Every French garage sells hi-viz vests for about £4.
Just buy one, put it on at night and your uncle instantly becomes Bob.
If you're worried about it affecting your "coolness" then stop worrying, it's dark at night (and besides which, you are probably, statistically speaking, middle-aged, wearing lycra, wearing a cycling helmet, stinking to high-heaven and walking like John Wayne, Angelina Jolie stopped stalking you years ago).
What a fuss.