Had a think; trying not to repeat any from the BGB post last year.
Vocabulary for Paisley (and west central scotland in general):
Buddies - People from Paisley
Scran - food
Bucky - Buckfast Tonic Wine
Carryout - Takeaway this can be made up of Scran or Bucky (or other forms of Bevvy, however not both at the same time)
Supper - In a Chip shop this is chips with your Spicy Haggis; any other setting you'll be looked at with wonderment as to why you think you're in a chip shop ordering a carryout
Boggin - What you may think of your Spicy Haggis supper if the chippy isn't all that good
Taps Aff - the sun can be seen in the sky and all the weegies are exposing their anemic torsos to it
"ya dobber" - you're a reprobate
"away an bile yir heid" - Get lost
"You're total doolally like" - You're not right in the head
"Yer aff yir heid" - Likely to be heard if you tell anyone what you're doing, basically you're crazy.
"This isnae f---- Glasgow ya c---" - I'm sorry sir this is Paisley in Renfrewshire, Glasgow is somewhere else
Language for the West Highlands:
The problem here is that Scottish English is spoken very clearly as it was never a Scots speaking area so there is less mixing of the two than you get in the midlands, central belt, north east and borders, but you will find grammar from the Gaelic infiltrating with interesting effects as well as Gaelic words littering everything, but these may also be loan words from Old Norse that were used by the Gaels and now land in SSE too just to trip you up.
Loch - A body of water that is not a channel, and not a sea but is bigger than a puddle, the diminutive is Locahan.
Glen - A narrow valley
Strath - A wide valley
Dail - A Glen or Strath that was named by a Norseman and no one renamed it.
Firth - A Sea Lake or Fjord that isn't called a Loch
Sound/Caol/Kyle - A channel
Sassenach - English speaker
Yes/No - You cannot get a yes/no answer from a local, the provision of such an answer will result in it being instantly clear that you are speaking to an incomer. Questions must be formed so that you can agree or disagree.
Have you had your tea? - You'll be hungry would you like me to put some food on for you?, an appropriate response would be "No, I have not had my tea, I'm rather hungry" although the No is spurious it's rarely dropped, the word is after all a novelty.
You'll be going up Glen Coe then? - While tea is being prepared highland hospitality (which has already insisted you receive it) demands small talk, There's only one possible route to Crianlarich this isn't really a question, but you must respond with "Yes, I will" or "I will, aye I will" to keep things up.
Haggis Neeps and Tatties - Second most likely dish to be served after Mince and Tatties, but definitely the best.
You'll have had your tea! - You are very much not welcome, likely to be heard if you've just declared the king of foods to be Boggin.
