Post by: ian on 23 April, 2015, 10:39:32 am
Anyway.
Burgers. Londontown is full of 'upmarket' burger joints now. Every-bloody*-where. Byrons sprout like toadstools overnight, and if it's not a Byrons, it's something similar. Gourmet this. Meat that. There will come a point when entire streets are just a sweaty crush of Nandos and Byrons. The final reckoning will be Cow vs. Chicken. Some kind of cross-species meaty West Side Story. When all the buildings are full, they appear in vans, a wagon train from Hackney. Someone offered me a burger with kimchee yesterday. Fuck it, Hackney gets further east every day, it's like its on its own tectonic plate.
Since I got off the vegetarian bus at meaty central, I confess I've sampled a few burgers. I like burgers. It's meat in a sandwich. A simple pleasure. One I'd forgone for several years. I'll be honest, I don't want creativity. A good burger requires a good slab of fresh meat, optional cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato. That's it. No kimchee, no single herd origin ripened alpaca cheese, no alfalfa sprouts. Just stop. And for some reason, in 2015, queuing is a desirable thing. For a meat sandwich.
The thing is: these burgers are a bit dull. They're overcooked, overpriced, overdecorated. I've just paid £8 for a sandwich. Oh look, they've served my wine in a jam jar. Erm. And why do I even have wine with a burger. This is not France (ironically, the best burger I ever had, and as a former resident of the American colonies I've had many burgers, was in France – some unaspiring place near Annecy – as far as I could tell they'd forgone the grill and just left it out in the sun for several minutes, and the waiter didn't have to give me the cow's biography).
This came to mind when I had, for the first time in like forever, a McD's the other day. If you're waiting for a plane at Lisbon airport, don't expect gastronomy. I wasn't expecting much, but I actually enjoyed. Admittedly, they'd added extra nostalgia sauce to my Big Mac.
Gourmetification is what I call it. Simple foods get extravagantly dressed up. Gastropubs do it all the time.
You can't order a full English breakfast without getting some kind of ethnically diverse sausage, a meaty immigrant to rouse your inner Farage.
*Not bloody though, they're generally most insistent on it being medium, which translated to British cooking, means it may as well have sat in the blast radius of a nuclear explosion.
Post by: Basil on 23 April, 2015, 01:56:11 pm
Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
*Has a vague memory*
Ah yes, but it was a Food Grumble rather than a rant thread, so I suppose that's different.
https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=87869.msg1804600#msg1804600
Post by: menthel on 23 April, 2015, 02:09:34 pm
Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
Anyway.
Burgers. Londontown is full of 'upmarket' burger joints now. Every-bloody*-where. Byrons sprout like toadstools overnight, and if it's not a Byrons, it's something similar. Gourmet this. Meat that. There will come a point when entire streets are just a sweaty crush of Nandos and Byrons. The final reckoning will be Cow vs. Chicken. Some kind of cross-species meaty West Side Story. When all the buildings are full, they appear in vans, a wagon train from Hackney. Someone offered me a burger with kimchee yesterday. Fuck it, Hackney gets further east every day, it's like its on its own tectonic plate.
Since I got off the vegetarian bus at meaty central, I confess I've sampled a few burgers. I like burgers. It's meat in a sandwich. A simple pleasure. One I'd forgone for several years. I'll be honest, I don't want creativity. A good burger requires a good slab of fresh meat, optional cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato. That's it. No kimchee, no single herd origin ripened alpaca cheese, no alfalfa sprouts. Just stop. And for some reason, in 2015, queuing is a desirable thing. For a meat sandwich.
The thing is: these burgers are a bit dull. They're overcooked, overpriced, overdecorated. I've just paid £8 for a sandwich. Oh look, they've served my wine in a jam jar. Erm. And why do I even have wine with a burger. This is not France (ironically, the best burger I ever had, and as a former resident of the American colonies I've had many burgers, was in France – some unaspiring place near Annecy – as far as I could tell they'd forgone the grill and just left it out in the sun for several minutes, and the waiter didn't have to give me the cow's biography).
This came to mind when I had, for the first time in like forever, a McD's the other day. If you're waiting for a plane at Lisbon airport, don't expect gastronomy. I wasn't expecting much, but I actually enjoyed. Admittedly, they'd added extra nostalgia sauce to my Big Mac.
Gourmetification is what I call it. Simple foods get extravagantly dressed up. Gastropubs do it all the time.
You can't order a full English breakfast without getting some kind of ethnically diverse sausage, a meaty immigrant to rouse your inner Farage.
*Not bloody though, they're generally most insistent on it being medium, which translated to British cooking, means it may as well have sat in the blast radius of a nuclear explosion.
The fuckers probably used the word artisanal as well. The only thing I see when I see that word used are the last four letters. Fuckers.
Post by: hellymedic on 23 April, 2015, 03:08:13 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 April, 2015, 03:43:21 pm
Kerrygold it is, then.
Post by: ian on 23 April, 2015, 04:11:40 pm
And the fact that most of these new wave burgers are just chains. If you want indifferently cooked meat patties, you can get them for less than £8 and without queuing in the rain (you don't even have to get out of your car). I mean, seriously, Five Guys. People queue for Five Guys burgers? They serve greasy-wrapped disappointment in a bun. Even US calorie mountains don't eat them and those are the sort of people who'd eat a trash can if you melted cheese on it. MEATliquor (it has be written that way, just to prickle my sanity), marginally better burger if you like Exxon Valdez levels of grease ejaculated down your front, but a queue that stretches and includes people taking selfies. In a queue for a sandwich. Are you fucking mental? OK, that's not really a question.
Truly great burgers are circumstantial. For instance, right-minded people are circumspect about declaring their love for White Castle. Come 3am and you're lost in West Virginia, and you see those bright lights and the promise of a dozen dinky little burgers. Come the tidal wave of salivation. Give me a megaphone because I've just written a meaty love song. OK, I'm not convinced White Castle burgers actually contain meat. And as for that French burger, in the rarified air of the alps, it was gloriously underdone, yet like biting into a buttery meat cloud. Effortless.
I forgot pickles earlier. Good burgers require pickles. Cheese, not so much. Bacon definitely not.
Post by: pcolbeck on 23 April, 2015, 04:26:19 pm
Post by: Basil on 23 April, 2015, 04:32:51 pm
I forgot pickles earlier. Good burgers require pickles. Cheese, not so much. Bacon definitely not.
And a cold, fat, flacid, stupidly large mushroom, absolutely not.
I like mushrooms, but I've never enjoyed a mushroom in a burger. Or ones that come unbidden with a steak. Nasty things
Post by: ian on 23 April, 2015, 04:45:43 pm
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
Yes, those spherical burgers. Defeats the point since you can't cook them properly. To warm up the middle, the outer layers must be cooked into a chewy, dry desert. And this being Britain, where the thought of rare meat alone will probably kill, to turn the middle of the meat planet grey, they must cook them for hours. So basically, it's a giant meaty cricket ball in a bun. Which people will swoon over as they chew and chew and chew and basically give themselves a facial workout. A couple of those and you have the kind of jaw muscles that can chew their way into a bank vault.
Mushrooms in a burger. Eek!
Eating burgers with a knife and fork. Only passable in Wimpy.
Post by: Basil on 23 April, 2015, 04:56:25 pm
Post by: ian on 23 April, 2015, 08:28:00 pm
There's still a Wimpy in Carmarthen. It's exactly how you remember Wimpys to be. :)
I moved to this town because it had a Wimpy. Then two weeks later it closed. OK, Wimpy wasn't the only reason, and no, I don't think I've been in one since about 1988. But I liked the comforting thought of having my formative dining experience nearby. They missed a trick by not serving drinks in pretend jam jars and forcing people to queue outside.
In other news.
Mushrooms. Or alien space fruit.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 23 April, 2015, 08:59:55 pm
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
Amen. You shouldn't need to cut up a burger with cutlery!
We have a local joint called the boozy cow. I hate the "here's a burger on a bit of greaseproof paper on a tray" thing (what's wrong with a plate FFS?), but the burger itself was beautifully rare. Mooo.
Post by: L CC on 23 April, 2015, 11:07:32 pm
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
Post by: rr on 23 April, 2015, 11:14:21 pm
Hain Celestial Group trading as Linda McCartney, your vegiburgers are just like beef burgers, 80s, pre-BSE, made from Jet washed sludge and floor sweepings and sold from a clapped out van 80s burgers, the ones so rank that even John Gummer wouldn't feed them to his kids.
If you are going to sell imitation meat, imitate decent meat.
Post by: ian on 23 April, 2015, 11:43:21 pm
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
Well, back in the artisanal times, this was how food was served. Fries came in little metal pails (with or without a sheet of Izal), like they'd been milked out of the fry cow by busy, little fry-maids. Chefs, caught waiting for the plate to be invented (an awkward time for gastro-kitchens, for sure), had to hurl food out on chopping board itself. Seasoned by desperation were those dreadful days.
I swear I got a pie on a slate the other week. Not quite a slate, more some old bit of blackboard from the 1970s, probably made out of asbestos and cancer. A pie on a pretend slate, like at some point in the distant past that's how we served food. With a little nervous broccoli forest, edging off towards the table, knowing that no rim stood in its way. Driven by the thought that it could be in Stoke Newington by teatime. Cry freedom my little brassicas. And worse, this little pie cost £16. It's just a pie. What can you put in a pie that costs £16? You could gold-plate a chicken for less. It was like they'd introduced a suicidal chicken with anorexia to a few cubes of surly pancetta (I'm letting that pass, bacon bacon bacon). Admittedly, I was probably being surcharged for the three pieces of Houdini broccoli. The pie was more air than a hot air balloon. I mean, it didn't taste bad as pies go, but it was still a pie. It wasn't an Heston Blumenthal pie made out or heliumated foie gras and unicorn frisson.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 April, 2015, 11:47:32 pm
surly pancettaDon't give them ideas, they've got enough silly names as it is.
Post by: menthel on 24 April, 2015, 09:42:42 am
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
Agreed- we often make our own burgers at home and the do not get made 3 feet thick. They are thin and then squashed even further when cooking. Thin patties are good patties.
I blame that daft american woman and her song about fat women.
Post by: lahoski on 24 April, 2015, 09:55:17 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 April, 2015, 01:46:35 pm
Kimchee in a burger is really nice.
So is BACON
Post by: Gattopardo on 24 April, 2015, 03:56:40 pm
Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
Anyway.
Burgers. Londontown is full of 'upmarket' burger joints now. Every-bloody*-where. Byrons sprout like toadstools overnight, and if it's not a Byrons, it's something similar. Gourmet this. Meat that. There will come a point when entire streets are just a sweaty crush of Nandos and Byrons. The final reckoning will be Cow vs. Chicken. Some kind of cross-species meaty West Side Story. When all the buildings are full, they appear in vans, a wagon train from Hackney. Someone offered me a burger with kimchee yesterday. Fuck it, Hackney gets further east every day, it's like its on its own tectonic plate.
Since I got off the vegetarian bus at meaty central, I confess I've sampled a few burgers. I like burgers. It's meat in a sandwich. A simple pleasure. One I'd forgone for several years. I'll be honest, I don't want creativity. A good burger requires a good slab of fresh meat, optional cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato. That's it. No kimchee, no single herd origin ripened alpaca cheese, no alfalfa sprouts. Just stop. And for some reason, in 2015, queuing is a desirable thing. For a meat sandwich.
The thing is: these burgers are a bit dull. They're overcooked, overpriced, overdecorated. I've just paid £8 for a sandwich. Oh look, they've served my wine in a jam jar. Erm. And why do I even have wine with a burger. This is not France (ironically, the best burger I ever had, and as a former resident of the American colonies I've had many burgers, was in France – some unaspiring place near Annecy – as far as I could tell they'd forgone the grill and just left it out in the sun for several minutes, and the waiter didn't have to give me the cow's biography).
This came to mind when I had, for the first time in like forever, a McD's the other day. If you're waiting for a plane at Lisbon airport, don't expect gastronomy. I wasn't expecting much, but I actually enjoyed. Admittedly, they'd added extra nostalgia sauce to my Big Mac.
Gourmetification is what I call it. Simple foods get extravagantly dressed up. Gastropubs do it all the time.
You can't order a full English breakfast without getting some kind of ethnically diverse sausage, a meaty immigrant to rouse your inner Farage.
*Not bloody though, they're generally most insistent on it being medium, which translated to British cooking, means it may as well have sat in the blast radius of a nuclear explosion.
The fuckers probably used the word artisanal as well. The only thing I see when I see that word used are the last four letters. Fuckers.
That fuck there is some one else that feels the same.
I feel your pain comrade.
Post by: woollypigs on 24 April, 2015, 05:25:53 pm
The best one I have had is right off the bbq into a bun with a bit of pepper and tomato sauce. Maybe some onion and salad.
I have given up getting a burger in a Gastro pub, big round ball filled with random bits of grass, three chips and some random sauce that is either drawn onto the plate or in a very small pot that you can fit the chips into, that you have got all IKEA on.
Post by: Otto on 24 April, 2015, 05:46:37 pm
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
Post by: Otto on 24 April, 2015, 05:48:33 pm
Ian I agree, a good burger is just a good bit of meat in a bun that you can fit - and do not have to build before it is not Lego - into your mouth.
The best one I have had is right off the bbq into a bun with a bit of pepper and tomato sauce. Maybe some onion and salad.
I have given up getting a burger in a Gastro pub, big round ball filled with random bits of grass, three chips and some random sauce that is either drawn onto the plate or in a very small pot that you can fit the chips into, that you have got all IKEA on.
What hacks me off is when the burger comes on a wooden board or a slate with a cocktail stick holding it together and the chips arrive in a minature galvanized bucket or a plant pot... what's wrong with a plate ffs
Post by: Ruthie on 24 April, 2015, 05:51:03 pm
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
Yeo Valley butter is lovely, and a proper yellow colour, not like that white forrin stuff.
Post by: CrinklyLion on 24 April, 2015, 06:45:43 pm
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
https://twitter.com/wewantplates
Post by: perpetual dan on 24 April, 2015, 06:57:49 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDTxlQ2W0AEZTh3.jpg)
:o
Post by: menthel on 24 April, 2015, 07:08:11 pm
I found we want plates earlier! This ought to appeal to ian...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDTxlQ2W0AEZTh3.jpg)
:o
That can fuck right off! For a start, how are you supposed to eat it? Its also on bloody scales- its taking versus man vs food too far! If I want to die eating burgers I will just order lots of them.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 April, 2015, 09:52:33 pm
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
But you have to pass it on the left-hand side, which is a problem if you live alone.
(Says "Biddly-Biddly-Biddly-Biddly Bong!" Is carted off to funny farm)
Post by: Andrij on 25 April, 2015, 07:41:36 am
I found we want plates earlier! This ought to appeal to ian...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDTxlQ2W0AEZTh3.jpg)
:o
The mug-o-chips is for throwing at staff to knock them unconscious. One then uses the scales to measure out a pound of flesh from each of them in retribution.
Post by: Tigerrr on 25 April, 2015, 08:26:11 am
Ian, have you tried coffee lately? Perhaps some reviews of (ideally 'artisan') coffee shops is needed. Or artisan bakers.
Seems to me the decline of the working class artisan has heralded the arrival of the mockney ex public school artisan food retailer, with all that 'passion' enabling pop up pricing for the iPad wearers.
I am thinking of a chain of artisan porridge pop up stores, operating from reclaimed Mr Whippy vans, sited by London tube stations in the morning. each van with its own mill, grinding and pressing single varietal oats from named rustic farms, in hessian sacks. Served in brown cardboard boxes like the olden days, eaten with a wooden spoon. Could be a winner.
Post by: ian on 25 April, 2015, 12:57:38 pm
My wife got jenga chips last night. Ten carefully balanced chips. Unfortunately, the waitress knocked them over at the table and the whole thing had to go back to back kitchen for reassembly. As it was Denmark they probably didn't beat the poor girl, though I'm sure the chef/architect had strong words. I've found structural food assemblies quite common in Scandinavia, I think it's the entire Ikea thing. It did apparently come on a plate, though for some reason her veg got its own little dish to prevent food group miscegenation. That's a common theme, like macaroni cheese in those little enamel bathtubs, and the growing need for restaurants to serve breakfast in a dinky little frying pan with a pair of egg-tits wobbling on top.
Yesterday's lunch of disappointment was skewered and grilled ennui on a deathbed of buckwheat kasha. I should know better. It was like shoveling soil from my own grave into my mouth. There was an arterial splash of vibrant red sauce on the side that promised to taste of something but tasted like precisely titrated nothing. It was all served on a plate at least.
Coffee, don't get me going, I was dragged to a coffee shop the other day, run by New Zealanders and populated with MacBooks and their owners. Perhaps our Kiwi friends are wired directly into the caffeinated zeitgeist and thus uniquely qualified to sell coffee and afghan biscuits, all I know is that my gritty americano cost about the same as a return ticket to Auckland and tasted marginally worse than the free coffee from the machines aboard the mothership.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 April, 2015, 01:06:47 pm
Post by: woollypigs on 25 April, 2015, 01:20:52 pm
Post by: Jurek on 25 April, 2015, 01:22:28 pm
Post by: Tigerrr on 26 April, 2015, 08:04:27 am
Post by: madcow on 26 April, 2015, 08:36:01 am
Top rant from Ian, catching the mood of the middle aged male diner perfectly.
Ian, have you tried coffee lately? Perhaps some reviews of (ideally 'artisan') coffee shops is needed. Or artisan bakers.
Seems to me the decline of the working class artisan has heralded the arrival of the mockney ex public school artisan food retailer, with all that 'passion' enabling pop up pricing for the iPad wearers.
I am thinking of a chain of artisan porridge pop up stores, operating from reclaimed Mr Whippy vans, sited by London tube stations in the morning. each van with its own mill, grinding and pressing single varietal oats from named rustic farms, in hessian sacks. Served in brown cardboard boxes like the olden days, eaten with a wooden spoon. Could be a winner.
Too late , except it's not in that there London http://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/stoats-porridge-bar-van-edinburgh (http://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/stoats-porridge-bar-van-edinburgh)
Post by: Tigerrr on 26 April, 2015, 10:06:49 am
Metropolitan artisan porridge would be about named source oat varietals, the roast, grain specs, and bran quotient. Plus honey maybe. Definitely not the scottish thing, although I can see that going well at football matches.
Post by: ian on 26 April, 2015, 12:27:28 pm
I've no idea if they serve porridge. I'm sure they wouldn't want oat clag in those recently coiffured beards. I did have breakfast near Spitalfields the other week and that was an obligatory pan and egg-tits affair.
As for restaurant criticism, I can be rude to anyone. Like in most things, I'm a Philistine (not a bad thing in a critic, perhaps, given their historical tendency for gouging). I've lost track of the number of times over the years when I'd happily swap my expensive plate of whatever for a crisp sandwich. I'd make sandwiches with pies and cocktails with Tizer. My mother's best recipe was burnt fish fingers which I had to trawl from a small ocean of perilously lumpy parsley sauce. To this day, given the opportunity, I'll build a parsley sauce volcano out of mashed potato and provide a voiceover for what I call The Grim Plight of the Five Fish Fingers. It doesn't end well for them.
Post by: hellymedic on 26 April, 2015, 12:58:45 pm
Post by: Torslanda on 26 April, 2015, 01:39:00 pm
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
Yeo Valley butter is lovely, and a proper yellow colour, not like that white forrin stuff.
In defence of 'that white forrin' stuff we are converts to President butter (which is yellow BTW) and we discovered this in France thanks to our cosmopolitan jet-setting* lifestyle...
*If you can describe holidaying in a Peugeot van as 'jet-setting'.
Post by: hellymedic on 26 April, 2015, 01:44:28 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 April, 2015, 02:24:55 pm
Post by: tiermat on 26 April, 2015, 03:24:52 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 April, 2015, 03:46:16 pm
I reckon Ian is really A. A. Gill.
If he is then Miss von Brandenburg will be round to stab him in the throat with a rusty fork shortly.
Post by: Torslanda on 26 April, 2015, 06:00:24 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 April, 2015, 06:33:53 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 26 April, 2015, 10:47:27 pm
Fuck off. Good solid food, piled on the plate, the elements of the meal having the temerity to actullay touch each other and served with a gravy or sauce which is poured on the meat, not artistically swirled around the edge of the plate. As for putting a jus or coulis or whatever the fuck they are called on food- no! Sauce or gravy.
(I still like Masterchef though).
Post by: ian on 27 April, 2015, 10:05:01 am
I have a fear of gravy, dating to the monstrous stuff that was served by my parents. It had the texture of lumpy wallpaper paste, a kind of unctuous sludge that would gum up your mouth and make everything for the next two days taste of Bisto. With cornflakes, you name it. It’d ooze over the plate like a mudslide. It wasn't helped by my father’s fervour for hot food, merely serving food from the stove wasn’t enough, the plate not only had to be warmed to a cherry red glow beforehand, the entire sizzling mess then had to go back into the oven to be warmed for another twenty minutes. The result, by the time it arrived at the table, sizzling and popping like a volcanic mud pool. I've never actually tasted a volcanic mud pool but I doubt I'd be surprised.
I confess a secret hankering for Count Chocula. Admittedly, it would be healthier and marginally less addictive to just give your kids a couple of rocks of crack.
*not as outlandish as it may seem, a couple of years ago at a conference in Florida, I was surveying the distributed buffet options (it was an outside do, arrayed around the patio and pool) and I discovered an entire table of differently flavoured mashed potato. Cheese and chive, tomato and chilli, bacon, you name it, I swear about a dozen kinds of cheerfully confected potato. I was in stodge heaven. I swear by the end of the evening every Brit and Irish person in southern Florida had been drawn to that table, while the Americans looked on in horror.
Post by: lahoski on 27 April, 2015, 10:20:55 am
Cheese and chive, tomato and chilli, bacon, you name it, I swear about a dozen kinds of cheerfully confected potato. I was in stodge heaven.No kimchi though?
Post by: menthel on 27 April, 2015, 11:01:10 am
Post by: ian on 27 April, 2015, 12:05:17 pm
The problem with unctuous is that restaurants have started to use it like it's a good thing. Broths have become unctuous, sauces have become unctuous. The people crave unctuousness. This one doesn't. It's just poshese for greasy. It seems to be essential to refer to ramen broths are unctuous milky white, porcine. Lardy, in other words. It probably works better in Chinese (nǎitāng) which according to Google is literally translated as 'breast soup'. Go on, eat it, it's good for you. It's the kind of thing my Chinese colleagues thrust in front of me when I visit. A game, which roughly translated from Mandarin means 'western devil food torture'.
Kimchi mash? Alas no, there was cabbage and bacon. Actually, this was the US, so probably every variety included bacon, it is, after all, the universal American seasoning. It was quite bizarre though, there we were on a balmy Florida evening, mojito in hand, facing a table laden with mashed potatoes, a veritable meaty thighed chorus line of stodge.
Post by: menthel on 27 April, 2015, 12:11:04 pm
Unctuous is a great word, marvellously onomatopoeic, it rolls over your tongue like a wave of glistening fat. Trust me, it's the perfect word for my father's attempts at gravy (it is all he cooks, apparently gravy is also a man thing; woman may concoct a gentle jus, but it takes a real man to conduct the alchemy of grease, burnt bits and excessive quantities of bisto into a glistening, potentially seabird-killing pool of molten gravy). I should also make clear that it was served in industrial quantities. It's a terrible thing to see your own roast potatoes drown.
The problem with unctuous is that restaurants have started to use it like it's a good thing. Broths have become unctuous, sauces have become unctuous. The people crave unctuousness. This one doesn't. It's just poshese for greasy. It seems to be essential to refer to raman broths are unctuous milky white, porcine. Lardy, in other words. It probably works better in Chinese (nǎitāng) which according to Google is literally translated as 'breast soup'. Go on, eat it, it's good for you. It's the kind of thing my Chinese colleagues thrust in front of me when I visit. A game, which roughly translated from Mandarin means 'western devil food torture'.
Kimchi mash? Alas no, there was cabbage and bacon. Actually, this was the US, so probably every variety included bacon, it is, after all, the universal American seasoning. It was quite bizarre though, there we were on a balmy Florida evening, mojito in hand, facing a table mashed potatoes, a veritable meaty thighed chorus line of stodge.
You just made me throw up on my own lap and punch a passing innocent kitten. It's all your fault.
Post by: rafletcher on 27 April, 2015, 12:31:44 pm
Gravy.
Such an innocent word for the various atrocities carried out in it's name.
I don't really remember much gravy - except for one..
Middlesborough. A somewhat down-at-heel 3* "hotel". I ordered a pork salad. It came. Cold pork, as one would expect. Saladings, various. Oh, and "gravy" on the pork.
It was brown. It was tepid. It was approximately 3mm thick, and could, quite literally, be cut with a knife. It didn't flow to fill the void. It didn't move at all. :sick:
Post by: PeteB99 on 27 April, 2015, 12:38:50 pm
Garlic allergy rant (http://www.chefreinvented.com/2009/04/warning-rant-just-ahead.html)
Post by: ian on 27 April, 2015, 07:07:38 pm
Post by: ian on 28 April, 2015, 09:37:02 am
(OK, I like Velveeta. It's the same magic yellow stuff as cheese slices which are one of my favourite things – if you want to make a meal special, try adding a cheese slice to your ready salted crisp sandwich.)
Edit: I forgot – they have a section dedicated to 'bone broth' (potentially unctuous) which is, according to the subheading's allusion to that marvellously authentic paleolithic diet, 'the caveman's coffee'. No it fucking isn't.
Post by: fuzzy on 28 April, 2015, 11:23:47 pm
Gravy is like any other food stuff in that it can be either a damn good part of a meal or a complete and utter fucking failure, depending on the cook.
Thick, stodgey gravy that looks like it has escaped from the back of the roads maintenance truck doin a bit of tar and dressing ruination of a road is tuly reprehensible.
On the other hand, a gravy prepared lovingly, with just the right amount of substance to flow without being watery, the perfect amount of seasoning to give it a bit of bite and a skilled use of the meat juices is a joyous addition to a plate.
Post by: Jaded on 28 April, 2015, 11:47:21 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 April, 2015, 12:31:16 pm
Post by: menthel on 29 April, 2015, 12:47:01 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 April, 2015, 12:53:05 pm
Post by: spesh on 29 April, 2015, 12:56:25 pm
Satsumas which look nice from the outside but once you've peeled and pithed them, are all withery and leathery and watery and shrivelled. They can fuck right off too.
+1
Post by: menthel on 29 April, 2015, 04:20:39 pm
Satsumas which look nice from the outside but once you've peeled and pithed them, are all withery and leathery and watery and shrivelled. They can fuck right off too.
As can those apples that look nice from the outside but turn out to be all brown in the middle. Wanker apples.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 April, 2015, 05:59:26 pm
Post by: Poly Hive on 29 April, 2015, 08:07:06 pm
At a VERY small town diner in Tootsville which is the far end of the subway on Staten Island we ordered cold beer and a burger. The beer was so cold it had frost on the mug and the burger...
Was thick, on half a bun and had the gerkin on the side of the plate and the gerkin alone needed cutting to fit my mouth let alone the burger.
So... "it ain't necessarily so" that it works like a sandwich.
PH
Post by: madcow on 30 April, 2015, 12:53:14 am
Plums where the stone hasn't formed properly. They can fuck right off.
Any Spanish plums -hard as rock. No thank you.
Only British plums please , only in season and mostly under crumble or pastry.
Having had a gutfull of stewed pears in my teenage years, (we had an effing big pear tree in the garden) they can GTF as well.
Post by: Tigerrr on 30 April, 2015, 07:40:24 am
Not content with Anglo pronounciation they extend the 'errs' ending so they can roll it round the mouth and gargle on it.
It does mean greasy.
Post by: Jaded on 30 April, 2015, 09:12:12 am
Post by: menthel on 30 April, 2015, 09:17:39 am
Plums where the stone hasn't formed properly. They can fuck right off.
Any Spanish plums -hard as rock. No thank you.
Only British plums please , only in season and mostly under crumble or pastry.
Having had a gutfull of stewed pears in my teenage years, (we had an effing big pear tree in the garden) they can GTF as well.
I would agree but my recent need for fruit and the fact that most apples are now secretly brown in the middle and that the orange season has gone and left us with the dross meant I needed a change.
British plums, oh yes- we go to a PYO in Esher that has plum trees. I came out of there last time we went with a belly full of plums and another bag full. They were so good.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 April, 2015, 09:53:54 am
On the subject of fruit and veg things, any of it that doesn't have a flavour or texture - i.e. loads of supermarket stuff. Bred for looks, like a vacuous showdog.This. Some of the worst are those huge, glossy red apples - I think they're called discovery - which look so gorgeous but have the taste and feel of cotton wool.
Post by: menthel on 30 April, 2015, 10:10:30 am
On the subject of fruit and veg things, any of it that doesn't have a flavour or texture - i.e. loads of supermarket stuff. Bred for looks, like a vacuous showdog.This. Some of the worst are those huge, glossy red apples - I think they're called discovery - which look so gorgeous but have the taste and feel of cotton wool.
That would probably be a red delicious. The discovery is the typical early apple of the UK apple season, red and green with pink tinged flesh and a sweet, perfumed flavour. Mmmm.
Rant- I now want a discovery or two and some ripe, juicy english plums.
Post by: ian on 30 April, 2015, 10:42:38 am
I've always been a bit scared of fruit. Growing up in the East Midlands, there wasn’t a lot of it. Fruit was more of a myth than an actual thing. Perhaps in your gardens of England you were gorging on apples, pears, plums and berries. We had to make do with coal. My grandparents never ate vegetables or fruit with the exceptions of potatoes, peas, and rhubarb. Rhubarb had to be entombed in sugar, to a depth were you needed heavy machinery to unearth it, and then it was so sour your skull would shrink and pucker. Peas and potatoes were tossed liberally in bacon fat or beef dripping. Liberally, as in they were praying for rescue. Shell have spilled less oil. It wasn't a meal without lard, which was a bona fide food group when they were younger. You had to have five types of rendered animal product each day. There was a government chart somewhere.
Peas, unless I was lucky and my grandad had grown some, were the marrowfat variety. Those little green-grey musket balls that were unconvincing as vegetables. Even the name was denies they’re veg. My gran would soak them for about a week with some concoction of soda and then cook them for another week. At which point they were still vaguely bullet-like but had taken on the grey hue of the recently deceased. My gran would raise them like Lazarus with a few magic drops of luminous green food colouring. There’s nothing in nature that is or ever was that colour. A 1940s chemistry lab maybe. I suspect it had killed a lot of lab rats before my gran started testing it on children. To this day, I call it Agent Green.
Apples, though, they had apples. They never ate an apple. Apples were a decorative feature intended to sit in the bowl on the coffee table in the room that all grandparents in that time had but never used. A room stuck waiting for special occasions that never came. Those apples never went mouldy, they’d sit there and gradually and almost imperceptibly wrinkle and mummify. I can only assume the drifting fug of cigarette smoke had a preservative effect. Once as a child, I snuck in there, and as I admired the collection of royalty paraphernalia and coronation china, my eyes were tugged to the natural and refreshing green of those apples. I'd heard about people in other parts of the world eating fruit and had vague sense that apples might be edible. Tasty even. It was admittedly a strange concept but I was a curious child. So I reached out and touched one. Brought it my mouth and bit into it. And don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. Oh my god, it was like mush inside, a foul powdery, brown substance that I couldn't even spit out. I'd bitten into the Tutankhamen of apples. Good god, that apple might have dated back to the Garden of Eden.
I can't bite into an apple to this day, I have to cut a sliver off with a knife and then poke it few times just in case.
Post by: geraldc on 30 April, 2015, 10:50:06 am
Post by: madcow on 30 April, 2015, 04:33:08 pm
Back to gravy-Does anyone recall this place ?
http://www.kitchennightmaresblog.com/2011/05/uk-season-4-episode-2-fenwick-arms.html (http://www.kitchennightmaresblog.com/2011/05/uk-season-4-episode-2-fenwick-arms.html) ,
Gordon Ramsay persuaded to the owner to market the pub restaurant as the home of good gravy.
Obviously there was no market for hardcore gravy as the last time that I was down that way , the pub was shut-for good.
Worse still the landlord was reported to have debunked to this side of the Pennines , and only a few miles away from our house.
Post by: ian on 30 April, 2015, 05:12:26 pm
I'm angry with my brain. I find food delicious through taste and/or simply volume. With condiments most things can be salvaged. On holiday I accidentally ordered one of those freaky pizzas that are just parma ham, rocket and few bits of ripped up burata, I'd always laughed at people who ordered that, I mean who wants a pizza with a salad on it. I really liked it.
Indeed. I remember many years ago there was a place we went for pizza and beer after a hard day harvesting seaweed from the beach in Narragansett Bay (there was a reason for needing a bootful of red algae). The first time they rolled out this piece of flat bread sprinkled with random dots of torn up cheese and speckles of pesto sauce amongst a rather spartan forest of rocket, I set myself up for disappointment. This definitely wasn't deep dish. But oh my, best pizza ever. I make it at home, admittedly not as well, but burata, rocket, and pesto, and chopped tomatoes is all you need. Optional ham. Base should be very thin and crisp.
Post by: geraldc on 04 May, 2015, 09:25:02 pm
Post by: Jurek on 04 May, 2015, 09:28:11 pm
Brown sauce = WTF?
Post by: hellymedic on 04 May, 2015, 09:36:11 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 May, 2015, 10:13:06 pm
I did get a plate after I girned.
Also, get some frikkin lights that aren't red, I can hardly read the menu.
Yes, I know the old git thread is over there <<<<
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 07 May, 2015, 07:47:29 pm
Post by: ian on 07 May, 2015, 08:11:06 pm
As a plus side, I went to a buffet with the good burghers of Charlotteburg, and the they had both a snake and a tortoise made out of meat tartare. As I'm not going to eat the stuff, I might as well be impressed with their culinary artistic nous.
Post by: Pingu on 09 May, 2015, 09:23:16 pm
...good burghers of Charlotteburg, and the they had both a snake and a tortoise made out of meat tartare...
But not good burgers?
Post by: Andrij on 10 May, 2015, 09:54:44 pm
Post by: Deano on 10 May, 2015, 11:04:36 pm
(https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5346/17503246715_b274d0071b_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/sEGHrM)
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 May, 2015, 09:03:55 am
When my son first started cheffing for Jamies, only Jamies had planks and he thought they were so cool, so wonderful.
Two years later, he's still working for Jamies and his opinion on planks "If I ever seen another fucking plank again I'm going to explode."
Post by: ian on 11 May, 2015, 10:19:50 am
Post by: hellymedic on 11 May, 2015, 10:51:44 am
Bowls are for spoon food, like soup and some puddings!
PLATES are for knife and fork food...
Post by: tiermat on 11 May, 2015, 10:52:24 am
Disappointingly all the food arrived on plates!
The first word of the last sentence may be a lie. :)
Post by: Andrij on 11 May, 2015, 01:37:47 pm
Post by: ian on 12 May, 2015, 10:31:44 pm
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 May, 2015, 10:46:11 pm
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
And that Red Bull, eh? It's not red, it doesn't contain cows and it doesn't give you wings. It's no wonder your racing cars are so shit this year; you've been putting the stuff in the petrol tank, haven't you? This is what happens when your team boss becomes romantically involved with a Spice Girl. Not Renault's fault at all...
Post by: menthel on 13 May, 2015, 10:18:01 am
That stuff. The curious cellophane-like material that food manufacturers deem suitable for packaging stuff like dried pasta, nuts, and other eminently scatterable comestibles. It's not suitable. It's deeply and profoundly not suitable. It's as suitable as using chocolate for aeroplane wings or a spacesuit made of batter. Now there's pecan halves all over my kitchen floor. That fucking material, no matter how gently you try to tear open of the packet, the moment your mind skitters off to ponder the existential mysteries of life and nutty, nutty snacky goodness, the entire thing tears open scattering the contents to the four distant corners of the kitchen. Yes, I could use scissors, but they're in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen and I want nutty, nutty, snacky goodness now. I'm not patient, I'm a man. How did they fit so many nuts in the packet? I swear they're everywhere. It's like someone exploded a pecan factory. There must be a tonne. There's probably an entire army of squirrels outside, like it's some bizarre rodent finale to Lord of the Rings. Food packing fuckers, wasn't tetrapack enough? Was not enough milk sacrificed by our clumsy fingers, enough juice spattered up walls and across ceilings? Weren't frangible corned beef can keys enough to try our sanity beyond the point it bends and breaks? Oh no, you had to invent this stuff. And for the record, those sticky little tabs you claim are for securing the packets. No, they don't work either, and you know it. It's no-glue, that what it is. It feels sticky. It fools you into thinking it might be sticky. But the moment the cupboard closes, it's done. You reach in the following day and take out your sealed packet, and a pasta avalanche buries your feet. I hate those food packaging evil-doers.
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
They put couscous in that fucking stuff. Couscous. Bastards.
Post by: hellymedic on 13 May, 2015, 12:36:03 pm
That stuff. The curious cellophane-like material that food manufacturers deem suitable for packaging stuff like dried pasta, nuts, and other eminently scatterable comestibles. It's not suitable. It's deeply and profoundly not suitable. It's as suitable as using chocolate for aeroplane wings or a spacesuit made of batter. Now there's pecan halves all over my kitchen floor. That fucking material, no matter how gently you try to tear open of the packet, the moment your mind skitters off to ponder the existential mysteries of life and nutty, nutty snacky goodness, the entire thing tears open scattering the contents to the four distant corners of the kitchen. Yes, I could use scissors, but they're in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen and I want nutty, nutty, snacky goodness now. I'm not patient, I'm a man. How did they fit so many nuts in the packet? I swear they're everywhere. It's like someone exploded a pecan factory. There must be a tonne. There's probably an entire army of squirrels outside, like it's some bizarre rodent finale to Lord of the Rings. Food packing fuckers, wasn't tetrapack enough? Was not enough milk sacrificed by our clumsy fingers, enough juice spattered up walls and across ceilings? Weren't frangible corned beef can keys enough to try our sanity beyond the point it bends and breaks? Oh no, you had to invent this stuff. And for the record, those sticky little tabs you claim are for securing the packets. No, they don't work either, and you know it. It's no-glue, that what it is. It feels sticky. It fools you into thinking it might be sticky. But the moment the cupboard closes, it's done. You reach in the following day and take out your sealed packet, and a pasta avalanche buries your feet. I hate those food packaging evil-doers.
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
They put couscous in that fucking stuff. Couscous. Bastards.
Quinoa too, AAARRRGGGHHH!
Post by: menthel on 13 May, 2015, 12:57:26 pm
(Perhaps this should be in the first world problems thread...)
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 May, 2015, 01:04:33 pm
Last night I opened a new sort of packet of Sainbury's couscous which appeared to have been vacuum packed. It was in a square brick sort of shape. I counted myself fortunate that I didn't get sprayed by the stuff when I opened it.
Post by: ian on 13 May, 2015, 01:07:37 pm
Worse still, my wife mocks me when it happens. Why didn't you use scissors, she'll ask. Because. Because. Because. I think she's an agent.
Post by: menthel on 13 May, 2015, 01:25:17 pm
Yep, couscous. I too have a bag of bulgur wheat that mocks me every time I open the cupboard. It knows and it waits. Ever patient. I thought I got around the issue with couscous by buying barley couscous in a cardboard packet, but no, inside is a bag and you know what the bag is made of: that stuff. Somewhere, from their sub-volcanic lair, the packaging scientists mock us with their challenges.
Worse still, my wife mocks me when it happens. Why didn't you use scissors, she'll ask. Because. Because. Because. I think she's an agent.
Scissors? They make no difference. The bloody bag will find some way of splitting so that the tiny grains can flow out an some unexpected angle, miss the container for which you are aiming and find their way over the work surfaces, floor and into all sorts of nooks and crannies. I love a bit of couscous personally but just wish they would put it in a box or an easily opened paper bag.
Luckily the chia seeds are in a foil resealable bag. (Yes, I am that middle class.)
Bastards.
Post by: pcolbeck on 13 May, 2015, 01:50:28 pm
Post by: Kim on 13 May, 2015, 01:56:52 pm
Scissors? They make no difference. The bloody bag will find some way of splitting so that the tiny grains can flow out an some unexpected angle, miss the container for which you are aiming and find their way over the work surfaces, floor and into all sorts of nooks and crannies. I love a bit of couscous personally but just wish they would put it in a box or an easily opened paper bag.
It's a plot by the mice to keep themselves fed.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 13 May, 2015, 02:18:57 pm
Post by: menthel on 13 May, 2015, 02:26:29 pm
They put couscous in Um Bongo? :o
I blame Heston.
Post by: ian on 13 May, 2015, 08:04:55 pm
They put couscous in Um Bongo? :o
I blame Heston.
Whoo, 'serving suggestion'.
The entire 'serving suggestion' thing seems to be falling out of favour, which is disappointing. I don't even know what to do with food without some easy to follow instructions. I like the surety of a nice visual explanation. For instance, if I'm going to eat a tin of sweetcorn, I should probably put it in a bowl and get a big green bloke to guard it. That's what the label tells and let me tell you, no one has nicked my salad-crisp sweetcorn yet.
Before serving suggestions came along, who knew that soup needed to be served in bowls. The history of soup is messily decorated with plating mishaps. Possibly it's the lack of serving suggestions that had led us down the path towards a plateless society where food must be consumed out of old lamps, shoes, duffel bags, and driftwood. If only burgers came with a serving suggestion depicting them nestling between two halves of a bun sat firmly and proudly on a plate.
A quick perusal of my larder cupboard indicates that cereal should be served in bowls (and not apparently scooped directly out of the packet and into your mouth, but hey, the bowl is only a suggestion, ask yourself What Would Heston Do?) Couscous is very mysterious, full of Arabian intrigue, just a little glimpse through a window in the packet. No hint that I shouldn't just spill it all over the floor. Fortunately, my jar of pasta sauce clearly shows it's to be served on pasta. Just a suggestion now, if you want to use it as a cheesecake topping, well What Would Heston Do? I think we all know.
Post by: hellymedic on 13 May, 2015, 08:45:04 pm
Mum tells me cornflakes aren't 'food' anyway.
She has a point.
Post by: Jurek on 13 May, 2015, 09:02:10 pm
Breakfast cereals (whatever they are) are marketed at 4 to 10 yo, who are, apparently, responsible for which breakfast cereals end up in the weekly supermarket trolley....
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 May, 2015, 09:02:46 pm
Willy Wonka was very clear about this.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 May, 2015, 09:08:16 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kellogg%27s#History
Post by: perpetual dan on 13 May, 2015, 09:39:04 pm
Post by: Bledlow on 13 May, 2015, 09:45:26 pm
... the fact that most apples are now secretly brown in the middle ....You're getting apples from the wrong shops. I've not had one that was brown in the middle for a couple of years, at least, & that was a one-off.
Mrs B & I often take pot luck, buying supermarket budget apples. They're occasionally lacking in flavour, but all those undersized, or slightly misshapen, or not-well-known-varieties apples usually taste perfectly OK, & sometimes very good. And just one brown in the middle one in years.
Post by: Bledlow on 13 May, 2015, 10:03:50 pm
What do the BRITONS have against decent bread, especially in pubs? So many meals, some very nice, have been let down by a poor excuse for bread. It has come to the point I generally avoid meals which include bread, but I slipped in today's visit to my local for some grub. The cheeseburger was as good as I anticipated (this same pub tries to pass of pita as naan, and in East London!) but the bun was horrid. And they appear to have run out of plates and served my meal on a cutting board.Dunno, but it's bloody annoying.
There's been a sausage stand in Broad Street, in Reading, for years. I once bought a sausage in bread from it. The sausage wasn't bad, but the bread was ghastly. It wasn't that it tasted bad. For that, it would have to have had some kind of flavour. The really, really bad thing about it was the texture. The almost non-existent, but not quite, sensation as I bit into it was - unpleasant. Not strongly, but enough. The bread was a buffer between the perfectly acceptable sausage & my mouth, muffling the sensation of biting into it, & coating my taste buds so I couldn't enjoy the sausage properly.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 May, 2015, 10:11:22 pm
Post by: ian on 13 May, 2015, 10:11:53 pm
Post by: menthel on 13 May, 2015, 10:27:50 pm
Perhaps we need a food disappointment thread...
Post by: hellymedic on 13 May, 2015, 11:22:40 pm
Hmm, I had a horrible moment today when I bit into a strawberry. Now we all know that most strawberries taste of disappointment, like they've been hydroponically grown on tears. These tasted unaccountably nice. There's going to be some kind of fruity payback.
Quite often the 'budget' or 'Basics' strawberries have Flavour, rather than Appearance. The 'Taste the Difference' range disappoints more frequently.
Helly-the-Cheapskate.
Post by: jsabine on 14 May, 2015, 01:15:56 am
What do the BRITONS have against decent bread, especially in pubs? So many meals, some very nice, have been let down by a poor excuse for bread. It has come to the point I generally avoid meals which include bread, but I slipped in today's visit to my local for some grub. The cheeseburger was as good as I anticipated (this same pub tries to pass of pita as naan, and in East London!) but the bun was horrid. And they appear to have run out of plates and served my meal on a cutting board.Dunno, but it's bloody annoying.
There's been a sausage stand in Broad Street, in Reading, for years. I once bought a sausage in bread from it. The sausage wasn't bad, but the bread was ghastly. It wasn't that it tasted bad. For that, it would have to have had some kind of flavour. The really, really bad thing about it was the texture. The almost non-existent, but not quite, sensation as I bit into it was - unpleasant. Not strongly, but enough. The bread was a buffer between the perfectly acceptable sausage & my mouth, muffling the sensation of biting into it, & coating my taste buds so I couldn't enjoy the sausage properly.
This, while unacceptable and wrong for a sausage sandwich, is quite the reverse for a bacon one, the twin essences of which should be good bacon and bad bread.
I've had some good, indeed very good, bacon sarnies made with wholemeal or granary or sourdough or seeded (in other words interesting) bread, and they've been very nice indeed. But true greatness comes only between rounds of white sliced, the blander the better. (And, of course, a dollop of HP sauce.)
Post by: ian on 14 May, 2015, 08:27:33 pm
Hmm, I had a horrible moment today when I bit into a strawberry. Now we all know that most strawberries taste of disappointment, like they've been hydroponically grown on tears. These tasted unaccountably nice. There's going to be some kind of fruity payback.
Quite often the 'budget' or 'Basics' strawberries have Flavour, rather than Appearance. The 'Taste the Difference' range disappoints more frequently.
The strawbs (the remainder of which I'm stuffing in my mouth right now) were Waitrose Essentials, which is kind of thing middle class people buy to share the pain of the poor people who have to shop at Lidl, not to mention Elsanta (the Swindon of strawberries), and from Bucks. In May. They should, according to all the known rules of the universe, taste awful. Any hint of strawberry homeopathically reduced to a sad, lonely singular atom.
Bread. Bread. Bread. A couple of things make me angry about bread.
Firstly, where the fuck is it? I go to a restaurant in Foreignlandia and they plonk a basket of bread in front of me. I eat it all and they bring more. Free bread is one of the bricks from which civilisation is built. I go to a restaurant in Britain and the table stays empty. My bread? I was once told they didn't even have bread. In a restaurant. Do you have food? Have you misunderstood the entire premise of a restaurant? Or they offer to charge me about £4 for a few measly offcuts of wooden, day-old baguette that looks like it's been chewed on by a Frenchman and discarded. Also once, on espying the bread on another table, I asked for mine. 'Oh we only serve bread to tables of four or more.' Yes, well, most of my friends are invisible and imaginary and they're here with me. Bring our fucking bread.
As JSabine says, don't fuck with the bacon butty. Bland, white bread is essential to properly cosset your bacon. Don't give me bacon on an artisan roll. No sourdough, no beetle bread itching with pumpkin seeds and god-knows-what they found on the bakery floor. And if comes on brioche I'm going to murder you. Then have you bought back so I can do it again. Fucking brioche. It's not bread, it's cake. Muffins too. Cake! Bacon cake? Fuckity fuck.
Post by: Feanor on 14 May, 2015, 09:38:24 pm
It needs to be on white bread, but a nice crusty white bread roll is good. It may cut the roof of your mouth with crispy sharpness, but that's OK.
Artisan breads are wrong, and the further they diverge from white bread, the worse they are.
Wholemeal rolls totally miss the point.
The Bacon / Bread ratio is critical, too.
There is a Goldilocks zone.
And the Bacon itself: not to lean; it requires the correct fat ratio.
But cooked till it's slightly crisp, not soggy, and not like USAin breakfast bacon that you break your teeth on.
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Post by: ian on 14 May, 2015, 09:57:42 pm
Oh, and fuckers who serve burgers in croissants or doughnuts. You're fucked come food judgement day too.
*I'm not sure what this says about our relationship.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 May, 2015, 12:43:06 am
- very cold, and/or
- drowned in maple syrup
Post by: menthel on 15 May, 2015, 06:45:30 am
As for a bacon buttie, unsmoked, fat a little crispy on white bloomer, butter and brown sauce. Oh yes. Served with tea of the builders sort, coffee just doesn't work.
Post by: ian on 15 May, 2015, 09:11:36 am
Smokey bacon in sandwiches though. That's one of my disappointments in this country, I can't get a good fry up or bacon butty with smoked bacon.
And don't get me going on beef bacon. I'm in Dubai and as such I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel of shitty places, don't make it worse. At least signpost the infidel counter.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 May, 2015, 12:00:21 pm
In the future Americans will win wars by bowling those bloated pork-stuffed schoolchildren through the massed ranks of the terrorists, sending them spinning into oblivion, thus combining their wholesome US love of food, bowling, and war into one healthy activity for all the family. It's called Project Pork Bun. Bless you CIA, bless you.:D ;D :D
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 May, 2015, 12:11:40 pm
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Heretic! Brown sauce FTW!
Also, I actually like my bacon limp and flaccid but then I'm weird like that. I don't like toast that shatters when you bite either.
Post by: menthel on 15 May, 2015, 12:16:39 pm
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Heretic! Brown sauce FTW!
Also, I actually like my bacon limp and flaccid but then I'm weird like that. I don't like toast that shatters when you bite either.
Floppy bacon, agreed! I like a little colour on the fat but otherwise floppy!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 May, 2015, 12:19:17 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 May, 2015, 12:26:20 pm
Post by: Pingu on 15 May, 2015, 10:42:51 pm
Post by: Jaded on 15 May, 2015, 11:07:31 pm
We had to get it out of the packet and beat it into submission to get it to lie flat in the frying pan.
No limp Canadian or Mexican bacon here. This was full-bloodied British bacon. The kind that has to be wrestled into the pan, but when cooked it still fights, knowing that two pieces of play dough await it, followed by drowning in brown sauce. Eventually it gives up and says "OK, OK, I give in, I'll add to the collection of cancer-causing incidents you have in your life, and you now may not make it to 97.
Post by: pcolbeck on 16 May, 2015, 10:23:22 am
And the French have lardons ::-)Yes but they do have confit du canard so they are forgiven.
Post by: Feanor on 16 May, 2015, 10:35:30 pm
And don't get me going on beef bacon. I'm in Dubai and as such I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel of shitty places, don't make it worse. At least signpost the infidel counter.
Turkey 'Bacon' was the thing in Abu Dhabi when I was last there.
The hotel I was in served this up as the default option.
There was indeed an infidel counter, where a miserable-looking TPN doled up what seemed to be real pig-based protein.
You felt kind of dirty going up there, like you were trying to sneak into a seedy sex shop or something. I got over that pretty quick, what with my experience of seedy sex shops and all.
The same hotel had a bar in the basement, that was open only to furriner infidels.
The 'religious police' would drop by from time to time to ensure no locals were enjoying the hospitality.
At least I was just there on business.
My, what fun it must be to go on your holliberries to the UAE, where the locals all basically hate you and resent you and your infidel types even being there.
Post by: ian on 18 May, 2015, 10:36:39 am
But yeah, beef bacon. It's weird. I can eat turkey bacon (it used to be a thing over here, I'm sure). I've not been to Dubai for several years and hope to extend that record.
In other matters, where did all the Mexican places come from – I was in Spitalfields Market yesterday and I think it was all burrito and taco places. I've nothing against them, but hold on, healthy? HEALTHY. Get thyself to LA, one of taco vans, and find a taco smothered with cheese and good stuff. It's a calorie avalanche. I blame the those avocados. Ubiquitous green fuckers.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 May, 2015, 11:04:49 am
Post by: ian on 18 May, 2015, 11:37:32 am
Post by: pcolbeck on 18 May, 2015, 12:44:05 pm
I've no idea why Chrome doesn't just use the built-in Mac OED dictionary.
because Chrome is cross platform not just Mac. Not all platforms even have an inbuilt dictionary. Much easier to write one lot of code to use a dictionary plugin rather than a separate code for every platform.
Post by: ian on 18 May, 2015, 10:08:45 pm
I've no idea why Chrome doesn't just use the built-in Mac OED dictionary.
because Chrome is cross platform not just Mac. Not all platforms even have an inbuilt dictionary. Much easier to write one lot of code to use a dictionary plugin rather than a separate code for every platform.
Well, it's a shit dictionary and I'm blaming it for my lexicographical misdoings from this point on.
In other news. Asparagus, you can fuck off too. Makes my wee smell like Beelzebub's used bath water. If that's not bad enough, try visiting a loo in Germany during their annual spargle-bargle.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 May, 2015, 10:53:52 pm
* - slab of fruit (dies)
Post by: madcow on 19 May, 2015, 12:37:16 am
I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
Red Rock Cider-it's not red and there's no rocks in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaAdSdZUzgs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaAdSdZUzgs)
Post by: L CC on 20 May, 2015, 11:06:46 am
Asparagus, you can fuck off too. Makes my wee smell like Beelzebub's used bath water.
Mr Smith wont eat sparragrass for this reason.
I don't get it. My shit smells awful sometimes but I still eat curry. Don't you flush?
Post by: Chris S on 20 May, 2015, 12:28:20 pm
Asparagus, you can fuck off too. Makes my wee smell like Beelzebub's used bath water.
Mr Smith wont eat sparragrass for this reason.
Had some day before yesterday, so there :P.
I do eat it - but yes, it does make my wee smell pretty grim. Generally speaking, on a low carb diet, wee should smell sweet like pear-drops, and poo doesn't smell at all.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 20 May, 2015, 12:41:18 pm
Post by: ian on 20 May, 2015, 01:14:36 pm
Anyway, to me it's an extremely pungent and profoundly disagreeable thiol odour (Proust, a renowned sniffer of things, including it seems his own chamberpot and possibly those of others – he was non-specific – thinks it's perfume but then he was French). I'm no fan of the smell of poo (I'm not sure if Proust had thoughts on the matter) but it's supposed to smell like that. Urine on the other hand shouldn't smell like used demonic bathwater.
Post by: pcolbeck on 20 May, 2015, 01:27:14 pm
Post by: T42 on 20 May, 2015, 01:40:49 pm
Post by: tiermat on 20 May, 2015, 01:42:51 pm
I knew there was a gene to make your pee stink but not one for flavour. Thought that was the Brussel sprouts gene.
I thought the Brussel Sprout gene wasn't concerned with taste, but to do with detecting a poison that isn't within sprouts?
Post by: Kim on 20 May, 2015, 01:56:08 pm
Post by: tiermat on 20 May, 2015, 01:58:06 pm
Unfortunately one of those said vitamins can cause a problem, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/21/man-overdoses-on-brussels_n_2347448.html
Post by: Kim on 20 May, 2015, 02:04:04 pm
BUUUUUT they contain vitamins an stuff...
Yes, but they make the taste of meths seem nice.
Post by: rafletcher on 20 May, 2015, 03:00:27 pm
Post by: ian on 20 May, 2015, 03:12:08 pm
My asparagus rant is simply that everyone banging on about how amazing it is annoys me as I just find the stuff insipid and bland. I must not have the gene that makes it taste brilliant.
This too, I mean I could put up with the demonic stink if they tasted like chocolate-coated, cake-battered manna, but it just tastes of, well, green. Even the white stuff which just compounds things by looking weird, like an alien penis. I will point out that I've never seen an alien penis. I don't for the record know if aliens even have penises and I'm not Googling because it'll just get weird. I'm sure there's an entire genre that I don't want to know about. The dinosaurs were enough.
I can't eat sprouts owing to seismic intestinal events that presage colonic vulcanism. I quite like sprouts, I'm big fan of the brassicas in general. This is mostly because their biochemical pathways fill me with a childlike glee. Fortunately cauliflower, broccoli, kale, and cabbage don't seem to cause the same level of internal tectonism.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 May, 2015, 03:21:38 pm
I quite like sprouts, I'm big fan of the brassicas in general. This is mostly because their biochemical pathways fill me with a childlike glee.
That, if I may be so bold, is no criterion by which to judge a foodstuff.
Post by: ian on 20 May, 2015, 03:49:06 pm
Post by: menthel on 20 May, 2015, 04:33:58 pm
I am still very full as well.
Post by: ian on 20 May, 2015, 07:47:50 pm
OK, that wasn't one of my better ideas. Don't cross the dairy products. I have severe face pucker.
No-fat yoghurt, no-fat yoghurt to the big food fuck-off bin.
Post by: Kim on 20 May, 2015, 07:51:50 pm
If you're trying to reduce fat intake, eat smaller portions or choose a different food entirely. Anything that's unnaturally low-fat will, by definition, ming.
See also: margarine.
Post by: hellymedic on 20 May, 2015, 08:15:07 pm
Small portion of delicious goodness outstrips big pile of watery ming always.
Post by: Andrew Br on 20 May, 2015, 11:27:56 pm
Had a perfectly servicable burger and chips served in a basket, which is better than a board but less so than a plate. The rant is simply because there was no room for sauce anywhere on the bloody basket. I had to get them to bring me one of those little pots they serve sauce in.
I am still very full as well.
Interestingly (or not) 504steve's and my "Gourmet Burgers" were served on plates last night on Oscar's Dad's latest Manchester visit ride out but TEC's "Hereford Burger" came on a plank of wood.
This was in a Chef and Brewer and yes, it was too much food.
Not so much a rant, more a POI.
As you were.
Post by: Kim on 20 May, 2015, 11:45:59 pm
Interestingly (or not) 504steve's and my "Gourmet Burgers" were served on plates last night on Oscar's Dad's latest Manchester visit ride out but TEC's "Hereford Burger" came on a plank of wood.
Meanwhile on Tim Hall's latest Coventry visit ride (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=90587.msg1864504#msg1864504) the food was served on plates, though a plank of wood was deployed in order to make two bowls of chips easier to carry. It was also noted that the pies weren't not-a-pies.
Another POI.
Post by: tiermat on 21 May, 2015, 08:53:20 am
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
Post by: rafletcher on 21 May, 2015, 10:45:21 am
Post by: Ham on 21 May, 2015, 11:00:54 am
Absent:
Anchovies
Tomato
Tuna
Green Beans
Present:
Eggs
potato
Salad leaves
Cucumber
Dressing
Cretins. That's like croutons only vastly larger and with any flavour processed into sawdust.
Work that one out.
Post by: Kim on 21 May, 2015, 12:34:43 pm
When I rule the (food) word...
Top rantage. :thumbsup:
Have I complained about beer batter yet?
Well I'm going to do it again.
Chish'n'fips. A fine traditional pub meal, and relatively immune form unwarranted meddling (except for regional variations on the pea axis). That's unless some fuckwit has made the fish taste not of fish, but of fish that's been swimming in a barrel of ale. If I wanted beer with my chish'n'fips, I'd buy a pint. It is, after all, a pub. Stop fucking up perfectly good food for those of us who *gasp* Don't Like Beer.
Post by: perpetual dan on 21 May, 2015, 03:03:32 pm
I made the VERY bad mistake of ordering a salad nicoise in Australia Zoo (the one where they haven't really found out that Steve Irwin has Passed On. Well, they have found out but are working around - recommended visit anyhow)
Absent:
Anchovies
Tomato
Tuna
Green Beans
Present:
Eggs
potato
Salad leaves
Cucumber
Dressing
Cretins. That's like croutons only vastly larger and with any flavour processed into sawdust.
Work that one out.
Are the cretins a substitute for the fish? Salad Cretinoise, if you will. :P
Post by: geraldc on 21 May, 2015, 03:15:29 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 21 May, 2015, 03:30:12 pm
Lovely recipe, it's become of my families favourites but I made a few changes. I am vegetarian so swapped the lamb for mushrooms. I don't like lentils so replaced them with onions. I'm allergic to tomato so decided to use cream instead. Not keen on spicy food so omitted the chillies. Baking in the oven takes too long so I do it all in a pan on the hob.
Words fail me.
Post by: ian on 21 May, 2015, 03:31:36 pm
Gourmet burgers! Oi. Reading the paper they're now doing tapas burgers. Chorizo no less. That's not a fucking burger, it's a sausage.
And people who pronounce chorizo with a lisp. Are you Spanish? No. Then fuck off until you can pronounce it English-style.
Post by: rafletcher on 21 May, 2015, 03:38:21 pm
Lovely recipe, it's become of my families favourites but I made a few changes. I am vegetarian so swapped the lamb for mushrooms. I don't like lentils so replaced them with onions. I'm allergic to tomato so decided to use cream instead. Not keen on spicy food so omitted the chillies. Baking in the oven takes too long so I do it all in a pan on the hob.
I hope that post was an ironic response to others who had substituted various ingredients etc.
But it reminded me of a Delia Smith "Rissotto" - you know, the dish where you stir the rise to make the gloopy sauce.
She baked it in the oven.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 May, 2015, 04:24:10 pm
And people who pronounce chorizo with a lisp. Are you Spanish? No. Then fuck off until you can pronounce it English-style.
If you athk for chorizo inna-Thpanish-thtylee in Occupied Mexico the localth will look at you athkance, though it ith utheful to have a THpanish thpeaker in the party jutht in cathe.
When it was necessary to communicate details of a road closure to a car-load of Spanish-only ranch-hands my grate frend Mr Leone was heard to observe "sixty years I've lived in southern California and I have to get a Brit* to do the Spanish translation!"
* - not me.
Post by: geraldc on 21 May, 2015, 05:47:20 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 21 May, 2015, 09:11:37 pm
I have the recipe book with that recipe in it, and she says she developed it specifically to avoid the aeons of stirring risotto requires. And I've made it, and it's lovely.Lovely recipe, it's become of my families favourites but I made a few changes. I am vegetarian so swapped the lamb for mushrooms. I don't like lentils so replaced them with onions. I'm allergic to tomato so decided to use cream instead. Not keen on spicy food so omitted the chillies. Baking in the oven takes too long so I do it all in a pan on the hob.
I hope that post was an ironic response to others who had substituted various ingredients etc.
But it reminded me of a Delia Smith "Rissotto" - you know, the dish where you stir the rise to make the gloopy sauce.
She baked it in the oven.
Post by: Deano on 21 May, 2015, 10:34:58 pm
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
Post by: jsabine on 22 May, 2015, 12:27:31 am
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
I don't mind that *too* much, but the ones who ask the same question ten seconds in, before I've so much as tasted anything let alone begun to form a judgment on it, are lucky my BRITONS' reserve prevents me from doing anything other than reply "lovely, thank you" before silently fuming until the end of the course.
Waiters who deliver your food with a breezy "Enjoy!" (or worse, "Enjoy?" with a rising interrogative) will be second against the wall.
Post by: hellymedic on 22 May, 2015, 12:46:18 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 May, 2015, 02:09:35 am
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
Fork. Throat. Pudding.
Post by: tiermat on 22 May, 2015, 07:52:00 am
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
Fork.ThroatEYES. Pudding.
There, that's much better....
Post by: tiermat on 22 May, 2015, 07:53:59 am
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
I forgot that one, either I am slipping, or no one has done it to me for a while.
The obvious answer is that they will be shot somewhere that really hurts (like Swindon, or the nether regions) and then asked "Is everything ok?"
Post by: Jasmine on 22 May, 2015, 09:46:27 am
Intrusive and predatory (vultures hovering over your table to swoop on your plate if you put your fork down for half a minute) waiting staff are the reason I often prefer a takeaway delivered to my home to eating out.
I also hate this. Especially when they take the plate of the first person to finish, when someone else is still eating. It's rude and makes that person feel rushed. One of my friends always makes a point of telling the server this when they are about to whisk his plate away.
Post by: ian on 22 May, 2015, 10:17:29 am
Post by: tiermat on 22 May, 2015, 10:20:30 am
If that doesn't work, try "Put those plates back, please"
If that still doesn't work "Fuck you cnut, leave us alone" should get the message across.
If that still fails, releasing the herd of attack ferrets usually gets their attention.
What do you mean, you don't carry a herd of attack ferrets?
Post by: Basil on 22 May, 2015, 10:40:12 am
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
Post by: madcow on 22 May, 2015, 11:54:08 am
I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk
Another pub that can't decide if it's a pub or a restaurant and then fails on both counts.
Avoid anywhere with Farrow and Ball colour schemes.
Post by: ian on 22 May, 2015, 12:07:43 pm
I remember a while back being dragged to that Wahaca place that promises Mexican street food (that's another thing, street food – served in a restaurant). No bookings, senor, but you can wile away your time in our bar. It's 10pm, will we get served? He shrugs: maybe. So, hold on, we get to wait on the off-chance your staff might just fuck off home and leave us hungry?
Post by: Martin109 on 22 May, 2015, 04:47:28 pm
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
... and most people seem to have forgotten the signal given by their placement; I'm sure you don't place your knife and fork neatly side by side, which would be the conventional sign that you have now finished, and the situation is misread through ignorance. Maybe the serving staff are from foreign parts, where the same cutlery etiquette does not apply...
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 May, 2015, 06:31:02 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 22 May, 2015, 07:09:58 pm
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
... and most people seem to have forgotten the signal given by their placement; I'm sure you don't place your knife and fork neatly side by side, which would be the conventional sign that you have now finished, and the situation is misread through ignorance. Maybe the serving staff are from foreign parts, where the same cutlery etiquette does not apply...
This might well be true at the Chinese restaurant but the impatience of the vultures is inexcusable anyway.
15 seconds is not enough!
Post by: Efrogwr on 22 May, 2015, 08:02:22 pm
Indeed, I was under the impression corn flakes were invented as a cure for masturbation. Can't say I find my "community trade marked shape" wheat biscuits and muesli that erotic either, but maybe I should add it to the try anything once list?
I thought that they were intended to cure depression.
Post by: Basil on 22 May, 2015, 08:11:26 pm
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
... and most people seem to have forgotten the signal given by their placement; I'm sure you don't place your knife and fork neatly side by side, which would be the conventional sign that you have now finished, and the situation is misread through ignorance. Maybe the serving staff are from foreign parts, where the same cutlery etiquette does not apply...
Exactly. If I haven't finished, my knife and fork will be at 20 past 8. When I've finished, my signal is to place them at half past 6, 25 past 5 or 25 to 7.
This signal seems to have dropped out of the understanding of most minimum wage kids.
Post by: Kim on 22 May, 2015, 08:16:12 pm
Exactly. If I haven't finished, my knife and fork will be at 20 past 8. When I've finished, my signal is to place them at half past 6, 25 past 5 or 25 to 7.
This signal seems to have dropped out of the understanding of most minimum wage kids.
That's because they've all got digital watches.
Post by: Basil on 22 May, 2015, 08:20:36 pm
Post by: Oaky on 22 May, 2015, 08:59:07 pm
Basil
Ham
mcshroom
cheese
.
.
.
err...
(I think we have the makings of a pizza there though!)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 May, 2015, 09:10:26 pm
Exactly. If I haven't finished, my knife and fork will be at 20 past 8. When I've finished, my signal is to place them at half past 6, 25 past 5 or 25 to 7.
This signal seems to have dropped out of the understanding of most minimum wage kids.
That's because they've all got digital watches.
And are so amazingly primitive they still think these are a pretty neat idea?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 May, 2015, 07:01:22 pm
Post by: Jurek on 23 May, 2015, 07:43:17 pm
Why?
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 May, 2015, 12:42:19 am
This might well be true at the Chinese restaurant but the impatience of the vultures is inexcusable anyway.
15 seconds is not enough!
It's much harder to stab someone with a chopstick, so perhaps we should not be so critical of the ancient Chinese for their apparent failure to invent the fork.
Post by: tiermat on 24 May, 2015, 09:45:34 am
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
Post by: pcolbeck on 24 May, 2015, 11:30:30 am
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
I think the point is instead of mild powder why not just add less of normal strength ?
Post by: hellymedic on 24 May, 2015, 12:20:43 pm
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
I think the point is instead of mild powder why not just add less of normal strength ?
A good curry is a subtle mix of spices, of which heat is only one component.
Those who like some aromas may be more sensitive to hot chilli but still savour multiple other flavours.
I do not measure my manhood in Scoville units.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) note totally inconsistent spelling of 'chilli' (chile chille)
Post by: pcolbeck on 24 May, 2015, 12:33:50 pm
Post by: Pingu on 24 May, 2015, 01:28:40 pm
Quote
The Gourmet Burger Kitchen’s trademark burger since 2001 – the Kiwi burger – is made up of beef, beetroot, egg, pineapple, cheese, salad, relish and mayo.
(http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-1065/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/5/21/1432211792897/f3f8b339-ac2a-4aa1-9120-a78aba217c0b-2060x1236.jpeg)
Post by: tiermat on 25 May, 2015, 11:05:09 am
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
I think the point is instead of mild powder why not just add less of normal strength ?
A good curry is a subtle mix of spices, of which heat is only one component.
Those who like some aromas may be more sensitive to hot chilli but still savour multiple other flavours.
I do not measure my manhood in Scoville units.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) note totally inconsistent spelling of 'chilli' (chile chille)
Exactly as Helly says.
Post by: spesh on 25 May, 2015, 11:29:00 pm
http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2015/may/24/premium-burger-joints-rise-britain-datablogQuoteThe Gourmet Burger Kitchen’s trademark burger since 2001 – the Kiwi burger – is made up of beef, beetroot, egg, pineapple, cheese, salad, relish and mayo.
(http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-1065/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/5/21/1432211792897/f3f8b339-ac2a-4aa1-9120-a78aba217c0b-2060x1236.jpeg)
Beetroot? The bind moggles!
Post by: ian on 26 May, 2015, 11:09:37 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 May, 2015, 11:46:32 am
Post by: Jacomus on 01 June, 2015, 03:56:23 pm
er... I'm going to go with 'fuck no'.
Post by: tiermat on 01 June, 2015, 03:57:21 pm
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
er... I'm going to go with 'fuck no'.
I'd go with "Would you like your face and my fist to share the same space for a second or two?"
Post by: hatler on 01 June, 2015, 04:20:09 pm
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"Name and shame. Where ?
er... I'm going to go with 'fuck no'.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 June, 2015, 06:14:33 pm
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK ???
It's my dinner, not performance fucking art :o
Post by: Chris S on 01 June, 2015, 06:44:01 pm
A Smith Family Member is a chef, and (usually) has some influence over front of house. He and I had previously decided that the best way to respond to the "Everything all right for you sir/madam?" scenario was to empty your mouth into your cupped hands, say "Yes, thank you very much", or better still - stare disapprovingly at the mush in your hands and pronounce "NO! Inform chef that the Petis-pois needed another 35 seconds". Then, put the mush back in your mouth and resume your previous conversation1.
I think using Computer Science Basics works very well Front of House. Staff should adopt the Poll/Interrupt principles. They should poll all the tables, from afar and have a map in their heads of everyone's status. You shouldn't NEED to ask if everything is OK - you should be able to determine that in (to borrow a military term) a Stand Off Manner. The interrupt should come from the table - Hand Raised or pretentious twat voice calling "Waiter! Waiter!" generally would be of a lower priority than "HELP! Does anyone know the Heimlich manoeuvre?".
The response I've had to these suggestions so far - "Huh! Most front of house staff barely speak English; how do you expect them to know our body language?".
It's a work in progress.
============
1 This can actually be quite difficult to achieve if you're (a) at all squeamish or (3) even remotely emetophobic. Putting pre-masticated goo back in your mouth is pretty much contraindicated in these circumstances.
Post by: Kim on 01 June, 2015, 06:59:26 pm
Post by: ian on 01 June, 2015, 07:26:11 pm
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK ???
It's my dinner, not performance fucking art :o
I know someone who willing does this with every bloody meal she eats. It's really fucking annoying. It's not one of those here's-what-I-ate-for-year projects that might have some artistic merit (it's already been done a billion times so don't bother), but just vanity. She's one of these people who has to put every single aspect of her life on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. etc. I'm sure she blogs her trips to the shitcan. Probably live. I wouldn't mind, but to be honest, she's quite dull. Commentary like 'here's my dinner. OMG! Those tomatoes are RED!!!' Razor-sharp wit and insight there. OMG there's a fork stuck right in your head!!! Someone is going to Instagram that. She's on my people to avoid list. Handily she lives in Toronto, so it's not so challenging.
She's one of those 'you must follow me on Instagram' screechers. No, I mustn't. Everyone seems to be screeching that at the moment, there were a couple either side of Clerkenwell Rd the other day, the woman with the you must follow me on Instagram. What name? shouts the guy, DirtyHotBlonde-something she yells back at 1000 Db. I would have said something (it may come as a surprise but I just type or say whatever comes into my brain), but my wife gave me the don't-she's-bigger-than-you look.
Post by: pcolbeck on 01 June, 2015, 09:25:16 pm
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Nah if they adopted the *nix principle there would be 273 different types of cutlery each designed to deal with precisely one function of eating a particular class of food really really well.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 June, 2015, 09:52:04 am
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?""Of course. Here are my advertising rates. Oh, you want me to move the cutlery? Here are my design rates."
Post by: Jakob W on 02 June, 2015, 10:37:57 am
-Ensuring the diners were indeed enjoying their food (and that we hadn't missed any orders)
-Doing this early on in the meal means that there is no opportunity for someone to clear their plate and then throw a strop in the hope of getting the meal comped...
IME this is pretty unobtrusive, and can be done while passing the table. What annoys me is hovery waitstaff, especially when reaching on to the table; I've got two working arms, and I can top up my wine glass at my own pace, thanks.
Post by: Jacomus on 02 June, 2015, 01:05:45 pm
As for the restaurant, I knew I was going to be dicing with some kind of social media bollix, as it was a pop-up restaurant in Hoxton. Still, aside from the social media aspect, it was well priced and delicious. Also, they didn't recoil in horror when I took Lady Bertie inside, so bonus points there.
Post by: geraldc on 02 June, 2015, 01:47:15 pm
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Post by: fuzzy on 02 June, 2015, 02:02:38 pm
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Or just faded away even?
Spangles........
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 June, 2015, 04:01:58 pm
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
When I was a young Mr Larrington a pint of BEER was 35p :-\
Post by: T42 on 02 June, 2015, 04:08:43 pm
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
When I was a young Mr Larrington a pint of BEER was 35p :-\
In that case you still are a young Mr. Larrington. When I was young a pint of Younger's was 1/9d.
Post by: Basil on 02 June, 2015, 05:50:49 pm
1/10d
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 June, 2015, 06:24:09 pm
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
When I was a young Mr Larrington a pint of BEER was 35p :-\
In that case you still are a young Mr. Larrington. When I was young a pint of Younger's was 1/9d.
The cheapest beer I ever bought was 1/6d a pint, but it was rubbish. Decent beer was 1/10d a pint. Draught Guinness was 2/6d a pint... A brew for bloated plutocrats.
Post by: Oaky on 02 June, 2015, 06:37:12 pm
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
The last Polos I bought (a couple of weeks back) were from the 99p store and therefore cost 99p for six or possibly eight packs. They are Indonesian imports though, and have a slightly different texture to the normal UK ones.
Post by: hellymedic on 03 June, 2015, 09:04:35 pm
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
Post by: Bledlow on 03 June, 2015, 09:30:37 pm
Sounds just right.
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Heretic! Brown sauce FTW!
Also, I actually like my bacon limp and flaccid but then I'm weird like that. I don't like toast that shatters when you bite either.
Floppy bacon, agreed! I like a little colour on the fat but otherwise floppy!
Post by: ian on 04 June, 2015, 10:36:20 am
Post by: tiermat on 04 June, 2015, 10:45:35 am
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
Must have been a big house! My parent's house, the one I grew up in, cost £9750 in 1977, and sold for £250k in 2002, then for £450k in 2007 (to be fair, between 2002 and 2007 the then owners did a LOT of work on it and the land attached)
Post by: rafletcher on 04 June, 2015, 11:11:19 am
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Crisps were 3d when I first bought some.... (or approximately 1 1/2p)
Mars Bars were 9d (rounded up to 4p at decimalisation).
I suspect I'm a bit (lot!) older than you :-)
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 June, 2015, 02:02:45 pm
Post by: Andrij on 04 June, 2015, 02:09:05 pm
I used to spend my 10p pocket money on The Beano (8p) and a packet of crisps (2p). I think The Beano costs £2 now. More importantly, my favourite flavour is no longer salt and vinegar.
I didn't realise The Beano was available in a range of flavours.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 June, 2015, 02:36:03 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 04 June, 2015, 03:34:27 pm
Post by: pumpkin on 04 June, 2015, 03:34:45 pm
Good news here tho'
Post by: ian on 04 June, 2015, 04:52:38 pm
The alternative was quality. The Curly Wurly rocked in a 7p, or a Chupa Chups at 4p (some vfm chewage there). Blowing the entire 7p in one go was a big deal.
The best plan was to maximize your spread and quantity and quality and save the Curly Wurly till Friday. You could get Milky Ways too, but they were – for some reason – regarded as girl food. Things were more complex in summer, since you'd need to figure in 2p or 5p ice pops.
Later, we discovered that it was perilously easy just to nick pick n mix from Woolies, as the counter was by the front door.
Post by: hellymedic on 05 June, 2015, 10:43:44 pm
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
Must have been a big house! My parent's house, the one I grew up in, cost £9750 in 1977, and sold for £250k in 2002, then for £450k in 2007 (to be fair, between 2002 and 2007 the then owners did a LOT of work on it and the land attached)
5 bedrooms, one bathroom, no garage, no off-street parking, Hampstead Garden Suburb.
Post by: Pingu on 09 June, 2015, 10:18:10 pm
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8858/18624260676_fb60912e9a_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG)
IMG_5082 (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Post by: Jaded on 09 June, 2015, 11:15:28 pm
I only could manage ten pints in two hours though, so got by.
Post by: Jaded on 09 June, 2015, 11:18:12 pm
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
£500 1957
£3.75m 2010
Not sure of the factor, or who sold it for that much.
Post by: lahoski on 10 June, 2015, 11:38:49 am
Back on the subject of crap serving:It's rusty...? :-(
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8858/18624260676_fb60912e9a_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG)
IMG_5082 (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 June, 2015, 11:55:57 am
Post by: fuzzy on 10 June, 2015, 02:05:14 pm
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Post by: Vince on 11 June, 2015, 12:19:03 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 June, 2015, 09:42:56 am
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Post by: Ham on 12 June, 2015, 10:19:34 am
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer AND MUSTARD, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
FTFY
Post by: fuzzy on 12 June, 2015, 12:53:23 pm
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Yes, seriously.
As a sprog I hated the taste of cheese. The taste and texture made me heave. I therefore avoided it like the plague.
I later married a fellow cheese hater.
About 20 years ago we sampled a very small bit of pizza which we enjoyed and pizza entered the menu but, cheddar style cheeses were still to much.
Earlier this year SWMBO and I went to the Ideal Home Exhibition and tried a small sample of cheese and tomato toastie, cooked up to demo toastie bags. They were nice. We then discovered that the cheese was mature cheddar so started experimenting. In my case this included ham and cheese sandwiches.
Post by: Efrogwr on 18 June, 2015, 10:18:12 pm
Post by: Kim on 19 June, 2015, 12:09:27 am
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Yes, seriously.
[...]
Does not compute.
OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. REDO FROM START.
Post by: jsabine on 19 June, 2015, 12:56:21 am
As a sprog I hated the taste of cheese. The taste and texture made me heave. I therefore avoided it like the plague.
I later married a fellow cheese hater.
When I read this a few days ago I had to go and scoff some Roquefort just to restore the world to balance. I hadn't realised such people existed.
(Cheese currently in fridge: Stilton, mature Cheddar, aged Red Leicester, Reblochon, Brie, Manchego, Parmesan. Cheese recently finished (last day or two): Roquefort, Jarlsberg. Cheese less recently finished (last month or so): Chevre, Somerset goats, St Endellion, Ossau Iraty. Somehow it never seems enough.)
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 June, 2015, 08:40:04 am
Post by: jsabine on 19 June, 2015, 08:44:30 am
(But yes, I do find myself apologising if I put together a cheese board and there are only six or seven on it .)
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 June, 2015, 09:16:00 am
Post by: tiermat on 19 June, 2015, 09:21:17 am
Those who have been to one can attest to the cheeseboard brought out at the end of my BBQs. 6 seems to be an optimum number, any more and it gets too confusing, any less and it seems stingy.
There should be:
A blue cheese
A soft cheese
Mousetrap
A crumbly cheese
A variation on one of the above (a soft blue cheese, for example)
A wildcard (this year I am trying to get hold of some Llanut)
Post by: Vince on 19 June, 2015, 09:33:15 am
Post by: ian on 19 June, 2015, 09:44:22 am
Post by: hatler on 19 June, 2015, 11:35:26 am
Post by: lahoski on 19 June, 2015, 03:08:43 pm
Real cheese should be yellow and cheddary...Real cheese should be so ripe it tries to escape.
Goats cheese? It should literally taste like you are licking a goat, albeit a creamy, delicious goat.
Post by: L CC on 19 June, 2015, 03:32:01 pm
Goats cheese? It should literally taste like you are licking a goat, albeit a creamy, delicious goat.:sick:
If anyone ever wants rid of me, presenting goats cheese on celery would be a pretty rapid way of doing so.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 June, 2015, 05:30:08 pm
Real cheese should be yellow and cheddary...Real cheese should be so ripe it tries to escape.
Goats cheese? It should literally taste like you are licking a goat, albeit a creamy, delicious goat.
That reminds me of cycling round Corsica. You could tell there was going to be a herd of goats in the middle of the road round the next blind corner because I would be salivating :P
Post by: Kim on 19 June, 2015, 05:55:48 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 June, 2015, 06:31:17 pm
Pavlov's goat?
;D
Post by: Pingu on 19 June, 2015, 10:38:17 pm
Remember the Brébis in Corsica, Mrs P?
Post by: Pingu on 19 June, 2015, 10:39:01 pm
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/375/18345975683_f17f128fb3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz)
IMG_5128 (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Post by: menthel on 20 June, 2015, 10:47:53 pm
Anyway, we still want plates:
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/375/18345975683_f17f128fb3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz)
IMG_5128 (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
The food is hiding in the corners, are they scared of each other?
Post by: T42 on 21 June, 2015, 10:03:49 am
Anyway, we still want plates:
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/375/18345975683_f17f128fb3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz)
IMG_5128 (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Someone should have strangled Bocuse in 1950.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 June, 2015, 10:06:57 am
Post by: hellymedic on 21 June, 2015, 12:41:49 pm
Post by: Jaded on 21 June, 2015, 10:30:52 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 June, 2015, 10:51:47 pm
Does crime brûlée go with roasted arm with a light wristwatch dressing?Crime brûlée is what GruB eats!
Post by: Jaded on 22 June, 2015, 10:34:06 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 22 June, 2015, 10:58:42 pm
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
WTF is that?
Also, is that bread served up in a climbers chalk bag?
Post by: Ham on 22 June, 2015, 11:03:13 pm
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
WTF is that?
Also, is that bread served up in a climbers chalk bag?
It's the updated equivalent of the ploughman's lunch, now you don't have that many ploughmen. It's the roofer's lunch. Not quite so poetic, but it comes complete with rubber suckers underneath the comestibles to stop them sliding off pitches up to 40o. Oh yes, and other suckers prepared to pay the inflated prices....
Post by: cygnet on 22 June, 2015, 11:06:41 pm
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
What kind of pudding did you get to eat with (only) a knife?
Post by: Jaded on 22 June, 2015, 11:14:29 pm
Post by: menthel on 23 June, 2015, 12:03:30 am
I really do bloody hate the whole thing. Have been to Le Manoir and Le gavroche over the past year and both used plates to hold their food. It didn't need to be mounted on building materials.
Post by: contango on 23 June, 2015, 01:08:50 am
On a similar theme. Seeded loaves what is the point in those ? The seeds never actually make it to your mouth. They will however distribute themselves all over the car on the way back from the supermarket and then all over the kitchen once you get home.
I know it's an old post but I have to reply to this.
The purpose of sesame seeds is to look pretty. The purpose of poppy seeds is to look pretty, then lodge between your teeth where they remain until the day you die. Or have the tooth extracted. Bonus marks for lodging into a prominent position just before a crucial meeting or job interview. Or if you're having dinner during a first date.
Post by: contango on 23 June, 2015, 01:22:30 am
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Or, more likely, you'd get the knife and fork delivered with the soup you ordered for starters. The waiter would tell you it was a beta version and you should try to learn to live with it for now while they improve it. Then once the soup bowl was taken away the spoon would arrive with great fanfare, alongside your steak. The steak knife would show up slightly after you'd eaten your dessert, along with the bill. Then nobody would understand how the leading cause of injury among waiting staff was the insertion of steak knives into all sorts of places that weren't designed to take them.
Post by: geraldc on 23 June, 2015, 11:29:18 am
Post by: ian on 23 June, 2015, 12:04:11 pm
In other matters, chefs with foam. Foam belongs in my bath, not on my fucking dinner plate. Fuck off. What next, a spritz of asparagus spittle?
Post by: spesh on 23 June, 2015, 12:22:19 pm
What next, a spritz of asparagus spittle?
Don't go giving them ideas. :demon:
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 June, 2015, 12:26:28 pm
Spent the week travelling round the highlands on Holiday. I was introduced to quality home made marmalade. I've come to the conclusion Robertsons Golden Shred is p!ss, and doesn't deserve to be called marmalade, and am now looking at either making my own, or sourcing a true marmalade in London.
I discovered this at a very young age but with marmalade-making being seasonal there were insufficient supplies to last the entire year chiz.
Post by: Efrogwr on 23 June, 2015, 01:23:05 pm
Surely some daring chef du jour, an agent provocateur de cuisine is willing to serve soup on a slate. A thick soup, spread liberally, would cling like wallpaper paste, and enable the discerning gastropub diner to scrape away with a slice of their artisanal sourdough. A combination of colours could be use to create a swirl of graffiti across your soup, perhaps a green artichoke and rustic ham, with a 'tag' dashed through it with a spicy red pepper tapenade.
In other matters, chefs with foam. Foam belongs in my bath, not on my fucking dinner plate. Fuck off. What next, a spritz of asparagus spittle?
You are so last year. In last week's Kitchen Cabinet some fucker suggested pouring cooked polenta on the table (but only if the table top is wood; otherwise use a plastic table cloth), then pouring ragu in the middle of the pool. You and your chums then get stuck in. Such fun!
Post by: Oaky on 23 June, 2015, 01:30:33 pm
Surely some daring chef du jour, an agent provocateur de cuisine is willing to serve soup on a slate. A thick soup, spread liberally, would cling like wallpaper paste, and enable the discerning gastropub diner to scrape away with a slice of their artisanal sourdough. A combination of colours could be use to create a swirl of graffiti across your soup, perhaps a green artichoke and rustic ham, with a 'tag' dashed through it with a spicy red pepper tapenade.
"Manny! Do you have a tower of soup for me? What's this? Where are the turrets? It's rubbish!"
(https://i2.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6z5ev3Ao91qdqjdio1_500.png)
Post by: contango on 23 June, 2015, 03:56:42 pm
ian, I've read through this entire thread and have one thing to say.
You, sir, owe me a new keyboard.
Post by: woollypigs on 23 June, 2015, 04:16:20 pm
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2015, 04:22:16 pm
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Or, more likely, you'd get the knife and fork delivered with the soup you ordered for starters. The waiter would tell you it was a beta version and you should try to learn to live with it for now while they improve it. Then once the soup bowl was taken away the spoon would arrive with great fanfare, alongside your steak. The steak knife would show up slightly after you'd eaten your dessert, along with the bill. Then nobody would understand how the leading cause of injury among waiting staff was the insertion of steak knives into all sorts of places that weren't designed to take them.
Nahh, that's software engineering principles. :)
Post by: contango on 23 June, 2015, 04:39:33 pm
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Or, more likely, you'd get the knife and fork delivered with the soup you ordered for starters. The waiter would tell you it was a beta version and you should try to learn to live with it for now while they improve it. Then once the soup bowl was taken away the spoon would arrive with great fanfare, alongside your steak. The steak knife would show up slightly after you'd eaten your dessert, along with the bill. Then nobody would understand how the leading cause of injury among waiting staff was the insertion of steak knives into all sorts of places that weren't designed to take them.
Nahh, that's software engineering principles. :)
Fair call.
I suppose it would have been more accurate to say that the cutlery allocation would be n sporks, where n was the lesser of (k-2)/2 or 1, where k was the number of diners. This would be based on the fact that not everybody has a simultanous need for a spork (how often do two people put something in their mouths at the exact same time?) and anticipating load sharing reduces the hardware overheads.
The entirely predictable protests that people don't want to share a spork with their dining companions would then be routed to a call centre in Bangalore where the staff wouldn't understand the problem but would repeat it back several times, almost word for word, with only a few fundamental misunderstandings.
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 June, 2015, 04:50:45 pm
Too tall to eat? Check
Wooden spear? Check
Chips in a pretend frier? Check
Served on a lump of wood? Check.
Like this:
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/79796424/2015-06-20%2014.42.59.jpg)
(Actually he managed, some how, to eat it without resorting to cutlery)
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2015, 04:53:37 pm
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/79796424/2015-06-20%2014.42.59.jpg)
There's something very Alice In Wonderland going on with the scale of pretty much everything in that picture.
Post by: woollypigs on 23 June, 2015, 04:56:20 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 June, 2015, 07:56:30 pm
Post by: SteveC on 23 June, 2015, 08:05:54 pm
You are so last year. In last week's Kitchen Cabinet some fucker suggested pouring cooked polenta on the table (but only if the table top is wood; otherwise use a plastic table cloth), then pouring ragu in the middle of the pool. You and your chums then get stuck in. Such fun!An old friend of mine, in both senses, once reminisced about his time int the 8th Army in Italy (the D-Day Dodgers). He was billeted with an Italian family who were only to grateful to see him and to be rid of the Facists. He was served polenta on the kitchen table. It was just how they did it. Pretentious in a modern restaurant to be sure, but it has a 'real' history.
Post by: ian on 23 June, 2015, 08:46:11 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 23 June, 2015, 09:14:20 pm
http://issuu.com/elgaucho/docs/la_fiesta_menu/9?e=0 (http://issuu.com/elgaucho/docs/la_fiesta_menu/9?e=0)
Post by: contango on 23 June, 2015, 10:20:26 pm
Men. Seriously. Why is that the only food that groups of men can eat in restaurants is steak? It's like a carnival of competitive carnivory. I'll have the steak, one will declare. I'll have a bigger steak, says the next. Make mine raw! says another. Bring me the cow and don't even cook it! Jesus, it's like they're serving a testosterone broth (undoubtedly unctuous), they're deadset on the putting the man back in the cave. Me eat meat. Chaps, the science is in: courgettes won't make you gay. Quinoa, possibly.
The big difference is that steak tastes good and courgettes are best used as a medicine to induce vomiting.
I'm also going to call you out on the steak issue. Go to any Indian restaurant and you'll see the same testosterone soup with different ingredients, as one person orders the madrass and the next orders the vindaloo. If you don't like meat (I gather there are a few individuals who lack both a second X chromosome and a desire to eat dead animals) you can still strut your manly stuff and order a vegetable vindaloo.
Post by: ian on 23 June, 2015, 10:31:19 pm
The poor waitress had to meekly explain that there was no more steak. Ironically to a woman.
And the resulting estuarine whine is one for tomorrow. That and Yorkshire chorizo.
Post by: Efrogwr on 23 June, 2015, 10:36:06 pm
Yorkshire chorizo.
What the heck?
Post by: Kim on 24 June, 2015, 12:23:24 am
Much the same can be argued for vegetable vindaloo, though it's a dish that seems to exist in order to cater for macho posing and lifelong smokers with one remaining tastbud.
Post by: contango on 24 June, 2015, 05:31:27 am
Yeahbut, the thing with steak - assuming that you're inclined towards eating dead cows in the first place- is that it's fairly predictable. Even the most wanky plate-eschewing gastropub types are unlikely to do anything more occuous than cook it badly. I mean, have you ever ordered a steak'n'chips and had it arrive tasting like someone's spilt a pint on it? Never mind the poultry, the fish are positively jealous.
Much the same can be argued for vegetable vindaloo, though it's a dish that seems to exist in order to cater for macho posing and lifelong smokers with one remaining tastbud.
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Post by: tiermat on 24 June, 2015, 08:30:43 am
Yorkshire chorizo.
What the heck?
Don't knock it, it is lovely, and as Chorizo doesn't have a DOP, it can be made anywhere.
Post by: Tim Hall on 24 June, 2015, 09:20:54 am
Men. Seriously. Why is that the only food that groups of men can eat in restaurants is steak? It's like a carnival of competitive carnivory. I'll have the steak, one will declare. I'll have a bigger steak, says the next. Make mine raw! says another. Bring me the cow and don't even cook it! Jesus, it's like they're serving a testosterone broth (undoubtedly unctuous), they're deadset on the putting the man back in the cave. Me eat meat. Chaps, the science is in: courgettes won't make you gay. Quinoa, possibly.
A bit like A fistful of Travellers' Cheques?
Quote
Cafe owner: Hi guys. Can I make you a cocktail?
Miguel: Whisky.
Carlos: And steaks.
Cafe owner: Okay. Two steaks, wow!
Cafe owner: Two steaks coming right up.
Miguel: Wait. Make that four.
Carlos: Each.
Miguel: Six.
Carlos: Eight.
Miguel: Ten!
Cafe owner: Aw c'mon guys, ten steaks each? Are you joking?
Miguel: Do we look like comedians?
Post by: Kim on 24 June, 2015, 09:42:38 am
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Only if you follow the vegetarian != hard trope. In reality, vegetable curry dishes are effectively hotter than their meat equivalents, as the vegetables absorb more of the sauce.
Post by: geraldc on 24 June, 2015, 10:44:08 am
My group of friends are lazy, and we split bills regardless of what you personally ordered. In the old days this was called the Stella accelerator. Back when we were drinking in the union bar, Stella was noticeably more expensive than the 4% lagers, so if one person ordered Stella in a round, we'd all move to Stella.
It's the same with a steak, if someone is ordering steak, and you're paying a fixed percentage of the bill, the correct strategy is move to steak, rather than eat something cheaper, otherwise you're subsidising someone's steak meal, while you eat salad.
Post by: ian on 24 June, 2015, 12:45:52 pm
Yorkshire chorizo.
What the heck?
It wasn't the product, it was the ambitious pronunciation (quite successful with a spritely chor-IT-thoh), if you – as part of a bizarre science experiment – crossed people from Bradford with people from Madrid they'd sound just like that all the time, all vocal tea bags and olive oil.
Anyway, I'm not down with that tendency to pronounce foreign foods like the natives, though infinitely worse is the 'correctors', you know them, when you choreezo, they pull that English-teacher-you-hated face and say 'don't you mean 'chorithoh', and you stick a fork in their forehead and hammer it home using the chopping board that came under your tapas 'burger'. It's useful to verify whether or not they are Spanish before you do this.
Post by: lahoski on 24 June, 2015, 12:46:47 pm
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.Which is why one orders a family naan and one's weight in lager to accompany an unfathomably hot vegetable curry.
Post by: contango on 24 June, 2015, 01:49:48 pm
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Only if you follow the vegetarian != hard trope. In reality, vegetable curry dishes are effectively hotter than their meat equivalents, as the vegetables absorb more of the sauce.
But that requires a hot = hard outlook. It seems like a great tragedy to take an obvious opportunity for MOAR MEAT and waste it by eating only vegetables. Hot peppers really should be reclassified as honorary meats.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 24 June, 2015, 06:13:42 pm
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Only if you follow the vegetarian != hard trope. In reality, vegetable curry dishes are effectively hotter than their meat equivalents, as the vegetables absorb more of the sauce.
I thought that veggie curry was hotter than meat curry due to there being less fat in veggie curry to absorb the heat (same idea as why you put full fat yoghurt or cream in a curry that you've made too hot, or drink a pint of milk)
Post by: hellymedic on 24 June, 2015, 06:41:17 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 June, 2015, 06:43:39 pm
Post by: CrinklyLion on 24 June, 2015, 07:14:44 pm
Why isn't our filthy pizza here yet?
Post by: CrinklyLion on 24 June, 2015, 07:25:49 pm
Post by: Kim on 24 June, 2015, 07:31:06 pm
RRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What, again?
Post by: ian on 24 June, 2015, 10:21:47 pm
Now the Estuarine Whine can't not have heard this, but she's biding her time, so of course, when the waitress arrives she orders the steak-that's-no-more.
'But I can't eat anything else on the menu,' she says in a voice that sounds like someone trying to saw through old tin cans. I'll be honest, she didn't look like a woman who'd had trouble finding things to eat. I reckon she'd go for anything she didn't have to chase. She'd probably eat the menu if it wasn't written on a blackboard. 'I CAN'T' grinds the human jigsaw of despair. Now, the waitress was charming and effective and far better at the entire waitering business than I ever was, and I don't think I'll be doing her a disservice by saying that conjuring up a cow was probably outside of her skill set. Even Jesus topped out with fish and the ever-sawing Estuarine Whine insists on telling us that she 'doesn't eat fish' either. Jesus, who I think we'll agree pretty much had a monopoly on patience before he started to hand it out to saints, would have roundhoused her.
Now the sensible thing for the waitress to do at this point would have been to use the woman's head as a bongo but she tries to reasonable and explain that it's 9pm on a Saturday night and there's no more steak and little likelihood of obtaining any because there's no such thing as the Meat Santa and even if there was, he probably doesn't come at 9pm on a Saturday night in June. The woman keeps grinding away because she's one of those sullen bullies who knows that the poor girl has no choice but to listen as she starts to work her way through what sounds like an entire rusted scrapyard of complaint.
This is the point where I start to play the game of What Would Jess Do? Jess, if you don't know her, is south London's only vampire librarian, the occasional inadvertent saviour of Croydon and, more incidentally, the world. She's a proper vampire and only eats people. She's got dining standards though. I decided she'd pull off the woman's head and use it in an impromptu puppet theatre. Jess, sadly wasn't there because she's doing whatever vampire librarians do on Saturday nights, but my wife was and she's from Southend, and as such even Jess doesn't argue with her.
Anyway, I don't even think King Arthur is going to pull that fork out of the woman's forehead. It's in deep.
White Range Rover driver, natch. It's the one with a dent in the driver's side door.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 June, 2015, 04:32:10 pm
There, I've said it.
Post by: mcshroom on 25 June, 2015, 06:41:35 pm
RRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What, again?
Well she is a Lion :)
Post by: ian on 30 June, 2015, 08:31:46 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 01 July, 2015, 01:41:02 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 July, 2015, 03:44:43 pm
Papaya. It sounds exciting. It's not.How about pawpaw?
:D
It's good in a sort of overly ripe way. It's the dirty pizza of tropical fruits.
Post by: ian on 01 July, 2015, 05:54:36 pm
A couple of weeks ago, whilst I was travelling in Africa, I got caught up in conversation whilst waiting at the buffet table. When I looked back at my plate they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, piled on some spaghetti, a hefty dollop of bolognese sauce, and then balanced on top two chicken drumsticks. Now that's a meal. According to the bloke serving, I looked skinny.
Post by: menthel on 02 July, 2015, 09:53:09 am
Papaya. It sounds exciting. It's not.
Most tropical fruits are unexciting (I accuse you most of all starfruit) but papaya is the only one that I can think of that I actively dislike. Its vomit worthy.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 July, 2015, 10:05:08 am
I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango. I used to think that they only temperamentally ripened in our grim climate but after years travelling the world, I'm less convinced. Though possibly they're keeping the good stuff back for Mr Del Monte.Temperamentally ripe? Not sure what this means. They're generally unripe here I'd say.
Post by: Legs on 02 July, 2015, 11:28:30 am
...they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
Is nshima like ugali? If so, unlucky you! Like polenta but without so much as the appealing colour.
I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
Never eaten mangosteen?
Post by: ian on 02 July, 2015, 12:06:17 pm
...they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
Is nshima like ugali? If so, unlucky you! Like polenta but without so much as the appealing colour.I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
Never eaten mangosteen?
Yup, same stuff as you find throughout Africa, pap whatever. White polenta. Very bland. I tried to spice it up with an indelicate helping of sauce. If you'd ever had nali sauce, you'll know why this wasn't such a good idea. The best one was in Ghana once where the chef made a fish shape out of it and then stuck a fried fish head on the end. Et voilà, le poisson. Never figured out what happened to the rest of the fish. I'm not generally a fan of fish heads.
You know, I don't think I have eaten a mangosteen. But I'm really having a strong impression of a mango bursting out with Born in the USA.
Post by: Legs on 02 July, 2015, 12:22:40 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 July, 2015, 12:39:31 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 02 July, 2015, 01:08:19 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 July, 2015, 04:33:18 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 02 July, 2015, 07:00:28 pm
Post by: Pingu on 02 July, 2015, 10:57:58 pm
Post by: Pingu on 02 July, 2015, 10:59:19 pm
Post by: Wowbagger on 02 July, 2015, 11:55:27 pm
Bugger. Beat me by a penny.
1/10d
I must have either started life on very cheap beer or broke the licensing laws a lot more than you other buggers. I am sure basic bitter was 1s 2d whereas Double Diamond was rather more expensive.
When I started college we could get a pint of Boddington's for 9p in the catholic club.
Post by: Basil on 03 July, 2015, 12:42:42 am
With that, we caught the bus into town, went to the Greyhound, a cider pub on Holloway Head, got slaughtered on rough cider and caught the night bus back.
Cider, before Britain joined the EEC, was taxed differently to beer.
Getting slaughtered on it was probably easier in those days when I had less alcohol tolerance.
The Greyhound being a cider pub, sold only cider. It was rough. It was very rough. If you were lucky, it only had twigs floating in it. It was however, nowhere nearly as rough as its clientele. Only the innocence and naivety of youth saved us from being killed.
I still owe her that ten bob.
Post by: madcow on 03 July, 2015, 08:54:26 am
On God. Here we go. In 1973? (so not early in my pub history, as I would have been in my early 20s) my mate and I borrowed ten bob off the girl in the flat upstairs.
With that, we caught the bus into town, went to the Greyhound, a cider pub on Holloway Head, got slaughtered on rough cider and caught the night bus back.
Basil, You are on of Monty Python's Yorkshire businessmen AICMFP.
Post by: ian on 03 July, 2015, 09:46:10 am
Mangosteen is totally where it's at. That is all.
I want one. To be honest, just saying 'mangosteen' is making me happy.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 03 July, 2015, 12:35:40 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 03 July, 2015, 01:47:58 pm
Had a salmon salad, partner had a pasta. We had drinks and a basket of bread.
The table was not really big enough for this.
I like my food on plates but the salad plate's diameter was over half the table's diameter.
I much prefer to dine on rectangular/square tables.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 July, 2015, 12:02:48 am
Anyway, the tropical fruit we had in Ecuador was quite nom :P
Guanabana being the only one I remember the name of.
Post by: ian on 06 July, 2015, 09:20:28 pm
Anyway, the tropical fruit we had in Ecuador was quite nom :P
Guanabana being the only one I remember the name of.
I only go to places where the food is either taxonomically non-descript, comprises a small mountain range of stodge, or Bill's Big Ho-Ho Meal of Western Devil Food Torture.
Post by: Pingu on 06 July, 2015, 11:32:37 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 July, 2015, 09:55:29 am
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 07 July, 2015, 01:00:35 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 July, 2015, 01:07:16 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 07 July, 2015, 01:31:17 pm
When I started college we could get a pint of Boddington's for 9p in the catholic club.
When I started drinking in the Catholic club the priest bought the Guinness as we were all too young to buy alcohol. Junior Knights of St Columba, it was worth the religious lecture for the Guinness and snooker afterwords, plus it made my Mum happy.
Post by: contango on 07 July, 2015, 04:52:03 pm
Thanks to Arby's just off I-81 in Virginia for serving me the most disgusting looking BLT I've seen in my life. It would be better described as a MBMLMTTMMM, i.e. mayonnaise, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomato, tomato, mayonnaise, mayonnaise and mayonnaise. Seriously, think of the Monty Python spam sketch and swap spam for mayonnaise and you've got the idea. I hate mayonnaise, and hate tomato even more. Not only that the whole thing was stone cold.
What made the matter even worse was that I'd ordered the roast beef sandwich, and only discovered the surprise ingredients far enough up the interstate that I really couldn't be bothered to turn around and go back. It's like the burger chain who had the motto "you got it", which was particularly annoying when you got 10 miles up the road to find you hadn't got it at all.
Apparently one of Arby's "guest liaison operatives" will be in touch shortly to "make it right".
Post by: ian on 07 July, 2015, 05:57:36 pm
Americans also think the antidote to bacon is mayonnaise. Or rather, processed egg food product, because it's just goo that oozes everywhere and causes your sandwich to slide apart so you end up with a Fistful of Meat. To confuse my Clint references, do you feel lucky? Well, evidently if you're going to Arby's.
Note that the world can go backwards on I-81, there's a section where you can both be going north on 81 and south on I-77 at the same time. Possible that can turn beef into bacon. Which is like the reverse of Creeping Sharia.
*Not that it's real bacon (up-thead passim).
Post by: L CC on 07 July, 2015, 10:08:59 pm
MBMLMTTMMM, i.e. mayonnaise, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomato, tomato, mayonnaise, mayonnaise and mayonnaise. Seriously, think of the Monty Python spam sketch and swap spam for mayonnaise and you've got the idea. I hate mayonnaise, and hate tomato even more. Not only that the whole thing was stone cold.*drool*
Post by: contango on 07 July, 2015, 10:59:29 pm
Americans get awfully confused when you order actual bacon, given that bacon is the Universal American Seasoning and as such they were probably going to add it anyway. That's bacon with bacon. There's a danger of an exponential bacon* situation. It's not a sandwich, but potentially a swirling vortex of porcine destruction. I didn't, to be honest, think that an American food place could put too little bacon on something. Not even Arby's We Have The Meats™ (seriously, they trademarked that).
This particular Arby's got confused on the basis I didn't order bacon but they provided me with some anyway. It looked like it probably came from a Real Pig at some point. It had obviously been a while since it had been warmer than room temperature.
Quote
Americans also think the antidote to bacon is mayonnaise. Or rather, processed egg food product, because it's just goo that oozes everywhere and causes your sandwich to slide apart so you end up with a Fistful of Meat. To confuse my Clint references, do you feel lucky? Well, evidently if you're going to Arby's.
The mayonnaise did rather remind me of the cheese sauce that appears in some products. The one (and so far only, by design) time I tasted it I had to conclude it had never had anything to do with a cow. Unless perhaps some beef fat had been ground up into the mix somewhere to make it
I must admit I rather like Arby's roast beef sandwiches, as long as they don't come with the cheese-like sauce (disclaimer: may not contain any actual cheese). I tried it once, and eating it while driving was an experience I don't care to repeat. Not only did the cheese-like-sauce taste decidedly unpleasant, its hugely lubricant properties meant it might have been easier to accept the inevitable and dump the whole thing in my lap. On reflection I could probably have used it to grease my wheel bearings, or maybe dropped it on the interstate to get the asshat who thought 3 feet was a suitable following distance at 70mph to rethink. When you just get a bread roll and enough roast beef that you need to disengage your jaws like a snake to eat it at all it's strangely pleasing, even if a little tricky to deal with one-handed on the interstate. Thankfully many miles of interstate contains very little Actual Traffic so for most of it you could weave freely across all three lanes and be very unlikely to hit anything. If you drift too far you hit the rumble strips that make a sound not unlike what I'd expect my stomach would have made had I attempted to eat the abominable Not Roast Beef Sandwiches.
Quote
Note that the world can go backwards on I-81, there's a section where you can both be going north on 81 and south on I-77 at the same time. Possible that can turn beef into bacon. Which is like the reverse of Creeping Sharia.
With the way one road can have multiple numbers I can see how that isn't as stupid as it might first appear (I looked, and joined I-81 at one end of the section you describe. Whether it was the north end or the south end is unclear...). It might be interesting to drive it the other way and see if bacon and endless mayonnaise-like-goo turned back into beef. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown them in the trash. It's going to be a few months before I'm driving that route again, but from the sight of the Not Roast Beef Sandwiches I wonder whether any of the ingredients would have gone bad by then.
Post by: contango on 07 July, 2015, 11:11:20 pm
MBMLMTTMMM, i.e. mayonnaise, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomato, tomato, mayonnaise, mayonnaise and mayonnaise. Seriously, think of the Monty Python spam sketch and swap spam for mayonnaise and you've got the idea. I hate mayonnaise, and hate tomato even more. Not only that the whole thing was stone cold.*drool*
If you're quick they may still be in the trash can at Arby's, at an exit around mile marker 313 on I-81.
I would say they'll be cold by now but they weren't exactly piping hot yesterday. If they've been left outside in the Virginia heat they'll have warmed up a little.
Post by: contango on 08 July, 2015, 02:58:31 am
Well, the rather grandiose-sounding Guest Support Assistant from Arby's didn't get back in touch yet.
I hope this isn't the end of Arby's being the preferred pit stop on a long drive, the other options are all lacking in their own ways. When we drove the other way we stopped at a Hardees (needing fuel and there not being an Arby's nearby) and the exchange with the assistant trying to find something on the menu that wasn't smothered in sauces was interesting. I say "interesting" as an alternative to "so annoying I wanted to strangle her".
I asked what they had available that wasn't smothered in sauces, and she explained that their burgers came with ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. So I asked if they had anything that didn't come with ketchup, mustard or mayonnaise. She suggested the small cheeseburger. I asked what it came with, and she explained that it came with ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. So I repeated my question more slowly, stressing that I didn't want any of those things on my food.
After a few rounds she said that they could do a small cheeseburger without the sauces, so I opted for that. They could probably have done anything without the sauces, but by then I was losing the will to live and struggling with the desire to feed the assistant into the meat grinder, so I settled for the small cheeseburger. When she said "small" she wasn't kidding. I didn't think they did small portions this side of the Atlantic but that cheeseburger was small.
On the plus side, it was a cheeseburger just how I requested it. On the other hand, for crying out loud, how many times do I have to tell some dimwit that when I don't want ketchup or mustard or mayonnaise it's not helpful to keep pointing me at things that come with all of those? At least she got the order right, and my mayonnaise-free burger didn't come with enough congealed white goo to sink a battleship.
Post by: ian on 08 July, 2015, 08:34:00 am
You have reminded me that getting them to hold the mayonnaise is near impossible. The have someone in the back with the gloop cannon. Because they don't put butter on sandwiches, they feel an obligation to hose it down with processed egg food product and then complement it with slices of processed cheese food product. The result congeals into some novel kind of matter. I like the cheese food, but not the processed egg food. The worse thing about the faux-mayo is that it's sweet and I swear it gets sweeter the further south you go. Eventually, somewhere on the Georgia border they find they can't make mayo any sweeter, so they just start slapping bbq sauce on everything. That's just melted sugar and some chemical byproduct of the linoleum manufacturing process. By the time you get to Alabama they've started to fry the entire concoction and sprinkle it with sugar before they serve. They'll probably opt to roll it in maple syrup-style product to ensure the sugar sticks.
It's one of those American weirdnesses that you can order a salad and ask for it without lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and with the dressing on the side, and it'll come just like that. Ask for a sandwich without congealed sludge and they're calling Homeland Security.
Post by: Tigerrr on 08 July, 2015, 06:08:12 pm
Post by: spesh on 09 July, 2015, 01:03:10 am
Now, when is Man vs Food back on Freeview? ;D
Post by: contango on 09 July, 2015, 04:08:59 am
I do sort of like American sandwiches. That entire dislocate your jaw like you're a human anaconda to try and fit it in, and then you give up, and start to anatomize it, pulling out its innards and building an entire different meal. Americans just look at you. You can't fit that in your mouth? There's a joke in there, one you shouldn't make if you're sitting opposite your girlfriend's parents for the first time. Apparently.
It is rather curious to be presented with a sandwich you can only just fit in your mouth, do battle with it, valiantly defeat it, only to realise your revelling in the Man Vs Meat Sandwich Defeat doesn't count for anything because you only ate the medium and there's a size bigger. Sometimes there are two sizes bigger. Seriously, you'd need two normal sized people just to eat a single sandwich in some of these places.
I remember a bagel shop in Manhatten I visited with three other people. We ordered our bagels, I saw the guy with the meat slicer doing his funky stuff with what looked like most of a pig, and he cut up a stack of ham. I figured that made sense, since there were four of us and we'd all ordered bagels with ham in them. Then he put the entire stack of ham in one bagel and started slicing some more. The bagel was then passed to someone else who repeated the process with cheese (proper sliced cheese, not the semi-liquid gloop that may have been within 50 feet of a cow but only by accident).
I suppose if you want to maintain an existence in which you weigh more than your SUV you need to take some serious calories on board and regularly, but aside from the Small Cheeseburger at Hardees it is remarkable just how many options exist out there that don't include a starter that those on the eastern side of the ocean wouldn't regard as a main course fit for two.
Quote
You have reminded me that getting them to hold the mayonnaise is near impossible. The have someone in the back with the gloop cannon. Because they don't put butter on sandwiches, they feel an obligation to hose it down with processed egg food product and then complement it with slices of processed cheese food product. The result congeals into some novel kind of matter. I like the cheese food, but not the processed egg food. The worse thing about the faux-mayo is that it's sweet and I swear it gets sweeter the further south you go. Eventually, somewhere on the Georgia border they find they can't make mayo any sweeter, so they just start slapping bbq sauce on everything. That's just melted sugar and some chemical byproduct of the linoleum manufacturing process. By the time you get to Alabama they've started to fry the entire concoction and sprinkle it with sugar before they serve. They'll probably opt to roll it in maple syrup-style product to ensure the sugar sticks.
Generally I've never had problems getting people to hold stuff, even if they do think I'm weird for it. The not-very-assistive-assistant at Hardees managed to cope with my order for a cheeseburger without ketchup or mustard or mayonnaise, although she looked as if she couldn't comprehend why anyone would want a burger you could actually taste because it wasn't covered with goop.
Most things get sweeter the further south you go. Iced tea is no exception. I order unsweetened tea here in Pennsylvania (most of the way north towards Canada) and aside from a few waitresses who ask if I want sweeteners with it (hint: if I wanted it sweet I'd have ordered the sweet tea), whereas once you get as far south as, say, the Carolinas it's debatable whether unsweetened tea is something you can mention in polite company at all. I wouldn't be surprised if the folks in Alabama shoot anyone who wants unsweet tea.
Quote
It's one of those American weirdnesses that you can order a salad and ask for it without lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and with the dressing on the side, and it'll come just like that. Ask for a sandwich without congealed sludge and they're calling Homeland Security.
Ah yes, the dressing on the side option. Highly advisable if you ordered the ranch dressing and don't want your green salad to contain 5,000 calories. I swear this is the only country where eating a salad can give you enough calories to see you through a hilly 300. It's still not as bad as the caramel dip you can buy in little tubs. The ingredients are essentially sugar, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, and you really don't want to read any further. It's hugely sweet, among the sweetest things I've ever tasted, and it makes ranch dressing look like a low calorie option.
ETA: On another note, the Guest Support Assistant from Arby's called today. It turned out to be the general manager of the branch that so royally screwed up my order, desperately apologetic that his staff had got my order wrong and ruined my afternoon (his words, mine were much less dramatic and much more sarcastic). He's going to send me some Arby's vouchers and said if I'm passing through again ask for him and he'll fix me up with two free combo meals. So complaining, although somewhat therapeutic, wasn't a wasted effort. The nearest Arby's is about 15 miles from here, but conveniently just opposite where one of my wholesale customers is based.
Post by: Poly Hive on 09 July, 2015, 07:00:03 am
Now I was "brought up" on books which described the cheesecakes of NY as the ultimate experience in that field.
I can assure you not so at all. They were tiny. I ask you tiny flat cheese cake in NY and it tasted rubbish. *sighs* What a let down.
OTOH it is true that if in doubt look for the cop eating, a sure sign of quality and so it proved. We took the subway to Brooklyn and got off at the terminus, which we did for every borough BTW, and there were very few places to eat but in a tiny little place there was the proverbial bobby stuffing his face.. and the pizza there was just awesome one of the greatest eating experiences or our lives. Seriously!
PH
Post by: ian on 09 July, 2015, 10:05:25 am
I also like the filling quotient of American sandwiches. They slice up an entire animal. In the UK, we've manage a single slice one molecule thick. An average British ham sandwich would, to any American, be vegetarian. Our fillings are practically homeopathic.
I was once terrorised outside Richmond by a huge waitress who insisted I had to have sweet tea. She wouldn't let me have it unsweetened. Seriously. She stood over me and watched me drink it while my girlfriend sniggered. Till she fell under the gaze. You too, sweetcheeks. (I think she might have actually said 'sweetcheeks'.) Every time we took a sip she'd get us a new refill. We had to visit every rest stop on I-73, not just to relieve ourselves but to run around in mad circles trying to expend the sugar rush. If you've seen the episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Milhouse hit the neat slushie syrup, you'll know the sensation.
A proper NY baked cheesecake is hard to find, but worth it. There's a place in Boerum Hill that serves baked slices of heaven and they put a dollop of proper ice cream on top just in case you're running a calorie deficit. The cop thing is a good tip, they're good at detecting handsome calories. A friend of mine is in the LAPD and he took us for ride in his police cruiser and anyway, we pull up in South Central by a group of heavily tattooed Hispanic gang stereotypes who all start giving us the eye. We then have to push through this crowd being very British, wielding Mac-10s of sorry, to find a grubby looking van serving what the people of Hackney call 'street food'. I got a burrito about the same size as a body wrapped in a carpet. And bless my gut, if it wasn't the most awesomely filthy burrito ever. I was in spicy, meaty, cheesy heaven.
Post by: noisycrank on 09 July, 2015, 11:31:52 am
http://www.snack-girl.com/snack/hellmanns-olive-oil-mayonnaise/ (http://www.snack-girl.com/snack/hellmanns-olive-oil-mayonnaise/)
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 July, 2015, 12:43:44 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 09 July, 2015, 12:46:42 pm
You may kill me now.
Making mayonnaise is one of the first things Mum taught me.
Our family has lived on mayo for longer than I can remember (but I didn't know what chips were till I was eight).
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 July, 2015, 01:01:53 pm
Post by: ian on 09 July, 2015, 01:39:30 pm
Salad cream though, that's where it at. You want haute cuisine, the kind that kicks a garcon in the balls, then two slices of thin sliced bread, a pack a ready salted crisps, and a bottle of salad cream is all you need.
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 July, 2015, 02:24:03 pm
Post by: Pingu on 09 July, 2015, 02:24:35 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 09 July, 2015, 03:24:16 pm
Salad cream is absolutely foul :sick:
Cop spotting as a destination decider is a reasonable tactic but, for dogs sake, don't rely on it over here. Many a young copper nowdays thinks MaccyDees is top nosh :sick:
Back in my day, copper spotting was how you identified the ultimate filthy kebab van :thumbsup:
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 09 July, 2015, 03:35:24 pm
Salad cream though, that's where it at. You want haute cuisine, the kind that kicks a garcon in the balls, then two slices of thin sliced bread, a pack a ready salted crisps, and a bottle of salad cream is all you need.Add some lurid cheese and I'm right there with you.
Mayonnaise is demon semen, and not in a good way. Heinz Salad Cream (and it's vomity cousin, Sandwich Spread) is 99 kinds of delicious.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 July, 2015, 03:39:56 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 July, 2015, 04:30:42 pm
Post by: contango on 09 July, 2015, 04:40:38 pm
My bigest dissapointment in New York was Cheesecake.
Now I was "brought up" on books which described the cheesecakes of NY as the ultimate experience in that field.
I can assure you not so at all. They were tiny. I ask you tiny flat cheese cake in NY and it tasted rubbish. *sighs* What a let down.
OTOH it is true that if in doubt look for the cop eating, a sure sign of quality and so it proved. We took the subway to Brooklyn and got off at the terminus, which we did for every borough BTW, and there were very few places to eat but in a tiny little place there was the proverbial bobby stuffing his face.. and the pizza there was just awesome one of the greatest eating experiences or our lives. Seriously!
PH
I think of New York Cheesecake as the kind of thing everybody raves about and that tastes great, as long as you haven't tasted cheesecake. Kind of like McDonalds tastes great if you've never eaten, well, anything other than McDonalds. It has a style of its own, just like the nondescript white goo smothered over burgers has a style of its own. Having had "New York cheesecake" everywhere from tiny little hick towns in the back end of nowhere, to New York City itself, my conclusion is that it's overrated.
I have had some pretty good food in NYC, but the cheesecake wasn't it.
Post by: hellymedic on 09 July, 2015, 05:14:10 pm
Sandwich Spread is not merely vomit, it is bile. You can tell by the acidity.
<pedant>
Bile is alkaline
Sandwich spread is acidic
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 July, 2015, 05:18:25 pm
Post by: ian on 10 July, 2015, 09:37:45 am
The look on his face as took the first mouthful – 'ugh mayonn...' he spits 'but it's off...'
It was salad cream, of course. He lacks the sophisticated palette of us Europeans. My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
Post by: L CC on 10 July, 2015, 11:43:38 am
I am salivating at these descriptions of sandwiches. The idea of endless bacon bits in a sea of cheesy mayo with some sort of basic food elements hidden in there really gets my juices flowing. I suspect I may be a closet american.+ many
Post by: ian on 10 July, 2015, 11:51:26 am
Of bacon.
Post by: L CC on 10 July, 2015, 12:08:54 pm
Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.(http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/b/b4/Homer_drool.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20100923210150)
Of bacon.
Post by: Kim on 10 July, 2015, 01:35:16 pm
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
+1
Post by: tiermat on 10 July, 2015, 01:56:38 pm
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
+1
Agreed, but Hellamans et al contain a bare minimum of egg product, the majority of the volume being water.
Post by: hellymedic on 10 July, 2015, 02:52:11 pm
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
+1
Agreed, but Hellamans et al contain a bare minimum of egg product, the majority of the volume being water.
Hellman's Real (as opposed to Light or Stupid Light) Mayonnaise has more Calories per gram than butter.
There's very little water in it; it's mostly cheap vegetable oil.
What else could you expect from Unilever?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 July, 2015, 03:44:11 pm
Post by: L CC on 10 July, 2015, 04:17:30 pm
Nectar of the Gods.
(click to show/hide)
Post by: hellymedic on 10 July, 2015, 05:19:43 pm
I always posted that I liked Hellman's.
I might be sad enough to know its Calorie count.
I appreciate not everyone likes it.
That is true of any comestible.
Post by: contango on 10 July, 2015, 05:52:33 pm
Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.
Of bacon.
To follow fboab, only in America can you get a salad that Homer Simpson would order.
Post by: Kim on 10 July, 2015, 06:02:41 pm
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)
Post by: Oaky on 10 July, 2015, 06:03:51 pm
ETA: mind you one of the bars there serves a burger-based comestible called the Steelworker. Two burger patties with macaroni cheese sandwiched between them, wrapped in bacon, battered and deep-fried. I never did try one of those - I'm not sure the medical cover on our travel insurance was up to it anyway.
Post by: barakta on 10 July, 2015, 08:45:06 pm
And better still I was able to stop them putting their own weird sauces on it and use my own (refrigerated) mayo and unrefrigerated ketchup. *YUM*
Post by: Jaded on 10 July, 2015, 08:55:26 pm
I had something else instead.
In The US and A once I put on half a stone in a week. So decided to have a salad. The plate was about 15" wide and the whole massive pyramid of dressing-drenched green would have collapsed if one extra bit of crunchy bacon had been put on the top.
Post by: contango on 11 July, 2015, 05:04:57 am
I also like the filling quotient of American sandwiches. They slice up an entire animal. In the UK, we've manage a single slice one molecule thick. An average British ham sandwich would, to any American, be vegetarian. Our fillings are practically homeopathic.
I remember a comedy act some years ago talking of the man who managed to cut a human hair into 16 separate and identifiable strands, and how after he retired he was put in charge of slicing the ham for British Rail sandwiches. In the UK a ham sandwich usually has a barely discernible slice of something that's kind of pink. In the US a ham sandwich has half a pig in it. There's no mistaking that it's got ham in it.
Quote
I was once terrorised outside Richmond by a huge waitress who insisted I had to have sweet tea. She wouldn't let me have it unsweetened. Seriously. She stood over me and watched me drink it while my girlfriend sniggered. Till she fell under the gaze. You too, sweetcheeks. (I think she might have actually said 'sweetcheeks'.) Every time we took a sip she'd get us a new refill. We had to visit every rest stop on I-73, not just to relieve ourselves but to run around in mad circles trying to expend the sugar rush. If you've seen the episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Milhouse hit the neat slushie syrup, you'll know the sensation.
I was served sweet tea by a waiter in South Carolina, I suspect to thwart my efforts to eat the toreados he served me. Sadly it worked, the sugar rush combined with the heat of the toreados put paid to my desire to defeat them.
Quote
A proper NY baked cheesecake is hard to find, but worth it. There's a place in Boerum Hill that serves baked slices of heaven and they put a dollop of proper ice cream on top just in case you're running a calorie deficit. The cop thing is a good tip, they're good at detecting handsome calories. A friend of mine is in the LAPD and he took us for ride in his police cruiser and anyway, we pull up in South Central by a group of heavily tattooed Hispanic gang stereotypes who all start giving us the eye. We then have to push through this crowd being very British, wielding Mac-10s of sorry, to find a grubby looking van serving what the people of Hackney call 'street food'. I got a burrito about the same size as a body wrapped in a carpet. And bless my gut, if it wasn't the most awesomely filthy burrito ever. I was in spicy, meaty, cheesy heaven.
I just don't rate New York cheesecake but know what you mean about burritos. When you need a second person to carry it away you know you're in USAnia.
Post by: ian on 12 July, 2015, 06:48:39 pm
And ye god, wraps. Order a deli wrap in a NYC deli. That's a wrap. A thin bit of bread making a valiant effort to restrain a riot of ingredients. In the UK at least half the wrap is literally just folded bread with no filling at all. Just dry stodge that eventually mixes with enough saliva to coat your teeth like house render.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 July, 2015, 03:55:21 am
Post by: contango on 13 July, 2015, 04:18:08 am
I do wonder how Pret do in the US – they're sprouting around New York. I confess I've never been in one on the grounds it seems a bit pointless as every other shop in London that isn't an Eat or similar is a Pret (I've been in the Nandos in DC though, just because). Do they do the homeopathically underfilled brit sandwiches or do they say fuck it, slice the whole damn pig and order another truck load of avocado. I've seen Americans peel apart a brit sandwich and the look of disappointment that slowly curdles on their face is priceless. 'This is it?' those forlorn faces say as they appraise a lonely sliver of ham, so thin it looks like it was cut on an ultramicrotome. I just nod knowingly. We have, as a race, suffered at the hands of our tyrannical and misery sandwich overlords. It's the entire class system. You can bet whatever the Earl of Sandwich first slammed between two slices of bread, it had the kind of substantial weight that would been admired even by a blimp-sized family of mid-westerners.
And ye god, wraps. Order a deli wrap in a NYC deli. That's a wrap. A thin bit of bread making a valiant effort to restrain a riot of ingredients. In the UK at least half the wrap is literally just folded bread with no filling at all. Just dry stodge that eventually mixes with enough saliva to coat your teeth like house render.
Can't say I've seen a Pret in the US yet, but then I don't care much for NYC (I find it much like London but noisier and dirtier).
I recently visited a chain called Jersey Mike's for a sub. I went for the small version - the "big kahuna cheesesteak". It's a good job it came wrapped in silver foil because the thing was big enough it was hard to eat without the filling falling out all over the place. If I'd tried to eat the large version (twice the size of the small one, and about two-thirds more expensive) I'd probably have been there a week later still digesting it. Maybe the whole theory of evolution is wrong and snakes really evolved from humans having figured out they only need one meal at an American food outlet, taking the time to digest it over a week or more rather than crapping it out the next day only to repeat the process and end up weighing more than their SUV.
In the UK I found Pret sandwiches to be mostly eatable (I say eatable rather than edible, due to the way some sandwich companies offerings were eatable in the sense that you could put them in your mouth and chew and swallow them but I struggle to see why anyone would choose to do such a thing let alone pay money for the privilege). Wraps were another matter. If you order the "chicken salad wrap" you can be sure that the cut ends will show succulent hunks of chicken breast. Bite into it and you'll find the hunks of chicken breast are carefully shaped to look about four times the size they really are, and the rest of the wrap is filled with limp lettuce.
Still, at least it isn't a Tesco style sandwich where what you can see is a bucketload of white gunge with the promised ingredients hiding in miniscule quantities and the shape is such that it's clear you get a couple of tiny pieces of chicken and the rest of it is just bread padded out with white gunge.
Post by: ian on 13 July, 2015, 11:05:46 am
Anyway, some cheesesteaks are now so big that they can be mistaken for a small nuclear submarine. Admittedly, one after a bizarre Cheez Whiz accident. And no, I'm not saying anything bad about Cheez Whiz because I love processed cheese food products. Plus I think the cold war would have been a lot more interesting if they'd swapped nuclear weapons for food products. Imagine it the Americans had coated Moscow in Cheez Whiz. The Russians could have retaliated by turning the Potomac rubescent with a carefully deployed burst of borscht followed up by a cabbage-related offensive up the coast. Before you know it, Twinkies would have been falling from Leningrad to Volgograd and Hostess Cakes would have been bigger than Lockheed Martin.
But yes, British supermarket sandwiches. If there's any meal that epitomises disappointment, it's there, on the shelves of a high street. It's no wonder Pret and the like get away with £5 sandwiches when the alternative is a couple of limp slices of bread uneasily caressing a minimal amount of filling that's been embedded in a tomb of glutinous mayonnaise for about seven days. The whole thing tastes of sticky nothing enlivened by occasional cryptic changes in texture.
Post by: geraldc on 13 July, 2015, 11:36:19 am
With HK, they were explaining that it's people who don't want to waste their lunch time, queuing for a space in cafe/restaurant. Or girls on a diet. The single sandwich, in its tiny triangle box sells very well in Hong Kong.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 July, 2015, 01:24:31 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 July, 2015, 03:25:09 pm
Post by: ian on 13 July, 2015, 05:00:14 pm
The benefit of the overfilled sandwich is that it's nicely layered and you can mine the filling to build a couple of meaty side salads to accompany your now more modest sandwich. You can't go the other way, not even Jesus can turn a solitary slice of processed and reformed ham into anything worthwhile, never mind construct a couple of extra meals out of it. And I'm sorry, Pret, but really a NY club sandwich with three (THREE!) slices of pastrami wouldn't even be allowed. They'd get Bob Geldof to organize a benefit gig for that sandwich.
I'm surprised China isn't full of Prets (Google says there's one in Shanghai), bready goodness is a bit of a novelty. I think Subways are popping up.
Post by: hellymedic on 13 July, 2015, 07:36:23 pm
Kid Brother's sandwiches from Mum seemed popular enough for Kid Brother to be able to sell them to supplement his pocket money.
Kid Brother's (then) 4 year old daughter disassembled tuna sandwich, inserted lettuce from sandwich tray garnish and reassembled sandwich at nephew's wedding reception Ooop North.
Post by: contango on 14 July, 2015, 01:46:06 am
There's always a low grade cheesesteak war going on along the eastern seaboard (believe me, don't even engage a Philadelphian in this discussion, it'll go on for hours and pull in half the neighbourhood) a good part of which is size. Size is very important to Americans. I feel for American womanhood, who upon engaging in bedroom activities with the man of their choice, are forever cursed with the knowledge that they've held a sandwich far bigger than that earlier in the day. Even American men, when they look down, must think the same, that that's no sandwich.
There's certainly some good stuff and some less good stuff out there. When it's called a Philadelphia Cheesesteak it's probably not a good idea to insult it too openly in Philadelphia. It would seem like going to Champagne and telling them their fizzy wine stinks. Size certainly matters, and what you do with it makes little difference as most of it will fall out over the table anyway. And that's before you get onto the sandwiches...
Quote
Anyway, some cheesesteaks are now so big that they can be mistaken for a small nuclear submarine. Admittedly, one after a bizarre Cheez Whiz accident. And no, I'm not saying anything bad about Cheez Whiz because I love processed cheese food products. Plus I think the cold war would have been a lot more interesting if they'd swapped nuclear weapons for food products. Imagine it the Americans had coated Moscow in Cheez Whiz. The Russians could have retaliated by turning the Potomac rubescent with a carefully deployed burst of borscht followed up by a cabbage-related offensive up the coast. Before you know it, Twinkies would have been falling from Leningrad to Volgograd and Hostess Cakes would have been bigger than Lockheed Martin.
I like white American cheese (aka plastic cheese) but really struggle with Cheez Whiz. It just doesn't taste anything like cheese to me. At least the highly processed and perfectly formed white American cheese tastes like part of it came from a cow whereas Cheez Whiz tastes like it never went anywhere near a cow, except perhaps by accident. Maybe the cows got a little closer than expected to the fence beside the interstate as the truck went past. It's hard to see it being any closer than 100 yards to a cow.
A food war between the US and USSR (as was) could have been interesting. A former tactic in war was to dump vast amounts of forged currency with a view to crashing the currency. If the US had dumped vast stockpiles of Twinkies and Tasty Kake products all over Russia they could have made the Russians so fat they wouldn't fit into their military vehicles and won by default. A generous dumping of Cheez Whiz would made the area glow in the dark in a way Chernobyl could only imagine.
Quote
But yes, British supermarket sandwiches. If there's any meal that epitomises disappointment, it's there, on the shelves of a high street. It's no wonder Pret and the like get away with £5 sandwiches when the alternative is a couple of limp slices of bread uneasily caressing a minimal amount of filling that's been embedded in a tomb of glutinous mayonnaise for about seven days. The whole thing tastes of sticky nothing enlivened by occasional cryptic changes in texture.
Yes, the "disappointment in a wrapper" product. At least with McDonalds you know you're buying something that isn't going to be great, but the way supermarkets present their sandwiches you'd think you're getting a decent amount of filling, only to realise that the two chunky pieces of chicken you see facing you are the only two pieces of chicken in a sea of tasteless gunge.
Post by: contango on 14 July, 2015, 01:46:47 am
I like sandwiches with only a modest filling. The idea of half a cow between 2 bits of bread doesn't do it for me at all.
I have to say I agree with you. I'd rather just eat the half cow, save the bread for someone else.
Post by: ian on 14 July, 2015, 08:39:07 am
Post by: fuzzy on 14 July, 2015, 11:44:34 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 July, 2015, 12:02:42 pm
I gave the entire cold war via food thing a good think last night. I have to say that there is no way ever that cabbage can beat Twinkies. The USSR was doomed from the start.
There's an old joke which goes something like:
Comrade General Stakhanov: Our soldiers of glorious Red Army get 3000 calories food a day!
General Dieselburger III: That's nothing, boy! Uncle Sam's boys get 5000 calories a day!
Comrade General Stakhanov: Is nonsense! No man can eat whole sack of potato in twenty-four hours!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 July, 2015, 06:00:12 pm
What I did not see is that there is no longer a ring-pull wossname under the screw cap.
(Wipes juice off trousers)
Fuckers >:(
Post by: Basil on 14 July, 2015, 08:20:22 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Bloke_on_a_bike/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_20150714_125624_zps6d1fc8b7.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/Bloke_on_a_bike/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_20150714_125624_zps6d1fc8b7.jpg.html)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 July, 2015, 02:56:55 pm
:sick:
Post by: contango on 16 July, 2015, 04:42:54 pm
Have to thank the makers of tinned Cullen Skink soup for their "new recipe".
For those not familiar with it, it's essentially a fish soup. The new recipe added a load of boiled onion.
So the headline might have been written "New Fish Soup Recipe, now with less fish". Gee, thanks.
Post by: Pingu on 16 July, 2015, 08:25:23 pm
Quote from: wikipedia
Cullen skink is a thick Scottish soup made of smoked haddock, potatoes and onions.
The exact quantities may vary as does the use of milk or cream.
Waits
Post by: jsabine on 16 July, 2015, 11:12:25 pm
Waits
Tom?
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 17 July, 2015, 08:00:29 pm
I bought a mangosteen today....they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
Is nshima like ugali? If so, unlucky you! Like polenta but without so much as the appealing colour.I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
Never eaten mangosteen?
Yup, same stuff as you find throughout Africa, pap whatever. White polenta. Very bland. I tried to spice it up with an indelicate helping of sauce. If you'd ever had nali sauce, you'll know why this wasn't such a good idea. The best one was in Ghana once where the chef made a fish shape out of it and then stuck a fried fish head on the end. Et voilà, le poisson. Never figured out what happened to the rest of the fish. I'm not generally a fan of fish heads.
You know, I don't think I have eaten a mangosteen. But I'm really having a strong impression of a mango bursting out with Born in the USA.
Post by: contango on 17 July, 2015, 11:26:24 pm
Quote from: wikipediaCullen skink is a thick Scottish soup made of smoked haddock, potatoes and onions.
The exact quantities may vary as does the use of milk or cream.
It's still hard to see who thinks a soup is improved by the addition of copious amounts of boiled onion. Although if the soup in question had been French Onion soup I'd have given them a pass on it. Even if the soup is supposed to be made with onion it's a seriously lame way of cheaping out to just load another couple of dozen onions into it while taking fish away. It's like biting into a steak and onion pie to find it contains a plateful of boiled onion and a couple of small bits of steak. There's steak in it and there's onion in it so it's technically a "steak and onion" pie but, you know.... It's like saying Starbucks serves coffee and pays taxes. Except it isn't even like that, because Starbucks seems tragically bad at either of those things. How about saying Amazon sells books and pays taxes.
In the meantime, another visit to Jersey Mike's sub shop resulted in not only half a cow between the two pieces of bread but also enough lettuce to keep the local farmers in business. Just when I thought they couldn't possibly put anything else in it, on went some onion, pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers and probably some other stuff they snuck in while I wasn't looking.
Either way it tasted awesome, and gave my jaw muscles more of a workout than they've had since, well, the last time we were at Jersey Mike's trying to eat the Big Kahuna Cheesesteak Sub.
Post by: Clare on 18 July, 2015, 07:53:10 am
Post by: contango on 18 July, 2015, 07:07:44 pm
B&B owners - two gulps does not a tea make. Please to be supplying a mug sized object.
Better still, given teabags aren't exactly expensive when compared to the cost of an overnight stay, how about the freedom to drink lots of tea for those that want it?
It really is the equivalent of the poncey pubs that serve "a portion of chips" when you can count the chips without even looking at them individually. Potatoes aren't expensive, and a mountain of chips gives the impression of good value whereas getting four chips gives the impression of being shafted.
Post by: contango on 21 July, 2015, 09:59:08 pm
Not so much a rant as a comment about portion sizes.
I took the bike out today to explore a few trails. On the way back I mysteriously veered off the road towards an ice cream vendor. I made the mistake of ordering the medium ice cream, which would have counted as something beyond extra large in any UK cafe. I'm sure I aged noticeably in the time it took to eat the leviathan.
Rumours abound regarding the fate of the last person to order the jumbo ice cream. Legend has it that upon being served the ice cream promptly underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole, sucking in the unfortunate customer. I'm not sure if that's true but it could explain why the outlet in question seems to change hands every few years.
Post by: ian on 22 July, 2015, 09:34:33 am
At least there was bread. Say you want about our European neighbours, they've not entirely sunk into barbarity and understand that a meal should have a structure. I'll be honest, the best thing about our Gallic chums is the bread. I could go there for just breakfast. I can eat about eighteen baguettes in a single sitting.
All serves me right for going to an Italian restaurant in France. Made it all right with an epic Lyonnaise salad the next evening. There was enough pig in that to please even an American.
Yeah, the US ice cream portion thing. I once ordered some kind of sundae in Chicago which involved umpteen flavours of ice cream and all kinds of add-ins topped with several gallons of whipped cream. It really was something. My wife had to help carry it to the table. It wasn't even the large size. The two of us couldn't finish it. They say it takes a village. It would have done to finish that portion.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 July, 2015, 07:55:43 pm
Post by: contango on 24 July, 2015, 05:38:49 am
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 July, 2015, 07:35:58 am
Post by: ian on 24 July, 2015, 10:03:14 am
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
In a small town off the Potomac the other year we had a pleasant meal in a nice restaurant off the main street. They served Chimay by the pint (I want to say Blue, but I suspect given the amount imbibed and the fact that I didn't try to swim the Potomac, that it was Red). It wasn't in the right glass though.
I remember the first time I was in the US, going to a party and drinking (with a friend) an entire case of MGD to no effect other than my spending a lot of time queuing to use the toilet.
Post by: Efrogwr on 24 July, 2015, 12:11:41 pm
Post by: contango on 24 July, 2015, 08:22:10 pm
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
In a small town off the Potomac the other year we had a pleasant meal in a nice restaurant off the main street. They served Chimay by the pint (I want to say Blue, but I suspect given the amount imbibed and the fact that I didn't try to swim the Potomac, that it was Red). It wasn't in the right glass though.
I remember the first time I was in the US, going to a party and drinking (with a friend) an entire case of MGD to no effect other than my spending a lot of time queuing to use the toilet.
It's odd, some of what passes for beer here is shockingly tragic. I struggled to avoid the social awkwardness associated with a friend serving Pabst Blue Ribbon a couple of weeks ago so took a can out of politeness. He's normally into craft beer (used to brew extensively himself) and every once in a while buys cheap rubbish to clear his palate and remind him of why he pays more for good stuff.
Then on the other hand you've got things like the Dogfish Head Theobroma beer I bought recently that comes in 750ml bottles and is about 9% abv. After a gallon of whatever it was I mentioned previously I'd have been perfectly OK to drive home (I didn't, but I have no doubt I could have done) but after a single bottle of Theobroma you won't want to be driving any time soon. Then you've got things like Stone beers - their Double Bastard Ale comes in a 22oz bottle and is about 11.6%abv, RuinTen is a massively hopped triple IPA that also comes in a 22oz bottle and isn't far shy of 11% abv, and so on.
It's strange to think that a single bottle of beer could leave you over the limit for driving for several hours, while other beer seems to make abominations like Kaliber look like they represent debauchery.
Post by: ian on 24 July, 2015, 09:03:16 pm
I've always assumed the piss weak US beers were orientated around the need to drive. I don't think it's possible to drink enough MGD to fail a field sobriety test. The only danger is that if takes too long you'll start pissing like a out-of-control sprinkler attachment which could make you stumble off the straight line.
Post by: contango on 25 July, 2015, 05:25:19 am
If you get the chance, go to Stone's brew restaurant place in Escondido.
Sadly I'm pretty much diagonally opposite them as far as the US is concerned. If I were even remotely close to it I'd certainly swing by, I've enjoyed almost every single one of their beers I've ever tried. The ones that fell flat weren't beers I disliked, just not beers I liked enough to buy again.
Quote
We got chatting with someone in authority there, had a fine evening, and when we got back to the UK there was a big case of beer waiting. Being English has its perks (and I told them how I'd fallen out of the sky on the way to San Diego, and the waitress brought me free beer). Also reminds of the time I bumped into the Sierra Nevada sales team in my Philadelphia hotel bar. Beer guinea pig, you say? Oh, and Rogue in San Fran. Well, chaps if you insist I try. I make it my business to the find beer salespeople. I got sales radar.
If I do make it there I'll be sure to lay on the accent good and thick.
I like the Rogue beers I've tried. I'd always thought of Sierra Nevada as being nasty generic yellow rubbish until I tried Torpedo and Hop Hunter (I'm rather partial to IPA, the hoppier the better). I'm sure hops will become an endangered species what with beers like Torpedo and Stone's totally bonkers RuinTen. I've got a bottle of that sitting in my cellar waiting for the ideal moment to drink it.
Quote
I've always assumed the piss weak US beers were orientated around the need to drive. I don't think it's possible to drink enough MGD to fail a field sobriety test. The only danger is that if takes too long you'll start pissing like a out-of-control sprinkler attachment which could make you stumble off the straight line.
I think it's as much about the marketing as anything else. Since in rural areas of the US it's nigh on impossible to go anywhere without driving it's not as if the concept of the designated driver is lost here, and in particularly remote areas it seems a fair number of people regard the DUI limits as advisory and make their own decision whether they are safe to drive (coming from London that sounds utterly bonkers, but it's marginally easier to understand in the light of the fact you're almost guaranteed not to encounter another car on your journey home)
Certainly drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon is the kind of thing that induces vomiting from the sheer volume of carbonated liquid long before the alcohol has any measurable effect.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 July, 2015, 06:38:06 pm
I've always assumed the piss weak US beers were orientated around the need to drive. I don't think it's possible to drink enough MGD to fail a field sobriety test. The only danger is that if takes too long you'll start pissing like a out-of-control sprinkler attachment which could make you stumble off the straight line.
Bizarrely you still get hung over if you guzzle enough of the swill. Bud Light, in this case. Well, it was free. And the shops were shut.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 July, 2015, 08:32:07 pm
Never heard of Yuengling (sounds Chinese) but Budweiser would have me vomitting long before a gallon, and not from the alcohol. OTOH I'm off to Prague in a week or so and am looking forward to some proper Budweiser from Budweiser. And I bet it won't be served in a jam jar!Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 July, 2015, 08:43:48 pm
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
Post by: Jakob W on 25 July, 2015, 09:16:40 pm
Post by: Jaded on 25 July, 2015, 11:07:08 pm
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain::thumbsup:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
Post by: Andrij on 25 July, 2015, 11:37:36 pm
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
Reinheitsgebot is a beautiful word.
Post by: contango on 26 July, 2015, 04:25:25 am
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
I'd agree with most of that, but question the chocolate. Not that I want a beer to taste like a bar of chocolate, but the Dogfish Head Theobroma beer is made with cocoa nibs (among other things) and tastes truly divine.
A friend of mine said some years ago that if the government were to impose a 1000% VAT on bits of lime put into crappy Mexican beers they could close the budget deficit overnight.
Post by: contango on 26 July, 2015, 05:15:29 am
I recall Yuengling (Pennsylvania Dutch, innit) being pretty good when I tried it - a Wiener lager style. But then I had just come off 6 weeks without a decent drink (i.e. only Bud), so my palate may have been skewed.
From what I can tell Yuengling started life as a mediocre beer, then got bought by some company and then enjoyed a new lease of life as a mediocre beer with a billion dollar advertising budget.
To be honest it's passable, I'd drink it in preference to things like Bud Lite, but it's not the sort of thing I'd rave about drinking.
Post by: ian on 26 July, 2015, 01:00:22 pm
I sadly can't agree with Mr Larrer's beer list, I have some lovely rice beers in Japan (though I'd agree that generally rice and corn-based industrial effluent beers are to be avoided and anyone that drinks Corona should have a lime wedge shoved down their throat to keep them quiet while you shoot them), you can't condemn fruit once you've held a good, sour kriek, and you want all kinds of weird playing in good wheat beer, and I'll give chocolate a shot in a stout or porter. The rigorous adherence to a strict set of ingredients give you German beer that ranges from the insipid (Becks) through to the stolid, if dull.
But yes, this is a rant thread, so sod taxes, I say we hunt anyone who produces, drinks, or otherwise engages with 'tequila-flavoured' Mexican beer products with big angry dogs.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 July, 2015, 01:21:01 pm
As for Corona, when I first visited USAnia the choice in Battle Mountain was between the usual domestic swill and slightly less rank Mexican stuff like Corona or Dos Equis. Happily things have improved since 2002 and the place even has a proper liquor store. Though the best stuff we ever had there was the year my chum Jeff blagged half a people-carrier of freebies from the Full Sail brewery of Hood River OR and gave it away to anyone who wanted it.
Post by: CAMRAMan on 26 July, 2015, 02:52:10 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 26 July, 2015, 08:35:27 pm
Post by: contango on 26 July, 2015, 09:35:38 pm
Yuengling has been around forever and these days, like Sam Adams, do that mass produced craft beer. Generally a better option than industrial bilge (seriously, people drink Budweiser in the UK, when they have a choice, it's worse that our own Carlsbergs/Carlings, and that's like comparing the merits of different urine samples, it's all piss and you're drinking it voluntarily). But indeed, I wouldn't cross the street for it, especially given that craft beer is everywhere in the US these days. It's the sort of stuff you'd take a party on the grounds that most of it will get guzzled by someone else (while you steal the nice stuff).
I sadly can't agree with Mr Larrer's beer list, I have some lovely rice beers in Japan (though I'd agree that generally rice and corn-based industrial effluent beers are to be avoided and anyone that drinks Corona should have a lime wedge shoved down their throat to keep them quiet while you shoot them), you can't condemn fruit once you've held a good, sour kriek, and you want all kinds of weird playing in good wheat beer, and I'll give chocolate a shot in a stout or porter. The rigorous adherence to a strict set of ingredients give you German beer that ranges from the insipid (Becks) through to the stolid, if dull.
I've enjoyed at least a sip or two of the Framboise my wife likes but, you know, it's not really beer. It's more like one of those sugary fruity things that's got some alcohol in it but doesn't really count as beer. Just like an abomination made of minced tofu and soya doesn't count as a burger even if it is served in a bun with a slice of plastic cheese-like product on top of it.
Where generic fizzy rubbish is concerned in the UK, some months ago I was at a friend's party that he'd hosted in a local 5-a-side club. The bar selection was dismal, in the same way the food on offer in prisoner-of-war camps in the movies is dismal. The one redeeming feature was that they had Old Speckled Hen in bottles, so I drank one of those. Some hours later I really wanted another drink but didn't want another bottle of Hen on the basis I had to drive and didn't want any more than a half. So I looked over the taps and opted for a half of Carlsberg. Well, suffice to say I wasn't going to have any issues with failing a breath-test because a mouthful of the stuff was all it took to remind me why I don't drink Carlsberg any more.
Still, it was better than the Castlemaine XXXX I drank (once) back in the 90s. In a club venue at a holiday camp the selection made the 5-a-side club look positively extravagant and the prices were outrageous. I'd seen the TV advertising for XXXX so ordered a pint. It was my first ever pint of the stuff and the minute it touched my lips I concluded it was going to be my last ever pint of the stuff. I can think of all sorts of things that the XXXX might represent, none of them repeatable in polite company.
Quote
But yes, this is a rant thread, so sod taxes, I say we hunt anyone who produces, drinks, or otherwise engages with 'tequila-flavoured' Mexican beer products with big angry dogs.
Curiously only the other night it was my turn to not drive home when my wife and I went to visit friends, and the only beer he had was the rather (in his words) cheap ass Mexican beer Sol. With lime juice. At least it masked the taste of the Sol. I would have taken something nicer but my cellar is heavily stocked with IPAs that he doesn't care for, and I didn't want a 20 mile diversion to get something better than Sol. I don't think his big dogs cared what we were drinking as long as they got fed.
It's amazing what we (at least what I) can put up with when it's socially awkward to reject it. Still, I got to mock my friend for his beer selection (again).
Post by: ian on 26 July, 2015, 10:28:38 pm
It's still a world better than Australian beers which seem to be predicated on little more than being wet. Possibly they've improved, it's been many years since I've been out that way. I used to think they sent us all the bad stuff, then it turned out not to be true.
The problem with krieks is that they turned into Bacardi Breezers and become increasingly sweet and nasty. A proper 3 Fonteinen Oude Kriek will set you right, or a Cantillon. People will argue to the death over a good kriek, but it has to be lambic and face-puckeringly sour.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 July, 2015, 10:52:53 pm
Brewery Droid: ...and we've reduced the strength because of the BRITISH penchant for session drinking!
Parry: Noooooooooo! The only reason we drink it is coz it's strong!
1: The Aussie version had a red circle around the top of the can. You can die happy knowing this.
Post by: Tim Hall on 26 July, 2015, 11:25:51 pm
I was in Amsterdam once where my ourquer de vache suggested I try a wheat beer, in place of the Euro-fizz. Ever keen for new experiences, I agreed. A glass of something so cloudy that if it were a pint of honest BRITON'S BEER you would have no qualms in handing it straight back, even if the landlady was Ursula The Sea Witch that used to inhabit Thee Pubbe near here, was placed in front of me. But they made it better. By putting a slice of lemon in it. Innit.
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
(It tasted v nice)
Post by: Pickled Onion on 27 July, 2015, 08:05:57 am
When I was a Penniless Student Oaf we learned to tell the difference between imported tinnies of XXXX and the muck from Mortlake1.
On a visit there many years ago, some of the fermenting vessels were marked as "HG4X". I asked, and was told they contained "High Gravity XXXX, we brew it like this then dilute at carbonation." So it literally is watered-down lager.
Post by: tiermat on 27 July, 2015, 08:14:33 am
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
I agree with all of that, but for one thing.
Two of my favourite Lagers are Barley and rice combinations (FWIW Lal Toofan and Estrella Damm*), so although rice beer is 'orrible on it's own, it can do something for a beer if used in the right way.
*See, I had to get it in there, somewhere! :)
Post by: Efrogwr on 27 July, 2015, 09:36:44 am
(click to show/hide)
Post by: ian on 27 July, 2015, 11:19:04 am
On other matters, as I mentioned them elsewhere: the avocado. For some reason I insist on buying them (I have a Macbook). Beyond that, I don't know why, as they taste like nothing and feel like something might have decomposed in in your mouth as you eat them. You can bash them up into guacamole, but it's just hesitantly spicy green sludge. Has anyone ever had an avocado that tasted of anything?
Post by: rafletcher on 27 July, 2015, 11:43:28 am
Post by: hellymedic on 27 July, 2015, 05:17:45 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 July, 2015, 05:28:22 pm
Post by: CAMRAMan on 27 July, 2015, 05:35:10 pm
Post by: T42 on 27 July, 2015, 05:57:09 pm
Post by: ian on 27 July, 2015, 07:37:21 pm
I think avocado is one of those fruits/veges which is usually sold way under-ripe. If you do get a ripe one, it's quite tasty.
As far as can tell they go from solid and bland to slimy and bland, the only real difference is that when trying to peel them you get gloopy fingers like you've been playing with ectoplasm and trying to raise the teeming dead. Raising the teeming dead is also far more fun than peeling an avocado. Perhaps the afterlife, like Apple's Cupertino reception area, is filled with avocados.
Hmm, Harp and Murphy's, that's my student bad dream cocktail. I think all the Guinness Foreign Export stuff is brewed under licence on site, basically Guinness send out some flavouring (Google tells me it's prosaically named Guinness Flavouring Extract) and it gets blended into local booze (in Nigeria and Ghana it's sorghum lager). As mention, I think the Nigerians spice it up with a dash of hydrazine. Leastways that's what it tastes like. I'd class these drinks as interesting. Normal Guinness is just black water. The shame is that there are so many utterly wonderful stouts that I could drink by the bathful but people rave about that sour, watery, poor impression of a stout.
I'm frankly surprised the chief ingredient of Stella isn't piss. It's the rankest lager ever, and that's saying something given the competition. I once licked a mixture of mercaptoethanol and putrescine off my thumb and believe me, the taste was still nicer than Stella. It's the only beer improved by the taste of the pump line cleaner.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 July, 2015, 07:55:42 pm
- was nicer, and
- lacked a lot of the "Brewed in $CHEMICAL_PLANT" information on the can
And both were nectar compared with Fosters. My grate frend Mikey actually drinks Fosters of his own volition, but he's Canadian and probably had his taste buds frozen at an early age or eaten by BEARs or something.
Also: avocados. Poo! Do I want to eat something that sounds like a lawyer? No. No, I do not.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 27 July, 2015, 08:04:38 pm
3F, Hansens Kriek, Cantillon, Boon Oude Kriek (probably the least sour of those, but nice cherries.) All good. You could use the cheap and sweet stuff to cook duck in kriek sauce though :P
The problem with krieks is that they turned into Bacardi Breezers and become increasingly sweet and nasty. A proper 3 Fonteinen Oude Kriek will set you right, or a Cantillon. People will argue to the death over a good kriek, but it has to be lambic and face-puckeringly sour.
Post by: Jurek on 27 July, 2015, 08:05:26 pm
The Stella sold by Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles tasted considerably different from that sold by Mr Patel in the offie, which:Shirly you mean advokaat.which suggests Mr P's Stella was sourced outwith the recognised supply chain.
- was nicer, and
- lacked a lot of the "Brewed in $CHEMICAL_PLANT" information on the can
And both were nectar compared with Fosters. My grate frend Mikey actually drinks Fosters of his own volition, but he's Canadian and probably had his taste buds frozen at an early age or eaten by BEARs or something.
Also: avocados. Poo! Do I want to eat something that sounds like a lawyer? No. No, I do not.
Another nommy drink. Not.
Post by: contango on 28 July, 2015, 03:58:21 am
I shouldn't complain, I'm recently back from copious amount of Malawi Carlsberg which, perhaps owing the the environs, didn't taste quite as bad as the real Carlsberg and reasonably drinkable. Given the alternative was Chibuka, I think a reasoned choice, unless you like your beer in a milk carton that requires vigorous shaking. Actually, it's not that bad, but something of acquired taste. I think usually made from sorghum or maize. And possibly dead dogs. When you travel a lot, especially to lesser visited parts of the word, it's common for locals to feed you something just to see what kinds of faces you pull.
You don't even need to travel far to get that kind of welcome. Just go to Mousehole in Cornwall and ask about stargazey pie. I suppose the difference is they won't serve it to you unless you order it.
Quote
It's still a world better than Australian beers which seem to be predicated on little more than being wet. Possibly they've improved, it's been many years since I've been out that way. I used to think they sent us all the bad stuff, then it turned out not to be true.
Wet and cold. They serve it ice cold for two reasons. Firstly it's usually the only way you can tell it from urine and secondly if it ever warms up you can taste it and that's a Really Bad Thing. Much the same was said about American beer but that was before the nation discovered craft beer and vast arrays of options that didn't end in Lite appeared. It's truly remarkable just how many beers are produced here, especially given the tragic beginnings of the beer industry. It still applies pretty well to just about anything ending in Lite.
Post by: contango on 28 July, 2015, 03:59:49 am
The Stella sold by Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles tasted considerably different from that sold by Mr Patel in the offie, which:Shirly you mean advokaat.which suggests Mr P's Stella was sourced outwith the recognised supply chain.
- was nicer, and
- lacked a lot of the "Brewed in $CHEMICAL_PLANT" information on the can
And both were nectar compared with Fosters. My grate frend Mikey actually drinks Fosters of his own volition, but he's Canadian and probably had his taste buds frozen at an early age or eaten by BEARs or something.
Also: avocados. Poo! Do I want to eat something that sounds like a lawyer? No. No, I do not.
Another nommy drink. Not.
The difference between avocados and advokaat is quite substantial. One looks like congealed snot, the other like congealed pus.
Post by: Pingu on 28 July, 2015, 09:27:20 am
...avocados and advokaat...
Could this be a basis for a cocktail?
Post by: fuzzy on 28 July, 2015, 10:58:21 am
The difference between avocados and advokaat is quite substantial.
Yup, I think only one has been a football manager.
Post by: Efrogwr on 28 July, 2015, 11:18:55 am
...avocados and advokaat...
Could this be a basis for a cocktail?
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.
Post by: lahoski on 28 July, 2015, 12:08:23 pm
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
Post by: Pickled Onion on 28 July, 2015, 12:16:56 pm
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
Google says "http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/dutchflip_87494"
Post by: Efrogwr on 28 July, 2015, 07:08:12 pm
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
I wish I could!
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 28 July, 2015, 08:28:42 pm
Post by: ian on 28 July, 2015, 08:33:41 pm
Post by: Pingu on 28 July, 2015, 10:03:38 pm
Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed. I have a bottle in my fridge, when no one is looking I go rustle up a snowball. It tumbles me right back to my childhood when my gran used to make them. She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to my her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.
I used to get Sweetheart Stout :hand:
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 July, 2015, 10:09:04 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 28 July, 2015, 11:49:42 pm
Post by: contango on 29 July, 2015, 05:03:00 am
...avocados and advokaat...
Could this be a basis for a cocktail?
If so there must be a huge amount of money available - all you need is an army of teenagers willing to squeeze zits into glasses and sneeze.
Post by: contango on 29 July, 2015, 05:06:50 am
Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed.
You start a thread called "the food rant thread" and expect to be let off as easily as that, when drinking something that looks like pus? Are you kidding me?
Quote
She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.
When I was a child (i.e. small enough to be drinking milk from a bottle) my parents had trouble getting me to sleep. A family friend said she gave her son (who was about the same age as me) a tablespoon of brandy in his milk and it put him out like a light. So a tablespoon of brandy went in my milk bottle, and had no effect at all. So the next day two tablespoons, then three, then four, and so on. By the time I was drinking 6oz of milk with 2oz of brandy and still not obliging by sleeping my parents gave up on the idea.
Curiously if anything it was whisky that had virtually no effect on me when I was of an age to test such limits. In my student days I could easily drink half a bottle of whisky or more and show no visible effects at all. One particular evening a friend thought I was "slightly tipsy", and was quite taken aback when he realised I'd had just shy of a pint of the stuff.
Post by: ian on 29 July, 2015, 12:39:20 pm
I'm still liking the advocaat. I got no shame, mix it up with Babycham a drop a morello cherry in it, and I'm all yours. It's also quite nice tipped over ice cream.
I'm more concerned that people are saying that some types of Stella 'aren't nice to drink' which presupposes that there is, somewhere, a Stella that is nice to drink. This doesn't seem conceivable. I think a lot of these brewed under licence things are like the Guinness, they knock up some kind of flavouring extract and ship it around the world and then dilute it with cheap, industrial lager product or cargo ship bilge on site.
Sadly, you can't get Lav lager in the UK, which is probably the most aptly named lager in the world (it's not that bad, compared to the industrial muck in our pubs).
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2015, 01:04:56 pm
Post by: contango on 30 July, 2015, 04:34:50 am
I'm still liking the advocaat. I got no shame, mix it up with Babycham a drop a morello cherry in it, and I'm all yours. It's also quite nice tipped over ice cream.
I believe the mocking should continue until you relent.
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I'm more concerned that people are saying that some types of Stella 'aren't nice to drink' which presupposes that there is, somewhere, a Stella that is nice to drink. This doesn't seem conceivable. I think a lot of these brewed under licence things are like the Guinness, they knock up some kind of flavouring extract and ship it around the world and then dilute it with cheap, industrial lager product or cargo ship bilge on site.
It may be that the mythical "perfect pint of Stella" is a theoretical construct only, describing an item that's harder to find than a unicorn that craps solid gold. Although that said "this Stella isn't nice" doesn't technically imply that a product that might be called "nice Stella" actually exists, it merely observes that the Stella in the glass right now isn't nice. It's a bit like observing that a tart doesn't have a heart of gold, a traffic warden doesn't have a forgiving spirit, a dog barks like a stuck record and assume it's everybody's favourite, and a solicitor went on holiday in the middle of your complicated house purchase. The opposite may theoretically exist but its existence isn't technically implied by the observation. Maybe a vain hope lives on in those untainted by reality but, you know...
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Sadly, you can't get Lav lager in the UK, which is probably the most aptly named lager in the world (it's not that bad, compared to the industrial muck in our pubs).It's hard to imagine anything worse than Castlemaine XXXX. To think that people voluntarily hand over money to experience it is mind-boggling. Unless they did the same thing I did, buy one pint and resolve never to touch the stuff again, and there are just lots of unenlightened drifters who have yet to experience the culinary abomination that is XXXX.
Post by: pcolbeck on 30 July, 2015, 08:36:55 am
Post by: madcow on 30 July, 2015, 09:58:16 am
If you are of mature years , you may also have experienced the original "Kestrel " lager marketed by Scottish and Newcastle.
Not their proudest achievement IMHO.
I have just googled Kestrel beer and it's being marketed with a "strong Scottish heritage". It's still piss in a can, just can't decide if its cats ,rats or gnats.
Post by: pcolbeck on 30 July, 2015, 11:58:12 am
I was reduced to drinking this at a bike rally once as that's all a friend brought back when he did a supermarket run with the kitty. An experience never to be repeated.
Post by: ian on 30 July, 2015, 12:16:07 pm
Post by: contango on 30 July, 2015, 05:54:48 pm
contango- ref XXXX - Can is suggest that you try draft 1664 as a comparison?
If you are of mature years , you may also have experienced the original "Kestrel " lager marketed by Scottish and Newcastle.
Not their proudest achievement IMHO.
I have just googled Kestrel beer and it's being marketed with a "strong Scottish heritage". It's still piss in a can, just can't decide if its cats ,rats or gnats.
In my younger (lager drinking) days I used to like 1664. I'd drink the "export" tagged lagers which seemed to be more or less the same as the regular ones. It was during my lager drinking days that I had my somewhat abortive adventure with XXXX. These days I tend not to drink much lager, I much prefer ales. Living on the left side of the Atlantic these days I don't know I could get 1664 if I tried, although I have seen Newcastle Brown Ale for sale at a price that makes me wonder why anyone in their right mind would pay it.
I vaguely remember Kestrel. Kestrel Super Strength was their silly strong beer (about 9.5% IIRC) that tasted pretty grim but was good for getting lots of alcohol down fast. I have vague memories of mixing it with tequila in my student days. Whether the memories are vague because of elapsed years, the effects of the alcohol, or a desperate attempt by my brain to rid itself of memories of the trauma remains unknown.
Post by: contango on 30 July, 2015, 05:58:44 pm
I remember once, in another of those ill-advised student adventures, we had a party themed around various varieties of what might best be described as tramp juice. So we had the Special Brew, the Tennents Super, Kestrel Premium, White Lightning Cider, MD20, Thunderbird, and the like. It says something that even students couldn't drink this crap and had to abandon and go down the pub. And if you've ever thrown up Thunderbird (a natural corollary of having drunk Thunderbird) you'll never be able to look at another bottle, even behind the counter, without an involuntary stomach back-flip.
I remember drinking Thunderbird as a student, but only once. Mixing it with Kestrel Super and tequila seemed like a good idea at the time. The result wasn't the best tasting thing I've ever encountered but was good for getting very drunk, very fast (it still tasted vastly better than XXXX). The following morning demonstrated just what a Not Good Idea it had been.
I remember mixing Gold Label, Diamond White and pernod with a splash of blackcurrant to create a cocktail known as a Purple Nasty. The first time I ordered that in a non-student pub the barman looked at me as if to say "you want me to mix what?". One pint of that was all you'd need for the evening, a second pint would have nasty repercussions the following morning. Thankfully it wasn't long after ordering it that I started to grow up and stick to at least moderately more sensible drinks, even if "more sensible" still meant 1664.
Post by: hatler on 30 July, 2015, 08:24:38 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 July, 2015, 09:10:30 pm
Post by: contango on 30 July, 2015, 10:44:35 pm
I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.
Ah yes, the sugary syrup with alcohol in it beloved of cocktails that just need a splash of colour.
A friend of mine was a teetotaller when he first arrived at university. On a trip into town I somehow helped him conclude that what he really needed was a bottle of creme de menthe, a bottle of creme de bananes, and a case of Budweiser. I never did figure out quite how that panned out. Still, bright green and bright yellow made for some interesting colour combinations, although the best-tasting drink (relatively speaking) we found with either of them was the rather dangerously named "snake in the grass" which turned out to be nothing more than creme de menthe and lemonade, with sugar optional in case the syrupy sweetness of the creme de menthe was insufficient.
On another note a fair few years ago a friend wanted to whittle down his drinks cabinet so invited a load of us around for a cocktail party. We started out drinking B52s, and when one of the ingredients ran out (we were quite well oiled by that stage) I just substituted it for something else and called it a B53. Next up was the B54, and so on. By the end of the evening we were into the 60s, nobody except me knew what was in the cocktails (and I couldn't remember), and all we knew was that the morning after there were lots of sore heads and the remains of the final drink was still in a glass. It was a murky green colour with a black swirl in it.
The host was pleased that a large chunk of his drinks cabinet had been cleared out, but less pleased that half of his bottle of 16-year-old Lagavulin had also disappeared along the way.
Post by: contango on 30 July, 2015, 10:45:37 pm
I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia. It's another one which varies in taste according to whether it comes from Mr Patel or Mr Sainsbury.
I can't say I've noticed it but to be honest I haven't been looking out for it. I did find Old Speckled Hen in a supermarket in South Carolina a couple of years ago.
Post by: ian on 30 July, 2015, 10:58:13 pm
Old Speckled Hen I find unmistakably foul too. Sort of sticky icky, like it's made out of tongues and snail slime.
On other matters, is it just me, or does Red Bull smell like old sick? And why are people drinking it. Apparently it contains taurine. Are they cats? Do they lick their own arse clean? Enquiring minds want to know. OK, you can skip the last bit.
Post by: perpetual dan on 30 July, 2015, 10:59:19 pm
I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia.
Some time in the 90s I found Watney's Red Barrel in San Francisco. It feels a bit late to re-hash the Python rant.
I think this might also be relevant to the discussion...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25HaJKSA2c (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25HaJKSA2c)
Post by: T42 on 31 July, 2015, 01:14:40 pm
Having eaten about a third with it, sharing with the dogs, I read further in the ingredients list and find "à consommer cuit à coeur" - "cook through before eating".
So here I am, sitting with several inches of raw
Post by: hellymedic on 31 July, 2015, 01:45:44 pm
You'll probably be fine anyway.
Post by: fuzzy on 31 July, 2015, 04:55:00 pm
I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.
Ah yes, the sugary syrup with alcohol in it beloved of cocktails that just need a splash of colour.
A friend of mine was a teetotaller when he first arrived at university. On a trip into town I somehow helped him conclude that what he really needed was a bottle of creme de menthe, a bottle of creme de bananes, and a case of Budweiser. I never did figure out quite how that panned out. Still, bright green and bright yellow made for some interesting colour combinations, although the best-tasting drink (relatively speaking) we found with either of them was the rather dangerously named "snake in the grass" which turned out to be nothing more than creme de menthe and lemonade, with sugar optional in case the syrupy sweetness of the creme de menthe was insufficient.
On another note a fair few years ago a friend wanted to whittle down his drinks cabinet so invited a load of us around for a cocktail party. We started out drinking B52s, and when one of the ingredients ran out (we were quite well oiled by that stage) I just substituted it for something else and called it a B53. Next up was the B54, and so on. By the end of the evening we were into the 60s, nobody except me knew what was in the cocktails (and I couldn't remember), and all we knew was that the morning after there were lots of sore heads and the remains of the final drink was still in a glass. It was a murky green colour with a black swirl in it.
The host was pleased that a large chunk of his drinks cabinet had been cleared out, but less pleased that half of his bottle of 16-year-old Lagavulin had also disappeared along the way.
Back in my misspent military days, I celebrated my 21st birthday at The Plastic Pub in Omagh- a faux Tudor style building within the boundary of the barracks so that us squaddies could have a safe evening in the pubbe.
My celebrations were concluded by my being presented with a 'Kamikaze'. I had the choice- straight or jug, lemonade or coke. I chose straight and lemonade. My chosen straight pint glass was then deployed back and forth along the optics until there was an inch space left for the lemonade. Said 'Kamikaze' then landed on the table in front of me.
Fuzzy health warning- only open the spoiler if graphic descriptions of bodily output can be tolerated.
(click to show/hide)
Post by: contango on 31 July, 2015, 06:45:04 pm
I think the difference in booze is down to the imported vs. brewed under licence by industrial chemists. Brewers swear it's the same. My wife's BFF is someone mysteriously senior at SABMiller and she won't tell me, probably because they've put a microchip in her brain to stop her. Her eyes glaze like she's had Everest in and she says 'it is the same' in a robot voice, and then, a moment later, she clicks back into reality with a 'did I say something?'
It's remarkable how different something can taste based on whether it's from a bottle or a can. Sometimes in the summertime my wife and I will drink a Redd's Apple Ale. It's nothing to write home about but it's cold and reasonably refreshing, and a bottle of it isn't sufficiently potent to worry about whether we'll have to drive later (unlike many Stone beers, where a single 22oz bottle means you need to hang up the car keys for about six weeks). Recently we realised it was cheaper to buy it in cans so we did, and regretted it. We've got two cans left, then it's back to bottles.
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Old Speckled Hen I find unmistakably foul too. Sort of sticky icky, like it's made out of tongues and snail slime.
Says the man who likes advocaat. Excuse me if I don't take that rant particularly seriously :P
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On other matters, is it just me, or does Red Bull smell like old sick? And why are people drinking it. Apparently it contains taurine. Are they cats? Do they lick their own arse clean? Enquiring minds want to know. OK, you can skip the last bit.
Couldn't tell you, the closest I've been to an open can of Red Bull is when someone at a nearby table was drinking some. Truth be told that's the closest I particularly want to get to an open can of Red Bull.
Actually, on reflection, that's not entirely true. I think I cycled past a discarded Red Bull can once. That was probably the closest I've ever been to an open can of Red Bull.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 July, 2015, 07:01:33 pm
Red Bull and its ilk were banned in the Gulag and with good reason - anyone caught drinking something that vile deserves to be out on the street with naught to show for it but a depleted bank balance and a crack habit.
Post by: contango on 31 July, 2015, 07:26:03 pm
Advocaaaaaaaaat is a bit like drinking an especially sweet and liquid alcoholic custard. But not quite as good as that would actually be.
It seems to me more like a blend of liquid custard and the contents of the pimples on the faces of a thousand teenagers.
Post by: ian on 04 August, 2015, 09:49:34 am
Post by: Efrogwr on 04 August, 2015, 08:39:50 pm
Post by: contango on 05 August, 2015, 12:09:28 am
The smell of Red Bull is evil. It can fill a room like sarin within a few seconds of someone popping a can open. It smells like stomach contents.
... says the man who likes a blend of custard and the contents of zits, aka advocaat ...
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Given that the wayward youth down it with vodka it is a considerable component of what they spray over Croydon town centre's pavements in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Like Thunderbird and Southern Comfort, it's one of those liquids that smells as bad going down as coming up.
Mixing Thunderbird and Southern Comfort is a Really Bad Idea. Throwing tequila into the mix turns it into an Apocalyptically Bad Idea. Don't ask how I know.... it relates to a university night of which I have very little memory, other than that mixing Thunderbird, Southern Comfort and tequila proved to be an Apocalyptically Bad Idea.
Post by: ian on 05 August, 2015, 10:44:09 am
You can say whatever you want about my liking for advocaat, but even I have standards. I'm not sure if you can get Cisco Strawberry in the UK. For this we should be thankful.
Post by: fuzzy on 05 August, 2015, 01:47:13 pm
Well, I can only imagine Thunderbird alone contravenes several chemical weapons conventions. Mixing it like that could take out several city blocks. I think the story goes that E&G Gallo invented Thunderbird as part of a Republican plot to wipe out homeless people. Actually that might have been Wild Irish Rose. They're all better than Cisco Strawberry. I think that was invented to euthanise adult elephants. You know where they got the idea for the sizzling acid blood in Alien? Cisco Strawberry. When the Devil sat down in Hell one day and thought, boy, damning all these souls is thirsty work, if only we had something like Kool-Aid down here, Astaroth outdid himself came up with Cisco Strawberry for him. I think it's available in peach too. I'm pretty sure no fruit was harmed in its manufacture. Even the colour hurts your eyes so I can only imagine that any hangover, if not immediately fatal, is like having a rusty railway spike bashed through your head with an industrial steam hammer.
You can say whatever you want about my liking for advocaat, but even I have standards. I'm not sure if you can get Cisco Strawberry in the UK. For this we should be thankful.
Is Cisco Strawberry like an alcoholic version of that 70's wonder drink Cresta? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvo2Hddqg3I)
Post by: ian on 05 August, 2015, 03:45:55 pm
If I recall, Cisco Strawberry had a bouquet of part-chewed Starburst and a taste that resembled cough sweets ground up in anti-freeze. The internet confirms its reputation as 'liquid crack'. Nothing that colour is going to be good for you (see also MD20/20's colour palette). Sometimes, when I'm feeling really weird, I like to imagine I'm in a world where everything is various colours of MD20/20s. It's like having your retinas repeatedly punched by fluorescent lederhosen-wearing bears.
Post by: mcshroom on 05 August, 2015, 04:15:17 pm
Post by: Chris S on 05 August, 2015, 05:33:15 pm
The name makes it sound like a corporate rival to the Raspberry Pi
;D
Harping back to Red Bull, I once went to a friend's party where he was drinking Red Bull & Vodka all night long, and allegedly didn't sleep for three days/nights. It's a smell often encountered on late Saturday night bike rides, when passed by small hairdresser-type cars full of blokes, often accompanied by deep booming bass noises and a jovial call of WAAANKAAAAA!
Post by: Feanor on 05 August, 2015, 11:00:44 pm
And it tastes wonderfully synthetic!
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/325/20326553435_7b96d1bb63_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/wYbUaR)
DSC_2635 (https://flic.kr/p/wYbUaR) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
And the 'Cream Soda' emits a dull luminous green glow that looks like parts of a nuclear reactor that should never be seen by the naked eye.
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/328/20138550198_89eea025d7_z.jpg)
(https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ)DSC_2677 (https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
These are the first thing the Juniors want when we arrive in Southern Africa!
Post by: Kim on 05 August, 2015, 11:05:18 pm
In Southern Africa, the 'Fanta Orange' is still the utterly magnificent hi-viz luminous orange that's not been legal in the EU for 20 years.
And it tastes wonderfully synthetic!
It's good stuff, that. :thumbsup:
Post by: spesh on 05 August, 2015, 11:09:22 pm
Post by: contango on 06 August, 2015, 05:18:08 am
Well, I can only imagine Thunderbird alone contravenes several chemical weapons conventions. Mixing it like that could take out several city blocks.
It certainly took out a few brain cells the night I tried it. That was an interesting party but the morning after was particularly grim. The afternoon wasn't all that great either, from what I recall.
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I think the story goes that E&G Gallo invented Thunderbird as part of a Republican plot to wipe out homeless people. Actually that might have been Wild Irish Rose. They're all better than Cisco Strawberry. I think that was invented to euthanise adult elephants. You know where they got the idea for the sizzling acid blood in Alien? Cisco Strawberry. When the Devil sat down in Hell one day and thought, boy, damning all these souls is thirsty work, if only we had something like Kool-Aid down here, Astaroth outdid himself came up with Cisco Strawberry for him. I think it's available in peach too. I'm pretty sure no fruit was harmed in its manufacture. Even the colour hurts your eyes so I can only imagine that any hangover, if not immediately fatal, is like having a rusty railway spike bashed through your head with an industrial steam hammer.
It reminds me of a peach wine I had at a friend's 18th birthday party when I was - ahem - "18, officer". It tasted wonderful, but it took me the best part of 10 years before I ever saw it again. Needless to say the next time I tasted it I considered it utterly foul. I wonder whether any peaches were harmed in the making of that stuff. At least it didn't strip the back of my throat the way Thunderbird and tequila did.
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You can say whatever you want about my liking for advocaat, but even I have standards. I'm not sure if you can get Cisco Strawberry in the UK. For this we should be thankful.
I have standards now, and the bar is set high enough that no advocaat is allowed anywhere near it. Mixing Thunderbird and tequila was a student method of getting Very Much Drunk with Very Much Cheapness. Adding Kestrel Super Strength just added that extra kick of Drunk.
Post by: Legs on 06 August, 2015, 09:06:11 am
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/328/20138550198_89eea025d7_z.jpg)That looks like tarhun, which is would be No. 1 on Adam Hart-Davis' never-made series What the Former Soviet Union Did For Us.
(https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ)DSC_2677 (https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
Post by: ian on 06 August, 2015, 09:42:31 am
The Chinese seem to love odd coloured Fantas too. Odd coloured anything. I'm not sure about all those additives, kids seem a lot dumber these days, so I reckon excesses of E110 made me what I am. I quite fancy some Tarhun, which I've never tried. Mind you I made that mistake with Unicum which is definitely a case of spit rather than swallow.
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
Post by: fuzzy on 06 August, 2015, 10:54:28 am
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
So, no fresh raw herring and diced onion inna bun purchased from C.M.O.T van Dibbler on an Amsterdam Street Corner for you then?
Post by: spesh on 06 August, 2015, 11:06:46 am
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
So, no fresh raw herring and diced onion inna bun purchased from C.M.O.T van Dibbler on an Amsterdam Street Corner for you then?
And hákarl onna stick from C.M.O.T. Dibblersson would be right out as well. :demon:
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 August, 2015, 11:22:31 am
Post by: ian on 06 August, 2015, 06:57:31 pm
Anyway, I'm a bit scared when the chef comes watch me eat. You like?, he says, and it's like a culinary polygraph. You know that bit in Bladerunner where they're doing the replicant test? He's looking for the giveaway facial tick. What if I don't? This is a man with a kitchen full of sharp, murdery implements and a eggshell-fragile ego.
So, of course I ate the damn pickled herring.
But ordinarily I'm minded that fish should, as the good Lord intended, come in cans. I'll do pretty much anything for a tin of red salmon. Not the pink stuff, I have exquisite tastes. Days when my mum would reach for the tin of John West red salmon were the happiest of my childhood. Trust me, if you'd tasted her cooking, any day that promised a meal that came ready-to-eat out of a tin was a good one.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 August, 2015, 08:58:25 pm
I'd rather have that than the smoked eel again.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 06 August, 2015, 09:26:17 pm
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
(https://notanotherfrozenshouldersurgeryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/swedish-chef.jpg)
I didn't realise he did fish as well as chicken.
Post by: jsabine on 06 August, 2015, 10:14:06 pm
Pickled isn't raw....
I'd rather have that than the smoked eel again.
I like smoked eel very much. Tricky to find though - at least without needing a second mortgage.
I like pickled herring too.
Post by: spesh on 06 August, 2015, 10:25:57 pm
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
(https://notanotherfrozenshouldersurgeryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/swedish-chef.jpg)
I didn't realise he did fish as well as chicken.
Fishie Chowder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svxiWwF-fyk
Pöpcørn Shrimp: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7UmUX68KtE
Post by: contango on 07 August, 2015, 04:32:08 am
The Chinese seem to love odd coloured Fantas too. Odd coloured anything. I'm not sure about all those additives, kids seem a lot dumber these days, so I reckon excesses of E110 made me what I am. I quite fancy some Tarhun, which I've never tried. Mind you I made that mistake with Unicum which is definitely a case of spit rather than swallow.
Here in USAnia you can get all sorts of grape drinks that are a lurid shade of purple that looks like it should be in a biology lab somewhere and that don't taste anything like grape. At least that's what I thought until I ate some Real Grapes here, and found to my amazement that they taste remarkably like the lurid purple grape drinks.
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Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
Fish is kind of supposed to smell like fish. If it didn't smell like fish I'd wonder what was wrong with it. Admittedly the sort of thing that "smells like fish" in the same way that cat farts "smell like fish" is probably best avoided. You'd love octopus sushi - you get the raw fish sensation while also knowing you're eating a slice of tentacle. My wife can't even stand the thought of eating octopus. One time in a Korean restaurant I ordered an octopus dish, and it showed up as basically a load of 2" lengths of tentacle. I loved it, but apparently the mere sight of it made her feel ill. Which was a shame, because it meant we never went back to that restaurant.
Post by: ian on 07 August, 2015, 10:46:34 am
Fish, in general, should come in a finger format.
Ah, the concord grape. It's basically a sweet.
Post by: ian on 07 August, 2015, 10:50:15 am
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
(https://notanotherfrozenshouldersurgeryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/swedish-chef.jpg)
I didn't realise he did fish as well as chicken.
And there I am, at a formal business dinner, wearing my most sensible face, being introduced to the chef of one Stockholm's most famous dining establishment. And that's the very image that won't leave my brain.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 August, 2015, 10:53:52 am
Pickled isn't raw....
I'd rather have that than the smoked eel again.
Smoked eel is teh Aces though should ideally be served with a glass of schnapps "to clean one's fingers".
Pickled anything is deeply suspect. If a foodstuff wants to go off, let it, and throw it away or feed it to the staff/poor children/pigs.
Post by: ian on 07 August, 2015, 11:03:30 am
There is actually no upper limit on the number of pickled cucumbers and gherkins I can eat in one session.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 August, 2015, 11:17:12 am
And pickling isn't cooking. Leaving a dead thing in a vat of acid isn't cooking. It's a way of disposing of the evidence.
(Sings)
I should have listened to Pop Tart Mark
And had the head dissolved in acid by a Belgian clean up team
(Bows to audience, splits trousis)
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 07 August, 2015, 12:30:57 pm
And pickling isn't cooking. Leaving a dead thing in a vat of acid isn't cooking. It's a way of disposing of the evidence.When I was a small, my mum once found me sitting on the kitchen floor with a spoon and a jar of pickled onions, steadily eating my way through them.
There is actually no upper limit on the number of pickled cucumbers and gherkins I can eat in one session.
Post by: CrinklyLion on 07 August, 2015, 12:45:54 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 07 August, 2015, 03:10:16 pm
That is all.
Post by: fuzzy on 07 August, 2015, 03:26:49 pm
Now, correct me if I am wrong but, Monterey Jack Cheese looks like this (http://www.finecooking.com/item/5526/monterey-jack). If it looks like this (http://www.roundeyesupply.com/Bay-Valley-Saucemaker-Monterey-Jack-Cheese-Sauce-p/de519930.htm), shirley it is sauce?
Post by: ian on 07 August, 2015, 04:00:58 pm
Now Mr Fuzzy, to your your issue.
A proper Philly cheesesteak will typically have cheese sauce, often the aforementioned Cheez Whiz, so Wetherspoons are being surprisingly authentic. Generally you can also ask for provolone or american, but I'm pretty sure not Monterey Jack, as that's a west coast abomination. In cheesesteak ordering parlance, it's a 'one whiz with' (one cheesesteak with Cheez Whiz and fried onions). You could go for a 'one american with' which would net you American cheese (so bland it's utterly fantastic) with fried onions. 'One Monterey Jack with' would probably just get you thrown out.
Post by: L CC on 07 August, 2015, 04:08:38 pm
There was no apparent limit on the amount of Great Granny Isobel's homemade pickled beetroot (homegrown by Great Grandad Bill) that I would eat if left to my own devices as a small child.Eating beetroot as an adult makes your bloody pee look normal.
Yes really. I thought it was beetroot. Apparently no it was not. ::-) :-[
Post by: contango on 09 August, 2015, 04:38:15 am
Having given it some thought, I can probably eat all the pickled vegetables in the world. Beetroot are purple loveliness in the jar, red cabbage, pickled onions, you name it. Pickled animal or fish parts, no, that's back into evidence disposal. I also flagrantly disregard the 'use within 5 days' warnings. I believe in living on the edge and intestinal parkour.
Pickled onions are good. Pickled onions loaded with black peppercorns and hot peppers are really good. My wife usually declines to kiss me for a while after eating them, which seems like it's the only downside to an otherwise awesome product.
Can't argue with the abomination that is pickling animal or fish parts. Almost as disgusting as advocaat. Maybe advocaat is a blend of fish that decomposed in vinegar and the contents of the zits on a thousand teenagers' faces.
Post by: hellymedic on 09 August, 2015, 11:41:46 am
They are part of my heritage/growing up.
Post by: Andrij on 09 August, 2015, 12:02:11 pm
Post by: Jurek on 09 August, 2015, 12:21:43 pm
Pickled herring, gherkin, rye bread and vodka. YUMMY!Yes.
The only weird thing is that given none of it contains any MSG, once you start, it is hard to stop.
Post by: ian on 10 August, 2015, 09:42:08 am
Actually, I tell a big lie, there was the boil-in-bag fish fillets with parsley sauce. Until I was about fifteen, Captain Birdseye was pretty much the only deity in my pantheon who pulled my eyes skyward.
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it? If not, why it's still there? I hate having it piled up there in the corner of my plate like my dinner has untidily undressed. I think the next time it happens I just ball it up in a napkin and have the waiter take it back to the kitchen. If the chef likes it so much, he can have it back.
Post by: ian on 18 August, 2015, 09:41:36 pm
I also disgusted my wife by eating pancakes with eggs, sausage, and Canadian 'bacon' in a sea of maple syrup and butter. I also ate fried chicken on a huge belgian waffle (with spicy aioli and maple syrup) while working my way through the bar's extensive list of craft beer. She believes the the combination of meat and sweet is fundamentally wrong and may result in the collapse of the universe. I say bring on the galactic crunch.
Post by: Jurek on 18 August, 2015, 09:54:45 pm
After a long weekend in NYC, I'm disappointed to report that all my food was served on plates. Nothing came to me astride a piece of slate, a discarded licence plate, hub cap, or manhole cover.
I also disgusted my wife by eating pancakes with eggs, sausage, and Canadian 'bacon' in a sea of maple syrup and butter. I also ate fried chicken on a huge belgian waffle (with spicy aioli and maple syrup) while working my way through the bar's extensive list of craft beer. She believes the the combination of meat and sweet is fundamentally wrong and may result in the collapse of the universe. I say bring on the galactic crunch.
Ian, what are you on? :P
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 August, 2015, 12:37:38 am
Post by: barakta on 19 August, 2015, 12:53:08 am
(The caterer subcontracted to our venue (who they have to use and we had to have to use venue) decided not to read page 2 of our dietary requirements specs which we'd spent HOURS OF WORK wrangling)... We had about 50 minutes notice of this fail when their lovely contact checked our diet needs and we said "this is only 20% of it"...
We managed to mostly fix it with "basic" food for veganish gluten freeish and anyone else with only a 15-20 minute delay on food but I really didn't appreciate the stress and the blame. Fucking university fucking caterers. When we are less cross we will RANT at them in formal proper manner.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 August, 2015, 01:00:14 am
Maple syrup would be my guess.
ETA: I'm not actually that keen on maple syrup. Will I still be allowed into Canada if they find out?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 August, 2015, 09:30:59 am
Post by: ian on 19 August, 2015, 11:21:28 am
And then the glistening fork was proffered to me. Have a taste, she hissed, in what must be some kind of payback for the entire Garden of Eden thing. I was caught between making a break for the Canadian border or opening wide to receive the golden cargo. Given that she was a girl and I was a boy, and that the lowering of the drawbridge to sexual favours is mostly lubricated by the oils of male acquiescence, I chomped down.
And oh my, what culinary alchemy rolled over my tongue like a happy sumo of flavour. To this day, I have stuff my face with pancakes whenever I'm in the US. I once ate so many in LA that I genuinely thought I was on the teetering end of the final trimester of delivering an entire buttermilk pancake baby.
Post by: Kim on 19 August, 2015, 01:01:49 pm
It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
The only way you can sum up the catering requirements for BiCon in a couple of paragraphs is: "Don't do it. Don't even think about it. The only way to win is not to play."
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 August, 2015, 01:40:01 pm
Ob food rant: Someone* left a large jar of Dolmio 'lasagne sauce' in the fridge and I have been tricked into eating some. It really is foul stuff.
*It was Mrs Cudzo. She claims to even like the stuff. It's the obstinate Polish streak breaking out.
Post by: barakta on 19 August, 2015, 11:13:37 pm
It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
We kept telling them we have loads of awkward diet people and were PROMISED it wouldn't be a problem. It wouldn't have been a problem IF the fucking caterer had read the full spec. I really do want some kind of financial recompense FROM the caterer for that cos Friday was just fuckup central.
Post by: contango on 20 August, 2015, 03:07:01 am
After a long weekend in NYC, I'm disappointed to report that all my food was served on plates. Nothing came to me astride a piece of slate, a discarded licence plate, hub cap, or manhole cover.
I also disgusted my wife by eating pancakes with eggs, sausage, and Canadian 'bacon' in a sea of maple syrup and butter. I also ate fried chicken on a huge belgian waffle (with spicy aioli and maple syrup) while working my way through the bar's extensive list of craft beer. She believes the the combination of meat and sweet is fundamentally wrong and may result in the collapse of the universe. I say bring on the galactic crunch.
Your wife clearly knows nothing about food. That is all.
Actually that isn't all. She should be forced to eat sausage and bacon with stacked blueberry muffins drowned in a vat of maple syrup (the stuff that comes from maple trees, not the garbage that's little more than high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners and artificial flavourings) until she disowns such a heretical stance.
I guess you managed to avoid foods with names that end in "on a stick". Gary Larson did a cartoon of early business failures, featuring "porcupine on a stick".
Post by: contango on 20 August, 2015, 03:08:05 am
Maple syrup would be my guess.
ETA: I'm not actually that keen on maple syrup. Will I still be allowed into Canada if they find out?
I wouldn't try it. People have been shot for less, although that might have been in Alabama.
Post by: contango on 20 August, 2015, 03:10:09 am
Speaking of maple syrup I recently attended a farm festival where people were selling a range of craft foody type products. I'd gone to visit a friend who makes stupidly hot pepper sauces (which are hugely tasty, loaded with capsaicin, and prone to turn the teenagers trying to prove they are tough in front of their girlfriends into sobbing wrecks, which can be fun to watch)
We met a couple who make maple syrup the traditional way, and bought some maple syrup, maple spread and maple sugar. I shudder to think what it would do to my blood sugar level if I were to eat even half of that lot. I'm not diabetic but suspect I might appear to be after that lot.
Post by: ian on 20 August, 2015, 10:52:14 am
Faux maple syrup is a crime in any jurisdiction and one I will not abide. Fortunately I know my NYC diners and thus minimize the risk of 'Canadian-style maple flavored syrup'. The further south you sink, the riskier the proposition gets. In California, for some reason, I once ended up with agave syrup which wasn't as bad as it sounded. It could have been worse, it might have been avocado syrup.
I've experienced food on sticks. I don't think there's anything in the mid-west that they can't deliver deep-fried on a stick, and I won't say anything bad about the mighty corn dog. Someone once tried to serve me fried clams on a stick. I don't like shellfish at the best of times and they're one of the few things that even immersion in a deep vat of hot oil can't improve. I once attended an American football game that lasted what felt like eighteen long weeks and I only survived through eating eight corn dogs and stetson size helping of nachos. My great American novel will be based on this epic struggle for survival.
Reminds me, cafes in the UK that put random cheap brown sauce in the HP bottles because it must save like, oh, pence. Stop it.
Right, I'm off to Paris. There's bound to be a rant in that. I can feel those Parisian waiters bristling already. Poor schoolboy French locked and loaded. It's the only way to neutralize those surly waiters.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 August, 2015, 11:40:25 am
I wonder if they read it all? Clearly, they shouldn't have said they'd do it if they hadn't checked the whole thing. I'm only thinking from their point of view why they didn't read it and how next year's caterers could be encouraged to do so.It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
We kept telling them we have loads of awkward diet people and were PROMISED it wouldn't be a problem. It wouldn't have been a problem IF the fucking caterer had read the full spec. I really do want some kind of financial recompense FROM the caterer for that cos Friday was just fuckup central.
Post by: Gareth Rees on 20 August, 2015, 11:50:13 am
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Yes, if it's properly cooked. There's a delicious layer of fat just under the skin, and this becomes crispy if fried, and takes on the flavour of whatever delicious things the fish was cooked in. Fry the fish with finely chopped hazelnuts and crushed garlic, or steam it with ginger and spring onion, or coat it with tamarind and chillies and deep-fry it, and the skin is the best bit.
If the skin is limp, tastes of nothing, or still has lots of scales, then don't eat it. But I wouldn't go back to a restaurant that served fish like this: they clearly don't know what they are doing.
Post by: Tigerrr on 20 August, 2015, 01:04:23 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 August, 2015, 02:46:28 pm
Proper maple syrup is quite alcoholic too.um - no it isn't.
I've helped make it. Get the buckets of sap from the trees. Pour into large shallow tray and heat for hours, to reduce the sap to syrup.
Trust me, no alcohol in it.
Post by: rafletcher on 20 August, 2015, 03:17:58 pm
I've experienced food on sticks. I don't think there's anything in the mid-west that they can't deliver deep-fried on a stick, and I won't say anything bad about the mighty corn dog.
There was an article on the BBC website about food on a stick a couple of day ago..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33943760
Deep fried butter on a stick anyone :sick:
Post by: campagman on 20 August, 2015, 08:33:53 pm
Post by: Gareth Rees on 20 August, 2015, 08:47:55 pm
Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
Post by: contango on 21 August, 2015, 01:33:50 am
Oddly, one of the first things that happened to me when I arrived in Canada was a trip to a maple syrup farm, possibly to establish for the stupid and misplaced Englishman that it doesn't come out of sugary cows. After that we climbed Mount Canadian stereotype for a game of ice hockey. But yes, maple syrup should be squeezed out of maple trees by burly, plaid shirted Eh-Eh-Ehing Canadians. At a pinch I'll accept Vermonters who are effectively sneaking out of the US when no one is looking (if I remember, there's a on town on the border with a theatre where you can actually enter in the US and watch the show in Canada).
That could be fun for the immigration folks. I wonder why there isn't a corresponding theatre on the south border, where you can enter in Mexico and watch the show in Texas....
Quote
Faux maple syrup is a crime in any jurisdiction and one I will not abide. Fortunately I know my NYC diners and thus minimize the risk of 'Canadian-style maple flavored syrup'. The further south you sink, the riskier the proposition gets. In California, for some reason, I once ended up with agave syrup which wasn't as bad as it sounded.
I was alerted to the way not all "maple syrup" has been anywhere near a maple tree when I stopped overnight with some friends just outside of Philadelphia a few years ago. In the morning they served an enormous plateful of waffles and pancakes and other American breakfasty stuff, which they smothered with syrup from a bottle. It was only after I had poured it over my own pancakes that I realised the word "flavored" was tucked between "maple" and "syrup" in a nice small font. Sure enough, the ingredients read something like "corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, saccharine, acesulfame, artificial flavorings". So nothing that came out of a tree there.
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It could have been worse, it might have been avocado syrup.
Never mind avocado, it could have been advocaat :P
Quote
Reminds me, cafes in the UK that put random cheap brown sauce in the HP bottles because it must save like, oh, pence. Stop it.
It's amazing what places will do to save a trivial sum of money when the end result is that you feel like they've cheaped out on you. When I think how cheap potatoes are it's amazing how many times you get a tiny portion of chips. The times I've had my meal come out and could barely lift the plate because of the weight of the chips, my first thought was what a good size portion they served. The extra couple of potatoes must have cost at least 20p, which doesn't seem like so much if I've paid 15 quid for a meal. Giving me six chips stacked with three on top of three might look poncey but gives me the impression you're just ripping me off and expecting me to admire the process.
Quote
Right, I'm off to Paris. There's bound to be a rant in that. I can feel those Parisian waiters bristling already. Poor schoolboy French locked and loaded. It's the only way to neutralize those surly waiters.
That could be fun. The last time I was in Paris I tried to use my pidgeon French and ended up ordering a steak tartare. That was an interesting experience, although once the waiter had stopped laughing he was willing to take it away and cook it. It came back rather like a spicy hamburger. For a while I almost thought I was back in Americaland, except that it wasn't smothered in banana peppers and the curious not-cheese-cheese-product.
Post by: contango on 21 August, 2015, 01:34:44 am
Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
As long as you enunciate clearly you should be fine.
If you ask "can I have a pint of milk please" that should be understood. If you mumble and they think you said "can I have some tuberculosis please" you could have problems.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 August, 2015, 09:42:25 am
Giving me six chips stacked with three on top of three might look poncey but gives me the impression you're just ripping me off and expecting me to admire the process.You mean there are times when food might look poncey without giving you the impression you're being ripped off?
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 August, 2015, 09:46:10 am
Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
Post by: rafletcher on 21 August, 2015, 12:14:54 pm
https://www.food.gov.uk/business-industry/farmingfood/dairy-guidance/rawmilkcream
Post by: Gareth Rees on 21 August, 2015, 01:33:09 pm
- Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk? — Because only a few dairies (just 200 in the UK, out of roughly 10,000) are licensed to sell raw milk, so most people don't have a local dairy that does so. The nearest one to me is Longwood Organic Farm (http://longwoodfarm.co.uk/) in Tuddenham, about 36 km away, which is a long way to cycle for a pint of milk.
- Why are there so few licensed dairies? — Because the inspection procedures (https://www.food.gov.uk/business-industry/farmingfood/dairy-guidance/rawmilkcream) are onerous and the benefits to the farm are low (they are only allowed to sell direct to the consumer, not through wholesalers or retailers).
- Why is the inspection procedure so onerous, and why the restrictions on sale? — Because of the risk of transmission of various infections, including tuberculosis.
Post by: menthel on 21 August, 2015, 01:50:43 pm
Post by: contango on 23 August, 2015, 04:34:13 am
Giving me six chips stacked with three on top of three might look poncey but gives me the impression you're just ripping me off and expecting me to admire the process.You mean there are times when food might look poncey without giving you the impression you're being ripped off?
In some settings I can see that looking poncey and being expensive might not necessarily mean being ripped off. Although in fairness chips are unlikely to feature on such a menu.
Post by: contango on 23 August, 2015, 04:36:01 am
Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
I remember as a teenager (with zits full of the stuff used to make advocaat) we used to get raw milk from our milkman. It came in a carton much like any other milk, except the carton said "raw unpasteurised milk" rather than "pasteurised milk".
From what I recall it tasted much the same as regular milk.
Post by: hellymedic on 23 August, 2015, 01:22:06 pm
Post by: ian on 23 August, 2015, 06:43:10 pm
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Yes, if it's properly cooked. There's a delicious layer of fat just under the skin, and this becomes crispy if fried, and takes on the flavour of whatever delicious things the fish was cooked in. Fry the fish with finely chopped hazelnuts and crushed garlic, or steam it with ginger and spring onion, or coat it with tamarind and chillies and deep-fry it, and the skin is the best bit.
If the skin is limp, tastes of nothing, or still has lots of scales, then don't eat it. But I wouldn't go back to a restaurant that served fish like this: they clearly don't know what they are doing.
I'm writing off fish in general, it's pretty much reached its culinary epitome when breaded and divided into neat fingers. I can manage battered fish, though it tends to be a bit of a faff and I reach my grease quota about halfway through the average battered haddock and my insides start to feel like an oil-slicked seagull looks. There is no actual limit to the amount of tuna or salmon from a tin I can eat though. Me and the cats could empty the oceans if they could squeeze out enough cans of the stuff. Fresh tuna makes me angry because chefs always insist on leaving it raw in the middle. My thoughts on sushi and sashimi ought to be well-known by now.
Fresh fish, mostly always overrated. You must try the seabass someone will demand. It's tastes like the colour white might taste. Now maybe you can concoct some kind of sauce, but if so, tip it over something useful that doesn't cost £5 a mouthful.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 August, 2015, 10:11:32 am
Post by: rafletcher on 24 August, 2015, 01:38:48 pm
I guess knowing the individual cow it came from reduces the risk of disease.
Since tubercular cows look much like other cows I seriously doubt that.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 August, 2015, 03:16:06 pm
Post by: ian on 24 August, 2015, 07:29:09 pm
France was a bit of a let down, all said, the big league surly waiters are evidently on their holidays. There was an burst of optimism on the first night when some foul gallic harridan desoléd us because we had sat in the ‘diners only’ section for our boisson before gesturing to a space that omitted spare seats and tables. I wouldn’t have minded but we were already surrounded by non-mange-ing boissonaires extraordinaires, or the fact that at nine euros for a puny europint, eating was probably cheaper. We just pulled a face and she went and hid in a cupboard. She might still be there.
Fab cheeseburger though. Note that London restaurants, a point means just that, not cooked in the heart of a star for an eternity.
Post by: hellymedic on 24 August, 2015, 11:28:26 pm
Post by: Kim on 25 August, 2015, 12:00:46 am
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I quite liked it, but I only got about a year and a half of it.
I had to explain "milk monitors" to barakta recently. She's the same age as me, but missed out on many of the subtitles of the early years.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 August, 2015, 12:07:24 am
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
No. No, you are not. 'twas veritable nectar compared with the alternative beverages available at my skool viz. piss-weak orange squash, a lemon squash/citric acid combination that doubled as paint stripper and tea that had been made shortly after Willoughby-Smith Minor and Twistington-Higgins went off to the Great War. We only had it as junior ticks so I don't know how long supplies continued after 1975.
They should have supplied Small BEER instead, though.
Post by: hellymedic on 25 August, 2015, 12:08:46 am
My sister (17 months my junior) is probably lactose intolerant and hated school milk.
I loved my milk!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 August, 2015, 12:21:23 am
Except the pickled beetroot, which was locally sourced, foul, and on the plate Every. Fucking. Day >:( I think it was the natives' revenge for the bombing of Dresden.
Post by: contango on 25 August, 2015, 05:18:44 am
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Yes, if it's properly cooked. There's a delicious layer of fat just under the skin, and this becomes crispy if fried, and takes on the flavour of whatever delicious things the fish was cooked in. Fry the fish with finely chopped hazelnuts and crushed garlic, or steam it with ginger and spring onion, or coat it with tamarind and chillies and deep-fry it, and the skin is the best bit.
If the skin is limp, tastes of nothing, or still has lots of scales, then don't eat it. But I wouldn't go back to a restaurant that served fish like this: they clearly don't know what they are doing.
I'm writing off fish in general, it's pretty much reached its culinary epitome when breaded and divided into neat fingers. I can manage battered fish, though it tends to be a bit of a faff and I reach my grease quota about halfway through the average battered haddock and my insides start to feel like an oil-slicked seagull looks. There is no actual limit to the amount of tuna or salmon from a tin I can eat though. Me and the cats could empty the oceans if they could squeeze out enough cans of the stuff. Fresh tuna makes me angry because chefs always insist on leaving it raw in the middle. My thoughts on sushi and sashimi ought to be well-known by now.
Tuna needs to be seared on the outside and raw on the inside. People who don't understand this simple fact really didn't ought to be writing food rants :P
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Fresh fish, mostly always overrated. You must try the seabass someone will demand. It's tastes like the colour white might taste. Now maybe you can concoct some kind of sauce, but if so, tip it over something useful that doesn't cost £5 a mouthful.
I must admit I was rather disappointed with the "delicate" taste of sea bass. It seemed "delicate" in taste in the same way that eating a maruga scorpion pepper might be described as "indelicate". And the resulting depositions into the porcelain god the following morning might also be described as "indelicate".
For the record, I ate a very small amount of a maruga scorpion pepper. Touching the cut surface to my tongue was moderately intense, and chewing tiny bites of the flesh was very intense. It's not something I would recommend to anyone who isn't already something of a chilehead.
Post by: contango on 25 August, 2015, 05:21:33 am
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
Post by: madcow on 25 August, 2015, 09:13:47 am
Unpasteurised milk. Jeez, what next? A smallpox revival? I don't drink milk unless it's been zapped, filtered, and irradiated into something that wouldn’t even recognise actual milk from a cow. I remember full fat milk as a child. It used to make me heave. The best thing Thatcher ever did was get rid of those little bottles of milk at our school, they'd sit there half the day, the cream steadily congealing into a trampoline of fat, and then we had to drink it, trying to recover some milk from the bottle through a process akin to fracking with a straw, desperate not to choke on a clot of lard from the top. I remember when David 'Donkey' Derbyshire went full on vomit after a bottle that had sat there sweltering for a good five hours of summer day whereupon he simultaneously ejaculated two jets of milk out of his nostrils, followed by his entire school dinner. At no point, did his mouth open, everything had to exit through the narrower streets of his nose. He started firing peas and carrots like a nasal Gatling gun before ending in a terminal snuffle of mashed potato and chewed up sausage that made it look like his brains were oozing out of his head (the only giveaway was that Donkey never had that much brains). You can't possibly know how traumatic that was to our young minds. I don't think our teacher ever returned to teaching.
You forgot to mention that in winter , the bottles would have a good half inch or more of ice in them which is difficult to penetrate with a cheap paper ,yes paper, straw. So milk crates were then placed near the cast iron radiator to allow the ice to melt a little. The resulting mush probably put more kids off drinking milk than any threat of T.B .
I was brought up on a dairy farm so our milk came straight out of the cooler and was fresh every day.
When I started school and saw milk in bottles, I decided that it wasn't real milk and most days I couldn't bring myself to drink it. I still don't like to drink milk unless it has some flavour in it.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 August, 2015, 09:23:57 am
Post by: ian on 25 August, 2015, 09:47:26 am
Post by: hellymedic on 25 August, 2015, 02:41:51 pm
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 August, 2015, 08:40:04 pm
We always had green top milk when I lived in Huddersfield. It's much nicer than other milk.Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 August, 2015, 08:42:11 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 August, 2015, 08:45:07 pm
Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
Post by: ian on 25 August, 2015, 09:15:34 pm
Loads of foods make me fart, some quite extravagantly. The undergarment storms that result from me eating beans are so mighty they are given names and attract grim faced junior reporters from the Weather Channel who would rather had been sent to stand in front of a hurricane with nothing more than a microphone and cheap cagoule. I only announce this on the internet, not to a crowded restaurant like it's an achievement. Just stop it.
Post by: jsabine on 25 August, 2015, 09:25:05 pm
In other matters, gluten intolerance, when did that become a lifestyle. Hey everyone, I'm gluten intolerant. Seriously lady, I don't even know your name and already you're telling me which foods might make you fart.
Well, in my brother's case, in about 1980, when one lot of doctors got their fingers out of their collective arse and produced a diagnosis that had evaded others since he was born three years earlier, just about in time to stop my parents killing him because Weetabix was about the only thing that would stay down.
It might not be a lifestyle he'd choose, but it sure as fuck beats the alternative.
(Ok, ok, coeliac disease is less an intolerance, more an auto-immune thing, but these things aren't just a fad for everyone.)
Post by: hellymedic on 25 August, 2015, 10:02:49 pm
Coeliac disease is horrible but tolerable with a strict gluten-free diet.
It is vaguely useful for coeliacs that the availability of gluten-free food has increased to meet demand from the chatterers.
Post by: jsabine on 25 August, 2015, 11:02:33 pm
Not everyone who makes a dietary request is engaged in frivolous self-aggrandisement, and the assumption that they are, so such a request can safely be ignored, has damn near put my wife in hospital several times. (Eggs, not gluten, in her case.)
Post by: Kim on 25 August, 2015, 11:45:29 pm
The problem with invisible disabilities is that you don't usually encounter people's disableist behaviour until you disclose them, and sometimes - perhaps as a result of the chattering fads, but mainly as a result of people in positions of power being arrogant fuckwits - people feel the need to be really emphatic about the magnitude of the problem in order to reduce the likelihood of careless contamination.
I really don't want to talk about poo. I get more than enough of that in the privacy of the toilet. But if all that's on the menu is a tomato & onion greaseburger, cooked in the traditional Glaswegian style and served in a toasted sesame[1] seed bun, I'm going to politely refuse. If polite refusals aren't strong enough (as often they aren't - see drinkohol threads passim), I'll
[1] Unrelated allergy. Not life-threatening, unless I'm already having a bad breathing day. Probably.
Post by: barakta on 25 August, 2015, 11:48:15 pm
But yes, I agree. Same with lactose. I'm not 100% intolerant, just annoyingly so - it's tedious and boring and makes buying ready cooked/made food very difficult although not as difficult as coeliacs have it. But I will get TMI guts for 2 days afterwards if I am given regular milk by mistake and I am sure if I drank more than 50ml milk that I'd be iller.
Post by: hellymedic on 26 August, 2015, 12:10:42 am
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
Post by: jsabine on 26 August, 2015, 12:36:05 am
Coeliac disease is much more serious.
For a one-off, no, I don't think it is. Force-feed my brother a sandwich, and he'll have little or no ill-effects from it. Change his diet more permanently, and you've written a different story, but there's certainly no point worrying too hard about crumbs in the butter, albeit they're best avoided as a bit infra-dig.
Same with lactose. I'm not 100% intolerant, just annoyingly so - it's tedious and boring and makes buying ready cooked/made food very difficult although not as difficult as coeliacs have it.
Not sure that he really finds it that hard to be honest - it's just a matter of finding an appropriate routine, especially now that every supermarket has a FreeFrom section.
No egg/wheat/nut/mushroom/shellfish can be entertaining sometimes though - mostly I just give up and cook from scratch.
people who might previously have suffered in silence at home are now feeling they have the right, if not always the ability, to safely eat out.
That's an interesting point. I guess I've not really considered it too much because, growing up, I was never really aware of us not eating out because of my brother's diet. (In truth, the fact that steak and chips is practically universally available meant that there was always a possible option, even if it was sometimes a tedious one.)
More recently, it's been more obvious where some chefs or restaurants simply don't seem to give a monkey's, while others are quite different - going out to a nice place in Edinburgh for one of my parents' birthdays and booking the tasting menu, we supplied an impressively long list of dietary requirements, to be told "that'll be no problem - the chef believes everyone should be able to enjoy the meal equally."
This included suitable homemade bread that was gluten, wheat and egg-free: sadly subsequent visits (for a more modest menu) have revealed that they've started buying in the gluten-free bread, which now contains egg - fine for my brother, not so for my wife.
Still, steak and chips remains the universal panacea - at least unless you're vegetarian ... or a Parisian waiter insists that they haven't wiped the bearnaise sauce off the plate, and that there's no egg in it anyway.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 August, 2015, 09:42:13 am
OTOH, I've just discovered the minimum regulation size of a cricket ball is 8 13/16 inches. But presumably that was set empirically.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 August, 2015, 09:49:33 am
Though it would help if staff knew what they had and didn't have. Bakery down the road advertises gluten-free goodies Monday, Friday and Saturday. I went in one Sat morning to get something for a gluten-allergic (or whatever it is) friend, bloke there had to phone the boss at home to find out what they had and where (which turned out to be left over from the previous day ::-)).
Post by: ian on 26 August, 2015, 10:15:32 am
And yes, she might not be pleased by the self-diagnosed company, but she pleased to get her own section of the supermarket aisle and some understanding from the world. But hey, this is a rant, and I think we know that a lot of these self-diagnosed food intolerances are rebranded look-at-me faddism.
Which given, after loudly exhausting the menu, she ordered a pizza, I'll say her intolerance was taking the night off.
We all react differently to food stuff. I literally cannot eat beans without significant pain. And I remember the fateful description from a colorectal surgeon former colleague of mine of the man who farted so badly that his insides fell out. Apparently it looked like a 'giant bloody cauliflower'. He fair ruined my dessert with that description. Never share an office with bum surgeons and urologists.
Post by: ian on 26 August, 2015, 10:19:30 am
Restaurants/cafes/brasseries of Paris and Versailles: vegetarians exist and we are willing to exchange money for food. Sort it out.
When I was a vegetarian one of my French friends called it a 'malady of the stomach', then after a moment or three of contemplation, she tapped me in the middle of the forehead and added 'and the brain' before going to off to smoke cigarettes and watch arty moves in tiny cinemas and whatever else it is that the French do when they're not insulting me. I recall eating a lot of omelettes.
Post by: Jaded on 26 August, 2015, 11:12:05 am
Post by: contango on 27 August, 2015, 05:36:00 am
Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
No reason to resize to 200ml when things were measured in imperial.
It makes no more sense than insisting that the 25.4mm length be rounded down to an "easier" 25mm. It might work better in metric but the reduction from 1" to 0.984" isn't going to please the people using the original units.
An ongoing gripe for me (unrelated to food, but what the heck) was the way imperial units were abandoned in a way that made what could have been a simple job into a major job. Trying to replace a 3-foot-square shower tray was an experience when things were metric, where a 1-metre-square unit didn't fit and a 90-cm-square unit left enough space at the edges I might as well have sprayed all the water over the floor and been done with it.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still getting rich from selling pipe connectors to join 1/2" pipe to 15mm pipe.
Post by: contango on 27 August, 2015, 05:37:05 am
We all react differently to food stuff. I literally cannot eat beans without significant pain. And I remember the fateful description from a colorectal surgeon former colleague of mine of the man who farted so badly that his insides fell out. Apparently it looked like a 'giant bloody cauliflower'. He fair ruined my dessert with that description. Never share an office with bum surgeons and urologists.
I never liked cauliflower anyway. Probably just as well having read that. Still, I guess you can be thankful he didn't share his description during a meal of cauliflower and tomato sauce.
Post by: contango on 27 August, 2015, 05:39:32 am
School milk. We used to purloin bottles and stash them were they wouldn't be found. The aim was to get an extrusion of stuff that looked like cream from a spray can (and smelt litkeit too) with the foil cap perched on top. Under it would be a swirly mix of a greenish fluid and white wispy clumps. Marvellous.
In my university days the shared fridge in the shared kitchen was a sure-fire way to make sure your stuff got stolen between you putting it in the fridge and hoping to take it back out of the fridge.
A friend got so sick of stuff being stolen he took a mould of a Yorkie bar, then bought a bar of chocolate exlax which he melted and poured into the mould. Folding the Yorkie paper around it he left it in the fridge, until a few days later it mysteriously vanished. About a day later all the toilet paper also mysteriously vanished, and no further thefts took place from his fridge for a while.
One term I bought a pint of milk but only needed a splash from the top. I left it in the communal fridge figuring someone would make good use of it. Except that 9 weeks later it was still sitting there, had acquired a personality of its own, and I think was part way through studying for a degree in philosophy.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 August, 2015, 11:45:22 am
Bike parts are weird in this respect. Why do we have 11/4" headsets but 31.8mm bars? Apart from Deda, who make 31.7mm bars – but it's the same size, just rounded down instead of up.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
No reason to resize to 200ml when things were measured in imperial.
It makes no more sense than insisting that the 25.4mm length be rounded down to an "easier" 25mm. It might work better in metric but the reduction from 1" to 0.984" isn't going to please the people using the original units.
An ongoing gripe for me (unrelated to food, but what the heck) was the way imperial units were abandoned in a way that made what could have been a simple job into a major job. Trying to replace a 3-foot-square shower tray was an experience when things were metric, where a 1-metre-square unit didn't fit and a 90-cm-square unit left enough space at the edges I might as well have sprayed all the water over the floor and been done with it.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still getting rich from selling pipe connectors to join 1/2" pipe to 15mm pipe.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 27 August, 2015, 01:03:05 pm
Almost certainly from the dairy I was talking about!We always had green top milk when I lived in Huddersfield. It's much nicer than other milk.Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
Post by: barakta on 27 August, 2015, 01:21:14 pm
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
That is useful, I will keep my eye out for those. Mostly it's stupidity on my part and not reading the sodding ingredients every single sodding time. There are some things I can get away with and others I really can't. Thankfully I don't get REALLY unwell, just slightly.
A lot also depends on sensitivity, my friend who got diagnosed with coeliac disease about 3-4 years ago is sensitive even to a crumb in her food and she often struggles with gluten-poisoning which makes her fluey and ill for 1-4 days. If in doubt I will always assume worst-case for someone reporting an intolerance/allergy even if they choose to increase their risk themselves or eat something they oughtn't (or cos they're being faddy).
Post by: contango on 27 August, 2015, 06:22:53 pm
Bike parts are weird in this respect. Why do we have 11/4" headsets but 31.8mm bars? Apart from Deda, who make 31.7mm bars – but it's the same size, just rounded down instead of up.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
No reason to resize to 200ml when things were measured in imperial.
It makes no more sense than insisting that the 25.4mm length be rounded down to an "easier" 25mm. It might work better in metric but the reduction from 1" to 0.984" isn't going to please the people using the original units.
An ongoing gripe for me (unrelated to food, but what the heck) was the way imperial units were abandoned in a way that made what could have been a simple job into a major job. Trying to replace a 3-foot-square shower tray was an experience when things were metric, where a 1-metre-square unit didn't fit and a 90-cm-square unit left enough space at the edges I might as well have sprayed all the water over the floor and been done with it.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still getting rich from selling pipe connectors to join 1/2" pipe to 15mm pipe.
Probably because of half-assed metrication.
I always found it irritating when food products simply turned the nice round number into a number that looked totally random unless you knew the old units.
When a 1lb Christmas pudding went metric they could have taken the chance to make it a nice round 500g but no, they labelled it as a "454g pudding". The larger size was 907g. Then came the bottle of milk that went from being 1 pint to being 568ml, although more recently I've seen milk sold by the litre rather than seemingly random fractions of a litre.
It can be fun to mix and match units for the sake of it, so you can have a piece of drill rod 1/4" in diameter and 50mm in length. It's good for winding people up, if not ideal for engineering purposes.
Post by: contango on 27 August, 2015, 06:26:23 pm
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
AIUI the guideline is something like three hours between eating milk and meat products. Apparently it originates from Exodus 23:19 that prohibits boiling a young goat in its mother's milk, but it seems to have gained layers of restriction over the years.
A Jewish friend of mine not only won't eat milk and meat products together, he won't eat one within three hours of eating the other, and has completely separate sets of cutlery and crockery for milk and meat dishes. In his kitchen he has two dishwashers - one for the meat dishes and one for the milk dishes. He doesn't describe himself as particularly strict, he knows people who are sufficiently strict they won't eat meat from a barbecue unless they know exactly what has been on it previously, in case it has been contaminated by something they regard as not kosher.
Post by: hellymedic on 27 August, 2015, 11:23:09 pm
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
AIUI the guideline is something like three hours between eating milk and meat products. Apparently it originates from Exodus 23:19 that prohibits boiling a young goat in its mother's milk, but it seems to have gained layers of restriction over the years.
A Jewish friend of mine not only won't eat milk and meat products together, he won't eat one within three hours of eating the other, and has completely separate sets of cutlery and crockery for milk and meat dishes. In his kitchen he has two dishwashers - one for the meat dishes and one for the milk dishes. He doesn't describe himself as particularly strict, he knows people who are sufficiently strict they won't eat meat from a barbecue unless they know exactly what has been on it previously, in case it has been contaminated by something they regard as not kosher.
All the members of my close family do all of that, including duplicated dishwashers.
The post meat milk abstinence is variable, depending on tradition.
Sephardi (Spanish, Portuguese & Oriental) Jews wait one hour.
Western Ashkenazi (Dutch, German) wait three hours.
Haredi usually wait six hours or 'into the sixth hour' (5+). This includes my sister and her kids.
Obviously, people get pretty hungry 5 hours after a meal so will want suitable snacks.
Post by: contango on 28 August, 2015, 04:59:20 am
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
AIUI the guideline is something like three hours between eating milk and meat products. Apparently it originates from Exodus 23:19 that prohibits boiling a young goat in its mother's milk, but it seems to have gained layers of restriction over the years.
A Jewish friend of mine not only won't eat milk and meat products together, he won't eat one within three hours of eating the other, and has completely separate sets of cutlery and crockery for milk and meat dishes. In his kitchen he has two dishwashers - one for the meat dishes and one for the milk dishes. He doesn't describe himself as particularly strict, he knows people who are sufficiently strict they won't eat meat from a barbecue unless they know exactly what has been on it previously, in case it has been contaminated by something they regard as not kosher.
All the members of my close family do all of that, including duplicated dishwashers.
The post meat milk abstinence is variable, depending on tradition.
Sephardi (Spanish, Portuguese & Oriental) Jews wait one hour.
Western Ashkenazi (Dutch, German) wait three hours.
Haredi usually wait six hours or 'into the sixth hour' (5+). This includes my sister and her kids.
Obviously, people get pretty hungry 5 hours after a meal so will want suitable snacks.
I didn't realise people waited different periods, I thought three hours was pretty standard.
My Jewish friend told me of a situation with a couple of his friends where one of them declined a particularly tasty side dish that had meat in it, much to the surprise of his dining companion. But his reasoning became clear an hour later when he had a large bowl of ice cream in the sun, while his companion couldn't because he had eaten meat too recently to be eating milk.
Do you know how the prohibition of boiling a kid in its mother's milk turned into a requirement to wait for so many hours between eating meat and milk? I can see that cooking meat in milk might be troublesome because we never know just which animal provided the milk but don't understand how, for example, putting a slice of cheese on a burger is in any way related to the prohibition and struggle even more with the idea that if you ate meat two hours ago you can't have a glass of milk now.
I fully appreciate where religious requirements are concerned the standard response is often "God said so", I just don't see where God actually did say so.
Post by: rafletcher on 28 August, 2015, 02:29:56 pm
I fully appreciate where religious requirements are concerned the standard response is often "God said so", I just don't see where God actually did say so.
It's also one of those where I can't see a practical benefit (unlike say not eating easily perishable pork or seafood in hot climes without preservation)
Post by: hellymedic on 28 August, 2015, 03:42:44 pm
It has been traditional to reinforce Rules with a precautionary 'fence'.
Too much fat and protein (costly foods in most economies) might be perceived as 'indulgent' or 'greedy'.
Post by: geraldc on 28 August, 2015, 04:57:06 pm
Post by: ian on 28 August, 2015, 05:22:12 pm
My first proper girlfriend (you can only have so much impropriety) was Jewish on her father's side (which probably meant she wasn't Jewish, isn't it matrilineal?), but anyway, areligious me got myself dragged along once-upon-a-time to gathering of her more remote orthodox relatives (they have better hats in Finchley, there should be a big orthodox hat league). Now that was a culture shock. Served me right for conscientiously objecting to RE and sitting in the corridor (not that I think Judaism got much coverage). In the end to avoid breaking any more rules I stood quietly in a corner not touching anything. It's hard work is religion. In Hell, they have cheeze whiz on tap and there's no lock-out period. You can use it as toothpaste or for comedy yellow moustaches. The Devil don't care. He encourages that sort of behaviour.
Thinking about it, I may have non-Koshered the entire gathering with my heathen stink. Mind you, she was lapsed about as far as you could lapse without being her father who I think the entire state of Judaism had disowned. He was probably the only thing they all agree on.
Post by: hellymedic on 28 August, 2015, 06:03:28 pm
My first proper girlfriend (you can only have so much impropriety) was Jewish on her father's side (which probably meant she wasn't Jewish, isn't it matrilineal?), but anyway, areligious me got myself dragged along once-upon-a-time to gathering of her more remote orthodox relatives (they have better hats in Finchley, there should be a big orthodox hat league).
Judaism is matrilineal.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Mrs Elswood pickled cucumbers are my usual pickle. Very Kosher!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 August, 2015, 06:16:36 pm
Judaism is matrilineal.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
The hats of Stamford Hill are extreme to the extent that as far away as San Francisco the locals of that part of North Londonton are sometimes known as "Stamford Hillbillies". It was on my commute for many a year.
Post by: Andrij on 28 August, 2015, 07:09:08 pm
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Last Saturday (the Sabbath, for those not in the know) I walked from Stoke Newington (close enough to Stamford Hill) to Hendon. There was quite an impressive range of head coverings on display along the way.
To bring things back on topic...
HOW MUCH for skate?!? OK, it was a large piece of fish, and not bad, but definitely not worth £8! Now I see why you have all your prices up on the board - except for your fish. Next time I'll ask the price is I ask for anyhting other than cod.
Post by: contango on 28 August, 2015, 10:14:42 pm
I fully appreciate where religious requirements are concerned the standard response is often "God said so", I just don't see where God actually did say so.
It's also one of those where I can't see a practical benefit (unlike say not eating easily perishable pork or seafood in hot climes without preservation)
Where religious requirements are concerned I don't suppose there has to be a specifically identifiable practical benefit, although in the days of the Exodus it's possible there was some health implication associated with meat and milk that came from the same animal.
Post by: contango on 28 August, 2015, 10:16:55 pm
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Last Saturday (the Sabbath, for those not in the know) I walked from Stoke Newington (close enough to Stamford Hill) to Hendon. There was quite an impressive range of head coverings on display along the way.
To bring things back on topic...
HOW MUCH for skate?!? OK, it was a large piece of fish, and not bad, but definitely not worth £8! Now I see why you have all your prices up on the board - except for your fish. Next time I'll ask the price is I ask for anyhting other than cod.
I went to a local county fair here in rural Pennsylvania and some guy wanted $10 for what he rather optimistically described as a "bucket of fries". So in other words that's $10 for a few more chips than you can put in a folded bit of paper.
On the flipside the deep fried Oreos were an experience. Not an entirely unpleasant one, at least from the perspective of my taste buds. I'm not sure my arteries would have rated it as highly. Hey ho, can't win them all.
Post by: Kim on 28 August, 2015, 10:29:37 pm
although in the days of the Exodus it's possible there was some health implication associated with meat and milk that came from the same animal.
Well, if we're talking about boiling goats in their own milk, and making uninformed guestimates about the capacity of the udder with respect to the volume of the entire goat, as well as the rate at which it's likely to re-fill, I'd say that unless you've got access to refrigeration it's an entirely stupid idea, rather than just kinky.
Post by: Jaded on 28 August, 2015, 10:37:24 pm
I guess he'd get pissed off if you could prove that shellfish goes off in hot weather because science.
Post by: contango on 29 August, 2015, 01:46:29 am
although in the days of the Exodus it's possible there was some health implication associated with meat and milk that came from the same animal.
Well, if we're talking about boiling goats in their own milk, and making uninformed guestimates about the capacity of the udder with respect to the volume of the entire goat, as well as the rate at which it's likely to re-fill, I'd say that unless you've got access to refrigeration it's an entirely stupid idea, rather than just kinky.
Sorry, I didn't word my post very well. The "meat from the same animal" was in the sense that the kid comes from the mother, as does the milk. Not that it was about boiling an animal in its own milk.
I'm still speculating, as someone already said it's easy to see why shellfish on a hot day without refrigeration is a Really Bad Idea although whether it's a bad idea because GOD or because SCIENCE doesn't change the fact it's a bad idea.
Post by: ian on 31 August, 2015, 07:17:45 pm
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 August, 2015, 07:21:12 pm
Post by: ian on 31 August, 2015, 07:40:34 pm
Post by: contango on 01 September, 2015, 01:13:57 am
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
It's one thing to start eating something that's got a simple unit price on it. If the packet of sandwiches says 3.99 on it then it's 3.99 whether it's full or empty. But what is the checkout assistant supposed to do with a banana skin when they are priced by weight?
It is pretty lame when people are apparently so hungry they can't wait a couple of minutes to pay for their food before eating it, and also so incompetent they couldn't have gone to the store a few minutes earlier to avoid the problem in the first place.
Post by: hellymedic on 01 September, 2015, 01:34:20 am
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
It's one thing to start eating something that's got a simple unit price on it. If the packet of sandwiches says 3.99 on it then it's 3.99 whether it's full or empty. But what is the checkout assistant supposed to do with a banana skin when they are priced by weight?
It is pretty lame when people are apparently so hungry they can't wait a couple of minutes to pay for their food before eating it, and also so incompetent they couldn't have gone to the store a few minutes earlier to avoid the problem in the first place.
I have to disagree.
When 20 AUKs hit a 24 hour garage at Audax o'clock and there is but one assistant to take money and stamp cards. Time waiting is time wasted and an AUK with plummeting sugar levels might not be a model of courtesy.
The flapjack wrapper will have the same bar code whether the flapjack has been eaten or not.
Best use of time is to eat in the queue, pay in good humour and use the garage's bin.
Post by: ian on 01 September, 2015, 11:48:55 am
Post by: L CC on 02 September, 2015, 04:49:30 pm
It's my little spit at The Man to eat Food before it's paid for. After all, I do that in every real restaurant, it's only the shit ones that make you pay up front.
Sometimes I 'steal' from other people's trolleys too. Because I can.
Post by: contango on 02 September, 2015, 06:03:22 pm
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
It's one thing to start eating something that's got a simple unit price on it. If the packet of sandwiches says 3.99 on it then it's 3.99 whether it's full or empty. But what is the checkout assistant supposed to do with a banana skin when they are priced by weight?
It is pretty lame when people are apparently so hungry they can't wait a couple of minutes to pay for their food before eating it, and also so incompetent they couldn't have gone to the store a few minutes earlier to avoid the problem in the first place.
I have to disagree.
When 20 AUKs hit a 24 hour garage at Audax o'clock and there is but one assistant to take money and stamp cards. Time waiting is time wasted and an AUK with plummeting sugar levels might not be a model of courtesy.
The flapjack wrapper will have the same bar code whether the flapjack has been eaten or not.
Best use of time is to eat in the queue, pay in good humour and use the garage's bin.
I suspect 20 AUKs hitting a 24-hour garage in the middle of the night is a relatively rare phenomenon, when compared to the supermarket at 3 in the afternoon where someone just doesn't feel like waiting.
As you say (and as I also mentioned) something with a simple unit price is easy enough but when you're looking at things sold by weight how is the checkout assistant supposed to know how much the banana once weighed, if all they have to go on is the empty skin?
Post by: contango on 02 September, 2015, 06:06:52 pm
Sometimes I 'steal' from other people's trolleys too. Because I can.
That's a good thought actually. Maybe we could form gangs to take bottles of advocaat out of peoples' trolleys and put them back on the shelves. You know we'd be doing them a favour even if they didn't realise it at the time.
I remember years ago there was some kind of people-watching type of documentary where a supermarket marked a single bottle of whisky down massively - think of dropping something from 29.99 to 9.99 or similar. But there was only one at that price, and it was very clearly marked. The bottle was tracked, and apparently some folks were quite irate when they left their trolley to wander down the aisle only to return and find "their" bottle had been taken. As staff said it isn't their bottle until they paid for it, and someone taking it from their trolley isn't doing anything wrong (issues of manners aside, but bad manners aren't a crime). I think from the point it got taken off the shelf to the point it got paid for it changed hands something like five times.
Post by: Basil on 02 September, 2015, 06:16:22 pm
Closer inspection always puts me off though, as other people's 'big shop' seems to suggest that their evening meal menu for the next week will consist solely of crisps, biscuits and pop, plus loaves of nasty bread.
Post by: contango on 03 September, 2015, 04:28:23 am
Mind you when I used to use UK supermarket loyalty schemes I sometimes liked to pick what I bought where based on how badly I could screw up the database profile they were keeping on me.
Post by: contango on 03 September, 2015, 04:30:40 am
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters, which is just as well as there's no way any mortal could be expected to carry the monstrous bags of popcorn and the enormous ice creams they inevitably seem to be eating.
It's hard not to have sympathy when you see someone in a scooter who looks like they are literally wasting away with tubes in their nose to help them breathe. It's harder to have sympathy for the people who are all but spherical yet still insist on eating more of the super-sized portions of fair food (aka junk, aka heart-attack-on-a-stick) as fast as they can.
Post by: ian on 03 September, 2015, 10:18:02 pm
Supermarket eaters used to upset my mum, as she had sort through their packaging midden for barcodes when she flew a till for Morrison's. She was a harsh critic of people's food choices. Well, food in general, she suffers from an advanced case of food racism and won't touch any foreign food. And I mean, won't touch. She can't apparently even handle a jar of curry sauce without feeling sick. She genuinely once had to go home because someone dropped a jar of korma next to her lane. It may as have well have Sarin nerve gas as far she was concerned. I'm not sure advanced food racism is an ideal skill for a supermarket till pilot. She was also the slowest ever because she had to gab to just about everyone. She's probably the reason they invented self-checkout. Nope, she won't even touch pasta. She'd still not forgiven me for getting married in Paris where no food item was above suspicion and I think she may have subsisted for the entire weekend on a piece of lettuce. Nor has my father, whose aversion to garlic would only be matched by Dracula were it not so apparent that he doesn't actually know what garlic is. He'll read food ingredients with the fervour of a bible-belt Baptist reading scripture, though he's looking for garlic rather than revelation.
You'll probably understand why the only restaurant I went to until the age of 18 was Wimpy. And I had to use the knife and fork.
Post by: Kim on 03 September, 2015, 10:33:41 pm
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
Because people with mobility impairments never put on weight as a result... >:(
Post by: ian on 03 September, 2015, 10:57:34 pm
Post by: contango on 04 September, 2015, 03:56:51 am
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
Because people with mobility impairments never put on weight as a result... >:(
I'm sure people with mobility issues do put on weight. Eating ice creams and bags of popcorn bigger than anything I've ever seen before is unlikely to help with the issue.
Post by: Tigerrr on 04 September, 2015, 05:01:28 am
When I bought my father a scooter, the salesman explained that warranty extension was not generally required as the average ownership of scooters is about 3 years. They are an end of life thing not a leisure accessory, to inconvenience legitimate healthy pavement and aisle shoppers.
Nobody buys these things for fun. Certainly true in my fathers case. Now he is dead we passed his scooter on to an old folks home and I see an old fat bloke on it from time to time. At least it enables him to get to the shops as I doubt he could walk much with his bloated body, and he obviously isn't all there upstairs.
I tend to find the spectacle of ill informed otherwise right-on fit cyclists pouring prejudicial scorn on others whose actual circumstances they know nothing of other than their weight a bit off-putting.
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2015, 10:03:58 am
That said, some people do seem to have fallen into the bottomless pit of fries and appear to be trying to eat their way out. I'm not sure that as a society we should keep making the excuses, obesity is something that needs to be addressed, and it can't be with the message that it's all OK and your weight is out of your control on the grounds that it might offend the minority for whom it genuinely isn't. And it's not a case of yelling 'hey fatty' but dealing with it constructively and providing an environment where our health and wellbeing becomes something that we control for ourselves. I think we've lost that. They Americans might have already jumped the shark (or tried and flattened that once frisky selachimorph) on the issue but we could at least try.
Post by: rafletcher on 04 September, 2015, 11:52:08 am
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
Because people with mobility impairments never put on weight as a result... >:(
Of course they do. But you have to see to believe some of those in the 'states. In the UK they'd be exceptional (like Tigerrr's example), over there they're normal. Not elderly, not "not all there", not in care homes, just "ordinary folks" who happen to be huge. And it often is over-eating that has given them the weight and mobility issue in the first place. It's a different world.
Ian said it a lot better of course. :)
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2015, 05:36:01 pm
I've often thought that it might be a good idea to nick a full trolley, to save time in the horrible market.That sounds like my trolley. Well, it's more likely to have beer than pop and a bag of flour than nasty bread, but crisps, biscuits, pizza, ice cream, random shit, yes. I'll already have been to the greengrocer's to buy the fruit and veg, looking at my stupormarket trolley you'd think we never eat anything that's grown.
Closer inspection always puts me off though, as other people's 'big shop' seems to suggest that their evening meal menu for the next week will consist solely of crisps, biscuits and pop, plus loaves of nasty bread.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2015, 05:41:48 pm
Our local Stainsbury's has a small 'world food' aisle, which is subdivided into three sections: Asian, Kosher and Polish. The last two feature almost identical foods but with different brand names, a rabbi's certificate and markedly varying prices. I guess rabbis don't give their stamp for free. (And most of the Polish stuff that's not kosher-alike differs only in brand name and price from what's on the standard shelves; a thousand miles of transport doesn't come for free either, but it's harder to see why people insist on paying for it.) I have never seen anyone in there wearing a hat.My first proper girlfriend (you can only have so much impropriety) was Jewish on her father's side (which probably meant she wasn't Jewish, isn't it matrilineal?), but anyway, areligious me got myself dragged along once-upon-a-time to gathering of her more remote orthodox relatives (they have better hats in Finchley, there should be a big orthodox hat league).
Judaism is matrilineal.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Mrs Elswood pickled cucumbers are my usual pickle. Very Kosher!
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2015, 06:07:11 pm
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
Post by: ian on 04 September, 2015, 06:16:08 pm
In fact that's what I'm calling my god: Ish. I'm inventing a religion right now.
Post by: SteveC on 04 September, 2015, 06:36:21 pm
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones. Don't eat them. Your God will be displeased and her wrath mighty. Ish.Shouldn't this post be in the 'what are you drinking right now' thread? Or even the 'what on earth have you been drinking' one?
In fact that's what I'm calling my god: Ish. I'm inventing a religion right now.
;) ;)
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 September, 2015, 07:19:00 pm
I am currently eating some beer (IPA) flavour pickles to get me in the mood for pub o'clock. They're very good. Brooklyn Brine apparently, for some reason in M&S. Kosher. I presume there's a lot in Judaism about pickles. God, it would seem, is never without a jar of pickle to snack on. If you're shopping around a religion and you like hats and pickles, it seems the most natural home. Maybe I should start my own religion that's just about hats and pickles, and no other baggage.
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
I saw those IPA pickles a while ago, are they *really* that good?
Post by: menthel on 04 September, 2015, 07:56:46 pm
Post by: contango on 04 September, 2015, 08:54:53 pm
Oh my little furry pawed friend, I think we all appreciate that mobility scooters are an essential mobility aid, and indeed, people do have issues that lead to weight gain and they can certainly conflate. They let the old and infirm enjoy a level of independence that they wouldn't otherwise. I've not been deathed by mobility scooting pavement pigs yet, despite being promised that this very fate awaited me. Gurning grannies with kamikaze intent. Fortunately, my local municipality took steps to prevent this by ensuring there's not enough space left on the pavement for those scooters. Let the infirm stay at home where they're not taking up people's parking. Is it not bad enough that these bloody disabled already get the best parking spaces? I don't see why I should have to park my Q7 two rows away from the supermarket door.
That said, some people do seem to have fallen into the bottomless pit of fries and appear to be trying to eat their way out. I'm not sure that as a society we should keep making the excuses, obesity is something that needs to be addressed, and it can't be with the message that it's all OK and your weight is out of your control on the grounds that it might offend the minority for whom it genuinely isn't. And it's not a case of yelling 'hey fatty' but dealing with it constructively and providing an environment where our health and wellbeing becomes something that we control for ourselves. I think we've lost that. They Americans might have already jumped the shark (or tried and flattened that once frisky selachimorph) on the issue but we could at least try.
That is the big thing here (pun only kinda-sorta intended).
Of course we don't know whether the mobility issue caused the weight gain or the weight gain caused the mobility issue. But either way, if you're not moving about much and you're already so far into the "morbidly obese" category that you could lose half your body weight and still be morbidly obese, eating your own weight in popcorn and fried food doesn't seem like a particularly clever thing to do.
In the land where you can get a 64oz soda with your fast food, and then fill it up again for the road at no extra cost, it's hardly surprising that people gain weight. The flipside, of course, is that nobody is forced to drink a 64oz soda at gunpoint, and (speaking as a fat person myself) getting fat is almost invariably the result of a long term pattern of eating more calories than your body needs.
Post by: Ruthie on 04 September, 2015, 09:04:20 pm
Oh my little furry pawed friend, I think we all appreciate that mobility scooters are an essential mobility aid, and indeed, people do have issues that lead to weight gain and they can certainly conflate. They let the old and infirm enjoy a level of independence that they wouldn't otherwise. I've not been deathed by mobility scooting pavement pigs yet, despite being promised that this very fate awaited me. Gurning grannies with kamikaze intent. Fortunately, my local municipality took steps to prevent this by ensuring there's not enough space left on the pavement for those scooters. Let the infirm stay at home where they're not taking up people's parking. Is it not bad enough that these bloody disabled already get the best parking spaces? I don't see why I should have to park my Q7 two rows away from the supermarket door.
That said, some people do seem to have fallen into the bottomless pit of fries and appear to be trying to eat their way out. I'm not sure that as a society we should keep making the excuses, obesity is something that needs to be addressed, and it can't be with the message that it's all OK and your weight is out of your control on the grounds that it might offend the minority for whom it genuinely isn't. And it's not a case of yelling 'hey fatty' but dealing with it constructively and providing an environment where our health and wellbeing becomes something that we control for ourselves. I think we've lost that. They Americans might have already jumped the shark (or tried and flattened that once frisky selachimorph) on the issue but we could at least try.
That is the big thing here (pun only kinda-sorta intended).
Of course we don't know whether the mobility issue caused the weight gain or the weight gain caused the mobility issue. But either way, if you're not moving about much and you're already so far into the "morbidly obese" category that you could lose half your body weight and still be morbidly obese, eating your own weight in popcorn and fried food doesn't seem like a particularly clever thing to do.
In the land where you can get a 64oz soda with your fast food, and then fill it up again for the road at no extra cost, it's hardly surprising that people gain weight. The flipside, of course, is that nobody is forced to drink a 64oz soda at gunpoint, and (speaking as a fat person myself) getting fat is almost invariably the result of a long term pattern of eating more calories than your body needs.
Because it's a dead simple, easy issue really, and fat people must like being fat, otherwise why would they choose to be fat? Because, given the choice, wouldn't we all rather be fat and then get sneered at and demonised? Nobody forces that first fairy cake down their neck. They're fat because they want to be fat, and they choose to be fat.
:facepalm:
Post by: fuzzy on 04 September, 2015, 09:26:59 pm
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones. Don't eat them. Your God will be displeased and her wrath mighty. Ish.
In fact that's what I'm calling my god: Ish. I'm inventing a religion right now.
So, are deciples Ishists?
Post by: Ruthie on 04 September, 2015, 09:30:45 pm
It's just much harder to eat real food in sensible quantities these days, because we've got 'food' pushed at us from every quarter, and our culture is built around 'food', rather than nourishment for daily living.
I think you can be addicted to food, in the same way as alcohol. Eating too much of certain foods gives you an addictive rush and you get caught in a spiral of addictive eating that's incredibly difficult to get out of. We're surrounded by addictive foods that press all the WOW!!! buttons in our brains (which are hardwired for times of scarcity), and people make massive profits out of those foods, and meanwhile we're deskilled in eating simply and wholesomely, and our bodies don't even recognise real hunger any more, and food means so much more than nourishment. It means family, and sociability, and love, and control, and guilt, and lack of control, and weakness, and discipline, and glamour, and it's a great way to drown negative emotions, drowning them in nasty cheap chocolate and pies, for the same reason people drink alcohol to numb the pain.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
Post by: CrinklyLion on 04 September, 2015, 09:49:13 pm
But either way, if you're not moving about much and you're already so far into the "morbidly obese" category that you could lose half your body weight and still be morbidly obese, eating your own weight in popcorn and fried food doesn't seem like a particularly clever thing to do.
*does some calculations*
Wah-hey! Not half, a mere nearly-40%. Bring on the popcorn and chips.
Post by: barakta on 04 September, 2015, 09:55:56 pm
Poverty and other correlating circumstances notwithstanding, the chances are if you have an eating disorder which manifests as being as very fat you will probably struggle to get the specialist mental health care that you need. And it is specialist and delicate care that's needed not judgement and adding to the problems.
Once you're fat it is very hard to lose that weight cos biology and complicatedness happens and the chances are you get yelled at and abused in the street - double it if you are female and or black. Again all feeding into other vicious circles.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2015, 09:57:41 pm
Sorry, that probly was a bit ranty, but the fact is, nobody wants to be fat. Being fat is rubbish. I hate being fat, and I'm only quite fat, not very fat. If you're very fat, or very very fat, then that's very very rubbish. Nobody wants to be as fat as that.Yeah it did seem a bit ranty but... your second and third paras are putting some detail on what Contango and ian were saying earlier. That we need to stop making excuses as a society and look at things like the easy availability of 64oz sodas.
It's just much harder to eat real food in sensible quantities these days, because we've got 'food' pushed at us from every quarter, and our culture is built around 'food', rather than nourishment for daily living.
I think you can be addicted to food, in the same way as alcohol. Eating too much of certain foods gives you an addictive rush and you get caught in a spiral of addictive eating that's incredibly difficult to get out of. We're surrounded by addictive foods that press all the WOW!!! buttons in our brains (which are hardwired for times of scarcity), and people make massive profits out of those foods, and meanwhile we're deskilled in eating simply and wholesomely, and our bodies don't even recognise real hunger any more, and food means so much more than nourishment. It means family, and sociability, and love, and control, and guilt, and lack of control, and weakness, and discipline, and glamour, and it's a great way to drown negative emotions, drowning them in nasty cheap chocolate and pies, for the same reason people drink alcohol to numb the pain.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
Post by: barakta on 04 September, 2015, 10:00:11 pm
Post by: Ruthie on 04 September, 2015, 10:04:20 pm
Sorry, that probly was a bit ranty, but the fact is, nobody wants to be fat. Being fat is rubbish. I hate being fat, and I'm only quite fat, not very fat. If you're very fat, or very very fat, then that's very very rubbish. Nobody wants to be as fat as that.Yeah it did seem a bit ranty but... your second and third paras are putting some detail on what Contango and ian were saying earlier. That we need to stop making excuses as a society and look at things like the easy availability of 64oz sodas.
It's just much harder to eat real food in sensible quantities these days, because we've got 'food' pushed at us from every quarter, and our culture is built around 'food', rather than nourishment for daily living.
I think you can be addicted to food, in the same way as alcohol. Eating too much of certain foods gives you an addictive rush and you get caught in a spiral of addictive eating that's incredibly difficult to get out of. We're surrounded by addictive foods that press all the WOW!!! buttons in our brains (which are hardwired for times of scarcity), and people make massive profits out of those foods, and meanwhile we're deskilled in eating simply and wholesomely, and our bodies don't even recognise real hunger any more, and food means so much more than nourishment. It means family, and sociability, and love, and control, and guilt, and lack of control, and weakness, and discipline, and glamour, and it's a great way to drown negative emotions, drowning them in nasty cheap chocolate and pies, for the same reason people drink alcohol to numb the pain.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
Yes. And to examine the ethics of making a profit out of deadly substances like hydrogenated vegetable oils and high fructose syrup and nicotine. When profit is the only measure of success the world goes mad. I finished reading 'The Impulse Society' the other day, which added much perspective, and when you look at people digging their grave with their fork, you have to wonder, Who's the one making money out of this?
Because when you walk around town, and look at the people around you, fat people aren't old, and old people aren't fat. It's as serious as that. And what's more you get blamed for being the way you hate being.
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2015, 10:23:05 pm
The cheapest food is often the worst food. There are links between poverty and fatness and mental health too.
Indeed. My 'diet' of steak, salad and strawberries (I do eat other things, actually) is not cheap but seems to result in slow weight loss.
Bread and jam is cheaper...
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2015, 10:30:02 pm
Apart from that, yes profit is of course a big factor. Greed for money and greed for food, all greed.
We could also think about working on causes of poor mental health, poverty etc! It's not just as simple as "the food is there", it is as much about the complexities of why. Judgement just doesn't help.I read somewhere that 1 in 4 people suffer mental illness at some point in their lives, but it sometimes seems to me that probably 3/4 of us are "mentally not as well as we could be" most of the time (and that that has an expression in poor physical health, among other stuff).
Post by: hellymedic on 04 September, 2015, 10:37:41 pm
Partner and I just had desserts at a Table Table (Whitbread Premier Inn) restaurant. I had a sticky toffee pudding & custard while he had a bread and butter pudding & custard. Both puddings were served on small, flat square plates, with the custard in a separate gravy boat. It would have been better to serve these in bowls.
OTOH my salmon and David's dad's lamb shank, came in HUGE bowls. I can't be alone finding deep bowls awkward when using a knife and fork...
Post by: Pingu on 05 September, 2015, 12:03:24 am
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones.
:thumbsup: We just don't know what we've been chosen for :-[
Post by: Pingu on 05 September, 2015, 12:04:01 am
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
:-*
Post by: Tigerrr on 05 September, 2015, 07:20:38 am
Post by: rafletcher on 05 September, 2015, 07:30:01 pm
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
You're looking at it from a UK perspective. Like you I'm a bit fat. But I've seen on TV a U.S woman using a mobility scooter inside her home because she was so fat she couldn't walk bake a huge lasagne fully intending to eat the same. They really don't seem to care.
Post by: ian on 05 September, 2015, 08:38:46 pm
Post by: ian on 05 September, 2015, 09:00:26 pm
Post by: ian on 06 September, 2015, 12:12:51 pm
I am currently eating some beer (IPA) flavour pickles to get me in the mood for pub o'clock. They're very good. Brooklyn Brine apparently, for some reason in M&S. Kosher. I presume there's a lot in Judaism about pickles. God, it would seem, is never without a jar of pickle to snack on. If you're shopping around a religion and you like hats and pickles, it seems the most natural home. Maybe I should start my own religion that's just about hats and pickles, and no other baggage.
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
I saw those IPA pickles a while ago, are they *really* that good?
I like them. They're not actually boozy and the taste is subtle and unlike some pickles not too heavy on the sweet. I prefer briny pickles to vinegar (what in the history Ishism is known as the Pickle Schism). I finished them off on a chicken burger last night and they were perfect. Mind you, they're £5 a jar and don't last very long if you're a prime pickle snaffler like me. I washed them down with this (http://prairieales.com/beer/bible-belt/). Seriously, I've not had a better meal in a long time. Shove that up your apron, A list cheffery.
Post by: ian on 08 September, 2015, 12:52:18 pm
I'm never convinced pickles go out of date. They're pickled. That's the point. It's like sell-by-dates on cheese. It's cheese. It's off by definition.
Mind you, I applied that logic to a tub of creme fraiche that had been idling long enough in the fridge to need a hobby. I tasted a bit because science. Oh my. There's off and there's off. That's a taste you don't want hugging your tongue, like I'd frenchied a tramp. I imagine. I draw the line at a chaste peck on the cheek. In future, I'm going for animal testing and letting the cats judge the dubiousness of out-of-date dairy products.
Post by: contango on 08 September, 2015, 10:26:34 pm
Just by-the-by, but not one is 'blaming' people for being fat. But really, if you're fat then the only person who can change that is yourself. As both individuals and a society we have to accept that. Sure, there are many culprits and reasons, but if we hide behind excuses, create an environment where everything else is to blame, then there's no reason for anyone to shoulder that responsibility for their own health. Things will only get worse. And yes, we need a proper public health initiative that brings everything to the table. I'm not optimistic that any current flavour of government will step up to that, not when it involves everything from urban planning to diet. But that's not an excuse, if you're not happy with the way you are, then you're the only person who can change that. It has to start with the individual.
Wow, my comment about fat people triggered a bit of a wave of posts.
Truth be told in many ways the only people to blame for being fat are the fat people. And, to be clear, I write as a fat person myself. As someone (I think ian) said earlier there are fat people in the UK but they take it to a whole new level in the USA.
In the UK when my weight went somewhere over 20 stone (once the scale read more than 280 I stopped weighing myself because I didn't like the news the scale gave me) I started to find it harder to find clothes that fit me. I needed formal trousers for work and as soon as I reached a point where a 42" waist was too tight I struggled to find anything suitable with a 44" waist. That was something of a wake-up call that it was time to shed a bit of weight. Whose fault was it that I was fat? Mine, and mine alone. Nobody forced me to eat chocolate and cake, nobody prevented me from going out and exercising. I chose both courses of action.
When I was the wrong side of 20 stone I could still visit the US and feel positively slim by comparison to some of the folks here. On another cycling forum I used a while back there were people who had lost 200+ pounds and were still overweight. Seriously, think what someone who weighs 18 stone looks like, and then picture somebody literally twice that weight. Some people get heavier than that. Of course here there isn't the wake-up call of not being able to find clothes that fit - it doesn't seem to be an issue if you want jeans with a 58" waist.
Up to a point it's true to say that in food terms the junk is the cheapest. But the example I used was at a fair, where somebody who was practically spherical was eating a jumbo size bag of popcorn and the biggest ice cream I'd seen in a long time. This is fair food we're talking about, and if money is tight you don't eat fair food. You know, you can buy two jumbo family size packs of double-stuf Oreos for $6, or you can buy five deep-fried Oreos for $5. So while that argument may hold some water in general it doesn't work to say that poor people lack the choices, when the clearly do have the choice to not pay through the nose for junk at the fair.
Even then in many ways it's too easy to make excuses and blame Someone Else for the choices I made. When I was at my fattest (and I'm not exactly a featherweight now) I could come up with all sorts of reasons why I didn't eat more healthily and why I didn't exercise. But the fact is that I made choices, and those choices had consequences. Ruthie mentioned the question of whether fat people like being fat, and in my case the answer was definitely no. But the flipside to the answer is that I didn't dislike being fat enough to do anything about it. Did I want to be thinner than I was? Oh yes. Did I want to make the lifestyle changes to make it happen? Obviously not at the time, or I would have made them. And there's the kicker, in more ways than one I wanted to have my cake and eat it. It's no good whinging saying "I don't want to be fat any more" unless you're going to take steps to change things.
Naturally people with mobility issues don't have the same choices the rest of us do when it comes to how much exercise to take. I can choose to go for a long hike in the way a wheelchair user just can't, and it's not as if most wheelchair users can suddenly decide that they're sick of being unable to walk any distance and changing their predicament. But even though that represents a lack of choice, the choice of what goes in their mouth is still the same.
I know very well how gaining weight makes exercise appear less and less desirable. When you're sufficiently fat and unfit that going up the stairs seems like an effort it does take a degree of willpower to break the cycle. But instead of blaming anyone and everyone else for their predicament the only solution is to do something about it. Nobody else can eat less for you, nobody else can exercise for you, so the obvious thing to do is make small changes that add up. Someone doesn't get to be 500+ pounds in a week so they won't go back to being 180 pounds in a week but every time they get to Saturday weighing less than they did the previous Sunday they make progress.
Post by: ian on 12 September, 2015, 09:53:25 pm
I have just risked an inventory and discovered some parmesan cheese that's yet to get lively, a jar of mayonnaise (best before July 15, but I'll assume that's 3015), a jar of wholegrain mustard that I bought the other week, a jar of semi-safe pickles, a cucumber, some limes, grapes, a peach, two mangoes, a lettuce that reminds me of a limp and drowned Ophelia, a couple of radishes and I'm sure I've not bought a radish for years, and some beetroot that promises to be good until November at which point its seething resentment boils over into purple rage. When beetroot goes bad. There's a load of beer, of course, a fridge is not a fridge without beer. There's imperial stout for pudding at least.
There's a meal of champions in there. I have some tins of tuna but opening one of those risks cat-geddon. I have to open two tins and throw one sacrificially out of the back door. There's some sweetcorn that's labelled in marker pen with 'don't even think about eating me'. My wife's handwriting is only legible when she's telling me not to do something. Muesli. I evidently eat a lot of muesli. A jar of harissa paste. Sundry rices and pasta. Quinoa, oh that died in May 2014. Do people eat quinoa or merely buy it so other people think they eat quinoa? I don't even know if I like it. I'm still smarting from the buckwheat kasha that started this thread, the one that tasted like soil from my own grave.
Beyond that it's the beer coffin (it's not an actual coffin, it's a trunk, but it's a perfect fit for my corpse, so when I pass my best-before date they can put me in it and bury out back under a pile of buckwheat kasha) which is admirably well stocked and the gin cupboard (you don't want to know how many bottles). The cocktail cabinet. It's like a wino heaven. Damnit, the Unicum is still in there.
I think I need a stiff drink before the another evening of perilous gastronomy. I should have gone to the pub.
Post by: Ruthie on 12 September, 2015, 09:59:16 pm
Men will bring hot food to your door. No, honestly, it's a thing.
Post by: ian on 12 September, 2015, 10:12:30 pm
I have reserved the cucumber for gin purposes and eaten the pickles.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 12 September, 2015, 10:16:34 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 12 September, 2015, 10:29:07 pm
You need JustEat.
Men will bring hot food to your door. No, honestly, it's a thing.
I suggested hungryhouse.co.uk to Wow when he was home alone and believe this was successful.
Online grocery shopping suits me fine too. I can refer to my shopping list whilst clicking on my selections without having trolleys ram my calves and hearing whiny kids.
Arranging your slaves online is a 21st century luxury.
Post by: Hot Flatus on 13 September, 2015, 07:38:11 am
That is roughly double the cost to the NHS of smoking related illnesses.
Post by: ian on 13 September, 2015, 12:02:59 pm
I heard an amazing statistic last week. Type 2 Diabetes treatment costs 10% of the NHS budget and the spend is predicted to nearly double over the next 25 years.
That is roughly double the cost to the NHS of smoking related illnesses.
Oh, the diabetes thing is huge, and will conflate with lots of other obesity and other diet-related problems. Future generations are looking at a shorter lifespan than currently and more poor quality end-of-life years.
Like air pollution (which doesn't kill people, it merely results in more deaths, and thus is euthanasia made popular) there's no government response other than a shrug and hold a meeting with their friends in industry, who are always happy to help out, especially if it creates a product space (so we have green Coke placed as a healthier alternative). Medical professions seem more interested in their own wellbeing than that of their patients.
At least with tobacco we did something, if too slowly and often ineffectively, and we continue to do something. That's gone from other spheres of public health.
Post by: ian on 13 September, 2015, 12:21:58 pm
You need JustEat.
Men will bring hot food to your door. No, honestly, it's a thing.
I suggested hungryhouse.co.uk to Wow when he was home alone and believe this was successful.
Online grocery shopping suits me fine too. I can refer to my shopping list whilst clicking on my selections without having trolleys ram my calves and hearing whiny kids.
Arranging your slaves online is a 21st century luxury.
I don't like online shopping, it's like staggering around a supermarket blind-folded. I don't know where stuff is and their categorisation schemes are arcane. Is it groceries or dry goods, and then assumes I know what I want, which I really, really don't because I randomly grab stuff and toss it in the trolley and then my wife take it back out when I'm not looking. This process usually results in shop that has some utility. I don't do recipes I just make things up from whatever is to hand, so there's no organisation beyond by a lot of veg and fruit and – oh look – chocolate tea bags. Then I have to face-up stock and tut at something, as my first junior job was apprentice deputy assistant to the the dogsbody at the local Coop, and man can I still stack a shelf.
Last night came to an epic battle between a new Indian takeaway and the remaining tins of tuna. Bad cat, biased by the fact she's tuna-crazy, was pretty keen we go the ways of tins, and because I hate that sensation of optimism when you order a curry that promises to be cooked by award winning chefs (yeah, just back from winning the cornish pasty awards I'm sure) and be full of fresh flavours and then it arrives and it's usual coloured sludge that tastes primarily of disappointment and despair. So the tuna won out and we ate it all. There's about three extra cats in my garden this morning looking for the buffet.
Post by: ian on 13 September, 2015, 12:28:57 pm
Ian, please can I have a list of what's in your gin cupboard? Enquiring minds need to know.
It's probably easier to ask what I don't have. When I started this quest I didn't believe there could be so many gins and frankly they're reproducing at a rate we can't keep up with. It started by bringing bottles of gin back from the various travels, then other people started bringing them back for us, and then came the internet. International terrorism put a damper on foreign acquisitions through the stupid liquids policy. I've have a bottle of Malawi's finest gin now if it wasn't for that.
Post by: contango on 15 September, 2015, 06:04:03 pm
Don't get me wrong, I love hot peppers. Just not some of their effects. And before you think I'm talking about a weapons-grade anal explosion that makes me thankful I left it in the hallowed bogs at Walmart rather than in my own porcelain, it's not that at all.
I spent two hours cutting and processing a mixture of Carolina Reaper peppers and scorpion peppers. A friend owns a business that makes hot sauces, and he had 100+ lb of peppers to deal with, so I went to help him. Naturally you wear gloves when handling peppers like that, especially when you're deseeding them and handling the placenta tissue. But when it came to taking the gloves off, the brief touch of my right thumb on my left wrist to remove the glove created a burning that lasted for hours.
So back to the original premise, bastard hot peppers.
Post by: ian on 15 September, 2015, 06:23:53 pm
There's worse, I know a lady who, under the liberation of liquor, confessed that a previous boyfriend had touched her more delicate tropical regions after similar. I think that was possibly the point he became previous. There's probably an entire sexual subculture of people pepper-spraying their love bobbits that I don't want to know about.
Of course, it seems a rite of passage for men to do similar with their penis. Possibly because boys are always tomfooling down there (one hopes not so much in the kitchen, though perhaps that's how Little Chef came to be known as little). I confess I've avoided this fate (both manhandling myself in the kitchen and peppering my penis) and long may such good fortune endure.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 September, 2015, 10:50:03 am
There's worse, I know a lady who, under the liberation of liquor, confessed that a previous boyfriend had touched her more delicate tropical regions after similar. I think that was possibly the point he became previous.BTDT
Post by: Efrogwr on 16 September, 2015, 12:17:14 pm
There's worse things than wrists…
I like Super Chili, because it's available as a growing plant and has a good flavour. It's rated at 50,000 Scoville Units, so it's a bit frisky.
I make sure that I have a pee before cooking… and wait as long as possible after dinner. Washing my hands well enough to remove onion and garlic odour doesn't help with the chili residue.
Post by: hellymedic on 16 September, 2015, 03:09:01 pm
Post by: ian on 16 September, 2015, 03:50:45 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 17 September, 2015, 09:39:50 am
Washing dishes by hand, without wearing gloves, is the best way of getting nasty/pungent substances of the paws IME, if they are water-slouble
Thank you.
Post by: Efrogwr on 17 September, 2015, 09:40:26 am
Soak your hands and/or love bobbits in a bucket of acetonitrile or aprotic polar solvent of choice (not DMSO as it makes your tongue taste funny after you touch it).
I think I'll sit down!
Post by: ian on 17 September, 2015, 10:04:49 pm
Post by: contango on 21 September, 2015, 01:24:02 am
There's worse things than wrists, I once sliced up a big handful of peppers for some fissile assembly of ingredients and then with a brief rinse of my hands decided then was a good time to remove my contact lenses. It really wasn't a good time.
There's worse, I know a lady who, under the liberation of liquor, confessed that a previous boyfriend had touched her more delicate tropical regions after similar. I think that was possibly the point he became previous. There's probably an entire sexual subculture of people pepper-spraying their love bobbits that I don't want to know about.
Of course, it seems a rite of passage for men to do similar with their penis. Possibly because boys are always tomfooling down there (one hopes not so much in the kitchen, though perhaps that's how Little Chef came to be known as little). I confess I've avoided this fate (both manhandling myself in the kitchen and peppering my penis) and long may such good fortune endure.
I've managed similar experiences (eyes not wedding vegetables, thankfully) after drying and breaking up a harvest of cayenne peppers and then forgetting what I'd done before rubbing my eyes. The guy whose peppers I cut up managed to wipe his face with the same bandana he previously used to wipe up the juice from 50lb of scorpion peppers. From what he said I don't think he found the experience entirely enjoyable.
Given how easily it's done I can't say I'm surprised that people can get intimate (with themselves or with others) and transfer capsaicin to areas that really weren't designed to be the target for transferal of capsaicin. Sometimes it does seem like a case of "there but for the grace of God..."
Post by: contango on 21 September, 2015, 01:26:29 am
There's worse things than wrists…
I like Super Chili, because it's available as a growing plant and has a good flavour. It's rated at 50,000 Scoville Units, so it's a bit frisky.
50,000?
A good habanero clocks many times that and also has a good flavour. Some of the superhots run to seven figures and have a reasonable flavour, if you can taste it over the heat. You really don't want to be rubbing those anywhere at all, even getting the juice from those peppers on your hands hurts.
I make sure that I have a pee before cooking… and wait as long as possible after dinner. Washing my hands well enough to remove onion and garlic odour doesn't help with the chili residue.
[/quote]
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2015, 04:33:30 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2015, 04:35:53 am
#firstworldproblem
Post by: ian on 21 September, 2015, 09:50:51 am
Bend OR is big enough to support a divided highway section of US-97 anna large branch of Target anna Volvo dealership so why the actual fuck is the nearest branch of Pizza Hut nearly twenty sodding miles away? Grrr!
#firstworldproblem
Surely a branch of IHOP has sprouted mushroom-like from the roadside?
OTOH, I've never met anyone who's eaten there, and they assure everyone they don't just to pancakes. Change your fucking name then.
I ate some lentils at the end of last week (oh, they were there in a svelte little salad, how bad could it be). That's my rant. You can stuff your gluten intolerance, the lot of you, the seismic rumblings in my gut have attracted helicopter new crews. The aftermath is best not discussed. No more beans.
Post by: contango on 21 September, 2015, 05:54:29 pm
Bend OR is big enough to support a divided highway section of US-97 anna large branch of Target anna Volvo dealership so why the actual fuck is the nearest branch of Pizza Hut nearly twenty sodding miles away? Grrr!
#firstworldproblem
So you can spend a little more time sitting on your ass before sitting on your ass eating your required 5000 calories in a greasy low grade pizza?
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 September, 2015, 06:41:10 am
Now, why do the "in-room tea and coffee making facilities" here have only one sachet of sugar and thirteen of foul zero-calorie sweetener? It's enough to make you want to skullfuck a dead pig.
Post by: ian on 22 September, 2015, 07:31:10 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 September, 2015, 02:49:05 am
Post by: hellymedic on 23 September, 2015, 03:13:30 pm
Or might excite the attention of Jobsworth Borderguards
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 September, 2015, 02:19:57 am
Post by: contango on 24 September, 2015, 05:02:55 am
Speaking of which, I had some fun the day I accidentally crossed the Canada-US border at the Niagara Falls due to taking a wrong turning. Having turned around in the US and gone back over the bridge, of course Canadian immigration was ready to greet me. So there I was, speaking with a British accent and driving a car with Florida plates explaining why I only planned to be in Canada for about half an hour. That was interesting, although thankfully nobody felt the need for me to talk to the nice men with the long rubber gloves.
Post by: ian on 24 September, 2015, 08:53:03 am
A friend and I once drove down to Point Roberts and spent a happy fifteen minutes jumping back and forth over the US-Canada border. I declared war on Canada on behalf of the US with a pre-emptive barrage of pine cones. She then kicked dirt over the yellow kerbstone into the US. Canadian dirt. Things escalated from there, as wars so often do, to become known as the Battle of the 49th Parallel. Fortunately no border guards stumbled across two people pelting one another with pine cones and acorns across an international border as I'm sure there are international statutes about that sort of thing. Unfortunately, after taking an acorn in the eye, the US had to cede victory to a rather smug Canadian, and forever there will remain a little bit more Canadian dirt in US territory.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 September, 2015, 04:08:11 pm
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
Post by: ian on 24 September, 2015, 05:29:43 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 September, 2015, 11:49:12 pm
Also world+dog should eschew the soi-disant "Seattle's Best Coffee" franchise. Not only for charging ten dollars for a ham sandwich and a cup of "coffee" but also because the name is blatant bollocks. Unless it isn't, of course, in which case any claims Seattle has to being a hotbed of caffeinated excellence are founded on a thick and squishy mulch of Lie.
Post by: ian on 27 September, 2015, 12:20:40 pm
I'm not sure if 'Seattle's Best' is chutzpah or desperation. It's like 'Perfect Fried Chicken' – now that's a claim. There's a sliding scale of fried chicken shop braggadocio, from perfection down to 'Tennessee's Best' (I think I drove through Tennessee precisely once, I don't remember the chicken). The formula State + Superlative + Chicken stretches all the down to Florida where it can dip its toes in the Keys and claim 'Florida's Best Chicken.' While the South is admittedly the home of deep frying, unfortunate chickens, and racism, I'm pretty sure Florida isn't really the South. Florida's Finest Cuban Sandwich would be better, methinks.
Post by: ian on 27 September, 2015, 12:29:17 pm
Someone will probably tell me this already exists up Shoreditch way.
Unless you travel first where everything comes with exotic descriptions all the way down to the parentage of its ingredients. It still tastes like airplane food.
Post by: contango on 27 September, 2015, 04:14:18 pm
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
The sun does shine on that coast. Just not that part of that coast.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 September, 2015, 06:36:23 pm
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
The sun does shine on that coast. Just not that part of that coast.
Presumably it only shines on the uninhabited bits?
Emily the SatNav claimed that Squamish was two metres below sea level; my new chum Ursula said "Oh, yes, they just had a big flood there!" so Emily may even have been right.
Post by: fuzzy on 27 September, 2015, 11:56:24 pm
As someone who once had to be rescued from life as a bridge troll on the Canada-US border, I'm always scared. It's what happens when you get caught between two sets of people who like to dress up in uniforms. Unless it's a cosplay sex game, in which case I imagine there's a larger dry cleaning bill and less bureaucracy.
A friend and I once drove down to Point Roberts and spent a happy fifteen minutes jumping back and forth over the US-Canada border. I declared war on Canada on behalf of the US with a pre-emptive barrage of pine cones. She then kicked dirt over the yellow kerbstone into the US. Canadian dirt. Things escalated from there, as wars so often do, to become known as the Battle of the 49th Parallel. Fortunately no border guards stumbled across two people pelting one another with pine cones and acorns across an international border as I'm sure there are international statutes about that sort of thing. Unfortunately, after taking an acorn in the eye, the US had to cede victory to a rather smug Canadian, and forever there will remain a little bit more Canadian dirt in US territory.
Be careful about dissing baristas ian. The dude that does his thaing at ICEbike every year makes a fecking good cup of Java :thumbsup:
Post by: contango on 28 September, 2015, 04:52:12 am
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
The sun does shine on that coast. Just not that part of that coast.
Presumably it only shines on the uninhabited bits?
Emily the SatNav claimed that Squamish was two metres below sea level; my new chum Ursula said "Oh, yes, they just had a big flood there!" so Emily may even have been right.
I guess if you go far enough south you get to somewhere the sun has been known to shine, even if only once when nobody was looking.
GPS elevation estimates are usually good for a laugh. When I walked or cycled a circular route it was remarkable how my total ascent and total descent varied by anything up to 1000 feet. Since I never dug a hole that deep and still can't quite figure out how to levitate I had to wonder. Not that this has anything to do with food, although any warping of the gravitational field caused by the sheer mass of the person ahead of me in the queue for a super-jumbo-monster sized ice cream this afternoon could have explained such things.
Post by: tiermat on 28 September, 2015, 01:39:57 pm
Decided to have a day sick.
Ate breakfast, lounged around, did nowt.
Come lunchtime, I made Mrs T her lunch (she is WfH today), but didn't feel like eating myself.
After about 1/2 hour of her finishing her lunch, I decided I had better make myself something, so had a sandwich.
Now I can't stop eating! How does that work? From not hungry to unsatiable in one easy step?
Post by: Kim on 28 September, 2015, 02:07:54 pm
Now I can't stop eating! How does that work? From not hungry to unsatiable in one easy step?
That's normal for me. I only really feel hunger if I've eaten recently. If I go a long time without food, I actively don't want to eat (but know that if I do, after a while I'll feel less sick).
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 September, 2015, 09:15:39 am
(click to show/hide)
Post by: T42 on 29 September, 2015, 01:05:28 pm
Give me Round-Up any day.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 September, 2015, 05:26:01 pm
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2015, 06:44:56 pm
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
Post by: contango on 29 September, 2015, 06:49:56 pm
Ah, Stork Margarine. I think that was fish oil and petroleum industry biproducts. As students used to liberally butter slabs of fat white toast and apply posters to the wall. Rumours of its use as a sexual lubricant are, I hope, unfounded. But needs must as needs want.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
Aubergines have their place. Ideally on someone else's plate. Or, better yet, as ballast or projectile weapons.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 September, 2015, 06:53:08 pm
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
As a Son of York I ought to be in favour of them but in reality they don't do anything that can't be done more cheaply with the Humble Potato. And I have yet to see Hash Purples (and hope fervently that I never do) though I expect that e'en now someone with a shovel-shaped beard is experimenting in a Hoxton basement.
Post by: menthel on 29 September, 2015, 07:09:41 pm
Ah, Stork Margarine. I think that was fish oil and petroleum industry biproducts. As students used to liberally butter slabs of fat white toast and apply posters to the wall. Rumours of its use as a sexual lubricant are, I hope, unfounded. But needs must as needs want.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Post by: Raj on 29 September, 2015, 07:26:32 pm
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! :D
http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe
Post by: menthel on 29 September, 2015, 07:42:43 pm
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! :D
http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe
Luckily I managed to marry a Bengali, a people whom do seem to understand how to fettle an aubergine to the highest culinary heights!
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2015, 08:01:21 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 September, 2015, 08:12:12 pm
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?I am very much in favour, in curries or tagines or imam bayildi.
Post by: TheLurker on 29 September, 2015, 08:24:26 pm
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.
*Knock fried** bread and, or spam fritters into a cocked hat. Hoh yus.
**Frying. The _only_ way to prepare food _properly_.
Post by: Jurek on 29 September, 2015, 08:36:52 pm
My bold.On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.
*Knock fried** bread and, or spam fritters into a cocked hat. Hoh yus.
**Frying. The _only_ way to prepare food _properly_.
This.
An ex of mine used to do them this way, and they were indeed, sublime.
Post by: jsabine on 29 September, 2015, 09:42:07 pm
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
As a Son of York I ought to be in favour of them but in reality they don't do anything that can't be done more cheaply with the Humble Potato.
I find it difficult to believe that you could turn a Maris Piper into a satisfactory Baba Ganoush.
'Course, I would be delighted to be proven wrong, especially if such proof was in the form of samples.
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2015, 10:07:23 pm
Post by: rr on 29 September, 2015, 10:59:13 pm
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! :D
http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe
Luckily I managed to marry a Bengali, a people whom do seem to understand how to fettle an aubergine to the highest culinary heights!
As do mu Rajistani in-laws
Post by: Clare on 29 September, 2015, 11:39:39 pm
Post by: Jaded on 29 September, 2015, 11:57:49 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 September, 2015, 02:09:13 am
I remain unconvinced, they always seem a bit bland and spongy and are usually found lying flaccid in a puddle of sauce and oil. The vegetable that didn't try. I mean they look like they might be exciting in the shop but they're all a bit of a let down once you've cooked them. The only way to get any flavour in them seems to be marinate for six weeks, set fire to them or marry a Bengali. Possibly all three. Broccoli is easier.
Broccoli certainly burns better, unless the aubergine has been soaked in the right kind of oil (see Jaded's post). But you might just as well use the oil for something useful, like making chips, or fuelling a small-block Chevy.
Post by: ian on 30 September, 2015, 09:45:39 am
Post by: Legs on 30 September, 2015, 10:06:54 am
Quote from: some Smoggie
This is the naked truth
This is the light
There's only one place left to go...
Aubergine (ba ba ba ba-da bah, ba ba ba ba ba da ba-da...)
Post by: pcolbeck on 30 September, 2015, 10:14:37 am
Aubergines are fucking hideous.
They are a nice shade of purple though.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 September, 2015, 10:39:49 am
You cannot fry Aubergines. They soak oil up and should really be used for oil spills at sea.That's part of the point of aubergines. They are the vegetable equivalent of sliced white bread; it only exists as a sponge-like carrier for fat.
Instead of a fried slice, try a fried aubergine. You can fool yourself you are eating one of your five a day while indulging in food so greasy it could fuel a Volkswagen.
Post by: ian on 30 September, 2015, 10:52:11 am
Post by: tiermat on 30 September, 2015, 11:00:33 am
Aubergines are fucking hideous.
I am with Clare on this one.
Best way to prepare Aubergines?
"Get ready, Aubergines"
Open bin
Insert Aubergines into bin.
Job done.
Post by: lahoski on 30 September, 2015, 11:18:35 am
That said... berenjenas fritas con miel is possibly the best tapa EVER. If it's with proper miel that is. Although I have a weird liking for that treacly black shit cheap restaurants use.
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 September, 2015, 11:37:17 am
Can you even buy proper margarine - the stuff made from boiled cows and Chemicals - any more? Everything seems to be either heavily-mutated olive oil or variations on the theme of not-butter.Not sure. The thing returned to the bottom of the fridge list as its ingredients: vegetable oils, buttermilk, cream. So almost butter but not quite. I only bought it cos it was the cheapest, but I think I did spot Stork on the stupormarket shelves.*
Anyway, the shortbread he made with it turned rather delicious. Really very, very good indeed. The fruit salad wasn't bad either (no, it did not contain margarine).
But there's still the question of bringing things home. Next week they're making eggs on toast ( ???) and a future 'project' will be pizza; both things which really need to be eaten hot and don't take well to being warmed up. Still, eggs is eggses is good.
*Look! A whole kilo of it! (http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/stork-margarine-1kg?langId=44&storeId=10151&krypto=0I6fjaxwLgentRn99X4sTK%2BKt7ioBcAbb%2FC8WCn1ull6osAxpXhcVVkC%2BY3b5B9%2B7A0ja2chyN9J%0A3H9x4i2yzjltcxMEuQEpHMccZtgvvGioY7UzczpCYHNJcTIwYe6G&ddkey=http:gb/groceries/stork-margarine-1kg)
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 30 September, 2015, 11:40:09 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 September, 2015, 12:14:34 pm
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
lahoski old chap, are those vegetables or sex toys?
Cyril Fletcher would be wetting himself.
Post by: fuzzy on 30 September, 2015, 03:34:36 pm
Post by: Plug1n on 30 September, 2015, 09:07:24 pm
Tesco Finest candyfloss grapes. :sick: :sick: :sick:
I agree. We got some Tesco ones last weekend which were yucky. However, Sainsbury candy floss grapes the week before were like distilled nectar.
Post by: contango on 04 October, 2015, 04:54:37 am
The key to a non-greasy aubergine is to char slices on a ridged griddle pan. Then chuck it in a sauce to finish it off. Or in a sandwich with harissa and tahini. Fuck yeah.
That said... berenjenas fritas con miel is possibly the best tapa EVER. If it's with proper miel that is. Although I have a weird liking for that treacly black shit cheap restaurants use.
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
Being easy on the eye is no guarantee of being easy on the stomach. I personally love the look of the Lamborghini Aventador Roadster but I'm not sure that eating one would be a good idea. Aubergines are much the same - a well formed one may be pleasing to behold but the relationship needs to begin and end there. Unlike the Lamborghini it's not even as if you can do anything useful with an aubergine.
Here in the rural USA people use pumpkins to decorate their homes at this time of year. Closer to Halloween there are, naturally, large numbers of unsold pumpkins floating about. Rather than adopting the pathetic approach of UK retailers who drop the price again and again until finally they offer mouldy pumpkins for 50p in the middle of November, here they do something far more fun. Enter Punkin Chunkin, a chance to combine the love of weapons ancient and modern with an overabundance of suitable projectiles. Yes, you too can stand in a field watching hillbillies fire pumpkins with a variety of air cannons, trebuchets and the like.
Sadly aubergines not only fail to meet the shape requirements of a good projectile but "Eggplant Chunkin" doesn't even roll off the tongue the way "Punkin Chunkin" does. So chalk up another fail to the abomination that is the aubergine.
Post by: Clare on 04 October, 2015, 09:57:47 pm
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
I didn't say they look hideous, I said they are hideous. That is one of the problems I have with aubergines, they are incredibly beautiful to look at, they promise so much, I expect waves of supreme taste and texture under that glossy purple coat but they deliver no taste except the grease they are cooked in and have all the texture of a freshly laid cow pat.
Post by: ian on 05 October, 2015, 07:36:18 am
Post by: Tigerrr on 05 October, 2015, 08:08:30 am
Post by: ian on 05 October, 2015, 09:39:11 am
Post by: Efrogwr on 05 October, 2015, 11:57:36 am
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
I didn't say they look hideous, I said they are hideous. That is one of the problems I have with aubergines, they are incredibly beautiful to look at, they promise so much, I expect waves of supreme taste and texture under that glossy purple coat but they deliver no taste except the grease they are cooked in and have all the texture of a freshly laid cow pat.
I nearly bought some of the purple and cream ones to paint…
I'm better now. I stick to trees and rocks.
Post by: rower40 on 05 October, 2015, 01:43:36 pm
I discovered this at a very young age but with marmalade-making being seasonal there were insufficient supplies to last the entire year chiz.Seville Oranges for Marmalade-molishing can be frozen without detriment to the resulting preserve. This factoid was discovered by my Mum many years ago after bemoaning the short duration of the above fruit's availability on Cambridge market stalls, and on noting how much space her freezer really had.
(Apologies for the delay in replying, and if this has already been commented on.)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 October, 2015, 06:20:20 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 05 October, 2015, 10:47:21 pm
Post by: contango on 06 October, 2015, 01:28:39 am
I think the honorable Clare has it. All promise and no delivery.
I wonder how they managed to stay out of politics.
Post by: contango on 06 October, 2015, 01:32:47 am
Pumpkins. Hmm. I've never been a big fan of squashes once you pass the courgette barrier (I love courgettes, though not in the sex way, which given their shape I feel I should emphasise). Pumpkins only taste good in pumpkin pie with plenty of ice cream, in savoury recipes I find them pointlessly bland (see also the butternut squash). Shooting them is probably a good idea.
I will agree that pumpkin pie is good. It's remarkable how many things have a pumpkin variety this time of year - we get pumpkin bagels (surprisingly good), pumpkin donuts (usually pretty good), pumpkin chocolate bars (ranging from passable to grim), pumpkin muffins (good), pumpkin coffee creamer (truly awful) and so on. Just when you think it can't get in any more things it does. I recently enjoyed salted pumpkin caramels and they were remarkable good. And at $10 for a 12oz box of them they needed to be, but they were good enough that I took a box home.
Firing large pumpkins from trebuchets looks like remarkable fun, although I wouldn't want to be the guy in the boat who landed the job of scooping the pieces out of the lake. Shooting them could be interesting. A friend of mine has access to a large patch of land, and an AR-15. This could be fun.
Post by: ian on 06 October, 2015, 10:48:13 am
I also have some pumpkin gnocchi which isn't so bad served up with sage butter.
Post by: Jurek on 06 October, 2015, 09:34:25 pm
Useful for little, other than
(https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4110/5135325936_e8d0bebe1b_b.jpg) (http://[url=https://flic.kr/p/8PMTum)Pumpkins.JPG (https://flic.kr/p/8PMTum) by jurekb (https://www.flickr.com/photos/jurekb/), on Flickr][/url]
Post by: Tigerrr on 07 October, 2015, 09:42:11 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 October, 2015, 07:25:24 pm
Post by: ian on 07 October, 2015, 10:14:44 pm
Anyway, we crossed the state line. Maps were consulted. Further and further we went, trees edging closer to the road. Daylight got more squeezed. It turned out that none of us actually knew the hosts, they were friends of someone's brother's cousin (never to try to unpick these family relationships would be my advice) who had mentioned en passant that the event was happening. So, we were basically gatecrashing a redneck party.
Now you know it's a party when you get to the end of the driveway, or rather rutted track, and there's some balloons or a banner, maybe a sign saying 'crawfish boil this way.' Not in WV, there's a big fella leaning on a pump action. Y'all here for the 'fish? I'm not arguing. Why yes, good sir we are. You ain't from round here? Sarcasm, go stand on the corner and shut the fuck up, the man has a gun.
So, anyway, another ten miles of track lands us on Planet Pick-Up truck. You know how it is when you arrive at a party underdressed. I felt undergunned. A small army would have felt undergunned. Mary Lou? Paul? Not one of us had thought to bring a weapon. These people made it look like the crawfish might be fomenting armed rebellion. They weren't going to go quietly into that oil drum of boiling cajun-spiced water.
So, in short order, beer was consumed. Two hundred and fifty pounds of crawfish met an unseemly demise, of which I ate about one. As my brain started to go sudsy rockabout, the shooting starts. Now all good Americans want to see English people shoot guns. Trust me, like the accent, it holds an ineffable attraction. So I find myself holding a small cannon in one hand and a beer in the other. Mary Lou appears with a borrowed assault rifle, looks my limply clutched handgun up and down, and shakes her head before putting a 7.62 mm round through a pumpkin far enough away to be in the next county. Suddenly, about 200 pair of eyes fall on me. Shoot the pumpkin, English. I don't think this shit ever happened on the Waltons. I don't think Mary Lou is going to offer any favours to a boy who won't kill a pumpkin so I down the beer, slug some bourbon and take aim and – every varmint in the state duck – start massacring trees. Then everyone is shooting. It's like a small war. Someone zooms by me on a quad bike with a machine gun in one hand, splattering veg left right and centre. It's like an organic veg version of Mad Max.
I've no idea how many people died that night. My ears rang for about four days. Mary Lou never looked at me quite the same. I think you shot a squirrel, she said. Collateral damage.
Post by: Jurek on 07 October, 2015, 10:35:59 pm
Class.
Post by: Legs on 08 October, 2015, 09:00:52 am
Post by: ian on 08 October, 2015, 12:59:35 pm
I also had my first lesson in gun safety that day, as one of my new gun-toting buddies points the nasty end of a large shotgun at me and says 'son, never ever do this' and then jabs it at me to make the point. 'Might. Go. Off.' 'You gotta treat a gun right.' This was the same chap who was using the gun as an armrest earlier.
No one tried to shoot a crawfish to my knowledge, though they did shoot the barrel they were cooked in, a traditional sacrifice to the gods of gunpowder and freshwater crustaceans.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 October, 2015, 01:02:32 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 08 October, 2015, 05:23:01 pm
It was the close of cycle patrol convention festivities hosted by BRFD and as one of the international guests, getting really relaxed was a given, whether I wanted to or not.
I think the evening might have finished with one of the FD dudes removing the couple of yards of duct tape that had been wound round my chest earlier in the day due to rib breakage. It took some hair and skin with it.
*I think it was more the gallons of beer that did it than the pound or so of crawfish.
Post by: Feanor on 08 October, 2015, 07:23:59 pm
- God Squad: "Send yer cash to the Jimmy Swaggart church of Prostitutes" etc;
- Highly compressed Stadium Rock, with a promise never to play anything you've not heard a million times before, punctuated with ads for every Cajun Food Joint for miles around. Best crawdads in town! they proclaimed. They all seemed to prominently feature the phrase "Suck them heads!"
Post by: ian on 08 October, 2015, 10:34:13 pm
Really, I'm not hot on the entire crustacean thing. I can manage prawns though I would rather not. I remember once in Boston trying to ignore my girlfriend dismembering a lobster when splat, guts down my front. She looks at me and says 'was that me?' Like lobster guts just rain from the sky. Not even in Maine, honey.
Oh, and Baltimore crabs. You have to, they insist. These people are monsters, after about five minutes there's bits of crab everywhere, legs, claws, bits of shell. It's like someone has dropped a daisy cutter on a beach. Carnage. I don't need to see that and I definitely don't want to eat it.
Post by: billplumtree on 09 October, 2015, 12:19:22 pm
They have vegetarians in West Virginia? :o
I was a bit surprised at that an'all. Until
Yep, suck them heads. It's a thing. Everyone slurping out those crispy little craniums like short-changed zombies ... dismembering a lobster when splat, guts down my front ... bits of crab everywhere, legs, claws, bits of shell
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 October, 2015, 12:34:53 pm
Post by: Ruthie on 17 October, 2015, 09:55:21 pm
It was bloody disgusting. The service was non-existent - I'm still waiting for more parmesan on my pasta, and for my coffee, and I've been home twenty minutes. And the seat I had was directly under a freezing cold draught which stank of fag smoke and toilets, in a kind of nasty cycle of stench. There was a cobweb a foot long directly over my head as well.
The best thing you could say about my food was that it was edible. It's left a kind of aftertaste, in a bad way.
The girl who'd organised it would have been mortified if I'd said anything, so I didn't, but really. Yuck.
Post by: David Martin on 17 October, 2015, 10:12:31 pm
They have vegetarians in West Virginia? :o
They are the ones who have a salad with the steak..
Post by: ian on 17 October, 2015, 10:16:27 pm
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Post by: contango on 18 October, 2015, 05:02:46 am
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
If it's any consolation I didn't try advocaat again. It didn't taste nice the first time, didn't taste nice the second time, didn't taste nice the third time, so I applied a simple "three strikes" policy and the advocaat was out. As it happens, so were the aubergines and avocados.
Today's exciting food-related venture was Punkin Chunkin. Lots of redneck hillbillies, lots of catapults and trebuchets, and lots of pumpkins smashed to pieces as they hit the waters of the lake at speed. Sadly they didn't have opportunities to fling baskets of aubergines and avocados instead of pumpkins.
Post by: Tigerrr on 18 October, 2015, 08:24:18 am
I've just been out to a leaving 'do' at a restaurant in Darlo.I have tried to find Darlo on the map in order to avoid it but to no avail. Is it an abbreviation of Darlington? In which case it was already on the list of places not to go to.
It was bloody disgusting. The service was non-existent - I'm still waiting for more parmesan on my pasta, and for my coffee, and I've been home twenty minutes. And the seat I had was directly under a freezing cold draught which stank of fag smoke and toilets, in a kind of nasty cycle of stench. There was a cobweb a foot long directly over my head as well.
The best thing you could say about my food was that it was edible. It's left a kind of aftertaste, in a bad way.
The girl who'd organised it would have been mortified if I'd said anything, so I didn't, but really. Yuck.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 18 October, 2015, 04:01:20 pm
Post by: tiermat on 18 October, 2015, 04:31:52 pm
Post by: Ruthie on 18 October, 2015, 06:13:13 pm
Name and shame, Ruthie.
Foffano's, Market Square, Darlington.
You get what you pay for, for sure.
Tigerr, this is a restaurant in the town of Darlington.
Darlington is very nice. This restaurant is not.
There are excellent restaurants in Darlington.
Do you understand now?
Post by: Tigerrr on 18 October, 2015, 07:00:45 pm
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2015, 07:36:47 pm
Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.
IIRC they have been pressing north since the big supermarket sell-off of the mid-noughties and have successfully invaded Scotland.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2015, 08:05:22 pm
The importation of fresh curry leaves into EU is now banned. >:( >:( Still, at least the risk of edible greenery based jihad is reduced. ::-)Waaaaaaah? Why?
Post by: madcow on 18 October, 2015, 09:00:16 pm
https://www.asian-voice.com/News/UK/London/Ban-on-fresh-curry-leaves-disappoint-British-Asians (https://www.asian-voice.com/News/UK/London/Ban-on-fresh-curry-leaves-disappoint-British-Asians)
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 18 October, 2015, 10:06:26 pm
Post by: David Martin on 18 October, 2015, 11:09:50 pm
The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.It would have a negative impact on Britain because we are part of the EU (at the moment) and thus if any of the citrus growing nations suffer then we all would suffer. I am struggling to see how curry leaves could transmit the pathogen though.
Post by: Tigerrr on 19 October, 2015, 01:15:14 pm
You are right. There is now a very handy map of Waitrose locations all over the country for the benefit of travelling Londoners. That must be a boon.Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.
IIRC they have been pressing north since the big supermarket sell-off of the mid-noughties and have successfully invaded Scotland.
Post by: Pickled Onion on 19 October, 2015, 01:55:20 pm
Name and shame, Ruthie.
Foffano's, Market Square, Darlington.
Appears to have a lot of 5-star reviews on trip advisor. Might be worth adding your opinion.
Post by: menthel on 19 October, 2015, 02:07:57 pm
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Post by: madcow on 19 October, 2015, 07:51:34 pm
The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.
This is probably an E.U Directive so it will be to protect the citrus crop in Southern Europe.
Post by: ian on 20 October, 2015, 08:53:54 am
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.
I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.
I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).
Post by: menthel on 20 October, 2015, 09:01:05 am
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.
I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.
I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).
Go Turkish for Imam biyaldi. Will blow your mind.
Rant at something worthwhile, like dragonfruit- look amazing and taste of absolutely zero.
Post by: Efrogwr on 20 October, 2015, 11:17:22 am
Blue bols, orange juice and vodka. Don't bother; it's the colour of army issue socks.
Post by: T42 on 20 October, 2015, 03:37:46 pm
Post by: Tigerrr on 20 October, 2015, 07:37:43 pm
Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch. He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt. :facepalm:As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.
Post by: ian on 20 October, 2015, 08:43:50 pm
Go Turkish for Imam biyaldi. Will blow your mind.
Rant at something worthwhile, like dragonfruit- look amazing and taste of absolutely zero.
I have ventured through the entire rubbery landscape of aubergine, from the Palace of Disappointment through to the rolling Foothills of Despair. I've walked the streets of the grand city of Meh. I've listened to the pleadings of the people. I've been petitioned before the court of King Brinjal, and attended the Church of the Holy Eggplant Pope. Nothing they say, no whispered blessing, no furtive bribe, can turn me. The truth is taller than any mountain, deeper than any sea. The aubergine is dull. Sure, it dresses up nice, but believe me, an evening with an aubergine is going nowhere.
You may as well eat decaying rubber grommets.
And with you on the dragonfruit though. I remember years ago in Hong Kong seeing one, carved up in the breakfast buffet. I'm having you, my little mysterious juicy fruit. I may as well have ate my spoon. Another food item dressed to the nines in promise.
Post by: menthel on 21 October, 2015, 01:03:13 pm
Post by: T42 on 21 October, 2015, 01:14:14 pm
Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch. He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt. :facepalm:As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.
Well it didn't work on the boudin antillais so I thought...
Post by: Tigerrr on 26 October, 2015, 12:17:27 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 26 October, 2015, 01:07:48 pm
Post by: perpetual dan on 26 October, 2015, 10:43:55 pm
Post by: contango on 27 October, 2015, 04:14:33 am
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.
I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.
If you cook an aubergine at 400 degrees for about six hours it tastes of charcoal, which tastes better than aubergine. Not that that's saying much. You can also write with them, which is probably about the only potential use for an aubergine except possibly as a projectile weapon.
Quote
I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).
Perhaps we do agree on the advocaat issue, because I also drink it only on special occasions. I'm thinking the 10th anniversary of my death would be the first such special occasion ever to occur.
Post by: rafletcher on 27 October, 2015, 08:20:38 am
I just purchased a fine luncheon of snickers bars - 4 for a £1 deal in Tesco. Imagine my disgust when on opening the generously proportioned outer wrapping I discovered the actual bars are tiny! This is yet another example of Tescos losing the plot. I will in future buy the imitation mars bars in Aldi.
Nothing to do with Tesco - they're just the retailer. Manufacturers have been doing this for years. Save your ire for them.
Now, Majestic. Oh, so you've decided that the 6 bottle minimum will be scrapped have you? So there I was (foolishly of course) hoping we'd see pricing as in Scotland (where alcohol promotions are illegal) and get decent single bottle prices. But no. I look at a Cotes de Rhone I like, which used to be around £9 a bottle "single" price, reduced to £7 each if you bought 2 (as part of a 6 bottle case). Now £10.65 each with a "discount" of 25% - but only if you buy 6! So the discount is still only available if you buy 6 (although it can be 6 individual bottles now, but the discount may only be 10% in that case). First World complaint or what :)
Post by: Legs on 27 October, 2015, 08:59:01 am
Perhaps we do agree on the advocaat issue, because I also drink it only on special occasions. I'm thinking the 10th anniversary of my death would be the first such special occasion ever to occur.Never drunk Advocaat, but I made my own eggnog at Christmas last year and it was FAB. I'm a sucker for spicy, alcofrolic beverages, though... I've got some spiced sloe rum happily infusing in the depths of my cellar. :thumbsup:
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 October, 2015, 03:30:49 pm
Post by: L CC on 27 October, 2015, 04:53:56 pm
I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
Post by: menthel on 27 October, 2015, 05:51:49 pm
I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
Eviction is too good for her!
Post by: ian on 27 October, 2015, 08:33:30 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 28 October, 2015, 12:18:19 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 October, 2015, 12:23:09 pm
I fear for your daughter's soul. She needs stern action now, before she treads further on the road to margarine.I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
Post by: menthel on 28 October, 2015, 12:55:13 pm
I don't know, when I die I want to be wrapped in Dairylea cheese slices and lightly toasted.
Plastic cheese has its uses, dirtying up burgers etc. There is no excuse for lighter cheddar or any low fat cheese. Yuck.
Post by: billplumtree on 28 October, 2015, 01:08:14 pm
If my grandma wasn't long-dead, you could have sent the boablet to her for re-education. My between-meals treat at her house was a slab of decent cheddar, spread thickly with butter and dipped in sugar.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.I fear for your daughter's soul. She needs stern action now, before she treads further on the road to margarine.
(I have, I believe, mentioned my blocked artery previously...)
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 October, 2015, 01:12:11 pm
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
Post by: Pickled Onion on 28 October, 2015, 01:25:23 pm
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
When buying fruit and veg in other countries in Europe, it is quite remarkable for
(a) not looking perfect; and
(b) tasting at least 100 times better.
Post by: Tigerrr on 29 October, 2015, 11:10:07 am
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
When buying fruit and veg in other countries in Europe, it is quite remarkable for
(a) not looking perfect; and
(b) tasting at least 100 times better.
I am all for misshapen veg but I dont see how it can taste 100x better.
Post by: ian on 29 October, 2015, 11:28:58 am
I don't know, when I die I want to be wrapped in Dairylea cheese slices and lightly toasted.
Plastic cheese has its uses, dirtying up burgers etc. There is no excuse for lighter cheddar or any low fat cheese. Yuck.
Low fat cheese is an abomination. I love plastic cheese (elegantly named in the US as 'processed cheese food product') possibly more than any other kind of cheese [food product]. One of my favourite sandwiches is just that. It has zen-like simplicity. If you want to jazz it up, add some ready salted crisps.
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 29 October, 2015, 11:54:44 am
Usually the better taste is an accidental result of the veg/fruit having been picked for ripeness or aroma. Or being a specific variety that tastes good rather than looking cosmetically perfect.I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
When buying fruit and veg in other countries in Europe, it is quite remarkable for
(a) not looking perfect; and
(b) tasting at least 100 times better.
I am all for misshapen veg but I dont see how it can taste 100x better.
Post by: billplumtree on 29 October, 2015, 01:04:57 pm
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general.
Such a shame, ian, that you don't live near Keighley.
(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-07/30/5/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-1869-1438249391-1.jpg)
Post by: rafletcher on 29 October, 2015, 01:47:00 pm
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2015, 07:10:53 pm
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
I'm all for nostalgic crisp sandwiches, but Walkers have minged ever since they started frying them in triffid oil. Not wanting to support the triffid industry (any apocalypse where the winners end up holed up on the Isle of Wight is best avoided in my book), I eschew Walkers except for salt-depletion pub ride emergencies.
Post by: perpetual dan on 29 October, 2015, 08:13:29 pm
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
To my mind it is being a helper at cub camp, so similar. With a sugar sandwich for afters.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 October, 2015, 11:51:12 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 30 October, 2015, 08:42:50 am
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
To my mind it is being a helper at cub camp, so similar. With a sugar sandwich for afters.
My childhood abounds with Deth Sandwiches. There is your perennial favourite the aforementioned crisp sandwich. For variety there is the condensed milk sandwich. The alluded to sugar sandwich- granulated, brown, demerera depending on the mood and the tomato ketchup sandwich.
Why am I still alive? I didn't think my Nan had it in for me.
Post by: Efrogwr on 30 October, 2015, 10:27:49 am
... Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
It's also the sound of my dotage.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 30 October, 2015, 12:26:03 pm
Ack and, moreover, ptui! What kind of a sillybollocks puts fucking cloves in with rice :sick:Me, if I'm making pilau.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2015, 12:50:09 pm
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2015, 12:52:41 pm
Post by: Wascally Weasel on 30 October, 2015, 12:53:34 pm
Pshaw! It's like eating twigs. Do I look like a giraffe?
Um, we didn't want to say but we've been meaning to have the conversation with you for some time.
"Your father, your father was actually a giraffe".
Apparently he ended up in Dudley zoo. It's a sad story really.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2015, 01:15:11 pm
Giraffes eat leaves. It's ducks that eat twigs.
Ducks eat bread, in spite of the best efforts of some bunch of dogoodniks trying to persuade people to feed them with things that are not bread, like sweet cron, peas, coal, Lewis Hamilton ect ect.
ETA: giraffes do eat twigs, also grass, fruit, power tools and retired Headmasters of minor public schools. I read it on the Internet, apart from the bits I just made up.
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2015, 01:59:58 pm
Giraffes eat leaves. It's ducks that eat twigs.
Ducks eat bread, in spite of the best efforts of some bunch of dogoodniks trying to persuade people to feed them with things that are not bread, like sweet cron, peas, coal, Lewis Hamilton ect ect.
Ohdog, not again.
The "do ducks eat bread or sticks" debate was an ongoing argument between me and one of my exes. We eventually resorted to empirical testing, but the results were declared invalid because: a) Toast isn't the same as bread b) Yes, the duck ate the twigs, but it spat them out again afterwards and c) The ducks were chased off by a mob of geese who'd got wind of baked goods before we could repeat the experiment.
We concluded that geese were bullies, and twigs probably tasted better than the college toast anyway.
Post by: rafletcher on 30 October, 2015, 02:47:38 pm
Pshaw! It's like eating twigs. Do I look like a giraffe?
Think yourself lucky it wasn't cinnamon bark. Or cardamom pods.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 October, 2015, 09:28:40 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2015, 11:28:37 pm
Post by: ian on 04 November, 2015, 07:19:26 pm
I just ate a bad strawberry. You know the mouldy, funky taste. They were all like that. Tricked me into thinking that were fine, but they tasted of mould and nothing else. Worse, I tried half the pack before I gave up. Ick. Fruit are dangerous.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 November, 2015, 08:43:02 pm
1: Lie.
Post by: andrewc on 05 November, 2015, 06:18:47 pm
[
My childhood abounds with Deth Sandwiches. There is your perennial favourite the aforementioned crisp sandwich. For variety there is the condensed milk sandwich. The alluded to sugar sandwich- granulated, brown, demerera depending on the mood and the tomato ketchup sandwich.
Why am I still alive? I didn't think my Nan had it in for me.
Mine used to feed me dripping butties! Nom!
Hmmmm... Beef dripping garlic butter (http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/food-and-drink/modern-european/restaurant-review-cedar-gin-fire) :P
Post by: Canardly on 05 November, 2015, 07:59:50 pm
Post by: contango on 06 November, 2015, 05:14:22 am
Perhaps we do agree on the advocaat issue, because I also drink it only on special occasions. I'm thinking the 10th anniversary of my death would be the first such special occasion ever to occur.Never drunk Advocaat, but I made my own eggnog at Christmas last year and it was FAB. I'm a sucker for spicy, alcofrolic beverages, though... I've got some spiced sloe rum happily infusing in the depths of my cellar. :thumbsup:
A friend of mine soaked a moruga scorpion pepper in a half-bottle of vodka. That stuff is evil. He said when the pepper was newly introduced to the vodka he could see a blob of capsaicin emerge from it and float to the top of the vodka.
Post by: fuzzy on 06 November, 2015, 01:39:46 pm
[
My childhood abounds with Deth Sandwiches. There is your perennial favourite the aforementioned crisp sandwich. For variety there is the condensed milk sandwich. The alluded to sugar sandwich- granulated, brown, demerera depending on the mood and the tomato ketchup sandwich.
Why am I still alive? I didn't think my Nan had it in for me.
Mine used to feed me dripping butties! Nom!
Hmmmm... Beef dripping garlic butter (http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/food-and-drink/modern-european/restaurant-review-cedar-gin-fire) :P
Just had for the first time- white bread roll cut in half. Peanut butter (crunchy) on one half. Marmite on the other, ready salted crisps in between.
Nom nom nom :D
Post by: geraldc on 06 November, 2015, 03:48:48 pm
It's a bottle of blended vintage champagnes. Not too ostentatious then
Post by: Tigerrr on 08 November, 2015, 08:26:26 am
Post by: Oaky on 08 November, 2015, 08:34:02 am
I have a sneaky suspicion this is yet another way of appearing interesting for insecure narcissists, but maybe there is something in it.
.
.
.
I wonder if perhaps I ought to be gluten intolerant too.
There you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oht9AEq1798
Post by: Tigerrr on 08 November, 2015, 09:20:06 am
Post by: tiermat on 08 November, 2015, 09:31:36 am
Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Crohn's completely unrelated to diet.
Unless, of course you meant old ladies with crooked nose and warty faces, in which case, carry on.
Post by: rr on 08 November, 2015, 11:07:33 pm
Yuck where's the gin
Post by: hellymedic on 08 November, 2015, 11:11:34 pm
Aldi Gin and Tonic Crisps
Yuck where's the gin
Pringles did some vile Christmas Special flavour last year.
I'll have a look for this year's offering...
..they don't seem to have one!
ETA Looking at yacf from last year, Mint Choc Chip and Sweet Cinnamon were seasonal Pringles flavours :sick: :sick:
Post by: contango on 08 November, 2015, 11:26:08 pm
Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
What a wasted opportunity for a bad pun. All you had to do was throw in vegetarians and then could have raised the steaks instead.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 November, 2015, 01:53:00 am
Seagoon: But I'm a vegetarian!
G-T: Very well, tie him to a stick of celery!
Post by: Tigerrr on 09 November, 2015, 07:30:34 am
You are right! I knew a woman who had crowns disease in the 80s and she couldn't eat loads of things, so I assumed it was a food related problem. Lazy thinking on my part.Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Crohn's completely unrelated to diet.
Unless, of course you meant old ladies with crooked nose and warty faces, in which case, carry on.
Post by: barakta on 09 November, 2015, 01:19:59 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 November, 2015, 02:35:20 pm
You are right! I knew a woman who had crowns disease in the 80s and she couldn't eat loads of things, so I assumed it was a food related problem. Lazy thinking on my part.Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Crohn's completely unrelated to diet.
Unless, of course you meant old ladies with crooked nose and warty faces, in which case, carry on.
I didn't realise you spent time hobnobbing with royalty :demon:
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 November, 2015, 09:52:09 am
Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool.Please excuse me if I find this about as funny as a kick in the balls.
Some of us can't eat gluten. Some of us have been poked, prodded and tested using science and informed that we need to cease eating anything containing wheat or similar grains.
Some of us would love to be able to eat a takeaway pizza, buy cake, pastries, even a Ginster's pasty.
Post by: tiermat on 10 November, 2015, 10:33:55 am
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
...and some of us are on scary drugs to control it.
Over the years I have heard MANY misconception about Crohn's, the most common of which is "Oh, that's sort of like IBS, isn't it?" Well, in so far as it can cause a painful stomach, yes. AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though. Neither do they, usually, deal with IBS with a bowel re-section, or immune supressant drugs.
Post by: Kim on 10 November, 2015, 01:20:35 pm
AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though.
Suicide maybe, but that tends to be self-limiting by lack of lethal objects in arm's reach of the toilet.
None of these conditions are funny.
TBH, I don't think dietary fads are particularly funny either.
Post by: tiermat on 10 November, 2015, 02:11:56 pm
TBH, I don't think dietary fads are particularly funny either.
Amen!
Post by: hellymedic on 10 November, 2015, 02:24:18 pm
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
...and some of us are on scary drugs to control it.
Over the years I have heard MANY misconception about Crohn's, the most common of which is "Oh, that's sort of like IBS, isn't it?" Well, in so far as it can cause a painful stomach, yes. AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though. Neither do they, usually, deal with IBS with a bowel re-section, or immune supressant drugs.
I have a problem with the abbreviations used for these things. IBD = Inflammatory Bowel Disease usually Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis (UC)
IBS =Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
My brane is easily confuddled.
Post by: Basil on 10 November, 2015, 06:07:00 pm
Irritable Bastard Syndrome, she points out. >:(
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 November, 2015, 06:13:07 pm
Post by: Tigerrr on 10 November, 2015, 06:31:11 pm
Fully appreciate your point - I guess gluten intolerance is a bit like OCD, in that it is common now to hear people claiming to be a bit bit OCD as if it were an interesting facet of their character - which I know pisses the hell out of actual sufferers for whom it can be a life of misery. Real conditions get trivialised when they are adopted as social accessories.Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool.Please excuse me if I find this about as funny as a kick in the balls.
Some of us can't eat gluten. Some of us have been poked, prodded and tested using science and informed that we need to cease eating anything containing wheat or similar grains.
Some of us would love to be able to eat a takeaway pizza, buy cake, pastries, even a Ginster's pasty.
Post by: Basil on 10 November, 2015, 06:44:43 pm
Better that than suffer from IDS.
¿Qué? ???
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 November, 2015, 06:55:38 pm
Better that than suffer from IDS.
¿Qué? ???
One of these:
(click to show/hide)
Warning: may not be suitable for younger readers.
Post by: Jaded on 11 November, 2015, 12:12:35 am
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
...and some of us are on scary drugs to control it.
Over the years I have heard MANY misconception about Crohn's, the most common of which is "Oh, that's sort of like IBS, isn't it?" Well, in so far as it can cause a painful stomach, yes. AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though. Neither do they, usually, deal with IBS with a bowel re-section, or immune supressant drugs.
Yeah, my Crohn's is only a bit poo.
So I'm less concerned with finding toilets and more with the (now) annual black lizard ride.
Post by: contango on 12 November, 2015, 03:16:36 am
AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though.
Suicide maybe, but that tends to be self-limiting by lack of lethal objects in arm's reach of the toilet.
None of these conditions are funny.
TBH, I don't think dietary fads are particularly funny either.
Dietary fads are tedious.
If someone has a genuine dietary requirement I don't have a problem with going the extra mile to accommodate them. If someone is deathly allergic to something I don't want them going into anaphylactic shock when they come to have dinner with me. I don't really feel like hunting down obscure ingredients and rejigging the entire menu just because someone doesn't feel like eating dairy this week.
Post by: hellymedic on 12 November, 2015, 01:21:23 pm
Obtaining Lactofree milk is very easy for a lazy online shopper.
I don't do much Clever Cookery so there's just all the other milk-free stuffs they can eat.
Simples.
I appreciate things would be different if I did Clever Cookery.
I'd probably just substitute Lactofree for ordinary cow juice throughout.
Post by: ian on 12 November, 2015, 06:01:55 pm
If you spend any time in the US, you'll know the danger of peanuts. Now there's a significant and growing allergy problem and certainly peanuts have a couple of potent allergens. But, firstly, most reactions to peanuts are minor. Very, very few people have significant reactions. Most US parents will tell you about someone they know whose kid died from peanuts (which is unlikely, given that the death rate from peanut-associated anaphylactic shock hovers around one per year in the US) thusly the peanut panic (which spreads to all nuts, and there's no relationship at all between almonds, peanuts, and walnuts). There is no safe-level of peanuts and anyone who even, for a moment, thinks of peanuts is like Mr Hitler's Rabid Dog. Remember the story about someone opening a bag on a plane and causing a child to perhaps, nearly, a little bit die? An immune system needs a good kick to get going, that's not one peanut molecule per plane (new SI measure of peanuttery to be approved).
But it's strangely fashionable to parade a child as fashionably peanut (or otherwise) allergic. There's an entire trade in home diagnosis so parents don't have to go through the trouble of consulting an actual allergist.
Post by: hellymedic on 12 November, 2015, 07:18:43 pm
It kills around 150/year in the USA according to Wiki.
Post by: ian on 12 November, 2015, 08:15:09 pm
Anyway, it's not an argument that people aren't allergic to peanuts and in a small subset it can very serious, but that it's assumed to be a killer. The traffic pollution caused by parents driving their children to school will kill far more of them than peanuts will ever do. A vast industry had grown up around nuts, people really go out of their way in ways that the anti-gluten industry must envy to avoid stray peanut molecules. I know plenty of people who avoid peanuts but have certainly never been formally diagnosed. They remember once being ill. We also seem to have stretched the definition of nuts to the botanically meaningless 'tree nuts.' So you have peanut-allergic people who will die if they eat a cherry bakewell (peanuts are legumes, almonds are the kernel of type of peach stone).
Apropos of nothing, but my wife is convinced she'll die if stung by a bee. She was stung as a child and swelled up and had to be rushed to hospital. She's very sure about this. The other year, she related this story in front of her parents. They both claim it never happened, it was just a minor bee sting. I'm staying out of that one. I've never been stung by a bee or a wasp. We have an agreement.
Post by: barakta on 12 November, 2015, 08:44:18 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 12 November, 2015, 10:00:23 pm
He had the tests and was off the scale.
He is happy on Lactofree.
Post by: barakta on 12 November, 2015, 10:39:44 pm
Post by: contango on 13 November, 2015, 04:45:44 am
My Dad and barakta are seriously lactose intolerant.
Obtaining Lactofree milk is very easy for a lazy online shopper.
I don't do much Clever Cookery so there's just all the other milk-free stuffs they can eat.
Simples.
I appreciate things would be different if I did Clever Cookery.
I'd probably just substitute Lactofree for ordinary cow juice throughout.
Sure, if someone has a genuine requirement and they're worth inviting to dinner then they're worth making an effort to make sure they can actually eat dinner.
If someone just feels like being excessively picky this week I don't necessarily feel like making a special journey or placing a special order and paying delivery charges just to humour them.
Post by: Kim on 13 November, 2015, 01:09:08 pm
Sure, if someone has a genuine requirement and they're worth inviting to dinner then they're worth making an effort to make sure they can actually eat dinner.
If someone just feels like being excessively picky this week I don't necessarily feel like making a special journey or placing a special order and paying delivery charges just to humour them.
How do you tell the difference, thobut?
Post by: ian on 13 November, 2015, 01:33:57 pm
Post by: menthel on 13 November, 2015, 02:16:20 pm
It seems to correlate strongly with belief in alternative healing practices, homeopathy, and hanging around Holland & Barrett stores.
But H&B sell those well tasty sweet chilli crackers. Deep fried goodness but as purchased from a health food shop entirely good for you!
Post by: Kim on 13 November, 2015, 02:30:16 pm
Post by: geraldc on 13 November, 2015, 02:37:06 pm
Post by: Kim on 13 November, 2015, 02:59:12 pm
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
Post by: SteveC on 13 November, 2015, 03:05:30 pm
Holland and Barrett isn't a real healthfood store, it's national multiple chain, disguising itself behind a thin veneer of healthiness. I grew up being dragged to a healthfood store called Arjuna in Cambridge, now that's a real healthfood store. It has a distinctive smell that gives me nightmares to this day. It's all tie dyes, lentils and pulses, with badly photocopied leaflets on a wide range of crackpot ideas.I have their cookbook somewhere. Had some decent recipes for a broke no longer a student type.
And while we're on a nostalgic proper whole food shop thing, anyone else remember Danaan's in Southampton?
Post by: Jurek on 13 November, 2015, 03:23:28 pm
I used to score a particular brand of multi-vitamin from them.
Until they stopped stocking it (as well as the rest of the range) on account of the manufacturer having become unethical :o
Post by: fuzzy on 13 November, 2015, 03:53:27 pm
Holland and Barrett isn't a real healthfood store, it's national multiple chain, disguising itself behind a thin veneer of healthiness. I grew up being dragged to a healthfood store called Arjuna in Cambridge, now that's a real healthfood store. It has a distinctive smell that gives me nightmares to this day. It's all tie dyes, lentils and pulses, with badly photocopied leaflets on a wide range of crackpot ideas.
I once purchased something from H&B to aid with sore joints. My requirement was something suitable for an asprin allergy sufferer.
On checking the product upon my return home- 'Not suitable if allergic to asprin' ::-)
Post by: L CC on 13 November, 2015, 04:23:24 pm
Centre of the known universe. I think gluten is banned in Jesmond, now.
Post by: Jakob W on 13 November, 2015, 05:09:44 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 13 November, 2015, 06:35:34 pm
Post by: CrinklyLion on 13 November, 2015, 07:22:21 pm
Anyway, I think that the tricky or complex food needs of obnoxious people are a pain in the arse, whether they are 'genuine' or 'faddy' or whatever. This is because the person is obnoxious, not because their dietary requirements are.
For everyone else... well, I don't think it is up to me to judge or police what other people eat. There can be a billion and one different reasons that someone does or doesn't eat a particular food stuff and it makes no difference to me what those reasons are, I still aim to respect 'em. Apart from my kids, natch. It's my Job to oblige them to eat vits and mins and stuff. But otherwise I reckon that the Underpants Rule (https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/the-underpants-rule-and-you/) applies.
Post by: contango on 14 November, 2015, 12:22:08 am
Sure, if someone has a genuine requirement and they're worth inviting to dinner then they're worth making an effort to make sure they can actually eat dinner.
If someone just feels like being excessively picky this week I don't necessarily feel like making a special journey or placing a special order and paying delivery charges just to humour them.
How do you tell the difference, thobut?
The first time it's hard to tell so you'd have to assume it wasn't just a fad. But if their dietary requirements shifted with what was trendy at the moment then I'd be inclined to ask some questions.
Ultimately I suppose if someone is really going to be so picky that they can only be fed by going to ever-increasing lengths to source unicorn tears and organically grown magic beans then sooner or later it becomes easier to meet them for lunch somewhere, and pass the problem onto someone else.
Post by: contango on 14 November, 2015, 12:23:47 am
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
You can usually tell health foods easily, on the basis they generally have less taste than the packaging they came in.
Post by: ian on 14 November, 2015, 12:46:18 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 14 November, 2015, 04:59:45 pm
Post by: benborp on 14 November, 2015, 07:29:30 pm
Thinking back, once we knew what was going on my family treated me appallingly. Family events with no provision for me, sneering remarks if I brought my own food, turning up en mass at my home while my wife and I were working, clearing the cupboards for a slap up meal and allowing me to return past ten to be told 'I don't think there's anything for you, we don't know what you eat anymore.' It's one of the things that alienated them from my wife, who tried so much to keep food (one of our shared simple pleasures) interesting for us both. Eventually it all proved to taste and look too brown for her to bear anymore.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 November, 2015, 07:53:37 pm
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).A propos of which, I had occasion today to introduce a world-famous published author and distinguished university professor* to the phrase 'lesbian tea'. Unfortunately we never got as far as lesbian biscuits.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
*Some of these adjectives might be lies. Apart from 'published'. Whether read is another matter.
Post by: Tigerrr on 14 November, 2015, 09:54:45 pm
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).Back in the 70s I was a squatter in central London - as one was in this days. A whole foods shop opened selling pulses from recycled tea chests and barrels so I visited to get some red kidney beans. I still remember the look on the guys face as he asked what I was intending t do with the large sack of beans. I said 'Oh they are great with a load of mince and onion and chile'. I think he would have refused to sell me the beans if only he had known in advance.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
Post by: fuzzy on 16 November, 2015, 11:10:36 am
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).Back in the 70s I was a squatter in central London - as one was in this days. A whole foods shop opened selling pulses from recycled tea chests and barrels so I visited to get some red kidney beans. I still remember the look on the guys face as he asked what I was intending t do with the large sack of beans. I said 'Oh they are great with a load of mince and onion and chile'. I think he would have refused to sell me the beans if only he had known in advance.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
I think the horror was the prospect of adding red kidney beans to a country before you ate it.
Post by: fuzzy on 18 November, 2015, 11:24:15 am
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
Post by: hellymedic on 18 November, 2015, 03:07:48 pm
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
Do people still eat these?
It must be decades since one passed my lips. They're a 'Taste of the Seventies' IMHO...
Post by: fuzzy on 18 November, 2015, 03:58:45 pm
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
Do people still eat these?
It must be decades since one passed my lips. They're a 'Taste of the Seventies' IMHO...
Sadly yes. It is one of two varieties offered by the canteen. The other being Red Delicious ::-)
Post by: ian on 18 November, 2015, 06:43:25 pm
Anyway, I'm a bit dubious about apples, I gag if I get once of those mushy or dry textured one. It's always a swift whack on the head with a stale madeleine that sends me tumbling back to that moment in my grandparents' parlour when I sink my teeth into that apple.
Supermarket apples are naff in general, no matter what they claim. We were wandering around Kent the other year when we stumbled across a shop on an apple farm and they had several varieties that simply don't make it to the shops. I have never eaten so many apples and they were in a completely different league to anything I've ever bought off the high street.
Post by: rafletcher on 18 November, 2015, 07:49:28 pm
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
The French ones have always been crap. The ones from South Africa used to be fantastic.
Post by: hellymedic on 19 November, 2015, 12:57:31 am
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
The French ones have always been crap. The ones from South Africa used to be fantastic.
I think you have a point.
I think I liked Golden Delicious when I was a teenager and they were OK then but it's such a long time ago...
Post by: contango on 20 November, 2015, 01:31:57 pm
Supermarket apples are naff in general, no matter what they claim. We were wandering around Kent the other year when we stumbled across a shop on an apple farm and they had several varieties that simply don't make it to the shops. I have never eaten so many apples and they were in a completely different league to anything I've ever bought off the high street.
Here in Amish country summer is awash with fresh produce. The supermarkets sell generic rubbish that was fresh, once, a long long time ago in a land far far far away. If you want to know how fresh the produce is here, that morning it was probably still on the plant. That said I bought a bushel of peppers from an Amishman who was very apologetic that they were last week's harvest. Because they weren't fresh he only charged me $3 for the bushel.
Post by: T42 on 21 November, 2015, 05:13:27 pm
Post by: ian on 02 December, 2015, 11:48:59 pm
First off, if food is mouldy, don't eat it. You wouldn't send your tongue galloping recklessly through the black forest of aspergillus on a wall with rising damp so don't think eating mouldy cheese is alright. If something smells like old, sweaty socks, chances are that it's to be avoided. You'd not ask for a second helping old tramp sock broth. Even Oliver Twist would have snuck out for Pot Noodle.
Goat cheese is definitely funky. I once ate a goaty babybel (they're green, be warned) in Buttes-Chaumont park in Paris. The shock made me roll down a hill and into a wall whereupon blood (red) fountained out of my head in quantities that threatened to make a me new tourist attraction. My wife 'apparently' didn't know green was cheese code for toxic-death-cheese. She tells the biggest, fattest lies every known. She's the Mistress of Lies.
But that's nothing compared to the Cheese Dalek. It's like if the French invented an evil robot to store the worst cheeses they could fathom, monuments to funk that even full-on-Frenchies realised were a bit too much, and then decided to dispose of it in space using some kind of primitive rocket-powered trebuchet. For several centuries it patiently orbited the Earth until the day it fell and landed in twenty-first century Montreuil-sur-Mer. Not knowing what to do with it and fearing for the world, the owners of a nearby restaurant decided the very best place to hide a cheese-filled robot horror machine from the middle ages was in their cellar dining room. Maybe, they thought, someone would just think it was antique furniture or somesuch, the kind of thing that lies around restaurants pour character.
That just happened to be the restaurant we'd booked. Now there was a bit of a smell, but the building had been around working up a sweat since the thirteenth century, and look at the all that period furniture, how utterly charming. But the smell got worse and worse. First I assumed that maybe they'd embedded plague victims in the wall, or that someone had inadvertently opened a hell portal and then invited all the demons to a all your-can-eat Jerusalem artichoke and asparagus festival.
I soldiered on till the dessert course. The waiter pulls out the cabinet behind me. I realised then that it was no cabinet. It was the Cheese Dalek. Within, o the horror, the horror. Even the waiter made an involuntary 'eugh' noise.
Subsequent research would seem to indicate the beating heart of the beast was Vieux Boulogne.
Post by: jsabine on 03 December, 2015, 12:35:32 am
Do you have a link to reservations for the Cheese Dalek?
Post by: ian on 03 December, 2015, 12:51:40 am
You wonder what happened to the mer in Montreuil-sur-Mer. It ran from the Cheese Robot, that's what. I hate to think how powerful the Cheese Robot grown in the last decade. It's probably too late to stop it, even with some Pacific Rim scale robo-thumping shenanigans.
Post by: Tigerrr on 03 December, 2015, 07:15:35 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 03 December, 2015, 10:19:13 pm
Guardian smelliest cheese article (http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/nov/26/research.highereducation)
I can't believe that Brebis is not on that list. That's the worst smelling cheese ever. Edit- probably just the stuff we had on Corsica.
Post by: spesh on 03 December, 2015, 10:32:35 pm
I was disappointed to see that it looks nothing like a Dalek.
Guardian smelliest cheese article (http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/nov/26/research.highereducation)
I can't believe that Brebis is not on that list. That's the worst smelling cheese ever. Edit- probably just the stuff we had on Corsica.
As any student of the Asterix books will know, Corsican cheeses are lethal. ;D
https://horadecubitus.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/img11.jpg
Quote from: a cheese enthusiast on a Corsican cheese
... it was probably moments past a point and oozing on the plate, a delicious, meaty, pungent, barnyardy, dirty-socky, floral, grassy cheese, and I loved it, but there was no denying that smelling it up close was like napalming your nostrils.
http://cheesenotes.com/post/7928111260/corsican-a-filetta
Post by: rafletcher on 04 December, 2015, 09:48:28 am
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu
Another "delicacy"
Post by: Tigerrr on 04 December, 2015, 10:34:02 am
There is apparently a norwegian tinned rotted fish that is illegal to open let alone consume indoors.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 December, 2015, 11:40:08 am
Post by: contango on 05 December, 2015, 04:48:34 am
There are plenty of jokes about lutefisk being classified as a weapon of mass destruction. I think it was what killed Stanley Tucci's character utterly to DETH in "Fortitude".
I remember seeing lutefisk on a Norwegian cruise. I'd heard about it and was curious to taste it, but not curious enough to overcome the smell of it.
From what I gather it's basically fish that has been left to rot, then washed with caustic soda, then washed in water to get the caustic soda out again. I think some purists wash with caustic soda and water a second time, although whether that's to make it burn or in a desperate attempt to stop the stuff reeking so badly is another matter.
So short version, I declined the one chance I had to eat lutefisk.
Post by: Marco Stefano on 05 December, 2015, 09:19:59 pm
I tell you, they all smell like air freshener compared to Icelandic fermented shark. I brought some back and left it in the office for 10 minutes open - and cleared the place. I love foul cheese but the shark was beyond me.
There is apparently a norwegian tinned rotted fish that is illegal to open let alone consume indoors.
A food microbiology textbook at work says something like 'most fermented foods are acidic and alkaline fermented foods are decidedly unpalatable, as anyone who has tried to eat Icelandic fermented shark would undoubtably agree.'
A microbiologists' meeting at a Nordic sugar factory ended in a ceremonial opening and eating of a can of 'surstromming' - outside. I am not convinced...
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 December, 2015, 12:45:17 am
Post by: Pingu on 06 December, 2015, 11:10:01 am
...and also some equally hideous-sounding sheep-related culinary atrocity...
Reestit mutton?
Post by: fuzzy on 07 December, 2015, 01:39:30 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 December, 2015, 06:40:18 pm
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
(http://www.iainclaridge.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/hipster6.jpg)
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 December, 2015, 09:06:40 pm
Oddly, there did seem to be glasses in aitcH200Eau (and what a glorious name that is!)
Post by: ian on 21 December, 2015, 11:20:50 pm
So stop fucking buying me chocolate and wine. It's the other stuff.
Post by: TheLurker on 23 December, 2015, 05:13:24 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 December, 2015, 09:51:03 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 23 December, 2015, 10:06:08 pm
If they are as narsty as Milk tray, I shall continue to get my chocolate fix from Mr Sainsbury's Milk Chocolate chips (which are cheap, VAT-free and contain 29% cocoa solids).
Post by: Gattopardo on 24 December, 2015, 01:30:52 am
I tell you, they all smell like air freshener compared to Icelandic fermented shark. I brought some back and left it in the office for 10 minutes open - and cleared the place. I love foul cheese but the shark was beyond me.
There is apparently a norwegian tinned rotted fish that is illegal to open let alone consume indoors.
The icelandic stuff needs to be drunk with the some funny alcohol. Its a bit meh, ate it and didn't enjoy it.
Post by: Gattopardo on 24 December, 2015, 01:33:34 am
There are plenty of jokes about lutefisk being classified as a weapon of mass destruction. I think it was what killed Stanley Tucci's character utterly to DETH in "Fortitude".
Opening a tin under water....have tried it, won't go out of my way to try it again...
Post by: contango on 24 December, 2015, 01:59:25 am
Cadbury's Creme Eggs. On sale. Yesterday. Effing ridiculous. That is all.
Meh, it's a bit late to be stocking the shelves for Easter.
I used to think the best thing about Thanksgiving (well, aside from the chance to eat my own body weight in turkey) was the fact it delayed the
Post by: ian on 05 January, 2016, 10:17:49 am
So, what did I learn.
1. Gluten is the new Hitler.
2. Nigella Lawson keeps a ready stock of roasted sweet potatoes about her house. Explains the lumps in her sofa.
3. Gluten! Argh!
4. A letters page that doesn't mention muslim asylum seekers outside the context of freekeh recipes.
5. I have no idea how to pronounce 'freekeh' so I'm doing it in a funk-style freak-EH! YEAH!
6. It's the new quinoa. Shit. I just learned how to pronounce quinoa. You have no idea how long that took.
7. There's more drizzling going on than Hebden Bridge on a January Wednesday. They drizzle like an incontinent man in a Hozelock factory.
8. Gluten! Argh!
9. Peas on toast is the new avocado on toast. They mess this up big time by not using proper mushy marrowfat peas. Garden peas. FFS.
10. The travel section at the back is upside down.
ObRant: I'm getting more intolerant of gluten intolerance. Soon entire supermarkets will be split down the middle, on one side, the gluten, on the other, the gluten-free. They'll stare and snort, eyeing each other like wary boxers. If I were lactose intolerant I'd be royally pissed off. The antiglutenistas bumped you.
1. Larrer's style footnote (licence fee payable)2
2. Lie. Our neighbours were settled travellers, my dad probably did buy your TV from the neighbour. My grandparents lived on a council estate which was officially posh. Because indoor plumbing.
Post by: contango on 05 January, 2016, 07:25:55 pm
in between amusing myself by watching people trying to park their main urban battle tanks as close to the entrance as possible (I've moved from anecdata, it's true that car size correlates with the need to park as close to the doors as possible)
I'm sure you have fond memories of people in the US moving monstrous SUVs barely 100 yards from the parking area outside one shop to the parking area outside the adjacent shop. Honestly, it would have been a shorter walk to just go from Shop A to Shop B and then to the car, but they insist on walking from Shop A to the car, then driving to Shop B parking, then walking from car to Shop B, rinse and repeat for shops C through whatever. Here the norm is to take the car when you're going to a place the other side of the road. It's truly staggering. And then people wonder why Americans get to weigh more than their SUVs. And that's a challenge, given the size of some of the pickups SUVs over here.
Quote
I also illicitly refilled my coffee
Of course around here there's no such thing as an illicit refill. Sometimes it almost seems as if Not Having Refills is the suspicious behaviour. You don't want a refill? What's wrong with you? How are you supposed to weigh more than your SUV without a huge influx of sugar? Look at you, you can't even weigh 400 pounds yet. Get some more lard down you. And of course when you order an unsweetened ice tea it comes with about six little bags of sugar just in case you change your mind and decide you want it sickly sweet. And then on the table there are more little bags of sugar, and Splenda, and Sweet-N-Low, and whatever other sweetener is out there that's only suitable for people who can have lactose but not glucose, or can have gluten but only if it's kosher, and somewhere among them is the bag of good old fashioned table sugar. Sucrose at its finest. I'm surprised nobody offered pumpkin flavoured sugar in the several weeks either side of Halloween.
Post by: ian on 05 January, 2016, 08:07:25 pm
But this is Surrey, and it's quite a spectacle. There's two strategies. One, favoured by Audi drivers, is simply to stop by the doors and wait for a space to become free. The other (BMWs, Mercedes, the godforsaken) is to orbit the car park like they're looking for a spot anywhere but they're not. They want that spot, right by the doors, and they'll orbit this car park until the sun sparks out if that is what it takes. Then they find a spot. The fun is only just starting. Because British car parks weren't built with cars the size of well-fed brontosaurus dumps in mind. Watching these idiots try to park in such spaces is the seventh funniest thing in the known universe. In. Out. In. A little to the left. No, no, to the left. It's like a Martin Amis description of sex.
There's thread somewhere herein called 'urethral milking' which I was horribly, horribly disappointed to learn wasn't a sex thing I could silkily insert into casual conversation. Instead it's a practical technique for men to empty the more obscure avenues and cul-de-sacs of their willy wonkerish indoor plumping into a toilet bowl rather than their underpants. Anyway, any number of prostate problems can be cured by a hour or two in a NYC diner. There's enough weak coffee refills to ensure any man can probably piss hard enough to hit Pennsylvania. I hit the Liberty Bell from 24th and 3rd the other year.
Kosher. Gluten Free. Paleo. I see it now. I have a pitch for Fox. When Diets Collide.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 January, 2016, 10:25:24 pm
Post by: contango on 06 January, 2016, 04:40:26 am
I remember once, in suburban Virginia, being offered a lift from Chilis to my hotel. On the other side of the modest restaurant parking lot. I was only in Chilis because it was the nearest source of beer-related beverages. I'm like seriously, I can see my room. And yes, I said it like a teenage girl. Wither under my contempt. And she's like You sure? Yes, I am sure I can walk 50 yards. Even American ones. I could do it in high heels and I'm 100% USDA approved boy counterbalanced with three pints of non-domestic draft. She wouldn't, alas, loan me her shoes. They won't fit, she declared. Like whatever, Cinderella. Actually, martinis might have been involved. I think I had to eat her car keys. Probably one of the better desserts I've had at Chilis.
It's amazing how easily the "drive everywhere" mindset can set in. When I lived in London I wouldn't drive anything less than about 5 miles because of the hassles of traffic, parking, traffic getting back home, hassles parking back at home, and the minor detail that having to drive imposed a tighter restriction on the amount of beer I could drink than I was entirely happy with. Yes, I'd drive the one mile to Homebase if I planned to buy something sufficiently big and heavy that I really couldn't get it home without the aid of an engine, although I did once borrow a flatbed trolley to haul a garden table and six chairs home, and duly returned it once I'd unloaded it (which seemed more responsible, even if more effort, than parking it with its brethren in the nearest river)
And then over here the infrastructure is so geared to the assumption that everybody drives everywhere that sometimes it can be difficult to actually walk somewhere. In the nearest small town trying to figure the best place to cross the road isn't a trivial exercise, but of course in the car you can just move from one car park the size of Bolivia to another at least a few seconds faster than you could walk the distance. Or at least that would be so if you could figure out where to cross the road.
Quote
But this is Surrey, and it's quite a spectacle. There's two strategies. One, favoured by Audi drivers, is simply to stop by the doors and wait for a space to become free. The other (BMWs, Mercedes, the godforsaken) is to orbit the car park like they're looking for a spot anywhere but they're not. They want that spot, right by the doors, and they'll orbit this car park until the sun sparks out if that is what it takes. Then they find a spot. The fun is only just starting. Because British car parks weren't built with cars the size of well-fed brontosaurus dumps in mind. Watching these idiots try to park in such spaces is the seventh funniest thing in the known universe. In. Out. In. A little to the left. No, no, to the left. It's like a Martin Amis description of sex.
My experience of Surrey was that unless you were spectacularly adept at climbing out of the sunroof most car parks were woefully undersized. It only took one car to be anything other than perfectly central within its allocated space before either the driver or the passenger was going to have to perform some gymnastics worthy of the Kama Sutra just to get out of the car. That's something I don't miss here, where parking spaces are about the size of Derbyshire and even if you're driving a super-sized SUV you can pretty much just swerve in the general direction of the space and throw the doors open before leaping out with the same joie de vivre that actually finding a space in London generates but without the near certainty of dinging the sides of the car parked so close you can barely get a cigarette paper between them both. And instead of paying through the nose to park, round here the machines still take nickels. You don't get long for a nickel but when you can park for 15 minutes for the equivalent of 3p you really don't miss London parking arrangements. It's just as well the $1 coin isn't accepted because if it were your parking ticket would expire "sometime next week, maybe Thursday"
Quote
There's thread somewhere herein called 'urethral milking' which I was horribly, horribly disappointed to learn wasn't a sex thing I could silkily insert into casual conversation. Instead it's a practical technique for men to empty the more obscure avenues and cul-de-sacs of their willy wonkerish indoor plumping into a toilet bowl rather than their underpants. Anyway, any number of prostate problems can be cured by a hour or two in a NYC diner. There's enough weak coffee refills to ensure any man can probably piss hard enough to hit Pennsylvania. I hit the Liberty Bell from 24th and 3rd the other year.
Round here the problem isn't weak coffee, it's truly dismal coffee. Coffee so bad you wish it was weak on the basis that way you wouldn't be able to taste it. It's much like the way traditional American lagers are served ice cold because it's the only way you can tell them from urine. If the urinals are plumbed straight back into the keg they at least need to wait a while to chill it and carbonate it before serving it again. I'm convinced nobody would notice, as long as it was ice cold. But the coffee, coffee so bad you'd think it was a drain cleaner or something. Maybe it was in a previous life. It seems the dreaded filter machines are to blame. At least in a place that serves espresso you can blame the numbskull who makes it for not knowing their basket from their elbow, but when it's filter coffee once it's been brewed it sits there on the hotplate, unloved and unwanted, until someone takes pity on it and takes it home. It really is like the 15-year-old St Bernard with bladder control issues in the rescue home, except it doesn't taste as good. And then among the quagmire of truly awful coffee comes the odd gem - a place that serves coffee that goes beyond barely tolerable and is actually pleasant to drink. Remarkably, coffee from Sheetz (the gas station chain) is pleasant to drink. Admittedly with 463 different varieties of creamer, sweetener, milk and coffee there's bound to be a combination in there to suit anybody however finicky they might be, but there you go. Aside from that it seems to be the occasional diner that does good coffee at least some of the time. I wonder if there's a single barista who knows what they are doing in this area, and they work one day at a time. You have a nice coffee and, lulled into a false sense of security, go back for coffee. That's when you get the burnt abomination that tastes like a camel rider's jockstrap on a hot Friday afternoon.
Quote
Kosher. Gluten Free. Paleo. I see it now. I have a pitch for Fox. When Diets Collide.
That would be quite a show. You could air the same show on Fox and MSNBC so the two sides could argue over whether Bush or Obama was to blame for it.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 January, 2016, 09:38:40 am
Considering the USAnians pride themselves on their coffee, most of what is available for public consumption is rank enow that cheapskate BRITISH horriblemarket own-brand is veritable nectar by comparison. You know that coffee made from beans that have passed through the digestive tracts of weasels? The boak advertised as "coffee" in for e.g. USAnian diners, motels, prisons etc. is made from the part of the weasel poo that isn't undigested coffee bean.
I stand by this observation.
Post by: ian on 06 January, 2016, 10:21:56 am
I don't know what they do with it. You can empty an entire industrial sized tin of Folgers into your coffeemaker and get out something that looks like it was passed by someone in the late stages of dysentery. They made the water brown. Like bacon, the coffee seems to have gone somewhere. Guantanamo? They've renditioned the flavour. Extraordinary. And then, yes, it sits on the filter machine slowing stewing until there is an actual flavour, just one you'd never want to meet.
Not content with stripping out the low, middle, and high notes – the entire fucking symphony – of flavour they then insist on serving it in buckets big enough to drown the entire bloody orchestra in. A 32 oz coffee? That's like an elephant's bladderful. And probably tastes worse. It ought to be obvious sign of the problem that you need to add artificial flavours. I remember when I first saw that – hazelnut-flavoured creamer – it's a mistake you make once. You may as well get a squirrel to jerk off into your coffee. At least that might taste of hazelnuts.
It has got a bit better in recent years, but there's still the dreaded conference and hotel coffee. Proudly Served by Starbucks. That's my heart taking the express elevator down. I need caffeine. It's important for my mental buoyancy. All I'm doing by drinking that stuff is making my kidneys cry as they desperately try to sieve out a few grains of caffeine.
Post by: T42 on 06 January, 2016, 11:05:16 am
(I've moved from anecdata, it's true that car size correlates with the need to park as close to the doors as possible)
Unless it's a handy wee Porsche. Some years ago I was standing inside the doors of Darty watching the downpour and waiting to belt to our modest jalopy when a Porsche pulled into the "Handicapped" space just outside and the driver hopped out and bounded in like a dancer.
Post by: Efrogwr on 06 January, 2016, 05:35:51 pm
Post by: contango on 06 January, 2016, 06:19:37 pm
Yes, US coffee. It's an abomination. When I took my first steamboat to the Americas I was excited to find a world where coffee didn't appear to come in jars that could readily substitute for Bisto gravy granules (or vice versa). In the US, coffee came in tins and you know you my thoughts on things in tins. Tomorrow's World promised me a future in a can.
US coffee is very much like US beer. There seems to be no middle ground, just some truly awesomeness at one end and the abomination from the pits of hell at the other. The abomination came from the pits of hell because even the devil had a little mercy on his subjects and rejected it for being just too vile.
So just like American beer means Coors Lite on one end (is that stuff really considered to be beer? It's more like fizzy urine, and a drink that doesn't have a taste anyone could find palatable and doesn't have enough alcohol in it to even get a slight buzz loses and claim to be called beer) and the proliferation of truly awesome microbreweries at the other end, so the low end of American coffee could be described as tragic, were it not an affront to the term.
Quote
I don't know what they do with it. You can empty an entire industrial sized tin of Folgers into your coffeemaker and get out something that looks like it was passed by someone in the late stages of dysentery. They made the water brown. Like bacon, the coffee seems to have gone somewhere. Guantanamo? They've renditioned the flavour. Extraordinary. And then, yes, it sits on the filter machine slowing stewing until there is an actual flavour, just one you'd never want to meet.
That reminded me of one of the whiskey bottles I saw on a recent visit to the liquor store over here. I was on the prowl for something good, and in the end selected a 10 year old bottle of Laphroaig (which, with a combination of the sale they had on and a voucher given out for no readily apparent reason cost me the eminently reasonable sum of $40). Along the way I found a bottle with an encouraging name, which was something like Old Crow. From the colour of it I had to wonder whether it was distilled crow urine or maybe just distilled aged crow. When a 1.5 litre bottle still costs under $10 it's hard to imagine it being anything other than an alcohol-fuelled abomination that makes even blue-label Thunderbird look positively delectable.
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Not content with stripping out the low, middle, and high notes – the entire fucking symphony – of flavour they then insist on serving it in buckets big enough to drown the entire bloody orchestra in. A 32 oz coffee? That's like an elephant's bladderful. And probably tastes worse. It ought to be obvious sign of the problem that you need to add artificial flavours. I remember when I first saw that – hazelnut-flavoured creamer – it's a mistake you make once. You may as well get a squirrel to jerk off into your coffee. At least that might taste of hazelnuts.
Ah yes, creamers. The abominations added to abominations in the vain hope that the result will taste less awful than either of the two individual abominations. It's like the idea that something really really dismal mixed with something else really really dismal might result in something only marginally dismal. I wonder why people bother but then see the line snaking out of the door at McDonalds and figure people would rather know they'll get something disappointing than take the chance they'll get something disappointing. I say "disappointing" using typical British reserve, the last time I ate anything from Burger King in this country (September 2013) it took all my resolve not to open the door of the car and throw the whole lot out onto the interstate, it was that bad. Needless to say I haven't darkened their door since. I can just about believe there was something that may once have been part of a cow buried under the endless layers of white goo, red goo, yellow goo and whatever else they put in it.
The creamers really are like spraying Lynx deodorants over a tramp who hasn't washed in a week. Neither smells great but maybe the smell of one will mask the smell of the other, at least a little. It starts to smell like a blend of two unpleasant aromas rather than one individual stench that strips the last shreds of hope from the sinuses.
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It has got a bit better in recent years, but there's still the dreaded conference and hotel coffee. Proudly Served by Starbucks. That's my heart taking the express elevator down. I need caffeine. It's important for my mental buoyancy. All I'm doing by drinking that stuff is making my kidneys cry as they desperately try to sieve out a few grains of caffeine.
It's easy to see why Starbucks are proud to serve what they do. I'm currently paying a little under $4 for a gallon of milk, which means about 50c/pint. Wouldn't you be proud to report to your financial overlords that you'd found yet another bunch of suckers willing to pay $5 for 50c worth of milk and a splash of cheap and nasty coffee? And not only do people pay through the nose for their cup of warm brown disappointment but they come back for more. It's back to the McDonalds phenomenon, even when people know it's overpriced crap they still stand in line to buy it.
Back in England when I worked someone else's clock I used to take my own coffee to the office. Now if I'm visiting a site and know I'll want caffeine (which is highly likely) I stop at the Sheetz on the way and get some. I know their stuff is pleasant to drink even if many people do desecrate their coffee with a range of improbably flavoured creamers. It's entirely self-serve which means I can go straight to the Sumatran dispenser, add some milk and be done with it. Our local Sheetz opened back in about September and were giving coffee for free for the first three months they were open. I honestly have no idea how many free coffees I drank from that place, other than to note that some days I got one on the way out and another on the way back. The funny thing was that when they started charging they beeped my MySheetz loyalty card and I found that the free coffees they had registered to my card qualified me for a free coffee. Which was a good result. Taking free stuff qualifies me to get some more free stuff. Only in America.
Post by: rafletcher on 06 January, 2016, 07:19:09 pm
Post by: Feanor on 06 January, 2016, 11:03:12 pm
The consensus was that it relates to the generation of Italian immigrants.
In the US, the coffee culture came from early Italian immigrants who were pre-espresso, and so non pressurised filter cofee became the norm.
Pressurised brewing came later, and places with newer immigrant populations got the newer superior tech.
Pressurised brewing can extract more of the flavour components than dribbling filter methods, it seems.
Post by: contango on 06 January, 2016, 11:17:48 pm
When I visited Manhattan around 30 years ago, my first visit to the US, I was appalled to discover the coffee was crap. My host explained "we won't pay more than 5c a cup and expect free refills. You get what you (don't) pay for"
... and now Starbucks charge anything up to $5 for a cup with no free refills and it's still crap.
Post by: contango on 06 January, 2016, 11:21:28 pm
I was listening to a discussion between Spanish, Italian, and Ozzies recently on this topic.
The consensus was that it relates to the generation of Italian immigrants.
In the US, the coffee culture came from early Italian immigrants who were pre-espresso, and so non pressurised filter cofee became the norm.
Pressurised brewing came later, and places with newer immigrant populations got the newer superior tech.
Pressurised brewing can extract more of the flavour components than dribbling filter methods, it seems.
I think it's more a case of "pay peanuts, get monkeys".
I've been to a few places in the UK that had a nice SHINY espresso machine but still managed to produce a coffee so bad it spoiled the entire evening. It's a shame when you've had a really nice meal and the taste left in your mouth as you leave is from a coffee so bad you wonder if they really did just scrape up some dog shit off the street outside and add lots of hot water. As a rule unless I know somewhere serves good coffee I won't have a coffee after a meal simply because I don't want any more nice meals ruined with crappy coffee.
Sheetz coffee is drip filter and tastes pretty good. A barista who knows what they are doing can make a really good coffee with an espresso machine. Someone who thinks the purpose of the tamper is just to make the coffee grounds nice and level in the basket is unlikely to produce a coffee worth drinking. Sadly they all charge the same price, which is pretty lame when you pay full whack for a coffee and get what tastes like slurry.
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2016, 09:58:01 am
Post by: geraldc on 07 January, 2016, 11:25:18 am
I find it hard to discuss coffee with people unless they rank what sort of coffee they like rankings in order of preference when well made:
Turkish coffee (am lazy and will only get in restaurants, basically I like cardamom and sugar)
Filter coffee black (including pour over)
Espresso in milk based drink
Instant
Espresso black
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 January, 2016, 11:53:40 am
America is taken by the Keurig K Cup system, basically one cup disposable filters, to prevent stewed pot coffee. So they are getting more fussy.
Those are even showing up in some of the pikey lodging houses I tend to use Over There. And how do you use one to get hot water for Proper Tea because your kettle died on its arse, eh? EH?
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 07 January, 2016, 12:40:17 pm
America is taken by the Keurig K Cup system, basically one cup disposable filters, to prevent stewed pot coffee. So they are getting more fussy.
I find it hard to discuss coffee with people unless they rank what sort of coffee they like rankings in order of preference when well made:
Turkish coffee (am lazy and will only get in restaurants, basically I like cardamom and sugar)
Filter coffee black (including pour over)
Espresso in milk based drink
Instant
Espresso black
1) coffee cake
2) coffee walnut whip
3) coffee creams
4) that's all.
Post by: Dibdib on 07 January, 2016, 12:57:38 pm
0) coffee-based cakes and confectionery
1) flat white/latte (one a day, tops, usually one a week)
2) espresso (only after a restaurant dinner)
3) filter/pourover/aeropress (black, no sugar, if the coffee's good)
4) tea (milk and one, free at work)
5) instant (if I just need an early morning cup of hot brown caffeine)
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2016, 01:02:21 pm
I was happy when Starbucks started doing filter coffee, until I discovered they'd replicated the piss weak US coffee experience perfectly.
Post by: Dibdib on 07 January, 2016, 01:21:02 pm
Post by: mike on 07 January, 2016, 02:06:16 pm
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
Post by: geraldc on 07 January, 2016, 02:25:23 pm
Post by: menthel on 07 January, 2016, 02:49:59 pm
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
We dumped out notspresso machine for a proper pricey bean to cup (Jura) and we are all very happy. With decent coffee it is just perfect and does the whole milky drink range too. I prefer a double ristretto with 2 seconds of foam on top. Kind of a modified macciato. Mmm.
At work its aeropress or tea.
I now hate nespresso, the coffee is just dire.
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2016, 03:01:59 pm
I hate americanos with a passion. Nasty, nasty stuff. When I ask for coffee, I want coffee, not a diluted espresso shot.
One of the few benefits of posh restaurants is that if you insist on a strong filter coffee, they can't flog you off with we only have an espresso machine. I'll accept a cafetiere coffee as a substitute, or any kind of posh pour-over. No more americanos.
Post by: geraldc on 07 January, 2016, 03:24:59 pm
Nespresso lost its appeal when Nestle brought out commercial Nespresso that were a different shape that meant people couldn't half inch capsules from their place of work.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 January, 2016, 04:49:35 pm
Nespresso lost its appeal when Nestle brought out commercial Nespresso that were a different shape that meant people couldn't half inch capsules from their place of work.
The rotters! Have they never read "Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies"?
I have a small espresso machine somewhere. That Miss von Brandenburg didn't take it with her along with the ironing board shows how much use it got. Also I've lost the instructions.
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2016, 10:55:05 pm
I have a week of Proudly Brewed by Starbucks conference coffee coming up. I've been the hotel before, you know what the alternative is. Starbucks itself. I think the organiser just go there and buy a big americano (I'm not fucking saying venti or grande either) and the dilute it to homeopathic proportions to serve to 700 people.
Post by: geraldc on 07 January, 2016, 11:05:19 pm
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2016, 11:16:22 pm
*with the exception of the one in Melville, Long Island, which makes me feel like I starring in unshown episode of Space 1999. I once detailed this in a long explanation to younger female colleague (yes, they're safe, I've been married long enough to find other women a foreign country with unfamiliar customs) and about two hours and four drinks later she's (like) what's Space 1999.
Another two hours and four drinks later she probably regretted asking.
Post by: contango on 08 January, 2016, 05:15:24 am
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
That reminds me of the father of a many-years-ago former girlfriend, who was utterly taken with Teachers whisky. So to gain a few brownie points I used to get him a bottle for birthdays and Christmas. He was always particularly struck by the fact it was a litre bottle rather than the regular 700ml bottles.
In turn it created a potentially awkward situation because he'd inevitably offer to open the bottle and share it with me. I love whisky, although in my book Teachers is best suited for putting into cheap coffee. Thankfully I usually had to drive so always had a good excuse not to share the wretched stuff.
It's always sad when someone has a fancy machine and uses it to produce utter crap. It's also a little awkward when someone knows I just love coffee and offers something so far removed from anything I'd consider to be coffee that it's a balancing act between trying hard not to grimace when drinking it or coming up with an excuse to not drink it. Thankfully most such encounters occur in the evening, which provides for a handy "I'd love to but coffee this late will keep me awake".
Post by: menthel on 08 January, 2016, 10:13:24 am
Clooney was brought in to sell Nespresso to the US and UK. Nespresso managed to conquer most of Europe by itself. I haven't been to a hotel in Europe for a couple of years that didn't have a Nespresso in the room. Nespresso is consistently shite and bad for the environment.
FTFY
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 January, 2016, 10:24:13 am
*with the exception of the one in Melville, Long Island, which makes me feel like I starring in unshorn episode of Space 1999. I once detailed this in a long explanation to younger female colleague (yes, they're safe, I've been married long enough to find other women a foreign country with unfamiliar customs) and about two hours and four drinks later she's (like) what's Space 1999.
Another two hours and four drinks later she probably regretted asking.
Reminds me of the time my chum Mr Lem found himself explaining who Devo were to a twenty-something PSO. It was later observed that it was a good job my grate frend Mr Krause was not around that year due to his marked resemblance to Frank Zappa.
Post by: CAMRAMan on 08 January, 2016, 05:33:48 pm
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.On 25/12, at my sister's house, I had to feign delight at being served such slurry. "We got them especially for you, as we know you like good coffee." She'd made an effort, I spose, so it would've been churlish to do anything other than pretend to like it. Except, I'll get the same thing next time I visit.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
The thing is, she has my good coffee when she visits me and sees how much time and effort goes into each cup that she declares is 'de-lish' and keenly accepts another cup. Why then, does she think that a nasty little sachet thingy is going to produce a beverage of equal quality? And it's Nestlé. And she reads the Daily Heil.
Post by: Kim on 08 January, 2016, 05:36:42 pm
The thing is, she has my good coffee when she visits me and sees how much time and effort goes into each cup that she declares is 'de-lish' and keenly accepts another cup. Why then, does she think that a nasty little sachet thingy is going to produce a beverage of equal quality? And it's Nestlé. And she reads the Daily Heil.
This may be your answer. Just need a "sachet coffee causes cancer" story. There should be one along shortly.
Post by: CAMRAMan on 08 January, 2016, 05:45:06 pm
Post by: contango on 09 January, 2016, 04:04:09 am
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.On 25/12, at my sister's house, I had to feign delight at being served such slurry. "We got them especially for you, as we know you like good coffee." She'd made an effort, I spose, so it would've been churlish to do anything other than pretend to like it. Except, I'll get the same thing next time I visit.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
The thing is, she has my good coffee when she visits me and sees how much time and effort goes into each cup that she declares is 'de-lish' and keenly accepts another cup. Why then, does she think that a nasty little sachet thingy is going to produce a beverage of equal quality? And it's Nestlé. And she reads the Daily Heil.
Why does she believe? Because the marketing men told her, so it must be so. If you choose to spend half an hour grinding beans by hand to the perfect coarseness, tamping a precisely measured quantity into a basket by hand and to a specific pressure, then waiting for the water to heat to the required temperature before being forced through the grounds at just the right pressure, and all the while you could have just dropped a pod in a machine and pressed the button, that's your issue rather than hers.
The alternative is that "good coffee" means different things to different people. Just look at the people standing in line at Charbucks to get their daily fix of warm brown disappointment.
Post by: Tigerrr on 09 January, 2016, 07:34:13 am
It
Post by: L CC on 09 January, 2016, 08:25:42 am
Post by: Dibdib on 09 January, 2016, 08:35:05 am
Post by: jsabine on 09 January, 2016, 09:23:59 am
Besides, this *is* a rant thread.
Post by: Dibdib on 09 January, 2016, 09:43:29 am
It's also possible to find some variations on a coffee theme to be either particularly nice or particularly minging without it turning you into a snob.
Besides, this *is* a rant thread.
Oh god, yes. People who think espresso is The One True Coffee any anything less is watery mud. *eye roll*
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 January, 2016, 10:07:54 am
Post by: Hot Flatus on 09 January, 2016, 10:16:34 am
It's also possible to find some variations on a coffee theme to be either particularly nice or particularly minging without it turning you into a snob.
Besides, this *is* a rant thread.
Oh god, yes. People who think espresso is The One True Coffee any anything less is watery mud. *eye roll*
I hate to tell you this, but you've been mixing with pretty amateur coffee snobs if they are telling you this.
If they've not even muttered the words 'refractometer', 'hario', 'v60', 'sowden', 'bonavita immersion' or 'cold brew' then you should fuck them right out of the door and get yourself a proper snob.
Post by: Dibdib on 09 January, 2016, 10:19:28 am
Oh dear, no. I don't mix with those amateurs... But there's a fuckload of them about.Oh god, yes. People who think espresso is The One True Coffee any anything less is watery mud. *eye roll*I hate to tell you this, but you've been mixing with pretty amateur coffee snobs if they are telling you this.
Post by: jsabine on 09 January, 2016, 10:49:51 am
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
I didn't realise you needed to let a Nespresso warm up.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2016, 01:15:05 pm
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
MILKY!!1! You might as well drink horriblemarket own-brand instant if you're going to put that muck in it!
<g,d&r>
Post by: hellymedic on 09 January, 2016, 01:28:51 pm
I'm glad I can't drink coffee. I might end up as up my own arse as much as all you coffee snobs.
I can drink coffee but choose Sainsbury's Gold Roast Instant as my Brown Liquid of choice when at home.
I leave coffee/wine/food snobbery to others and enjoy the rest of my life.
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 January, 2016, 02:05:08 pm
Oh, but this is organic goats milk from a flock reared on virgin grass. And the coffee goes into the milk, not vice-versa, from a height of 93mm.Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
MILKY!!1! You might as well drink horriblemarket own-brand instant if you're going to put that muck in it!
<g,d&r>
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2016, 02:11:40 pm
Oh, but this is organic goats milk from a flock reared on virgin grass. And the coffee goes into the milk, not vice-versa, from a height of 93mm.Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
MILKY!!1! You might as well drink horriblemarket own-brand instant if you're going to put that muck in it!
<g,d&r>
This is not just a shovel, this is a precision digging implement milled from a solid ingot of stainless steel by German craftsmen who have served a five year apprenticeship before they're even allowed to switch the workshop lights on without supervision ;D
Post by: CAMRAMan on 09 January, 2016, 02:42:36 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2016, 02:55:18 pm
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Only inferior non-Jerry-built ha ha shovels :P
Post by: jsabine on 09 January, 2016, 03:19:51 pm
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Only inferior non-Jerry-built ha ha shovels :P
I *really* didn't realise that there was such a thing as a ha-ha shovel
Post by: T42 on 09 January, 2016, 04:24:43 pm
http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/pattersons-spade-mill
Post by: Jurek on 09 January, 2016, 04:42:51 pm
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Only inferior non-Jerry-built ha ha shovels :P
I *really* didn't realise that there was such a thing as a ha-ha shovel
Had you not considered what was used to dig the ha-ha at Ha-Ha Road? :P
Post by: contango on 10 January, 2016, 03:40:28 am
I'm glad I can't drink coffee. I might end up as up my own arse as much as all you coffee snobs.
Getting up your own arse can be very lucrative. You can mine what you find and sell it to Charbucks.
Post by: contango on 10 January, 2016, 03:44:24 am
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
I didn't realise you needed to let a Nespresso warm up.
Some coffee makers (I never owned a Nespresso because, well...) will remain warm indefinitely but I'd be surprised if very many of them didn't have an energy saving mode that shut down the heater to, well, save energy. Depending on just how the machine heats the water it could take a reasonable amount of energy to keep the heating block warm, which is a bit of a waste if you've drunk the one coffee you plan on having that morning and won't be back from work for another 10 hours.
My (sadly now defunct) bean-to-cup machine could warm up, and make me a fresh cup of coffee faster than I could boil the kettle and make a cup of instant. I miss my old Gaggia.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 January, 2016, 07:59:55 am
Bah!
Post by: pcolbeck on 10 January, 2016, 08:09:04 am
Sine the hot plate stews the coffee fairly quickly it's not a bad thing. What you want is a thermos jug instead, keeps the coffee hot without stewing it.
Post by: CAMRAMan on 10 January, 2016, 04:32:49 pm
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2016, 04:53:55 pm
Post by: contango on 11 January, 2016, 04:15:54 am
My old one would stay on all day if left unattended but the new one contends that if the hotplate stays on for more than about two hours the coffee will taste like diesel and therefore to discourage the hapless user from partaking of this brew it will switch off. The only way to override this is to frob the on/off switch before it times out. I do not mind if ittastes like diesela bit stewed and would very much like the stupid machine to take note of my preferences.
Bah!
EU rules say all new coffee machines must have auto switch off hot plates.
Sine the hot plate stews the coffee fairly quickly it's not a bad thing. What you want is a thermos jug instead, keeps the coffee hot without stewing it.
So the solution is probably a mains timer that switches the thing off at 7:59, 9:59, 11:59 etc and back on again at 8:00, 10:00, 12:00 etc. It's unlikely to go cold in the 60 seconds the heater is switched off and so will slowly burn until it tastes like diesel. Alternatively you could just go to Charbucks and buy some beans that got nuked in a roaster somewhere.
Post by: ElyDave on 11 January, 2016, 06:56:15 am
Thrmos mug, can keep it warm for hours.
Coffee is from a local supplier, roasted less than two miles from home
Post by: Tigerrr on 11 January, 2016, 07:01:41 am
Post by: ElyDave on 11 January, 2016, 07:10:00 am
We discussed the "machines" as well, me having very limited kitchen space that would be very difficult. She was emphatic, all Italians use the humble mokka pot in the kitchen. Good enough for me.
Post by: contango on 12 January, 2016, 03:54:32 am
I have a suspicion that elevation of the menial job of making coffee to barista is a product of the surplus of so called graduates with no actual skills or career prospects. This serving working in a caff and serving hot beverages has been made into a career option. Similar has happened with burger flipping and sandwich making.
... and if you're trying to chat someone up you only have to tweak the pronunciation from "barista" slightly in the hope they will hear "barrister".
It reminds me of the old saying that the science graduate asks "why does it work?", the mechanical engineering graduate asks "how does it work?", the financial engineering graduate asks "how much will it cost?" and the liberal arts graduate asks "do you want fries with it?"
Post by: madcow on 12 January, 2016, 09:23:46 am
Exactly. It's possible to like both. I hang around with enough full-on coffee geeks (one of my good friends is a full time barista at an indie coffee place and is about as nerdy about it as some people here are about [obscure bike topic]) but if someone makes me a cup of instant, that's fine too.
Ditto-daughter's boyfriend is Drinks Manager for a company which owns a humungous number of restaurants .(UK based and pay U.K taxes before you start. )
He can tell you the exact temperature that each drink needs to be served at , the time it takes for various grades of coffee to reach perfection in a caffetiere, ad infinitum.
But the best figure he comes out with is how much profit they can extract from selling one cup of coffee to the coffee nerds .
Multiply that by literally millions of cups per year and you see why it is to the benefit of the coffee industry to keep bigging up the status of the brown liquid.
In fact, I think there is definitely a "coffee cult " which is expressed in people buying coffee e.g at the station, when they have just left home ,where they could have made a perfectly good cup of coffee for pennies but choose to spend a couple of quid on a cardboard cup full. Madness , they call it madness.
Post by: ian on 12 January, 2016, 09:41:48 am
Post by: fuzzy on 12 January, 2016, 10:08:58 am
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
Alternatively, set a routine where getting the brew going is an early task then pour into an insulated cup and take it with you. Your coffee, the way you like it at far less expense to yourself. By the end of the year you have probably saved enough money for N+1.
Post by: Tigerrr on 12 January, 2016, 07:40:36 pm
Post by: CAMRAMan on 13 January, 2016, 02:30:52 pm
Post by: L CC on 13 January, 2016, 02:37:58 pm
(click to show/hide)
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2016, 03:02:12 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2016, 03:06:36 pm
Post by: Pingu on 13 January, 2016, 03:39:44 pm
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag...
Only 10-12 cups? Really?
Post by: Kim on 13 January, 2016, 03:41:42 pm
Ok, four minutes later and I've found the "beyond lesbian biscuits": http://www.thisisbiscuit.co.uk/contact-us/
I could have told you about that. It's surprisingly low in carbs.
Post by: barakta on 13 January, 2016, 04:59:31 pm
Ok, four minutes later and I've found the "beyond lesbian biscuits": http://www.thisisbiscuit.co.uk/contact-us/
I know the editors of this esteemed publication...
Bisexual tea is whatever you want it to be, we don't force people into any definition. If you have the potential to like tea in any way shape or form you can identify as bisexual ;)
Post by: CAMRAMan on 13 January, 2016, 06:57:18 pm
I like a good, stiff one...My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag...
Only 10-12 cups? Really?
Post by: ian on 13 January, 2016, 08:29:57 pm
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
Alternatively, set a routine where getting the brew going is an early task then pour into an insulated cup and take it with you. Your coffee, the way you like it at far less expense to yourself. By the end of the year you have probably saved enough money for N+1.
I'd have to be a lot more organised than I am. I'm not allowed to touch anything that involves electricity before 9am. I have to wander around in padded mittens to stop me breaking things (the mug avalanche of 2007 won't be forgotten, at least by my wife it won't, but seriously there's two of us, why do have an entire cupboard full of precariously tessellated mugs?) My travails in the an early morning kitchen are like an Indiana Jones adventure, if Indiana Jones were a lot more clumsy. Plus I'd need to remember to set up coffeebot and ensure she was correctly watered before I go to bed. It wouldn't be the first time I've forgotten to fill the bean hopper or to add water (occasionally both). Truth be told, I have more money than I have time, so lazy options appeal.
It scares me in NYC though because you can't just order coffee. You have to order a convoluted drink perfectly, machine gunning the barista with syllables as you order your nofatlattefrappichinomochabarranowithhalfnhalfandhazlenutsyrupandsplendalukewarmventatogo. Frankly if you can rattle that off at 7am you don't need caffeine.
Post by: contango on 14 January, 2016, 03:53:51 am
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
What I used to do was prime the coffee machine before going to bed, then when I got up I turned it on and got in the shower. By the time I was out of the shower I had a cup of coffee waiting for me. Had time been really critical I could have had the machine make my coffee into a flask rather than a cup.
Post by: contango on 14 January, 2016, 03:55:37 am
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
Alternatively, set a routine where getting the brew going is an early task then pour into an insulated cup and take it with you. Your coffee, the way you like it at far less expense to yourself. By the end of the year you have probably saved enough money for N+1.
I'd have to be a lot more organised than I am. I'm not allowed to touch anything that involves electricity before 9am. I have to wander around in padded mittens to stop me breaking things (the mug avalanche of 2007 won't be forgotten, at least by my wife it won't, but seriously there's two of us, why do have an entire cupboard full of precariously tessellated mugs?) My travails in the an early morning kitchen are like an Indiana Jones adventure, if Indiana Jones were a lot more clumsy. Plus I'd need to remember to set up coffeebot and ensure she was correctly watered before I go to bed. It wouldn't be the first time I've forgotten to fill the bean hopper or to add water (occasionally both). Truth be told, I have more money than I have time, so lazy options appeal.
It scares me in NYC though because you can't just order coffee. You have to order a convoluted drink perfectly, machine gunning the barista with syllables as you order your nofatlattefrappichinomochabarranowithhalfnhalfandhazlenutsyrupandsplendalukewarmventatogo. Frankly if you can rattle that off at 7am you don't need caffeine.
But it's more fun to go in on a day that you don't need to be anywhere in a hurry, look a bit bewildered, and ask for a cup of coffee. Then watch as peoples' heads start exploding. Chances are the first one will be the barista struggling to comprehend how anyone could ask for "coffee" when there are no fewer than 4,861 different variations on "a cup of coffee". Then the people behind you should start popping as you take more than 41 nanoseconds to rattle off your order and get out of the way.
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2016, 10:15:25 am
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 January, 2016, 11:59:50 am
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 January, 2016, 12:24:27 pm
I think the best one was: do you have things not on the menu? Now that's an opening gambit. The waitress nicely touchéd with a yes and left a nice big stretchy, lazy yawn of silence for the fiend to fall into. We got stuff and we ain't telling you.That's wonderful. ;D
Of course having stuff that's not on the menu is probably enshrined in the Bill of Rights or the 104th Amendment, whereas back in the Union of Godless Communist Soviets, they had a menu but only stuff that was not on it. :D
Post by: jsabine on 14 January, 2016, 08:47:51 pm
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
I read it as c35p for beans, plus c15p for overheads to give a total of c50p per cup - at which point 4x50p comes to c£2, tallying with your experience of station pricing.
(Certainly in That London I expect a double espresso to be a bit under a couple of quid and baulk at anything significantly higher, but milk-based drinks are normally well north of the £2 mark.)
Post by: CAMRAMan on 14 January, 2016, 10:23:44 pm
Post by: contango on 15 January, 2016, 03:35:24 am
I'm sure I read an article the other day that said Starbucks had a billion or two drinks combinations. Waiting in the queue at the branch north of Penn Sq and I swear I heard them all. I miss American food ordering. I'd like a salad, but without the lettuce, tomato, and cucumber, and could I have the dressing on the side, but only a half portion, and can I get an egg with that, a dinosaur egg. I think the best one was: do you have things not on the menu? Now that's an opening gambit. The waitress nicely touchéd with a yes and left a nice big stretchy, lazy yawn of silence for the fiend to fall into. We got stuff and we ain't telling you. I like, when they reel off the thousand-and-one salad dressing options, or the beer list, to see how many times I can make them repeat it before they get murder eyes. It's all double-fun in NJ, because every syllable seems to be trying to pull itself out of a mud pit. Muggablubbgahbabubb they advise.
Ah yes, the endless variations on the theme. It's handy, especially if you want to keep the waitress on her toes. My local diner has a couple of really good waitresses who not only know what I like to eat but also like the rather unusual variations that I like too.
It makes such a nice change from a few places I visited in the UK where they seemed to consider the request to have an extra hash brown instead of a grilled tomato to be on a par with asking for my food to be served by 100 naked virgins riding unicorns. Sometimes this side of the water it seems unusual not to ask for a slight tweak to the standard menu items.
Post by: contango on 15 January, 2016, 03:37:39 am
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
Only if the fresh espresso is properly made. I'd drink cold day-old coffee that I made myself in preference to the garbage often insultingly served as "coffee" in a heartbeat. Sometimes I wonder if restaurants are trying to defile the concept of "coffee" to the greatest extent imaginable. Just like stargazy pie from Cornwall seems to be little more than a jape to see just how far tourists will go in their quest to "eat local dishes", so "coffee" seems to be an increasingly foul concoction designed to encourage people to run screaming into the streets, never to return.
Post by: Pingu on 15 January, 2016, 10:16:45 am
Post by: nicknack on 15 January, 2016, 10:20:19 am
stargazy pie from CornwallYum!
Or is that just me?
Post by: ian on 01 February, 2016, 10:28:02 am
So, yeah, coffee beans. I'm ain't one of them foo-foo types hereabout, forever over-excitedly spurting their crema over anyone within espresso range. I figure they can't be that bad, at worst the generic supermarket beans. I only ask that it be brown, strong, and caffeinated.
I figure wrong. This is worse than US conference coffee. It tastes and smells of nothing. Where did it go. These are beans of despair.
Post by: Efrogwr on 01 February, 2016, 12:23:21 pm
Post by: contango on 03 February, 2016, 04:08:27 am
Found some coffee beans in one of those hampers that people give you at Christmas. Hampers like that are, as far as I know, merely a mechanism to get rid of stuff that no one would buy otherwise, and charge a massive markup because they've put them in a box that you'll feel obliged to keep around the house for the next ten years because your wife thinks 'it might be useful.' Oh, pickled walnuts, how did you know, let me dash into the kitchen right now and serve them up! Usually I can salvage a bottle of wine from the desultory rewards and fortunately my appreciation of fine wine is calibrated by the fact I usually drink it out of a wine box. Sometimes I use a glass. I'm the person who gets excited in French supermarkets because I can buy wine in a carton.
So, yeah, coffee beans. I'm ain't one of them foo-foo types hereabout, forever over-excitedly spurting their crema over anyone within espresso range. I figure they can't be that bad, at worst the generic supermarket beans. I only ask that it be brown, strong, and caffeinated.
I figure wrong. This is worse than US conference coffee. It tastes and smells of nothing. Where did it go. These are beans of despair.
Sir, I respectfully refer you to the second sentence of your own post. Hampers are a mechanism to get rid of stuff that no-one would buy otherwise. Sadly "stuff" includes the truly dismal coffee beans that nobody who knows anything about coffee would ever buy, but someone who knows someone who likes coffee might regard as a suitable gift. After all, it's in a hamper so it must be good, right?
Yeah, right.
Post by: ian on 03 February, 2016, 10:17:25 am
Post by: T42 on 03 February, 2016, 10:26:04 am
Post by: fuzzy on 03 February, 2016, 01:57:44 pm
Post by: spesh on 03 February, 2016, 02:06:43 pm
The Guatemalans DO know what they are doing. That is why they export the shit as opposed to drinking it themselves
See also most Australian and Leftpondian brands of lager... ;)
Post by: ian on 03 February, 2016, 02:52:01 pm
Post by: contango on 03 February, 2016, 07:20:04 pm
I know, I know. It was in a bag and said 'Guatemalan something or other' on the label. I figured the Guatemalans knew what they were doing. Possibly they did. I tried experimentally making a cup with about about eight scoops of beans in the grinder, and nothing. It looked dark and slightly dangerous, but tasted like hot water. In the bin it went.
The Guatemalans know what they are doing where coffee is concerned. At least some of their coffee is pretty good.
Sadly the marketing men also know what they are doing and know that if they put some truly tragic excuse for coffee in a bag, mark it "Guatemalan" and then - wait for it - place it in a hamper then some schmuck will be along shortly to pay through the nose for it.
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 March, 2016, 11:08:40 am
I can't be arsed to count, but of the 94 naturally occuring elements in the Periodic Table are there not some that are not found on their own, are not "bioavailable", are toxic, are radioactive or are inert?
…or am I missing something? ;)
Post by: ian on 02 March, 2016, 11:14:23 am
Doesn't make any other claims on the label though. Seems to be from Lidl. I've never been to a Lidl or the Himalayas.
Post by: hatler on 02 March, 2016, 11:31:32 am
Post by: Oaky on 02 March, 2016, 11:42:59 am
Quote
Himalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
Much better than the poisonous stuffs we have in our kitchen:
Quote
The table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
Wow. It must be true: have you *seen* the letters after the author's name?
Quote
by Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
1. For values of "fantastic" close to "a huge steaming pile of pseudo-scientific claptrap"
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 March, 2016, 12:14:46 pm
Weirdly, I have a big grinder full of Himalayan rock salt. I saw weird because I have no idea where it came from. OK, the Himalayas, obvs.It was left behind by a visiting Sherpa.
Doesn't make any other claims on the label though. Seems to be from Lidl. I've never been to a Lidl or the Himalayas.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 March, 2016, 12:23:38 pm
Weirdly, I have a big grinder full of Himalayan rock salt. I saw weird because I have no idea where it came from. OK, the Himalayas, obvs.
Doesn't make any other claims on the label though. Seems to be from Lidl. I've never been to a Lidl or the Himalayas.
Check the shed to see whether a yeti has taken up residence.
Post by: ian on 02 March, 2016, 12:31:00 pm
I do have a vertiginous garden out the back of The Asbestos Palace, where it rises to the dramatic eyrie of the summer house (not a shed at all, it has a veranda). Occasionally the pampas grass in front rustles ominously.
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 March, 2016, 12:32:02 pm
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
Much better than the poisonous stuffs we have in our kitchen:QuoteThe table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
Wow. It must be true: have you *seen* the letters after the author's name?Quoteby Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
1. For values of "fantastic" close to "a huge steaming pile of pseudo-scientific claptrap"
We just don't realise what a Superfood it is! According to Hemsley and Hemsley* because it is dried naturally by the sun and the wind, the enzymes in it are preserved!!!!!!!!
I'm going to give up so-called food, and live on salt.
*Hemsley and Hemsley, discuss.
There, I've lit the blue touchpaper, and will now retire to a safe distance to enjoy the fireworks.
Post by: Pingu on 02 March, 2016, 01:04:40 pm
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy...
And that's where I stop reading this sort of stuff.
Post by: contango on 02 March, 2016, 04:31:11 pm
Have you discovered Himalayan Rock Salt yet? It's magic! It contains 84 essential minerals and elements that are essential to health!
I can't be arsed to count, but of the 94 naturally occuring elements in the Periodic Table are there not some that are not found on their own, are not "bioavailable", are toxic, are radioactive or are inert?
…or am I missing something? ;)
Minerals and elements, not just elements. So perhaps given we can safely assume it contains salt, it also contains sodium and chlorine. So if you want to count in the style of a marketing person you can count "sodium chloride, sodium, chlorine, potassium chloride, potassium" and get "five minerals and elements" out of just sodium and potassium chloride.
Post by: contango on 02 March, 2016, 04:34:49 pm
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
Much better than the poisonous stuffs we have in our kitchen:QuoteThe table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
Wow, processing sodium chloride turns it into sodium chloride. Who would have thought that? In related news, peanut butter may contain peanuts and Toyota salesmen don't recommend Honda vehicles.
I wonder if putting the Himalayan salt into a grinder breaks up the cellular structure and releases all that vibrational energy. It could make a chicken vindaloo even more explosive if that's the case.
Quote
Wow. It must be true: have you *seen* the letters after the author's name?Quoteby Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
1. For values of "fantastic" close to "a huge steaming pile of pseudo-scientific claptrap"
Never seen so many letters so the guy must know what he's talking about. Maybe.
Post by: hellymedic on 02 March, 2016, 05:44:00 pm
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 March, 2016, 06:30:20 pm
I do have a vertiginous garden out the back of The Asbestos Palace, where it rises to the dramatic eyrie of the summer house (not a shed at all, it has a veranda). Occasionally the pampas grass in front rustles ominously.
Yeti for sure. Not sure whether the council's Pest Control bods do yetis.
Post by: Oaky on 02 March, 2016, 06:48:12 pm
Quote
This form of salt has also been maturing over the past 250 million years under intense tectonic pressure
whereas:-
Quote
Common salt is dried at more than 1,200° Fahrenheit, a process which zaps many of the natural chemical structures.
That's got to be a real downer when it comes to vibrational wossnames. 1200F sounds a lot harsher than 250 million years under intense tectonic pressure.
Post by: contango on 03 March, 2016, 04:13:19 am
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
True, I must admit I saw those words and my brain translated it into "molecular structure", more or less.
Either way it's a load of drivel. But I do rather like the pink Himalayan salt. A friend of mine sells his own derivative product where he mixes it with garlic, onion and Carolina Reaper powder. It's pretty fiery.
Post by: essexian on 03 March, 2016, 08:13:17 am
Virgin Trains have stopped doing the Veggie Breakfast on the 8.43am out of Stafford in First Class.
Its just not good enough. I'll be writing to Richard once I can find the green ink!
First World Problem....First World Problem.....First World Problem.....
Post by: Efrogwr on 03 March, 2016, 10:19:44 am
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
True, I must admit I saw those words and my brain translated it into "molecular structure", more or less.
Either way it's a load of drivel. But I do rather like the pink Himalayan salt. A friend of mine sells his own derivative product where he mixes it with garlic, onion and Carolina Reaper powder. It's pretty fiery.
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's the impurities that do it!
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2016, 06:10:09 pm
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
True, I must admit I saw those words and my brain translated it into "molecular structure", more or less.
Either way it's a load of drivel. But I do rather like the pink Himalayan salt. A friend of mine sells his own derivative product where he mixes it with garlic, onion and Carolina Reaper powder. It's pretty fiery.
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's the impurities that do it!
Suspect that's true if you are tasting salt straight from its container.
Suspect when pure NaCl is added to Real FoodTM, the minerals therein will combine with it to have a richer taste.
Would need a blind tasting of (eg) vegetable soup seasoned with sea salt v Saxa to see if there is any difference in practice, which I doubt.
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 March, 2016, 09:04:29 am
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's the impurities that do it!
Suspect that's true if you are tasting salt straight from its container.
Suspect when pure NaCl is added to Real FoodTM, the minerals therein will combine with it to have a richer taste.
Would need a blind tasting of (eg) vegetable soup seasoned with sea salt v Saxa to see if there is any difference in practice, which I doubt.
Presumably Saxa et al use salt that, once upon a time, was in the sea.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 March, 2016, 09:26:26 am
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's theimpurities that dofish poo that does it!
FTFY :demon:
Post by: T42 on 04 March, 2016, 09:49:53 am
Post by: spesh on 04 March, 2016, 05:55:43 pm
Quote from: some charlatan
Himalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy.
So you're supposed to go "Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnomnomnom mani padme hum..." as you grind it then? ???
Yeah, that's my coat... the saffron-coloured one with the yak hair stuffing. ;D
Post by: Efrogwr on 04 March, 2016, 08:44:06 pm
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's theimpurities that dofish poo that does it!
FTFY :demon:
It's even worse than that!
Do you know why W C Fields never drank water?
(click to show/hide)
Post by: contango on 06 March, 2016, 04:45:15 am
Quote from: some charlatanHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy.
So you're supposed to go "Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnomnomnom mani padme hum..." as you grind it then? ???
Yeah, that's my coat... the saffron-coloured one with the yak hair stuffing. ;D
I think you need something more like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4q6eaLn2mY
Post by: Basil on 07 March, 2016, 11:06:34 pm
Post by: ian on 11 March, 2016, 11:58:30 am
Today is a horrible day. I just looked in the cupboard for a post-swimming snack. No pecans. NO PECANS! And I don't have time to whiz to Holland & Barrett, my favoured supplier of 'perky pecans'. I know #firstworldproblems
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 March, 2016, 12:30:05 pm
Swimming like a fish,
It's time to make a wish.
No? Oh, pish!
Post by: T42 on 11 March, 2016, 01:44:04 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 11 March, 2016, 02:53:01 pm
Carrot in a chicken dish? No. Wrong!
My Mummy often put carrots in the chicken soup she made; nowt wrong with that!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 March, 2016, 09:51:49 am
Stop it! Stop it with your jus on everything and piling the whole dish into a model of the Devil's Tower in the middle of the plate! You are not Richard Dreyfus being a mental. Also the chips were cardboard, the squid rubbery, the leaves (various) over-abundant and the waitresses not pretty enough (apart from the one yesterday lunchtime who looked like a young Patsy Kensit). Stop trying to impress with poncery and get the fucking basics right, eh?
We shall not be back.
Post by: Pingu on 31 March, 2016, 03:06:49 pm
...the squid rubbery...
Insert old, racist joke here:
Post by: fuzzy on 04 April, 2016, 12:41:20 pm
...the squid rubbery...
Insert old, racist joke here:
Inna Benny Hill style?
Post by: ian on 09 April, 2016, 06:39:33 pm
It does taste like chicken. But looks like frog. Bull frog says the receipt.
Post by: tiermat on 10 April, 2016, 11:13:12 am
I ate a frog. I mimed a chicken. I don't see how the waitress couldn't mistake that for a frog. It's not called the frog dance, is it? Maybe the Birdie Song never reached China.
It does taste like chicken. But looks like frog. Bull frog says the receipt.
A trick I have heard of from crazyguy is to carry a set of photos, as laminated cards, showing the raw materials. Universal language, innit?
Post by: ian on 10 April, 2016, 01:29:25 pm
I wasn't actually too bothered by the frog, I was mostly trying to avoid things with tentacles (and I can mime those better) but we still ended up with prawns. I seriously think we got nothing that we thought we ordered.
On the other hand, it was actually quite tasty.
Post by: tiermat on 10 April, 2016, 03:57:17 pm
Post by: Jurek on 10 April, 2016, 06:52:47 pm
We used exactly this ploy when I was working in Changsha, capital of Hunan province.I ate a frog. I mimed a chicken. I don't see how the waitress couldn't mistake that for a frog. It's not called the frog dance, is it? Maybe the Birdie Song never reached China.
It does taste like chicken. But looks like frog. Bull frog says the receipt.
A trick I have heard of from crazyguy is to carry a set of photos, as laminated cards, showing the raw materials. Universal language, innit?
Pictures of Heiniken bottles on the smart phones, that kind of thing.
Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
Post by: Basil on 10 April, 2016, 07:01:29 pm
Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
:sick: Indeed.
But it is something I'm going to have to try before I die.
Post by: Jurek on 10 April, 2016, 07:10:58 pm
But why?Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
:sick: Indeed.
But it is something I'm going to have to try before I die.
Post by: ian on 10 April, 2016, 07:43:25 pm
Chinese stockpot is much the same idea as sukiyaki or shabu-shabu in Japan (both of which I've had several times), though a bit more earthy. May have contained actual earth, come to think of it.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 April, 2016, 07:57:20 pm
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.
We know a song about that, don't we, Billy! (http://youtu.be/cn73Wtem0No)
Post by: Basil on 10 April, 2016, 07:57:43 pm
Because I haven't.But why?Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
:sick: Indeed.
But it is something I'm going to have to try before I die.
Why else? ???
Post by: Jurek on 10 April, 2016, 08:23:41 pm
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.
We know a song about that, don't we, Billy! (http://youtu.be/cn73Wtem0No)
OK
Understood.
But why would you want to? - that's the bit I cannot get my head around.
Post by: rr on 10 April, 2016, 08:49:52 pm
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.There is one like that in Liverpool, but you help yourself to the raw stuff which is labeled in some approximation to English, still pretty hardcore though frog and beef tendon featured on the menu.
Chinese stockpot is much the same idea as sukiyaki or shabu-shabu in Japan (both of which I've had several times), though a bit more earthy. May have contained actual earth, come to think of it.
Post by: ian on 10 April, 2016, 10:44:50 pm
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 10 April, 2016, 10:54:40 pm
Makes note not to go to China.
Post by: Pingu on 10 April, 2016, 11:24:27 pm
The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
A sewage treatment works up here used to get chicken feet from the local processing plant until they started getting shipped them to China*.
*Allegedly.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 April, 2016, 08:43:56 am
The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.When my daughter was in a boarding school abroad, she complained that they kept getting fed lumps of fat for dinner. When reading a Dervla Murphy book about the region I discovered that smoked pig fat was considered a luxury food in the region. The catering staff were probably right hacked off with the stuck-up western students wasting the expensive food.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
Post by: ian on 11 April, 2016, 09:17:23 am
Post by: lahoski on 11 April, 2016, 09:46:08 am
The Chinese (well the ones I know, I've not met all of them yet) find my delicate tastes amusing. Beef tendon, pork intestines, stomach churning piles of fat, random chicken bits. I'm one of those effete people who trims the fat off bacon (I can only eat it as carbonised crispy bacon). I have no tolerance for the texture of fat. Weird textured stuff in general makes my stomach perform ill-advised acrobatic manoeuvres. I had a big plate of brown (many countries seem to have two staple food stuffs, red and brown) in Indonesia. I've no idea what it was, but it appeared to contain some variety of meat. Except it had a mysterious texture. Everyone was looking at me in that eager way they do when they expect a guest to say something nice about their hospitality so I had to eat. All of it.
How about stir fry pig's blood with chives?
Post by: ian on 11 April, 2016, 09:58:02 am
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 April, 2016, 11:06:34 am
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
The Yorkshire saying is "Every bit is useful apart from it's squeak". There was (until floods and stuff) a stall on Leeds market selling the squidgy rubbery tripe bits. I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 April, 2016, 02:20:20 pm
I don't know about a delicacy, more a staple really, but lard thickly spread on bread with a few slices of onion is popular in Poland. Everywhere between the Odra and Mongolia, really.The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.When my daughter was in a boarding school abroad, she complained that they kept getting fed lumps of fat for dinner. When reading a Dervla Murphy book about the region I discovered that smoked pig fat was considered a luxury food in the region. The catering staff were probably right hacked off with the stuck-up western students wasting the expensive food.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
Post by: ian on 11 April, 2016, 04:00:50 pm
My colleague, born of the GDR, was in seventh heaven on a trip to Serbia, when the locals started to scoop out the gloopy innards of a pigs' knees. I get squicked by the jelly in pork pies.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 April, 2016, 04:50:23 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 April, 2016, 06:01:42 pm
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
The Yorkshire saying is "Every bit is useful apart from it's squeak". There was (until floods and stuff) a stall on Leeds market selling the squidgy rubbery tripe bits. I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
It's also said that Hong Kong throws away nothing that can be:
- sold, or
- eaten
Post by: rafletcher on 12 April, 2016, 02:30:09 pm
I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
Not individually perhaps, but boiling a pig's head for brawn, as my mother used to, would naturally have included the eyes. And she was a nesh Southerner.
Post by: rafletcher on 12 April, 2016, 02:31:08 pm
My mum loves bread and dripping.
This used to be a staple in my childhood. And the jelly bit at the bottom was a real treat. Bovine "top of the milk".
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 April, 2016, 04:09:53 pm
Post by: CrinklyLion on 12 April, 2016, 11:18:53 pm
It was the ickle snout peeking out of the lid (pan wasn't quite big enough) and bubbling a bit that I found a bit disconcerting.
(I also made ordinary pate, sossidges and black pudding and started the process of making ham from other bits of the same piggy-wiggy. But didn't eat any of it, because at the time I was already about a dozen years into being a vegetarian.)
Post by: madcow on 13 April, 2016, 03:50:57 pm
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
The Yorkshire saying is "Every bit is useful apart from it's squeak". There was (until floods and stuff) a stall on Leeds market selling the squidgy rubbery tripe bits. I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
I always understood it was the Danes that started the line about using everything but the oink.
Tripe is cow's stomach which is different to other animals because it's designed to digest fibre .
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 April, 2016, 04:19:08 pm
Post by: geraldc on 14 April, 2016, 05:08:10 pm
Post by: ian on 14 April, 2016, 06:30:40 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 15 April, 2016, 10:58:13 am
People are weird.
Last night I, for the first time, I ate snails.
As my step-daughter observed, this seemed utterly pointless. It was like eating garlic butter with a chewy bit. Some garlic bread would have tasted the same and had a nicer consistency.
Post by: djmc on 15 April, 2016, 02:10:11 pm
Post by: Ruthie on 15 April, 2016, 05:49:04 pm
<regrets it>
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 15 April, 2016, 06:01:25 pm
<considers David Cameron>There are exceptions to all rules.
<regrets it>
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 April, 2016, 11:16:52 am
Hmm, 'potted crab' is usually, well, potted. Not a pate-like-mouse. Never mind. Bubble and squeak should be fried brown, not gently warmed. still, at least the poached egg was poached.
MrsC had orders a starter as main, scallops. They arrived looking slightly brown. She sliced one, looked confused. It looked uncooked in the middle. It was utter uncooked looking on the bottom. Cold in the middle. Not cool, cold. Embarrassed, in that English way, we called the waitress over. Back it went to the kitchen.
I'd ordered a mains salad, which was various grains, salad, enduki beans, halloumi (yes, yes, I know and I don't even have a hipster beard). While recounting tales of kitchen errors from my son I poked through my salad to realise with a sinking feeling that what I had was a pile of salad leaves and nothing else "excuse me, um, my salad, it seems to me missing, well most of it."
My salad returned and was very good. The scallops returned. Gently warmed. Slightly browned. ffs. MrsC loves seafood and couldn't bring herself to finish them. This was supposed to be a hot dish, served with some chips. Cold scallops and lukewarm chips on a cold plate.
We didn't get charged for the dishes and the staff were lovely. The chef needs a kick up the arse.
Post by: Ruthie on 17 April, 2016, 09:08:05 pm
Not a pate-like-mouse.
You should definitely have sent that back.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 April, 2016, 08:06:02 am
I know, right? potted crab, potted shrimp; getting that wrong in Yorkshire is criminal.Not a pate-like-mouse.
You should definitely have sent that back.
Post by: ian on 18 April, 2016, 10:07:26 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 April, 2016, 12:29:05 pm
Bald rodent? :DI know, right? potted crab, potted shrimp; getting that wrong in Yorkshire is criminal.Not a pate-like-mouse.
You should definitely have sent that back.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 April, 2016, 09:30:47 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 06 May, 2016, 11:52:11 am
Post by: ian on 06 May, 2016, 01:47:28 pm
Post by: Andrij on 06 May, 2016, 02:59:09 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 06 May, 2016, 03:54:28 pm
Post by: contango on 16 May, 2016, 04:38:14 am
Food with too many adjectives again...
I always laugh at menus that say things like "delicious, succulent chunks of tender chicken". As opposed to what, "unpleasant, dried out chunks of tasteless rubber"? It's a chicken curry, so cut the crap and call it a chicken curry. I'll decide for myself whether the sauce is "creamy and delicious", and whether it's a "generous portion".
Post by: Ham on 17 June, 2016, 08:45:29 am
Should this be in first world problems?
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2016, 09:44:30 am
I don't often have anything much for breakfast. The idea of a cheese toastie grew, I was really looking forward to it. Then the fucking toaster ate my toastie.
Should this be in first world problems?
You can't get decent domestic staff these days. Fire them.
I like toast but I hate buttering it. I hate buttering bread in general. It's a messy business.
Post by: T42 on 17 June, 2016, 10:23:05 am
Post by: L CC on 17 June, 2016, 11:34:47 am
We don't butter bread any more, we omega-three-spread it. :(A rant indeed.
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2016, 11:39:23 am
Post by: L CC on 17 June, 2016, 12:38:27 pm
Post by: nicknack on 17 June, 2016, 01:06:16 pm
:sick: fancy margarine is still margarine.Quite. Fortunately we have been a marg free household for decades.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 June, 2016, 01:10:49 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 June, 2016, 01:31:59 pm
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2016, 02:16:09 pm
I grew up eating Stork Margarine that may, I suppose, actually have been made from rendered-down storks.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 June, 2016, 02:21:35 pm
It's not particularly pricey if you buy in bulk. I could drink the stuff.
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2016, 03:36:18 pm
Post by: T42 on 17 June, 2016, 05:51:49 pm
When I was a kid we had one of those claws for making butter curls. That was fun, and made the stuff easier to spread.
Post by: closetleftie on 30 June, 2016, 05:38:06 pm
EU rules say all new coffee machines must have auto switch off hot plates.Good God! Auto switch off hot plates? What will the out-of-touch elite in Brussels think of next? Good thing we can get rid of all those Euro rules now. And have our Great! British! Coffee! That! Tastes! Like! Washing! Up! Liquid!
Sine the hot plate stews the coffee fairly quickly it's not a bad thing. What you want is a thermos jug instead, keeps the coffee hot without stewing it.
Post by: ian on 18 July, 2016, 12:53:38 pm
I fear the plate is rapidly becoming an endangered species.
Post by: hellymedic on 18 July, 2016, 02:30:45 pm
wewantplates.com
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 July, 2016, 02:48:42 pm
We Want Plates might provide you with merriment...That's brill.
wewantplates.com
My fav
http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/ (http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/)
Post by: caerau on 18 July, 2016, 02:54:40 pm
We Want Plates might provide you with merriment...That's brill.
wewantplates.com
My fav
http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/ (http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/)
Yes I discovered we want plates.com a few weeks ago. My sides have only just recovered.
That particular one I'd missed. I thought "wow food in a plant pot - that's not the word I've seen"
Then I realised that's actually real soil... :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :-D
I agree with you, that's AWESOME.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 July, 2016, 11:37:11 am
Post by: hellymedic on 24 July, 2016, 01:48:08 pm
The back of the fridge is much colder than the front and mine freezes.
Allowing air to circulate by not overloading the fridge should help.
I never put strawberries at the back of the fridge.
Post by: ian on 16 August, 2016, 07:57:51 pm
(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn190/ianp_photo/IMG_1689.jpg)
Note obligatory serving plank and galvanized chip pail with super-handy carrying handle. You never know when you'll need to transport your hot french fries.
In other news, peanut allergistas, the gluten intolerant and adopters of whatever this week's oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-special food fad is, fuck off and stop telling me about it.
Post by: mike on 16 August, 2016, 10:00:34 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 August, 2016, 10:47:25 pm
Post by: Jakob W on 17 August, 2016, 08:46:32 am
Post by: ian on 17 August, 2016, 09:13:12 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 August, 2016, 01:58:34 pm
Post by: Jurek on 24 August, 2016, 03:21:43 pm
Waitrose appear to have followed suit.
Is there something we should know?
About prawn spring rolls, I mean.
Post by: rafletcher on 24 August, 2016, 03:27:20 pm
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 24 August, 2016, 09:07:22 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 24 August, 2016, 09:15:13 pm
My local Tesco has stopped selling their bakery dark chocolate cookies. Apparently I must have been the only person buying them.
I don't think many Brits like dark chocolate...
Post by: orienteer on 25 August, 2016, 08:43:01 am
Post by: Canardly on 25 August, 2016, 09:37:54 am
Post by: Ham on 25 August, 2016, 09:49:50 am
Wikifleadia confirms:
Quote
Origin and etymology
In English, the most common name in North America is "romaine", while elsewhere it is known as "cos lettuce". Many dictionaries trace the word cos to the name of the Greek island of Cos, from which the lettuce was presumably introduced. Other authorities trace cos to the Arabic word for lettuce, khus
It apparently reached the West via Rome, as in Italian it is called lattuga romana and in French laitue romaine, both meaning 'Roman lettuce', hence the name 'romaine', the common term in North American English.
Post by: billplumtree on 25 August, 2016, 12:55:55 pm
Which bright spark decided that Cos lettuce should now be known as Romaine lettuce?
Since Broixit, innit.
Post by: hellymedic on 25 August, 2016, 12:58:56 pm
Well I do, it's what drives me to Lidl every so often to stock up on a selection bars :P
AIUI Lidl isn't BRITISH
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 August, 2016, 08:14:43 pm
Post by: woollypigs on 25 August, 2016, 08:15:39 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 25 August, 2016, 10:21:42 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 August, 2016, 08:46:13 am
Post by: rafletcher on 26 August, 2016, 09:28:34 am
Well I do, it's what drives me to Lidl every so often to stock up on a selection bars :P
AIUI Lidl isn't BRITISH
But orienteer is...
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 26 August, 2016, 02:27:53 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 September, 2016, 03:01:25 pm
Post by: ian on 08 September, 2016, 04:34:17 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 September, 2016, 02:49:25 am
Post by: contango on 13 September, 2016, 04:12:16 am
Are you eating monster sandwiches? The kind where you have to perform a radical fillingectomy before you can fit it into your mouth? I do miss that with anorexic British sandwiches. One lonely slice of ham. I want the pig. An entire pig microtomed into slices. With the annual cheese output of Wisconsin.
Funny to compare portion sizes. There was talk of a scientist who managed to divide a human hair into 16 different strands. He was last seen slicing the ham used in Network Fail sandwiches. Compare and contrast a bagel shop in downtown USAnia where the servers optimise efficiency by slicing the ham for the four bagels you just ordered all at once, and then you realise they do nothing of the sort and that's the ham for one bagel. I swear I had to dislocate my jaws like a snake to eat that thing.
On the flip side, people over here get to be so unfeasibly fat I wonder when they decide to stop eating. Seeing people who are so morbidly obese they could lose half their body weight and still be morbidly obese is a serious eye opener.
Post by: Julian on 13 September, 2016, 12:18:10 pm
You are so tasty and delicious
And turn the most mundane of dishes into a nut-studded feast
Why do you have to be produced by Vietnamese slaves held in abhorrent conditions?
:'(
Post by: Ruthie on 13 September, 2016, 12:37:54 pm
O cashews
You are so tasty and delicious
And turn the most mundane of dishes into a nut-studded feast
Why do you have to be produced by Vietnamese slaves held in abhorrent conditions?
:'(
Oh, they're not are they?
I was going to do my cashew nut pilaff for the church party next week :(
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 September, 2016, 04:24:45 pm
On the flip side, people over here get to be so unfeasibly fat I wonder when they decide to stop eating. Seeing people who are so morbidly obese they could lose half their body weight and still be morbidly obese is a serious eye opener.
Breakfast on Saturday in a diner in Susanville CA. Waitress directs bloke to a booth. Bloke looks like two Johnny Vegases in the same clothes. Bloke somehow squeezes himself 'twixt table and bench and sits gasping like a stranded fish before waitress returns with Brown Drink. Asks if he can sit at counter instead.
Post by: Wascally Weasel on 13 September, 2016, 04:34:14 pm
O cashews
You are so tasty and delicious
And turn the most mundane of dishes into a nut-studded feast
Why do you have to be produced by Vietnamese slaves held in abhorrent conditions?
:'(
Oh, they're not are they?
I was going to do my cashew nut pilaff for the church party next week :(
Bugger.
They are the best of nuts. I spect that the budget salted cashews wot I buy in Asda and similar places are potentially the worst then?
Post by: Julian on 13 September, 2016, 04:57:54 pm
Apparently fair trade ones are okay, but fair trade should be a counsel of perfection, not a bare minimum standard :(
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 September, 2016, 05:27:02 pm
Post by: madcow on 13 September, 2016, 11:57:47 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 September, 2016, 08:30:23 pm
Post by: contango on 16 September, 2016, 04:46:27 am
On the flip side, people over here get to be so unfeasibly fat I wonder when they decide to stop eating. Seeing people who are so morbidly obese they could lose half their body weight and still be morbidly obese is a serious eye opener.
Breakfast on Saturday in a diner in Susanville CA. Waitress directs bloke to a booth. Bloke looks like two Johnny Vegases in the same clothes. Bloke somehow squeezes himself 'twixt table and bench and sits gasping like a stranded fish before waitress returns with Brown Drink. Asks if he can sit at counter instead.
I believe it. Back in the days when I was the wrong side of 20 stone I could visit the US and feel positively sylph-like. Here the "all you can eat" buffet seems a far more common feature than in the UK and there are few if any checks to alert people they are getting bigger. Back in the day when my 42-inch trousers got a little too snug it was a real struggle to find anything suitable in a 44-inch waist. Here if you've got a 56-inch waist you can still get a pair of shorts that would be verging on indecent if worn by someone with a 26-inch waist.
And then you see the people who are practically spherical who walk around fairs eating their own body weight in popcorn and ice cream.
Post by: rafletcher on 17 September, 2016, 04:23:54 pm
Post by: ian on 19 September, 2016, 09:58:43 am
You've never seen such a titanic mass of ice cream balanced atop a cone that was handed to me. That was the smallest thing they had available. It was very nice but no one really needs that much ice cream.
Post by: contango on 19 September, 2016, 08:02:47 pm
I had an ice cream a couple of weeks back in the US. I figured a single scoop in a cone was the least dangerous thing on the menu.
You've never seen such a titanic mass of ice cream balanced atop a cone that was handed to me. That was the smallest thing they had available. It was very nice but no one really needs that much ice cream.
The spherical folks who wobble around country fairs would beg to differ on that.
My local outlet offers sizes from small to large and a medium is enough to make me feel like I'm seriously pigging out. Then I go to the country fair and see the kind of ice cream that looks like it probably weighs more than I do, and then see the Spherical People wobbling around eating them with a similarly sized bag of popcorn in the other hand.
I know people can become very fat through reasons other than eating too much. I get it. But when people who are practically spherical are visibly eating such gargantuan portions of junk it's probably safe to conclude that at least part of the solution is in their hands.
Post by: ian on 19 September, 2016, 08:56:12 pm
A little Googling seems to indicate the the dubious winner of this contest of calorific armageddon seems to be the Cold Stone Creamery's PB&C milkshake which packs an almighty 2,010 calories, 153 grams of sugar, and 68-bacon strips worth of saturated fat in a convenient drinkable format so you don't have to waste any calories chewing.
Before we chastise our American cousins too much, I wade through the detritus left by the daily ebb and flow of children to the local school and that's exclusively fizzy drinks, crisps, and chocolate. For breakfast. No worries though, our government stepped in a few weeks ago with its own childhood anti-obesity strategy which mostly seemed to be centred around ensuring a healthy supply of non-exec positions on food industry company boards.
Post by: ian on 20 September, 2016, 09:26:36 am
Tacos. That's why.
I like tacos. I got them lined up for my final meal on death row (it's not clear what I'll be on death row for yet, but if it happens, I'm finishing my innings on tacos). Admittedly, it's been pointed out that I can eat tacos without having to be awaiting execution. Ordinary Monday nights are fine and a less drastic approach to taco consumption. No murdering required. Mind you, criminality has always been pretty optional for inclusion on US death row.
I'm a bit lazy too but there's always been an idea shortcut to taco-ry, and that's Discover (now Santa Maria, cos she's the patroness saint of tacos) Taco Seasoning Mix. Really, chop up some animal part, add packet, sizzle, and you've got a very good and faff-free taco filling.
So, last night, I'm fomenting a taco salad, a unrighteous and riotous concoction of rice, sweetcorn and cheese with a passing acquaintance to salad (there's lettuce, tomato, peppers, cucumber and avocado – oh and some more cheese and did I mention sour cream, and tortilla chips) of which the centrepiece is spicy taco chicken. So I open to the packet. I'm sure the magic powder inside is a different colour, no longer paprika red but now out-of-control industrial process orange. Glance at packet. Fateful words resolve: new improved recipe. Anyone familiar with the phrase 'new improved recipe' will know that while it may be 'new' it's never 'improved'.
And it wasn't. Instead of spicy chicken, I got gloopy sweet chicken, same as you get with El Paso nasty tacos. Bah. Now I have make my own seasoning or find an alternative. The horror, the horror. I know #firstworldproblem but damn them to Hell and back.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 September, 2016, 11:00:29 am
Post by: ian on 20 September, 2016, 11:31:45 am
I'm not convinced by the HFCS-is-uniquely-nasty hypothesis, I think it's general overabundance of sugar in products. Sucrose is pretty much hydrolysed into much the same 1:1 glucose-fructose mix in the stomach. Of course, if something contains HFCS, it's a good flag that it's going to be processed n-th degree nastiness.
I won't have anything bad said about processed cheese food products though. Mmm, tasty, tasty cheese slices.
Post by: TheLurker on 20 September, 2016, 07:32:46 pm
In September.
Not even bloody Halloween, never mind bonfire night.
*I.e. the sweet sort traditionally associated with Xmas; you know that pagan mid-winter bash co-opted by the Christians? Yeah that one. The one that's three effing months away. Not the sort filled with minced lamb (or mutton) known in these benighted and uncultured parts as "Scotch" pies. Just so we're clear about it. Mince pies made from lumps of chopped up sheep (of whatever age) are OK all year round.
Post by: hellymedic on 20 September, 2016, 07:42:01 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 September, 2016, 02:11:19 am
Mince pies made from lumps of chopped up sheep (of whatever age) are OK all year round.
As are the other sort :demon:
Post by: citoyen on 21 September, 2016, 08:15:55 am
And it wasn't. Instead of spicy chicken, I got gloopy sweet chicken, same as you get with El Paso nasty tacos. Bah. Now I have make my own seasoning or find an alternative. The horror, the horror. I know #firstworldproblem but damn them to Hell and back.
Oh FFS. I've always liked Discovery/Santa Maria Fajitas mix. If they've turned that into the same disgusting sweet gloop you get from El Paso I'll be very pissed off indeed.
Post by: ian on 21 September, 2016, 09:14:19 am
And it wasn't. Instead of spicy chicken, I got gloopy sweet chicken, same as you get with El Paso nasty tacos. Bah. Now I have make my own seasoning or find an alternative. The horror, the horror. I know #firstworldproblem but damn them to Hell and back.
Oh FFS. I've always liked Discovery/Santa Maria Fajitas mix. If they've turned that into the same disgusting sweet gloop you get from El Paso I'll be very pissed off indeed.
It's was sad evening (and a disappointing taco salad), but the taco mix is completely reformulated and, for a bonus, they've added some sugar because that's what we all need a bit more of. I have one packet of old formulation left so I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection. It was quite unusual in the fact that it was actually just powdered spice without the usual fillers and bulking agents.
I see that the fajita mix also has the dreaded 'new improved recipe' printed on the packet. For some reason it's now made in Sweden, not exactly the centre of Tex-Mex food like, erm, Milton Keynes was.
Post by: citoyen on 21 September, 2016, 10:35:11 am
Post by: ElyDave on 22 September, 2016, 09:42:06 pm
Post by: Basil on 24 September, 2016, 09:55:41 am
File with Not a Pie.
Post by: citoyen on 24 September, 2016, 01:53:20 pm
whereas the only manufactured elements of my dinner tonight were Thai curry paste and quorn chunks. Very tasty it was too with various veg O:-)
Unlike fajita spice mix, Thai curry paste is something I make myself. I found a really good recipe on the BBC food website that's very quick and easy to knock up - and gives you enough paste for 3-4 dinners.
If the Santa Maria stuff really is as bad as El Paso now, I shall have to resort to making that myself as well. Oh well, probably for the best in the long run.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 September, 2016, 02:00:40 pm
Post by: TheLurker on 24 September, 2016, 07:22:23 pm
They ran out of sausages (or rather the pale USAnian facsimiles of same) at breakfast just now. I shall write a Stern Letter to Nice Mr Obambi before he's out on his ear.Any man who contends that it is not an heretical act to eat Xmas mince pies at times other than in their due season (which being late December until very early January - mid Jan at a push if the dearly beloved has over-catered) deserves all the victual and gastronomic related distress that shall be his lot. Yea, verily here endeth the lesson. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. ect ect ect :)
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 September, 2016, 10:52:49 am
Post by: Ham on 26 September, 2016, 10:30:46 pm
I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection.
My Mexican spice mix (which I use for anything however you fold it)is based around the following-ish mix
2:Garlic powder
2:Onion Powder
2: Cumin
1: Coriander
1: Oregano (or not)
1: Chili Powder(or less)
1: Cayenne (or less)
1: Paprika (or not)
I don't use salt at all.
HTH
Post by: ian on 27 September, 2016, 07:58:22 am
Post by: T42 on 27 September, 2016, 08:21:30 am
Look, I had a five hour drive ahead of me followed by the double horror of O'Hare airport and airline food. Anything to stoke up for the famine ahead ;D
My arms still whimper at the memory of sprinting through O'Hare with 10 minutes to make a connection back in the days when suitcases with wheels were those new-fangled things.
Post by: ian on 27 September, 2016, 08:38:35 am
Hell for me will involve an eternity stuck behind someone standing on a moving walkway.
Post by: fuzzy on 28 September, 2016, 08:22:46 am
They ran out of sausages (or rather the pale USAnian facsimiles of same) at breakfast just now. I shall write a Stern Letter to Nice Mr Obambi before he's out on his ear.Any man who contends that it is not an heretical act to eat Xmas mince pies at times other than in their due season (which being late December until very early January - mid Jan at a push if the dearly beloved has over-catered) deserves all the victual and gastronomic related distress that shall be his lot. Yea, verily here endeth the lesson. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. ect ect ect :)
The lack of ANY product in a Left Pondian breakfast buffet is a matter of grave importance, whether one utilises it or not.
Particularly if it is of the carbohydrate and syrup stock OR the crispy baconish goodness to dump on top.
Post by: ian on 28 September, 2016, 08:45:19 am
One of my colleagues had the temerity to declare my breakfast unhealthy. So I tipped her fruit salad on top. Ta-da! It's got blueberries anyway and maple syrup is squeezed out of trees (by bears).
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 September, 2016, 08:59:30 am
There is only me and the youngest in the house, so I thought I'd treat him to a beefburger, bought him a couple of hereford pure beefburgers. They looked to be make of decent meat.
2" thick. How ruddy ridiculous, impossible to cook through without overcooking the outside. I pretty much gave up, good thing he likes his meat bleeding. FFS.
I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.
Post by: Ham on 28 September, 2016, 09:21:16 am
I'm not fond of beef and IMO opinion, it is overpriced.
There is only me and the youngest in the house, so I thought I'd treat him to a beefburger, bought him a couple of hereford pure beefburgers. They looked to be make of decent meat.
2" thick. How ruddy ridiculous, impossible to cook through without overcooking the outside. I pretty much gave up, good thing he likes his meat bleeding. FFS.
I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.
OK, 2" (if that's not a slight exaggeration) is thick, if there were a line I'd draw it around 30-35mm when it will cook properly, but actually it doesn't need cooking - think steak tartare. Of course as with any thick steak it is important you take it out the fridge and let it reach room temperature first.
Post by: hatler on 28 September, 2016, 09:26:10 am
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 September, 2016, 09:30:10 am
Hatler, I think that article says it all.
There is another burger to cook. I think I'll slice this one in half, cook both halves, then put some gerkins and cheese in the middle before reassembling.
Post by: pcolbeck on 28 September, 2016, 09:35:53 am
I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.
You can but you have to do it in the oven not a frying pan. Cook it on a lower heat for longer.
Post by: Ham on 28 September, 2016, 10:55:52 am
Hmmmm. There is a view (http://www.thetrollspantry.co.uk/2013/11/11/undercooked-burgers-the-facts/) which is that burgers should be cooked all the way through.
And, let's face it, you are probably best advised to wear a h*lm*t to make certain you don't crack your head open on that cupboard door.
Attitude to food poisoning should be an informed continuum where you consider all factors including your own state of health, appetite for risk and appetite for the food in question. Personally I will continue eating my beef rare/blue most times. That does NOT include your average pub or burger bar. I will continue to make my own steak hache from time to time and serve it rare, anything else is sacrilege. I aten't ded yet. I also wouldn't consider trying to persuade anyone to have it cooked other than they would like it and (shuddering at the memory) I have even cooked fillet steak well done as a consequence.
Post by: ian on 28 September, 2016, 11:45:03 am
I'm not convinced the well-kept meat minced in a clean kitchen with clean utensils is a threat. Notably, salad is the most common cause of E coli outbreaks. Of course, ordering a rare burgers from the place proudly displaying a FSA rating of 1 is probably less than wise.
Post by: rafletcher on 29 September, 2016, 08:47:34 am
raw fish is bletchworthy extreme
Ah, bring back memories of a recent business trip to Italy (to an area aboyt 70km north of Venice). There were three of us, and we were asked whether we would prefer meat of fish for dinner. As we had a non-meat eater in our group, fish was the default.
The first course was a single oyster gratin. very nice "amuse bouche" (no idea of the equivalent in Italian).
The next 4 "courses" were all raw fish and seafood, including several varieties of prawns, the nicest of which were the red Prawns.
It was an experience, though not one I'm that keen to repeat. I guess my palette isn't discriminating enough to taste the subtle differences between sea bass, turbot, swordfish etc when served raw. Very filling though, as the meal was 100% protein!
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2016, 09:30:50 am
Post by: fuzzy on 29 September, 2016, 12:14:25 pm
I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.
So a Dutch (raw) herring and onion roll is not on the menu then?
Post by: ian on 29 September, 2016, 02:07:48 pm
I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.
So a Dutch (raw) herring and onion roll is not on the menu then?
Well, that's pickled so sort-of cooked though I'm still not a big fan of the texture. Fishy things in general I'm a bit meh about.
Post by: citoyen on 29 September, 2016, 02:08:09 pm
Ian, I'm totally the opposite to you when it comes to tuna - hate it when it's cooked all the way through, it just goes dry and fibrous. Needs to be just seared on the outside and still raw in the middle. Only works when the tuna is absolutely fresh though.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 September, 2016, 07:20:36 pm
Yes, I know I'm weird.
I really liked the burgers at the Boozy Cow in Aberdeen until the FSA got all nanny on us and made them start cooking them all the way through. No way I'm eating them now. :hand:
Post by: ian on 27 October, 2016, 09:50:26 am
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2016, 11:42:04 am
I consumed MUCH less junk when not travelling.
Post by: barakta on 27 October, 2016, 12:53:02 pm
No one ever comments on the calorific intake of someone drinking 5 pints which is probably even more calorific and pointless than that lady's breakfast and not a heavy night out for many people. The "always on a diet" women at work who freaked out about ALLTHECALORIES constantly used to tell me I was lucky I could eat what I liked and be thin (in women code, telling me my lunch was calorific and baad) while talking about buying 4-6 bottles of wine a week in the supermarket for them+spouse which easily totalled more calories a day each than my lunch. There was no reasoning with them, no pointing out the futility of their diet bollocks as they starved themselves and filled up with empty wine calories (while their weight yoyoed constantly) or indeed the toxicity of their judging everyone else's food.
Post by: Kim on 27 October, 2016, 01:03:47 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2016, 02:47:01 pm
IMO they're great for travelling and parties.
(I'd really quite like some vegetable crisps but they are too pricy for my mean streak!)
Post by: ian on 27 October, 2016, 08:36:10 pm
Anyway, even given Southern's timetabling you don't actually need to bring aboard that much additional food to get from Purley Oaks to London Bridge.
On the plus side, I think pickled onion Monster Munch qualify as one of your five a day.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 28 October, 2016, 12:42:54 pm
Girl on the train. Breakfast seems to be two industrial bags of Monster Munch (pickled onion and beef) intermixed with a family sized bar of Dairy Milk. Washed down with full fat coke. I hate to think what dinner is. Is this what happens in the movie?Maybe she's just finished an audax.
Post by: ian on 28 October, 2016, 12:47:49 pm
(Just for the record, I wasn't claiming any posho points for travelling first class, I just sit in there because it's a metro service and it isn't enforced, which means it's usually free of oiks – not to mention first class is really exactly the same as the other bits of the train, just with a glass partition door and slightly less stained seats.)
Post by: Pickled Onion on 28 October, 2016, 06:09:21 pm
Post by: SteveC on 28 October, 2016, 06:32:53 pm
Shallot #3 works in a pub restaurant. She was telling me about a table the other day where, along with the usual dietary requirements (no fewer than three coeliacs—who knew it was so common?) there were two people who claimed to have "Cow-Allergy". So, no butter, milk, beef or dripping, but goats cheese, chicken, lard, etc. were fine. Is that seriously a thing?I have a friend who claims the same about pork (but we don't tend to eat pig-milk products so it's less of an issue). I think in theory you can be allergic to just about anything, but I do have my doubts about some people.
Post by: geraldc on 28 October, 2016, 07:58:19 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/07/tick-bites-that-trigger-severe-meat-allergy-on-rise-around-the-world
Post by: Tigerrr on 30 October, 2016, 07:09:09 am
Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits was the solution, and special gluten free puddings. Imagine the delight when the gluten intolerant one called an hour before to say she thought she had a bit of flu and wasn't going to make it.
I had to eat the meal for her instead of getting a nice Thai takeout. That was a sacrifice I can tell you.
Post by: T42 on 30 October, 2016, 07:15:51 am
I was dubious about meat allergies until I read this
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/07/tick-bites-that-trigger-severe-meat-allergy-on-rise-around-the-world
The Surgeon General has determined that reading the Guardian can be dangerous to your appetite.
Post by: contango on 07 November, 2016, 04:14:56 am
I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection.
My Mexican spice mix (which I use for anything however you fold it)is based around the following-ish mix
2:Garlic powder
2:Onion Powder
2: Cumin
1: Coriander
1: Oregano (or not)
1: Chili Powder(or less)
1: Cayenne (or less)
1: Paprika (or not)
I don't use salt at all.
HTH
Personally I'd add something with a bit of kick to that mix. A friend who grows hot peppers gave me a red powder labelled merely "wild blend". It turned out to be a variety of weird and wonderful hot peppers and had the kind of kick to it that makes cayenne pepper look pretty tame. But then I do rather like cayenne pepper in what I titled my "demon mocha" in years gone by.
Post by: Ham on 07 November, 2016, 08:57:12 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 November, 2016, 08:27:03 am
Mrs Tiger's book group were at ours this week. A frenzy of clearing, cleaning and hoovering was followed by a day in kitchen preparing food to the exacting standards of this assortment ofSpeaking as a person who is not celiac, but who was diagnosed wheat-intolerant decades ago in a hospital, that sort of thing really pisses me off. I've managed for all those years by simply eating normal meals. Avoiding taking mouthfuls of pasta or pizza and eating the, you know, *normal* food. That's all that's required. Not putting hosts through some effing pointless torture.food cranksdiscerning diners. The greatest challenge was the gluten free one which in the end drove the whole menu. Plus various veg/no carbs/etc etc.
Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits was the solution, and special gluten free puddings. Imagine the delight when the gluten intolerant one called an hour before to say she thought she had a bit of flu and wasn't going to make it.
I had to eat the meal for her instead of getting a nice Thai takeout. That was a sacrifice I can tell you.
Post by: hellymedic on 14 November, 2016, 06:45:43 pm
Mrs Tiger's book group were at ours this week. A frenzy of clearing, cleaning and hoovering was followed by a day in kitchen preparing food to the exacting standards of this assortment ofSpeaking as a person who is not celiac, but who was diagnosed wheat-intolerant decades ago in a hospital, that sort of thing really pisses me off. I've managed for all those years by simply eating normal meals. Avoiding taking mouthfuls of pasta or pizza and eating the, you know, *normal* food. That's all that's required. Not putting hosts through some effing pointless torture.food cranksdiscerning diners. The greatest challenge was the gluten free one which in the end drove the whole menu. Plus various veg/no carbs/etc etc.
Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits was the solution, and special gluten free puddings. Imagine the delight when the gluten intolerant one called an hour before to say she thought she had a bit of flu and wasn't going to make it.
I had to eat the meal for her instead of getting a nice Thai takeout. That was a sacrifice I can tell you.
Some real coeliacs are very ill after microscopic quantities of gluten.
Some seem fine with minimally prepared Real Foods but would still relish a nicely-cooked complex dish. This is a challenge for a host(ess) but some are up for challenging cookery. I don't think either a guest or host deserve scorn.
Post by: jsabine on 15 November, 2016, 11:51:35 am
As for serving "Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits," this is down to the cook not to the dinner guests.
If I did put that on the table, I would be ashamed to blame it on other people's food allergies (or even preferences) rather than my own lack of imagination.
Post by: ian on 15 November, 2016, 12:07:53 pm
Post by: Bledlow on 15 November, 2016, 09:22:37 pm
Yep, suck them heads. It's a thing. Everyone slurping out those crispy little craniums like short-changed zombies.You should try Ise-ebi sashimi. Looks like this -
Really, I'm not hot on the entire crustacean thing. I can manage prawns though I would rather not. I remember once in Boston trying to ignore my girlfriend dismembering a lobster when splat, guts down my front. She looks at me and says 'was that me?' Like lobster guts just rain from the sky. Not even in Maine, honey.
Oh, and Baltimore crabs. You have to, they insist. These people are monsters, after about five minutes there's bits of crab everywhere, legs, claws, bits of shell. It's like someone has dropped a daisy cutter on a beach. Carnage. I don't need to see that and I definitely don't want to eat it.
(https://shizuokagourmet.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/ise-ebi-sashimi.jpg?w=474)
You don't suck the head though. After you've eaten the raw meat artistically laid out on the upturned carapace, they take away the head & make soup from it, for you to enjoy towards the end of the meal.
Post by: ian on 16 November, 2016, 09:58:45 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 November, 2016, 10:37:30 am
Post by: tiermat on 20 November, 2016, 01:33:18 pm
If I go for a meal out, especially if it is with a person I love and adore, the last thing you will see is me getting my phone out to take pictures of what I am eating. Why is this? Well I understand that the chef has spent a lot of time formulating a recipe which tastes nice, then nearly as much time (and sometimes more) making sure that the food is presented in an attractive manner. At no point in the process does your average chef think "this looks crap to the person eating it, but will look fantastic on social media". Hence do not expect me to either a) wait whilst you take a photo of my food, or 2) respond positively to your posts on social media of your meal, or iii) post photos of my food on said social media. */**
* Certain forum members this is most definitely not aimed at
** Food I have cooked lands in a completely different category!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 November, 2016, 01:38:17 pm
Post by: Kim on 20 November, 2016, 05:37:46 pm
Post by: ian on 20 November, 2016, 06:44:20 pm
I think I mentioned the crazy lady I know who photographs and blogs about everything she eats. Best cornflakes ever. That sort of thing. Lordy.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 November, 2016, 06:46:19 pm
Anyone, be they staff or merely prurient member of the unwashed masses, who asks to take a photograph of my dinner runs the very real risk of finding themselves wearing it for a hat >:(Do people do that? Take photos of other people's meals? I suppose they must do. ???
Post by: contango on 30 November, 2016, 05:14:43 am
Oh, wait....
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 January, 2017, 06:42:22 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 11 January, 2017, 10:34:56 pm
Cappucino flavoured Werther's Originals. :sick: :sick: :sick:
This should be in a new thread; Things that are crap, and are even worse combined.
Post by: fuzzy on 11 January, 2017, 11:10:07 pm
Bollocks.
Post by: Jaded on 11 January, 2017, 11:11:13 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 11 January, 2017, 11:15:57 pm
Surely bollocks are savoury?Surely bollocks are unsavoury?
:sick:
Post by: ElyDave on 12 January, 2017, 05:47:19 pm
It was bloody undrinkable, worse than starbucks. Harsh, burnt, metallic flavours in both espresso machine and cafetiere. I left feedback on their website to that effect, including telling them that the rest of it was going to be composted.
Nice lady got in touch with me, wanted to know batch numbers ets and would take a look.
I later got a response from their QA manager, Rudy.
I have just read your email and it sounds like you purchased Revelation – Espresso grind which is a traditional dark roast for people who are into this type of flavour profile, use home espresso machines or percolators, and don’t have a grinder. By the sound of it you don’t belong to that crowd!
The way you describe your sensory experience is typical of dark roasts, bad luck wanted you to start on the wrong end of our range... If you like balanced and fruity coffees and have a grinder I would recommend Rwanda Maraba whole beans which is a medium-light roast, I can guarantee you will have a different experience.
On a side note, if you are into lighter roasts you might also want to visit our website to have a look at our single origins and micro-lots which are not available in supermarket. https://www.unionroasted.com/
I hope this helps. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch or even give me a ring if you have any question about our coffees.
Patronising b@$tard. Assuming I hadn't intended to buy espresso in the first place, assuming I don't like strong coffee. I just don't like shit coffee.
Post by: Legs on 12 January, 2017, 07:25:22 pm
Post by: spesh on 12 January, 2017, 11:37:24 pm
The chrimbo stash pile has run out of savoury treats. All that is left is chocolate, toffee and biscuits.
Bollocks.
Crystallised and dipped in chocolate? :demon:
Post by: Ham on 23 January, 2017, 09:51:54 am
For context, I'm off to NZ in a couple of weeks so made a visit to Majestic and spent a few bob on some decent bottles. I kind-of knew what to expect so disappointment would be a little disingenuous, but I really don't go a bundle on the NZ up-front-full-off-flavours style. I do wonder whether, like the Ozzie wine, the local growers create a range of wines that are unlike the euro-expectations and are rather good.
Maybe I should have looked for the 1st world problem thread.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 January, 2017, 09:58:41 am
Post by: T42 on 02 February, 2017, 08:44:49 am
Post by: rafletcher on 02 February, 2017, 11:40:25 am
Post by: Jakob W on 02 February, 2017, 01:50:08 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 02 February, 2017, 03:53:26 pm
I noticed the same thing yesterday - and there was some abomination instead: Yorkshire 'Breaktime Tea' with Citrus, and 'Bedtime Tea' - decaf with herbs :sick: :sick: :sick: :hand:
Oh yes, a several of "mucked about" (as my Yorkshire born and bred wife would say) teabagged versions were available.
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2017, 12:28:28 pm
That's it. If you're going to sell pizzas master this first.
I periodically make the mistake of grabbing a pizza on my way home because I can't be bothered to cook and it's always foul. Mostly because the base always seems to be thick stodgy crust (if it declares 'thin crust' on the packaging it's a big fat lie for a big fat pizza) and the sauce on top has basically the same sweetness as jam. I'm not sure when it became a thing to put a couple of spoons of sugar in tomato sauce (it's not ketchup). Anyway, I end up throwing it away because it's inedible. Several weeks back I had the supremely dubious pleasure of meeting a Papa John pizza. Oh jesus, thick dank soggy dough, a random sprinkling of tasteless toppings. Oh the grounds the base was effectively inedible they'd provided a dipping sauce to try and disguise the fact. And it was BBQ sauce. For a pizza. How can you make something so simple so bad? Stop it.
Same yesterday, grabbed a cheese and ham panini while waiting for a train. Cheese and ham toasty. How difficult to put cheese and ham between some bread and toast it? Basically I ended up with a lump of soggy stodge. The cheese wasn't cheese, it was what appeared to be some kind of ersatz bechamel sauce. That had, of course, simple soaked into the bread because that's what happens when your put liquid on bread and is why we don't eat soup sandwiches. The ham really wasn't worth a pig dying over, it could have been anything with a vague slimy texture and no taste. To be honest, there was so little of it in there, it was hard to say. To cap it all, they really hadn't even bothered to toast it, just show it the grill, so I had the delight of a pallid, lukewarm, tasteless lump of damp bread. I ate half of it before giving up as it was just calories with no pleasure. I would have taken it back but I was already on the train.
You can't put ham and cheese in a bread and toast it. I don't expect much from a train station concourse concession, but seriously.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 March, 2017, 04:30:31 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 19 March, 2017, 04:39:20 pm
Post by: ian on 19 March, 2017, 04:53:08 pm
For my last home pizza making session I took the usual carton of passata (because I am lazy) and reduced it a bit more and used that on top. Seemed to work ok. I'm getting quite good at spinach and egg at home but it's a bit of a pain getting it back in the furnace without the egg going everywhere.
Put the pizza on the tray (I have a one with holes in it, less hassle than scraping it off the shelf) and then crack the egg in the middle is how I do it.
The mistake of thin, home-cooked pizza is too much/too wet topping.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 March, 2017, 04:56:17 pm
For the eggy pizza I cook it for a few mins and then put the egg on cos the egg cooks faster than the pizza does and I like the yolk to be runny.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 March, 2017, 11:09:11 am
Cheat and use a tortilla wrap. Works perfectly well and if you don't have an oven you can do them on a flat pan on a stove. even do a 'calzone' and if you are a sad gluten-free freak like me then you can get those Warburton flat wraps.For my last home pizza making session I took the usual carton of passata (because I am lazy) and reduced it a bit more and used that on top. Seemed to work ok. I'm getting quite good at spinach and egg at home but it's a bit of a pain getting it back in the furnace without the egg going everywhere.
Put the pizza on the tray (I have a one with holes in it, less hassle than scraping it off the shelf) and then crack the egg in the middle is how I do it.
The mistake of thin, home-cooked pizza is too much/too wet topping.
I did several on weekend, crack an egg on one, low heat, sprinkle of cheese, bit of pepper. Wait for egg to just start to cook through, then up the heat and sprinkle a few more ingredients on. Crispy thin base, egg *just* cooked, excellent.
Then tried a 'calzone' version. Worked perfectly. Except that rest of family demanded them and I ended up stood over stove making another 3. Ok I was cheating and using a bit of cheese to 'seal' them but they still worked perfectly.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 March, 2017, 11:28:27 am
Same yesterday, grabbed a cheese and ham panini while waiting for a train.Not a rant, just reminds me of something at the weekend. Audaxer walks into a cafe and asks for a cheese and ham toasty. "You want a panini?" inquires the proprietor.
Post by: contango on 20 March, 2017, 04:40:38 pm
I quite often put cheese and ham between two slices of bread and buzz it in the microwave for 40 seconds. The bread doesn't come out toasted - if I wanted that I'd put it in the toaster first - but it works perfectly well for a snack to eat sitting down. Don't know I'd want to eat it on the move, the cheese sometimes oozes out and falls on the plate.
Post by: ian on 22 March, 2017, 07:45:01 am
Post by: hatler on 22 March, 2017, 07:54:44 am
Same yesterday, grabbed a cheese and ham panini while waiting for a train. Cheese and ham toasty. How difficult to put cheese and ham between some bread and toast it? Basically I ended up with a lump of soggy stodge. The cheese wasn't cheese, it was what appeared to be some kind of ersatz bechamel sauce. That had, of course, simple soaked into the bread because that's what happens when your put liquid on bread and is why we don't eat soup sandwiches. The ham really wasn't worth a pig dying over, it could have been anything with a vague slimy texture and no taste. To be honest, there was so little of it in there, it was hard to say. To cap it all, they really hadn't even bothered to toast it, just show it the grill, so I had the delight of a pallid, lukewarm, tasteless lump of damp bread. I ate half of it before giving up as it was just calories with no pleasure. I would have taken it back but I was already on the train.When I wasn't yet even a poor penniless student oaf I was on the train on the way back from Swansea having wandered round the uni there. (That puts it at'79/'80.) I was hungry but almost potless, and very conscious that train food was crap. I held out all the way to about Reading when they announced that the buffet would soon close. I cracked and headed off for sustenance. Ha ! As if. I ordered a 'Toasted cheese sandwich'. It was so execrably disappointing that even as a spotty, shy and unconfrontational 18 year old I was compelled to take it back and complain. It was that bad.
The chap behind the counter (I'm not going to use any catering style identification for him) refused a refund, but I persisted on the grounds that what I had been given wasn't toasted. He explained the method by which this excrescence was produced. Two pieces of factory bread were toasted on one side, then placed in the fridge, When the order was taken a slice of cheese was placed on the untoasted side of a slice, and the second slice was placed on top with the toasted bit upwards. The whole lot was then microwaved for a minute or so.
My contention was that this wasn't a toasted cheese sandwich but instead a microwaved cheese sandwich. His supervisor got involved and I got my money back. I was still hungry though.
(And, other than in first class on the Eurostar, that was the last time I ever ordered food on a train.)
Post by: ian on 22 March, 2017, 08:09:40 am
Post by: T42 on 19 April, 2017, 01:14:22 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 19 April, 2017, 08:29:38 pm
Post by: Pickled Onion on 22 April, 2017, 04:56:49 pm
Post by: Pingu on 22 April, 2017, 06:30:54 pm
...I'll drink whatever I like...
This.
Post by: contango on 23 May, 2017, 03:57:31 am
When I order unsweet ice tea and the first thing the waitress asks is whether I want sweeteners. If I wanted sweet tea I'd have ordered sweet tea.
I hear that in some southern states drinking iced tea that isn't so sweet you can feel it sucking the enamel from your teeth is considered a capital offence. I think those are the same states where it's legal to marry your sister, but only if she has more teeth than you do.
Sadly another Arby's rant. They're rapidly on their way to falling from "preferred fast food" status, which they have largely because I refuse to eat at most of their competitors. This visit, another one to break a tedious drive, resulted in a portion of fries that tasted like they had been cooked in old oil, then left to go cold, then warmed to something marginally warmed than the prevailing temperature. That one pissed me off enough to actually spend the time, while on the phone to their customer services department, to scan the route I'd taken on Google Maps and find the offending branch. I got a couple of vouchers for free meals out of it. They don't seem to have any serial numbers or other identification on them, so I have to wonder how many enterprising types scan them and print their own. That might explain why it costs nearly twenty bucks for a couple of beef sandwiches, curly fries and drink.
Post by: T42 on 23 May, 2017, 08:58:11 am
Post by: ElyDave on 23 May, 2017, 01:22:30 pm
...I'll drink whatever I like...
This.
Absolutely, had that discussion in Cafe Boheme with the owner once.
Q - Would you recommend this white or this red with what I've ordered? - it was a meat dish
A - Well, which do you like most? That's the most important thing.
And this from a Frenchman. :thumbsup:
Post by: ian on 25 May, 2017, 07:27:38 am
Not quite as much fun as we had the time we got lost in West Virginia. All the good stuff happens to me in West Virginia (admittedly this one not as good as the Shock N Awe Crawfish Broil, but close, I'll save that for another post as the last person I told it too laughed so much she wet herself*).
Arby's. Their tag line is We Have All the Meats™. Including, presumably, rat and cockroach.
*No really, she had to buy new knickers. And she really won't thank me for mentioning her name.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 June, 2017, 09:37:20 pm
Post by: ian on 06 June, 2017, 11:24:57 am
It's like eating a mattress.
And it's always the stuff supermarkets have in stock because no one likes it. Just stop making it. I don't want my toast raw in the middle. Ergh, raw toast. It's the worst.
Post by: ElyDave on 06 June, 2017, 04:26:27 pm
Thick sliced bread. Why?
It's like eating a mattress.
And it's always the stuff supermarkets have in stock because no one likes it. Just stop making it. I don't want my toast raw in the middle. Ergh, raw toast. It's the worst.
and there's me thinking it was German sausage jokes that are the wurst
It's the very damp, grey one in the corner (rainy today)
Post by: contango on 17 June, 2017, 04:06:28 am
Cheap diners that have decided to restrict the number of free refills available from the soda fountain. Seriously? You want to charge me $2.39 for a 16oz cup that's mostly full of ice, when it costs you about 5c/gallon, and then tell me I can only have one refill? If anyone truly manages to drink the 50-odd gallons it would take for the restaurant to lose money they deserve an award, not being cut off. Perhaps the award would turn out to be a Darwin Award but even the fattest of the American fat folks would struggle to drink that much soda.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 June, 2017, 06:04:54 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 June, 2017, 02:16:53 am
Post by: ian on 26 June, 2017, 10:15:36 am
OK, I made the mistake of using the internet. Maple syrup pancakes rollers. Processed meat wrapped in a processed pancake. With added sugar.
Post by: contango on 27 June, 2017, 04:35:37 am
They always had the weird bastard children of sausages rolls suntanning under the heat lamp on the rollers of culinary doom in a 7-11. Though it was never clear what they'd wrapped the 'sausage' part in.
OK, I made the mistake of using the internet. Maple syrup pancakes rollers. Processed meat wrapped in a processed pancake. With added sugar.
You just have to love some of these places. The hot dogs that get put on the roller in the morning and stay there until they sell. If that means they sit there for hours, so be it.
Then you get the jugs of coffee where the establishment brews up a jug or two and it sits there on the hot plate until it sells, when they make another jug. I had the misfortune of sampling the coffee at a place advertised as "the best coffee in town" (not much of a claim, given there are only two other places in town that serve coffee, but that's another story). Having tasted it I shudder to think what the worst coffee in town must taste like. It says something when I'm uncaffeinated at the beginning of a long drive at some ungodly hour of the morning and still won't drink the coffee.
Thankfully now most of our early morning runs take us past the Sheetz. It's odd to think of a gas station selling coffee (actually here it arguably isn't) but seriously odd to think of a gas station selling coffee that's good enough you might actually want to drink it, even when it isn't the only source of caffeine within a 100 mile radius. At least it means that most of our silly-o-clock starts don't involve a lack of caffeine. I'm not good in the morning without my caffeine.
Post by: ian on 27 June, 2017, 08:53:56 am
I'd forgotten how desperately special 7-11 food is, though this (http://www.thepizzle.net/desperation-food-a-review-of-7-elevens-hot-food-items/) sums up the myriad lowlights. Even in the US there's not many vendors who can squeeze 20% of your daily sodium requirement into a single chicken wing. Get through five of those and you can cross sodium off your daily to-do list. Makes room for other stuff, like ensuring you don't fail short of your saturated fat target. And they're there to help with all those pesky requirements. And it ain't a sandwich if it doesn't have a seventeen line ingredient list, or less a list, more a chemical supply catalogue.
And loaded doritos. Basically synthetic cheese. Covered in sintered dorito. Deep fried. Perfect accompaniment to your Chili Cheese Hot Dog Roller.
Post by: fuzzy on 27 June, 2017, 09:58:15 am
The secret is to appreciate that culinary magic it ain't. Bath in the glory of food designed to hasten the day you shuffle off this mortal coil and the experience then becomes almost sexual.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 June, 2017, 10:46:57 am
1: battle cry: c'mon, you guys, I'm hungreeeeeee!
Post by: ian on 27 June, 2017, 10:50:54 am
7-11 is just sad though. It's the food of howling desolation. Processed meat food items that roll into infinity only occasionally pausing to shed a pearly tear of saturated trans fat. Tanker-size vats of concentrated high fructose corn syrup. You could just pay a man to repeatedly thump you in the pancreas to achieve the same effect.
Reminds me, I ate a Pizza Hut pizza at the weekend. I'm not sure why, it seemed like a good idea at the time as we were passing the takeaway at a benighted hour and couldn't be bothered cooking when we got home. We weren't expecting much and it failed to deliver even on that. It didn't even taste like pizza. It didn't, to be honest, taste like anything beyond stodge. Stodgy base (thin crust, fat lie), stodgy chewy cheese that might have actually been some kind of plastic, and a miserly collection of other indifferent toppings. It was a bad symphony of unpleasant textures. I'd like to say the sides improved matters, but if you like soggy potato wedges that taste like wet flour and something that might have been the deep-fried existential despair of a battery chicken staring into the void, you'd have been in heaven. It was a meal that comprised entirely of slightly different kinds of chewing.
How does such a place even exist is beyond me. We did the pizza thing elsewhere, but it's such a simple thing to make, and few things taste as good, so how the holy flying fuck can they make something so awful out of a simple concept? And why are people buying it over and over? Isn't once every thirty years too many times?
Post by: fuzzy on 28 June, 2017, 08:30:07 am
Perhaps it is nurture (or professional experience). I mean, having spent 6 years in the army and more than enough years standing in the queue at Uncles kebab van on Bridge Street after dealing with the worlds finest for the first 3 hours of a Sunday morning being engaged in a bit of 'banter' by the dregs of the evening- "Oi officer, is it really true a pregnant woman can demand to piss in you elmet? I fucking hope so!!!!" "Excuse me gentlemen, do your friend a favour, take him home before he says something that REALLY pisses me off and I wrap him up, cuff him and dump in in the back of my panda- morning Uncle, large doner with all the trimmings please" "You want chilli sauce with that mate?"- an appreciation of a wide range of culinary oddities is developed.
As a copper, I had perfected the stance- feet wide apart and a slight lean forward at the waist so that the excess grease doesn't contaminate the boots or uniform. Junk food as a stand alone food group has been a life saver on more than one occasion.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 June, 2017, 09:00:58 am
Most of us workers can 'bring a pack up from home', but I haven't seen a 'sandwich holster' on a copper's utility belt.
Post by: ian on 28 June, 2017, 01:46:28 pm
There's actually a serious point – there are places in the US now where there simply no reasonable access to food that isn't 7-11 or similar, more so if you don't have a car. So this is the only junk on the menu, like it or not.
Post by: fuzzy on 28 June, 2017, 01:59:36 pm
Dear fuzz, having spotted a group with just such a stance as you describe, it occurred to me; do the footsoldiers of our peace get a 'meal allowance'?
Most of us workers can 'bring a pack up from home', but I haven't seen a 'sandwich holster' on a copper's utility belt.
You get a meal allowance if you end up doing overtime beyond a couple of hours. State sponsored kebabs :thumbsup:
Post by: Jack Standish on 04 July, 2017, 07:07:17 am
I don't know what it is: the food, the means of cooking or the people. But pudding is disgustingly un-puddinglike these days. The only thing I can hope to get from pudding today os an aftertaste of added products. Or maybe I'm just being nostalgic for the times when I was a wee boy who loved the real food.
Post by: Jakob W on 04 July, 2017, 07:51:39 am
Post by: T42 on 04 July, 2017, 09:02:46 am
Post by: Jakob W on 04 July, 2017, 11:26:11 am
Post by: hellymedic on 04 July, 2017, 12:04:01 pm
Sainsbury's Basics syrup sponge in a tin is no more and I only buy other overpriced puds for Christmas.
Post by: citoyen on 04 July, 2017, 12:37:32 pm
the ancient art of making a good, God's honest pudding seems to be lost on people. My old lady can't make it, my folks can't make it...
Can you make it?
Post by: ian on 04 July, 2017, 12:59:41 pm
When it comes to the war, I'll be on the front lines with the savouries. Fuck you cupcake, I gotta sausage roll and I definitely won't be afraid to use it. Pasties, with me!
Post by: Basil on 04 July, 2017, 02:19:59 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 July, 2017, 03:47:34 pm
Post by: Jakob W on 04 July, 2017, 06:12:02 pm
Post by: Jurek on 04 July, 2017, 06:24:19 pm
Thanks.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 July, 2017, 07:21:07 pm
Do you know why I hate pudding? Because the ancient art of making a good, God's honest pudding seems to be lost on people. My old lady can't make it, my folks can't make it, even the restaurants that pride themselves on their pudding, like Hawksmoor (https://restaurantguru.com/Hawksmoor-London-4) and Tibits (https://restaurantguru.com/tibits-UK-London), can't actually do it. What they all make is a modern gooey substance shaped into devilish forms that pretends to have the name of pudding.
I don't know what it is: the food, the means of cooking or the people. But pudding is disgustingly un-puddinglike these days. The only thing I can hope to get from pudding today os an aftertaste of added products. Or maybe I'm just being nostalgic for the times when I was a wee boy who loved the real food.
What's your definition of pudding, then?
Post by: ian on 04 July, 2017, 07:58:09 pm
Anyway, I don't dislike cake in small amounts but it soon becomes too sweet but I generally skip dessert in favour of more starters. Savoury is where it's at. I have cunning plan for the weekend that involves a savoury snack sandwich safari. I'm making sandwiches with sausage rolls and scotch eggs. Possibly a pork pie.
And there will be crisps.
I'm quite looking forward to it.
Post by: Oaky on 04 July, 2017, 08:52:34 pm
I often hear those dreaded words when out for a group meal: "Shall we skip starters and just do mains and puddings?". It usually seems to be agreed by a majority of the diners, and so I feel unable to be the only one having a starter, thereby holding everyone else up in their quest to get to the sweet stuff.
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
Post by: SteveC on 04 July, 2017, 08:58:32 pm
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.I have a friend who has done this (not me, although I too have been tempted). He once ordered soup when everyone else was having puddings and was told it was 'disgusting' by complete stranger sitting at another table. ???
Post by: hellymedic on 04 July, 2017, 09:02:47 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 04 July, 2017, 09:38:28 pm
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...
Done that :P
Post by: Basil on 04 July, 2017, 10:33:45 pm
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Post by: Ham on 04 July, 2017, 10:45:06 pm
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.I have a friend who has done this (not me, although I too have been tempted). He once ordered soup when everyone else was having puddings and was told it was 'disgusting' by complete stranger sitting at another table. ???
FTR, that's quite normal behaviour in China, where the soup is looked on as the pinnacle of the meal.
Post by: Vernon on 04 July, 2017, 10:58:38 pm
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
I'll have _all_ the cheese, please.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 05 July, 2017, 11:13:26 am
She declared the intention of becoming vegan, along with the rest of the family, on ethical grounds. She was going to cook for us. I had no problem with that.
Only she wanted to use up the food we had first. No wasteage. That was wrong too.
Since then there has been an unending succession of meals involving beef (I don't really like beef). Home made salt beef. Roasted beef. Chinese beef. Pork. Slow roast pork. Salt pork. Gammon. Shredded pork.
More ruddy meat than I normally eat in a year. I feel like I'm a carnivore on a carnivore holiday tour. Bunged up from all the meat.
What happened to the vegan food?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 July, 2017, 02:57:12 pm
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
Post by: citoyen on 05 July, 2017, 03:21:13 pm
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
I believe it's because sugar is digested easily, so you get the quick energy hit.
Whatever the reason, I have been known to follow helly's advice on this matter occasionally. I trust her scientific good sense and audaxing experience.
Post by: hellymedic on 05 July, 2017, 03:36:00 pm
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
Both, primarily nutritional.
Distance cyclists can arrive at a control with low blood sugar and sugar is rapidly absorbed and converted to glycogen. Desserts can often be prepared more quickly than main courses.
Main course food (meat and fat) might be more slowly absorbed than a dessert (sugar, starch and some emulsified fat).
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 July, 2017, 03:58:20 pm
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 July, 2017, 04:03:29 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 05 July, 2017, 04:10:44 pm
Post by: barakta on 05 July, 2017, 04:11:40 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 05 July, 2017, 04:23:43 pm
Post by: citoyen on 05 July, 2017, 04:27:08 pm
Although I certainly didn't consider some of the desserts we were served up at school as a 'treat'.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 July, 2017, 04:32:29 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 05 July, 2017, 04:35:59 pm
Shame about boiled cabbage, it damns a decent vegetable. There are many interesting ways of cooking cabbage or even of eating it raw.
Indeed, but school dinner cabbage is in its own class of yuk!
Post by: Kim on 05 July, 2017, 06:36:31 pm
Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Very much this. I find something sweet and milky (icecream, milkshake, that sort of thing) palatable when I've just got off a bike, and it speeds up my enthusiasm for eating proper food.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 July, 2017, 08:36:33 pm
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
If I'm very hungry and there's a cake just there but I have to wait for a sarnie or something to be made, far better for me and my poor companions to eat the cake first rather than have me throw all my toys out if the pram in an attack of the hangry...
Post by: Pingu on 05 July, 2017, 10:12:03 pm
...coupled with the notion that a dessert is a treat that needs to be earned.
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat!
(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FnekcToKnmc/WHFsYaOJlUI/AAAAAAAABEE/55WrV95Hvtcxlm-KFClReNd5erw9oISmwCLcB/s1600/hammer2.jpg)
Post by: citoyen on 05 July, 2017, 11:36:11 pm
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat!
Funnily enough, that was going through my head as I wrote my post earlier.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 July, 2017, 12:35:49 pm
Yogurt is good, I find. Always keep a teaspoon or a spork in your saddlebag, rackpack or pannier.Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Very much this. I find something sweet and milky (icecream, milkshake, that sort of thing) palatable when I've just got off a bike, and it speeds up my enthusiasm for eating proper food.
Post by: hellymedic on 06 July, 2017, 01:08:14 pm
Yogurt is good, I find. Always keep a teaspoon or a spork in your saddlebag, rackpack or pannier.Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Very much this. I find something sweet and milky (icecream, milkshake, that sort of thing) palatable when I've just got off a bike, and it speeds up my enthusiasm for eating proper food.
I am fine with milky stuffs. Not all are.
Budget cold tinned rice pudding can be nice for some
of the last small spenders
Post by: runsoncake on 06 July, 2017, 04:08:54 pm
Post by: Oaky on 06 July, 2017, 04:15:19 pm
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Timings - mains tend to take longer to eat than dessert.
Besides, I quite like the idea of a starter as a savoury pudding.
Post by: Basil on 06 July, 2017, 04:41:08 pm
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
I've tried to do that. For some reason it never works. Restaurant staff just seem totally unable to get their heads around that idea.
Post by: ian on 06 July, 2017, 08:26:13 pm
Post by: TheLurker on 20 September, 2017, 06:28:26 pm
Post by: Basil on 05 October, 2017, 04:18:54 pm
Post by: essexian on 02 January, 2018, 08:25:01 am
Anyway, this one is about my beloved CBH and her misuse of "Sell by", "Use by" and "Best before" dates. Yes, she understands what they are for and what they mean but frankly, she takes their use to an extreme degree.
Take for example, a white cabbage I brought just before Christmas with a use by date of something like the 26th Dec. We had half and wrapped the rest up for later. Well yesterday was later when I went to make some coleslaw only to find that the cabbage was missing....it went in the bin earlier that day as: "It was out of date"..... :facepalm:
So, into the bin I went only to find that the cabbage was fine to eat as it was still fresh.... I think we could have left it in the fridge for another month without any major issues.... Did I use it.... nope. I was told to go out and buy a new one as its: "only 79p."
Yes, it may only be 79p but we had a perfectly usable item which did not need replacing. No wonder why many, many tons of good food go to landfill. Oh and don't get me started on my missing brie.... it was getting lovely and ripe but seems to have gone missing as well..... >:(
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 January, 2018, 10:12:01 am
Post by: ian on 02 January, 2018, 10:16:24 am
I'm not really sure why they needed to shrinkwrap a cabbage in the first place, mind.
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 02 January, 2018, 02:57:13 pm
I'm not really sure why they needed to shrinkwrap a cabbage in the first place, mind.So they could put a date sticker on it.
Post by: pcolbeck on 02 January, 2018, 04:02:45 pm
I'm not really sure why they needed to shrinkwrap a cabbage in the first place, mind.So they could put a date sticker on it.
and the bar code.
Post by: hellymedic on 03 January, 2018, 12:15:07 pm
Some things that are not quite optimally fresh can still be cooked into something useful and tasty.
My Christmas Eve Apple & suboptimal satsuma sauce was quite nice, if I say so myself...
Post by: ian on 03 January, 2018, 12:27:41 pm
Mind you, it doesn't always go right, I found some sour cream at the back of the fridge a few months back during what-can-we-have-for-tea archeological dig. I mostly disregard dates on sour cream/creme fraiche and yoghurt anyway, but this was very old. Anyway, it looked OK and there was no obvious bad smell, but I figured before I ruined my meal, I'd taste a bit.
Anyway, I can't recommend sour cream that's three months past its sell-by, not unless you want what I suspect tastes like a mouthful of Satan's luvjub.
Post by: pcolbeck on 25 February, 2018, 04:45:50 pm
The last twice I have ordered a bacon butty (one in a cafe and once in a deli) they have produced some bacon that has been part cooked and stuck it in a microwave. It comes out limp and pale and non of the fat renders out, doesn't smell right either.
A bacon butty is probably the simplest things to cook so stop screwing it up !
Post by: ian on 14 March, 2018, 09:59:25 pm
Maybe a mango, though I'm a mango ninja, but I think we all appreciate that I'm not everyone. Pomegranates are a bit annoying, there's a lot of thwack-thwacking to get the seeds out and it's a well-known fact that if you eat a bit of the white stuff your insides will fizz out and you'll die. Is it worth taking the chance? Probably not. But I do like pomegranate seeds. I can eat them in quantity and they're nice in salads (try them with feta, honest), and even to spruce up a gin and tonic (preferably an old tom, or something spicy might work against the sweetness). I think I just wrote the most middle-class sentence ever. Don't tell my mum, my pikey inheritance is at stake.
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion? Oh I know, someone will be around in a minute to say 'what about disabled people, those who have lost their arms in horrific crocodile encounters, what about them, eh, you callous and discriminatory fuckjubbin.' I mean the people in Tesco. The troll-faced ones. You've seen them. I suggest we wait for them to pick up the offending article and then push them over into the freezer and bury them in frozen ready-baked potatoes (another wtf thing, or so the Guardian tells me, though they could be messing with me, even a stoned student can nuke a spud in the microwave).
Post by: hellymedic on 14 March, 2018, 11:16:24 pm
ETA £1.10 for 400g so rather cheaper than fresh garlic and no smelly fingers or garlic press to clean.
The lazy/disabled cook.
I can't peel anything that isn't straight so we don't have swede.
Post by: rafletcher on 15 March, 2018, 05:28:31 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 March, 2018, 06:29:24 pm
Post by: ian on 16 March, 2018, 09:53:35 am
I mostly avoid mushrooms anyway, I don't trust them. I suspect the market is for people who hate washing the bloody things. I presume garlic is because of the garlicky fingers, if that sort of thing bothers you. I guess pre-chopped onions avoid direct lachrymosity. I'm seeing a theme here. I don't go to Tesco anyway, so the troll-faced denizens of that establishment are safe. Which is probably good as everyone who shops at Tesco looks like a troll.
Post by: Ashaman42 on 16 March, 2018, 10:49:45 am
Post by: ian on 16 March, 2018, 10:56:10 am
Post by: citoyen on 16 March, 2018, 10:59:26 am
I mostly avoid mushrooms anyway, I don't trust them. I suspect the market is for people who hate washing the bloody things.
Eh? Who washes mushrooms?
Post by: ian on 16 March, 2018, 11:02:07 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 March, 2018, 11:03:03 am
I mostly avoid mushrooms anyway, I don't trust them. I suspect the market is for people who hate washing the bloody things.
Eh? Who washes mushrooms?
People who don't like eating mud.
Post by: lahoski on 16 March, 2018, 12:03:22 pm
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 16 March, 2018, 12:07:31 pm
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 16 March, 2018, 12:10:27 pm
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
Yes, me. Fortunately the boyfriend is good at it, so I have a bag of frozen (yes, pre-chopped!) onions in the freezer for occasions when I'm left to fend for myself.
Post by: L CC on 16 March, 2018, 12:37:46 pm
They grow on poo.Sterilised poo. It's fiiiiine.
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 16 March, 2018, 12:40:02 pm
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
Yes, me. Fortunately the boyfriend is good at it, so I have a bag of frozen (yes, pre-chopped!) onions in the freezer for occasions when I'm left to fend for myself.
Actually, pre-chopped onions are useful for disabled people, and I guess elderly folks also. You might not be able to hold a knife firmly, but you can stir with a spoon.
Post by: T42 on 16 March, 2018, 12:55:22 pm
1 kg whole beans cost 13.18€
70g in pods cost 2.90€ = 41.43€ the kilo. :o
These Nespresso fiends pay dearly.
Post by: citoyen on 16 March, 2018, 12:55:33 pm
I have a special mushroom brush from Lakeland.
I think you've just stolen ian's title for most middle-class sentence ever.
We use a lot of spent mushroom compost in our garden - we get big bags of it from a local mushroom grower. It's potent stuff. We had a huge glut of chillies and courgettes last year.
Post by: rafletcher on 16 March, 2018, 05:20:36 pm
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
Yes, me. Fortunately the boyfriend is good at it, so I have a bag of frozen (yes, pre-chopped!) onions in the freezer for occasions when I'm left to fend for myself.
Actually, pre-chopped onions are useful for disabled people, and I guess elderly folks also. You might not be able to hold a knife firmly, but you can stir with a spoon.
Undoubtedly true, but I suspect that’s a happy accident of the convenience culture.
Post by: campagman on 16 March, 2018, 06:51:55 pm
(obviously I'd rather blind myself than go to Aldi or Lidl, good god it's probably like strolling through a Lord of Rings set)
The Morrisons and Asda near me is like the bar in Star Wars.
Post by: ian on 16 March, 2018, 09:15:16 pm
My mum worked was a till jockey in Morrisons though until she retired recently. So yes, I see your point.
Post by: hellymedic on 16 March, 2018, 10:32:43 pm
Implausibly, I've never ever been in an Asda.
My mum worked was a till jockey in Morrisons though until she retired recently. So yes, I see your point.
There's a '24 hour' ASDA within half a mile of this address.
I gave up going there when I became unable to walk the distance for 2am milk distress purchases.
Which were the only reason to visit that benighted place.
The local Tesco is closing but I seldom went there. The new Morrison's is closer than ASDA but David seldom visits. Aldi is just over a mile hence - we NEVER enter and Lidl's about ¾ mile north but just about all our provisions come from Sainsbury's online.
Post by: Kim on 17 March, 2018, 12:05:34 am
Personally, I use Aldi because it's close and good at fresh meat and generic non-food items, and you can occasionally pick up a bargain on cycling gloves, tools or thermal underwear. Sainsbury's is further away but has Lactofree products, decent veg, bigger packs of decent bogroll, proper chocolate and less wastefully sized packets of cheese. Tesco is a decent ride away up an annoying hill and has horrid smoker-infested bike parking, but has the best rice and own-brand pure orange juice, so I do a trailer mission every several weeks. There's a decent sized Asda not too far away that I never use because the logical cycling route, while flat, involves far too much Sustrans path shenanigans. The nearest Morrisons is the wrong side of the Col de Priory Road, protected on all sides by some of Birmingham's finest motorists, and generally quite expensive.
Distress purchases can be made at one of the smaller Sainsbury's or two Tescos within a few hundred metres walk. They're often useful (especially as someone pointed out the utility of self-humiliation checkouts for disposal of excess change), but more expensive.
Post by: rr on 18 March, 2018, 10:31:39 pm
Meh. They're all just different colour supermarkets. Stocking eccentricities aside, most of what they sell is the same. Of the own-brand stuff, some are good and some are bad.Aldi chocolate is much better than most of the stuff in Sainsbury's.
Personally, I use Aldi because it's close and good at fresh meat and generic non-food items, and you can occasionally pick up a bargain on cycling gloves, tools or thermal underwear. Sainsbury's is further away but has Lactofree products, decent veg, bigger packs of decent bogroll, proper chocolate and less wastefully sized packets of cheese. Tesco is a decent ride away up an annoying hill and has horrid smoker-infested bike parking, but has the best rice and own-brand pure orange juice, so I do a trailer mission every several weeks. There's a decent sized Asda not too far away that I never use because the logical cycling route, while flat, involves far too much Sustrans path shenanigans. The nearest Morrisons is the wrong side of the Col de Priory Road, protected on all sides by some of Birmingham's finest motorists, and generally quite expensive.
Distress purchases can be made at one of the smaller Sainsbury's or two Tescos within a few hundred metres walk. They're often useful (especially as someone pointed out the utility of self-humiliation checkouts for disposal of excess change), but more expensive.
Sent from my XT1562 using Tapatalk
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2018, 09:41:39 am
Back home I looked at the till receipt: 2.87 € the damned thing cost. Jesus wept.
Post by: hellymedic on 28 March, 2018, 01:11:04 pm
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2018, 02:58:16 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 28 March, 2018, 03:19:10 pm
Some food prices are quite reasonable, like Elswood Pickled Cucumbers.
Some are not.
Post by: T42 on 28 March, 2018, 03:26:18 pm
Post by: Jakob W on 29 March, 2018, 07:17:22 pm
Have you encountered food that is Kosher for Passover?
Does that differ from ordinary Kosher food? <Dredges depths of memory...> does it have ton br leaven-free as well?
Post by: hellymedic on 30 March, 2018, 04:53:34 pm
Have you encountered food that is Kosher for Passover?
Does that differ from ordinary Kosher food? <Dredges depths of memory...> does it have ton br leaven-free as well?
Leaven free, yeast-free, intact supervision to packaging trail.
A possible trace of non-kosher is acceptable year round but there is no minimum acceptable contamination level for leaven.
Passover rules are VERY strict for the orthodox.
Post by: hellymedic on 30 March, 2018, 04:55:25 pm
Post by: Jakob W on 30 March, 2018, 05:15:33 pm
A possible trace of non-kosher is acceptable year round but there is no minimum acceptable contamination level for leaven.
Passover rules are VERY strict for the orthodox.
Interesting - I did not know that.
Old Passover joak 'That family is so strict, they'll only drink water that's been passed by the Rabbi...'
;D
Post by: SteveC on 27 April, 2018, 06:37:37 pm
Post by: Tod28 on 28 April, 2018, 03:46:28 pm
atsometimesthis time of the year they are just small 'old' potatoes?
potatos are only just going into the ground due to the cold and wet.
Post by: SteveC on 28 April, 2018, 04:28:02 pm
Should go and check I suppose.
Post by: ian on 04 January, 2019, 09:10:26 pm
Of course, this extraordinary run of culinary fulfilment had to come to an end, which it did before Christmas. The sort of end that you wish was cushioned with an airbag rather than a plate of soggy food. I confess to my snobbery*, but you know the Bismarckesque sinking feeling you get when you see a pub with the ‘two meals for £5.99’ sign outside and you’re walking inside. It can’t just be me. I’m sorry, but I’m unconvinced that you can prepare and cook two decent meals for that price. You can microwave a vague semblance of life into something that fell off the back of a catering supply wagon. Or possibly the bits left over from Frankenstein’s monster. The stuff that aspires to be turkey twizzlers yet somehow still underachieves. Turkey twizzlers look down on it like disappointed parents. Shaking their little breaded heads.
But anyway, I was visiting my parents, and that was dinner and my sister was paying, and let’s say my family took the fine out of dining. Took it outside, to the back alley, and gave it a good going over. A steak cooked in their house is something you cry over. It’s frankly the only way to moisturise it enough to dare to attempt to eat it. My entire adolescence was spent chewing the same mouthful of steak. I have the sort of jaw musculature that would let me eat an airliner. The benefit being an airliner would have been more digestible. There's stuff in my lower intestine that dates back to the 1980s. Even Gwyneth Paltrow and a riot-control cannon couldn’t get it out.
Now, sense and sensibility would suggest going for a menu staple like the fish and chips or a pie. Things that don’t eagerly court kitchen calamity, like dating a recently released serial killer in a suishi restaurant. But alas, giddy on two pints of Punk IPA, I figured a more carefree attitude to the menu was required. Mexican chicken. Yes! Full of the flavours of Mexico. I’ve been to Mexico. I’ve eaten tacos in the back of an LAPD squad car. What can go wrong? I don’t even pause to think that ‘Mexican chicken’ may be some kind of euphemism for cat. Latterly I came to wish it was. Braised cat would have been an improvement of sorts.
Firstly, I should have realised that Mexico isn’t in the East Midlands. Secondly I don’t think anyone involved in the preparation was familiar with any concept of Mexico. Not even the famous Mexican state of Taco Bellesco. Now I wasn’t even reaching for authenticity here, I figured some spicy chicken on rice. Just grill some chicken, dump half a bottle of Frank’s sauce on it, job done. The was one meal to be cooked on gas mark expectations low.
But before we get to that. The starter. Chicken wings. Now I’ve eaten buffalo chicken wings in Buffalo. In all the places that have claimed to invent them (everywhere that has buffalo wings on the menu in Buffalo, trust me, and that’s everywhere in Buffalo). Sufficed to say, in the same way Neo knows kung fu, I know chicken wings. Now, I don’t wish to sound like an expert in both chicken wings and avian anatomy, but bird wings normally contain bones. I’m sure of this. These wings notably didn’t contain bones. I did bravely query this. Boneless wings, apparently. That didn’t look like wings. I mean, they could have at least tried to look like something other than disappointing penises that had been in a road accident. OK, boneless wings were probably worse for the chicken. It explains the entire inability to fly. Secondarily was that they didn’t taste like chicken wings. They tasted like something that had been fried the week before and forgotten. I really didn’t want to have to be one to remember them. I got my Frank’s sauce though. It would have been better if I’d drunk it neat from the bottle, like I do at home. I should have opted for the comforting anatomical inexactitude of chicken fingers.
The main course. Now, I’m already limboing under the bar of low expectation. But what I presented with defied rational explanation. This was the X-Files section of the menu. A burial mound of rice atop which sat precisely three pallid objects. The middle of the three had a curious expectoration splashed across it like the cook had developed a savage nosebleed while arranging the platter of despair. I figure that if you popped over to David Cronenberg’s house for dinner, he’d serve something like this. What were they? Albino kidneys? Distantly vivisected boneless rats? They were things to be tentatively poked, not eaten. But everyone else is eating. I cut a small sample for forensic analysis. It’s chicken Jim, but not was we know it. I know a fair bit about cooking chicken, but I’ve never served it embalmed. I guess they’d just dumped three pre-cooked chicken breasts on my plate. It was like a gangland body drop. I think they’re supposed to at least introduce them to a pan or a grill. The kitchen had swiped left on these. If the rice hillock was about as warm as the last ice age. They’d chopped some onion and pepper and added it raw for colour. Possible none of it had been cooked. I was looking at entropy. Sous vide for the infinitely patient. And the sauce. It was mere dribble of what I assume was chilli con carne salvaged from someone else’s meal. Hard to say as the carne had long gone. I’d have said it wasn’t possible to make a dish of embalmed chicken worse, but they laid out the evidence in front of me.
Now, at this point I would have normally overriden any vestige of British non-scene making and sent the entire meal back but everyone is now looking at me. “Oh is that nice?” they ask. I realise a trap has been sprung. I can’t make a scene. Instead I nod like a man asked to choose his favourite noose to be hanged with and resort to pushing bits of embalmed chicken around the plate, circumnavigating rice mountain, leaving bloody contrails, like a dog with worms. I think I managed two small mouthfuls before I declared that the ‘starter had really filled me up.’ It was a marginally better escape plan than pretending to die at the table. Probably good I didn’t, they’d probably just embalm and serve me up too.
At least the chap in the Wicker Man got cooked.
*OK, some value of snobbery. I eat Monster Munch sandwiches, and not just for breakfast.
Post by: Ham on 05 January, 2019, 10:22:30 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 January, 2019, 10:53:45 am
This is just one of the reasons why I never have a chicken dish when eating out.
Post by: T42 on 05 January, 2019, 01:26:11 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 January, 2019, 01:51:26 pm
https://www.bicbim.co.uk/food/is-there-really-any-difference-with-organic-chicken-and-non-organic-chicken
Post by: T42 on 05 January, 2019, 03:27:58 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 05 January, 2019, 03:53:53 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 05 January, 2019, 09:36:43 pm
Gaaah, chicken breast! Why does everyone use chicken breast for everything? It's the most tasteless part of the bird. Chicken thighs, every time.
This is just one of the reasons why I never have a chicken dish when eating out.
Breast is OK in Chinese or Indian dishes if in loads of sauce after lengthy marination but I'm not really fond of it.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 January, 2019, 10:50:54 pm
Or do like three or four of our neighbours and raise your own.Ha, not in my postage stamp of garden...
Post by: T42 on 06 January, 2019, 08:36:43 am
Not something I'd care to do, though. Who raises chickens raises chicken manure.
Post by: ian on 06 January, 2019, 05:52:50 pm
Gaaah, chicken breast! Why does everyone use chicken breast for everything? It's the most tasteless part of the bird. Chicken thighs, every time.
This is just one of the reasons why I never have a chicken dish when eating out.
I'll usually use the free-range organic thighs, generic chicken breasts only taste of suffering.
The weird thing in the case above was even once identified as suspected chicken it had a peculiar rubbery texture I'd never encountered in chicken before, as though it was indeed the rubber chicken. I'm not joking when I say the only time I've encountered flesh like was in my Anatomy 0101 course when we first poked a cadaver (and believe me, they don't give the fresh ones to first-year medical students). Everything about that meal was off from the chicken à la formaldehyde to the pile of waiting Bacillus cereus it had laid out for necropsy on. The whole thing was basically a Hell-ish version of Instagram plating. And why were there three? There's only one of me, I can't think why I'd need basically 1.5 chickens in my meal.
The worst thing though was that I really want to send it back and make a fuss because frankly it wouldn't have been acceptable as a Friday night kebab in the worst parts of Hell. I've lived in the US for long enough to abrade away some of my British need to avoid any kind of scene, but I couldn't, so I had to pretend. And it was painful. I also wanted to take a picture and send it to my wife. Someone should have got some pleasure from my suffering.
It didn't get a lot better the day after when we went to Frankie & Benny's at one of those ubiquitous 'leisure parks' that pock provincial Britain (even vague Italian is pushing my parent's ethnic food boundaries, neither will eat pasta). You'd think a bacon and avocado salad would be a safe bet. Actually, you wouldn't, but I evidently did. Lettuce dressed in its own distress. I swear it wilted more each time I glanced at it. Some mush that had long since given up trying to be be avocado. It had even given up with green and settled for being some kind of troubling slime that looked as though it was trying to ooze away to a better restaurant. The small amount of bacon that had reluctantly turned up to grace a plate that cost over £12 was flabby and undercooked. That was it. There might have been a tomato though its lawyers have asked that its name be omitted from the credits.
The sad thing is that it's such an easy meal. There's no real cooking involved, it just needs fresh ingredient and basic ktichen skills. Slice and peel a ripe avocado into suitable chunks, crisp some bacon, add both to salad and toss with dressing (preferably a dressing that doesn't seem to be two parts gorilla glue to one part de-icer). It's a few minutes work in the kitchen.
Post by: ian on 06 January, 2019, 07:09:53 pm
Ian, I take my hat off to you. That is some of your best work. Boneless chicken wings are your muse.
I am actually quite angry mostly because for the price you could get (and should expect) decent food cooked and served by people who give a damn* and have a smidgeon of pride in what they do. The worst tasting part of it all was the cynicism and the knowledge that my money was rewarding some faceless corporation that truly doesn't give a shit what their businesses serve provided it adds to a percentage on a spreadsheet. That people have been conned into thinking such a mediocre splattering of over-priced, over-processed food is worthy of their cash. And all this is at the expense of actual independent restaurants that would care about serving you good food.
I mostly avoid chain restaurants and pubs, but I think I'll make it an absolute rule. I'd suggest you all do too.
*the one saving grace was that the service was actually very good.
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 06 January, 2019, 07:46:48 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 January, 2019, 07:49:16 pm
OMFG. They are a thing http://www.kitchme.com/recipes/crispy-boneless-buffalo-chicken-wingsFake food! Buffalo, but it's not buffalo. Chicken, probably but you can't be sure. Wings, but no, it's breast. Boneless, because don't have skeletons.
Okay, I can just about accept that they're called Buffalo wings because they were invented in Buffalo, but if that's the case where or what does buffalo mozzarella come from? Chicken milk?
Post by: hellymedic on 06 January, 2019, 09:10:36 pm
I've only eaten my chickens once and they were a couple of years old and layers. They were a tad (as in boot leather) tough once (mistakenly) roasted. They don't call them broilers for nothing!
Boilers are NOT broilers!
Spent laying fowl need HOURS boiling. This produces good, if initially fatty, chicken soup. (Jewish panacea)
[ETA] The remaining flesh is somewhat dull and tasteless. It is the stuff of pies, cheap curries and stews etc. I didn't like it as a kid and I don't think it's normally sold raw in supermarkets. I suspect it's mostly an ingredient for manufactured food for humans and pets.
Broiling is the Transpondian term for roasting.
Roasting fowl are usually immature (18 week) males. They have soft flesh and the bone ends separate through the growth plates after cooking.
Post by: fuzzy on 07 January, 2019, 12:05:15 am
I have a question however. WTAF were you doing in the back of an LAPD sqaud car (apart from eating tacos)?
If, for some unfathomable (or very fathomable) reason it was a legitimate case, how the fuck did you persuade them to release you?
Post by: ian on 07 January, 2019, 09:20:55 am
quality work Ian. I feel for you, I really do.
I have a question however. WTAF were you doing in the back of an LAPD sqaud car (apart from eating tacos)?
If, for some unfathomable (or very fathomable) reason it was a legitimate case, how the fuck did you persuade them to release you?
Sadly, my reputation is untarnished, a friend of mine was in the LAPD, so thought it would be fun to give us a tour from one of his squad cars. So we got perp walked out of the precinct, hand-on-the-head as we got in the car, the works. Then we got a tour of the bits of LA that aren't on the tourist trail and ended up eating street food with a local gang in that curious detente that hardened criminals and the local PD have over exceedingly good Mexican food.
Post by: Torslanda on 08 January, 2019, 12:57:19 pm
<We're not worthy!>
Post by: T42 on 08 January, 2019, 01:22:39 pm
Post by: ian on 08 January, 2019, 02:31:18 pm
I'm trying to think of some other bad meals I've had. To be honest, a lot of eating out has become a bit 'meh' unless you go upmarket and frankly I'm a downmarket kind of guy. I'm certainly not doing chains any more, I'm Johnny Awkward from now on. F&B was a particularly grim experience (I've never been to TGIFs, though I have been to a Hard Rock Cafe and I'm repressing the memory, trust me it would take a therapist with the pneumatic drill to unearth that particular trauma). The pub was a Greene King, and having once had the misfortune to taste their IPA, a fluid that I can only assume was micturated by incontinent baboons that have forced to drink excessive quantities of dirty dishwater, I shouldn't have been surprised.
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
Post by: Jakob W on 08 January, 2019, 04:24:36 pm
I've only ever been to a Frankie and Bennie's once, for a colleague's leaving lunch, and it was actually surprisingly ok - I was expecting it to be terrible and it was ok. I do like the fact that the top TripAdvisor review for my local F&B simply says 'an expensive way to get gastroenteritis'.
Post by: citoyen on 08 January, 2019, 05:04:02 pm
No, I've never eaten in either - and I have no intention of ever doing so.
Wetherspoons at least has the advantage that the prices genuinely correspond to the quality of the food, and it doesn't pretend to be something it isn't.
Post by: barakta on 08 January, 2019, 05:53:59 pm
Post by: SteveC on 08 January, 2019, 06:23:01 pm
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
Post by: Jurek on 08 January, 2019, 06:30:55 pm
I remember as a young thing (late 1970s) being taken to a local food emporium in Maidstone called the Dixieland Diner. This was in the days before even McDonald's was common on the high street and authentic American restaurants still seemed quite exotic. My memories of the actual food are too dim and distant to be reliable but I bet that even in those culinarily unenlightened times it was better than you'd get from the likes of TGIF or F&B these days.
No, I've never eaten in either - and I have no intention of ever doing so.
Wetherspoons at least has the advantage that the prices genuinely correspond to the quality of the food, and it doesn't pretend to be something it isn't.
My bold.
I consider that to be a very acute observation.
Post by: ian on 08 January, 2019, 07:06:06 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 January, 2019, 08:36:33 pm
(Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)That's curious, FiL had a Wartburg and that had really comfy suspension. The 2-stroke 3-cylinder engine produced a great deal of noise and smoke for very little forward motion and the body of the car was falling to pieces, but the suspension was great.
Quote
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.I have been to one, I seem to vaguely remember, at some sort of cousin-do. Can't remember the food. Have been to Hard Rock Cafe in Bangalore because someone wanted to be trendy but never to a Frankie and Benny's. The fact they always seem to be situated in shopping centres next to Pets at Home and Halfords is offputting enough.
Post by: ian on 08 January, 2019, 08:42:52 pm
I’m sure all the food comes directly from catering suppliers ready to be mercilessly tipped in the fryer, or put in the microwave or oven by someone on minimum wage. According to the internet, the same company also owns Garfunkel’s, the hellish fate of unwary, hungry air travellers. I confess I didn’t know Garfunkel’s had escaped the security cordon of airport terminals, which is a bit like learning that smallpox is being let out on day-release from Porton Down. Airport terminals are awful places to be anything, but they’re worse if you’re hungry They’re the only environment in which a Sbarro can survive. And those weird wok places with the trays of distressed oriental food that has been there sweating since the Ming Dynasty. US domestic terminals are the worst for this. They're the places fast food franchises have traditionally gone to die.
I’ve been to a F&B before, also with my parents (honestly, where the fuck else are we to go, they won’t eat anything that isn’t an overcooked steak or fish and chips). I don’t remember the food, but the trip was enlivened by my dad inadvertently eating a piece of rocket that had somehow sabotaged his fish and chips.
The also own Chiquito, a restaurant that actually tried to kill me (our entire university department, in fact), with the most awful case of food poisoning I’ve ever experienced. The only worse restaurant outcomes I can think of would have been liberally seasoned with novichok. I spent long enough the bathroom after that to have learned Mandarin. Though mostly I was focused on trying to keep my curdling internal organs on the inside. Twenty-plus years later my arse pipe still clenches reflexively when I think of that evening and the horrors it contained.
Wetherspoons is, I suppose, an avenue to grim calorific satiation. They might have a beer that’s drinkable whereas the competition would offer cooking lager and a bag of out-of-date crisps or be the sort of place that offer’s you a microtomed sliver of ‘artisan charcuterie pie’ for £14. I confess to staggering into a local one after a long hike, all these places thrive on convenience and indecision. The main thing that made me stop was Tim Martin being a cunt. He’s welcome to his opinions, but I don’t want them served up as an unsavoury side to my lukewarm pie. They did save us when we bought our first house as we’d neglected to secure an oven or even a semblance of kitchen that you’d want to spend time in and the only alternative was the sort of pub you’d cross the road to avoid. OK, you’d move to the next town to avoid, but London, and hey, it’s a house and we were debuting as underpaid mortgage slaves (and that next town was Lewisham). On the plus side you could buy jerk chicken and a side of hash from the Jamaican chap under the train bridge. He’s now been gentrified into oblivion, of course. (In other matters, and a symptom of modern times) some chap approached me in Herne Hill at the weekend and handed me his business card – this enterprising fella was offering marijuana home deliveries, so eat – or rather smoke – that Deliveroo.
Wagamama, not the worst, but it’s Asian food for people who aren’t sure if they like Asian food. It used to be OK as a safe bet but the last time I went (to the one opposite Fairfield Halls in Croydon, your dining options are pretty limited after 10pm in Croydon, come to think of it, they’re not exactly good before 10pm) it was basically a squabble of noodles that seemed to have drowned in a bowl of tepid stock and The Curry That Said ‘Meh.’ Not been since as they’re refurbing FH (I liked the 70s vibe). Basically any generic mall noodle bar in the far-east will do better and for quarter of the price. Or for practicality, go to one of the little Japanese places the dot the London suburbs, you’ll get better for half the price and have twice the fun.
Pizza Express. The put the average in pizza, the sort of place that says ‘I can’t be bothered’ in only a slightly less emphatic way than pissing yourself says you can’t be bothered getting up and going to the loo. It’s inoffensive pizza and its infinitely better than Pizza Hut because that’s not even difficult or, for that matter, possible to be worse (I think I’ve already ranted about the cheese frisbee we got from PH the other year). Or the sugary sludge spread on cardboard that Dominos purvey. Although I can only say this because I know Sbarro have been contained. But if Garfunkel’s has escaped, perhaps I should be wary… There’s a comforting sense of ennui to be had at Pizza Express, they’re the lift muzak of eating out, culinary smooth jazz, which just makes the gut punch of the bill more brutal than being hit by a car-sized doughball.
Nandos. I’ve eaten there several times and to be honest, I’m not sure why, because it really isn’t very good. Once you’ve got past the quirky ordering system (just shy of giving you an apron and the minimum wage and asking you to wait your own table), well, it’s just like any other chicken restaurant. Of course, there’s the phrase ‘cheeky nandos’ usually uttered by the sort of person who calls themselves ‘Mr Banty McBantface’ and induces sane people into perfectly reasonable murderous rages that any judge would forgive. But yeah, chunks of dull industrial chicken slathered with sauce which they call a marinade, though it doesn’t actually appear to have marinaded the chicken in any meaningful way, and a series of sides that have been under a heatlamp long enough to have caught a tan. If it was cheap and cheerful it might be OK, but it’s neither. It’s also now globally ubiquitous and everyone insists on taking you there because ‘everyone likes Nandos.’ It’s less of a restaurant and more of psychiatric condition, I swear its popularity must be spread by chemtrails.
Oh and all those ‘gourmet’ burger places like Byrons that basically serve the same dull, overcooked meat sandwich with a side of faceless corporation sauce, yours for £12. Factory-produced burgers slapped on a grill for an absolutely non-negotiable period of time.
We want cooking!
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 January, 2019, 08:53:28 pm
Post by: ian on 08 January, 2019, 09:33:45 pm
(Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)That's curious, FiL had a Wartburg and that had really comfy suspension. The 2-stroke 3-cylinder engine produced a great deal of noise and smoke for very little forward motion and the body of the car was falling to pieces, but the suspension was great.
I only took a ride in one, mostly so I could say I had, it must have dated back to the early days of the Derg. They were generally in good nick though. The roads, typically less so. As is common in African capitals, they start building things and don't finish them, or the endpoint remains some indeterminate point in the future.
I forgot in my earlier commentary to mention Wahaca. The food is OK if a bit pretentious, but the service has been weird. The first one we went to was in Soho some years ago when it was a fairly new thing. We were lateish arriving but they took down our name and gave us a buzzer and off we went to wait in the bar (don't get me going on reservationless restaurants). Time passed and about 10.45pm, we were a bit, erm, they look like they're getting ready to start closing up. Oh, sorry, they said, we're closing when we mentioned this to them. So basically, they took our details and sat us in the bar, and then didn't bother to give us any food or even comp our bar bill until we complained to head office.
Several years later, when we'd finally let that slide (we're British and we may be reluctant to complain, but we'll god knows, we know how to sustain a grudge) and tried the one in Waterloo before a visit to the Old Vic. Half empty. Oh, sorry no tables, declares the maitre d'. Apparently, it wasn't possible with the number of wait-staff to serve any more tables, even though they were mostly standing around. Perhaps we're on a list.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 January, 2019, 10:19:26 pm
Post by: barakta on 08 January, 2019, 11:06:45 pm
Never again.
Post by: hellymedic on 08 January, 2019, 11:35:44 pm
Noisy
Tiny portions: I left HUNGRY and I'm not a big eater.
Generally poor VFM.
David has always hated Nando's. We had a laughably disastrous first date there. The relationship survived despite this but Nando's has been on his AVOID list since.
Post by: Jaded on 08 January, 2019, 11:57:06 pm
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
I’m pretty sure they started here over thirty years ago, (remembering a colleague going to one and then trying to fit than in timelinewise)
Post by: Hot Flatus on 09 January, 2019, 06:08:32 am
I'm struggling to think of any chain restaurant that prepares it's own food in house, and the only one I can think of is Yo Sushi.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 10:23:57 am
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
I’m pretty sure they started here over thirty years ago, (remembering a colleague going to one and then trying to fit than in timelinewise)
Apparently, the TGIF 'concept' was founded as a singles bar on the Upper East Side in 1965 (thank you, internet). Of course, like everything, now owned by men with spreadsheets. The decor was supposed to be welcoming to the sensitive young ladies of the era. Not sure how they got from singles to a place that keeps people hostage and feeds their children sugar till they bounce off the windows like they're trapped in a big bingo ball machine.
I can't say I'm enticed, TGIF sounds like it's some kind of macabre manufactured cheer machine that makes me want to shout BUT IT'S FUCKING WEDNESDAY. I suppose back when it was a singles bar, if you got lucky, it could be fucking any day.
It can't be worse the Hard Rock Cafe. At least that wasn't disappointing, it's precisely what you expect, like they titrated despondency. Overdone catering fayre sinking slowly into its own swamp of sticky sauce while superannuated Hollywood stars gurn at you from the walls. Actually, I've made a horrid mistake, that's Planet Hollywood. I think HRC has guitars on the wall, but is otherwise identical. This means I must have been in an HRC and PH. The shame.
I confess I don't get the concept. I was reminded the other day of a short-lived lookalike venture, the Fashion Cafe, the same theme really, but instead of gurning Hollywood or plastic guitars, it was sponsored by everyone's favourite size zero supermodels, which suggested that perhaps the only thing underdone on the menu was the concept.
Is Angus Steakhouse still going, those little goldfish bowls of tourists in central London? I think when you've lived in London for a while you learn to edit them from your sensorium, they're only visible to tourists. If I recall, AA Gill once likened one of their steaks to eating 'old Enoch Powell speeches.'
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2019, 10:43:02 am
I didn't notice, but it lacked inner door handles for obvious reasons. This was some time ago so an old school Crown Vic, LAPD probably cruise around in SUVs and armoured personnel carriers these days. OK, they do have quite a few bicycle police down in Santa Monica/Venice. I suspect they'd be less keen to cycle around South Central. Quite a few of the older taxis in US cities are ex-police Crown Vics. (Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)
I had a ride in the back of a Nevada Highway Patrol Crown Vic a few years ago and had to lounge sideways acriss the seat as the armour plating to stop perps knifecriming The Law left about as much legroom as you'd get in an Issigonis Mini. They had a brief flirtation with Dodge Chargers after that but now have Ford SUV things. Our mate The Sarge complains about them being limited to 130 mph ;D
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 10:48:47 am
I didn't notice, but it lacked inner door handles for obvious reasons. This was some time ago so an old school Crown Vic, LAPD probably cruise around in SUVs and armoured personnel carriers these days. OK, they do have quite a few bicycle police down in Santa Monica/Venice. I suspect they'd be less keen to cycle around South Central. Quite a few of the older taxis in US cities are ex-police Crown Vics. (Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)
I had a ride in the back of a Nevada Highway Patrol Crown Vic a few years ago and had to lounge sideways acriss the seat as the armour plating to stop perps knifecriming The Law left about as much legroom as you'd get in an Issigonis Mini. They had a brief flirtation with Dodge Chargers after that but now have Ford SUV things. Our mate The Sarge complains about them being limited to 130 mph ;D
You can recreate this experience in a Philadelphia taxi, they're still often unreformatted ex-police Crown Vics with the consequent zero leg room.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2019, 10:53:31 am
"Mr Wilson?"
"???"
"You're not Mr Wilson?"
"No."
"Oh. I'm looking for Mr Wilson, who has a greeny-blue rucksack. Well, if you're heading to Nelson, I might as well give you a lift anyway."
Mr Wilson was, it tuned out, a missing person, not a crim on the lam. I'm afraid I don't remember any details of the car or even whether I sat in the back or the front.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2019, 10:55:40 am
It can't be worse the Hard Rock Cafe. At least that wasn't disappointing, it's precisely what you expect, like they titrated despondency. Overdone catering fayre sinking slowly into its own swamp of sticky sauce while superannuated Hollywood stars gurn at you from the walls. Actually, I've made a horrid mistake, that's Planet Hollywood. I think HRC has guitars on the wall, but is otherwise identical. This means I must have been in an HRC and PH. The shame.Yes. Or do I mean no? I mean, when I said earlier I'd been to Hard Rock Cafe in Bangalore, I later had a moment's doubt as to whether it had not in fact been Planet Hollywood. Google suggests there's only one Planet Hollywood in all India and it's in Goa, so it must have been Hard Rock Cafe.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 11:10:38 am
Before I judge too harshly, I was discovered gazing wistfully at the Pot Noodle selection in the Coop at the weekend. And not only have made a sandwich out of two slices of bread and a potato waffle, but I've gone above and beyond, and made a sandwich out of potato waffles with cheese and ham between them, which to be honest, ought to be on any menu.
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Post by: rafletcher on 09 January, 2019, 11:46:57 am
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
I’m pretty sure they started here over thirty years ago, (remembering a colleague going to one and then trying to fit than in timelinewise)
About that, maybe a bit before. I was working for a company in Stratford (up)on Avon - those who live there will probably remember IDC on Timothy's Bridge Road - and we got the joy of outfitting the third (I think) UK outlet. I think the first may have been Covent Garden, the second on the Hagley Road in Brum, where we went for design inspiration.
The USP was that the internal layouts and decor (Tiffany lampshades, rowing 8's through walls, enameled advertising boards etc. etc.) were meant to be as close to identical in each outlet, so we pored over photos from the US versions in order to create a UK pastiche, as well as checking out the Brum branch. I think we only ever got the one contract from them.
We only ate there once as we were usually in before service. What we did witness was the "team building" exercises they had every day, with the
As Ian says, the enforced jollity and "character" were heinous.
Post by: citoyen on 09 January, 2019, 12:35:47 pm
Wagamama, not the worst, but it’s Asian food for people who aren’t sure if they like Asian food. It used to be OK as a safe bet but the last time I went (to the one opposite Fairfield Halls in Croydon, your dining options are pretty limited after 10pm in Croydon, come to think of it, they’re not exactly good before 10pm) it was basically a squabble of noodles that seemed to have drowned in a bowl of tepid stock and The Curry That Said ‘Meh.’ Not been since as they’re refurbing FH (I liked the 70s vibe). Basically any generic mall noodle bar in the far-east will do better and for quarter of the price. Or for practicality, go to one of the little Japanese places the dot the London suburbs, you’ll get better for half the price and have twice the fun.
I remember the original Wagamama in Lexington Street - I used to go there when it was the only Wagamama and still had novelty value. Of course, even then there were more authentic cafés in the back streets of Soho where you could get decent Japanese food cheaply. I'd still far rather eat at Wagamama than F&B's or TGIF but I haven't been in one for a while so it may have deteriorated. I make my own ersatz katsu curry these days so I don't need to go to Wagamama for the faux-Japanese experience.
My first experience of kaiten sushi (the conveyor belt thing) was a place called Kulu Kulu in Brewer Street, which was already old news by the time the first Yo Sushi opened and still a) much better, and b) much cheaper than Yo Sushi, which is shit.
As for Garfunkel's... back around 2000 I had to entertain a couple of friends who were visiting from Warrington. London must have seemed unbearably glamorous to them. They were hungry after a hard day's sightseeing and suggested we all went to a Garfunkel's - or maybe it was Aberdeen Angus Steakhouse. I forget. Either way, I tried to stifle my horror at the thought and suggested instead a place I knew on Old Compton Street called Pollo - not exactly posh, to say the least, but you could get passable plates of basic Italian food cooked by actual Italians, with main courses around the £3 mark. They were flabbergasted that it was possible to eat that cheaply anywhere in London - especially as the food was certainly no worse than anything you'd get from the mainstream chains for five times the price. I've still never set food inside a Garfunkel's and intend to keep it that way. Alas, Pollo is long gone - as is the Stockpot, another venerable Soho institution where real people could afford to eat. I think they were all priced out by exorbitant rents when Soho de-sleazified itself (won't go so far as to say it gentrified) so now only the big chains can afford to set up shop there. Which is a great shame.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 01:39:11 pm
Nandos. Never been. Never gonna.
To be fair, and to prove I'm not the insufferable snob that I so obviously am, Nandos isn't bad per se. They actually grill the chicken rather than merely reheat. There's at least a whiff of culinary industry that goes beyond simply snipping open vacuum packs. If you can put aside the fact that it's probably miserably raised factory chicken (to be honest, I can't these days), it's a recognizable food. The sauce is probably the saving grace. It's daubed liberally on the outside of the chicken as they grill, but none of it gets inside, it just slithers off with the skin, so really you end up dissecting the chicken and pouring on more sauce. Effectively, it's really a sauce restaurant, the chicken is just the serving mechanism. The chicken wings have actual bones which really, really should the expectation when ordering chicken wings. Oh the whole though, I don't think anyone in the UK should be allowed to do chicken wings, the result is generally as flightless as the bird itself. It needs meaty wings, the sort that look like they're from chickens raised in a gym on steroids and protein shakes, and they have to be soaked in the twice as much sauce as you'd ever believe they'd need (ideally equal parts butter and Frank's hot sauce, trust me on this). It's the kind of excess that only Americans can really manage.
My Damascene dining moment came with the bill a while back when I got the bill for a lunch for four which was the better part of £80 for not very much. The portions are small, a half dozen small chicken wings, a quarter of a modest-sized chicken, a breast in a single pitta, the sides come in rationed little pots. Now I'm not a fan of epic portion sizes, but I can't say I was full. For £80, even given a couple of beers, that's a lot for what is basically fast food chicken. You can eat a lot better for less, and for a small uptick, you can eat lunch in a proper restaurant.
Post by: rafletcher on 09 January, 2019, 01:47:00 pm
Post by: Jaded on 09 January, 2019, 01:50:30 pm
The most memorable thing was that it had a Terminator in the lobby.
Post by: citoyen on 09 January, 2019, 01:51:28 pm
The sauce is probably the saving grace. It's daubed liberally on the outside of the chicken as they grill, but none of it gets inside, it just slithers off with the skin, so really you end up dissecting the chicken and pouring on more sauce. Effectively, it's really a sauce restaurant, the chicken is just the serving mechanism.
Which is fine, really, because the sauce is pretty much the best thing about Nando's.
Again, I haven't been to an actual Nando's for a while - I balk at paying those prices for what is essentially a middle-class KFC - but I do keep a stock of Nando's extra hot peri-peri sauce in the pantry at home (you can get huge bottles of the stuff from Tesco for about £4).
Post by: citoyen on 09 January, 2019, 01:51:52 pm
Pretty sure I went to a Planet Hollywood in LA. It’s the kind of thing you do when you are researching fastish food restaurants.
The most memorable thing was that it had a Terminator in the lobby.
Planet Hollywood is another place I've never eaten in. Why would you? I don't get it.
Having a Terminator in the lobby is pretty cool, though.
Post by: Nothereforafasttime on 09 January, 2019, 01:56:12 pm
I'd rather have a Mchicken Sandwich and that's saying something. Presentation 1/10, taste 3/10.
It's the fact that from what I could see it's literally just a bun with a piece of chicken inbetween....
Post by: Jakob W on 09 January, 2019, 03:11:15 pm
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 03:59:46 pm
I've always dreamed of giving Chicken Cottage and makeover and turning it into Chateau Poulet – a destination chicken restaurant. These are the idle thoughts that fill my mind.
I totally forgot that I had a McDonalds chicken-y thing in Jakarta earlier this year. I'm not sure what it was though, some Indonesian special they had. I liked it.
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 January, 2019, 04:29:41 pm
Planet Hollywood is another place I've never eaten in. Why would you? I don't get it.
Because "its got a genuine atmosphere" according to the team leader of a bunch of datacentre guys I was with in New Orleans once as he insisted we all went there. Its OK just expensive and has no atmosphere at all, like a more expensive McDonalds.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 04:41:25 pm
Post by: citoyen on 09 January, 2019, 05:47:53 pm
What puzzles me a bit is why Carribean food never took off in the UK in the same way as Nandos, a South African import – proper jerk chicken off the bbq is fantastic and easily a match. It always seems a bit of an omission.
Good point. Reggae Reggae sauce is popular, and Levi Roots does have one restaurant* but it doesn't appear to have become a chain/franchise yet.
The food was always the best bit about Notting Hill Carnival.
*It's not a restaurant, it's a Rastaraunt! (https://caribbeansmokehouse.com/about/)
Post by: Jaded on 09 January, 2019, 05:54:37 pm
Or Nandos made better offers to the landlords...
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 06:18:26 pm
My neighbour opined that white people are too scared to go into the takeaways, which might have some mileage. There used to be a place next to Norwood Junction station where they cooked on an oil-drum BBQ indoors. It unsurprisingly burnt down. Probably best I didn't go in that one.
I don't think British people were familiar with any kind of spice till about 1986. My parents still haven't graduated beyond white pepper and my mother makes an 'eeugh' noise every time she sees olive oil being used for cooking (as everyone knows, olive oil is for ears).
Post by: Jurek on 09 January, 2019, 06:24:20 pm
However, the temptation is strong to sample the offerings of this place (https://www.londoncaribbeaneatery.co.uk) which is 50m from where I work - albeit at over twice the price which the works canteen churns out - I have my doubts whether it is twice as good.
Must. Try.
Post by: citoyen on 09 January, 2019, 07:08:10 pm
even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
Of course, the version of those cuisines you find on the UK high street is very much an anglicised hybrid.
Caribbean cooking is itself a hybrid of many different cultural influences with no coherent lineage, which might be part of the reason it hasn’t established a mainstream presence over here. But I’m just guessing.
You might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 07:38:47 pm
Post by: Jurek on 09 January, 2019, 07:45:16 pm
even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
Of course, the version of those cuisines you find on the UK high street is very much an anglicised hybrid.
Caribbean cooking is itself a hybrid of many different cultural influences with no coherent lineage, which might be part of the reason it hasn’t established a mainstream presence over here. But I’m just guessing.
You might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.
When's the last time you heard anyone say "Let's go out for a German" ?
Hmmmm?
ETA
Italian? Yes.
Spanish? Yes.
French? Yes.
Portugese? Yes.
Polish? Yes.
German? Not so much.
Post by: hellymedic on 09 January, 2019, 07:55:54 pm
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 07:58:47 pm
Well, other than the French, who insist on ruining non-French food.
Post by: Gattopardo on 09 January, 2019, 08:10:01 pm
I suppose all those international cuisines are distinctive, they have a signature. German is a bit like British, no real hook. Everyone knows what a Thai or Chinese dish is, authentic or not.
Well, other than the French, who insist on ruining non-French food.
German sausage laws, great sausages.
Post by: Pingu on 09 January, 2019, 08:15:16 pm
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Mrs P has had experience with Norwegian pizza. It looked rather oily in her pics of it.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 January, 2019, 08:39:33 pm
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Mrs P has had experience with Norwegian pizza. It looked rather oily in her pics of it.
Professor Larrington was heard to wax lyrical about the reindeer pizza she had on, or en route to, Svalbard a couple of years ago.
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2019, 08:47:49 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 09 January, 2019, 09:52:47 pm
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Mrs P has had experience with Norwegian pizza. It looked rather oily in her pics of it.
(https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4075/4854237141_6d6d701958.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/8oXezP)IMAG0067 (https://flic.kr/p/8oXezP) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
To be fair the food I've had in Norway has generally been good. Except for that pizza.
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2019, 10:31:04 pm
When's the last time you heard anyone say "Let's go out for a German" ?
Hmmmm?
Does "...or you can get an expensive sausage at the Christmas Sodding Market." count? Because that's a standard[1] part of Mordorian food emporia discussions from November onwards.
[1] Although not as standard as the debate about how to reach your desired emporium from, say, Mordor Central without having to go through the Christmas Sodding Market.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2019, 10:37:20 pm
Indian cooking is also a hybrid (here. And in India too.) In fact it's probably one of the influences on Caribbean cooking in some places (Trinidad).even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
Of course, the version of those cuisines you find on the UK high street is very much an anglicised hybrid.
Caribbean cooking is itself a hybrid of many different cultural influences with no coherent lineage, which might be part of the reason it hasn’t established a mainstream presence over here. But I’m just guessing.
Quote
You might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
Post by: fuzzy on 09 January, 2019, 11:28:45 pm
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
Post by: T42 on 10 January, 2019, 08:11:30 am
QuoteYou might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
Potentially getting a bin through your front window every time some hack invokes the spirit of 1943 in the Daily Heil is maybe a disincentive.
Post by: citoyen on 10 January, 2019, 08:20:25 am
We have Herman ze German!
Niche reference. There was one of those near where I used to work (Goodge Street) but they’re not exactly widespread.
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2019, 09:23:51 am
My German pal loves them, though he lives in KL these days, so I expect he's not getting much currywurst. That said, there's a fair amount of German food and drink to be had in Hong Kong.
I'm impressed by Fuzzy's culinary adventures. To be fair, the only meal 'out' I had before I was 16 was in Wimpy, once a year during Christmas shopping 'down Nottingham' my mum would take us to the Wimpy on the upper deck of the Broadmarsh Centre (which was pretty grim back then). Unquantifiable happiness!
Post by: Jaded on 10 January, 2019, 09:32:00 am
Post by: ElyDave on 10 January, 2019, 10:21:23 am
Post by: citoyen on 10 January, 2019, 10:43:48 am
Looking at their website, I was also reminded of one of my favourite things about them (apart from the excellent sausages) - their slogan: "Our wurst is ze best"
Germans. Crap food and no sense of humour.
Post by: T42 on 10 January, 2019, 11:11:03 am
My German pal loves them, though he lives in KL these days, so I expect he's not getting much currywurst.
Kaiserslautern?
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2019, 11:16:21 am
It is closing (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46760299).
That's actually quite sad (though no surprise, the Broadmarsh Centre died several years ago). That Broadmarsh WImpy was the best bit of my childhood. After a day being dragged around the shops doing the annual Christmas shop by my mum we'd stumble into what, for me, was an entire new world where they bought exotic food like hamburgers right to you and there was no washing up and drying to be done. Wimpy was seriously the only external dining experience I had before I left home. I stepped it up then, for sure, with a Berni.
As teenagers, we'd go to Wimpy after perusing Selectadisc, Our Price, and HMV all afternoon. While daring each other to go in the "Private Shop" around the back of Broadmarsh Centre to buy a porno mag. Teenage boys, if you've got one, you can keep him.
My German pal loves them, though he lives in KL these days, so I expect he's not getting much currywurst.
Kaiserslautern?
Kuala Lumpur. They probably have currywurst in Kaiserslautern. Reminds of the time, back when I was doing my PhD, we had a little German fellow from there who came out on curry night for his first ever curry. Not to be held back by mere commonsense, he had some kind of vindaloo. He sweated like a bratwurst on a hot grill and the look of distress on his face was priceless. I'm guessing curries were not exactly hot in Germany.
Post by: spesh on 10 January, 2019, 11:26:35 am
QuoteYou might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
Potentially getting a bin through your front window every time some hack invokes the spirit of 1943 in the Daily Heil is maybe a disincentive.
It was the First World War that didn't do much for the German presence on the high street in the first place - quite a lot of German-owned shops were trashed by mobs early on, probably provoked by propaganda about German war crimes committed during their advance through Belgium.
Post by: citoyen on 10 January, 2019, 12:12:24 pm
It was the First World War that didn't do much for the German presence on the high street in the first place - quite a lot of German-owned shops were trashed by mobs early on
And of course lots of people changed their German-sounding names - eg Ford Hermann Hueffer became Ford Madox Ford, and then there was the Saxe-Coburg family...
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2019, 12:19:15 pm
Back to food adoption – I think it's something to do with easy identification and categorization. We all know what an Indian is (authenticity be damned), etc.
That said, I once made the mistake of having a Vietnamese in France. Good god, that was awful.
Post by: T42 on 10 January, 2019, 01:24:26 pm
That said, I once made the mistake of having a Vietnamese in France. Good god, that was awful.
Long time since and I've never had one anywhere else so I wouldn't know. Our usual SE Asiatic is Thai. Looks suspiciously like everything else that comes in a bowl with chopsticks, other than Japanese.
Nicest memory I have of oriental eating was in a Chinese joint up the Chelsea Bridge Rd. end of Sloane St. Nothing to do with the quality of the food: I watched an urbane gent two tables away explain chopsticks to the three young things sharing the table with him. A while later I looked back again and there was a ball of something like sweet & sour pork floating in his whisky.
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2019, 02:34:47 pm
You can get really good French food in Vietnam though (and the wine, to my limited palette at least, was also quite good), so there's a point for colonialism.
Post by: citoyen on 10 January, 2019, 02:51:14 pm
When I lived in Bordeaux, the best and most widely available 'ethnic' food was North African.
Post by: ian on 10 January, 2019, 03:08:43 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 January, 2019, 06:55:53 pm
Kuala Lumpur. They probably have currywurst in Kaiserslautern. Reminds of the time, back when I was doing my PhD, we had a little German fellow from there who came out on curry night for his first ever curry. Not to be held back by mere commonsense, he had some kind of vindaloo. He sweated like a bratwurst on a hot grill and the look of distress on his face was priceless. I'm guessing curries were not exactly hot in Germany.
Got taken to an Indian restaurant in Germany by the in-laws once and it wasn't much different to the standard-issue BRITISH equivalent, even down to the red flock wallpaper.
Post by: Torslanda on 14 January, 2019, 09:03:16 am
I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2019, 09:35:01 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 January, 2019, 09:50:37 am
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2019, 10:05:11 am
ETA: I should say this process is enlivened by the instructions and selections being in Japanese.
Post by: Torslanda on 14 January, 2019, 10:11:40 am
Post by: Torslanda on 14 January, 2019, 10:21:17 am
I have a dirty little secret. When I get it together sufficiently I get THESE (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mr-Noodles-Chicken-Kimchi-86g/dp/B004HAX6KK) but from Costco, for half the money.
They might be the condensed output of a Canadian chemical plant but they are absolutely delicious. Especially when enhanced by a great slug of Blue Dragon sweet chilli sauce, which is probably the only way to achieve a taste experience. None of the flour/stodge consistency of the 'slag of all snacks' and the distinct advantage that you can overfill the tub with about 500ml of boiling water, put the lid back on and eat something warm and satisfying up to 40 minutes later - although it's sometimes a bit of a task to manage the noodles as well...
Post by: citoyen on 14 January, 2019, 12:35:15 pm
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?
I've discovered an instant noodle product that's even more downmarket than Pot Noodle - the brand is Kabuto and they sell them for 25p a packet in my local branch of Home Bargains.
They're great. I usually keep a supply in reserve for instant lunches when I CBA to eat anything with nutritional value.
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2019, 12:42:59 pm
You want posh though. I've hit the motherlode. Red Leicester Cheddars. Fucking awesome.
Post by: Jurek on 14 January, 2019, 01:08:52 pm
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?
I've discovered an instant noodle product that's even more downmarket than Pot Noodle - the brand is Kabuto and they sell them for 25p a packet in my local branch of Home Bargains.
They're great. I usually keep a supply in reserve for instant lunches when I CBA to eat anything with nutritional value.
You managed to resist the siren call of the M&S food hall next door, in favour of Home Bargains.
That takes some doing ;D
Post by: citoyen on 14 January, 2019, 01:17:56 pm
You managed to resist the siren call of the M&S food hall next door, in favour of Home Bargains.
That takes some doing ;D
The new retail park is perfect - Aldi, M&S and Home Bargains in a row, that's all the boxes ticked. And it's only a mile from my front door.
They're building a Pets at Home next door as well now, so that'll be the dog catered for too.
Post by: ian on 14 January, 2019, 01:28:02 pm
Post by: citoyen on 14 January, 2019, 01:29:11 pm
Post by: fuzzy on 15 January, 2019, 12:11:48 am
I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...
You mean there is an eating out establishment that offers Pot Noodles and Crispy Pancakes on the menu? Where have they been all my life :o
In fact, I have just had a culinary idea- Crispy Noodle Pancake! Watch out Masterchef- here I come 8)
Post by: Kim on 15 January, 2019, 12:18:52 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 January, 2019, 12:41:43 am
Post by: citoyen on 15 January, 2019, 08:22:46 am
Someone (possibly ian) should open a tragic hipster restaurant that serves the culinary delights of an 80s childhood (or at least the toned-down modern approximations thereof, now that half the ingredients have been banned). Anything with a catchy jingle or sugar in the top-three ingredients, basically.
It’s been done - at least in fictional form, in Adrian Mole: The Cappuccino Years.
And that came out before the term hipster was used to refer to anything other than a style of pant.
Post by: ian on 15 January, 2019, 08:14:59 pm
Reminds me that someone sent me a Youtube link to an effervescent young Canadian woman eating her first pork pie. While I appreciate this sounds like toply peculiar sexual fantasy, it's not. She also tries pork scratchings, monster munch, and bread and butter pudding amongst many other elements of fine British dining. It's all strangely beguiling and very difficult to explain to one's spouse. Is it wrong to send a stranger a Cornish pasty?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 January, 2019, 08:18:54 pm
Post by: Kim on 15 January, 2019, 11:54:35 pm
Post by: Jaded on 16 January, 2019, 06:04:57 am
Post by: ian on 16 January, 2019, 09:38:14 am
I think I've seen that video. Did it end with them getting horribly confused by Yorkshire puddings?
I think she does user requests, so I'm sure Yorkshire puddings have come up, I've not watched them all. The segue between horror and delight as she tries Scampi Fries is quite awesome to behold. They sound so bad, yet taste soooo good.
Sadly, when I lived in Canada, the internet was still discovering video so I couldn't film myself eating poutine.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 January, 2019, 09:39:40 am
Post by: ian on 16 January, 2019, 09:47:50 am
You ate Putin? We probably don't want to know that.
There's not enough cheese in the world to make Putin palatable.
Post by: Torslanda on 16 January, 2019, 09:51:45 am
Have we had Vesta curries yet?
Pushing against an open door there.
Food of the Gods!
Post by: Jaded on 16 January, 2019, 10:07:54 am
Post by: fuzzy on 17 January, 2019, 12:14:37 pm
He reheats it ???
Post by: T42 on 17 January, 2019, 12:54:54 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 17 January, 2019, 01:43:23 pm
Post by: ian on 19 January, 2019, 08:10:59 pm
It was marginally better than the congealed kebab pizza they sometimes left, I suppose.
And yes, they'd eat it. Scottish humans, Hobbes, Scottish humans.
Post by: fuzzy on 20 January, 2019, 09:45:55 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 January, 2019, 12:09:29 pm
Post by: ian on 20 January, 2019, 12:36:26 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 20 January, 2019, 05:40:03 pm
While they might have some dubious merits warm, a pizza with haggis or doner kebab left to cool overnight looks the following morning like something a donkey has ejaculated over.
How do you know?
Post by: ian on 20 January, 2019, 05:57:02 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 20 January, 2019, 10:03:49 pm
I'm pretty sure it's a standard topping offered by Dominos.
OK... Dominos does include a suspicious looking dip with a pizza.
Post by: Jaded on 20 January, 2019, 10:25:11 pm
Post by: Oaky on 21 January, 2019, 11:14:25 am
There's nothing wrong with pot noodles really, though I confess I've not had one for an age. I did have to be dragged from the selection in the Coop through (£1.25 for a Bombay Bad Boy). I'm sure we survived on them as students, I have fond memories of slurping down 'chicken' curry pot noodles.
You want posh though. I've hit the motherlode. Red Leicester Cheddars. Fucking awesome.
Every now and then our local Tesco has (standard size, not the "King Pot") Pot Noodles down to 50p each. That's when I stock up.
Post by: Torslanda on 21 January, 2019, 11:44:07 am
Post by: trekker12 on 29 January, 2019, 02:31:17 pm
I mean it's imported from Brazil or wherever at a thousand tonnes at a time, the Supermarket will sell you a half decent one for under a fiver and yet the accepted price in pubs and restaurants is +£20. All the chef has to do is throw it on the grill for a couple of minutes a side whilst he/she does something else, so that's about 20 seconds of labour to turn it once and throw it on a plate with a bit of rocket and a few triple cooked chips (1. par boiled, 2. deep fried 3. reheated).
It must be the highest margin product in any gastric pub in the country.
*Yes I know I can go to Flaming grill for a cheap one but the atmosphere is on a level with Wetherspoons
Post by: T42 on 29 January, 2019, 03:13:44 pm
Oh, for a good prime rib. And a set of Teflon-coated coronary arteries.
Post by: Jakob W on 29 January, 2019, 03:40:26 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 29 January, 2019, 03:45:01 pm
Why is Steak so expensive?*
I mean it's imported from Brazil or wherever at a thousand tonnes at a time, the Supermarket will sell you a half decent one for under a fiver and yet the accepted price in pubs and restaurants is +£20. All the chef has to do is throw it on the grill for a couple of minutes a side whilst he/she does something else, so that's about 20 seconds of labour to turn it once and throw it on a plate with a bit of rocket and a few triple cooked chips (1. par boiled, 2. deep fried 3. reheated).
It must be the highest margin product in any gastric pub in the country.
*Yes I know I can go to Flaming grill for a cheap one but the atmosphere is on a level with Wetherspoons
I reckon chicken breast has a higher margin. But in all that, remember the price is paying for a lot of overheads, and the cost of the ingredients is a small part of that, so all meals will end up costing around the same regardless of whether it's fish, meat or fowl.
ETA: That said I don't buy steak out. Why would I when the local farm shop sells it's own Aberdeen Angus steaks - fillet with both texture and flavour, lovely ribeye and sirloin - that I can cook to our (different) likings at home.
Post by: ian on 29 January, 2019, 03:55:36 pm
That said, decent cow is expensive, but it's not often that decent. I don't begrudge the markup in Hawksmoor, but I'm not sure Beefeater meets the same standard. You ask the waiter in Hawksmoor about the cow, you get its name, favourite hobbies, and star sign. Frankly, more than I wanted to know and I felt bad that they killed something with such an evidently full life. I don't, tbh, think we need to import steak. Cows, and I've checked this, are available locally.
I don't think preparing and cooking a steak is especially difficult, it ought to be chef 101. That said, it always makes me laugh (then cringe, because I'm British) when Americans visiting the UK inevitably send their steaks back (they also inevitably always order steaks, never learning from their disappointment) because it's not cooked to their specification.
Post by: SteveC on 29 January, 2019, 03:58:21 pm
Post by: spesh on 29 January, 2019, 04:07:11 pm
Why is Steak so expensive?*
I mean it's imported from Brazil or wherever at a thousand tonnes at a time, the Supermarket will sell you a half decent one for under a fiver and yet the accepted price in pubs and restaurants is +£20. All the chef has to do is throw it on the grill for a couple of minutes a side whilst he/she does something else, so that's about 20 seconds of labour to turn it once and throw it on a plate with a bit of rocket and a few triple cooked chips (1. par boiled, 2. deep fried 3. reheated).
It must be the highest margin product in any gastric pub in the country.
*Yes I know I can go to Flaming grill for a cheap one but the atmosphere is on a level with Wetherspoons
You might want to try frequenting a decent gastro pub instead, then you wouldn't have so much bile to spew about this.
<grabs coat, hails taxi>
Post by: Pingu on 29 January, 2019, 08:13:13 pm
Post by: trekker12 on 30 January, 2019, 01:30:06 pm
My father calls them gastric pubs. He's an old bloke with old views about pubs - most of which I agree with but the world changes and not selling over priced meat does not keep pubs open. I'll never call them anything else but gastric pubs though.
Post by: Kim on 30 January, 2019, 01:41:01 pm
Post by: Ham on 30 January, 2019, 10:16:57 pm
Some things I've noticed, looking primarily at 5 burner hobs but holds true across the piece. WHY would you place the most powerful burners at the back? BECOZ ELF AN' SAFETY? those big burners are what you inevitably cook on, almost whatever you are doing, the small burners are what you use with stuff you aren't working on. so with big burners at the back, you will always be reaching over the pans at the front. And controls? At the front, what a GOOD idea, so now your front burners have half width supports on the side facing you, so when you shake your pan on that big back light you knock the simmering carrots all over the place. And while I'm on the subject, who the holy fuck thought that having a perfectly flat hob was a good idea, so hot stuff spills allover the place? Someone who never spills anything cooking? OK, right, that's someone who never cooks. Oh, and while we're on the subject of cooking, what's with these half arsed burners? Here's a hint, designers, just calling a burner "Fast" or "Superfast" does fuck all for a pot of water that can't read. My current hob has 3.3, 2.9, 2.5, 1.75 and 1Kw, how hard can it be to find something remotely similar? (answer, in case you hadn't guessed, much harder than you would have thought. "Wok Burner" is convenient marketing speak for anything from 2.5Kw plate warmer to a 5Kw flame thrower, I just hope those who came up with the nomenclature BURN IN HELL. On Superfast.
I've seem pretty much just two exceptions to this, both in excess of £1,500, for a gas hob.
Hurumph. If it comes to it, I'm going to try to keep my hob going I think.
Post by: hellymedic on 30 January, 2019, 11:08:30 pm
Post by: Kim on 30 January, 2019, 11:55:56 pm
Post by: Ham on 31 January, 2019, 06:20:57 am
Ah, hang on, "design things" is what you said. Yeah, well, see my first post.
And Helly, the dynamics of a 4 burner is slightly different, a five burner gives you more options to work, at least as you note you have one big burner (likely the biggest) at the front.
Post by: T42 on 31 January, 2019, 08:15:41 am
Post by: citoyen on 31 January, 2019, 08:49:00 am
My father calls them gastric pubs.
So does Count Arthur Strong.
And George Orwell probably would too if he had lived to see the phenomenon.
Post by: Jaded on 31 January, 2019, 09:54:12 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 January, 2019, 11:24:59 am
Post by: Ham on 31 January, 2019, 11:43:44 am
(https://www.iconappliances.co.uk/images/thumbnails/9/500/500/1pbf1041383056782526fc58e4b7d8.jpg)
But that's not a noption at all for a replacement, even if I'd probably prefer that to a badly designed 5 burner.
While I'm at it - this Miele one appears to be the best design I've seen. Offset burners (not square set) mean that pans will fit better
(https://www.miele.co.uk/pmedia/30/Z17/20000084693-000-00_20000084693.jpg)
Post by: hellymedic on 31 January, 2019, 11:57:56 am
It's not easy to lean into the heat with this arrangement but I am mostly beyond stove cookery anyway.
The small burner seems to be able to belt out much heat anyway; it's all I need for Big Stews and Big Soups.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 January, 2019, 12:14:27 pm
Post by: Ham on 31 January, 2019, 12:17:24 pm
(https://www.taps4less.com/PI/SM-PTV705.jpg)
Four spindly pan supports, who thought that was a good move? also, putting that wok burner in the middle interferes with all the burners when you use a large saute pan or the like, instead of just two. Oh yes, that IS £800 worth of hob. As it happens, the one that would fit mine is this
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61dodC4QHwL._SX355_.jpg)
Which is better, still with the four leg pan support, still £800 discounted from £1,000
ETA - for reference the Miele one has rrp of £2k
Post by: hellymedic on 31 January, 2019, 02:02:37 pm
The pan supports are removable chunky metal (cast iron or similar) and cover 2 burners.
The subjacent hob is glossy, white and wipes clean with scant effort.
It might be >20 years old but I see no reason to change it yet. (There seems to be an intermittent fault with the electric sparker.)
Post by: Kim on 31 January, 2019, 02:04:15 pm
(https://www.miele.co.uk/pmedia/30/Z17/20000084693-000-00_20000084693.jpg)
I think I last saw that one exploding a reel of tape in the opening scene of an episode of Mission Impossible.
When I was a PSO, our kitchen inexplicably[1] had both a free-standing cooker and a separate hob built into the adjacent work surface. This was surprisingly useful.
[1] I assume landlord cheapness.
Post by: geraldc on 10 February, 2019, 12:28:32 pm
Post by: ian on 11 February, 2019, 08:13:11 pm
Anyway, that was a lesson only partly learned. Let's introduce yet another failure to the pantheon of failed attempts at putting cheese in bread. The Pret 'posh cheddar and pickle baguette.' OK, I should have known this sandwich was doomed because it included the word 'posh.' It's a cheese sandwich, not Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Firstly, the cheese. It was apparently mature. It was hard to say, there were two thin slivers jammed into the baguette. And by jammed, I mean jammed, by about four gallons of sugary 'pickle.' Pickle is, well, supposed to pickle. There should be a shout of vinegar. This was smothered to death under a sugary blanket. They didn't stop there. No, because they'd declared it to be 'posh' they did what I suppose is the posh thing to do and added some chewy lumps of sundried tomato. Why? I don't know. Does a cheese and pickle sandwich cry out for sundried tomatoes? Did anyone ever in the history of mankind say the words 'do you know what these cheese and pickle sandwich needs? Sundried tomato, that's what." No, because the only people who think like that are under professional care and taking a lot of medication.
Not stopping there, they added some cress and some red onion, which at least enjoyed being permissible additions to a cheese and pickle sandwich, and a gasp towards the fable five-a-day, and – wait for it – mayonnaise. Because a sandwich already drowning under a tsunami of its own pickle needs more gloopy condiment.
The result was a sandwich that really was mostly condiment. The flaccid cheese was hanging out of the side like the tongue of a long-drowned man. Alas, the real test came in eating this sandwich, because about two mouthfuls in, the overabundance of lubricating condiments ensured the contents oozed out as though the were making a break for it and splatted down on my boot where to be honest they didn't manage to look much worse than in the sandwich. Even a passing dog took one look and thought 'nah.' I had, for my trouble, a damp lump of bread and a need to find a bin.
FFS, people. Cheese, bread, butter, some veg, a modest spread of mayo if you must. That's it. Stop fucking with it.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 February, 2019, 08:52:18 pm
Post by: ian on 11 February, 2019, 09:52:49 pm
Anyway. If anyone is wondering what the weird red and white splodge is in the David Lloyd leisure centre car park in Chigwell, it's not the remains of an alien life form that failed to thrive on planet Earth, but my sandwich. Most annoying thing was that I had to hike twelve miles fuelled only by a bag of cheese and onion crisps.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 11 February, 2019, 10:06:13 pm
Post by: madcow on 11 February, 2019, 10:48:19 pm
Indeed, I generally avoid, but I was dashing through London Bridge station as I had a train to catch and I foolishly thought, cheese and pickle, how can that go wrong? I don't really get Pret, I mean, it's 2018 is anyone surprised by humus in a sandwich. I especially don't get how they exist in places like NYC – awesome food choices abound, there's actual delis that will make sandwiches to order, but people queue to buy Pret sandwiches. It kind of has to be the result of mind control and some evil plan.
Anyway. If anyone is wondering what the weird red and white splodge is in the David Lloyd leisure centre car park in Chigwell, it's not the remains of an alien life form that failed to thrive on planet Earth, but my sandwich. Most annoying thing was that I had to hike twelve miles fuelled only by a bag of cheese and onion crisps.
I may, on the odd occasion, have eaten a sandwich after handling animal manure or garden soil but I really would be surprised to find humus between the pieces of bread. Were you by chance, referring to that well known concoction of chickpeas, olive oil and assorted condiments?
Post by: hellymedic on 11 February, 2019, 10:53:09 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 February, 2019, 10:57:51 pm
Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
Post by: madcow on 11 February, 2019, 11:08:56 pm
Humus is soil particles and shit. Hummus is chickpea based shit.
Post by: Jaded on 11 February, 2019, 11:56:10 pm
Post by: Jaded on 11 February, 2019, 11:57:25 pm
Post by: ian on 12 February, 2019, 11:21:40 am
There is a thread for "Spelling that makes etc."
Humus is soil particles and shit. Hummus is chickpea based shit.
Nah, I transliterated it direct from the original cuniform glyphs. Everyone else is wrong, as usual.
The other thing that bugs me about my occasional forays into Pret sandwiches is their indecent love for large quantities of mayonnaise. This affliction is widely (and liberally) spread across the pre-packed sandwich world. We're not talking a schmear of pert and peppery mayo, they're adding it by the shovelful, and it's usually glutinous, flavour-depleted mucilage, that owes more to industrial hydrocarbons and awry chemical process than olive oil and egg yolks. It's the sort of stuff they advise you not to use on latex and rubber products. This despite the fact that it's clearly an axiom that butter makes everything better. Can you get a sandwich with buttered bread? No.
I guess Pret was a refresher back in the days when a good old British lunchtime sandwich consisted of stale bread and a selection of week-old fillings, half of which looked like they'd spent some time in a cat beforehand. When hum(m)us was still an exotica but it's not now, it's a fact of life. OK, I know crayfish are fashionable prawns and probably have a social media presence, but even they will have drowned in the same lake of mayonnaise.
Post by: Tim Hall on 12 February, 2019, 11:26:12 am
It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 February, 2019, 11:46:33 am
Of course you could, you just have to order him from Sainsbury's website!It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
Post by: spesh on 12 February, 2019, 12:33:51 pm
It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
Or you could be (were he still alive*) Monsieur Mangetout, and have bits of a Hummer in your sandwich.
* Turns out Michel Lotito died of natural causes at the relatively young age of 57 in 2007: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito
Edited.
Post by: hellymedic on 12 February, 2019, 05:53:48 pm
The other thing that bugs me about my occasional forays into Pret sandwiches is their indecent love for large quantities of mayonnaise. This affliction is widely (and liberally) spread across the pre-packed sandwich world. We're not talking a schmear of pert and peppery mayo, they're adding it by the shovelful, and it's usually glutinous, flavour-depleted mucilage, that owes more to industrial hydrocarbons and awry chemical process than olive oil and egg yolks. It's the sort of stuff they advise you not to use on latex and rubber products.
Any oil/fat/mayo/butter is best kept away from latex and rubber...
Post by: ian on 14 February, 2019, 09:30:49 pm
Anyway, in other news, pita chips. Oh yes. Have I mentioned them? I should have. I ate another one the day. One is enough, trust me. Basically, some has had the low wattage idea of toasting bits of pita bread. This has the effect of making them taste like, I imagine, a five-year-old piece of pita bread. Or fresh plasterboard. It's dry bread, one sucks all the moisture out of your mouth, I imagine if you get to five you're probably as desiccated as King Tut under a sunlamp.
They seem to reproduce in craft beer places where I first encountered a bag. Yesterday, there was a bowl of snack selection at some buffet, and well, I wasn't paying attention. One moment, mmm, peanutty goodness, the next, ack ack ACK! My head is now 5% smaller. I have to soak it in the bath.
For fuck's sake, it's dry bread. I don't care if you're roasted it in virgin olive oil, it's still dry bread. The entire point of pita is that they hot and tasty, you slice them and steam belches out like a happy fat man in a sauna.
I've taken to google things that I hate. Firstly, that posh cheese baguette. The internet loves them. Pita chips. The internet loves them too. These are things defiant in their awfulness.
Post by: hellymedic on 15 February, 2019, 01:27:38 am
Coconut oil based contraceptive pessaries 'Rendells' were A Thing in my misspent youth.
Oh dear!
Post by: citoyen on 15 February, 2019, 08:28:44 am
Anyway, in other news, pita chips. Oh yes. Have I mentioned them? I should have. I ate another one the day. One is enough, trust me. Basically, some has had the low wattage idea of toasting bits of pita bread. This has the effect of making them taste like, I imagine, a five-year-old piece of pita bread. Or fresh plasterboard. It's dry bread, one sucks all the moisture out of your mouth, I imagine if you get to five you're probably as desiccated as King Tut under a sunlamp.
You’re going to the wrong craft beer places. Mine does spicy fried broad beans which are teh awesome.
Mind you, isn’t the very point of bar snacks to dry out your mouth and thereby make you drink more? Coming soon to a hipster joint near you: salted nuts coated in silica gel.
Post by: Tim Hall on 15 February, 2019, 08:35:03 am
* OK, it's just my personal whinge. I have an irrational dislike of the adjective "craft" when applied to beer. Craft knife, yes. Arts and craft movement, yes. Kraft cheese, if I'm having a "life on the edge" moment, yes. Craft beer? No. Beer. Or an ironic "pint of foaming ale."
Post by: ian on 15 February, 2019, 10:09:42 am
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Post by: fuzzy on 15 February, 2019, 11:18:23 am
It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Call it beer. Other beers that don't taste of beer are called piss.
Post by: Jurek on 15 February, 2019, 12:17:27 pm
It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Post by: ian on 15 February, 2019, 01:20:21 pm
Post by: rr on 15 February, 2019, 05:29:13 pm
I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
Post by: Jurek on 15 February, 2019, 06:08:53 pm
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
A smidge under 4.5 miles in length - From London Bridge Station to Penny Hatch Bridge at Deptford Creek.
Starts out (at least) 15 (railway) lines wide.
That's a lot of bricks to chew through.
Out of curiosity, what are the stats on the Stockport one?
Post by: Ginger Cat on 15 February, 2019, 06:22:06 pm
Found the source of The Smell. It was a new place, called "sausage revolution" or somesuch strange name. To be fair, it did look a bit overly-trendy for White Van Cat (=GC working), but worth a look.
I went in, it was hipster-heaven. Boards all round with long menus. I must have looked confused as the bod behind the counter started explaining the way their "system" worked. Something about choosing a brioche (brioche- for sausages??? WTF) or pizza base (!!!!!) then stage 1 filling then something else.... (GC lost track at that point). ???
"But I just want a sausage butty" says GC plainitively. Bods behind the counter looked shocked and tittered a bit. So GC turned and left, butty-less.
Is this place a chain of some sort? It kinda felt like it, but I'm a decade or so behind the times on such things.
This place is in an industrial estate next door to a branch of Lyndon Scaffolding and over the road from a tank-wash place. Can't see it being there very long.
GC
Post by: citoyen on 15 February, 2019, 06:31:24 pm
(brioche- for sausages??? WTF) or pizza base (!!!!!) then stage 1 filling then something else....
Is this real or did you dream an episode of Nathan Barley?
Post by: SteveC on 15 February, 2019, 06:36:06 pm
Post by: Ginger Cat on 16 February, 2019, 10:03:16 am
(brioche- for sausages??? WTF) or pizza base (!!!!!) then stage 1 filling then something else....
Is this real or did you dream an episode of Nathan Barley?
It's real. Sadly.
Post by: Ginger Cat on 16 February, 2019, 10:08:39 am
This place? (https://www.thesausagerevolution.co.uk/online-order)
Yup, that's the one. The first menu wasn't as long- only had choice of brioche bun, pizza base or mash, but the rest looked about right. I didn't get beyond the 2nd stage options before becoming befuzzled.
I did wonder if it was some sort of chain, but it's an odd place they are in, I could understand in a "regenerated" docklands or sommat but in an industrial estate? The prices were high for the local area too. Bear in mind the nearby town has a Greggs outlet store (i.e. all the Greggs reject stuff) as it's not exactly well off.
Putting a normal Greggs there would probably be much more lucrative (I'm not knocking Greggs, quite the opposite in fact, on one of my regular runs out to a particular client I always stop in the same service station for a Greggs bacon & sausage baguette & cup of tea brekkie and buy my lunch there too- good honest White Van Cat grub).
GC
Post by: citoyen on 16 February, 2019, 12:07:24 pm
As it happens, I had a sausage sandwich for breakfast this morning. Sausages, bread, ketchup, mustard. That’s all. It’s really not difficult to get right.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 February, 2019, 12:54:18 pm
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
A smidge under 4.5 miles in length - From London Bridge Station to Penny Hatch Bridge at Deptford Creek.
Starts out (at least) 15 (railway) lines wide.
That's a lot of bricks to chew through.
Out of curiosity, what are the stats on the Stockport one?
And I thought it was the chimney of the Anaconda Smelter, but it turns out that's just the tallest and only contains a paltry 2.5 million bricks (albeit oversized ones).
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 February, 2019, 02:06:00 pm
<slithers into a hole>
Post by: Jaded on 16 February, 2019, 05:07:04 pm
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
A smidge under 4.5 miles in length - From London Bridge Station to Penny Hatch Bridge at Deptford Creek.
Starts out (at least) 15 (railway) lines wide.
That's a lot of bricks to chew through.
Out of curiosity, what are the stats on the Stockport one?
60 million bricks.
Double the number of the Kilsby Tunnel...
Post by: ElyDave on 18 February, 2019, 06:56:25 am
But it was in Ashford, what do they know?
Post by: ian on 18 February, 2019, 09:45:49 am
Salads, 'restaurants' can't make them.
Post by: citoyen on 18 February, 2019, 09:53:38 am
Post by: andrewc on 01 March, 2019, 08:34:43 pm
The cucumber I bought the other day has already gone squidgy & is leaking. Tonights salad is going to be basic. :(
Post by: hellymedic on 01 March, 2019, 08:41:52 pm
Post by: andrewc on 01 March, 2019, 09:10:59 pm
Post by: spesh on 01 March, 2019, 10:32:17 pm
That's Plan A. Plan B is to see how many unstoned green olives I can eat in the next few days..... :jurek:
Plan C - make tapenade and freeze it (https://www.google.co.uk/search?ei=rLJ5XPbHJI-TlwS6-reoCg&q=can+you+freeze+tapenade&oq=can+you+freeze+tap&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.0l5j0i22i30l5.23559.27906..29958...1.0..0.276.2886.1j15j3......0....1..gws-wiz.......0i71j0i67j0i131j0i22i10i30.1a_vgkUUxww).
Post by: andrewc on 01 March, 2019, 11:29:44 pm
Post by: Pingu on 01 March, 2019, 11:48:23 pm
Post by: spesh on 01 March, 2019, 11:58:03 pm
Mmm, tapenade :P
Food of the gods - after chorizo jam...
Post by: T42 on 02 March, 2019, 09:25:20 am
Mmm, tapenade :P
Yeah...
(https://pbase.com/johnewing/image/157388114.jpg)
(https://pbase.com/johnewing/image/84035773.jpg)
That second one was made by a chum, and was much heavier on the salt, capers, and garlic. It was by far the best I've ever had - the normal stuff is peely-wally in comparison.
Post by: T42 on 02 March, 2019, 09:27:03 am
That's Plan A. Plan B is to see how many unstoned green olives I can eat in the next few days..... :jurek:
IIRC Arthur Koestler once lived for a month on a single enormous jar of large green olives.
Post by: Efrogwr on 08 March, 2019, 07:42:51 pm
WTF?
Post by: ElyDave on 08 March, 2019, 07:51:34 pm
Post by: Basil on 08 March, 2019, 08:14:32 pm
Chocolate chip Welshcakes.
WTF?
Maybe they'd run out of currants?
Post by: Jaded on 04 April, 2019, 05:27:32 pm
It was quite the most disgusting pudding I've had since I left school.
Post by: hellymedic on 04 April, 2019, 11:58:58 pm
??? :sick:
I have not...
Post by: Basil on 05 April, 2019, 08:53:10 am
Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
WTF? No.
Are you sure that's not something left over from 1st April?
Post by: spesh on 05 April, 2019, 01:33:46 pm
Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
I, for one, welcome the GBFO Flaming Meteor Of Death...
Post by: hellymedic on 05 April, 2019, 07:50:52 pm
Good thinking!Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
WTF? No.
Are you sure that's not something left over from 1st April?
I only saw it yesterday...
Seems like it was in yesterday's Independent Online so a bit late for 1 April...
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/easter-eggs-heinz-cadbury-creme-egg-mayonnaise-flavour-april-fools-a8854596.html
(https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/easter-eggs-heinz-cadbury-creme-egg-mayonnaise-flavour-april-fools-a8854596.html)
ETA Standard vid
https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/foodanddrink/creme-egg-mayo-london-taste-test-a4110956.html (https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/foodanddrink/creme-egg-mayo-london-taste-test-a4110956.html)
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 05 April, 2019, 09:50:46 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 07 April, 2019, 09:16:18 pm
Green olive tapenade... my bog, it's a real thing https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/20/olive-recipes-hugh-fearnley-whittingstall I've only ever had the black stuff....
Yup. A couple of years ago I bought three massive tubs of tapenade in Pezenas market. One black, one green and one white. Took them up to our friends near Limoges. All were amazing.
Post by: T42 on 16 May, 2019, 10:03:38 am
"Yes but it's all they had in the bio section".
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 May, 2019, 12:32:01 pm
Post by: Kim on 16 May, 2019, 12:40:17 pm
Post by: T42 on 16 May, 2019, 01:19:47 pm
I'd forgotten the "full-fat" descriptor. I wonder who dreamt that one up. Gives you the idea that someone thinks people should be all embarrassed to put it on the supermarket check-out conveyor, like schoolboys trying to buy condoms in the 60s.
I suppose it's what we used to call "milk".
Post by: ian on 16 May, 2019, 01:28:09 pm
On those grounds, I suspect the contents of a bottle of full-fat milk and a used condom hold a similar appeal.
Post by: essexian on 16 May, 2019, 01:33:19 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 May, 2019, 01:39:20 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 16 May, 2019, 01:44:25 pm
Good idea, if you have the unskimmed milk to hand.
I'd forgotten the "full-fat" descriptor. I wonder who dreamt that one up. Gives you the idea that someone thinks people should be all embarrassed to put it on the supermarket check-out conveyor, like schoolboys trying to buy condoms in the 60s.
I suppose it's what we used to call "milk".
It is.
We had a short break at Llanerchindda Farm earlier this month an I remarked that the milk on my cereal was SO nice. The proprietor confirmed it was whole milk, whose joys I had long forgotten.
Post by: essexian on 16 May, 2019, 01:48:13 pm
Back then, milk actually had some taste.
Next... "bread isn't as good as it used to be," followed by "Call that a tomato..."
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 May, 2019, 02:12:53 pm
Post by: T42 on 16 May, 2019, 04:03:43 pm
Post by: ElyDave on 16 May, 2019, 04:55:54 pm
Double cream in my coffee however, that's a definite treat, I'll even pop in a dollop of clotted cream if we have some
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 May, 2019, 04:59:05 pm
Bud never did have any taste.You'd be weiser to choose a different variety.
Post by: madcow on 17 May, 2019, 03:24:52 pm
I used to hate school milk, point blank refused to drink it. Still can't stomach milk in it's liquid form
I was brought up on a dairy farm so as far as I was concerned milk came straight from the cow, through the cooler and direct into our milk jug.
When presented with school milk in a glass bottle, I refused to believe that it was real milk.
The milk monitor at school was called Brian. He was Alf Garnett in miniature.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 May, 2019, 06:06:29 pm
Post by: Kim on 17 May, 2019, 06:11:24 pm
If it went through the cooler before your milk jug, I know people who'd say that's not straight from the cow. I expect some people would say the same about the jug, but they're weird.
(https://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a302/notputtingupshelves/milkymilky.jpg) (https://s14.photobucket.com/user/notputtingupshelves/media/milkymilky.jpg.html)
Post by: Basil on 17 May, 2019, 06:14:57 pm
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 12:48:02 pm
Toasting a bad sandwich doesn't make it better. It makes it worse. Oh and you get pre-striped panini, so you pretend it's been grilled.
And then cold sandwiches. Partly I blame the fear of butter that gripped the nation, so for some reason there are industrial quantities of cheap mayonnaise everywhere. It's like a cunning wheeze to get rid of some tribological byproduct. No seriously, a single branch of Pret alone must get through tonnes of mayonnaise in any given day. And don't get me going on vegan mayonnaise which is like mayonnaise that has given up even trying. Decent mayonnaise is peppery and lively, and added in gently sandwich enlivening amounts, not by the deadening bucketload, so it oozes out over your fingers like an embarrassing accident. I don't know what happened, it doesn't normally do that so quickly.
Oh and 'rationing' sandwich. Now I appreciate there's a segment of the great British public who still yearns for the days of post-war rationing but really, I don't want my blitz spirit served to be between two slices of ersatz sliced oaf for lunch. You know the rationed sandwich by its anaemic pallor and anorexic proportions, the single lonely slice of reformed ham shivering between the bread, the thin smear of margarine so cheap that it doesn't even manage to get the colour right. Cheese comes in more plentiful proportions, but don't get too excited, it won't taste of anything other than disappointment.
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Post by: Ham on 28 May, 2019, 01:03:52 pm
Post by: Kim on 28 May, 2019, 02:10:05 pm
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Chorleywood.
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 02:16:24 pm
That said, I mostly live off fruit for lunch. The most recent disappointment was trying to find somewhere in Croydon when we changed trains on Saturday. Ended up with Upper Crust which was basically tasteless cheese, tomato and mayonnaise on a baguette that was so offensive the French would probably start and lose a war over. Oh, and 'light mayonnaise' as though I wasn't already insulted enough. The only saving grace was that they hadn't deposited the entire jar of pretend mayo on it. Instead the moisture from the signature tasteless tomatoes had soaked into the bread to result in a guaranteed damp and clammy mouthful. And I'm sure you'll agree, that 'damp and clammy' is not the slogan you'd want applied to a sandwich.
Post by: caerau on 28 May, 2019, 02:22:47 pm
And I'm sure you'll agree, that 'damp and clammy' is not the slogan you'd want applied to a sandwich.
Especially a sausage sandwich :-D
IGMC
Post by: ElyDave on 28 May, 2019, 05:45:29 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 May, 2019, 06:20:13 pm
Cheddar.Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Chorleywood.
https://www.cooksinfo.com/government-cheddar-cheese
Post by: Kim on 28 May, 2019, 06:29:24 pm
Cheddar.Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Chorleywood.
https://www.cooksinfo.com/government-cheddar-cheese
Margarine, OTOH, appears to be mostly French people's fault, with more than a little help by the USAnians.
Post by: hellymedic on 28 May, 2019, 06:42:54 pm
He liked it too.
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 06:48:41 pm
Post by: Kim on 28 May, 2019, 07:23:56 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 May, 2019, 07:24:11 pm
Post by: ian on 28 May, 2019, 07:44:09 pm
I think you by-and-large need something on the bread-filling interface or you too often get the soggy bread effect or the converse, something arid and inedible. Americans seem to get around the entire terror of butter issue with industrial quantities of cheese on every kind of sandwich. To be honest, they put so much filling in a sandwich, bread really is an afterthought and only there to stop you stuffing literal fistfuls of meat into your gaping, salivating maw. This is, of course, the antithesis of the British 'rationing' sandwich, which is basically two slices of Chorleywood's finest draped around a whispered excuse of a filling.
Butter that, motherfuckers is going to be my future catchphrase.
Post by: citoyen on 29 May, 2019, 02:42:47 pm
Given that you won't get a decent French baguette, one of the better old style-ish sandwich shop that will make what you want in the Southbank vicinity is here (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5063703,-0.1024228,3a,49.5y,39.98h,88.85t/data=!3m5!1e1!3m3!1sKlxdxXiHIlk3umSDzrrexA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo3.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DKlxdxXiHIlk3umSDzrrexA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D31.027%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100). Their downside is that they must have had an american train them for their bap filling technique. A couple of doors away you can find the best (local) fry up. (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5062466,-0.1020099,3a,70.9y,39.66h,85.73t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sgOgWW13S0rASRl2p-KReEg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192) (best, assuming you don't venture further south into the badlands)
Ah, Frank's! When I was working in the Blue Fin, we had a team tradition of bacon rolls from Frank's al desko every Friday morning. Happy days.
I know the sandwich shop but I never went in there in all my seven years of working there. Sounds like I missed out.
However, my favourite sandwich shop in the whole of That London - which I may have mentioned before - is Rive Gauche in Warren Street (https://www.google.com/maps/@51.5240498,-0.139955,3a,75y,161.05h,81.66t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1scB7N8GOEq_gzbUz2zITHcA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656). This was the lunch venue of choice in the late 90s when I was working nearby, and was a favourite of Fay Maschler, who lives just round the corner in Fitzroy Square. They reputedly introduced the concept of the mini-baguette to the UK, and they make them themselves (though I'm not sure if they actually bake them on the premises) - so yes, they were actually decent, authentic baguettes.
I was over that way not so long ago and pleased to discover that it is still going strong - and totally unchanged, even down to the same little old bonnes mamans making the sandwiches. Definitely worth visiting if you're in the area.
ETA - I just checked, and in fact it seems it closed down in 2016, so it can't have been as recent as I thought that I was last over that way:
https://news.fitzrovia.org.uk/2016/06/26/cafe-bids-au-revoir-to-warren-street/
That's a real shame. :'(
Post by: ian on 30 July, 2019, 10:33:17 am
BRITISH RESTAURANTS, I WANT BREAD WITH MY FOOD.
FREE BREAD.
You stingy fuckers. I sit at a table, I want bread and butter brought to me. More if I want it. I don't want to be told it's on the menu and will cost four quid.
Post by: ian on 12 August, 2019, 12:38:17 pm
In other rants – yesterday we grabbed lunch at Maltby St market in that London, and wandering by one of the drinking establishments in the arches stopped for a drink with our meal. Only to be pounced on by the chap running a concession inside and be told we couldn't eat 'outside' food in there. OK, to be fair, if they want to do that, then fine, it's their funeral, but put a fucking sign up stating this because we don't have psychic powers. And I don't get it – these places ought to thrive on the fact they have a street market next door (and generally have, encouraging people to wander in with their food for an accompanying beer, which is what we mistakenly did). We already had food so really, unless your business is the food, there's really no value discouraging custom on that basis. And if your business is the food, well, probably not the best plan to open by a famous street food market.
Anyway, I might have been a bit bolshy, but it got us a free beer*.
*that said, the food guy just grabbed it from the fridge, so I'm not entirely sure it was legitimate, I presume he's separate from the bar. But hey, free beer.
Post by: Basil on 28 August, 2019, 07:14:06 pm
I will never, ever grow them again. I'm sick to death of them. Courgettes with everything and we still can't keep up with the cropping.
Also,
Courgettes
How the fuck do you make them taste of anything other than water?
Add salt and they taste of sea water.
Cut into disks, coat with paprika and fry and they taste of water.
A ratatouille would be greatly improved by their omission.
Post by: Ham on 28 August, 2019, 07:29:43 pm
Courgettes!
I will never, ever grow them again. I'm sick to death of them. Courgettes with everything and we still can't keep up with the cropping.
Also,
Courgettes
How the fuck do you make them taste of anything other than water?
Add salt and they taste of sea water.
Cut into disks, coat with paprika and fry and they taste of water.
A ratatouille would be greatly improved by their omission.
Some ideas:
Slice lengthways, wipe with oil and bbq, char one side turn and do the other. If you overcook they will be floppy and.... taste of water.
Make courgette and ginger jam. Has the additional benefit in that it no longer tastes of courgette. You have to be aware that it has .....a high water content.
Grate into salad with carrot, add lemon, yoghurt, mayo if you like, seeds for crunch. Eat before they turn into .....water
Spiralise and flash fry, with garlic and oil. Cook too much and they will...... taste like water.
Basically, you're cooking too long.
And, I have made a table outside saying "help yourself"......
Post by: Basil on 28 August, 2019, 08:08:57 pm
I've decided to leave the rest where they are, just to see how big they get, and then let them self compost.
There's no more room in either of the 'fridges anyway and the freezers have enough frozen ratatouille to last several Brexits.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 August, 2019, 08:13:38 pm
Post by: ian on 28 August, 2019, 08:13:50 pm
The exception that proves the rule is courgette sauce for pasta. It probably has a clever Italian name, like courgettolesco or something. Heat lots of olive oil and lightly fry a few halved cloves of garlic for a few minutes then discard the garlic, then add several cubed or thickly sliced courgette to the hot oil, a good sprinkle of salt, and cook slowly with occasional stirring over a low heat for 20-30 minutes until they've reduced down to an even thick sauce-like consistency, then stir through a good dose of parmesan and a ladle of pasta water. Serve with hot pasta and that's that, one of those marvellously simple meals that's hard to better.
It'll also get rid of all your courgettes.
Post by: andrewc on 28 August, 2019, 09:05:46 pm
Post by: Basil on 28 August, 2019, 09:14:41 pm
If you feed them to pigs they'll miraculously turn into bacon...... (can't remember if Basil is a carnivore or not. Too long since I've seen him :( )
Brilliant! :thumbsup:
Post by: ian on 28 August, 2019, 09:30:36 pm
Also, courgettes are only good when they are little, once they get big, it's the law of diminishing returns. Sometimes small stature isn't a disappointment, but gents, if you're brandishing a courgette in the bedroom, I suspect your returns will definitely be diminishing.
Mmmm, pickles. Jar-based awesome. I eat at least one industrial jar of pickled cucumbers every week. Then I drink the juice, like I'm some kind of dramatically off-kilter vampire.
Post by: Jurek on 28 August, 2019, 09:41:09 pm
I never really understood them raw in salads, they're just pointless. Only bother if you've griddled or grilled them till smoky. I did once quick pickle them (soak in hot vinegar, sugar and salt and let cool) but really, just get pickles out of a jar, it's quicker and they're better.You should put that into Bloody Marys.
Also, courgettes are only good when they are little, once they get big, it's the law of diminishing returns. Sometimes small stature isn't a disappointment, but gents, if you're brandishing a courgette in the bedroom, I suspect your returns will definitely be diminishing.
Mmmm, pickles. Jar-based awesome. I eat at least one industrial jar of pickled cucumbers every week. Then I drink the juice, like I'm some kind of dramatically off-kilter vampire.
Post by: ian on 28 August, 2019, 09:58:04 pm
I suspect the amorous proffering any sizable cucurbit to a woman called Mary (or otherwise) would end in bloodshed.
Post by: hellymedic on 28 August, 2019, 11:05:22 pm
Well there's courgette cake. I don't have a recipe but I have eaten it and it is... cake. And surely there must be courgette wine.
Surely you need sugar or starch to ferment to make a wine and courgettes have little of these?
Post by: Jaded on 28 August, 2019, 11:20:38 pm
Courgettes!
I will never, ever grow them again. I'm sick to death of them. Courgettes with everything and we still can't keep up with the cropping.
Also,
Courgettes
How the fuck do you make them taste of anything other than water?
Add salt and they taste of sea water.
Cut into disks, coat with paprika and fry and they taste of water.
A ratatouille would be greatly improved by their omission.
OK.
Set the oven to 180 degrees
Slice the courgettes finely
Arrange the slices neatly in tight overlapping circles
Sprinkle with paprika and smoked garlic dust
Pop the pizza in the oven for 9 minutes and throw the courgettes in the bin.
Post by: rafletcher on 29 August, 2019, 02:41:30 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 29 August, 2019, 07:14:53 am
https://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/hcha/entry/the_baking_of/
Post by: T42 on 29 August, 2019, 08:03:56 am
Cook them myself? For an "almost palatable", why bother?
Post by: ian on 29 August, 2019, 09:25:06 am
Basically, whatever you do, you need to cook off all the water. They're OK on pizza if sliced very finely so they go crisp, but really, if you're going to do that, try potato.
I confess my ongoing antipathy to aubergines though. I've never managed to make a ratatouille worth bothering with.
Post by: Legs on 29 August, 2019, 10:04:06 am
Post by: rafletcher on 30 August, 2019, 01:48:40 am
If there's one thing I've learned about cooking is that people are scared by oil, salt, and heat. A decent courgette sauce takes a cup of olive oil, you're sautéing off all the water and not simply stewing the bloody things in their own juices.
Basically, whatever you do, you need to cook off all the water. They're OK on pizza if sliced very finely so they go crisp, but really, if you're going to do that, try potato.
I confess my ongoing antipathy to aubergines though. I've never managed to make a ratatouille worth bothering with.
I quite like aubergine in ratatouille, although I've only recently started to add them, and also as baba ganoush. But my favourite way with them is in caponata, or (one I haven't done at home), sliced finely with a "crinkle" grater, deep fried until crisp and served with (Greek) garlic dip - basically crushed garlic and breadcrumbs mixed to a paste.
I like aubergine in ratatouille, and baba
Post by: citoyen on 30 August, 2019, 02:55:37 pm
'Courgetti' is a good low-carb alternative to spaghetti - though you need to invest in a spiraliser for this. Once spiralised, you flash fry it in a very hot pan with olive oil until it just starts to soften (but before it breaks down too much and all the liquid starts coming out). Works well with bolognese.
As for aubergines, there are so many wonderful possibilities. My absolute favourite thing to do with aubergines is make baba ghanoush.
Second favourite is involtini (https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1768-involtini).
My wife invested in a copy of Chetna's healthy Indian cookbook recently - she was a semi-finalist in Bake-Off a few years ago. Loads of good stuff in it but our favourite so far is chana dal topped with spicy roasted aubergine. Seriously tasty.
Aubergines are also good on the barbecue - slice the aubergine lengthways very thinly, salt it to draw out some of the moisture, then use it to wrap up chunks of mozzarella and thyme and chuck on the barbecue for a few minutes on each side. Always popular.
Post by: ian on 30 August, 2019, 04:02:26 pm
I do like saying baba ghanoush though, admittedly because it sounds a bit like it might be one the lesser lieutenants of Cthulhu.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 September, 2019, 03:33:27 am
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2019, 10:47:03 am
Post by: citoyen on 04 September, 2019, 01:26:05 pm
I do like saying baba ghanoush though, admittedly because it sounds a bit like it might be one the lesser lieutenants of Cthulhu.
I've remembered another aubergine dish I love: Imam Bayaldi
Which also sounds like a Cthulhu character.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 September, 2019, 02:34:13 am
Post by: ian on 05 September, 2019, 09:12:09 am
Post by: spesh on 05 September, 2019, 10:17:14 am
Imam Bayaldi was the chap who taught Abdul Alhazred everything he knew about tentacles, before founding a chain of bargain supermarkets.
But I do so love his recipe book.
Ah yes, The Necronomnomnomicon...
Post by: spesh on 05 September, 2019, 10:19:03 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 September, 2019, 04:31:48 am
Post by: Pingu on 06 September, 2019, 11:00:56 pm
Things I didn't know until recently: Rudolf Hess was a vegan.
Rant ???
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 September, 2019, 06:50:10 pm
Things I didn't know until recently: Rudolf Hess was a vegan.
Rant ???
More a response to teh spesh, really. Anyway:
The defining feature of a curry is surely that it has Stuffs in some sort of piquant and, well, curry-flavoured sauce. Not dry chicken, dry rice, two manky lumps of micro-corn-on-the-cob and a sprig of broccoli that not even Chrissie Hynde could warm to. And no sauce, just to be perfectly clear.
Yes, you, caterers to British Airways at Phoenix Sky Harbor >:(
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 October, 2019, 02:19:00 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 17 October, 2019, 02:25:58 pm
Having food spin as you cut it up is NOT fun!
We Want Plates!...
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2019, 12:24:22 am
The defining feature of a curry is surely that it has Stuffs in some sort of piquant and, well, curry-flavoured sauce. Not dry chicken, dry rice, two manky lumps...
...is the point I got to before concluding that you were probably talking about airline food.
Post by: ian on 18 October, 2019, 01:38:22 pm
Post by: Tim Hall on 28 October, 2019, 02:45:52 pm
What the actual fuck, Southern's stupid train wifi blocks beer-related web sites. You can't download beer directly through the internet, I've tried.
You can download wine though. Or so YouTube would have us believe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNL4dnfxHIc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNL4dnfxHIc)
Post by: ian on 28 October, 2019, 03:51:11 pm
But they do block videos.
Post by: T42 on 29 October, 2019, 02:24:25 pm
"What flavour are they?" quoth I.
"They're bio," quoth she, pronouncing it in the French manner: beeoh.
So now we're eating B.O.-flavoured crisps with our evening glass of unspeakable H2O. Forget the guacamole, they're too fragile.
"Those Nacho cheese chips you like are full of all kind of horrible things," she sez.
"Gimme more," say I. "The bloody Metformin's already killing me, a few trace poisons won't change it. And some nice Badoit out of that plastic bottle in the fridge. Fuckit."
Post by: ian on 28 November, 2019, 10:58:14 pm
It was the return flight that really excelled. Once upon a time, you'd get an actual thing that at least tried to pass itself off as breakfast. It might not have been great but it was something. This time they flung a cold, clammy corpse of a croissant my way, slathered in the poor cousin of Monsieur Boursin, the one they pretend died as a child and keep in the barn. Or it might have been unset plaster of Paris to stick with the theme. It certainly stuck to my teeth. I've been expecting to pass an anatomically correct cast of the inside of my colon for the last two days.
It's possibly wrong to have gin for breakfast, but sometimes you need to self-medicate.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 November, 2019, 11:19:49 pm
It's possibly wrong to have gin for breakfast,Research needed.
Post by: spesh on 28 November, 2019, 11:52:57 pm
It's possibly wrong to have gin for breakfast,Research needed.
Not really - it is always gin o'clock somewhere. ;)
It only starts become wrong if imbibing at breakfast time according to the time zone you are in becomes a habit...
OTOH, a Bloody Mary with a hearty full English/Irish breakfast, anyone? :demon:
Post by: T42 on 29 November, 2019, 08:37:49 am
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 November, 2019, 09:21:44 am
Post by: hellymedic on 29 November, 2019, 01:23:58 pm
It's Ian's Boursin for breakfast that makes me blench. Anyone for garlic toothpaste?
I quite like the garlic Bousin-alike (Shumit) or pepper Boursin-alike (Pilpelit) on crackers as part of an Israeli breakfast.
Post by: T42 on 29 November, 2019, 01:37:45 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 29 November, 2019, 05:12:03 pm
Suspect they leave pastries and cereals for the FOREIGNERS.
Garlic should only be ingested when other fellow-diners ingest this also.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 November, 2019, 08:28:25 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 30 November, 2019, 02:12:35 am
WHY do people eat cornflakes and the like for breakfast?
Post by: T42 on 30 November, 2019, 09:22:04 am
Post by: hellymedic on 30 November, 2019, 01:41:59 pm
I just can't think of a worse 'food' for breakfast!
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2019, 01:43:14 pm
IMHO the worst breakfast food is a traditional BRITISH fry-up. I've nothing against fried food, but I don't understand how anyone can stomach it first thing in the morning. :hand:
Post by: hatler on 30 November, 2019, 01:51:51 pm
IMHO the worst breakfast food is a traditional BRITISH fry-up. I've nothing against fried food, but I don't understand how anyone can stomach it first thing in the morning. :hand:Wot ? Even after riding through the night to the coast ? :-)
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2019, 01:53:21 pm
IMHO the worst breakfast food is a traditional BRITISH fry-up. I've nothing against fried food, but I don't understand how anyone can stomach it first thing in the morning. :hand:Wot ? Even after riding through the night to the coast ? :-)
That doesn't count as morning, as it's still the night before (at least in digestive terms).
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 November, 2019, 02:36:28 pm
As for cornflakes, I was vaguely aware the original Mr Kellogg had some strange ideas but hadn't realised they were quite that strange. Though it seems that this strange one was John Harvey (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg) Kellogg and it was his brother, Will Keith, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Keith_Kellogg) who was mostly responsible for the cornflakes. Neither of them had anything to do with the Kellog-Briand Pact. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kellogg–Briand_Pact)
Post by: barakta on 30 November, 2019, 07:16:37 pm
Post by: Basil on 30 November, 2019, 07:23:25 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 December, 2019, 01:55:28 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 01 December, 2019, 03:57:36 pm
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either.
I put peach slices on my home-made muesli.
Post by: hellymedic on 01 December, 2019, 05:32:08 pm
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either.
I seldom eat cornflakes WITHOUT fresh strawberries dredged with caster sugar but we've hardly touched the cornflakes this year.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 December, 2019, 06:12:44 pm
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either."Walking on the beaches looking at the cornflakes"
No, doesn't work.
Post by: ian on 02 December, 2019, 05:12:10 pm
*Every now and again, when in the US, I'll grab of a little packet of Cheerios or similar just remind myself of how sugary they are. Basically, if you can get to the end of the bowl, you'll be bobbing up and down like you're on the wrong dose of antipsychotics and your eyes will be spinning like a fruit machine during a power surge with words falling out of your mouth like you've just hit the jackpot. I'm sure that if you plot the uptick in attention disorders in American youth next to breakfast cereal consumption you'll have a nice linear correlation.
Post by: hellymedic on 02 December, 2019, 10:01:34 pm
Post by: ian on 02 December, 2019, 10:20:02 pm
My advice as a once-upon-a-time resident alien is to give up the fight and order the pancakes and not spare the syrup. I used to get my bread from an artisan place and I think it was about $80 a loaf and even then I had to hide in the kitchen and leap out every time she reached for the sugar.
Or the French toast which should be wrong on about every level possible yet isn't.
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 January, 2020, 04:51:42 pm
Post by: Canardly on 07 January, 2020, 12:06:42 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 07 January, 2020, 02:09:41 pm
I cannot find prepared lamb casserole mixes locally bah.
First World Problems are over here =====>
Post by: perpetual dan on 08 January, 2020, 10:15:16 pm
I cannot find prepared lamb casserole mixes locally bah.
Now I've got an image of a sheep done like a prepared piano from that. Maybe i need a drink.
Post by: T42 on 28 November, 2020, 10:35:04 am
Another thing, too: all of a sudden, dark raisins have vanished from the shops and we're left with pale, boring sultanas tasting vaguely of dead fish, a little sweetness and some kind of mild acid (what would it be, lactic?). The last decent dark ones we had dated from about three months ago, and had a beautiful rounded flavour and no vile oiliness. Then we had some mediocre Trader Joe mixed ones (Aldi/US brand, which maybe explains it) and then even those were displaced by horrible bland sultanas. :sick:
Bah.
Post by: Efrogwr on 28 November, 2020, 01:03:49 pm
Raisins. You wouldn't think it possible to spoil them, but all of a sudden every bagful we get seems to have been drenched in evil-tasting oil. "Sunflower" it says on the packet but the <obligatory fruity language> stuff tastes more like extract of beached whale. Bleh.
Another thing, too: all of a sudden, dark raisins have vanished from the shops and we're left with pale, boring sultanas tasting vaguely of dead fish, a little sweetness and some kind of mild acid (what would it be, lactic?). The last decent dark ones we had dated from about three months ago, and had a beautiful rounded flavour and no vile oiliness. Then we had some mediocre Trader Joe mixed ones (Aldi/US brand, which maybe explains it) and then even those were displaced by horrible bland sultanas. :sick:
Bah.
Some American raisins are labelled with paraffin as an "ingredient"... I assume that this is wax.
For flavour i like Flame (if the grape variety is stated on the packet).
Does raisins beig sun dried make any difference? P
Post by: T42 on 28 November, 2020, 01:55:33 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 28 November, 2020, 02:51:13 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 November, 2020, 03:49:38 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 28 November, 2020, 09:36:50 pm
ETA (30 November). They STILL don't have raisins. They're sending currants, of which I am not fond...
Post by: T42 on 29 November, 2020, 09:22:46 am
FFS! Does it matter if they stick together? It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
The lumps count as single raisins if you're on a diet.
Post by: citoyen on 29 November, 2020, 09:42:17 am
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 November, 2020, 11:19:17 am
:thumbsup:FFS! Does it matter if they stick together? It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
The lumps count as single raisins if you're on a diet.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 November, 2020, 11:22:05 am
Ah. I don't think I ever gave mine raisins but I do remember when he used to come back from school and say "I ate the healthy bits first." Didn't last long of course... He hated the school lunches so always sent him in with a lunch box. Seems almost like it must have been a different son and probably a different father!It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Post by: hellymedic on 29 November, 2020, 10:15:14 pm
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Mum got me mini Sun Maid boxes when I was in Infant School. A few years later, they also sold MUCH smaller boxes. I don't think these are 'greased'.
Post by: ElyDave on 30 November, 2020, 06:33:05 am
Post by: perpetual dan on 30 November, 2020, 07:59:02 am
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Coming out as a solid lump helps stop them ending up shoved up the child’s nose. Not lumpy enough ime.
Post by: T42 on 30 November, 2020, 08:36:33 am
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Coming out as a solid lump helps stop them ending up shoved up the child’s nose. Not lumpy enough ime.
I never shoved them up my kids' noses. Is this a modern part of "parenting"?
Post by: perpetual dan on 30 November, 2020, 08:38:14 am
Miss Dan the Elder managed all by herself. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Post by: Paul on 30 November, 2020, 09:01:29 am
We used to refill those little red boxesI did that! And I used to refill fruit shoot bottles with supermarket apple and blackcurrent.
Post by: T42 on 30 November, 2020, 09:07:11 am
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
They grow up fast these days.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 November, 2020, 11:18:00 am
That's working class parenting. Middle class parents make a carefully calculated decision that it is in their offspring's best long-term interests to learn to breathe through one nostril.It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Coming out as a solid lump helps stop them ending up shoved up the child’s nose. Not lumpy enough ime.
I never shoved them up my kids' noses. Is this a modern part of "parenting"?
Post by: citoyen on 30 November, 2020, 12:49:29 pm
I did that! And I used to refill fruit shoot bottles with supermarket apple and blackcurrent.
That's proper middle-class parenting. ;D
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 February, 2021, 07:33:47 pm
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Post by: Jurek on 12 February, 2021, 07:35:59 pm
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 February, 2021, 08:01:57 pm
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
But yes! They come in little plastic pots containing the equivalent of one (1) small tin of Beanz and have the advantage of not slicing the end off your finger when you rinse them out before bunging them in the recycling bin. Peel back the top, nuke for eighty (80) seconds and a piping-hot serving of beany goodness is all yours.
Post by: ian on 12 February, 2021, 10:18:14 pm
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Post by: fuzzy on 12 February, 2021, 11:05:33 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 12 February, 2021, 11:49:39 pm
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
We do meekro-Whave baked Beanz but get them out of an ordinary tin, into a ceramic bowl.
Post by: Kim on 12 February, 2021, 11:50:26 pm
But yes! They come in little plastic pots containing the equivalent of one (1) small tin of Beanz and have the advantage of not slicing the end off your finger when you rinse them out before bunging them in the recycling bin. Peel back the top, nuke for eighty (80) seconds and half a piping-hot serving of beany goodness is all yours.
FTFY
Post by: hellymedic on 12 February, 2021, 11:51:22 pm
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
Post by: jsabine on 13 February, 2021, 01:58:36 am
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
Iron Man, Iron Man,
Does everything that Pressing Man can ...
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 February, 2021, 11:39:39 am
Makes a hole in your trousers pert
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 February, 2021, 11:40:30 am
Heinz fucked their beans up a while ago. We have jumped ship to Branstons.Shall look out for them.
Post by: Tim Hall on 13 February, 2021, 06:43:53 pm
Is the little plastic pot the convenience food equivalent of a ramekin, the uber-poncy way of serving beans?o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
But yes! They come in little plastic pots containing the equivalent of one (1) small tin of Beanz and have the advantage of not slicing the end off your finger when you rinse them out before bunging them in the recycling bin. Peel back the top, nuke for eighty (80) seconds and a piping-hot serving of beany goodness is all yours.
Post by: Flite on 13 February, 2021, 08:21:55 pm
Beans and sauce properly distinguishable
With Heinz the sauce and beans sort of merge into a sticky oneness.
Post by: hellymedic on 13 February, 2021, 09:49:18 pm
Post by: L CC on 14 February, 2021, 10:28:47 am
To my knowledge, Nestle have never owned Branston Pickle.
Post by: hellymedic on 14 February, 2021, 06:09:03 pm
Branston belongs to Mizkan now. Most of the brand crossovers are just licensing - but Branston beans are still made by Premier Foods at Sutton and they have the pickle spice recipe from when they owned Branston.
To my knowledge, Nestle have never owned Branston Pickle.
It seems they did until 2004, which is not yesterday.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branston_(brand) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branston_(brand))https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crosse_%26_Blackwell (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crosse_%26_Blackwell)
Post by: ian on 15 February, 2021, 10:32:13 am
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.
Post by: hellymedic on 15 February, 2021, 10:23:35 pm
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.Iron Man...
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Blast off!
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 February, 2021, 11:08:20 pm
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.Iron Man...
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Blast off!
Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling…
Post by: fuzzy on 16 February, 2021, 11:06:46 pm
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.
So Ian farts in the face of all the efforts to protect the planet...
Post by: ian on 17 February, 2021, 09:49:58 am
Post by: Regulator on 17 February, 2021, 05:43:01 pm
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.
One of the brothers in my former community was from Rhode Island and used to make homemade Boston Baked Beans. A coronary on a plate...
Post by: ian on 17 February, 2021, 09:11:06 pm
The New Englanders are quite competitive about their baked beans (and their chowders, of course).
Post by: Pingu on 17 February, 2021, 10:18:05 pm
Post by: tiermat on 18 February, 2021, 08:04:48 am
A tortilla rolled up without the ends folded over is a tube not a wrap :demon:
To quote Guy Fieri "Everywhere else in this country, we call that a Burrito, but you call it a wrap"
Post by: ian on 18 February, 2021, 09:45:00 am
A tortilla rolled up without the ends folded over is a tube not a wrap :demon:
Even when they do the bottoms they Do It Wrong and you end up finishing on a mouthful of bread that you have to chew into wallpaper paste. Wraps are mostly made of fail. Burritos are where it is at.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 February, 2021, 07:52:18 pm
o hai mr heinz!
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Puts pot on piece of kitchen towel before nuking…
Ha! Ph3@r m1 l33t cul1n@ry 5k1llz!
Post by: Basil on 21 February, 2021, 09:05:15 pm
:(
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 23 February, 2021, 08:12:10 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 23 February, 2021, 09:09:46 pm
Apple manufacturers! Stop with those bloody sticky labels.
+1
& pears and many loose fruits.
Post by: rafletcher on 24 February, 2021, 11:28:13 am
Apple manufacturers! Stop with those bloody sticky labels.
+1
& pears and many loose fruits.
The penalty for individual pricing vs selling by weight (an generalist till operators who
Post by: hellymedic on 24 February, 2021, 04:26:02 pm
Post by: Jurek on 04 March, 2021, 05:15:08 pm
The order for which was placed on February 18th.
Middle class? Moi?
DHL claim to have it in their possession.
Which, at best, is a worry.
ETA - Its still in New Jersey ::-)
Post by: ian on 05 March, 2021, 10:01:07 am
Post by: T42 on 05 March, 2021, 11:04:23 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 March, 2021, 06:48:57 pm
I can't get the stuff reliably, Sainsbo's subbed me a super expensive tin of Amoy last week which was fine but now they deny all knowledge of it.
I was going to distress purchase a 4 pack of Biona Organic from Ama$on but their reviewers swing wildly between 'amazing' and 'fucking vile'.
There's none in the house and it's the weekend and I don't have a sodding piña colada! >:( (Oh, the huge manatee).
Post by: andrewc on 06 March, 2021, 08:44:28 pm
Local Indian or Chinese supermarket? My local one, the wonderful Matta's does deliveries. https://www.mattas.co.uk/?s=coconut&submit=Search&post_type=product&paged=4&post_type=product
Post by: orienteer on 06 March, 2021, 08:45:06 pm
Post by: ian on 06 March, 2021, 09:07:12 pm
Disappeared from Waitrose too. Only offering coconut cream. Can that be diluted to make milk? ???
Yes. Coconut milk is just diluted coconut cream. Make it simpler by diluting it with rum.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 March, 2021, 10:19:38 pm
I thought I had some in my Brexit stash too, but it was all tomatoes and pulses :(
Coconut cream is way more sweet than coconut milk. Tried it, it was disgusting.
ETA - maybe that was cream of coconut
ETA 2 - Sainsbo's doesn't have any of that either.
Post by: orienteer on 06 March, 2021, 10:28:02 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 06 March, 2021, 10:32:26 pm
Post by: Clare on 06 March, 2021, 10:37:59 pm
Post by: ian on 07 March, 2021, 05:27:40 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 07 March, 2021, 07:22:41 pm
Post by: nicknack on 07 March, 2021, 08:04:26 pm
Plenty in our Waitrose. I've given up on ever seeing tomato puree again though.I've got a half tube in the fridge. What will you give me for it?
Post by: hellymedic on 07 March, 2021, 08:59:09 pm
I still have ¾ of a tube in the fridge. I'm fairly sure Sains listed it on their website when I last looked, which implies it's available in NW London.Plenty in our Waitrose. I've given up on ever seeing tomato puree again though.I've got a half tube in the fridge. What will you give me for it?
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 March, 2021, 10:53:10 pm
Post by: ian on 08 March, 2021, 10:11:06 am
I got nabbed yesterday for messing with the Daily Mails (I always hide them behind the Croydon Guardian). There was a big tut from behind me. People won't be able to find them, she says. The point, succinctly. She seemed to agree and wandered off. Hopefully, I'm not on some kind of Waitrose blacklist. Don't make me go to Sainsbury's, I get itchy thinking about it.
Post by: T42 on 08 March, 2021, 10:19:38 am
Anyway, if you're out of puree and you have a spare pineapple, go for it. You might have to experiment with salt etc.
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2021, 12:26:00 pm
recovered pineapple mush
Presumably that's a euphemism for liquefied spiky bits.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 08 March, 2021, 04:07:16 pm
Furrybootoon Sainsbo's appears to have all manner of tubes and tins of tomato puree.
Post by: T42 on 08 March, 2021, 04:19:02 pm
recovered pineapple mush
Presumably that's a euphemism for liquefied spiky bits.
It was the cores after they'd, well, cored the fruit to make pineapple chunks. He didn't mention the rinds. I heard once that the spikes are slightly toxic.
Post by: orienteer on 08 March, 2021, 09:19:57 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 March, 2021, 07:56:19 am
What, is there some sort of national coconut milk shortage now? Are there thousands of tins lost in a container atFolkestoneFelixstowe?
I can't get the stuff reliably, Sainsbo's subbed me a super expensive tin of Amoy last week which was fine but now they deny all knowledge of it.
I was going to distress purchase a 4 pack of Biona Organic from Ama$on but their reviewers swing wildly between 'amazing' and 'fucking vile'.
There's none in the house and it's the weekend and I don't have a sodding piña colada! >:( (Oh, the huge manatee).
Sorry, it is our fault.
MrsC has been stockpiling the stuff (along with dried pulses in 10 varieties. Bought in 1-2kg amounts each).
I think we currently have over 10 tins of coconut milk, plus coconut cream.
Post by: pcolbeck on 16 March, 2021, 08:13:02 am
Post by: tiermat on 16 March, 2021, 08:36:36 am
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
Allegedly that is so, but logic tells me it's is rubbish as all the breweries I know are running full pelt just to stand still (Bad Co, Brass Castle, Three Brothers to name but three local ones)
Maybe it's just those that rely on the On-sales market (InBev) that are suffering?
Post by: Jakob W on 16 March, 2021, 12:45:10 pm
At-home drinking is obviously up by a lot, but AIUI overall beer sales are heavily down by volume for the past year.
Post by: L CC on 16 March, 2021, 04:53:07 pm
We (as a society, not as a household) drink nice beer and nasty wine at home, but nice wine and nasty beer when we're out.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 16 March, 2021, 08:12:13 pm
What, is there some sort of national coconut milk shortage now? Are there thousands of tins lost in a container atFolkestoneFelixstowe?
I can't get the stuff reliably, Sainsbo's subbed me a super expensive tin of Amoy last week which was fine but now they deny all knowledge of it.
I was going to distress purchase a 4 pack of Biona Organic from Ama$on but their reviewers swing wildly between 'amazing' and 'fucking vile'.
There's none in the house and it's the weekend and I don't have a sodding piña colada! >:( (Oh, the huge manatee).
Sorry, it is our fault.
MrsC has been stockpiling the stuff (along with dried pulses in 10 varieties. Bought in 1-2kg amounts each).
I think we currently have over 10 tins of coconut milk, plus coconut cream.
:o
We now have 2 tins of light milk (too thin really), 2 small cartons of coconut cream (to be diluted and assessed for suitability) and a block of creamed coconut, for emergencies and experimentation.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 19 March, 2021, 06:25:53 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 March, 2021, 06:28:18 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 April, 2021, 07:40:32 pm
Post by: ravenbait on 01 April, 2021, 07:48:32 pm
The person responsible for the design of the lid-cum-grinder on the top of the wee jars of Hot & Smoky Chipotle sold in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles needs badly to be tracked down and sent into internal exile in Edmonton with only dried chilli flakes and dead dogs to eat.
That's worthy of a found poem.
Sam
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 April, 2021, 08:56:25 pm
Post by: rafletcher on 02 April, 2021, 09:17:50 am
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
Checking today, our Tesco has loads of Marmite containing products (crunchy and smooth peanut butter, Hummus) but no actual Marmite >:(
Post by: hellymedic on 02 April, 2021, 05:14:20 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 02 April, 2021, 05:20:29 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 02 April, 2021, 05:25:10 pm
And I'm mean...
Post by: Basil on 15 May, 2021, 12:19:00 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 19 May, 2021, 06:49:07 pm
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.
But where can you get non Marmite flavoured Twiglets cheap so you can add your own Marmite ?
Post by: hellymedic on 19 May, 2021, 07:48:27 pm
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.But where can you get non Marmite flavoured Twiglets cheap so you can add your own Marmite ?
Sainsbury's Pretzels aren't Twiglet-shaped but are otherwise similar...
Post by: pcolbeck on 20 May, 2021, 08:58:16 am
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.But where can you get non Marmite flavoured Twiglets cheap so you can add your own Marmite ?
Sainsbury's Pretzels aren't Twiglet-shaped but are otherwise similar...
I feel an experiment coming on ...
Post by: ravenbait on 20 May, 2021, 11:46:24 am
You used to be able to get them from Tescos.
Huge calories count, ridiculously more-ish. Don't bring me out in hives like Haribo do.
Can't find any anywhere in the local supermarkets where I do our regular shopping. Will have to buy them specially, and that's just not the same as sneakily adding them in with the rest of the shopping as a treat.
Sam
Post by: Tim Hall on 20 May, 2021, 11:49:07 am
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
Checking today, our Tesco has loads of Marmite containing products (crunchy and smooth peanut butter, Hummus) but no actual Marmite >:(
Yebbut the Marmite Peanut butter mixed stuff is good. Very very good. Hell yeah.
Post by: andrewc on 31 May, 2021, 09:57:59 am
Post by: ian on 29 June, 2021, 08:00:39 pm
Anyone, a bag of them fell out of the cupboard earlier and I glanced at the label. Fucking New Zealand. Someone shipped onions – a crop that grows in the UK and can be stored – all the way from quite possibly the most distant location possible.
Post by: Jurek on 29 June, 2021, 08:25:56 pm
Normally, I check where my veg comes from, I'm the annoying person who gets in your way reading at all the labels. But onions, you know, I just figured they came from somewhere local. I never associated onions with distant exoticism. They're not exactly avocados or pomegranates. They're, well, onions. They grow here in the UK, which has the perfect climate for growing onions.FFS From whom do you buy your veg?
Anyone, a bag of them fell out of the cupboard earlier and I glanced at the label. Fucking New Zealand. Someone shipped onions – a crop that grows in the UK and can be stored – all the way from quite possibly the most distant location possible.
Name and shame.
Post by: ian on 29 June, 2021, 08:34:31 pm
Further investigation reveals Kiwiland has a thriving onion export sector of which up to 48% is exported to Europe.
I have nothing against New Zealand onions, I can vouch for the fact they taste like onions, but it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
Post by: Jurek on 29 June, 2021, 08:39:49 pm
The stuff that Sainos is selling is flown in from Mexico.
Post by: Pingu on 29 June, 2021, 08:43:42 pm
Post by: ian on 29 June, 2021, 08:58:35 pm
There is a farm shop nearby, but I mostly end up getting distracted by the beer garden. Though it's doubly tough as there's also a taproom. At some point between the two, the provenance of onions becomes a subsidiary concern.
Post by: Tod28 on 29 June, 2021, 09:32:54 pm
Quote from: ian link=topic=90159.msg2636874#msg2636874
...... it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
[/quote
...... it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
[/quote
Probably cheaper to swap harvests around the globe than tie up capital in storage and the physical costs of storage are probably no less and maybe more than putting the onions on a slow boat.
Post by: jsabine on 29 June, 2021, 09:37:03 pm
On another topic (and I do acknowledge that this one won't touch your heart) English asparagus has been kicking off for the best part of the last eight weeks.
The stuff that Sainos is selling is flown in from Mexico.
I think most of the supermarkets have Asparagus (and the last stuff I bought came from Peru) and British Asparagus, and never the twain shall meet.
Post by: ravenbait on 30 June, 2021, 10:52:42 am
I think most of the supermarkets have Asparagus (and the last stuff I bought came from Peru) and British Asparagus, and never the twain shall meet.
Indeed. I generally get excited about the start of British Asparagus season, as I refuse to buy globally-shipped asparagus, only to be reminded immediately after the first tasting that I am incredibly sensitive to the resulting odour in one's urine.
"It's fine," I think, and get another bunch, then realise that I don't like the taste of asparagus (even scorched on the griddle, which is the best way to have it in the absence of a BBQ) enough to put up with the smell. So I don't buy any more until the next season comes around, by which time I've forgotten how bad the smell is.
Sam
Post by: rafletcher on 30 June, 2021, 11:09:54 am
And can I get kohlrabi from anywhere? No.
Something to celebrate then.
Post by: citoyen on 30 June, 2021, 12:23:39 pm
it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
I imagine the excuse is some kind of British onion shortage due to Brexit.
Post by: rafletcher on 30 June, 2021, 07:35:45 pm
it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
I imagine the excuse is some kind of British onion shortage due to Brexit.
Nope, it’s been usual for many years to find NZ onions at certain times of year. Just because it can be grown doesn’t mean it is. And as any fewl kno every meal starts with an onion.
Post by: Tigerrr on 03 July, 2021, 03:53:27 pm
And can I get kohlrabi from anywhere? No.Just ask for rutabaga. You will be fine.
There is a farm shop nearby, but I mostly end up getting distracted by the beer garden. Though it's doubly tough as there's also a taproom. At some point between the two, the provenance of onions becomes a subsidiary concern.
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 14 November, 2021, 12:53:10 am
Grumble. I over did my poached eggs.
Ooh, I hate it when that happens. I couldn't be arsed with poached eggs till I hit my 40s - they seemed like a weak, worthy, uninteresting version of proper (i.e. fried) eggs. Then I somehow became a convert, so now any failure of timing feels like a setback, a wasted opportunity, given that each episode of poached egg consumption is already making up for lost time...
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 November, 2021, 01:02:19 pm
Grumble. I over did my poached eggs.
Ooh, I hate it when that happens. I couldn't be arsed with poached eggs till I hit my 40s - they seemed like a weak, worthy, uninteresting version of proper (i.e. fried) eggs. Then I somehow became a convert, so now any failure of timing feels like a setback, a wasted opportunity, given that each episode of poached egg consumption is already making up for lost time...
A perfect poached egg is the the pinnacle of egginess. Wonderful creamy lusciousness that accompanies almost anything from salad to curry.
Post by: ian on 14 November, 2021, 06:12:38 pm
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 15 November, 2021, 12:13:40 am
Discovering a love for them decades after learning most of what I know about egg cookery though, I decided to start as simply as possible, then add whichever bits of accepted technique seemed to be needed. And it worked with no need for any such additions. I pour boiling water into a hot, shallow (frying) pan, turn it down to almost nothing so the water's not moving and therefore not likely to disturb the integrity of the not-yet-set egg, and crack an egg into it. And that's it. Timing's difficult as egg freshness is variable, but about 3-ish minutes? When it looks done and responds to a poke with the right amount of set-white-but-obviously-liquid-yolk yield, it's pretty much done. Lift with a slotted spoon or fish-slice, drape with kitchen roll for a few seconds to absorb excess water, and slide onto toast (or whatever).
And that seems to work. No swirling (which risks thrashing the unset white throughout the boiling water), no vinegar (which is too dilute anyway to actually help much with setting the albumen), no plunging into cold water to arrest the cooking process. Just cracking an egg into unmoving water that's hot enough to cook it, and lifting it out when it's cooked.
Post by: SoreTween on 12 December, 2021, 11:30:46 am
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 24 February, 2022, 07:26:59 pm
No? Me neither.
A modern, ridged, existed-for-less-time-than-people-have-been-saying-the-word-"griddle" pan is not a griddle. It's a ridged pan. Or a chargrill-pan. Or something else that isn't a griddle. It's a new thing, so coin a new term rather than pinching one that's already busy meaning something else.
Why does this matter? Language evolves, of course, and words take on different meanings. I'm perfectly well aware of that. I'm not a language snob who takes superior delight in saying "Can you? I don't know if you can, but you certainly may..."
The reason it matters is because a griddle - an actual, real, what-a-griddle-has-always-been griddle - is still a chuffing griddle, and if you're trying to shop for one, it's really bloody tiresome to find thousands of listings for the WRONG BLOODY THING.
Post by: citoyen on 24 February, 2022, 09:45:59 pm
The reason it matters is because a griddle - an actual, real, what-a-griddle-has-always-been griddle - is still a chuffing griddle, and if you're trying to shop for one, it's really bloody tiresome to find thousands of listings for the WRONG BLOODY THING.
Amen brother!
I was talking to someone about crumpets recently and mentioned that I cook them on a griddle. "What, one of those ridged pans?" No, a griddle. FFS.
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 24 February, 2022, 10:19:23 pm
As it turned out, me Ma was no longer using her old iron griddle for anything, so I scavenged it. It's nice to know that the essence of the scotch pancakes she taught me to make as a kid will be somewhere among the seasoning as I teach my kids to make them...
*English. I know the big fat cakey American ones have pretty much supplanted them as owner of the generic moniker nowadays, and I'm certainly happy enough to eat such things, but - as far as nomenclature is concerned - I still think of a muffin as being what a muffin used to be.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 25 February, 2022, 09:29:40 am
Cast iron, ridged on one side, flat on the other. Bit small to be a proper griddle pan, no good for crepe, but not bad utensil.
(Hmm, we have so many pans, the one thing we are missing is a proper flat griddle pan)
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 25 February, 2022, 01:37:02 pm
https://www.nisbets.co.uk/vogue-reversible-cast-iron-double-griddle-pan/m650
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 February, 2022, 01:45:15 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 25 February, 2022, 01:50:57 pm
Like this one mrcharly?
https://www.nisbets.co.uk/vogue-reversible-cast-iron-double-griddle-pan/m650
Smaller, with a handle like a frying pan.
Otherwise, yes.
Post by: Ham on 25 February, 2022, 02:14:26 pm
Post by: citoyen on 25 February, 2022, 03:28:40 pm
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
Out of interest, I just checked three different dictionaries - Collins, OED and Chambers - plus Wikipedia, and none of them have yet admitted the ridged pan as a valid definition of griddle, despite its apparent prevalence. The fight is not yet lost!
Interestingly, on this list of "the best griddle pans" from BBC Good Food, none of the product names include the word "griddle", so at least the manufacturers know what they're talking about. (Some years ago, I worked on BBC Good Food for a while and I would have been very resistant to allowing such errors into print.)
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/review/best-griddle-pans
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 February, 2022, 05:54:26 pm
I did see somewhere "girdle" listed as a British variant of griddle.
Post by: Flite on 25 February, 2022, 08:37:26 pm
Quote
I did see somewhere "girdle" listed as a British variant of griddle.Yes as in girdle scones, which I think are like welshcakes without the dried fruit.
March 1st next week - Welshcakes will be made.
Post by: Kim on 26 February, 2022, 12:44:30 am
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
This is probably the biggest revelation since I discovered the "broil" wasn't a typo.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 February, 2022, 01:12:31 am
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 26 February, 2022, 11:36:13 pm
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
This is probably the biggest revelation since I discovered the "broil" wasn't a typo.
Although it's not actually a typo, broil is never going to feel - to me - like what it purports to mean. Even though I know, I don't care. I can't use it and mean it. It sounds wet.
Sort of the opposite of fricassee, really. A word that sounds so light and skippy, so crisp, so redolent of frying, fritters, sautéing and frisbees...there's no way that deserves to mean a stew of any sort.
Post by: barakta on 27 February, 2022, 02:10:20 pm
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
See also pulchritudinous which is an incredibly ugly word.
This is probably the biggest revelation since I discovered the "broil" wasn't a typo.
Although it's not actually a typo, broil is never going to feel - to me - like what it purports to mean. Even though I know, I don't care. I can't use it and mean it. It sounds wet.
Sort of the opposite of fricassee, really. A word that sounds so light and skippy, so crisp, so redolent of frying, fritters, sautéing and frisbees...there's no way that deserves to mean a stew of any sort.
Post by: T42 on 04 March, 2022, 08:22:06 am
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 05 March, 2022, 12:08:37 am
A pox on hamburgers! Like Germany, Alsace has a wonderful tradition of sausage kiosks where you could stop for lunch on a ride and refuel with a merguez or rotwürst sandwich, washed down with a can of something. Over the last couple of years the ones I usually favour have been taken over and are now run by pimply-faced youffs of both sexes flogging god-damned hamburgers. :sick: :sick: :sick:
The filthy bastards.
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 05 March, 2022, 12:15:12 am
Post by: mllePB on 28 May, 2022, 05:36:42 pm
OK it's only dry-ish bones, but I still find the idea a bit :sick: being next to the human food.
Post by: geoff on 05 June, 2022, 12:57:46 am
Helpfully the bags advise "Wash before use". Needless to say it's going right back straight to Mr Tesco (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220604/73674306626bd7a7e3a2070cc817c930.jpg)
Sent from my STF-L09 using Tapatalk
Post by: ian on 05 June, 2022, 01:29:04 am
It’s almost like they want to kill the world. I figure at this point they’re actually trying.
Post by: ElyDave on 05 June, 2022, 08:15:06 am
Growing your own broccoli would be better of course. And that ginger does look mingin'.
Post by: citoyen on 05 June, 2022, 09:58:44 am
Post by: ian on 05 June, 2022, 02:02:41 pm
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 15 October, 2022, 09:20:50 am
Post by: Jurek on 15 October, 2022, 11:37:50 am
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.I had this with my previous hob - I found that a diffuser helped. JLP sell them.
Post by: Ham on 16 October, 2022, 01:49:17 pm
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
Somewhere There ^ there > there v or there < you will find my rant on the selfsame subject, LOOK, we have made gas work just like electric!! removing the prime advantage of gas. They (the neff etc group) appear to be hell bent on replacing functionality with geegaws, viz touch controls where knobs are better and faster for cooking. Grrr. At some point I'll have to replace what has been an excellent Neff hob, some 20+ years old now, it won't be with Neff.
Post by: rafletcher on 16 October, 2022, 05:01:44 pm
Post by: T42 on 17 October, 2022, 03:49:05 pm
Same goes for ingredients. Around here we can't get nuoc mam but we can get "sauce for nems" which is nuoc mam with a bunch of unwanted crap added. Ditto 5-spice powder: we can get "wok spices" but not t'other. It reminds me of what a colleague once told me when I asked how to access a particular system function: you shouldn't want to do that.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 October, 2022, 10:15:37 am
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
That is the one problem with our new (2ndhand) gas cooker. I've adjusted the burners right down, but still, on the lowest setting they don't do a decent simmer. You have to turn the flame off/on. Very irritating.
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 22 October, 2022, 10:02:00 pm
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
A double boiler allows porridge to survive even the most rudimentary of gas controls. That said, since the arrival of a microwave in our kitchen c.37 years ago, my porridge has not been troubling the gas supply.
Oats, water, bowl, ding.
Post by: citoyen on 23 October, 2022, 12:30:43 am
You really don’t want porridge boiling over in your microwave. DAMHIKT.
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 23 October, 2022, 12:57:20 am
Just need to remember to do it in short blasts and stir regularly.
You really don’t want porridge boiling over in your microwave. DAMHIKT.
You absolutely don't. Two minutes - no stirring - is fine in mine, but I've occasionally been nastily surprised. Usually when being asked to do a large amount for me and the sproglodites, and, when trying to extrapolate, finding the boilover trend to be logarithmic rather than linear.
I'm a make-with-water, dilute-with-a-splash-of-milk-to-serve porridgist though, so perhaps the boiling over is less of a threat to me. The heating of milk is a much stricter mistress than that of water.
Post by: hellymedic on 23 October, 2022, 01:08:55 am
Half a pint of milk
Two and a half minutes on full in 700W oven.
Works in my kitchen every time.
Suggest you watch like a hawk and use a big bowl.
Post by: neilrj on 23 October, 2022, 08:14:25 pm
Post by: Ashaman42 on 23 October, 2022, 08:23:42 pm
Sent from my SM-G525F using Tapatalk
Post by: JonBuoy on 28 October, 2022, 07:54:41 pm
I asked whether it could have been donated to local charities but apparently not - it was binned.
Not too sure about the meat and fish but in the interests of public safety I would happily have taken all the cheese off their hands!
I suspect that there may be a lot of local skip diving activity this evening.
Post by: Basil on 02 November, 2022, 07:40:41 pm
Chips seemed to have been boiled in warm fat rather than deep fried in hot fat.
I'm not a great fan of chip shop fare and that has put me off again for several months. 😒
Post by: Jaded on 02 November, 2022, 08:55:16 pm
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 November, 2022, 08:58:27 pm
It was also a terror with a microwave oven; the speciality of the house was to nuke pasties until they went flat.
Post by: Jaded on 02 November, 2022, 09:07:14 pm
Post by: Basil on 02 November, 2022, 09:28:34 pm
The big mistake was to say 'Yes please' when they asked if I'd like it warmed.
They put it into an expanded polystyrene burger box, firmly closed the lid, and bunged it in a microwave.
Soggy, Soggy pastry. :sick:
Bin.
Post by: Kim on 02 November, 2022, 11:47:50 pm
Post by: T42 on 04 November, 2022, 05:15:23 pm
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 11 November, 2022, 01:28:47 am
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
My erstwhile local chippy (Y Mabinogion, Bethesda) used to do a regular and a large chips. Figuring that large isn't generally twice the size of regular, and as neither of us were massively hungry, I once got us a large to share.
Four pounds.
Not sterling: 4lb.
Lasted a week of chip omelettes* every day.
*A discovery when working in Tanzania: chipsi mayai (literally "chips eggs"). A 500 Tanzanian-shilling streetfood treat, of a two-egg-and-handful-of-chips omelette.
Post by: Efrogwr on 11 November, 2022, 10:50:13 pm
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
My erstwhile local chippy (Y Mabinogion, Bethesda) used to do a regular and a large chips. Figuring that large isn't generally twice the size of regular, and as neither of us were massively hungry, I once got us a large to share.
Four pounds.
Not sterling: 4lb.
Lasted a week of chip omelettes* every day.
*A discovery when working in Tanzania: chipsi mayai (literally "chips eggs"). A 500 Tanzanian-shilling streetfood treat, of a two-egg-and-handful-of-chips omelette.
Was Brân Fendigaidd a regular customer?
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 13 November, 2022, 10:09:39 am
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
My erstwhile local chippy (Y Mabinogion, Bethesda) used to do a regular and a large chips. Figuring that large isn't generally twice the size of regular, and as neither of us were massively hungry, I once got us a large to share.
Four pounds.
Not sterling: 4lb.
Lasted a week of chip omelettes* every day.
*A discovery when working in Tanzania: chipsi mayai (literally "chips eggs"). A 500 Tanzanian-shilling streetfood treat, of a two-egg-and-handful-of-chips omelette.
Was Brân Fendigaidd a regular customer?
Gordon's alive...?!
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 December, 2022, 07:19:58 pm
i.e.
Macmillan coffee morning at work tomorrow, so in a fit of the vapours I thought I'd be sociable and go into the office.
Make lemon polenta cake. Put it in oven. Return 40m later and it's still pale and wobbly. Oven is barely 120C, not 160. Bollocks. Finish it off on fan but it's a bit dried out and presumably one of the top or bottom element is gone. The oven was new in April. :-X
That's going to bugger my bread making schedule.
Everything's been ok recently, no issues with weekly bread, pizza etc.
Last night I made a lasagne. Top & bottom oven. It didn't cook properly. Ate it anyway. Leftovers today.
We had some pies for lunch which Pingu put on fan oven. Got the Chefalarm probe out. 10C lower than advertised, no surprise, so tweaked up and all was well.
Tonight I went to reheat the lasagne, back to top & bottom oven. Probe said about 160C instead of 180 so I whacked it up til the knob said 200 and then shoved the dish in the oven.
30 mins later the probe is telling me it's 125C in there.
Bloody thing >:( :-\ :-\
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 30 December, 2022, 09:35:04 pm
Post by: Tim Hall on 01 January, 2023, 12:25:06 pm
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 January, 2023, 12:41:38 pm
Post by: Tim Hall on 01 January, 2023, 12:48:01 pm
Post by: Ham on 09 January, 2023, 10:01:40 pm
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Ah yes, I know what you mean. Mind you, roasting at 200c+ for a period might be a suitable treatment for some yorkies
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 04 February, 2023, 12:24:07 pm
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Post by: Efrogwr on 04 February, 2023, 08:52:29 pm
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
no, no,no!
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Post by: jsabine on 04 February, 2023, 09:57:54 pm
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Personally, I feel quite justified in keeping a package in the freezer so I can satisfy any guest who should have the temerity to ask for "roesties"
(https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/images/products/roesti-potato-fritters-frozen__66957_pe180435_s5.jpg?f=xl)
Post by: Slave To The Viking on 04 February, 2023, 10:18:03 pm
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
no, no,no!
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
A-ha.
My Dad, in his 8th decade - a York native, son of a chocolate factory worker who made Yorkies - calls Yorkshire puddings Yorkies.
They're Yorkies. I don't call them that, and probably never will - I call them Yorkshire puddings, as that's what my (non-local) Ma always called them, so it's stuck with me. But plenty of people in Yorkshire (and everywhere else) call them that, and no amount of insisting on their full name will change that.
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2023, 01:19:09 am
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Each square, a chunky big mouthful...
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 February, 2023, 09:31:27 am
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Each square, a chunky big mouthful...
Yebbut remember It's Not For Girls!
Post by: Efrogwr on 05 February, 2023, 01:11:28 pm
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Each square, a chunky big mouthful...
Thanks. I couldn't remember the start of that line.
Post by: Flite on 05 February, 2023, 04:01:46 pm
Quote
Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies.Where I come from, and when I was young, they were called batter pudding - singular.
One big one, cooked in the roasting tray under the meat.
It was fluffy at the edges, and solid, but soaked in gravy, in the middle.
Post by: hellymedic on 05 February, 2023, 11:19:56 pm
Yebbut remember It's Not For Girls!Each square, a chunky big mouthful...no, no,no!Dear The Internet.Dear kthxbai,
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
In case you are unaware, much of my life has been spent doing 'non-girlie' things...
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 February, 2023, 10:46:12 am
Ooh I like those. Though I've only ever had them homemade. Can't work out what the herb on top is. Basil? Anyway, they're potato cakes to me.Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Personally, I feel quite justified in keeping a package in the freezer so I can satisfy any guest who should have the temerity to ask for "roesties"
(https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/images/products/roesti-potato-fritters-frozen__66957_pe180435_s5.jpg?f=xl)
Post by: T42 on 06 February, 2023, 10:54:57 am
Post by: citoyen on 06 February, 2023, 12:29:36 pm
They're Yorkies. I don't call them that, and probably never will - I call them Yorkshire puddings, as that's what my (non-local) Ma always called them, so it's stuck with me. But plenty of people in Yorkshire (and everywhere else) call them that, and no amount of insisting on their full name will change that.
My mum was born and bred in Pontefract and she calls them Yorkies, which is good enough for me.
Mind you, she's a traitor to her heritage because she buys ready-made ones rather than making them herself. The skill skipped a generation but my gran (her mum) taught me how to make them when I was a student (a plate-size Yorkshire pudding loaded with onion gravy was a staple of my student diet). My gran was the best baker I ever knew. Can't remember if she called them Yorkies or not.
Post by: Tim Hall on 06 February, 2023, 03:23:16 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 February, 2023, 04:01:46 pm
Post by: citoyen on 06 February, 2023, 04:38:50 pm
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 February, 2023, 05:29:44 pm
Post by: pcolbeck on 06 February, 2023, 05:40:14 pm
They're Yorkies. I don't call them that, and probably never will - I call them Yorkshire puddings, as that's what my (non-local) Ma always called them, so it's stuck with me. But plenty of people in Yorkshire (and everywhere else) call them that, and no amount of insisting on their full name will change that.
My mum was born and bred in Pontefract and she calls them Yorkies, which is good enough for me.
I was born and raised in York and still live in North Yorkshire. Never heard anyone call them Yorkies, Yorkshires yes but not Yorkies.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 February, 2023, 05:50:24 pm
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
I had positive experiences in USA diners. The sort where you sit at a counter, and the cook is cooking directly on a huge hotplate opposite you. Closest I've come to that in the UK is in the much-missed fisherman's cafe in Whitby.
Seriously doubt that 5 guys can replicate that experience.
Post by: Jurek on 06 February, 2023, 06:03:04 pm
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
I had positive experiences in USA diners. The sort where you sit at a counter, and the cook is cooking directly on a huge hotplate opposite you. Closest I've come to that in the UK is in the much-missed fisherman's cafe in Whitby.
Seriously doubt that 5 guys can replicate that experience.
Fat Boys at Trinity Wharf used to be like that when Joe was running it.
A proper American diner.
Pastrami on rye - Mmmmmmmmmmm.
Since he left, it has turned into a shameful pancake place.
Who's best dish is disappointment.
Post by: barakta on 06 February, 2023, 06:33:02 pm
Don't really have a name for Yorkshire pudding(s), as we didn't have them. My mum is Scottish, and isn't that keen on big roast dinners, so we rarely had them and I don't remember having Yorkshire puddings, possibly just not a working class Glasgow/family thing.
Post by: ian on 06 February, 2023, 09:36:57 pm
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
I had positive experiences in USA diners. The sort where you sit at a counter, and the cook is cooking directly on a huge hotplate opposite you. Closest I've come to that in the UK is in the much-missed fisherman's cafe in Whitby.
Seriously doubt that 5 guys can replicate that experience.
They can't and don't. One of the delights of the US is a proper diner (and real family restaurants), though they're casualties of the endless expansion of the franchise chains. Even the endless refill of the waterly, bladder-bursting coffee have their charm. Don't expect portion control though, I remember the first time I went to a favourite in Virginia (https://www.dunersrestaurant.com), I had to give up after the starter.
Post by: nicknack on 06 February, 2023, 11:08:59 pm
Post by: ian on 20 April, 2023, 09:42:24 pm
The main would be better, slow-cooked beef, what can go wrong with slow-cooked beef? A lot, I discovered. I could write books about the subject now. On experimentally poking the first piece, my fork skittered off in stern rebuff into a pile of sauce (not the worst thing, if you've mixed wallpaper paste with despair and bisto and left it to self-recriminate for a week or two, you'd be there, a reduction of self-loathing). There were dabs of mustard that tasted merely of yellow and the two loneliest potatoes in the world (well, they were basically reconstructed potato balls) – those potato balls were by far the best thing in the meal, but there are atomic nuclei that are larger. There were two entire baby courgette but it's if you're trying to get excited about courgette, it's time to find a new hobby. But anyway, the meat, it's time to bring in the knife. Have you ever seen the adverts where they demonstrate chainsaw-proof Kevlar trousers (I have no idea why YouTube presents these to me, I do nothing online that would identify me as a lumberjack)? I may have been slow cooking wrong, but isn't the result supposed to be tender, to fall apart if I so much look at it sharply? This piece of beef had fight in it. This was a bar-room brawler. I was forced to saw it in half while trying not to look like I was trying to saw it in half. I had become the tabletop lumberjack. Finally halfed, with a resolution of Captain Oates, into my mouth I sent it.
Then I chewed. And chewed some more. Imagine if you tried to eat an armchair and yet it didn't taste nearly that good. An epic of chewing and then I had to do that thing and perfectly judge the social moment to spit it out unnoticed and deposit it on the floor. There was no dog to attempt to chew it further, had there been, I suspect it would have handed itself into Battersea and claimed asylum
Initially, I'd been disappointed with three pieces of beef, now looking at two, I was deluged in thick gravy of elation and despair. Only two. But still two. After a tentative poke to determine it too was stabproof, I nudged over to the side of the plate, but given the general sparsity of the meal, all I had was one baby courgette to hide it behind. Needs must. That left one piece that miraculously yielded to my fork in a manner that might have been close to intended. It was the only thing to save me from having to claim I'd turned vegetarian mid-meal. It was a tempting and enticingly miraculous conversion.
On the plus side, the wine was good, but I mostly drink Chateau Sainsbury out of a box so I set a low bar (I'm not bunging the extra two quid on a Waitrose box), and they did manage a decent negroni. I wouldn't have minded but the starter was £14 and the main £40. Had I been footing the bill, the chef would have needed a vest made out of that beef to save him for the wrath of my butter knife (the bread and butter were quite nice too, but really it would take a special effort to fuck that up).
I declined the dessert, it seemed too apt a way to declare myself a glutton for punishment. I have no idea what they did with that beef. Some kind of reverse wagyu? Was the beef cooked in 1899 and stored since then? Was the cow born in 1899 and only recently died? So many questions. The cheese sandwich that my growling stomach forced me to eat when I got home was ambrosia.
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 20 April, 2023, 10:06:57 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 April, 2023, 11:43:30 pm
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 April, 2023, 09:58:39 am
Salmon is an overrated fish.
There. I've said it.
I'm very partial to smoked salmon (although smoke trout is superior in every way). braised, pan-fried, baked salmon is just meh. Would rather eat mackerel.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 April, 2023, 10:10:57 am
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 April, 2023, 01:17:44 pm
I think Ian is using chatgpt to write reviews.
Salmon is an overrated fish.
There. I've said it.
I'm very partial to smoked salmon (although smoke trout is superior in every way). braised, pan-fried, baked salmon is just meh. Would rather eat mackerel.
+1. Love smoked salmon but I don't like the taste of unsmoked salmon.
Post by: Canardly on 21 April, 2023, 01:30:00 pm
Post by: Kim on 21 April, 2023, 04:22:56 pm
I think Ian is using chatgpt to write reviews.
Salmon is an overrated fish.
There. I've said it.
I'm very partial to smoked salmon (although smoke trout is superior in every way). braised, pan-fried, baked salmon is just meh. Would rather eat mackerel.
+1. Love smoked salmon but I don't like the taste of unsmoked salmon.
+2
Post by: ian on 21 April, 2023, 09:31:57 pm
I don't know a way to slow-cook beef that makes it tougher.
I'm unsure if being compared to ChatGPT is a compliment or a detriment these days. No GPUs were harmed in the writing of that review. I won't mention the venue as it feels a bit mean to do it after the fact if you don't complain there and then.
Post by: citoyen on 21 April, 2023, 10:34:31 pm
I don't know a way to slow-cook beef that makes it tougher.
Using the wrong cut would be a good start. They probably used super-lean fillet steak or something - the kind of cut that benefits from brief searing at most before it dries out.
Post by: hellymedic on 27 April, 2023, 12:09:22 pm
I have submitted a review of the product, which the mods will, no doubt, block but might draw attention to the fact...
Post by: hellymedic on 27 April, 2023, 05:37:46 pm
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Post by: Kim on 27 April, 2023, 06:51:50 pm
Post by: rr on 27 April, 2023, 08:49:04 pm
They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
Post by: citoyen on 09 May, 2023, 07:32:36 am
They've posted my review in full!
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
The headline inflation figure is a very misleading under-representation of the facts, isn't it - some things have gone up hardly at all, but it seems to be the basics that have been hit hardest by price rises. A 500g pack of linguine in Tesco was 55p in recent memory, now 90p.
I was in Sainsbury's the other day and had intended to buy some peanut butter. I usually get the 1kg tubs of Whole Earth crunchy* which not so long ago were around the £4.50 mark, iirc. Current price in Sainsbury's is £6.80, which means it has gone from being a staple to a luxury.
They had it for £5.50 in Waitrose yesterday, which was marked as a discounted price.
*the best peanut butter there is. Fact. This is not open to discussion.
Post by: Canardly on 09 May, 2023, 08:02:06 am
Post by: Ham on 09 May, 2023, 08:52:10 am
I usually get the 1kg tubs of Whole Earth crunchy
Dear Mr Citoyen
Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité, sous le beton les pavés and all that.
Please would you lead us in an uprising against the current authority and, while you're at it bring in the guillotine as a suitable recompense for their years of effort? You clearly have superhuman strength and skills, I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
Thank you for your service.
Yours
A jealous admirer.
Post by: hellymedic on 09 May, 2023, 10:13:53 pm
Partner bought a kilo of the same PB from Sainsbury's just before Christmas for just over a fiver I think. I've a £6.80 tub onorder for next week. It still seems the cheapest way to buy it.They've posted my review in full!390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...The headline inflation figure is a very misleading under-representation of the facts, isn't it - some things have gone up hardly at all, but it seems to be the basics that have been hit hardest by price rises. A 500g pack of linguine in Tesco was 55p in recent memory, now 90p.
I was in Sainsbury's the other day and had intended to buy some peanut butter. I usually get the 1kg tubs of Whole Earth crunchy* which not so long ago were around the £4.50 mark, iirc. Current price in Sainsbury's is £6.80, which means it has gone from being a staple to a luxury.
They had it for £5.50 in Waitrose yesterday, which was marked as a discounted price.
*the best peanut butter there is. Fact. This is not open to discussion.
Post by: citoyen on 10 May, 2023, 08:11:32 am
Does this peanut butter ^^^^ turn into concrete overnight like others?
Is it Meridian you're thinking of? Really not keen on that one - not least because it does tend to separate very easily.
No, Whole Earth doesn't do that.
Post by: citoyen on 10 May, 2023, 08:12:13 am
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
You haven't seen me very recently...
Post by: Ham on 10 May, 2023, 09:14:13 am
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
You haven't seen me very recently...
;D
There are very few foods I cannot trust myself with. Cheese. as a food group I can, just about - Vieux Mimolette, 2 year matured Gouda, no way no how. The other food in that danger group and exponentially easier to acquire is, of course, peanut butter. Would you like some ideas you may (?) not have tried? On a spoon, with raisins? As a sandwich, with tomato?(this might sound odd but it REALLY works) On home baked wholemeal or white toast, dough with caraway seeds added? and of course, mixed with marmite. You're welcome.
Post by: Poacher on 10 May, 2023, 09:41:12 am
Homemade bread: 50% wholemeal, 25% malted, 25% white.
Homemade coleslaw: white cabbage, onion, carrot, Lidl mayo, sultanas, lime juice, black pepper.
Post by: Ham on 10 May, 2023, 09:54:22 am
Post by: slope on 10 May, 2023, 10:52:32 am
Does this peanut butter ^^^^ turn into concrete overnight like others?
Is it Meridian you're thinking of? Really not keen on that one - not least because it does tend to separate very easily.
No, Whole Earth doesn't do that.
Agreed, Meridian is particulalrly impossible to re-mix in 1kg tubs :(
Post by: Legs on 10 May, 2023, 02:05:51 pm
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
You haven't seen me very recently...
;D
There are very few foods I cannot trust myself with. Cheese. as a food group I can, just about - Vieux Mimolette, 2 year matured Gouda, no way no how. The other food in that danger group and exponentially easier to acquire is, of course, peanut butter. Would you like some ideas you may (?) not have tried? On a spoon, with raisins? As a sandwich, with tomato?(this might sound odd but it REALLY works) On home baked wholemeal or white toast, dough with caraway seeds added? and of course, mixed with marmite. You're welcome.
https://www.nigella.com/recipes/elvis-presleys-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich (https://www.nigella.com/recipes/elvis-presleys-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich)
Post by: Poacher on 10 May, 2023, 02:16:20 pm
Can you put that coleslaw on a ham and pineapple pizza?Not something I would ever consider doing, but if that's to your taste I won't be judgmental.
Not publicly, anyway.
Post by: sam on 10 May, 2023, 02:29:16 pm
...I won't be judgmental.
Not publicly, anyway.
It has to be public or people don't learn.
Post by: hellymedic on 21 May, 2023, 05:44:38 pm
They've posted my review in full!
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
And now it's on Special Offer for 20p!
I've ordered 3 cartons.
Tinned tomatoes have sudden got rather pricy...
Post by: rr on 22 May, 2023, 08:55:26 am
I was nearly right.They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
Post by: Canardly on 22 May, 2023, 09:24:48 am
Post by: hellymedic on 22 May, 2023, 03:12:21 pm
I was nearly right.They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
…Except that it's NOT AVAILABLE today...
Post by: L CC on 22 May, 2023, 03:39:20 pm
A packet of sliced Garlic sausage at Lidl was 75p not that long ago. I think it was Polish. Today in new packaging so probably a new supplier, £1.49. Camembert has now doubled in price also.Lidl define the packaging- that doesn't mean anything other than range change. Could be the same recipe from the same factory. It might mean the factory could no longer afford to produce to the 75p price point- it's not always retailer gouging. Just usually.
Post by: ian on 19 June, 2023, 08:27:52 pm
I don't often eat cake, but in the mood during a hike, I spied a box of almond slices in a convenience store as we stopped for drinks. Admittedly, Mr Kipling brings some mixed memories, not because he was a bad sort (please don't tell me, so much of my childhood has already been sown with salt), but because I always ended up with the pink French Fancy, which was universally acknowledged as the worst.
Anyway, off we wandered with our sugary prize back into the wilds of, erm, Bromley, seeking a suitable spot for our impromptu patisserie picnic (which turned out to be a soggy bench hosting a revealing glimpse of that palace of debauchery, Chevening).
Firstly, let me take issue with size. Size is sometimes important. This was an entire box of cake slices, right? It was ~50% packaging – a fact I verified with data science by unpacking all the slices and making a little bar chart of cake versus box. The pack is made up of individual packs of two bars, each of which needs a little plastic nest for them to live in, then film wrapping, and associated space around everything. A combination meal deal of both portion size disappointment and environmental destruction. Just unpacking them made me feel like the CEO of Exxon kicking a sea otter.
There's still cake though. Not so much of it, but enough that we can maybe fuel the remaining 10km back to the car. It's cake, Jim, but not as we know it. The sponge tasted like I'd imagine wallpaper paste to taste, a literally anaemic layer of jam, and slices of almond that may well have been the toenails off a corpse.
I did check the sell-by date, as I figured that maybe they'd been baked in the era of King Alfred, but they improbably only encouraged me to consume them before August. After which, I guess all bets were off.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 June, 2023, 08:31:53 pm
By they way, weren't they fondant fancies, or is that something different from a French fancy? And are the pink ones still the worst?
Post by: ian on 19 June, 2023, 08:39:25 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 June, 2023, 08:45:06 pm
Mr Google suggests to me that fondant fancies are a generic term for what Mr Kipling sells as French fancies (currently £1.50 for eight from Ocado, he – Mr Google – also tells me).
Post by: ian on 19 June, 2023, 08:51:06 pm
Post by: Kim on 19 June, 2023, 09:04:43 pm
Mr Kiplings French Fancies were the thing of my childhood (along with the noble if slightly treasonous Battenburg and a more patriotic Victoria Sponge on a Saturday evening). French Fancies were more of a Sunday afternoon cake. No one wanted the pink. Of course, my father got the chocolate ones, and my sister would only eat the lemon ones or have a big cry baby.
I liked the pink ones! Not as good as the lemon thobut.
I bet they don't sell them in France.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 June, 2023, 01:52:17 pm
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 20 June, 2023, 02:14:58 pm
Fortunately, I've managed to overcome this (the memory, not the tendency to overeat cake) and can now happily eat a French Fancy or six, though I agree that the pink ones are the worst (brown, yellow, pink being the correct order from good to bad).
Post by: ian on 20 June, 2023, 09:50:06 pm
There's something really disappointing about bad cake. As a former wobblephant, I am doomed to a perpetual wariness of senseless calories, so if I'm going to indulge it should taste good. Disappointing lettuce isn't nearly as disappointing as disappointing patisserie.
In other news, a deer once stole my Bakewell tart. I balanced it on a wall for a moment and the bugger jumped up (there was a drop on the other side) up and snarfed it down and then stood there with a 'what are you going to do, I'm a deer' look and then bounced off. The worst thing is that my wife, to this day, does not believe the deer ate my tart and thinks I ate it and I'm just blaming the deer for the rapidity of the aforementioned tart's consumption. A verdict she delivers with an accompaniment of piggy oink oink noises.
Post by: Pingu on 20 June, 2023, 10:18:43 pm
...In other news, a deer once stole my Bakewell tart...
I have seen deer mugging people for Mars Bars. Don't mess with large animals with sharp stabby things protruding from their heads.
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 June, 2023, 11:54:31 pm
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 June, 2023, 08:18:48 am
Post by: ian on 21 June, 2023, 08:38:24 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 June, 2023, 08:47:19 pm
Post by: ian on 21 June, 2023, 09:34:20 pm
A monkey stole a curry from the table next to mine in Malaysia once. Clambered up a tree with the bowl intact, much to the distress of the diner, then looked at the bowl, looked back at the table, balanced the bowl on a branch, jumped back down, and snatched a handful of chappati to go with it.
In my experience, Indian monkeys are the naughtiest, followed by Malaysian.
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 June, 2023, 09:37:34 pm
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 June, 2023, 09:56:38 pm
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 November, 2023, 08:21:32 am
Edit: disaster averted. Beans and grinder located. Cats scared by noise of grinder. Builders not scared by noise of grinder, steal coffee, force me to brew some more chiz.
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2023, 07:04:42 pm
As it was, I threw it raw in my pot of macaroni cheese and made magic macaroni smoked haddock rarebit. Took about 10 minutes to brown and yes the fish was cooked.
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 01 December, 2023, 09:34:50 am
I don't usually read the instructions, but we're all familiar with the common cook's bugbear of recipes that claim onions can be be browned in five minutes, a feat only possible if you've got a flamethrower; the instruction on the back of my smoked haddock package last night took things in the opposite direction and claimed I should poach it for '19 minutes.' Impressive precision, but really, surely a thin piece of haddock poaches in a few minutes? Nineteen minutes. Stop being mental Waitrose.Restaurants 'brown' onions rapidly by throwing white sugar in the pan.
As it was, I threw it raw in my pot of macaroni cheese and made magic macaroni smoked haddock rarebit. Took about 10 minutes to brown and yes the fish was cooked.
Post by: ian on 02 December, 2023, 07:59:33 pm
Post by: slope on 02 December, 2023, 11:22:39 pm
Even with sugar you can’t brown them in 5 mins. There’s an article (https://slate.com/human-interest/2012/05/how-to-cook-onions-why-recipe-writers-lie-and-lie-about-how-long-they-take-to-caramelize.html) somewhere where a chef tries all the different ways and can’t get them browned under 30 mins. Lies from Big Kitchen.
As often in these things lids are not often mentioned. I tend to soften onions in 'medium' heat oil with salt and the lid on for at least 15 minutes - to basically sweat. Mainly cos one doesn't need to keep a constant eye and stir the things in case they start to catch. Then remove lid and stir more frequently until done to soft and translucent and another 10 minutes to get from soft and squidgy, to golden rather than browned - and that will take at least another 10 minutes under a very watchful eye
Indeed there are many lies from Big Fake Kitchen's recipes which get repeated to such an annoying extent
We should perhaps start a specific thread and begin to list them?
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 December, 2023, 03:27:58 pm
Where my son works now, they destroy (by delamination) frying pans in about a month.
Ton's of fat, smoking hot temps, so much sugar and salt that arteries and pancreas dies at the door; that's a commercial kitchen.
Post by: citoyen on 11 January, 2024, 01:07:00 pm
Post by: hellymedic on 11 January, 2024, 06:03:32 pm
Serves 2.
Yeast dough, tomato goo & cheese, no meat.
HOW MUCH MONEY???
HOW LITTLE FOOD?
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 January, 2024, 07:59:38 pm
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2024, 08:00:11 pm