BBC football

[Graeme]

I may be giving the game away here... I don't follow football. However, I'm visiting my folks and Dad has the football on the telly. I seem to remember football involving a pitch, some humans in shorts, and a ball. Definitely a ball.

Now football seems to be two people on a sofa watching a television somewhere behind the camera, telling the viewers what's going on. Is the gogglebox format so popular that watching people commentate on football is more interesting that watching football. (I may have answered my own question!)

[LEE]

I may be giving the game away here... I don't follow football. However, I'm visiting my folks and Dad has the football on the telly. I seem to remember football involving a pitch, some humans in shorts, and a ball. Definitely a ball.

Now football seems to be two people on a sofa watching a television somewhere behind the camera, telling the viewers what's going on. Is the gogglebox format so popular that watching people commentate on football is more interesting that watching football. (I may have answered my own question!)

It's because the BBC can't afford to show live Premiership games and any attempt to do so would result in law-suits. 
Filming someone watching the game is as much as they can afford (and I bet SKY lawyers have checked whether even that is in breach of contract).

The TV rights for 2019-2022 will cost more than £5,000,000,000.  That's more than the entire BBC license-fee revenue by about £1 Billion.

[Graeme]

What - every match in the UK sold to subscription viewers? Can't we even watch Shildon play Hemel Hempstead?

I think I knew this Lee, this is just the first time I've experienced the absurdity of football on the BBC.

[Basil]

I think the Beeb still show FA Cup matches,  although  my knowledge may be out of date there.  So you need your  local non league team to get though to the third round.

[LEE]

What - every match in the UK sold to subscription viewers? Can't we even watch Shildon play Hemel Hempstead?

I'm sure the BBC can still afford to screen Shildon vs Hemel Hempstead.
However if they ever get to the Premiership they can't.

It's actually not that absurd.  The BBC never (in my memory) showed many live football games from the top division.  My memory has always been of Match of the Day highlights.

Pay-per-view actually offers the chance to watch live games on TV, something that was rarely available >20 years ago.

My son and his friends will often pay for a one off game or a boxing match and make an evening of it.  Get 10 friends around, have some beers, split the cost so it's a couple of quid each.  It's certainly more fun, and cheaper, than going to the actual event.

I've been to Old Trafford a few times over the last 10 years and, on several occasions, spent more time trying to get out of the car-park than the game lasted.  I'm happy to watch the highlights on match of the Day, like I've done for 50 years.

[Kim]

Now football seems to be two people on a sofa watching a television somewhere behind the camera, telling the viewers what's going on.

Maybe they should adopt this approach to improve their brexit coverage...

[Graeme]

Of course I'm not even sure if Shildon can play Hemel Hempstead as they are in different leagues.

Funnily enough Gary "Crisps" Lineker has just been on the telly advertising "Match of the Day" - a highlights programme. All the goals and none of the tension. It's a bit like knowing that one of the teams will turn into a bowl of Petunias and the other into a Sperm Whale... No one gets hurt but Gary Lineker gets a small bruise on his arm.

[Jaded]

From what I can see, pay per view is not at all widespread.

Except boxing.

[Mr Larrington]

On the bright side, there'll be FTA World Cup foopball 36 hours a day in a couple of months, no doubt with Mr Lineker and his posse saying wot a shoking sho by engerlund most deplorable a lot of rabits.

[Von Broad]

On the bright side, there'll be FTA World Cup foopball 36 hours a day in a couple of months, no doubt with Mr Lineker and his posse saying wot a shoking sho by engerlund most deplorable a lot of rabits.

Asked what he thought of Scotlands chances in a particular World Cup, Tommy Docherty once remarked that 'the boys would probably be back before the postcards started arriving.'

Not sure about England in this one

One thing is for sure - I think we're almost there in accepting that fact that we're pretty much pants at International football.
It's taken a while mind.
I'll still be watching though.

[PeteB99]

Historically there was and I think still is a prohibition on broadcasting live football matches kicking off in the Saturday 1500 slot within the UK.* Before the Premier league started this was when most of the matches kicked off and hence 'highlights' programs were the only ones usually available. In the late 80s Sunday afternoon kickoff slots were introduced and these matches were broadcast on terrestrial TV (ITV I think though the BBC may have been involved as well). A lot of these matches attracted audiences in the millions so the Satellite companies bought up the rights in order to sell their otherwise moribund general channels off the back of the football and BBC and ITV were priced out of the market.

Live non Saturday pm matches are still available just not EPL ones.**

* Broadcasting to  other countries was allowed but it couldn't be shown in the UK, a few enterprising pubs that took out subscriptions to Danish or Norwegian channels to show live EPL games were sued and the loophole was shutdown.

** S4C show live Welsh cup games and there is a freeview channel called Freesports which broadcasts live Belgian and Portugese matches with an English commentary.

[Graeme]

Was that prohibition because we're a nation of shopkeepers, and it would have undermined or nation's finances? It wasn't a church thing was it!?!

[PeteB99]

Was that prohibition because we're a nation of shopkeepers, and it would have undermined or nation's finances? It wasn't a church thing was it!?!

To protect the gates at the live matches that were also taking place at 1500 Sat.

Nothing to do with shops or the churches although I think there was a little grumbling about the Sunday matches. (At the time large shops and Supermarkets were still fighting for Sunday opening)

[Mr Larrington]

Did they ever broadcast Tranmere's home matches, which traditionally kicked off at 19:30 on Fridays (hence the HMHB track "Friday Night And The Gates Are Low")?

[Jaded]

Wasn’t that because Tranmere are a classic second side and so wouldn’t have any supporters on a Saturday afternoon?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Did they ever broadcast Tranmere's home matches, which traditionally kicked off at 19:30 on Fridays (hence the HMHB track "Friday Night And The Gates Are Low")?

I was terribly disappointed to discover this was not actually an Abba spoof.
Friday night and the gates are low
Everybody's got a place to go
Where they play the right football
Get it in the net
You've never seen that yet
Anybody could score that goal
Match is young and the stands are cold
etc

[Mr Larrington]

Wasn’t that because Tranmere are a classic second side and so wouldn’t have any supporters on a Saturday afternoon?

 I believe so.  Incidentally, HMHB drummer Carl Henry is a rabid FGR fan.

[frankly frankie]

Now football seems to be two people on a sofa watching a television somewhere behind the camera, telling the viewers what's going on.

It's radio for people who don't know how to work a radio.  It's also primarily a red button service so it's teletext for people who don't know how to work teletext.

[Jaded]

Wasn’t that because Tranmere are a classic second side and so wouldn’t have any supporters on a Saturday afternoon?

 I believe so.  Incidentally, HMHB drummer Carl Henry is a rabid FGR fan.

That’s interesting!

(Although FGR don’t do rabid anymore. Ergot, maybe  )

[PeteB99]

Did they ever broadcast Tranmere's home matches, which traditionally kicked off at 19:30 on Fridays (hence the HMHB track "Friday Night And The Gates Are Low")?

No, the live TV matches were the old 1st division and later Premier league. Sadly Tranmere have never reached that status. The Friday 7.30 kickoffs were as people have said to try and avoid losing the casual supporters to whoever were playing at home on the Saturday out of Liverpool and Everton.

[Graeme]

Oh the reminiscence! The evocative sound of the football results being read out in a sing song voice. People wax lyrical about the shipping forecast, but the pools results (after an epic Sunday lunch) were genuinely soporific.

[Jaded]

Forfar Five East Fife Four

[Cudzoziemiec]

Wasn’t that because Tranmere are a classic second side and so wouldn’t have any supporters on a Saturday afternoon?

 I believe so.  Incidentally, HMHB drummer Carl Henry is a rabid FGR fan.

That’s interesting!

(Although FGR don’t do rabid anymore. Ergot, maybe  )

Campag Ergot?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Now football seems to be two people on a sofa watching a television somewhere behind the camera, telling the viewers what's going on. Is the gogglebox format so popular that watching people commentate on football is more interesting that watching football. (I may have answered my own question!)

The format sounds remarkably flexible. The commentators are not limited to talking about the match, when the game is a bit dull they can comment on the camera work: "Wonderful panning from the touch line there. And did you see that zoom!" Or the studio itself: "There's a coffee stain on the left arm of this sofa. Who was in here last? They haven't let that Grandstand mob in again have they?" Random chit-chat: "So I was in Tesco last night and who do you think I bumped into in aisle 5?" Or the general banter that forms the backbone of all masculine pastimes: beer, farts and stuff. "Got any Pringles, Gary? Only I don't like these crisps. Oh, sorry."

Over time they will develop a rapport with a dedicated core of viewers – it might be more accurate to call them video-listeners – some of whom might send in letters: "We've got a letter here from a Mrs Trellis... " Or even cake: "We're enjoying a very nice walnut cake with our coffee, thanks to Mr D.C. Baker of Telford."

It's a format that opens up the televisual opportunities of entirely new sports, such as flower arranging and origami.

[Graeme]

You, sir, are a genius.

But why stop at real activities? How about a match between two historical teams that haven't met? The format also lends itself to fictitious sports as well; Quidditch springs to mind, or Brockian Ultra-Cricket. Azad might be complex to narrate.

Match fixing might be a problem.