(Yes, sorry, I've failed again)
We were on Blencathra in June when we were joined by a group of teenagers and their teachers. They were well behaved and obviously awed by their achievement and the views.
One of the kids was asking why you could see mountains that were actually taller, but itlooked as ifthey were lower.
Teacher started an explanation about horizons.
Kid replied "Sir - don't confuse us with Science"
Reply -"That's my job - I'm your science teacher!"
Then sat the lad down and patiently explained the whole thing.
'Mummy, they've got lights!' by a small child, in a tone of wonder and amazement...
In Sainsbury's, 8-year old boy rabbiting on to a bored mother.
"and this big spike falls off the church and goes right through him and this other man gets his head cut off by a big sheet of glass and it's really cool..."
"The Omen", I presume.
We were on Blencathra in June when we were joined by a group of teenagers and their teachers. They were well behaved and obviously awed by their achievement and the views.
One of the kids was asking why you could see mountains that were actually taller, but itlooked as ifthey were lower.
Teacher started an explanation about horizons.
Kid replied "Sir - don't confuse us with Science"
Reply -"That's my job - I'm your science teacher!"
Then sat the lad down and patiently explained the whole thing.
I was on Blencathra in June too - and saw a couple of teachers with teenagers - which route did you take?
In Sainsbury's, 8-year old boy rabbiting on to a bored mother.
"and this big spike falls off the church and goes right through him and this other man gets his head cut off by a big sheet of glass and it's really cool..."
"The Omen", I presume.
Could have been Swindon?
Meanwhile tonight, back in the smoking shed at my local (a great source for this sort of stuff)
Two women.
1) "I'm going to see the doctor about my tittyness"
2) "Yer wot?"
1) "Tittyness. You know, ringin' in me ears"
2) "Oh yeah. Tittyness" (Sups beer)
Exit Basil, struggling to keep it together. ;D
And another:
My mother was watching a tea-time quiz:
Q: Which former Playschool presenter recently took up HER place in the House of Lords? -
a) Floella Benjamin
b) Johnny Ball
c) (another female)
Contestant - " Johnny Ball - I've never heard of the other two"
He was a trainee solicitor.
...They Done Boys.
Just had to dig out this thread after overhearing this.
Muppette in pub this afternoon to tablefull of Muppettes.
"I'm really sad. Christmas is nearly over."
Wtf? It's Dec 23rd!
<snip>
Her: Is that for deaf people or blind people?
Me: *Rushes in to tell mates* ;D
Thread resurrected again 'cos I just had to share this with you. :D
Two women outside the Country Girl tonight. (and I'm pretty sure it was the same two who provided me with the "tittyness" quote upthread)
One lady was telling us how she watching "The New Avengers" on channel 2Trillion or something. She had a beef with the fact that some of the screen was taken up with some woman "waving her arms about".
Me: That's probably BSL.
Her: Is that for deaf people or blind people?
Me: *Rushes in to tell mates* ;D
I love the idea of a blind astronomer...
"Peppa Pig has a lot to answer for"
???
Overheard in the loos at the City Screen yesterday evening.LOL.
"Well, good luck with it. Trust your heart. Never your mind! No, never your mind...."
Oh Linds. You've gone for personality again, haven't you?
Overheard in the loos at the City Screen yesterday evening.LOL.
"Well, good luck with it. Trust your heart. Never your mind! No, never your mind...."
I once gotQuote from: colleagueOh Linds. You've gone for personality again, haven't you?
Overheard yesterday evening.
"Blimey, it's still light"
"Yes, it doesn't stay late so early after this week-end"
"dung beetles follow the moon"
Which moon though?
Half of a phone conversation about to disembark
"You get used to it, honestly"
....
"Really, you acclimatise. When I stayed in Bolivia there was ice on the inside of the windows, you just get used to it"
How common is Gaelic in Dundee?Not very. Are you sure he wasn't skipping into vernacular Dundonian (or Lochee)?
Possibly, but having googled that, I don't think so. It sounded like he was switching between two languages rather than dialects, and he wasn't entirely confident in the one that wasn't English. Of course, just cos he was going to or had come from Dundee, doesn't mean he or his interlocutor necessarily lived there, but even so, it was surprising.How common is Gaelic in Dundee?Not very. Are you sure he wasn't skipping into vernacular Dundonian (or Lochee)?
Gaelic and Dundonian sound quite disimilar.
Ah that reminds me of a time I was in Peterborough "he's a young old boy, him" "old boy" being a general appellation... which reminds me of a guy (from Oxon) I worked with in August. He called everyone an "old boy" or "old dear" in anecdotes. Took a while to get used to.
Half of a phone conversation about to disembarkI remember that from Aylesbury in the 1960s.
"You get used to it, honestly"
....
"Really, you acclimatise. When I stayed in Bolivia there was ice on the inside of the windows, you just get used to it"
"Where are you going"
"Milan"
"Hey I'm going to Milan too!"
So what you may ask.
This was on the plane this morning.
To Milan! :facepalm:
More seriously though a lot of hearies hate the BSL terps or closed subtitles which is why there isn't more provision cos they grink the broadcasters who use it as an excuse not to provide the service. >:(
More seriously though a lot of hearies hate the BSL terps or closed subtitles which is why there isn't more provision cos they grink the broadcasters who use it as an excuse not to provide the service. >:(
I've often wondered how hard it would be to have the signing as an option, just like subtitled used to be. That way those who need/want it could have it larger and those who don't, don't have to have it there.
Maybe it could even allow for options depending on whether people use BSL, Manaton (sp?) or some other system.
I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room on Tuesday and couldn’t avoid hearing a conversation between the receptionist and a patient who was trying to inform her of a change of address.
Receptionist: “So, what’s your new address, Mrs. X?”
Mrs. X: “You know the [Name of Pub], well if you turn right just after there..”
Receptionist: “No, what is your actual address?”
Mrs. X: “It’s near the [I didn’t catch what that was], if you go down the Pershore Road….
Receptionist: (Still remarkably professionally) “No. I don’t need directions, I just need the address.”
Mrs X. “Well, if you come out of the surgery………..”
Receptionist: Can you fill in this form and bring it back with you next time? Thank you. Next?”
I meet a lot of my clients in hotels.
Pingu, could you be more specific about the following:Quote from: A visiting lady at workI meet a lot of my clients in hotels.
:o
"and everyone knows all dogs are nazis"
Lads watching the cricket in the pub were discussing the absence of DRS.
"Even football has been kicked dragging and screaming into the 21st century."
Ackcherly, I'm really enjoying the lads' conversation. (I can't avoid overhearing, they're on the next table to me). They're watching the crigged whilst having a very wide ranging "life, universe and everything" chat and banter. I'm guessing they're 23- 26 ish. Their political opinions are very catholic and not at all tabloid headline based.
How refreshing. So much more engaged than the kids of their age in the last two decades.
This is a good thing.
There is just the one of them who is rather out of his depth. He begins every one of his interjections with "I'm not being funny, but........."
And, do you know? He's right. He's not being at all funny.
Still, they obviously love him, so that's nice.
Isn't that in Derbyshire, not Brum?
There's always hope.
I'm from one and in the other.Isn't that in Derbyshire, not Brum?
There's always hope.
People in Edale are round the bend and beyond Hope.
I thought that said 'Hate Jews'.
I'm not sure this one really counts as overheard, seeing as I took part in it, but it wasn't initially directed towards me.
Son, to his mother: "That's too much kanapki."
Me, interrupting: "You mean 'Too many kanapek'!"
I know all the kids use much for countables nowadays, but in some languages at least, you should still distinguish between nominative and genitive. ::-)
Old bloke at the allotment today: "I've got a new phone, too bloody complicated for its own good, mind you the battery's good on it now I'm not using it so much"
Uh?
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage
"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."
I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."
Whatever happened to confidentiality?
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage
"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."
I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."
Easy for him to say. The client's going down, and he still gets paid.
On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage
"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."
I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."
I was once a witness in a trial for assault. The first defence lawyer rattled me a bit, being better than me at it, but he still didn't look happy. Then the other one started - & I almost laughed, because it was obvious that the two defendants had told different stories. This lawyer looked even more unhappy.On the train this evening. Chap on phone across the carriage
"To be honest we didn't really have a defence in terms of furnishing false documents..."
I enjoyed it... The judge was pleasant I thought 6 and a half years was quite light really....."
Easy for him to say. The client's going down, and he still gets paid.
Yebbut it sounds like he didn't have a leg on which to stand. It can't be easy defending someone who is, by all accounts, guilty.
Sat in a restaurant in London, the conversation of the American couple at the next table drifts in and out.
She is distracted by her phone and frequently pauses mid-sentence to tap out a reply.
I caught this snippet...
"...yea, so skid-marks all over my ass...
...
...
...
phalt driveway."
Two men walking towards a polling station: "I tried skunk but I couldn't stand the smell"
Pizza? No thank you, we don't like foreign food.
Two men walking towards a polling station: "I tried skunk but I couldn't stand the smell"
there must be an explanation, but I don't want to know.
I had the correct meaning the first time I read this. Now I can't get the image of someone smoking a small North American mammal out of my mind.Two men walking towards a polling station: "I tried skunk but I couldn't stand the smell"
there must be an explanation, but I don't want to know.
Note for Leftpondian cousins. Skunk, n, super-strength weed.
Hmmm. That mentions nothing about the animal speaking with a French accent and regularly falling in love with a black cat which has had an accident with a paintbrush.
They always goet up early, yer Larxist-Meninists.
Also C. indica tends to grow lower and more spread out; C. sativa plants are tall, thin and more suitable for growing under artficial light in a wardrobe.
Took me a second to realise Meninist wasn't referring to some obscure role played by skunks in the First World War. Perhaps there was a dastardly Bosch plot to train skunks to crawl into BRITISH trenches?
I never quite got the reasoning behind spelling it Boche. Makes it looks French. I suppose it's Krauts begin at Calais.
1885-90; < French, aphetic variant of Alboche German, equivalent to al(lemand) German + (ca)boche blockhead, head of a nail
Usage note
This term was originally French slang, perhaps from the Franco-Prussian War. In English, it appears today only in historical contexts.
Male partner "Look! There's one o' them balancing bikes. In the shop window..."Zimplez. He wants to get a balance bike for their small sprocket. She reckons a bike with stabilisers is more appropriate. Perhaps. Might have been the wrong shop window, of course.
Female partner (who really, REALLY, can't be arsed) "Yer, well . . .It's OK but he'll need stabilisers"
What. The. Actual. Fuck. ?
Little old lady to Truck driver " It's about a mile and a half but not in a big lorry like that ".
Afraid not hellymedic . It is straight up the main road A 695. I would have butted in but her instructions were spot on till the big lorry bit . No harm was done just made every one smile a bit more . I should have made it clearer sorry colin .
Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator. :( :facepalm:
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood
Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator. :( :facepalm:
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood
Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator. :( :facepalm:
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood
In that sort of situation, if there's any hint of a panicked look I'll quite often say something like "If I give you the 55, can you give me a tenner back?" Helps to point towards the solution ...
It's hard to talk to girls. I try not to look at them as girls, and just look at them as people, but it's hard. Because they look like girls.
These days I am listening to nothing but Chopin. And that other geezer.
I do not 'tweet'.
I never leave Walthamstow. It's like a posh prison.
If you actually overheard that on the 12th, I want to know where! Warmley cafe?
Him: ...on the...
Her: squishy bit?
Him: on the really squishy bit
From TimeOut's Overheard in London: this week’s #wordonthestreet (http://www.timeout.com/london/blog/overheard-in-london-this-weeks-wordonthestreet-121115)QuoteI never leave Walthamstow. It's like a posh prison.
If you actually overheard that on the 12th, I want to know where! Warmley cafe?
Him: ...on the...
Her: squishy bit?
Him: on the really squishy bit
If you actually overheard that on the 12th, I want to know where! Warmley cafe?
Him: ...on the...
Her: squishy bit?
Him: on the really squishy bit
Nah, it was a belated remembering of walking back through Clifton the night before. ;D
"Yeah, he converted from Christian to Roman Catholic"I know of evangelicals who don't consider Catholics to be Christians.
I think I can officially say that the area in which I live is going upmarket - on Sunday, in the local park, I overheard a small child being addressed as "Guinevere"
Heaven help her when sh's a teenager.
My real name is Cudzo Z. Iemec the IVth.
You all might know my pa, Cudzo Z. Iemec the Hypodermith. And my ol granpappy, Cudzo Z. Iemec the Vermouth.My real name is Cudzo Z. Iemec the IVth.
Introvenouth? that's an odd surname.
For a reason I never understood and it is now too late to find out, my parents named their four sons with a solitary name each, whilst their two daughters have two each.
I do remember a gent who was...blessed... with 14 first names. His parents were clearly fans of 19th and early 20th C adventure stories, because many of his names were associated, such as 'Rider', 'Haggard', 'Quatermain' and so on. Thankfully, he had neither 'SWMBO' nor 'Ayesha'.
He did, however, have 'Umslopogaas'.
"I stopped doing Facebook. I don't need to see a photograph when my cousin's sister-in-law's daughter gets a new tent."Whereas...New tent? Cool! :D
Two ladies in the Tesco filling station discussing a colleague's domestic affairs.
One said 'Her boyfriend lives in the posh part of Salford'
I said 'There's no such place . . .'
Two ladies in the Tesco filling station discussing a colleague's domestic affairs.
One said 'Her boyfriend lives in the posh part of Salford'
I said 'There's no such place . . .'
Two ladies in the Tesco filling station discussing a colleague's domestic affairs.
One said 'Her boyfriend lives in the posh part of Salford'
I said 'There's no such place . . .'
One side of a phone conversation overheard today.
"So what did you have for dinner last night?"
[""]
"Chicken?"
[""]
"What, proper chicken?"
*boggle*
'You know ISIS? Them terrorists. Some idiot posted on Facebook that there had been an attack in Croydon and there were 27 dead'Brilliant.
'Were there?'
'No. Just shows what sort of rubbish idiots can post'
'Ooh, that's terrible!'
'There was nothing on the BBC or the other news about it. He'd just made it up'
'Still...27 dead!'
:facepalm:
Yeah. I had the same thought, also not immediately.One side of a phone conversation overheard today.
"So what did you have for dinner last night?"
[""]
"Chicken?"
[""]
"What, proper chicken?"
*boggle*
Actually, having thought about it, my guess is that "Proper chicken" may have been referring to a whole bird, roasted in the oven, as opposed to a pack of chicken breast chopped up and made into a curry or something.
If so, I sort of get it.
From Miss Z the younger, philosophically:Yes.
"There are many drongoes in this beautiful world."
From Miss Z the younger, philosophically:'drongo' is an aussie phrase. Where did she pick it up from?
"There are many drongoes in this beautiful world."
Idiot 1: I've gotta get to the Post Office to buy my car tax before it closes.
Idiot 2: You can buy it online now.
Idiot 1: Really. What time does it close online?
Idiot 2: Dunno.
It may seem clichéd that chickens had a mid-life crisis???
The internet is buffeting again.
Just don't.
More to the point, were they *walking* like Egyptians?
Girl on the train.That's not what I thought the plot was :o
...
Not overheard, but rather overshared. During a bout of undoubtedly horribly sexist chivalry I held a door to the café open so a lady with a behemoth main urban battle buggy could get through. Once through she said 'oh thanks so much! I have stitches in my vagina.'
".... suffering from percussion. Shouldn't have been allowed on the pitch......"Well, it's not that wrong, since percussion was probably the cause.
I fixed it, but I fixed it wrong.
Whilst on holiday on one of the Greek islands I met this couple (geezers!) from Tottenham and towards the end of the holiday they were really starting to miss home and especially the food.
Tottenham man - I can't wait to get home and some proper English food!
Tottenham "lady" - Yeah, like Chinky or Indian.
Me - shoulders shaking with mirth.
Biriani stays pretty similar, as does pizza. Oh, wait...
I don't much care about it being authentic, it's just the plates of generic brown sludge that seem to qualify as curry in many restaurants and takeaways.
Yup. My papa was a draughtsman, and the things he had to say about architects would have lifted the veneer off the dining-table if he hadn't been bringing up two kids in the 50s.
Yup. My papa was a draughtsman, and the things he had to say about architects would have lifted the veneer off the dining-table if he hadn't been bringing up two kids in the 50s.
similar things are often said by process engineers who have to operate plants, about the project engineers who designed and built them
Careful now! Miss von Brandenburg is an architect and has been known to lurk in here...
Yup. My papa was a draughtsman, and the things he had to say about architects would have lifted the veneer off the dining-table if he hadn't been bringing up two kids in the 50s.
similar things are often said by process engineers who have to operate plants, about the project engineers who designed and built them
How wonderfully sensible.Careful now! Miss von Brandenburg is an architect and has been known to lurk in here...
Strangely enough I had a conversation with a site manager about this today, after slagging off architects and saying to hadn't got a clue how to actually build their designs:- he went on "when I was a site manager in Germany we used to get all these young women on site. They were trainee architects who had to do a stint with all the trades so that they did understand how things are built."
You have to cut the Architects some slack. The Sydney opera house was unbuildable when first designed. The builders made it work and the world now has a landmark building.I think it was the structural engineers (Arups) who enabled the building of the SOH.
My Line-Manager to the Chief of Staff, in a conversation about the maintenance contractors:
Typical Carillion-Amey, about as much use as a chocolate tea-guard
:D :thumbsup:
In reception at work, a member of staff who recently left for pastures green was being discussed.
'Is that far from here?' The receptionist asked.
Bless.
In Derby, 'Pastures' was used to refer to Pastures Mental Hospital (formerly the Derbyshire County Asylum).In reception at work, a member of staff who recently left for pastures green was being discussed.
'Is that far from here?' The receptionist asked.
Bless.
What, Pastures Green? One stop before Putney Bridge, innit?
So you're saying the architect sketch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyL5mAqFJds) in Monty Python's Flying Circus is actually quite well-grounded in reality? :demon:
"That's like making chicken soup with fish"
... the structural and drainage design of the open-air courtyard in the middle of the school, above all the air-handling equipment,What is air-handling equipment in an open-air courtyard? It it were indoors I'd assume air-conditioning (and generally HVAC) but for an open-air space?
... the structural and drainage design of the open-air courtyard in the middle of the school, above all the air-handling equipment,What is air-handling equipment in an open-air courtyard? It it were indoors I'd assume air-conditioning (and generally HVAC) but for an open-air space?
Air handlers located in a basement below said courtyard. Air intakes to them through snorkel-like intakes. One 4" floor drain in the air handler room. One of the architectural drawings hinted at drains in the courtyard, but the plumbing drawing didn't show drains nor overflow drains.... the structural and drainage design of the open-air courtyard in the middle of the school, above all the air-handling equipment,What is air-handling equipment in an open-air courtyard? It it were indoors I'd assume air-conditioning (and generally HVAC) but for an open-air space?
Thanks.Air handlers located in a basement below said courtyard. Air intakes to them through snorkel-like intakes. One 4" floor drain in the air handler room. One of the architectural drawings hinted at drains in the courtyard, but the plumbing drawing didn't show drains nor overflow drains.... the structural and drainage design of the open-air courtyard in the middle of the school, above all the air-handling equipment,What is air-handling equipment in an open-air courtyard? It it were indoors I'd assume air-conditioning (and generally HVAC) but for an open-air space?
The structure has a severe height limit, so no rooftop HVAC parts, but still .... it's been known to rain and even snow in the Seattle area.
Nine of the 10 poorest regions in the EU are in the UK (and that's before we leave!) So I looked it up, it's based on DGP.
http://inequalitybriefing.org/graphics/briefing_43_UK_regions_poorest_North_Europe.pdf (http://inequalitybriefing.org/graphics/briefing_43_UK_regions_poorest_North_Europe.pdf)
Nine of the 10 poorest regions in the EU are in the UK (and that's before we leave!) So I looked it up, it's based on DGP.The poorest in Northern Europe, not the whole EU. That link doesn't show, but I'd be surprised if there aren't poorer in Eastern Europe (but still within the EU).
http://inequalitybriefing.org/graphics/briefing_43_UK_regions_poorest_North_Europe.pdf (http://inequalitybriefing.org/graphics/briefing_43_UK_regions_poorest_North_Europe.pdf)
We used to live on an estate with electric gates. They put the motors underneath. To save a bit of money, they didn't bother with any drainage, despite the drains being about half a metre away from the compartment.
Anyway, as you can guess, that just meant the motor compartment flooded every time it rained. Electric motors work less well underwater.
Eventually we replaced them with motors mounted on the gates themselves.If you were properly posh, you'd have a liveried man to operate them, none of this chavvy motorised shit.
Programmer says "You don't go changing code just for the sake of changing it"
REALLY? No, I'm fully aware that you lot only change code:
A) when it doesn't work
B) when somebody else wrote it and you know you could write a more elegant method
C) to add a new feature
Um, reason B. What does that sound like?
Riding past a toddler on his balance bike "mum, what's that?" with lots of pointing at funny man on bike.FTFY 😁 ;D
Owl attacks are not unheard of. I once visited a gas compressor site where a barn owl had taken up residence over the door as it was sheltered, and perhaps had some warmth from the exhaust.
It was a problem in nesting season as it attacked people trying to get into the turbine enclosure - big scratches on hard hats.
Announcement over the building tannoy "There will shortly be a test of the tannoy system. This will consist of pleasant music.".
Light classical overlaid with harmonicaAnnouncement over the building tannoy "There will shortly be a test of the tannoy system. This will consist of pleasant music.".
Was it?
"... a film about a woman who's been murdered and comes back as a ghost to help the investigation into her death."
"Is it a true story?"
Eric Hosking, the bird photographer, was attacked by an owl whose nest he was photographing. He lost an eye.
Adult: What do you want for dinner?
Child: Whatever you make, that's what we'll have.
I assumed from the start it was a child. An indulged one.
I assumed from the start it was a child. An indulged one.
Yeahbut Buffy The Vampire Slayer ended in 2003. If it's a child, you'd hope it would have grown out of that sort of thing by now.
I assumed from the start it was a child. An indulged one.
Yeahbut Buffy The Vampire Slayer ended in 2003. If it's a child, you'd hope it would have grown out of that sort of thing by now.
Which means that children who watched, will have children of their own..
Not overheard as such, but the following email appeared this morning...
"Hi All,
We have received a calculator from Peru with nobody’s name on. If anyone knows about this can they please come down to Stores to collect.
Thanks
Kev"
"Why should we go up in the London Eye?"
"Well there's a good view up there."
"That's not good enough. Do we make any cash from having that nice view?"
"No, there is no cash for us from having that nice view."
"Well, we don't take risks we don't have to take."
In human form."Why should we go up in the London Eye?"
"Well there's a good view up there."
"That's not good enough. Do we make any cash from having that nice view?"
"No, there is no cash for us from having that nice view."
"Well, we don't take risks we don't have to take."
Were they Ferengi?
In human form."Why should we go up in the London Eye?"
"Well there's a good view up there."
"That's not good enough. Do we make any cash from having that nice view?"
"No, there is no cash for us from having that nice view."
"Well, we don't take risks we don't have to take."
Were they Ferengi?
Nah, the Ferengi have some redeeming qualities.In human form."Why should we go up in the London Eye?"
"Well there's a good view up there."
"That's not good enough. Do we make any cash from having that nice view?"
"No, there is no cash for us from having that nice view."
"Well, we don't take risks we don't have to take."
Were they Ferengi?
Tories, then?
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳
Bless.
Not really overhead, but my wife has her 'fitness girls' who are generally certifiable and I think all they mostly do is WhatsApp each other. Anyway, last Friday there was evidently a conversation apré-class that led to one of them going home and asking her teenage son what 'teabagging' was. Her second error was telling everyone she'd done this on WhatsApp.Did she report how the poor boy responded? 😳
Bless.
Ah, innocence.
Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.
One feels the need to ask: What on Earth is "Teabagging"? And why does not-knowing generate such mirth? ???It's asking a fourteen-year-old that is mirthy.
Ah, innocence.
Wait till you learn that a 'sea weasel' isn't a small marine mustelid.
Really?
https://www.bateaux-fecamp.fr/sea-weasel/
While we were on holiday I found out that my husband is useless.
He couldn't ride up the hills so I had to take the luggage off his bike and carry it for him.
Middle aged man and teenage girl waiting for the lift to arrive.
Man in resigned voice "You'll have to take them back, there's no point in having an expensive pair of netball shoes that you can't wear because they don't fit"
Girl in optimistic voice "They half fit"
Said to me on Saturday by an oldish lady, as I waited for the second half of a concert to start on Victoria Embankment:There’s jazz and there’s, well, Jazz. Trad is good, that stuff John Coltrane ‘plays’ is somewhat strange.
"What kind of music is this?"
"Band music," say I, because tbh, I'm not sure.
"It's not jazz is it?"
"Nope."
"Thank god," she says before taking a seat, "jazz is just wrong."
Thing is, I couldn't agree more. Remember kids, jazz is wrong.
All jazz is wrong. Apart from the printed literature, of course."jazz apples" make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Wash before eating seems good advice.
Said to me on Saturday by an oldish lady, as I waited for the second half of a concert to start on Victoria Embankment:There’s jazz and there’s, well, Jazz. Trad is good, that stuff John Coltrane ‘plays’ is somewhat strange.
"What kind of music is this?"
"Band music," say I, because tbh, I'm not sure.
"It's not jazz is it?"
"Nope."
"Thank god," she says before taking a seat, "jazz is just wrong."
Thing is, I couldn't agree more. Remember kids, jazz is wrong.
"A timer? No, my toaster doesn't have a timer. It just pops up when it's done"
??? :facepalm:
"My pyjamas bring me joy."
Three women on a train discussing clothes. One of them had done a "programme" where you hold up each individual item from your wardrobe and ask "Does this bring me joy?" If the answer is no, you get rid of it. She got rid of half her clothes. (This programme would leave me naked. There's an awful lot of space between "joy" and "superfluous".)
Yes! I know the woman on the train mentioned a name in connection with it but I couldn't remember it. Her expressive skills are quite entertaining. :D"My pyjamas bring me joy."
Three women on a train discussing clothes. One of them had done a "programme" where you hold up each individual item from your wardrobe and ask "Does this bring me joy?" If the answer is no, you get rid of it. She got rid of half her clothes. (This programme would leave me naked. There's an awful lot of space between "joy" and "superfluous".)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ea6i0J8W2U (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ea6i0J8W2U) This "sparks joy" decision making is A Thing and is intended to apply to more than just clothing.
I could use it to explain N + 5 for my bicycles, perhapsOh yes! "This one sparks joy when I'm riding fast on a sunny Sunday. This one sparks joy when I'm blasting through the woods covered in mud. This one sparks joy when I'm going to work on Monday morning, it's raining and the sun hasn't yet risen. This one sparks joy when I'm lost, cold, hungry and tired two hours from the next control at 2a.m. and this one sparks joy when I caress its shiny parts."
"This one sparks joy when it gets tangled in an electric fence during a damp comedy off-roading session..."I know we've had this before but... https://youtu.be/eUL56vrK75I
Cyclists riding past my window...
Cyclist 1: "There'd better not be a hill..."
Cyclist 2: "There's no hill. It's an optical illusion."
:thumbsup:
Righty Tighty
We've GAMI to replace the shower.Lefty LooseyQuote from: workmanRighty Tighty
Good to know :thumbsup:
Indeed. I was just surprised to hear it from a pro.That is how they became a pro :)
Indeed. I was just surprised to hear it from a pro.That is how they became a pro :)
Indeed. I was just surprised to hear it from a pro.That is how they became a pro :)
Is it time to repost this?
https://youtu.be/Wpzvaqypav8?t=1064
Not if gas is your business.We've GAMI to replace the shower.Lefty LooseyQuote from: workmanRighty Tighty
Good to know :thumbsup:
[1] Unlear as to whether this means Leo's own ear or that of a third party. Also unsure as to which is worse.Also not sure which is worse, but pissing in your own ear is bloody impressive in terms of body contortions. Even more so if Leo is actually Leonora.
[1] Unlear as to whether this means Leo's own ear or that of a third party. Also unsure as to which is worse.Also not sure which is worse, but pissing in your own ear is bloody impressive in terms of body contortions. Even more so if Leo is actually Leonora.
[1] Unlear as to whether this means Leo's own ear or that of a third party. Also unsure as to which is worse.Also not sure which is worse, but pissing in your own ear is bloody impressive in terms of body contortions. Even more so if Leo is actually Leonora.
As a structural engineer, I thoroughly approve of this sentiment.Indeed. I was just surprised to hear it from a pro.That is how they became a pro :)
Is it time to repost this?
https://youtu.be/Wpzvaqypav8?t=1064
No. Did he piss in a bucket? And then say, 'Oh, fuck it'?
"I can't walk over the [Clifton] Suspension Bridge, it makes me sea sick."
"I can't walk over the [Clifton] Suspension Bridge, it makes me sea sick."
"I can't walk over the [Clifton] Suspension Bridge, it makes me sea sick."My first trip to Brizzle was on business and the colleague I was travelling with knew me well enough to stop the car to allow me to alight so that I might walk across the bridge. Dr Beardy and the off spring have also crossed many bridges over the years, often to much muttering which I ignore as I regale them of amazing bridge related facts. I have a thing about bridges if you wondered ;D
In Brizzle it's the M5 bridge (which has a convenient cyclepath alongside) that does that. Not only is the view of the drop more terrifying than the suspension bridge, but if you make the mistake of getting off your bike the whole thing bobs up and down at a disturbing frequency every time a lorry goes past. (Not that riding your bike affects the bobbing, it just stops you noticing it.)
Sir Elton John has this issue with his birthday one year in seven...
I've no idea what "it" was, but how do you drink something without swallowing it?
On a train back from Keynsham (a town you need not have heard of) this evening: "I haven't been smoking so much since the new job. You know, my dad rolls his joints cowboy-style. He doesn't put any joins in them."
I think I gained my Keynsham knowledge second hand, by reading Ye Shedde* and wondering WTF people were banging on about.I have to admit I haven’t a clue what you’re all on about ???
* It might have been UMRA.
My Keynsham knowledge is limited to being in a traffic jam there once, so I also haven't a clue what you're all on about.
Yes. I cannot hear Keynsham without spelling it in my head.Stockwood - Keynsham - A4? Or past Newton St Loe and in the back?
Millions of years ago I used to ride through it on my commute between Bristol and Bath.
Well, between Knowle and Twerton actually, so not as far.
Yes. I cannot hear Keynsham without spelling it in my head.Stockwood - Keynsham - A4? Or past Newton St Loe and in the back?
Millions of years ago I used to ride through it on my commute between Bristol and Bath.
Well, between Knowle and Twerton actually, so not as far.
Spotted this afternoon:
(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/random/IMG_20230423_163455412.sized.jpg)
Tell me more about Keynsham…
I think I gained my Keynsham knowledge second hand, by reading Ye Shedde* and wondering WTF people were banging on about.I have to admit I haven’t a clue what you’re all on about ???
* It might have been UMRA.
I’m old enough to have listened to Radio Luxembourg but never felt the inclination. I have never heard of Horace wossname.
I have been aware of Keynsham for as long as I can remember.
My first venture into electronics was to build a crystal set. My aerial was ~100 metres of field telephone cable laid along the disused railway cutting behind our house. Everything was swamped by the Home Service, then when it shut down at night I'd get the Light Programme, and when that shut down I'd get Radio Luxembourg. Didn't much enjoy it, just getting it was the fun.
"I didn't sign on for a cycle tour of the Amazon Basin"
"I had the vegetarian, with extra ham"Ham is fine for vegetarians so long as it is sliced really thinly.
These are my placenta lunchboxes.I'm told the Germans fry it with onions.
These are my placenta lunchboxes.How big are these lunchboxes? Are they quite womby?
These are my placenta lunchboxes.How big are these lunchboxes? Are they quite womby?