Author Topic: Befuddling parental utterances  (Read 8393 times)

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Befuddling parental utterances
« on: 27 April, 2013, 11:32:17 am »
Quote
I'll put you two on eBay in a minute if you don't pack it in. You're doin me eddin.

On a train going to Fenchurch Street.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #1 on: 15 May, 2013, 07:42:25 am »
Mum: Kirsten, will you hang these bird feeders in the tree in the front garden please?

Me: ok. *does so*

Mum: you've hung those too high, the birds don't like it.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #2 on: 04 July, 2014, 01:22:31 pm »
Not parental but teacherly - from the school newsletter:
Quote
We've had fun with angles and triangles in Maths - just how many triangles can be drawn in a 6 point circle?
I know what it means, probably, but since when did a circle have points?
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #3 on: 04 July, 2014, 04:53:14 pm »
Not parental but teacherly - from the school newsletter:
Quote
We've had fun with angles and triangles in Maths - just how many triangles can be drawn in a 6 point circle?
I know what it means, probably, but since when did a circle have points?

When you drew a six-petalled 'flower' inside it, using just your compasses, then joined the tips of the petals to make a hexagon.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #4 on: 26 August, 2014, 10:57:08 am »
On a plane, row behind me.
Mother: Where's your head?
Toddler: Here.
Mother: Well, that's where the people are.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #5 on: 15 February, 2017, 10:55:19 pm »
Wandering along Bishopsgate this evening...

Parents and small girl reciting bits about Christopher Robin going down with Alice.

"Who was Alice?" asks small girl.

"She looked after Winnie-ther-Pooh."

Like fuck she did.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #6 on: 15 February, 2017, 11:42:49 pm »
Well, who the fuck *is* Alice?

(click to show/hide)

rr

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #7 on: 16 February, 2017, 12:18:25 am »
Or a reference to a bawdy song, popular at bar nights when I was pso

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #8 on: 02 March, 2017, 02:37:34 pm »
Heard in various supermarkets throughout my youth:
"Oi <insert childs name here>! Come year for a slap!"
I always thought that was an unlikely incentive!

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #9 on: 02 March, 2017, 09:45:48 pm »
Booking a trip to Ireland for my mum:

YT "How long do you want to go for?"

Ma "7 days at the most, but it's not worth going for less than a week".
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #10 on: 02 March, 2017, 10:52:37 pm »
Friends mum, scolding dog who'd been somewhat naughty

" you're an animal!"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #11 on: 30 April, 2022, 11:46:24 am »
Assistant in a shop I regularly go in: You don't bring your son in here anymore. Has he just reached the age where he no longer wants to go shopping with dad?
Me: Yes. He's 17, almost 18 in fact.
Shoppie: Is it weird having an 18-year old son?
Me: No. I mean, it's not like I just woke up one morning and he was suddenly 18.
Shoppie: No, I suppose you've had 18 years to get used to it.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #12 on: 30 April, 2022, 11:55:48 am »
You never get used to it.  My daughter has been 18 for 13 years, now, and I'm still not used to it!

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #13 on: 30 April, 2022, 11:29:40 pm »
How old was she when she started being 18?
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #14 on: 01 May, 2022, 11:36:22 am »
Nice one, Wow - but in truth, it's impossible to say!

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #15 on: 01 May, 2022, 11:59:07 am »
"Bike, I'll give you bike!"  (Apologies to Billy Connolly).
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #16 on: 03 May, 2022, 10:47:27 pm »
How old was she when she started being 18?

My Mum congratulated granddaughter on turning 13 and officially becoming a teenager.

'How long have yo been a teenager?'
'Since birth!'