Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances (Read 123869 times)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #225 on:** 07 April, 2014, 09:35:53 am »

Eating parsley: "If you lots of this, you'll become a real Iron Man."

Butterfly · « **Reply #226 on:** 07 April, 2014, 02:42:12 pm »

To the tune of 'My God is a good God' (they go to a Catholic school) - 'The tandem is a good bike...'

My charge was suitably impressed with the Circe

clarion · « **Reply #227 on:** 09 April, 2014, 09:42:33 pm »

Rapunzel:

apparently.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #228 on:** 09 April, 2014, 10:48:52 pm »

That's her hair cascading over her shoulder. It doesn't look golden, though.

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #229 on:** 13 April, 2014, 02:29:58 pm »

In a changing cubicle at the pool, I could hear a dad fussing over his daughters getting changed, and there was some sort of argument about lockers and keys. I went to put my stuff in a locker just as the two girls did, and then the dad came out and I heard the girls say "Dad! You're in your underwear!" and look utterly embarrassed as he said "so what?"

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #230 on:** 14 April, 2014, 02:01:30 pm »

In the aquarium: If I could be a fish, I'd be an electric eel so that I could shock people.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #231 on:** 16 April, 2014, 01:36:28 pm »

Unknown boy of abut 4 on a train:
Sees rubbish on the bank: "That's naughty!"

Later: "Look at those gardens."
His father: "Those are allotments, for growing vegetables."
"I'd like to grow vegetables."
"What for?"
"For eating."

Wowbagger · « **Reply #232 on:** 29 April, 2014, 12:22:56 pm »

It would appear that my grand-daughter has become interested in a property development programme called "Escape to the Country" and has already developed a "shout at the television" mode, even though she is still two months short of her fourth birthday.

Exclamations have included "Two bathrooms? Why do you need two bathrooms?" and "How big is that kitchen?"

Possible the best was "Hmm. That's not going to be easy..." and a little later on, the brilliantly rhetorical "Why do people want so many wood burning stoves? Their chimneys are so thin! How is Father Christmas going to manage?"

Such are the problems of the aspiring middle classes.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #233 on:** 29 April, 2014, 12:24:52 pm »

I don't know how he manages it, but he does. I'm pretty sure he had to send an elf down our extractor fan, he can't have got through there in person.

hellymedic · « **Reply #234 on:** 09 May, 2014, 07:48:11 pm »

Niece (aged 5½)
"I'd like a non-fiction book about the human body."

Wise choice, given that she has two younger sisters and might have tired of Peppa Pig.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #235 on:** 12 May, 2014, 06:10:37 pm »

"Nie jaffa cake'a, jaffa cake'ów."

I offer this verbatim, translation being probably superfluous.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #236 on:** 06 June, 2014, 11:16:32 pm »

A day or two ago my daughter walked into the kitchen to find her daughter (very nearly 4) with her hand in a pot of jam. There was much wailing and infantile grief even before any parental admonishment was forthcoming.

My daughter broached the subject and said she understood why her daughter was so upset because she is normally such a good girl and she had let herself down.

"That wasn't why I was so cross, mummy. I was cross because I didn't get the lid back on in time before you saw me!"

hellymedic · « **Reply #237 on:** 09 June, 2014, 07:42:05 pm »

Email from family...

When it was her turn, she marched in stating her name was T**** ***** and shes a very important doctor.
ENT specialist then had a whole conversation with her

ENT "and how old are you T**** ***** - very important doctor?"
T**** "I'm two and a half"
ENT " and what seems to b the problem?"
T**** - I have a very bad cough .... (she then coughs twice)
ENT - hmmm what should we do?
T**** - check my mouth - ahhhhhhh
ENT - all good there - what else?
T**** - my ears (she turns her head and moves hair out the way
ENT - all good , anything else?
T**** - my chest (lifts up top and breathes heavily)
at which point ENT cant stop laughing ...

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #238 on:** 11 June, 2014, 04:54:33 pm »

"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

Kim · « **Reply #239 on:** 11 June, 2014, 06:30:13 pm »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 11 June, 2014, 04:54:33 pm

"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.

sojournermike · « **Reply #240 on:** 12 June, 2014, 12:16:14 am »

Me: Who's raided my Parma ham?

N the younger: Mmmm, num num num. It was somebody else. Mmmm. Nnm nm nm.

Me: was it good?

No the younger: Mmmm, yes

pcolbeck · « **Reply #241 on:** 14 June, 2014, 12:24:53 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 11 June, 2014, 06:30:13 pm

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 11 June, 2014, 04:54:33 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.

Never trust a hippy is a John Lydon quote.

Trull · « **Reply #242 on:** 17 June, 2014, 06:11:30 am »

PedalWan on seeing a chihuahua "Look Daddy - a concentrated dog!"

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #243 on:** 17 June, 2014, 06:55:00 pm »

Following Fellaini's goal: "I'm a fan of guys with Afros!"

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #244 on:** 18 June, 2014, 01:24:35 pm »

Two Y5s discussing school uniforms:
"Our school doesn't have a uniform. Not till September, anyway."
"Why?"
"Because that's how we like it."

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #245 on:** 19 June, 2014, 02:31:35 pm »

Little Cudzo didn't think Australia should have been awarded a penalty in last night's match with Holland: "Australia are as dumb as David Cameron!" It's doubtless a neglection of my YACF parenting duties, but he didn't get this from me - not initially anyway! In fact I know exactly where he got it from, cos he's told me (friend at school who lives in Montpellier - and that's not the South of France!)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #246 on:** 01 July, 2014, 07:17:13 pm »

"Bicycle" from a little girl of about fork-crown height as I rode past.

Kim · « **Reply #247 on:** 01 July, 2014, 08:50:07 pm »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 01 July, 2014, 07:17:13 pm

a little girl of about fork-crown height

woollypigs · « **Reply #248 on:** 01 July, 2014, 10:18:23 pm »

We get many wee - just learnt to walk - things staggering into the shop going "bicycle" with their guardian running after them as they grap the first set of wheels they can lay their drul/ice cream covered fingers on. Start them you I say

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #249 on:** 02 July, 2014, 03:25:13 pm »

Quote from: pcolbeck on 14 June, 2014, 12:24:53 pm

Quote from: Kim on 11 June, 2014, 06:30:13 pm
Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 11 June, 2014, 04:54:33 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.

Never trust a hippy is a John Lydon quote.

"Never buy a boat from a hippy", OTOH, is a quote from someone who had bought a narrowboat from a hippy only to have its gearbox fail on one of the rivery bits of the Oxford canal, shortly before the Cropredy festival in 1999.