Yesterday evening at The Cricketers, Danbury, where to start? If only The Bard had been there to write a report with his usual flourish. I shall do my best...
The Witham Peloton was small but perfectly formed comprising of me, BFC and AndyC3333333333333333333333. We anointed BFC as ride leader and as is standard he began by leading us away from the pub, into a headwind.
Eventually we swung south. Rather than ascend TMNH by the classic route BFC chose the western escarpment. A fellow cyclist was spotted as we began up Church Road; BFC was sent across the gap and discovered it was Tomsk. We arrived at the pub just before 2100hrs to find Not Nik's Nick but the Other Nick had arrived moments before. Inside, enjoying a lonesome dinner was josser.
The evening continued much as hundreds have done before. Not Nik's Nick but the Other Nick had a rant about some bunch of robbers trying to charge somewhere, possibly his employer, £20k to do something with cable ties and an ethernet cable just so Not Nik's Nick but the Other Nick didn't have to run up and down stairs all day. We drank beer, some of which was made from bears, psyclist missed out big time. Andy C33333333 and I bemoaned the habits and lifestyles of young people. Then somehow we discussed Horlicks and came up with several cunning plans to sex it up so the malty drink appeals to a younger wider audience. josser will be trialing some of our ideas at the Spiritual Home very shortly, Pete and Eileen will be thrilled!
BTW @huggy - in your capacity as Global Finance Director please could you equip the Beer Bitch with a credit card attached to a bank account into which we can all contribute by Standing Order? We decided this would be a good idea
Then something happened. The very helpful and charming young lady who had been working behind the bar came over to tell us it was time for last orders and would we like more drinks? Harking back to our previous discussion I asked for a Horlicks. The young lady apologetically explained she's never heard of Horlicks, it hadn't been covered at school. Then immediately mounting one of my many hobby horses I asked if she'd been taught basic knot tying at school. She hadn't. When I'm President of the Whole World I shall instruct my Education Secretary to introduce knot tying into the National Curriculum.
Anyhow, we chaps began talking about basic knots and I contended that being able to tie
a bowline is a life skill. I asked the young lady if she had a couple of metres of rope behind the bar so Grey Sheep, who had arrived during the evening, and I could demonstrate. She did not. But a few moments later her colleague arrived at our table with some blue polypropylene rope and we were off! What fun we had tying bowlines round each other!
And so the evening ended. We had completely smashed our mission objective that being a bunch of middle aged people talking bollocks at each other with added bikes and beer for good measure. May it be ever thus.
