedroom floor.

This morning, I was trying to remember where I left my earphones. Oh yes, I know - in the back pocket of my jersey... just tried plugging them in to charge, no response at all. 

[citoyen]

Just get two garages.

I haven't got that many bikes though.