How do you make scrambled eggs?

[ian]

I have no issues with hollandaise, once you've got the knack of the slow pour into the food processor it's no problem. That said, I'm all for lazy breakfasts, so my favourite eggs benedict tends to drag me out of the house.

That said, I've never matched proper American breakfast in the UK. There's a couple of greasy spoons near here that do an acceptable full English, but I miss the proper US experience, right down to piss-weak coffee refills and little packets of grape jelly. This is the first year (in the last quarter-century or so) I've not been in the US so I'm jonesing for that.

[rafletcher]

Exactly. Poached eggs are a strong argument for keeping your own chickens.

I used to think that, but we buy our eggs from the house down the road, and not only are the shells a lot more fragile than commercial eggs, on occasions the whites are terribly watery and disperse like paint in the poaching water - to which I always add a dash of vinegar.

I used to try the swirl method in a saucepan, but recently have had more success using a frying pan filled with water, brought to a simmer, and gently lowering the eggs in from a small bowl. I do three at one that way.

[L CC]

Feeble shells are poor diet and or old hens. Watery whites are old eggs. I'd change your supplier.

[Mr Larrington]

That said, I've never matched proper American breakfast in the UK. There's a couple of greasy spoons near here that do an acceptable full English, but I miss the proper US experience, right down to piss-weak coffee refills and little packets of grape jelly. This is the first year (in the last quarter-century or so) I've not been in the US so I'm jonesing for that.

This ^^^^.  Not to mention the joy to be had when, among the ubiquitous grape jelly and strawberry jam, you actually find… marmalade.  Seven different types of toast.  An infinite variety of ways to have your eggs.

But not scones in wallpaper paste “biscuits and gravy”.  There are limits.

[citoyen]

Argh, picky picky egg shells. Another kitchen nemesis. Sometimes the older egg theory worked, but other times, it didn't.

I find if you crack the shell then drop the eggs in cold water to cool for a few minutes, the shell pretty much always comes away easily.

Also, putting your boiled eggs in cold water stops them continuing to cook in the shell and thus prevents grey, chalky yolks.

This only applies for cold boiled eggs, of course. If you're having hot boiled eggs with soldiers for breakfast, none of this is relevant.

[Jaded]

Poached eggs.

Always used to think they were made in a pan with 4 inserts.
Then found out you can make white DeathEaters by throwing eggs into a pan of boiling water.
Now we've got silicon bra cups.

I prefer the first way.

[ian]

That said, I've never matched proper American breakfast in the UK. There's a couple of greasy spoons near here that do an acceptable full English, but I miss the proper US experience, right down to piss-weak coffee refills and little packets of grape jelly. This is the first year (in the last quarter-century or so) I've not been in the US so I'm jonesing for that.

This ^^^^.  Not to mention the joy to be had when, among the ubiquitous grape jelly and strawberry jam, you actually find… marmalade.  Seven different types of toast.  An infinite variety of ways to have your eggs.

But not scones in wallpaper paste “biscuits and gravy”.  There are limits.

Biscuits and gravy are a novelty – and you have to get them in the proper South (where they should be the only non-fried item on the menu, if not, get in your car and keep driving), but I wouldn't eat them regularly. And I can't do grits, at best they're pointless, at worse they might actually be grit from the parking lot.

I remember the first time I had a US breakfast, in Buffalo with my girlfriend of the era, and she slopped maple syrup on her sausages (which, surprisingly, isn't a euphemism) and the deep, dark horror that I felt. Syrup on sausage and bacon. Oh god, no, what have I done? I've travelled 4,000 miles to be a with a girl who thinks that's normal behaviour. You could hear the cymbals of cultures clashing. Go monkey, go! Would I like my eggs over easy? I think I just froze when asked. Stare at the headlights, boy. My girlfriend explained 'he's from England' in the sort of tone that mothers reserve for their 'special' children.

Now despite generally being of a belief that savoury and sweet should be combined with the same sort of caution as percussion and explosives, this does work. Sausage* (sweet already, it's American), bacon (maple syrup-cured already, it's American), and a pancake skyscraper (the plump sweet kind, they're American). Now I always have to have pancakes with all the sides. And toast. And throw on some home fries. And eggs, three please. And cook it in front of me and keep filling up my mug, I don't mind, I can and will spend the afternoon visiting the loo. Then hand me a bit of paper at the end with cryptic hieroglyphs. This is what you ate, sir. Mostly everything.

*the sweet 'Italian' fennel sausage is another of my favourite US things that really doesn't seem to exist in the UK, I have to make my own 'version.'

[citoyen]

*the sweet 'Italian' fennel sausage is another of my favourite US things that really doesn't seem to exist in the UK, I have to make my own 'version.'

You can get actual Italian fennel sausage at poncey places like Borough Market or proper Italian delis, but I'm sure you knew that already. I imagine the American take on it that you're referring to is a rather different beast.

[ian]

*the sweet 'Italian' fennel sausage is another of my favourite US things that really doesn't seem to exist in the UK, I have to make my own 'version.'

You can get actual Italian fennel sausage at poncey places like Borough Market or proper Italian delis, but I'm sure you knew that already. I imagine the American take on it that you're referring to is a rather different beast.

It's not hugely dissimilar (Whole Food do it too) tbh. I used to get it from the Italian deli on Clerkenwell Road, back when I worked up there. In Surrey, nah, seems to be unobtainium. Never tried a side-by-side comparison.

I usually mince up chicken, fennel seeds, garlic, dried sweet pepper, white wine and breadcrumbs and make my own.

[ElyDave]

Argh, picky picky egg shells. Another kitchen nemesis. Sometimes the older egg theory worked, but other times, it didn't.

I find if you crack the shell then drop the eggs in cold water to cool for a few minutes, the shell pretty much always comes away easily.

Also, putting your boiled eggs in cold water stops them continuing to cook in the shell and thus prevents grey, chalky yolks.

This only applies for cold boiled eggs, of course. If you're having hot boiled eggs with soldiers for breakfast, none of this is relevant.

This ^^^, i generally use warm, semi-set boiled eggs for salads.  Put them on to boil, 3 minutes, empty the hot water from the pan, pour in cold, go for a shower and they're perfect when you get back.

[Jakob]

Now I always have to have pancakes with all the sides. And toast. And throw on some home fries. And eggs, three please. And cook it in front of me and keep filling up my mug, I don't mind, I can and will spend the afternoon visiting the loo. Then hand me a bit of paper at the end with cryptic hieroglyphs. This is what you ate, sir. Mostly everything.

This. It took me awhile to adapt, especially to the sausages, but it really is good. Even better when you can get real maple syrup.
My local diner has the perfect 'combo' breakfast with pancakes with whipped butter (and maple syrup), bacon, eggs, sausage + hashbrowns & toast.  Every item is simple, but well made and it'll keep me going until dinner. Keto-diet has kept me away from there, but a cheat day is planned.

[ian]

I'm jonesing for a proper syrup-oozing pancake stack topped with whipped butter with all the sides even more now. Like a giant oozing volcano of breakfast goodness. Enough sugar that your pancreas starts to confess to crimes that it didn't commit if you'll just stop and enough lard to resurface New Jersey.

Fried chicken and waffles too. People think that's wrong. But they're the ones that are wrong.

[ian]

Inadvertently if you've made a nice smoked haddock carbonara and you leave the sauce and pasta in the pan to warm through but forget that you've not turned the gas off.

[citoyen]

smoked haddock carbonara

Mmmmm! Sounds good.

Although scrambling the egg doesn't sound so good.

[ian]

I threw in a couple of tablespoons of creme fraiche and it was edible if not as nice as planned. Ah, so simple, cook pasta, mix up a thrice of eggs and a handful of grated parmesan, poach haddock in milk with a bay leaf. Save some poaching liquid, flake the haddock, add that and the sauce to the just-drained pasta, enough poaching liquid to reach the right consistency and generous dose of chopped parsley. Let stand to warm through. Or leave it on the still lit hob till your pasta is firmly entombed in a block of scrambled egg.

[citoyen]

If we're getting on to how you make carbonara that's a whole nother can of worms... Should be just an emulsion of eggs, cheese and fat*, which ought to be quite creamy enough without milk or cream being added.

And the best way to avoid scrambling the eggs is to only add them along with the cheese moments before serving - off the hob, so they cook in the residual heat of the pan.


*I would add butter if the pancetta is too lean to contribute enough fat by itself, or indeed if you're using something like smoked haddock instead of pancetta - canonically, you're supposed to use guanciale, but that's much harder to come by.

[ian]

That was the plan, the creme fraiche was a saving measure as dry scrambled egg and pasta wasn't the most appetising combination. It needed juice.

The recipe I based it on didn't suggest any additional fat, though I add butter to everything. I normally use three eggs in a carbonara, but only the yolk of the third. It was quite cheesy hence the dash of poaching liquid. It actually looked to be of a perfect consistency before the mishap.

[rafletcher]

Inadvertently if you've made a nice smoked haddock carbonara and you leave the sauce and pasta in the pan to warm through but forget that you've not turned the gas off.

I made this tonight. It got my wife’s vote of approval  . It could have been better, neither creamy nor hot enough for my taste, but I’ll do better next time.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I confess I like Jamie, he always seems like a good bloke and his enthusiasm for cooking is infectious. I dunno why some people are so down on him.

I watched the Gordon Ramsey one afterwards, he always presents like there is someone just off-screen that has a gun pointed at him and has given him 30 seconds or else. Generally, his is a bit like mine, but my hob has a pathetic burner option, so I don't have to take it off the heat so often. I don't agree with the creme fraiche though.

Because he treated his staff like shit, working them into the ground.
His restaurant started off serving overpriced but tasty food. After about a year, it started serving microwave meals. Meals pre-cooked and prepared in his own mega-food-factory, but non the less they were serving reheated food.

[ian]

Isn't that the restaurant business precis? Combined with over-expansion (and franchising) and a grim realisation that most of the people who visit chain restaurants aren't that bothered if the food comes from the usual catering supplier.

[citoyen]

I think what most people want when they visit a franchise is the comfort of knowing that the experience will be exactly the same as at any other branch in the chain, so it makes sense for the food to be prepared centrally for the sake of consistency.

[ian]

It's a thin-margin business – the majority of restaurants ultimately fail – rents are expensive, they need high levels of staffing etc. The Jamie Oliver chain wasn't the only one to fail, they've all struggled (and few of the remaining ones will survive COVID). You could cook everything diligently from scratch, but who's going to pay for it, when you can pop down the street to Zizzi or whatever and get an adequate meal for less – you can get meals in pubs for under a tenner, I'm sure they're microwaved, but it's food. I get the consistency thing, though it's a tad disappointing. That said, I've often eaten in the Cote places, which I'm sure is much the same model – if there's a group of you, you can mostly be sure everyone will be fed, and the food is perfectly acceptable. The new infestation of Ivy restaurants, I imagine is run on a similar basis.

And I don't imagine for a moment that Jamie Oliver was involved in the day-to-day management of the chain. I think I only ever ate in the one in Gatwick, which I expect was a franchise anyway (most of the 'restaurants' at airports are run by the same company, they just put different names atop the door, and it's not like they have to try too hard, they genuinely do have a captive audience).

[citoyen]

The new infestation of Ivy restaurants...

 

I suppose it makes it easier for all the Z-list celebs to guarantee getting a table - after all, there seem to be so many more of them these days, and even Z-list celebs have to eat.

[ian]

Yes, there's an Ivy in every new London development these days. I used to eat in the original, years ago* before it became a tourism magnet, it was pleasingly convivial. That said, I had dinner in the one by Tower Bridge earlier this year, and it was quite pleasant, the food was good, so perhaps I'm being unfair. But I think all these chains are working under the same financial imperatives, with funding from the usual sources of corporate capital, and end up doing much the same things to generate a return to satisfy them.

*thinks back, my god, twenty years. I'm old, it's official.

[citoyen]

I've only eaten in the original Ivy the once, and a quick bit of mental calculation tells me that was 25 years ago. Ouch.

I remember that we managed to get a table at very short notice, despite non-celeb status, which would be unimaginable these days. Christopher Biggins was holding court with a group of thesp chums at the next table.