How Not To Lock Up Your Bike

[Sergeant Pluck]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48035577
  -10 points to the hostel.

Total bastards.*

*Assuming it is physically possible to get a bike in. If not, moderate bastards for not letting him know.

[T42]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48035577
  -10 points to the hostel.

Total bastards.*

*Assuming it is physically possible to get a bike in. If not, moderate bastards for not letting him know.

The more I think about it, if somebody's stealing a bike then they're probably not in a good place in their life

I sincerely hope so.

[De Sisti]

The more I think about it, if somebody's stealing a bike then they're probably not in a good place in their life

I watched a video earlier today on the Cycling Weekly website of a group of four blokes, dressed
in black clothing with their faces covered, break into a bike store and steal multiple mountain bikes.
I presume not in a good place in their lives too.

[quixoticgeek]

Sometimes you see a bike parked so badly you just stop, and look on in awe:

Amsterdam, you've excelled yourself;



J

[Cudzoziemiec]

Is that bad parking, art installation or student prank?

[quixoticgeek]

Is that bad parking, art installation or student prank?

I honestly can't work out the answer to that one...

J

[Ham]

I seem to remember having a regular ride with a group in London and having a maximum-bike-locked-to-a-single-lampost regular event that used to look like that. Wooly, were you there, too? What was it? Post critical mass? Summat else? The one thing I do remember is that the lamposts were all outside pubs, quel suprise.

[LittleWheelsandBig]

Back in the early days of MTBing, there was 'bike derby' which finished with piling all the bikes in a heap before adjourning for beer and other activities. I'd guess something similar is happening here.

[Jurek]

I believe LFGSS have form for parking bike-tree fashion.

[grams]

It's a necessity if you finish a ride at a pub and there's only one lamp post to lock to.

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bikepile/

[Andrij]

I seem to remember having a regular ride with a group in London and having a maximum-bike-locked-to-a-single-lampost regular event that used to look like that. Wooly, were you there, too? What was it? Post critical mass? Summat else? The one thing I do remember is that the lamposts were all outside pubs, quel suprise.

Friday Night Ride?  (no coasts involved).  I did a few of these, probably when I first met Wooly.

[Ham]

Could well have been, yes.

[Kim]

Today's edition of Badly Locked Bikes Of Birmingham:


Not entirely clear in the photo, but that's a full-sized D-lock.

[CommuteTooFar]

I once carefully locked my bike to a lamp post and went for lunch.  When I came back I could not find my keys until I found them in the lock.

[Nightmare-1]

I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

I went over to them and Asked if they needed any Help with that.
After getting bad mouthed I "cracked" both of them on the ankles with the New "Pedal spanner" I'd just bought then calmly unlocked the trike and rode off!

I did call an ambulance before I left (saying that two lads appear to be injured outside Halfords shop in E###n).

Interestingly a few days later I was Stopped & asked by the local police if I knew anything about the assault that had happened!

Evidently two locals had been hospitalised with broken ankles after trying to steal a bike (their own admission) when the owner attacked them with an iron bar!

Oh, say's I "They got off lightly then 'cause if it had been my "Trike" they had tried to steal I'd have broken their hands as well".

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then.
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).

[Jurek]

I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

I went over to them and Asked if they needed any Help with that.
After getting bad mouthed I "cracked" both of them on the ankles with the New "Pedal spanner" I'd just bought then calmly unlocked the trike and rode off!

I did call an ambulance before I left (saying that two lads appear to be injured outside Halfords shop in E###n).

Interestingly a few days later I was Stopped & asked by the local police if I knew anything about the assault that had happened!

Evidently two locals had been hospitalised with broken ankles after trying to steal a bike (their own admission) when the owner attacked them with an iron bar!

Oh, say's I "They got off lightly then 'cause if it had been my "Trike" they had tried to steal I'd have broken their hands as well".

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then.
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).

And this is good. Yes?

[LittleWheelsandBig]

I don’t like thieves.

[quixoticgeek]

I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then.
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).

Only you have now confessed to a potential offense on a public internet forum. Whilst you could probably claim self defense, your ability to claim that you used reasonable force to do so would hinge on what you consider it reasonable to pay a lawyer to defend you...

What is more, no doubt a trike is a distinctive vehicle, even here where pedal vehicles out number humans, non bakfiets trikes are a rare beast. Thus you leave yourself open to retribution as you're an easy to identify target.

Whilst I appreciate the story and do approve of your approach to education of bike thieves, one might suggest your opsec could use some work.

J

[quixoticgeek]

Just noticed a neighbour had locked their bike up, putting the chain through the rear wheel, and looped over the saddle, but not the frame. It's a very stealable bike in a public location. You could take the rear wheel off and have a very nice bike for the cost of a new rear wheel.

So I knocked on the door to tell her. Her English isn't so good (it's her 3rd or 4th language), so it was a struggle. Made worse by the fact it's 2230, I'm wearing a mask, and standing in the dark corridor. I hope she goes to fix the lock, it would be a shame to lose the bike.

J

PS I'll post a photo once I know it's been relocked.

[Joe.B]

IMG_20200420_112029870 by Joe B, on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.

[De Sisti]

IMG_20200420_112029870 by Joe B, on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.

Probably forgot their lock and had to make-do/improvise?

[eckagain]

https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/hiplok-z-lok-cable-tie-lock-twin-pack/rp-prod164159
One of these perhaps?

[Kim]

IMG_20200420_112029870 by Joe B, on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.

That looks like someone's checking for abandoned bikes, rather than a security measure.

[JonBuoy]

That looks suspiciously like a snipped tie-wrap on the floor.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Definitely one, black, and possibly another, white, by the leaf just to the left of the back wheel.