The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Nuncio]

Number suits owned by me. 5
Number of suits in car when I arrived at hotel in Staffordshire tonight for niece's wedding tomorrow.  0

 

I've taken note of this cautionary tale and posted my suit to Wales for my niece's wedding this weekend.

Blimey.  That's a risky strategy, isn't it?   

If it doesn't arrive in time I'll be nipping round to Basil's to see if I can borrow one of his.

 

Suit arrived in time, though not without some drama. It was waiting at the post office from Thursday but I didn't know till Friday afternoon (the card wasn't in an obvious place). Then when I went to pick it up they brought a Wiggle box out from the back.  Given that it I'd ordered some parts from Wiggle my heart sank, but lifted again when I saw that it was addressed to Salvatore. He'd managed to include shoes, and rolled up jacket and trousers, but couldn't find the space for a bag of Haribo.

My div moment was to forget my wallet when getting intot the wedding car with soon-to-be-given-away daughter.  The free bar (free except for me) was dependent on it. But fortunately the route between chapel and venue was past my house so I was able to ask the driver to pull in for a minute while I retrieved it.

[T42]

Just about to rout my truss-rod channel, I took a dummy pass with the router and found that it seemed to wander. Checking dimensions, I found that one end of my centre line was 2mm closer to the edge of the wood than the other. And the whole thing was marked up with 2H pencil and HB-filled scriber lines that'll be practically impossible to erase.

Bugger.

[Ashaman42]

It's me, I'm the div.

I'm well behind on my engineering project that's the final module I need for my engineering degree to the point where my tutor thinks I should strongly consider deferring the module to next year. Trying to do three modules at once was always going to be tough but I should have made more time or studied better.

Which is fine but the version of the degree I'm on isn't offered beyond this year so I'd have to transfer to the new one and not all my completed modules will carry over so I'll have to do a bunch more at triple the price (I'm on transitional pricing at the moment).

So with a lot to do and not much time I've wasted the whole day going round in circles rather than getting as much done as possible to ensure I've got at least a chance of completing the module this time around.

I feel sick.

[andrewc]

Standing in my kitchen wearing a lightweight dressing gown in a natty blue stripe.  I realise I haven't tidied away all the shopping.   Go to put the large pot of Yeo Valley yoghourt in the fridge & drop it.


The foil top ruptures & I get a directional spray of cool white organic yoghourt right up under my dressing gown  Quite refreshing really.......

[Guy]

Walked out of work yesterday and O NOES! Front tyre was flat at the bottom. Having been a Cub Scout Guy knows all about Being Prepared. I'll just replace the tube with the new one I keep in my pannier. I'd got the spare tube all right...

Question: Why on earth would I want to lug tyre levers and pump around with me?

Ho-hum. Walked home yesterday, and walked in today with said non-essential items.

Bike all fixed now

[TheLurker]

Question: Why on earth would I want to lug tyre levers and pump around with me?

Better than lugging around a non-functional pump and trying to use it to inflate a newly patched tube by the roadside 15 miles into a 30 mile commute at double oh stupid o'clock.  DAHIKT.  See thread title for clue.

[fuzzy]

Standing in my kitchen wearing a lightweight dressing gown in a natty blue stripe.  I realise I haven't tidied away all the shopping.   Go to put the large pot of Yeo Valley yoghourt in the fridge & drop it.


The foil top ruptures & I get a directional spray of cool white organic yoghourt right up under my dressing gown  Quite refreshing really.......

One way of sorting out that irritating medical condition............

[Oaky]

Playing 4 v 4 touch rugby earlier (I'm not a player) I suddenly found myself on the wing with space to run.   I made it all the way,  then stopped essentially dead to ground the ball,  and badly jarred both my ankles.

The left is probably going to be OK, but the right is still smarting, and currently wrapped in a bag of ice cubes and an old tee shirt.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

[Oscar's dad]

Playing 4 v 4 touch rugby earlier (I'm not a player) I suddenly found myself on the wing with space to run.   I made it all the way,  then stopped essentially dead to ground the ball,  and badly jarred both my ankles.

The left is probably going to be OK, but the right is still smarting, and currently wrapped in a bag of ice cubes and an old tee shirt.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

Should I pop round over the course of the weekend with my Healing Hands?

[tippers_kiwi]

Some of us simply are not built to play 'touch' rugby. I learnt this some time ago!

[citoyen]

Oh well, I get to go on a speed awareness course, which should be fun.

Did the course today. It was really interesting - I definitely learned a few things. Pretty much a wholly positive experience.

As many others who have done the course have said, I came away from it thinking it should be mandatory for all drivers, not just those who are caught speeding.

[clarion]

Definitely!

Glad it was a good use of your time.

[citoyen]

Not sure where the QR skewer is for my spare rear wheel. Never mind, I'll just borrow the one from my spare front wheel... 

[iddu]

Yes, you may have been a fan of Tullio's stuff for decades...

...but when you rebuild your wheelset on Shimano hubs, don't go putting a Campagnolo cassette on the order. 

[Feanor]

Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

[fuzzy]

 

[Oscar's dad]

Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in. 

[ElyDave]

Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in.

Or, speaking on a call for two minutes before realising you'd started the call on mute.

[Oscar's dad]

^^^ I've never done that! 

[ian]

Had to do a Video Conference from home.

So I fish out the USB webcam, and clip it to the top of the monitor.
The USB cable trails down the front of the PC onto the floor.
I pick it up and plug it into a USB 'ole on the front of the PC.

Nothing. No bing-bong, no blinkenlights.
Hmm. Try the other USB 'ole. Nothing.

Has Windows stopped seeing USB things?
No, memory stick is fine.
Re-boot just in case.
Nothing.  Hmm, looks like the camera is kaput.
I go to put it away, and as I'm pulling up the cable, I notice...

I've not been plugging the webcam in and out.
I've been plugging the end of another random USB cable that was lying on the floor near the webcam's USB cable!

I have done a similar thing.  You might not know this, and if you don't you can have this tip for nothing (no need to thank me  ) but USB headsets only work when you plug them into your laptop.  There's no point doing the whole "Hello, can you hear me?  Oh FFS, this headset is useless, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" thing if you haven't plugged it in.

Or, speaking on a call for two minutes before realising you'd started the call on mute.

That happens on every single call I'm on. Not just to me, but to everyone else. The truth, that no one can admit, is that 80% of the time people are actually updating FB/tweeting about their cat/writing an email [delete as appropriate] while they were on mute and are now forced to wing it since they obvious can't admit they weren't even listening. Yes, I gave a very thorough and considered answer but alas I was on mute so now I'll bumble like Boris.

[Feanor]

Has there *ever* been a VC session that hasn't started with 30 minutes of can-you-hear-me-can-you-see-me?
And that's the internal stuff where we're all using the same system.

Then try to VC with multiple clients in their offices, who have no admin rights on their PCs.
Cue hours of nonsense with browser plug-ins, webex / bluejeans / goto-meeting clients, and finally giving up and saying "I'll just send you a recording".

[ian]

Just the other day, I topped 40 minutes of a one hour call experiencing just that. Dithering, ditzy sales drone, confused clients. I made and ate a fruit salad while they sank into their own vortex of mutual confusion.

[CrinklyLion]

Has there *ever* been a VC session that hasn't started with 30 minutes of can-you-hear-me-can-you-see-me?

Yes.  My observed lesson whilst on my first teaching practice in Consett, about 12 years ago.  Video-conferencing with a school in Ohio, one in New York, and a nice man called Joe from NASA and it all went like clockwork even with my classroom being filled with two entire classes of Y5 children, about a dozen teachers/tutors (because EVERYONE came to observe), the head, a couple of governors and the caretaker  

Sorry, I probably used all the good video-conferencing karma for an entire generation in that one afternoon.

[CrinklyLion]

Anyway, back to being a complete dodo.

At the weekend I baked a load of cakes, most of which I few to the FNRttC but a few of which I saved.  Yesterday I want to the Rally and completely failed to take the four reserved st clements cakes with me.

[Kim]

Good thing I had a bit of room in that pannier...